#that fucking NYT article made me rage so much
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the level at which people are misusing the term "Never Again" in the far left absolutely infuriates me.
"Never Again" doesn't refer to the idea of no more genocides -- unfortunately people are evil and corrupt and seek scapegoats and destruction, there were genocides in the years following the Holocaust, there were genocides 10 years ago, there are multiple genocides going on as we speak
"Never Again" means we as Jews will pay attention to the warning signs, will not mindlessly allow antisemitism to fester and take over our communities, we will fight back. it means we will be proud. it means we will not let you hate us without a word of refusal.
"Never Again" is a warning for us, it is a reminder that what happened then can happen now -- is happening now. The Far Left doesn't get to use it against us. You don't get to turn our tragedies into hate-speech and antisemitic rhetoric.
Am Yisrael Chai
#abby speaks#that fucking NYT article made me rage so much#needed to get this out#if this somehow makes you pissed at me go ahead the unfollow button is right there#I have always said that Palestinians deserve a state and I have always believed that Israel has a right to exist#the lack of knowledge at these “protests” shocks me - people don't know which river or which sea; they don't know about the hostages#free gaza from hamas#we are allowed to mourn the “protests” started before we'd even had a chance to.#I will never ever forgive or forget the people that have made mourning still feel impossible#I am not about to sit here and say that the Israeli government is blameless#however if you didn't know that 1000s of Israeli have spent the past year protesting against Netenyahu's right wing government shut up#we need actual solutions; neither Israelis nor Palestinians are going anywhere#and you guys need to start calling out the antisemitism in your movement#I have my doubts on that actually happening and you'll never see me donate to a lot of these causes again#the goy left has lost my respect and my trust and now it only has my side-eye#sorry for the rant in the tags it's been an exhausting few months
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so not to ruminate on things that vex me, but the past 2 or so months have been kinda shit, and i’m trucking along and there absolutely are high points and good things and joys that balance some of this out, but i need to vent out some of the negative emotions somewhere to get ‘em out. so i guess i’m doing that here because -
we’re in lockdown#6 where i live (state of victoria) and it’s hard, this yo-yo of restrictions and swinging in and out of one lockdown after another.
for those who understandably won’t know, what we call lockdown here means not just restaurant and commercial closures and mandatory working from home unless you’re in an industry where that’s impossible -- it also means no guests (0) inside you’re home unless you’re both living alone and single or else romantic partners, it means not leaving your home at all except for one of 4-5 necessary reasons, not being outside for more than 2hrs per day even to exercise, and not going more than 5km from your home unless required for work/medical/etc required reasons.
it’s intense. we spent (i think) 128 days in this degree of lockdown in 2020, never mind how many we spent in other forms of restrictions and working from home. and we’ve been back in it four (4) times in 2021 already. in-out-in-out-in-out -
it’s taking a toll on the mental health of every person i know. we get weekly emails with wellbeing and resilience tips from my job -- not just “be productive or else” capitalism but heartfelt ones from wellbeing officers with copies of articles like this one on languishing from the NYT, acknowledging we’re all struggling and directing us to the plethora of wellbeing resources our workplace is trying to provide, not only to us but reminding us they offer it to our families too.
i’m one of the lucky ones. i’m really not trying to wallow here or to pretend otherwise. i appreciate that i can work from home, even though i can’t focus when i do and it this interacts with my adhd to fuck my productivity. even if i’m so behind and delayed it feels like i’ve lost 12-18 months worth of work and it will have long-term ramifications on my career -- even so, i still i have a job. i still get paid. and i even kept my job, a bit by the skin of my teeth but i did, when my sector downsized last year. yes, the way my employer went about lay offs left a bad taste in everyone’s mouth (my own included), but i made it through.
and my sector, while affected, is by no means the worst of the collateral damage.
the yo-yo of lockdowns is taking a very very real toll on industries like hospitality, tourism, commerce. and the economy does have indirect effects on health and mental health as well. my friend, a waitress, was on her way to work the evening shift at a restaurant when she got the call about the latest lockdown. she had to turn around and go home because the announcement came just hours before the lockdown was imposed, and every place suddenly had to close by 8pm. bye bye evening shift. so much of the government support for these industries has dried up, has been inadequate.
lockdowns save lives. i don’t begrudge my state for imposing one except that yes -- i’m resentful we’re here again with only six cases. i can be both accepting and grateful and also pissed and tired and more all at once.
even more than the latest lockdown, i’m pissed about the yo-yo. that we went into lockdown in june, came out in july, went back in in july, came back out in july, are going back in now, in the first week of august. three lockdown/re-openings in 10 weeks, as if this rollercoaster doesn’t completely incapacitate our ability to plan or prepare for anything more than a week out, more than a day out -- in this case, more than a few hours out. 4pm the lockdown was announced, with an 8pm start time. as if that doesn’t have more insidious consequences on individuals and industries than a more clearly articulated and consistent approach. as if all the restaurants that got to open up this week didn’t purchase large food orders for this weekend that will spoil because they were given 4 hours notice to close their doors.
that’s the part i hate, right now more than the lockdowns themselves. consumer sentiment was at a high in april, optimism was everywhere. people felt good, and like we had a plan forward. now -- well, now my job is sending me emails about how normal and okay it is that i might be ‘languishing’ because aren’t we all?
and i absolutely do begrudge my federal government, and i’m angry with them, and this is part of why:
youtube
but i also accept, to some extent, that these decisions have all been made in difficult circumstances, and i’m not really about to pretend i could do any better.
at the same time, australia’s vaccine rollout is among the slowest and lowest at least within OECD countries. i know that’s partly because we’ve managed the keep cases low and therefore we are prioritized less when it comes to who needs the vaccines most (and thus who is earlier in line to be able to purchase) among other geo-political reasons i won’t get into, but it still very much sucks. our timeline and ability to move forward and ability to stop having lockdowns requires a mostly-vaccinated population, and that’s not something we’ll have anytime soon.
and i am a visa-holder here and my family is back in canada and with our current border restrictions leaving to visit is honestly is not an option because i wouldn’t be able to return, to work. i’m managing that distance okay most of the time despite my homesickness and frustration but my partner’s parents are older and his mother’s health just isn’t amazing and it’s weighing on him a lot.
a phd student i work with just had a parent die in another country while stuck here, had to drop everything to return, is devastated by not being by their parent’s side when it happened because it came on sudden, and now won’t be able to come back into australia after, will have to finish their thesis remotely from abroad. stories like that are becoming commonplace in certain circles, here. this student is not the first or only person i know who has been in that exact situation in the past year.
it’s enraging, and upsetting, and instills a sense of helplessness because -- there’s nothing that can really be done about it. there’s no good answer, but it’s scary to think of what could happen. i know it scares my husband. if his mother’s health suddenly dips -- does he drop everything and leave? how can he not? would i go with him or hold the fort here? what ramifications does that have either way?
right now, we’re in the first stages of getting permanent residency, my job is putting in the nomination, and this is one of those awesome high-points i mentioned. it’s a very much needed sense of security in my career and my future in this country. but while a PR application is pending and under review, you can’t leave the country, even in pre-covid times. it takes months to get the application fully nominated, accepted, then submitted, and months on months to process.
in january 2020 we had agreed that for xmas 2020 we’d return home to canada. obviously the world changed and we quickly determined that wouldn’t be the case. we pushed that plan back to july-aug 2021, then to october 2021, xmas 2021. my partner’s sister asked him last week if we started making plans, booking things for xmas, was calling to check that we’d had our second jabs. he had to explain the situation to her, that we aren’t even eligible for our first vaccine yet, that we aren’t holding out any real hope of visiting, not this year, not until mid-next.
anyway - i’m just. languishing, i guess, if that’s the word for it after all. i know it’s not the same as depression -- i’ve had episodes of that, been treated for it in different ways. this is and feels different, even if there are obvious similarities. whatever to call it, it sucks, and i hate it. and i hate the other lows and anxieties and crap i’ve been dealing with in the past few months as well that didn’t make it into this post about covid. crap with work, with friends, with goddamn car rentals of all stupid things. crap that’s making me anxious and crap that just needs processing. crap that is, ultimately, massively exacerbated because lockdowns turn us into little rats gnawing on the bars of our cages.
and i guess i just needed to talk about it somewhere, to organize my thoughts and free up some headspace (emotion space?) currently being used to hold these thoughts and feelings in place. i kind of hate posting personal crap like this and always get the urge to delete but i also have a hard time organising my thoughts if i don’t write them out with this intent to post. sort of want to go outside and scream at god, sort of want to phone up a friend and yell at him for an hour for being an exhausting ass, sort of want to be alone for a day to curl up under a blanket with a movie that’ll make me cry because raging at the universe is always so much easier when i’m alone and unobserved. but i guess since those aren’t especially kind or feasible i’ll post this instead.
anyway - if you read to the end of this for any reason, i’m not trying to be maudlin, and there’s really no need to respond. it’s just a feelings dump, sucking some of the poison out, not really much different than journalling but i’ve always been better at that online than on paper.
#ugh#personal post#just organising thoughts and bitching about present circumstances#because i'm tired of 2021's bullshit and needed to vent a bit#gpoy
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⌜ demi male , he/him | creep by radiohead , bijou movie theater , the pariah ⌟ ⏤ hey , isn’t that FORSYTHE PENDLETON JONES III ? the TWENTY - THREE year old NORTH SIDER has lived in town for their WHOLE LIFE , and has always denied their resemblance to ALEX FITZALAN . they’ve been a photojournalist & aspiring author for a while now , and i guess it makes sense --- - they’ve always seemed so CANNY & ASTUTE , though i have heard that they can be pretty TACITURN & CAVILLOUS . did you hear about how they STOLE THE IDEA FOR HIS FIRST MANUSCRIPT FROM AN ONLINE POST ? i always knew something was up with them .
disclaimer before i get right into the shits: i’m going very canon divergent here . i hate the way ras wrote jughead , and i’m going to fucking fix it . a lot of my interpretation is going to be based off headcanons . i just ... i hate cold sprouts and riverdale’s pathetic attempt at jughead , and i’m fixing that shit rn .
anyway ! my name’s van , i’m 20 , i’m a full slut for aesthetics . i use she/they pns , write out of the hellscape that is aest and i’m a full - time student doing a double degree in law and liberal arts , majoring in criminology and minoring in polisci . full disclosure abt the way i write: i tend to use heavily edited gifs / icons and heavily formatted text --- - if either of those bother you , please let me know and i’ve got no problem changing them . i use those because they’re my personal preferences , but accessibility and ease always comes first . in saying that , i’m done --- - so let’s crack on to this little shit !
born on may the fourth of 1996 , jughead jones is the firstborn son of fp and gladys jones , notorious southside serpents . they’re not wealthy --- - this is made evident when jughead is born , not in a hospital , but in the back of a beat - up car that neither of his parents technically own . they weren’t planning on having kids , but fate is a funny motherfucker , and so it goes . fp claims naming rights , and that’s how forsythe pendleton jones iii is brought into the world , kicking and screaming and making too much of a fuss . some things never change .
he doesn’t stay an only child for long . forsythia parthenia jones ( again , naming habits are likely crack - induced and entirely unfortunate in nature ) is born in august of 2000 . she’s got health issues from the beginning but the minute a near - 5 year old jughead jones lays eyes on his younger sister , he’s besotted . even at such a tender age , he feels a genuine drive to protect the wailing little ball that’s pressed flush against mother’s flesh .
childhood is an interesting adventure , spent shuttling between the north side , the south side , hospitals --- - rinse , repeat . it’s a strange existence , but he doesn’t mind it . he shows a proclivity for reading early on ; whether it’s nature or nurture is anyone’s guess , but sticking your nose in a book is the most convenient method of escapism one could imagine . he takes a liking to truman capote after picking it up during a hospital visit , finds himself lost in the magic of breakfast at tiffany’s . it’s around this time that he starts wondering if he could write books like this , if he could do something to this effect .
he was a socially awkward kid for the most part --- - distant , not always as present as you’d like , perpetual pre - pubescent loner with a head permanently affixed in the clouds . doesn’t help that a generally scruffy , unkempt appearance doesn’t quite gel with the neurotically gift - wrapped , glossy , picture - perfect image of a classroom that was presented in riverdale primary school ; he scared the other kids , unnerved them with a quick mouth and a dreamy look in the eye alike . he didn’t mind not having many friends , it was just something he got used to --- - naturally , though , this changes when archie andrews and betty cooper enter the picture . the world is forever changed ; the world turned upside down .
it’s a strange front they present: perky girl - next - door betty cooper , golden boy archie andrews , and --- - and what ? what glimmering adjectives does he preface himself with ? what praise befits the ugly duckling in a trio’s worth of cherubs ? he doesn’t know , therefore he doesn’t bother . there’s a conflict that rages , a lack of understanding as to where he fits into the picture and well into his adolescence , he genuinely believed that betty and archie only entertain his presence as a joke , something to laugh about later on in the piece . they reassure him it’s not , but suspicion lingers regardless .
that fateful fourth of july changes so much for jughead . his plans for that particular summer included movie marathons with jellybean , a few joints smoked in the bathroom , a foray into writing his first play --- - but in the blink of an eye , his childhood best friends are dragging him into a murder investigation that makes his stomach turn and his trust in a town that once seemed so wholesome evaporate almost overnight . sixteen is too young to feel the reverberations of such a horror , and they leave irreparable scars on good ol’ jug . little does the poor shit know , though , that it’s about to get worse .
hal cooper , disguised as ‘ the black hood ’ , goes on a killing spree and wipes out some of riverdale’s most beloved . his attempt on fred andrews is enough to make jughead want to pack his bags , heft a protesting jb into the back of an ancient car he’s saved up for , and run as far as he can . the events of 2013 only further reiterated that jughead actually wanted nothing to do with any of this bullshit . when the black hood’s identity was revealed , he cut off a blossoming relationship with betty right there and then and hasn’t even DARED to entertain the idea of rekindling it since .
at the same time , the serpents and ghoulies are dragging his family into a turf war and honestly , he’s so sick of this shit . he entertained the possibility of a serpent alliance once , flirted with the idea but watching the war unravel has only pushed him further away . he spends more time on the north side than he does at home , and there’s a good reason for that . he loves his family immensely , don’t get him wrong , but their pseudo - gang bullshit just isn’t for him . subsequently , jughead’s never had any kind of serious involvement with the southside serpents besides familial ties . he wants nothing to do with them .
so --- - to summarise all that mess , jughead’s kind of realised that this shit is FUCKED . he’s still reeling from jason blossom’s murder , still processing how hal fucking killed all those people , and he’s trying to sever himself from warring gangs . keep in mind , kid’s fucking eighteen at this point . he’s a dumb bitch , let’s not make any mistake about that , but he’s a dumb bitch who hasn’t dealt with the trauma he experienced as a teenager .
so anyways !!! let’s skip to present - day jughead , because this is my favourite bit . currently , he works as a freelance photojournalist who writes on the side . he’s written articles for nyt and a few papers upstate , and they’re his crowning achievements . he’s written a few little novellas here and there which are in the editing stage --- - he doesn’t think that any of them are that good , and isn’t really counting on getting them published . instead , he’s focusing on a novel right now ( and no , he didn’t steal the idea from a fucking tumblr post so stop asking ) .
he’s ditched the beanie , ditched that at about eighteen because he realised how fucking weird it was ( sans that ... whole speech ) . his hair and scalp have breathed since , and they’re loving a bit of oxygen .
he still eats like a mf . bitch can cram so much food in there . he can eat even more when he’s stoned , which is usually at 2 am on a saturday morning .
he’s got his own little place on the north side now , a little two - bedroom apartment that he shares with jellybean . they don’t have much , never really have but they’ve got each other , a selection of streaming services and vintage dvds , cheap liquor and all the time in the world . that’s all they need .
anyways fuck ras and his edgelord jughead , all jughead actually wants to do is write and hang out with his sister and watch bad 70s schlock horror thank u for ur time
#pep.intro#❛ : ―― 𝖎. 𝗼𝗵 ， 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝘂𝗺𝗯 𝗯𝗶𝘁𝗰𝗵 . ︵ intro .#it's long but it's worth it ... fixin ras's sins one post at a time !#like this n i'll come scream @ u for plots mayhaps
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