#thank you my dearest sailor 🥺 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hypo-critic-al · 2 years

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🌱🧡💙☀️

[I began to write this as short ask but it turned into a loooong post about my life and self-discovery, so-

TWs ahead: homophobia and transphobia, religious trauma mentions]

Oof.

Well.

It would be very funny encounter from my perspective and horrifying encounter for my past self xD

I guess religious indoctrination and sheltering, and opposing everything catholic church doesn’t agree with would cause me to cry upon learning "what I’ve gotten myself to". Heck, even if I appeared to myself from year ago, the reaction would be rather hysterical (we would throw hands xjdkwjwj) I wish I could come visit my past self, and show her how dangerous place and mindset she is in… I cannot believe how much progress I’ve actually made since then.

Oh this one’s fun!

…

To be honest, almost none, because my wardrobe didn’t gain any new clothes since when I became comfortable in my sexuality. Mainly because my parents say they don’t want to waste money on clothes and that i already have plenty (which appeal to them, not to me)

But I’m trying to come up with "queer-er" combos and more femme outfits :3

(And combined with a half heart necklace I got as a gift from my love, as well as subtle lesbian colours bracelet, again from her, I feel like I’m presenting comfortably queer to people I allow to read me as queer 🥺 )

(I’m sorry, but despite the seriousness of the matter I can’t help but laugh with joy rn how much this isn’t true anymore)

First time I got met with LGBTQ+ was in negative sense, through few words, as the hugest taboo from words of everyone around me. I saw my friends speaking in the most negative light about celebrities who came out as trans, I heard priests preaching against "gender ideology", my family shook their heads over "western bullcrap", my YouTube page was full of people explaining why being gay is against the Bible and God. It took me too much time to realise how wrong these opinions are and how deep my indoctrination was, it took a lot of long months, a lot of tears but now I feel the safest and best I’ve ever felt in my entire life, it is one of my best decisions I’ve ever done.

Of course! The greatest thanks goes to my love, @the-gay-sailor :3

She did the greatest work in helping me with my deconstruction, and I can’t truly imagine to this day how much patience and kindness, and will it must’ve took to help me so much to accept and love myself for who I truly am…

I love her so much, I’m forever grateful for everything she is… 🥺

And the fact I’m in this community on tumblr has helped me as well, the amount of us queers in the frankenfandom is truly beautiful :]

#lesbian #thank you so much for the ask!!#it feels so beautiful and freeing to be myself #I’m learning to love myself like I never did before #love is beautiful #and so is my love :']#thank you my dearest sailor 🥺#you mean the world to me #tw religious trauma #tw religious abuse #cw religious mention #cw catholicism #cw homophobia #tw homophobia #cw transphobes #tw transphobes #tw mysoginy #deconstruction #apostate stuff #life of struggling agnostic #personal stuff

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