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hihimissamericanbi · 7 months

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hiiii lantern, amber, & quilt please 🍂🎃🧡

Hi 🫦🫴🏼🫴🏼💦 (sorry) (🫦) (sorry)

🎃Lantern: best friend lore

Sorry babe you opened up the floodgates on this one.

I have several best friends and all their lore is remarkable. One of them I've known since I was four and we bonded over our love for spiders and playing dress up and wanting to marry each other instead of boys (ew). One of them introduced my husband and I to each other when we were all fifteen. We've all kept each other all these years and have survived a lot of shit. I quite literally wouldn't be here without her. One of them is my platonic soulmate I met as an adult and she is my James in that, there is no real word for what we are to each other but there doesn't really have to be. There's a lot of choice and intentionality in our relationship.

And this doesn't even cover the iron-clad relationships I have with several other important groups of people, who are all my family in every way that matters.

I have kind of a thing about friendships I think, about not being afraid to commit to them, to let the love in, to make all the long distance work. That's something I've learned about myself in adulthood.

And I think I also have to acknowledge my high school best friend here. We are still friends and love each other very much, but our relationship is different now from what it was fifteen years ago. Sometimes I wish I could tell her she was my first love, and I wish I had had the space and the language to have told her that back then.

😬Amber: Unpopular opinion

I really couldn't care less to debate fandom characterizations so I'll make this about something real bc it's my blog and I care about this.

TW: infertility, pregnancy, family separation, adoption, queer parenthood

I have learned a lot about the realities of the institution of adoption, things I didn't know until I started looking into it after I couldn't have biological children. After literal years of research, therapy, following and listening to the voices of adult adoptees, I largely don't support adoption, at least in the way most Americans/Westerners consider it. I am RABID about the intersectionality between children's liberation and queer liberation, not to mention all the other identities that overlap when you're discussing these topics: race, class, sex, gender, religion, etc.

*THIS POST IS NOT COMING FOR ANYONE I promise. Also, just to spell it out in case there was a shed of doubt, I do not believe a set type of person or people is better suited to raise a family than another. BEING A GOOD PARENT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR GENDER OR ORIENTATION. I just happen to occupy a very unique little corner of the evangelical>infertile>queer agnostic pipeline that gives me unpopular opinions on, say, a lot of adoption tropes in queer fanfic. Tropes i would have seen absolutely nothing wrong with before learning from adoptees. I am thrilled to point people to resources and activists in this space if you would like to learn more. I am also thrilled to ignore/block/delete anyone wanting to have an argument on the godforsaken internet. That's not for this page, pick another one 😊

Tldr: adoption tropes in fic and media in general---epecially baby-on-the-doorstep/infant adoption--is not a viable happily ever after ending for a queer couple to me.

Uh.... next question, I guess??

☕️Quilt: How I take my tea/coffee

Coffee. And it's oatmilk. Not picky but I do love a nespresso with oatmilk or a nitro cold brew with oatmilk. I have also been known to order a cappuccino.

Does anyone even want to play after that dumpsterfire

#this got... very far away from me #ask game #autumn asks #blackberry tag #thank you for indulging me i hope i didnt ruin your entire day with my bullshit #on friendship #finding queerness after infertility #TW adoption #tw infertility

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