#thank you dm for letting them be colorful little guys 10/10 content | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

turtlesforsale · 4 years

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Reopening Commissions!

Please find my *UPDATED* commission list below! Feel free to DM me more more info! I will be using Venmo, Paypal, or the GoFundMe page below, where I will be manually updating all donations from the previous two sources. You can also see the GoFundMe page to see the full story.

Additionally, I know this is not the priority for ANYONE'S money right now, so please don't prioritize this over donating to your local campaigns, volunteer networks, or social justice organizations! But if you want to commission a cool little thing from me, I'll be here.

Thanks, you guys!

COMMISSION/THANK YOU LIST!

For $1, you get my deepest thanks, and a list of things I like about you. I cannot promise the length of this list. Purchase at your own discretion.

For $3, I'll give you a shoutout on 'TBD for IRV'! I love to plug my friends and fellow creators, and I'll happily plug whatever you want as long as it's not like morally abhorrent (ie. racist, sexist, about the Big Bang Theory).

For $5, I will personally curate for you never before seen Remy content, specially created for you and you alone (5 photos or a video).

For $5, I will send you a copy of my album with liner notes! I've never done formal liner notes before...but I'll do it for you, beautiful.

For $10, I will rate you on a scale of 1-to-10 on your "wifely qualities" skill set, as laid out in A Mirror of True Womanhood: A Book of Instruction for Women in the World by Bernard O'Reilly (as laid out in Anne Fadiman's Ex Libris: Confessions of a Common Reader).

For $15, I will write you a 10-15 second song or record a 30-60 second cover song. See my instagram for examples!

For $15, I will paint you a tiny shitty painting for your very own (they're pretty bad)! See my instagram for examples. Will take a few bonus days for shipping.

For $20, I will create you a curated playlist of 12-15 songs on a thumb drive or CD. Will take a few bonus days for shipping, unless you ONLY want it digitally.

For $20, I will do a small tarot reading for you, 3-6 cards in whatever spread you decide. We can do it over FaceTime, via email/texts, or in person (once the plague subsides).

For $30, I will write you a limerick. It can be about anything you want. It will be very silly. Let me know ahead of times if it should be rated PG-13 or below; otherwise, ASSUME CRUDENESS.

For $35, I will do a full tarot reading for you, 7+ cards in whatever spread you decide. We can do it over FaceTime, via email/texts, or in person (once the plague subsides).

For $40, you will have your own FULLY FUNCTIONAL, TURNT, AND UNPARALLELED CUSTOM PLAYLIST from legendary mix tape master, @femmedementhe (bless you).

For $50, I will make you a set of Lucky D&D dice in the basic color of your choosing. We'll choose your color and I will anoint them with a spell of luckiness before sending them your way.

For $50, I will write you a sonnet. It can be about anything you want. It can be Petrarchan or Shakespearean, but if it’s Petrarchan, I won’t like it and you’ll be able to sense that in my tone. So if you want a vaguely pissy sonnet, I’m locked and loaded.

For $69, I will be your middle school wing man. I will pass along messages to your crush. I will find out if they like you. I will for sure be obvious, but I also have no chill, and they don't have to have any idea that this was anyone's idea but man. Honestly, I'm such a mess, and you can bond over that together.

For $75, I will tell you (1) secret. I cannot tell you whose secret it is. I cannot promise the flesh won’t melt off your face when you take the lid off that box. I cannot guarantee it’s true. (Slash I can just write you a sad short film or something idk)

For $100, I will create you a custom secret bookshelf box using of the hollowed out book of your choosing. These can take a little while; try to have a book in mind and we'll make it happen!

For $150, YOU can host an episode of 'TBD with IRV!' I don't know why you'd want to, but you can interview...me? Some other guest you run by me first? Idk, have at it.

For $200, I’ll be willing to send you photographs (10) of my feet. You freaks.

For $500, I’ll write you a full length song. Please be aware that I already have several pending commissions, and this could take some time! Let me know in advance if it's on a time limit!

For $750, I’ll buy you a Nintendo Switch Lite and write my name on it

For $1,000, I’ll let you name my car. This is a very great honor, and I don’t bestow this lightly. If two or more people purchase this option, you will either have to agree on a name, or I’m gonna mind-meld both your names into one mega-name.

For $28,613, I will write you the first draft of a full screenplay. Final draft, including treatment, would be $72,662. Howard Rodman recommends that you become a Guild signatory.This tier is open to negotiation. Have your people reach out to my people. We'll have lunch.

For $1,000,000...I will watch the entirety of the Big Bang Theory. Every goddamn episode. You are buying my very soul.

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fyrapartnersearch · 4 years

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I take off my 20 gallon hat to reveal a more modest 10 gallon hat

howdy, howdy fine folks! shock and surprise, i am looking for a couple of writing partners c: i am 26, she/her, cst, and i work fulltime as well as go to school part-time, so while i cannot promise rapidfire posts, i am becoming better about daily posts! as long as they're relatively short, sweet, and to the point. so, limits/fun factoids about my style/"tl;dr are we compatible?" first: + when reaching out to me, please tell me about yourself and what you're looking for! c: + addendum: i will not respond to messages that don't contain any information about you, your limits, and what you're looking to write or what characters you'd like to use! it doesn't need to be completely fleshed out or even lengthy, thanks! + i'm adaptable and laidback! however, i do not write pedophilia, rape/sexual assault, incest, abusive relationships, romantic large age gaps, nor master x slave. i will not write explicit content with minors either, strongly preferred that you are 21+. + quality is far more valuable than quantity regarding length. i prefer shorter nowadays! those tasty, 1-3 para potato chip rps, so to speak c: + third person only, please +i do like long-term! + i admittedly have a preference for m// lately, so i will likely turn some other pairings down depending on what i am currently already writing! + i prefer writing middle-aged to older farts! they come in all shapes, sizes, colors, identities, and backgrounds! i wholeheartedly welcome the same! + i love ooc chatter! i'd prefer it if you did too, but it's absolutely okay if you're just interested in writing! it is not a dealbreaker + if you're not feeling it or if life happens, that's okay. you are free to either tell me you want a change, drop altogether, or even ghost me! [cravings] + constantly changing! i have a couple of silly nuggets rolling around. mostly fluff with sprinkled angst. + post apocalypse slice of life is also great. with plenty of humor to spare. + something deeply silly about a witch and their familiar

+ anything with werewolves and their human beloved very concerned about the recent furniture chewing phase, and wow is frontline expensive for a 400lb beast.

+ something a bit more rocky, but an old fashioned western physician falling for an outlaw/ sheriff/ rancher, etc. bonus points for post-apoc and western themed. please, i got the perfect ole grizzled doc for this c: [modern] + i love modern, but i am not really looking too intensely for it right now c: i am happy writing about firefighters and lawyers, scientists, military readjusting to civilian life, boring divorced dads who find lifelong love with other divorced dads, fluffy slice-of-life, etc. [(somewhat) historic] + btw, i am not a history buff - so be prepared for anachronisms galore! c: which might mean plumbing and dental care centuries before it was introduced. + noire crime! old grizzled detectives and their partners in crime trying to figure out these gosh dang murders. dang killers, bringing down everyone's vibes. + a detective moving to a podunk old town, with a ~mysterious past~. however, there isn't any mysterious past, the locals just humor the guy and i have a soft spot for the detective falling for the sheriff while constantly heckling him for assistance. + western! please, just... anything western. i love cowboys, ranches, train robberies, just... i will maybe propose if you let me indulge this. [fantasy & monsters] + i am also happy to write fantasy! + fantasy can genuinely be blended into anything, into modern, sci-fi, post apocalyptic, etc. + i am also happy with pure, vanilla, cheesy fantasy - with kings, queens, beautiful warhorses and kingdoms by the sea, and conventionally attractive people with healthy teeth and... far less dysentery. + i am happy to write sci-fi into fantasy - hunters/mercenaries with eyes that can hologram maps and prey, platinum horses made of gaskets and titanium joints who breathe steam, a kingdom in the sky, anything! [... guilty pleasures] + i love the cheesy and humorous things to temper the chaos. love, love, love writing that domestic, usually peaceful, sweet life of two happy people who have been together for ages or just met in their golden years after struggle and just... working for their happy endings. + though i am not usually interested in cheesy, obnoxious tropes... i have a soft spot for two grumpy, gruff guys falling for each other c: [miscellaneous] + this is hardly an exhaustive list of ideas or themes that interest me! if you have something in mind that you do not see, or anything at all, please do let me know! i love brainstorming and hearing ideas c: + note: i love writing with pretty boy archetypes!! but i am inundated with them at the moment in my current threads, bring me yer more grizzled and rough and tough boys! the two characters i have in mind are too old and boring to keep up with pretty, lithe youngins! what characters do i have in mind? plenty! craving two in particular, but i have plenty more in mind if the following two don't catch your interest: + one is svelte, aloof, posh, thoughtful. the very characterization of something like... a sleek, abyssinian cat playing the cello. intriguing, a little odd, an intimidating, coded villain - but really, just socially awkward, and a sweetheart. + the other is beefy, grumpy, and also... a goof at the core. the archetype of an ornery grandpa with the warmest heart and a distinguished grey streak in his hair. both are middle-aged men and adaptable to anything from old-fashioned fantasy, to modern, to sci-fi, to fantasy-modern hybrids, to post apocalyptic. they can be rogues, kings, survivors, lawyers, detectives, chefs, scientists, neighbors, loyal right-hands, guards, anything from protectors and anchors to the village/office boob. i am preferring to write the former gentleman, but i am up to write either, or someone completely different! i am also happy to elaborate upon contact if you are interested! fortunately, each one is more complex than several adjectives and a stereotypical archetype. i'd also love to hear the characters you have in mind! are you interested? well, neat-o! dm me at howdy^3#6518 on discord, hope you're all staying well <3

#oc rp #multiple paragraph #para #semipara #long term #messenger #submission

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charlie--howlett · 6 years

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I was tagged by @spookyboybergara to do a tag. Let’s go.

Rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people. (Yeah Idk 20 peeps)

Last

1. drink- water

2. phone call- prob mom

3. text message- imma say a DM; was the new LP controversy

4. song you listened to- The Immigrant Song by Led Zeppelin

5. time you cried- Last night (finished a show I love)

ever

6. dated someone twice?- HA no

7. kissed someone and regretted it?- Can’t regret something you’ve never done *insert finger guns*

8. been cheated on?- Pretty sure that’s a no

9. lost someone special?- At the time my dad, lots of pets but really no. (Didn’t know her but Carrie Fisher’s death sent me for a loop)

10. been depressed?- This is tumblr. Ofc, everyone has

11. gotten drunk and thrown up?- Uhh no.

fave colours

12. Cerulean blue

13. Like that sunset purple

14. Green I guess??

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends?- One or two

16. fallen out of love?- Not with any person. Things def

17. laughed until you cried?- Multiple times

18. found out someone was talking about you? Don’t get that but prob not

19. met someone who changed you?- Little over a year ago but yeah

20. found out who your friends are?- I’m untrusting so really only have like four people I consider friends

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list?- No Facebook and never kissed

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl?- Once again. No Facebook

23. do you have any pets?- No. :( Want to get a cat soon tho

24. do you want to change your name?- I mean, whenever I do something creative I use a fake name, so kinda?

25. what did you do for your last birthday?-Movies? I think it was Finding Dory

26. what time did you wake up today?- 6:50 for school

27. what were you doing at midnight last night?- Either sleeping or on Avengers Academy

28. what is something you can’t wait for?- If we’re allowed a spooky road trip w/ my best friend this summer

30. what are you listening to right now?- A movie Netflix recommended. “The Ritual” (its shitty)

31. have you ever talked to a person named Tom?- I have no idea

32. something that’s getting on your nerves?- my stupidity in not realizing that I could copy paste this, and I wrote all the questions out to rewrite them on my phone and the fact if I sneeze or cough I get a major headache

33. most visited website- Reddit or Tumblr

34. hair color- Pitch black. I might go red? Don’t know

35. long or short hair- short but shaggy for a guy

36. do you have a crush on someone?- The world may never know. (Idk if it is a crush)

37. what do you like about yourself?- My humor, and I think I’m kind? Plus I might be smart ? Idk

38. want any piercings?- No thank you.

39. blood type- Dk, probably poison though

40. nicknames- fucker (you know who you are), Ev, apperantly Ifan when certain ppl are talking about me

41. relationship status- Single Pringle

42. zodiac- Cancer

43. pronouns- he/him

44. fave tv shows- Parks and Rec, Supernatural, iZombie, The CW superhero shows, Stranger Things, Dexter, Scream. (I’m a generic bitch)

45. tattoos- none atm. Dunno if any ever.

46. right or left handed- Right

47. ever had surgery?- On a very private place

49. sport- hahahahhahaahh no

50, vacation- see above road trip, but fav been on was to Hawaii

51. trainers- black and red tennis/running ironically

more general

52. eating- CHEETOS!!!

53. drinking- Water. Always water

54. i’m about to watch- restart Parks and Rec baby

55. waiting for- Ryan and Shane’s new episode

56. want- Idk I’m pretty content. Permission for trip I guess.

57. get married- Well I sure hope so

58. career- Director or Producer hopefully. Baker or cook if that’s falls out.

which is better

59. hugs or kisses- hugs

60. lips or eyes- eyes

61. younger or older?- Neither. I’m fine where I’m at

63. nice arms or stomach- arms

64. hookup or relationship- relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant- w/ friends trouble maker. Hesitant otherwise

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger- do we really need to keep asking these?

67. drank hard liquor- Nope

68. lost glasses- yeah, but never permanently

69. turned someone down- uhhh I don’t remember but prob not

70. sex on first date- Nope

71. broken someones heart- I don’t think so?

72. had your heart broken- I don’t think so?

73. been arrested- No, but was questioned multiple times for an event

74. cried when someone died- Yes. But now I know he was a grade a dick

75. fallen for a friend- Is this a call out? ...yea

do you believe in

76. yourself- Eh. 50/50

77. miracles- I guess

78. love at first sight- Sure

79. santa claus- I mean I sure hope so

80. kiss on a first date- Go ahead

81. angels- For there to be demons there must be good

other

82. best friends name- Elliot, Manon, Kait, Caitlin

83. eye colour- Black/Deep Brown (not a demon)

84. fave movie- Don’t make me chose my fav child

85. fave actor- Felicia Day mostly

To tag: if you even see this and haven’t done. (Don’t have to though)

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