#tell me why i don't like mondays
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Jako że jest poniedziałek, zima znowu zaskoczyła kierowców, uciekł mi tramwaj, a następny po prostu nie przyjechał, po drodze same wypadki, tylko czekałam co jeszcze się zjebie i nie zawiodłam się oczywiście. A mianowicie w robo nie ma wody. W związku z tym, ani pracownicy, ani petenci nie skorzystają z kibla, nie umyją rąk, ani naczyń, za to wszyscy elegancko zmarzniemy, bo właśnie wysiadło ogrzewanie.
Naczelne szefostwo wpadło na najlepszy pomysł zażegnania kryzysu, o jakim mogliśmy marzyć- NALEŻY NATYCHMIAST ZDJĄĆ TABLICZKI INFORMUJĄCE O BRAKU MOŻLIWOŚCI KORZYSTANIA Z TOALET.
"proszę państwa, sytuacja opanowana, zaraz na parkingu ustawiony zostanie toi toi."
No tak, to rozwiąże sprawę. Zaraz lecę ustawić się w kilkugodzinnej kolejce po chore podwozie, bo przecież wcale nie jest poniżej zera. Weźcie mnie czymcie, bo tak się jakby ździebko wkurwiłam.
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The Alt-Right Playbook: I Hate Mondays
#innuendo studios#thinking in black and white#thoughts and prayers win the race#''there are no systemic problems''#''why should I pay for a few bad apples?''#tell me why I don't like mondays#Youtube
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mmmnnother idea too
#sneak peek#hyperfixation says esau cast in dnd style- but i don't think i'll do em the way i did nezha's doodle cuz that was a horrible way of shading#at least for me personally KEKW-#emelin rambles#to bed i go#i wanna try sleepin early for once#also i find it funny how as a dental tech i know why my jaw is hurting rn#muscle stress would be my guess cuz it's just the side of my jaw around the area of my left mandibular condyle#so i'm currently tryna force myself to physically relax more to try get rid of it quicker cuz it's annoying when tryna eat at times#also i was at an info meeting about a study some university students wanna do with autists regarding noise cancelling headphones#was hilarious considering i immediately began to critique the way the meeting went by telling my psychologist about#how they had the audacity to give a full group of diagnosed autists the OPTION to pick between showing up on a monday or tuesday#cuz we were all fuckin confused and one girl even had to ask like 2-3 times about how tf this would work and when we're supposed to come in#like how dare you tell us we can pick a day- that sparked so much lowkey panic and i could tell by the confusion of all- including myself#just give us a solid day DHFNDFHNDHFGNHDGH
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Well, I log onto Tumblr and walk right into "I'm not happy that girl saved tourists from a tsunami," an argument over how to have culture and a bunch of fandoms I don't know.
Hellsite living up to its name this Monday!
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I'm feeling very mentally/emotionally down lately
#;babbling phia#I'm looking forward going to work on monday#because it distracts me from overthinking#and then when I'm at work I distract myself with tumblr lol#which isn't really better#I'm in a very weird phase in which I compare myself to others#'oh they're better in life' 'oh their selfship is better than mine' 'oh they have so much more progress in art'#I know it's... all just my brain trying to tell me this and it's stupid#also Idk why but I feel so so so unworthy of having an oc x canon ship with Wrio lately#like he seems so popular#there are far better ships with him#I don't deserve liking him so much#which is stupid I know#I try to hype myself up by thinking about Wrio and Elowyn's story more#which I LOVE#but sometimes the doubts re strong#agh I'm sure it's just a winter depression thing it will go away eventually#will try to work more on an art trade today#and play lots of g.enshin#with Wrio bc he will stay on my team forever regardless what my mind is telling me >:[#tw negative#;vent#(I don't have a tag for this yet)#delete later
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work one month as a service worker and see how they don't even want to pay you for your work
#rena.txt#LITERALLY GOING CRAZY WHERE TF ARE MY MONEY!!!!!!!!!!#it's not even a problem of the owner. the girl that acts as a boss literally told me she forgot about having to tell the owner to pay me 💀#and i had to text her about this on monday and she said yea sorry i will let you know when you can come asap AND SHE STILL DIDN'T TELL ME#ANYTHING. like i was already supposed to get paid at the end of july and now we will reach mid august..bro :///////#like i don't want to think ill of this girl but. IT'S TWO TIMES ALREADY THAT U FORGOT NOW. i even told her give me the number of the owner#and i'll ask him myself and she ignored that. girl if your memory is so shitty let me handle it#i'll have to show up to the place when he's around but it's nearly impossible to catch this guy at the bar. I'M LOSING MY MIND#i can't wait to find him and make him and this girl look like 2 fucking clowns bc i KNOW the guy is a bonaccione. the problem is that woman.#this shit can't be real why me fr
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Can my body stop hurting?!! Like I know, I'm hungry. I know I need food. But if I eat, it just comes back up because my body won't keep anything down. So why the hell does my body insist on making me feel my stomach do the thing! I want to be able to eat. I want to! I'm so tired of throwing up.
#i just#want answers#but there don't seem to be any#and i can't call the doctor until Monday#I'm so tired of this#I'm sure my teeth are getting damaged from all the stomach acid#and i can't trust that i won't shit myself because of how often i have diarrhea#i feel like my body is shutting down but no one will acknowledge it or tell me why#and i haven't been able to keep my psych meds down for days now so I'm likely to start spiraling there too#literally the only thing going well is my class#if this is the price for academic success i don't want to pay it#how the hell did i even get here#anyway#drink water you heathens
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girl help three bad days have got me seriously considering switching schools again
#this is the awful thing about my brain#i have one (1) bad experience and i'm immediately like GET ME OUT I NEED TO BE SOMEWHERE ELSE PERMANENTLY#it's why i've almost never made it through a full term of summer camp#i'm sure i'll wake up on monday and realize better (much better) academics are probably not worth. all the downsides#but for now it's not fun#i also know theater tech starting again will make me feel like i have more of a place but i don't WANT to rely on theater tech again#that was supposed to be for freshman year while i was still figuring everything out THIS year i was supposed to LIKE my CLASSES#every class is honors or ap. and i genuinely cannot tell the difference#i need to be somewhere that wants me to try i need it so so so bad#but bad enough to literally uproot my entire life??? god i hate being in high school so so so much#can we move past it??? now?? please??#i'm ready for the next thing. please and thank you.#sorry sorry sorry the average teenage angst is not fucking letting up
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stupid stupid stupid stupid I am so fucking stupid
(LONG rant in the tags. originally a little longer still but apparently there were too many tags so tumblr deleted the rest lol)
#ahahahaha so i applied for a (fixed-period) job that was like. right up my alley?#and i was one of the two applicants and they invited me to a Teams interview which was supposed to be last monday#but when i heard the other applicant is someone who's been working for them for the past semester i was like 🤡#hmmmm i do wonder which one of us they'll hire!! 🙂#and i was crushed because why can't things go my way for once#being a job-seeker in this area on my field is so stressful and depressing if you don't have the right connections#so i cancelled the interview with an email on the morning of the interview#because i just couldn't motivate myself to go even for practice. i just couldn't#i did consider calling the place and asking if the sitauation was like i suspected#but i didn't because i am not a fully functional adult ✌️🤷♀️#well. today i noticed that they have opened the position again 🤡#which means that for one reason or another they're not going to hire the person who's been doing that exact job for them before?#and now i'm crying because lmao what kind of impression i'll be giving of myself#if i call them now and tell them why i cancelled the interview?#''yeah so i stood you up because i'm a hardened pessimist and thought i had no chance pls hire me lol''#who's gonna want to hire a loser like this 🙃 a loser who couldn't even bother calling them like a normal adult would've#and also what if my employment agency finds out i didn't go to the interview? they could cancel my allowance ahahahahahAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAA#god i hate being unemployed and i hate job seeking so much it hurts#my self-confidence is nowhere near it should be if you were actually to do well in job interviews etc.#''why do you think you'd be good for this job?'' I'M NOT! YOU'LL BE DEFINITELY BETTER OFF HIRING ANYONE ELSE!!#and some people's advice for job interviews be like ''just be yourself!'' like honey no#if i'm myself at a job interview absolutely no one's gonna want me ahaha#job-seeking is just so fucking crushing and humiliating#like. when you're studying and you have an exam? you can study for it as hard as you can and try to do your best#and you'll get the grade you deserve. if someone gets the highest grade it doesn't effect YOUR chance to get the highest grade as well#but when applying for a job? you can write a splendid application text and answer the interview questions as best as you can#but if there's another applicant that's significantly more qualified or experienced than you they WILL be hired over you#so you can try your best and IT'S STILL NOT ENOUGH#and that's why i didn't go to the job interview. because i wanted to protect myself from that heartbreak again#doing the best i can and still not getting the job
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school madness
#drama is happening in the school AND I AM IN ON IT RN‼️‼️‼️ /POS IM ABOUT TO RALLY WITH THE ADMINS RAAAUUAWWWWRR#OKAY SO LIKE?!?????!!!!!!!!#our exams are on monday#but not all of the teachers really had their chance to cover all the lessons for us to tackle for the reasons being:#1) the school loves extracurricular activities#2) national holidays (but this is understandable)#3) THEY WANT OUR FUCKING CLEARANCES SIGNED!!!!! SHOULDN'T THAT SHIT BE DONE /AFTER/ EXAMS?????#MF NO CLEARANCE NO EXAM EXCUSE MEEEEEEE YOU EXPECT LIKE 1K STUDENTS TO GO SCRAMBLE AROUND THE SCHOOL ASKING FOR SIGNATURES#youre pushing them to finish getting the admin signatures first RATHER than telling them to study for the exams??? and you tell me#OHH FINISH THE CLEARANCE FIRST BEFORE THE EXAMS#anyways the students and my class adviser (not an admin) are rallying to reschedule the exam for another week because this is bullshit#last school year our exams were transfered to january!!! why cant we do that last time!!!!!!!!!!#and it was okay!!!!!!!!#im like#mad and tired and fuckin OAUUAAHH#usually i feel thr urgent need to study to be prepared for the exams BUT I DON'T FEEL THE URGENCY BECAUSE WE WERENT TAUGHT PROPERLU 😭😭#my complaining isnt even filled to my satisfaction i still have so much more to complain about ohmymgoiooodd#eugh whatever i literally walked out today to get my clearance signed (30% complete 😭 its not easy to get signatures) im gonna go write#absolute bullcrap i tel you#this week has been hell
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"Mondays. Am I right?!?"
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jobs r evil job offers are evil figuring out what you want to do is EVIL
#Did an interview Monday got a job offer today and I'm going to say NO but like. Feels bad.#Also like. Their candidates must have fucking sucked cuz he told me 2 wks#I'm like. Can I justify fucking off and doing language study.... I'm like truly no good#And tests stress me out...#But I could be good :(#Literally just want to ***#Why didn't I apply to grad school. I would kill grad school#Well that's easy. Cuz I don't know wtf to go to grad school in.#And need more language for it.#Please tell. Me why I can't imagine a tolerable career.#This is so minor but if it emotionally prevents me from finishing my fic tonight I'm gonna b so fucking bummed
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mmm
brain and eyes need to agree on whether we’re tired enough to sleep right now
#my eyes are barely staying open but my brain is not interested in the concept of sleep#i mean i guess it did mean i stayed awake long enough to remember to do a grad school loan paperwork thing#which was due by monday and there was a better than even chance i would not have remembered it by then#(i wouldn't have lost my loan i would've just ended up taking the full amount when i don't need to)#also as my brain wandered around and ignored me trying to tell it to sleep#i started thinking about caine's p5 playthrough and was like 'man i'm so glad they've met haru haru is great'#and then i remembered the voice i gave her for when i'm reading out text messages#and i just keep laughing about it in like a sad desperate way#like i'm glad i gave her this particular voice because i will not forget it (which is good cuz we're taking a break for a little while)#but also........ why did i do that to myself#anyway welcome back to an old school tag essay from yours truly#where i just sit and ramble for forever because sleep refuses to happen
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i have cried at work 2 days in a row this week. i love having a job:)
#i genuinely only have a day left in this department and my manager here was set on ruining my week#i genuinely had a report assigned to me out of the blue yesterday despite the fact that i asked whether i would need to submit anything#when i left this department#like i hate nothing more than a change of plans last minute and i cannot explain how frustrating this rotation has been because#the people here just don't want tk actually help me like everytime i ask for something they're like sure and then never do the thing?#like I'd not going to treat grown adults with kids like children and repeatedly ask them for the same shit#anyway so i get this report given to me and i haven't even had a chance to read through any other reports just so i have context#so i spent like 6 hours post work yesterday figuring the reports out using a template i literally only got from a coworker who isn't#even in this department so like this department continues to be fucking useless#so i spend my night working on this so i could have it done by 8 this morning and then i sent it to the manager#only for him to say its not what he wanted from me which like how would i have known what he wanted since he didn't fucking tell me#like ask for a failure investigation report and i gave you a failure investigation report#he now says he wanted me to research and explain the failure mechanism and describe it's process?????#like hello why didn't you fucking say that#i'm genuinely so pissed i've wasted so much time on this when i have an evaluation practice session on monday#anyway am i a crybaby? maybe but i just don't like having shit sprung up on me with poorly explained scopes because it's a waste of time#should this have gone into my journal? maybe#do i care? no
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Fuckin slept through my alarms bc I was havin a weird dream
#dreamin i was like extremely pregnant at my grandparents funeral and like tryin to ignore bein in labor#bc who goes into labor at their grandparents funeral like both of them#I know why I'm having these dream my Grandpa had a health scare Monday Also#my birthday is like in a month.#And I'm gonna be 27. That's a year older than my mom was when she had me. So it's like have I missed a life milestone or somthnI don't know#Have I missed life? I don't really believe that#but like some part of my christian upbringing is very insistent.#that im missing something Because I'm almost 30 and haven't had kids haven't had it found husband and don't have kids yet.#Really hate that Christian voice in the back of my head and telling me. I need to set down and have kids. And this isn't that I don't even#Want to get pregnant? I don't think like I kind of scares me. I mean#Part of me wants to have a kid if I get pregnant and have a kid. But realistically I know that's not a great idea.#ritalks#tbh that tag should be riovershares
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listen. I know my family is bad at communication and acknowledgement of receipt of Thing but when the one thing that consistently happens semi-annually is that I get fussed at for not confirming I received something, it irks me a smidge.
Like if I'm expected to always confirm "Hey I got your [communication/gift]" then why aren't they doing it back? Especially considering the communication in this instance has really actually very important information they will want to know if they want to stay in contact with me.
Like????
Even if I'd just gotten a "K" in response, like. at least it would have let me know they got the damn thing. I sent this email TWO WEEKS AGO and only one person responded - and it was practically immediate too. Like... i know folks are busy, i know shit's going on. I get it. But it would help me feel so much less like I'm suddenly a pariah in the family out of nowhere if like one of the people I'd sent this to had just responded in some way shape or form.
I'd have answered a phone call - i wouldn't have liked it, but i'd have done it. A letter in the mail to my current address even. a message in a bottle probably wouldn't get to me because i'm pretty far from the beaches of the great lakes, and also they're even farther, but like. something right?
my sister at least confirmed she got it and just forgot to respond. i imagine that's what happened with everyone else because we have the same mental illnesses and look. i do it too. but also? also?? i was hounded to respond quickly to things, i was told off every time i wasn't responding within a half hour of any communication. I was asked instantly the next time they saw me if I'd gotten it, even if i hadn't had a chance to see the thing yet.
So forgive me, family, if I'm a little peeved off that all y'all are allowed to "forget to respond" for two whole fucking weeks and then a few extra days (because it's been 2 weeks, 3 days exactly) when i can't let something sit in the mailbox for 2 days because i couldn't get to my mailbox easily while living on my own without getting a phone call or text or email that there should be something waiting in there for me.
*enraged screeching*
#literally the deadline i gave them for my address change was Monday#technically they have until the 8th but i didn't give them that room because i feared they'd use it#and my birthday is this upcoming week and like. idk i was kind of looking forward to maybe getting a card or two perhaps that's silly of me#to look forward to receiving specifically birthday correspondence for my birthday idk man#like i don't have a lot of space to judge i'm also really bad at keeping up lines of communication but when someone sends you#an update with a deadline about when they're moving and to where exactly#and also a big update on a health issue that like. they've mentioned MULTIPLE times#it's generally considered courteous to at least SAY YOU RECEIVED THE MESSAGE even if you didn't have a chance to read the whole thing yet#like????????#angry i am so angry#like yay my sister responded to the text IT TOOK 2 WEEKS AND ME POKING HER ABOUT IT#again i know. i know people are busy and have other things going on#why did *I* have to be the one who came up with work arounds and ways to avoid doing this to other people when no one else does it for me?#why was *I* the one always getting fussed at and told off and lectured about how rude i was for not getting back to people in a timelymanne#but it's fine for them to IGNORE ME FOR 2 FUCKING WEEKS#like fuck *off* with that bullshit i'm so fucking.........#i mean it. about the others. if my grandparents i sent this to and my other aunt don't respond they don't get any more updates on me#i don't tell them when i move next or where i've gone. if i change my phone number again they don't get it.#like. if you're not going to do me the courtesy of saying ''i got your message you sent''#AFTER I'VE SENT A FOLLOW UP TWO WEEKS LATER#then you don't get to stay in touch because you clearly do not care about it.#....i already feel like i'm extremely unwantable and like no one will ever desire to stick with me long term#having the family members i spent the majority of my life being around not respond to me does not help that#the SINGULAR person in a whole list of recipients who responded quickly (and also thoroughly but that was *wholly* unexpected)#was someone I barely got a chance to know when I was young because of weird family drama I don't care about#because it doesn't fucking matter y'all are adults now act like it#like. the most supportive member of my family is a woman i thought disliked me on principle because i was my father's child#and it turns out no it's my dad who's the fucked up one who judged her children just because they were hers#cause he hates his sister for some fucking reason.#when she's genuinely the nicest and kindest person i've ever met in my whole family like???
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