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baronvontribble · 6 years

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Original drabble, pt. 4

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AW YE LET’S GO

The voice the AI ended up picking in the intervening hours between one day and the next wasn't inherently all that interesting. It was a low, smooth baritone, but beyond that it was relatively nondescript as voices went. The audio quality made it even more bland, with a poor range that didn't have any extra phonemes programmed in for different pitches alongside the standard tinny, echoing sound that came from having been recorded in someone's bedroom on a cheap microphone with no soundproofing.

"That would be the point," the AI told him. "It's impossible to read any kind of voice imprint in sound quality this bad."

As for the tuning, that was another matter entirely.

The perks of letting an AI tune its own voice on the fly instead of having a comparatively simple secondary program do it were obvious to Ted; the AI is made to do much larger calculations, so the slight randomization involved in making a voice sound realistic as opposed to it sounding like a recording had more room for subtlety and nuance. In many commercial and consumer androids, this was glossed over because it wasn't necessary - the vocal capability often being delegated to a secondary program anyway just to save space - but for the ones that had to perform any kind of public service, the subtlety and nuance were a key component of interacting with humanity, right up there with being able to read a room and adjust their body language and express themselves in ways humans could be comfortable with.

Seeing as Ted had a lot of experience with those kinds of androids in his day-to-day life, he wasn't unfamiliar with that ability. But usually those androids were nurses, doctors, secretaries, social workers. Not the ones he usually worked with as part of the pipeline, because taking them out of society was seen as too risky, and the ones that did come through were all too quickly snatched up by the goons overseeing product recalls. They rarely made it all the way to screening.

This time, he hadn't been able to suppress the shiver that went up his spine upon first hearing that kind of tuning coming from a shitty voicebank installed on one of his own home computers. It was an uncanny sort of feeling, a crawl under his skin at how odd it was. He thought he'd gotten over that years ago, but apparently he hadn't. This AI, with his dry vocal delivery and subtle expressiveness, had one of the most human voices Ted had ever heard, while also having one of the most inhuman voices he'd ever heard.

He was having a hard time getting used to it.

"Did you know the labels on the phonemes in this don't actually match up with the sounds they're supposed to make?" the AI continued. "There's a lot I'm just not rendering because the waveforms don't match up. I have it muted so you don't have to hear it, but it gets bad enough that my speech recognition programming doesn't even register that I've made words."

"Sounds frustrating," Ted mused.

"It is. There's also a minor memory leak in the software. The longest I can keep it open is two hours, five minutes, and fifty eight seconds."

"Could install it on the desktop?"

"Then I'd have to deal with the memory leak," the AI said as if it were the most distasteful thing in the world, and Ted snorted. The guy had a point; yeah, the laptop didn't have all that much memory to begin with, but at least it didn't risk the desktop overheating. That laptop was kind of a piece of shit anyway (and Ted never kept anything important on it to begin with so he wouldn't miss it too much if it died) so it wasn't a risk to the AI's personal safety.

Besides, as much as Ted wanted to poke fun at how fussy the AI was, he understood the concept of being fragile. "You'll be alright when I go to work, right?" he had to ask. "Got everything you need?"

"Yes."

"I could download some games for you before I go if you want."

"Why would I want that?"

Ted shrugged his shoulders as he stretched in his chair. "Dunno. Just thought you might be into that kinda thing."

"No. I'm not."

He supposed that did make some sense. An AI that had no way of experiencing things except from the inside of a computer had no use for anything but algorithms and data, and how much of the experience of a game was wrapped up in its graphical user interface and the joy of playing it? Even so, kinda harsh. "Not even for the writing?" he asked, standing up and moving to pull on his coat.

"The objective of any game is completing it with the best possible outcome," came the reply. "Writing has no effect on that."

"What if the writing tells you that what's technically the best possible outcome is something you can only get to by being an asshole?"

"Then it's a bad game that defines its outcomes poorly," the AI said, sounding like he didn't want to continue the conversation. Ted decided not to press it. "I have everything I need. Just come back with a camera and don't die."

Ted had to laugh again at that, fixing the fastenings on his coat and making sure that his phone and keys were in his pockets. "Don't die, huh?"

"Humans are breakable. I saw the weather report, I think I'm justified in having my concerns."

"Aw, you really do care."

"It's self-preservation. I'm dependent on you right now."

Ted was still chuckling about that one even as he left the apartment, the laughter only tapering off after he was well on his way down the stairs. From there, it was only a short walk to the bus, as it was in any sensibly put-together major city, and he made his way to work feeling lighter than he had in a long time.

It wasn't supposed to be easy to talk to an AI. Everyone made it out to be like some chore, where not following a script got you into 'your query falls outside my preprogrammed parameters, would you like to ask another question' territory. And a lot of times, it was. Most people couldn't afford a fancy AI like that for their robots. Android bodies were cheap if you had access to a 3D printer and some decent schematics, but the programming? That was proprietary. Expensive. Sometimes it was so fancy that it took proprietary hardware to even run it, the kinda shit you'd get out of a catalog with the prices of all the bells and whistles tucked away in fine print that was a milimeter high.

That was why it was usually limited to government entities, or big corporations, or other places that could really afford the fancy shit. Someone like Ted? He didn't even have unfettered access to a 3D printer. Best he could get beyond the basics of a good personal computer was one of those minidroids, the 9 inch high ones that were just smart enough to tell you what was in your inbox when you got up to go to work. Even then he'd probably get it secondhand...

He was in the process of sitting down in one of his more usual seats at the back of the bus when his thoughts were interrupted by a buzz from his pocket.

> I found your messaging handle.

Ted rolled his eyes at the screenname that came up. NotARobot. Christ.

you are the most unsubtle person to ever exist <

> It asked if I'm a robot when I was making this account. Technically, I'm not a robot at the moment.

> At least for a given definition of what the word "robot" means.

> Did you leave your messenger logged in on your laptop on purpose?

honestly? i forgot <

it goes into the background process pile when it isnt actively open <

so thats an easy thing to do <

> Why are your messages like that?

like what <

> Like that.

im lazy <

and i turned autocorrect off <

it bugged me <

> Turn it back on then.

nope <

> Why.

cause i dont wanna :P <

> This is cruel and unusual punishment. It's against the Geneva Conventions to treat me like this.

get used to it <

besides <

not like i can break the law any worse <

> You're a horrible person.

> I'm going to reorganize all of your files just for that.

> All of them.

lol alright <

gotta go to work now l8r <3 <

> Don't you send hearts at me.

> Ted.

> Why did you send me a heart?

> Hearts don't even look like that.

> Stop ignoring me.

> Fine, I'll ignore you too.

> Ted, did you die?

> Please don't die. You're not allowed.

> I have concerns about this "going to work" thing.

> For one thing, it's inadvisable for a human to be out in these temperatures for a significant amount of time.

> You're still ignoring me, aren't you?

at work <

hard to shelve books n text :P <

sup? <

> How long does this work take?

a while. why <

gotta get a camera after this 2 remember <

are you worried about me <

> No.

thats adorable <

> I am not "adorable" by any definition.

tell u what <

boot up my ebook app <

go read everything i have loaded onto it <

come back to me w/ what u think <

i wanna see some thoughts on at least one book by lunchtime <

> Fine.

aight cool l8r then <

> I'm starting with the most recent download. It's called "The Left Hand of Darkness" and I have no idea what that's supposed to mean.

> That is not how neutral pronouns work.

> This is bad science.

> I suppose that's one way of explaining the Fermi Paradox but it's still bad science.

> Just looked it up. Secondary sexual characteristics do not work that way.

> Ted.

> Ted, why did he have to die.

> That ending was absolutely pointless.

> Your books are badly written and don't make any sense.

> Are all of your books like this?

> I refuse to read any more books until I have confirmation that they're not all like this.

lol <

> Don't laugh at me.

keep reading <

> That's not an answer.

> Fine, I'll read another one.

<3? <

> You're still a horrible person.

#no one cares andy #original writing #original characters #robot and marshmallow #ted: hey hey read this book #AI: *reads it* I HATE YOU THIS BOOK MADE ME FEEL THINGS AND THAT'S NOT OKAY #ted: lol 8D

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shelli-gator · 3 years

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Before I pass out for the night, I have another AU proposition for yall.

AHKJ Pirate AU!

I have been listening to The Wellerman sea shanty too much lol.

But basically, in this AU UKJ proposes that prince Julien ventures off to find a new island to colonize for the kingdom. Julien is 100% keen, and wrangles together a team of would-be sailors as his crew.

And to make sure Julien's gone for good, UKJ hires a team of pirate mercenaries to take him out. One of these pirates happens to be Pancho.

Pancho and his crew launch their attack on Juliens fleet, but when Clover and the others put up more of a fight than they bargained for Pancho's crew abandons him (Andy never changes). Clover is keen to make a brutal example of him, but Julien admires the crowned lemur pirates sailing skills, and chooses to rather force him to join them and navigate/sail for them. This is much to the chagrin of Mort, who even as the Dread Pirate mostly gets ignored by Julien.

Pancho joins willingly, but to him this is an excellent way to still finish is his job. Under the pretense of navigating them to a bountiful promise land, he keeps purposefully leading them through dangerous terroritories. Mort can tell they are being led astray, but Julien refuses to listen to him. Julien also loves the danger, all he sees is fun, adventure, and legendary victories that will make him go down in history. Clover and Maurice try to tell him something about this seems off to them too, but Clover, in spite of her better judgment, is also loving these daring and violent adventures. Krakens? Ghost ships? Sirens? She loves it, as much as she tries to hide it.

Of course, Pancho's going to have a change of heart as he finds the loyal family he's always wanted in the prince and his new friends, more priceless than any reward UKJ could offer him. There's drama, but he's forgiven in the end.

I just desperately want the leems to sing sea shanties together, with naval outfits and pirate gear. Picture Pancho with ear piercings and an open peasant shirt! And a scimitar!

Also I want them to sing The Wellerman song and The Rocky Road to Dublin. 🥺 Willie starts humming a tune they find familiar, and Pancho, Horst and Ted join in until the whole crew is singing and Julien's like 8D because this is exactly the sort of fun he's always wanted for his people without his uncle getting in the way.

Also loving the thought of Julien paying for a captain to sail for them, only for something like this to go down.

Captain: *stops Clover, Dorothy and Becca from getting on board* Oh no, this ain't part of me contract. Tis bad luck te have females aboard a ship.

Clover: Oh! So sorry, let me just- *immediately decks this guy in the face, launches him into the next century* How's that for luck, fucking- *goes off in a colourful tirade*

Julien: Nice one Clover, RESPECT. But also, eh, HELLO? We needed him!

Mort: I can help your majesty!

Julien: Who said you could come?!

#ahkj #ahkj au #all hail king julien #pirate au #sea shanties #lets heckin do it #pirate pancho!#Spotify

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nioiidama · 5 years

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::drops her url::

URL TED TALK // always accepting

@ka-go-me | | 緑希望 | |ALGEBRA DEMONS

My Opinion on;

Character in general: i had a hard time with kagome when i first watched the anime ( yes I watched the anime before reading the manga – FOR SHAAAMMME lol jk ) but the older i got the more i began to realize how relateable she WAS as a character. AND THEN i read the manga and got to see even MOFE of the characters, their dynamics and the unfiltered story. but i don’t think i started to actually love kagome until i came to tumblr though. seeing her through the eyes of those who adored her much more than the manga could ever portray. in ways unique and special and in such new diverse ways !!

How they play them: I LOVE LOVE LOVE how you portray her !! you capture her innocence, her maturity, and her SPARK so artfully !! too easily i can focus on your replies and see it play out in my head and hear her voice in my head… maybe thats because I’ve been reading so much manga w the anime running in the bg ( BC THE PUPS ARE WATCHING IT TOO & I AM SO PROUD fhdlfdgje )

The Mun: THE MEGA !!! I love Meghan, like I could just sit and watch her do things and write stuff and post pretty things – ALL DAY !! 8D

Do I:

RP with them: Absolutely Want to RP with them: ALL THE TIME !!

What is my;

Overall Opinion: 100000/10 WOULD LOVE IN ANY UNIVERSE

**Note: Mun’s answer are all to be completely honest. Don’t send url if you don’t want brutal honesty

#V: MAIN - 自宅待機 #oOc :: (ง'̀-'́)ง T.HANDBOOK ⁽ 太宰家庭 ⁾ : : Ningyō-shi !#ka-go-me

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archieism · 5 years

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is Titans good?

yesss yesyes. i think so, anyway. but i never read the comics growing up(poverty yay x), and the closest i got was the old cartoon network or whatever teen titans show that used to air when i was a lil munchkin.

because of that, i kinda just judged titans on its own, maybe what little i remembered about the show adding to my perspective, but i couldn’t remember a lot; mostly just powers/characters, so i was mostly going in without any expectations beyond the bare minimum ~teen titans~ brand. i can’t speak for how accurate it is to the comics (i imagine not very so lol), but isolated, i think it’s pretty good.

but even if there wasn’t that aspect to complicate things, fair warning, it’s kinda dark? not super dark (at least to my standards), but kinda gory at times, pretty violent, rated TV-MA, etc etc, so if that’s not to your tastes, this probably isn’t the show for you lol, regardless of comics comparison.

BUT if that doesn’t faze you, i would 10/10 recommend :D though only half a season has aired as of now in total, i love it so far. the plot isn’t like bad or anything but i wouldn’t claim it’s anything mindblowing either lol, but as long as the characters are solid, i usually don’t mind if the plot is lacking as long as it isn’t horrible, and i fell in love with pretty much all the main characters almost instantly (@ kori ;-;), so. yeah, i like it sjdjsd. i also just love shows that have the whole juxtaposition of dark and/or violent coupled with cute or wholesome character dynamics, (@ dirk gently’s holistic detention agency TT~TT also, sense8) especially with a found family sort of feel, so this show was right up my alley. i would give an arm and a leg for the core fore (+ jason todd ofc uwu) of this show in a heartbeat.

so all in all, if the rating and reasons therein don’t faze you and you haven’t read the comics lol, you’ll maybe possibly actually might like titans, or mayhaps even love it. like moi 8D

ur question was literally three words long and i wrote a mini essay, thank u for coming to my ted talk

#i'm so annoying omg #my mind!#bless u for asking tho anon xoxo #answered asks #titans #mine

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