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snz-eriya · 3 years

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wait u like tears of themis i haven't found anyone else on snzblr who does 😳

do u have any snz hcs for them i would love to hear !!!

OMG ANON thank you for validating me 😭

headcanons under the cut!!

artem ⚖️

- constantly gives lectures about not working when sick, works when sick himself

- somehow manages to stay fairly healthy, despite his incredibly unhealthy lifestyle

- but he's still pretty dumb when he does get sick

- he's probably gone to court before with a high grade fever

- celestine watches like a disappointed mother, and sends him straight home because lord knows he won't rest otherwise

- when he's sick, it usually settles in his chest, doesn't really sneeze that often. if he does, it's one and it's done

- except for the fact that he's allergic to perfume. like, one sniff and he's set off for the next few hours

- celestine came in with a new perfume one day and artem was in his office forever, barely getting anything done because he kept sneezing instead of working

- he's got the dad sneeze. softer than the typical dad sneeze, but still a dad sneeze ("hhUUu'sHHRsh!")

- he usually muffles with his arm, he's polite. but everyone in a 5 mile radius immediately knows who that sound came from

- yes, he is very embarrassed about this fact and therefore tries to avoid sneezing whenever possible

luke 🔍

- we already know he's sick and dying, but that doesn't mean he's at all open about any minor illnesses

- he'd rather end up in the hospital and die early than have anyone worry about him in the present

- he's pretty susceptible to a lot of bugs that go around, like 9/10 times if someone coughs on him he's down for the count the next day

- it's a good thing he works for himself!! no one can send him home!!!

- except mc. she sends him home.

- he gets REALLY bad fevers and aches. moving feels like hell, but he pushes through it regardless

- like artem, doesn't sneeze very often when he's sick. usually just quiet one-offs or some fits if it's a headcold

- ironically because of his career as a detective, he's VERY allergic to dust

- this has led to some rather interesting commissions and investigations, especially during stealth missions

- yes, he has had to go through swh scenarios

- because of this, he's used to stifling whether alone or not. it makes a lot of people confused because he's luke?? he's supposed to be loud??? ("hh'gnxt!")

- he honestly forgot how to sneeze normally. he can stifle hands-free, the madman

- also he has fits of like, anywhere from 2-8. it's like rolling a dice

vyn ⚕️

- he's a doctor. not a physician doctor, but he still follows the trope of "doctors never get sick"

- probably because he isolates at any possible sign that he's getting sick and gets better in like 2 days. it's scary.

- though in the comfort and safety of his own home he practically sneezes up a storm, he's got nothing to hide with nobody there.

- he's very dignified, even when sneezing. it's so soft and quiet, it almost sounds fake ("hhih'tchh!")

- always in fits of 3. always.

- no one has ever seen him less than in perfect health, so imagining him in any unsophisticated state is practically unheard of.

- rumor has it, only one miss lawyer has ever managed to see him in such a sorry state...~

- he's mostly free of the confines of allergies, which is good because he has a garden he actively cares for

- except for daises. keep those away from him. trust me.

- he also has a handkerchief collection

marius ♾️

(mari's my bias so I'm so sorry if he ends up with more hcs than the others 🙏)

- "I'm marius von hagen! I never get sick, I'm practically invincible!!!"

- technically he's right, no kind of bug or cold going around gets to him. it's the weather that does him in instead.

- he's gotten stuck in the rain and fallen ill within hours, more times than he'd care to say

- even if he doesn't get sick from the cold, he's really sensitive to it regardless. it's not uncommon for him to sneeze when it's cold out

- he used to be more whiny about it, to whoever was designated his caretaker at the time. his brother, usually. nowadays though, since he's the ceo of the biggest company in the world, he doesn't really have time to stop and rest.

- he doesn't really care how other people see him, so if he ends up sneezing or coughing during a meeting, he'll just excuse himself and keep going

- at the end of the day though, he's dead on his feet and sleeps like a rock

- he has breathy sneezes, usually just one and done. sometimes two in a row. ("hhuH'Sshiu!")

- he doesn't cover unless it's a business meeting, which earns him many "marius. von. hagen."s

- he doesn't give a shit around nxx, which irks literally everyone in the room

- he's allergic to cats. yes, this upsets him. he loved that chonky boy.

#tears of sneezus #snz #eri writes

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