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#supressing everything ....
thegreatidk · 5 months
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My biggest beef with the way Annabeth was written in the show is that I think Rick fell into his own trap. Like his whole thing with Annabeth is that just because someone doesn’t look smart doesn’t mean they aren’t. And while it’s about their literal looks for both the show and the book, book Annabeth also sometimes acted in ways that people wouldn’t stereotypically associate with “smart” because I think we’ve all be condition to think bbc sherlock no emotions genius is the only way to be smart. Book Annabeth acts super flustered around Luke because she's a kid and she has a crush on him, she's afraid of spiders, and wanted to see the arch just because she thought it was cool. In general book Annabeth is allowed to be sillier and have a wider range of emotions than show Annabeth without it detracting from the fact that Annabeth is smart. I find this whole "stoic genius" idea is often used to put down teenage girls for being dumb and superficial just because they show emotions and the only way to beat it is to be cold, calculating, and emotionless and most people just aren't like that.
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sciderman · 7 months
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Were Peter and Harry properly a thing? Or was it more of a spur of the moment hook-up?
in 9319? it was just two sordid nights – and sweet, sweet lingering trauma...
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harry so nice, peter had to have it twice.
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puppyeared · 4 months
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they could make a new we didnt start a fire song with the amount of dystopian fuckery going on
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1o1percentmilk · 4 months
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i want to tell u guys abt my weredog oc... hes like if patrick bateman sucked and wasnt a nepo baby and worked a middling dead end office job..i give all of my trauma and worries and fears to him about fitting in and not getting to have an impact and yet not having the personal strength to make things better,
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bunnihearted · 5 months
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ig i just personally dont rlly vibe w ppl who think that merely saying 'i wish they died' just to lighten the heavy weight of their overwhelming emotions (that they cant control may i add) is the same thing as actively actually murdering someone 💀
#did u know that venting can actually make someone feel a bit better and less inclined to act on thoughts.....#when u create environment in society where u force everyone to supress and hide all their ugly thoughts and emotions#those feelings will grow stronger and stronger and poison you#and that's why ppl eventually explode when it cant be contained anymore#ppl expressing things - that they prob dont even mean or want to be true or a reality#is nowhere near the same thing as ppl acting on it or causing others harm#but then also i am of the opinion that *everyone* deserves help and treatment. ppl shouldnt be discarded and labeled as broken or crazy#sm ppl have overwhelming emotions they cant control bc all of our brains are different. there should be *quality* help available for everyo#instead we live in a society that shames ppl. that push ppl into boxes and say#if u dont fit into this tiny neat little square u are ugly broken disgusting and reprihensible!!!#then they just banish u to the shadows where they dont have to see u or look at u#anyway this is a whole society thing that is connected to this issue in my braib#brain*#what i was gonna say was that i personally think venting and expressing your thoughts - no matter how ugly they are#is necessary for humans. esp when it's in a space where the potential target of the thoughts wont see#esp when there are no plans of taking yhe thoughts into action#asl long as u can separate complaining and venting ur frustrations and causing someone (undeserved) harm irl#thats just who i am and this is my blog and i dont appreciate ppl telling me#that i have to shove it all back inside and im not allowed to express anything#if you're a wasp who thinks everything should be bottled up. that everything should be expressed delicately#then u do you. but you do not tell me that i have to conform to your ways. i find your ways harmful and regressive#so maybe we should just go our separate ways huh? everyone arent meant to get along#theres no use in arguing or fighting or reprimanding ppl everytime u see smth u dont agree with#esp when all u see is a *thought* that causes no material harm to another person. then u should just be on ur merry way
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mitskicoded · 4 months
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one day i’ll be able to talk about it properly but until then it just buzzes around in my throat
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kirbychar · 1 month
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Every month my periods get worse both physically and mentally i really just wish i would never have them again
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blanketmoss · 6 months
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As far as my understanding goes alphas are the big buff ones omegas have sopping wet eyes and make pillow forts and betas are just kind of there
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vannessa010 · 6 months
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W.I.P. But needed to share bc this wasn't getting out of my brain lol JJK vs Ace Attorney Explanation for the picks on tags
#jjk spoilers#jjk#jjk manga#jujutsu kaisen#I chose Maya for Yuji just because they both get on some possession shenanigans#Maya gets possessed sometimes by one of the antagonists named Dahlia to commit murder/other heinous acts#And is always destroyed inside bc she wasn't strong enough to supress the spirit and etc#just like Yuji. So it's only fitting#Now for Sukuna. I wanted so badly to make him be Dahlia it would be perfect#but then. She always acts like a soft girl (to hide her trueself) that it would be weird to draw this 1000 yr old villain just like that...#So I made his left hand and expression match hers#and then added some Von Karma to spice it up#the old man that persisted twisting everything just because he is powerfull#it fits sukuna#and at last for Higuruma as Miles...#I was between Pheonix and Miles#But thought it would be best to be miles just because miles was the guy who wanted to be lawyer but#bc of the injustice of the world he was forced upon being a prosecutor#just like Higuruma in the culling game#but then after a change of heart by his colleague he pursued the justice once again#+ they both since young can't stand injustice. Miles was the one who defended the MC of Ace Attorney when they were just kids#...and Higuruma's personality fits Miles better than phoenix even though they arent so similar#Also i thought of using maybe the other games aside from the main 3 but I don't think much people know about them#(Not everyone can watch full gameplays of 9 different games that are above 10 hours y'know....)#Anyways i know this wont get much attention so i'm just gonna screenshot this when i finish the art!
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cowboy-robooty · 1 year
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svsss made me realize fuck or die is actually good because it works out well when all the characters would and do genuinely choose die
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Free story idea I'll probably never write but am kind of obsessed with: Scott and Lightray role reversal where Scott grew up on New Genesis and Lightray was traded to Apokolips.
Basic set up: Scott, as a little baby child, was supposed to die when Steppenwolf killed his mother. He survived, narrowly, but Izaya hid that from Apokolips in fear of retaliation. So when the pact happened, Izaya's son, presumed dead, wasn't on the table; instead, (quite literally) the brightest child on New Genesis was traded.
So Scott grows up hidden on New Genesis as the son of Highfather, with his big brother Orion. And the thing is, he loves his home, his father, his brother, but by the time he hits young adulthood he's positively gnawing at the bars. He's going stir crazy from his limited movement; even in New Genesis he has to be careful, because after all these years, he's still hiding from Darkseid, who might change the pact if he hears Izaya's son is still alive, or even flat out kill him, breaking the truce in the process. It's not something anyone is willing to risk, least of all Highfather and Orion.
But Scott is not the type to accept limitations on his freedom, and on top of that, the longer he hides away, the more guilty he feels. He's not stupid, he knows that he should have, by all rights, been the one traded in the pact. But Highfather prioritized his safety and took the out that him being presumed dead offered, and another kid took the fall instead. How is that fair? It's not like Lightray is any less important than him. Scott may have been too young to make informed decisions or understand what was happening when the pact occured, but now, as an adult, he's becoming increasingly dissatisfied with being protected at the cost of other peoples lives.
If only he could help in some way – he's no fighter, but he's crafty and creative. Surely, even if he wouldn't he terribly useful on a battlefield (and has no real desire to enter it to begin with), he could at least do something for the kid that got traded in his place? Help him escape, perhaps? He's already capable of giving even New Genesis the slip, Apokolips can't be that much harder...
Meanwhile, Darkseid was fully planning on pulling the same basic gambit with Lightray as he would have with Scott: torment him until he decides to escape at all costs, breaking the pact. So Lightray was put in Granny's Orphanage, ostensibly a normal student, with Granny reporting back on him to Darkseid. And things would've gone roughly like they went for Scott, if it weren't for one thing: Lightray's intelligence.
Where Scott was, as far as we can tell, a perfectly average student, Lightray quickly proves to be exceptional. His fighting is largely mediocre (relatively peaking, of course), but he still wins a vast majority of sparring matches, even when his opponents far outmatch him in skill, resources, numbers, or all three. He does this by simply outsmarting them, figuring out positively brilliant strategies even under the effects of Granny's mind-altering drugs. Granny reports this back to Darkseid, baffled and annoyed, lamenting about cowardice and rebellion; children in Granny's Orphanage are not supposed to think, after all.
But Darkseid quickly realizes that the pact handed them far more than just a symbolical light, an easy way to end the truce; it handed them a weapon. Child of New Genesis Lightray may be, Darkseid reads Granny's reports of cunning, manipulation, underhanded and even ruthless strategy and sees himself. On New Genesis, Lightray may have been a formidable enemy, but now, Darkseid has the opportunity to mold him into a surprise weapon. A cunning strategist, perhaps even on a similar level as himself, completely loyal to Apokolips, but easily able to win New Genesis' trust if necessary. A perfect potential spy. Lightray still has some of that pesky New Genesis kindness, but nothing a little careful manipulation won't fix. But the brute force of Granny's Orphanage won't bend him into the right shape; a little more subtlety is required here.
So Darkseid takes Lightray from Granny's Orphanage and only lies to him a little bit. He tells Lightray about the pact, about how he was traded for convenience's sake; Darkseid even graceciously admits that he'd originally planned to use Lightray much the same way, but had realized his mistake and decided to give him a chance instead. Darkseid sees how special Lightray is, how much more he could be than just a bargaining chip; Darkseid could make him great, give him power and, more importantly, a place to belong. Lightray could be important, and important things aren't easily traded away, are integral to their home and respected as peers. He could have a place here if he just listens to Darkseid, and why shouldn't he? What has New Genesis, what has Highfather given him? At least Apokolips, Darkseid is giving him a chance, believes he can be more than a bargaining chip. Highfather sees him as nothing but a tool, but Darkseid gets him, believes in him, believes he is more. Between the two of then, who has earned Lightray's loyalty?
So Lightray grows up as Darkseid's adopted son, favored even over Kalibak for his merit, risen above his origins as a bargaining chip, and only feels a little weird about it all. Just a little bit. Somewhere in the back of his mind, there is an instinctive part of him that cringes when a hunger dog rebel begs for mercy while being tortured to death, but that's just his New Genesis weakness, and he's long since overcome it. It's nothing Darkseid holds against him, as long as Lightray fights it. His origins don't define him, and he's grabbed the knife and chosen Darkseid's strength over New Genesis' weakness.
They were planning on having him 'escape' Apokolips and slotting him into New Genesis as a spy, but a golden opportunity drops straight into their lap. A New Genesian manages to sneak straight into Lightray's room, in the heart of Darkseid's home. The only one they know with the skill to pull that of is Himon, but this is clearly someone else.
This is Highfather's son, remarkably alive despite all information to the contrary, and doesn't that just reinforce everything Lightray's ever been taught? Highfather had been unwilling to sacrifice his own son, as Darkseid had done, and had instead cowardly offered up Lightray as a sacrificial lamb. Well, joke's on them, this lamb has grown into a wolf, and is ready to earn his spot in the pack. Highfather's son is called Scott Free (which is really just salt in the wound, isn't it) and is here to break him out, take him back to New Genesis, and it's a little before schedule, but they can't possibly pass up this opportunity.
Scott returns home to New Genesis, having successfully rescued Lightray and feeling pretty good about himself, not understanding why Orion is so spitting mad at the whole thing. He knows this means war, and that's awful, but this truce was never going to last, and they all know it. And now that he's seen the horrors of Apokolips for himself, he can't help but want to do something about it. He may be no fighter, but he thinks he can work with Himon; Himon's methods seem to fit very well with Scott's strengths. He can help, but his father still forbids him to leave New Genesis, and Orion insists that Darkseid is planning something, that it's too dangerous. Scott is inexperienced, naive, and must be protected at all costs, and if they think they can actually successfully keep him in one place they're idiots. It's only a matter of time before he gives them the slip.
Orion knows this damn well, but that's not going to stop him from trying to keep Scott from walking straight into an enemy trap. He doesn't trust Lightray, not even a little bit; he still remembers what Darkseid is like, and he knows, knows that Lightray would never have been allowed to live as his son if he wasn't useful to him in some way. Orion would bet his astro harness Lightray is a spy, but what can they do? Highfather refuses to lock Lightray up without concrete proof that he's a traitor, and they obviously can't send him back to Apokolips. If Scott goes through with joining Himon, he'll be in the middle of enemy territory, with a spy to report back to Darkseid on it. Orion can't allow that to happen, no matter what. But he can't just babysit Scott, even if Scott would've allowed him to do that; with the war starting, Orion is needed on the front lines. He doesn't know how to balance the need to protect his brother with his duties towards New Genesis and the universe at large.
Lightray, meanwhile, is having a bit of a culture shock. New Genesis is, for the most part, exactly what he'd been told to expect: bright, soft, holier-than-thou, all-around fake and weak. But it's still a shock to go from dark Apokolips to bright New Genesis, and to his alarm he can feel the effects already. In the sunlight, he is physically stronger and much more comfortable. He settles in easy, feels content in a way he rarely (never) felt on Apokolips. No matter how much he tries to remind himself that these people betrayed them and he's here to destroy them, he fits on New Genesis in a way he never did on Apokolips, and that scares him, a little bit. Because he knows he'll never have a place here; he'd be a tool at best, and an interloper at worst. Orion's hostility, though a significant hurdle in the plan, is almost welcome; it's familiar, and makes it easier to remind himself that he does not, in fact, belong here.
And then, there is one more complication: Scott Free. Scott Free, Highfather's hidden son, for whose sake he was traded, who is naive and reckless and easy to manipulate, and genuine in a way that completely throws Lightray for a loop. Highfather lies, pretending to trust Lightray despite obviously agreeing with Orion's suspiscions, apologizing for trading Lightray even though he'd surely do it again without hesitation, claiming to respect New Genesis' youth above all despite how obviously untrue that is. It's easy to look at him and see confirmation of everything Darkseid told him about New Genesis.
But Scott tells Lightray he never should've been traded in his place and honestly seems to believe it. He defied orders to come 'rescue' Lightray because he believed it was more important than the continuation of the pact. He's weak, in many ways, but he sees the world how it could be, not the way it is, and has a bright resiliance to him, which Lightray stubbornly refuses to compare to anyone he's met, especially not one Aurelie, the Fury who'd been revealed to be part of Himon's rebels. Scott Free will either die painfully or waste the rest of his life away imprisoned, and Lightray finds himself making just a few too many excuses for why that bothers him.
When Scott Free finally escapes Orion and Highfather's watch to go join Himon, Lightray does not immediately report to Darkseid. He contacts Big Barda instead. It's not treachery, he tells himself. Big Barda is wholly loyal to Darkseid, the leader of the Furies, and will get the job done; besides, he'll report to Darkseid soon enough. He still refuses to think about Aurelie, and how closely Barda stuck to Lightray's side afterwards, drawn to him for reasons they both knew but refused to acknowledge. When he hears back about Barda's defection and her and Scott's escape to Earth, he is obviously very shocked and not even a little bit relieved the plan he didn't have worked.
Then the anti-life equation is discovered on Earth, and suddenly Lightray is told by Darkseid that discovering its location should be his top priority. Orion is sent to look for it as well, to protect it, and Lightray, seeing an opportunity, insists to go along. To his surprise, Orion actually agrees. Orion, for this part, just wants to get Lightray as far away from New Genesis as possible, and is working on a 'keep your friends close, but your enemies closer' logic. So off they both go, on the universe's most high-stakes and hostile buddy road trip.
#My posts#infodumping#Lightray#Orion#Scott free#Fourth world#I like this au bc it does what role reversals do best: force you to question which parts of a character are innate#Lightray is characterized as the kindest of new genesis but this is tied heavily to his sheltered upbringing on new genesis#We also see him mostly prioritize orion as his personal friend; this is unlike highfather and orion who are both big picture thinkers#Don't get me wrong lightray has a strong sense of justice but he's a little more prone to ruthlessness than you'd expect#And this au would rlly bring that out; some of his kindness is innate I believe but itd be duppressed like orion supresses his anger#On the other hand Scott's most defining attribute of fucking bailing on everything is still there its just twisted#Bc Scott in canon almost never seeks out danger and doesnt really feel responsible for fighting apokolips#But thats easily read as being bc he went through hell already so he jus wants to get away now#He already has a strong sense of justice in canon and is incapable of not helping ppl if they're in front of him#So in an au where he grew up on new genesis i DO think he'd be inclined to join himon in a way he didnt in canon#Bc that sense of justice would've been nurtured and never had to be stamped out or overridden for the sake of survival#Also sidenote I think a cool way for the plot of this au to go would be for barda + scott to join with the forever people#And find shilo norman as having the anti life equation#You could also have scott getting the equation if you want#I personally like the idea of thaddeus brown passing it onto him#Obvs both of those directions would be more AU than just the role reversal but I think they're Neat
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had a pamper yesterday with the lasses of the family (compulsory cisgender affirmation rituals my beloathed) and I have always struggled with them because I have gender issues and intensely sensitive skin and also am not and have not been in a relationship so they are a hellscape of feeling like an alien, but it was a pretty nice day actually
I love my family. we all make an effort to be family and it makes a big difference!
but I just had an appointment with my psych through the pain clinic and instead of talking about my distress and hope and complicated feelings about trying some new meds which I’m right at the beginning of months of right now, I talked about my sex and relationships or lack thereof™ which honestly is a subject I havenNt broached with any of my other councillors and stuff and it does relate because chronic illness is a boner killer and makes finding a relationship which was statistically difficult but not impossible seem like way too much work and way too likely to end in heartbreak I can’t afford rn but it felt like I was wasting his time :/
I hope he didn’t feel like I was wasting his time
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koishua · 1 year
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when am i going to get my moment of cinematic loud destructive outwardly violent raw female rage 😐😐
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Maybe a petty rage but:
I very much dislike the story of the scorpion and the frog. (You know, scorpion needs a lift across the river and frog helps but scorpion stings frog halfway and they both die)
Like im pretty sure scorpions can control when they sting? Also we are not a scorpion, all our behaviour is learnt.
Yes, it's hard to change our basic behaviour but we can control when we act. And with help we can change our behaviour.
I just hate the idea that people can't change and that someone who's bad will always be bad or something.
Maybe I am misunderstanding the story, like "be careful around actual scorpions cuz if they feel threatened they might sting you" but I don't know. It's like a lot of those sayings that have lost part of their meaning when they lose part of their words (jack of all trades, blood is thicker than water, etc).
Idk I'm just bothered by it and idk if anyone else is.
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akutakillz · 2 years
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tfw when ur really upset but someone rbs a post u rbed with funny tags
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