#suguru is very very selfish at his core and a big part of that selfishness is connected to those desires | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jamescomjj · 1 month

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Kenjaku x Jin Itadori ⁠♡

So, hi! Uuhh, first time posting actual writing here, quick reminder English is *not* my first language so sorry if something just doesn't make much sense, anyways, I think about them a lot, it's very short cause my brain doesn't have that much creativity to write big things but i love them so much I had to at least write something. Enjoy 🥺

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Kenjaku told himself it was all for the plan, he believed so for most of the time but there was a point where it became all too much to ignore, the increasing feelings of genuine care and love for Jin were becoming utterly overwhelming, something he at first brushed off as Kaori's personality rubbing on him but as time passed by pretending wasn't a need anymore, it came so naturally it was terrifying, it made him feel human again.

During his pregnancy he was spoiled and treated like a God, each day with that man was like heaven on earth, kind, caring, compassionate and completely obsessed with him - Or rather, with Kaori, though the lines got blurred at times, he passed so much time as her it was if she became a part of who he is, core and soul fused into something different, he isn't the same Kenjaku he was since he became Kaori.

But that was the past, he now inhabits the body of someone else - Suguru Geto, someone who has his own desires, his own special someone and needs, but for some reason these don't seem to affect him as much as Kaori did, as if that spot of love has already been claimed by someone else to Kenjaku, a spot no one can take. The memories and things he felt while with Jin persist in his mind, each time Kenjaku closes his eyes he's haunted by that sweet absolute pure smile of that damned man, while in bed his body squirms under the blankets, yearning for that loving touch, that tender caress, longing for it so bad it makes him doubt everything he ever did, every cell on his body screaming to go back to that soothing moment of true peace, true happiness.

He opens his eyes tiredly as sleep fails him once again that week, his gaze locking on the dark ceiling of the lonely room illuminated by the light of the moon coming through an open window, accompanied by the cold nightly breeze. Silence and coldness, it was all he had left.

A glimpse of a memory tingles the back of his cerebrum, the only part of him that is true, and as that scene rushes back like a movie playing in front of his eyes he realizes something.

He wasn't able to kill Jin, he never could do such a thing, he loved him so much he couldn't take away the other man's life - he suppressed that memory to the deepest of his physique, all for Jin's sake, for his safety he forced himself to forget he spared his beloved, so they wouldn't meet again. Blurry images of a house forcefully plagued his mind, darkness and the reflection of glasses.

Not anymore. This wasn't a matter of concern now, it was pure selfish desire for that love again, to possesses that man again, after all, Kenjaku is an egotistical self-centered person, it is all about him, about what he wants, and he not only wants that back, he needed it. His desperation is so crushing that the idea of not having Jin at his side right now makes him completely miserable, a mess of what he used to be.

Without a moment's hesitation he stood to his feet, leaving his place of stay to go in search of that man through the night out in a white shirt and baggy pants, no time to change into proper clothing.

Kenjaku didn't remember perfectly where he left Jin, the memory of that day was cloudy - with a frustrated sigh he stopped, taking a moment to breath in the cold air and put his thoughts in place, he searched thoroughly in his own brain, each step, each word they shared, each location he went to in the modern world until it finally came back to him, relief would be a understatement.

Upon arriving at the house he found it to be rather well cared for, he didn't exactly expect for the other man to have stayed there after all those years but there it was, in better condition than he had left it. He noted the lights on by looking at the windows, glad his early meltdown wasn’t fruitless.

With a trembling hand Kenjaku reached for the handle, his fingers curling around it as he pushed and opened the unlocked door. His vision was immediately blinded by a well-known figure, being met with the sight of Jin who was reaching for the handle from the inside.

They both stopped in place, looking into each other's eyes for painful long minutes of complete silence, Kenjaku's gaze drifted down Jin's body, taking in his older figure - it has been 16 years but somehow that man looks just as gorgeous as he remembers, aging like fine wine. Jin opened his mouth but no sound came out, Kenjaku did a similar gesture with his own lips but equally mute.

That was until a chuckle broke away from Jin, that ravishing smile tugging at the side of his lips as his eyes filled with tears. “You're surely taller, Kaori.” He said with a hint of tease, finally taking the breath he was holding back until now. “Hello again, my love. If…I can still call you that?” He questioned cordially.

“...Yes, please.” Kenjaku nodded as he finally found his words, tilting his head to the side as he slowly came back to his usual playful self. “We have a lot to discuss, my love.”

#kenjaku x jin #writing #fanfic #Kenjaku #Jin Itadori #Soft #I love them sm #I want to cry #What if they were happy and in love #my writing

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