#ssore spot sore spot it upsets me that i just cannot bridge this gap regardless of how confident and stable i get as a person | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bellincurl · 2 years

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idk it sucks and there’s no way out of it, just waiting till another person is patient enough to love you romantically or be attracted to you in any way. Waiting for people to stop telling you you wouldn’t like to date, you wouldn’t like this, you’re not the type for that. it makes my head hurt. Like ooo lala the developmental trauma and transfagness and my mean little face make me impossible to woo unless I want to bark up the tree of 30 year old men who start off their messages with HEY CROSSDRESSER

#and when people say hey. focus on your friends focus on your family it's like #okay what if i don't have that.#what are you meant to do when you don't have that kind of lifelong besties who hug you all the time and support you shit or #parents who aren't fundamentally ashamed of the ways you exist and would rather die than have held me as a kid #yyou just keep going and feign off the cruel comments about how you're not Really gay cause you didn't get to have gay sex behind the school #or fall in love with the one other trans person in your school like that was EVER an option for most of us.#ssore spot sore spot it upsets me that i just cannot bridge this gap regardless of how confident and stable i get as a person #iit's just not how it works #ouroborous of pain and thte way you are held as the reason for neglect if you are neglected #you're neglected because you were neglected ect ect ect #you're unholdable cause you haven't been held and so on when it's all i've ever wanted for myself

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