#sorry I am obsessed with this girls dress and then his tiny shirts ok?? thank you Ashley for sending my way | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fandom-blackhole · 3 years

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A pansexual horndog , an infp turbuletnt mediator. I use she/her pronouns. I don't know how to describe my character because I feel like my existence makes no sense. I'm shy and anxious, literally struggling with GAD and agoraphobia, yet I love being a center of attention, I can be a show off lmao

I'm sure I'm going to hell because of my dark, edgy humor.

I know it's not really a good think but I think I have something of a 'pick me girl' in me, like I prefer hanging out with the boys™ playing games and stuff. I'm hot-headed and live for drama, always shading people and spilling the tea, but only about ppl that wronged me (we don't stan bullying in this household). However, I believe I can be an actual sweetheart, almost like a mom friend for my closest besties.

My fav colors are black and pink. My fashion style is hard to describe, idk man. Like it's either a sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt kinda situation or a cute lil' skirt with knee-high socks. I always put makeup on tho and I always wear my hair down.

My thoughts tend to be rather grim and dark but at the same time my bedroom is literally princess themed and I collect all things hello kitty.

I don't have any talents or passions. I'm an English language major with minor in business. I am fluent in several languages and currently studying more. I'd like to become a sworn translator or interpreter in the future. I love traveling, been to maaany countries already so I really want to be able to work and travel at the same time.

Sorry babe, I'm really bad at this. I'd love to get matched with one of the Buckets and a Clone boi. I know I omitted the appearance, because, uhhh, me ugly, but you know it lmao.

I ship you with Leia!

I know you are probably disappointed but, please, here me out.

I just picture you and Leia being those cool af gay aunties. You are really beautiful so the Princess would fall for you pretty easily.

She's fiesty and protective and so are you. I'll never stop being thankful for you defending me against nasty anons.

Leia is the biggest social justice warrior just like her momma. I can see you both trying to figure out how to help those in need.

You'd never take any bullshit from no man.

GASLIGHT GATEKEEP GIRLBOSS

bonus: visiting her mom's homeplanet, just you and her, somewhere near a remote lake. Just two baddies being softies, holding each other in their arms.

Sorry for all the typos and errors but I'm having a high fever as I'm writing this. I'm not sure if it's even real or I just started seeing things lool. Also sorry for keeping the ship thingy short, I'd love to write a drabble for you in the future if you like my choice for you.

First off, don’t apologize for typos because I guarantee I will have at least one in my answer for you bb. And second of all THANK YOU for being here and bringing life to my blog and dms with all your thots, I love them all!

Now for your ships, first off of course, I ship you with me lmao buuuuuut,

For the bucket bois I ship you with Paz Vizsla!

First off I wanna say that Paz is going to wake up every morning and just shower you in love and affection, telling you how perfect and beautiful you are and how much he absolutely loves and adores you. Paz will constantly reassure you and if your anxiety starts getting the better of you he will pull you away from everyone and whisper reassuring, comforting things to you and do whatever he can to help you feel better. Now Paz also has a darker sense a humor and I personally think that comes with being a mandalorian, so he will always chuckle at your jokes and will return it with one of his own because he strives to see you smile and laugh as much as he can make possible. Paz would find it cute that you are always chasing drama and loves to sit and listen to you recite all the drama to him and spill the tea lol. You say you don't have any talents, but Paz is always blown away at how many languages you can speak and how you continue to want to learn more. He also loves that that gives him an excuse to take you with him when he travels so that he can have his cute little translator with him at all times. Not to mention that he loves cuddling up with you in the tiny bed that he has on his ship, as well as other things.

For your clone ship, I am going to ship you with Commander Fox!

Ok so I wanna say that the two of you some how meet and start a regular meet up at some random shady bar where the two of you will sit for hours passing back rumors and just drama that you have witnessed since the two of you talked last. This goes on for a while before one morning you wake up early to Fox slowly and carefully trying not to wake you up as he untangles himself from you and your bed. After that the two of you start meeting more regularly and usually at your home. Once the two of you really get close and even start a relationship Fox finally relaxes around you. Fox absolutely loves your dark jokes because it is something he doesn't get to hear often with protecting senators and the chancellor almost everyday. Fox has also always loved the way you dressed, whether it be in comfy clothes or your cute skirts, he doesn't care he just likes the idea of wearing something different everyday rather than just blacks and his armor. Fox also likes to play with your hair at any given chance, and he appreciates that you always have it down because it just means that he has easier access too in, especially in certain situations *wink wink*. Fox would be one to stand up for you in any situation, and he may be pretty emotionally stunted and can't quite get the words out most of the time but the second he knows he loves you he will bluntly tell you because he is a blunt man and will not beat around the bush when it comes to you.

How in the world could I ever be disappointed in being shipped with the best princess and general in the Star Wars galaxy?!?!

Now, everything you wrote? Fucking beautiful I am obsessed and I want to steal Leia away from Han and just hype her up and help her take over and rule the galaxy like she deserves

(And if you wrote more than enough for my ship, but if you wrote me a little drabble with Leia I would die of happiness bb)

(14/20)

#500 followers #ships #paz vizsla x reader #paz x reader #commander fox x reader #fox x reader

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thecaptainsgingersnap · 5 years

Text

Cinderella

Rating: teen

Warnings: none

Word Count: 2.2k

Summary: Drea performs a song at her dad’s 50th birthday party and it sends him on a walk down memory lane.

A/N normal text: present day

italics: flashback

bold italics: song lyrics

A/N 2: Song is “Cinderella” by Steven Curtis Chapman

The air in the speakeasy was practically buzzing with excitement as Drea came down the stairs. Everywhere she looked, there were Serpents and Northsiders alike gathered to celebrate her father’s 50th birthday. Scanning the large room, she spotted her parents talking to Betty and Jughead. She reached behind her and grabbed Fangs’ hand as she made her way toward her family. As they approached, she bumped Jughead’s shoulder with her own. He glared at her and pushed her lightly in response.

“About time you two show up.” He said.

“Sorry, I had to drag Fangs away from trying to help Sweet Pea with his lines for Heathers.”

“Whatever, Ms. Choreographer!” Fangs interjected, wrapping an arm around her, “You couldn’t wait to show him ‘Freeze Your Brain!’”

Drea opened her mouth to give a witty retort, but was interrupted by her mother.

“Whoever’s fault it is, you two are late.” Gladys said, crossing her arms.

“Sorry, mom.” Drea replied sarcastically, a grin tugging at the corners of her lips.

“Yeah, sorry, Mrs. J.” Fangs said, “Happy birthday, FP.”

“Thanks, Fogarty.” FP replied, clapping him on the shoulder.

“Hey, you kids don’t go too far. ‘Cause the good stuff’s about to happen, alright?” Gladys said.

“Sure, mom.”

“Yeah, ok.”

A little while later, Drea was sitting between Fangs and Jellybean as Jughead stood on stage giving his speech. Her head was leaning on Fangs’ shoulder and he leaned down to whisper in her ear.

“You got your song ready?”

“Yeah, it’s the speech I’m worried about.”

“You’ll do great, Princessa.” he whispered back, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

Drea smiled and sighed softly as she returned her attention to her brother.

“And I am proud to be a part of your amazing story. Here’s to 50, dad… and to 50 more.”

As the entire room broke into applause and Jughead walked offstage, Drea stood up and made her way toward it. The twins high-fived each other as they passed and Drea climbed on stage. She stood in front of the microphone waiting as the crowd got settled before beginning to speak.

“Hey, everybody!” she began, with an awkward wave. “As most of you know, I’m um, I’m Jug’s twin sister, Drea.”

Clearing her throat, she glanced around nervously. Fangs caught her eye and gave her an encouraging smile. She took a deep breath and continued.

“I’m not really sure how to follow that,” she admitted, gesturing toward Jughead, “but I’m gonna try!”

There was some scattered laughter from the crowd.

“I don’t really have my brother’s way with words. I tend to be better at music or art. That’s why it came as no surprise to me when my mom asked me to sing something tonight.”

Drea paused to tuck a lock of blue streaked hair behind her ear.

“What was surprising was how hard it was to pick a song!” she giggled, “I mean, how do you find the perfect song to describe how much you love someone that means so much to you?”

She looked down at FP who was listening intently with a loving smile on his face. Drea’s smile grew as she kept speaking.

“I started to think back over the years, and I kept coming back to one memory. When I was 5 or 6, I was OBSESSED with princesses. My biggest dream was to meet my Prince Charming and dance at the ball. There was only one problem, I was 5 and didn’t know how to dance. “

She chuckled at the memory.

“Well, I was also stubborn-”

“Was???” Jughead called from the table.

Drea stuck her tongue out at him and the crowd laughed at their antics.

“As I was saying,” she continued with a playful glare in Jughead’s direction, “I was stubborn and wasn’t gonna let that stop me, so I marched up to my dad and said, ‘Daddy, will you teach me to dance?’ He looked down at me for a minute, then he smiled and said, ‘Sure thing, princess.’ Next thing I knew I was standing on his toes and he was waltzing us around the living room.”

Feeling herself starting to get emotional, Drea stopped to take a breath.

“I’ve grown up a lot since then and learned a few more dance steps, but my favorite memories will always be standing on my daddy’s feet, laughing as we spun around that trailer on the Southside.” she nodded toward Reggie in the sound booth. “I really think the song I picked captures those feelings. So this one’s for you, dad. Happy birthday.”

Slow piano music started playing through the speakers. Drea took a deep breath and began to sing, her voice soft and melodious.

She spins and she sways to whatever song plays

Without a care in the world

And I'm sitting here wearing the weight of the world on my shoulders

It's been a long day and there's still work to do

She's pulling at me saying "Dad I need you

There's a ball at the castle and I've been invited

And I need to practice my dancing

Oh please, Daddy, please!"

FP sat at the table listening to his daughter sing. As she sang, she twisted a strand of hair around her finger, something she’d done since she was young. He smiled at the familiar habit and listened to the song lyrics as he found himself lost in a memory…

The door of the trailer snapped shut behind him. He walked to the fridge to grab a beer before dropping into a chair at the small kitchen table. His shoulders ached and his knees were sore. The construction site was Hell today and he was glad to be home. Tall Boy would be calling him to leave for a job in a few hours, but he’d worry about that then. For now, FP just wanted to be here with Gladys and the twins.

Speaking of, he heard a set of tiny, yet determined, footsteps approaching. Looking up from the tiled floor, he was met with the bright blue eyes of his daughter Drea. She was wearing a pair of grass stained jeans and a Cinderella t-shirt. Gladys had put her hair in pigtail braids and her bangs were pinned back with a heart-shaped barrette.

“Hey, Pudding Pop.” He said, scooping her up to sit on his lap.

Drea giggled and when she opened her mouth, FP could see her missing front tooth

“Hi daddy!” she replied, twisting one of her braids around her finger., “Will you teach me to dance?”

FP cocked his head in confusion for a moment. Looking into his daughter’s eyes, though, he saw such innocent hopefulness that he decided the reason didn’t matter. He kissed her forehead and smiled.

“Sure thing, princess.”

He led her to the living room so they’d have more space. Lifting her up so she was standing on his feet, he held one of her small hands in his large, calloused one. His other hand rested on her back holding her steady as she held onto his bicep. As they turned in slow circles, FP hummed some old country song.

Drea giggled and held tightly as they moved. As he came to the end of the song, FP picked her up and held her against his chest. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek.

“I love you, daddy.” she said sweetly, laying her head on his shoulder.

FP smiled and wrapped his arms tighter around his little girl.

“I love you too, Pudding Pop.”

She says he's a nice guy and I'd be impressed

She wants to know if I approve of the dress

She says, "Dad, the prom is just one week away

And I need to practice my dancing

Oh please, Daddy, please!"

FP couldn’t remember how many dance classes Drea had taken or how many recitals and performances he’d sat through after that day. He sure remembered the next time he taught her to dance though…

“I love Freshman year!” Drea proclaimed as she burst through the front door, before running into her room.

FP looked to Jughead for an explanation.

“She found a dress for homecoming.”

“Not just a dress, the perfect dress! And I got a date!” Drea called down the hall.

“A date?” FP asked, suddenly much more interested. “Who?”

“Reggie Mantle asked me!” she replied, practically bouncing back into the living room.

She stopped in front of the couch and stood in front of him.

“Well, what do you think of my dress?” she asked, spinning around so her skirt billowed out around her knees.

The dress was a deep blue and came just below her knees. It was sleeveless and had a collar that looked like a large clunky necklace. She looked so grown up. FP had to take a minute to compose himself before answering.

“You look beautiful, Drea.”

“Thanks, now I just have one problem.”

“What is it?”

Drea tucked a newly dyed strand of blue hair behind her ear and scuffed the toe of her boot against the floor.

“I uh- I don’t know how to slow dance.” she mumbled.

FP smiled softly and hauled himself up of the couch.

“Well, we can’t have that. Can we?” he said, holding out his hand. “Wanna learn?”

Drea nodded and placed her hand in his.

“Ok, your other hand goes on his shoulder. Good, now his other hand goes on your waist. If Mantle puts his hand any lower, you use that move I taught you to break his arm.”

“Dad!” Drea giggled.

“I’m serious, Drea!” She glared at him. “Okay, okay, now you just move with the music.”

FP began to hum softly. After a moment, Drea recognized it as an old country song he loved. As he hummed, FP began to move them in slow circles around the room. After a few minutes, Drea had the hang of it and FP lifted their joined hands to spin her around before pulling her back to him.

As FP reached the end of the song, a car horn honked out in the driveway.

“Shit! That’s Kevin!” Drea said, letting go of her dad and dashing to her room.

“What are you kids doing tonight?” FP asked Jughead.

“The three of us are meeting Archie and Betty at the drive-in.” he replied from the couch.

“Jugabug, go tell Kev I’ll be out in a minute.”

Jughead rolled his eyes and went to do as she said. A few minutes later Drea came flying out of her room. She had taken off the dress and changed into a t-shirt and jeans. She pulled her purple combat boots back on and grabbed her jacket before kissing FP’s cheek and running out the door.

“Bye daddy, love you!” she called as it slammed shut behind her.

“I love you too, Pudding Pop.” he chuckled into the, now empty, room.

Well, she came home today with a ring on her hand

Just glowing and telling us all they had planned

She says, "Dad, the wedding's still six months away

But I need to practice my dancing”

As Drea sang the final verse, she removed the mic from it’s stand. She climbed down off the stage and made her way toward the table where her family sat. Stopping ing in front of her father, she smiled and held out her hand.

“Oh please, Daddy, please?"

FP looked up at the girl standing in front of him. She had gone from grass stains, princess shirts, and pigtail braids to ripped jeans, flannels and blue streaked hair. When he looked closer, though, she was still wearing that heart-shaped barrette and in her eyes was that same look of innocent hopefulness. When he looked closer, he still saw his little girl.

As she smiled down at him, FP wasted no time in taking Drea’s hand and standing from his seat. He placed his other hand on her waist and her free hand still held the microphone.

So I will dance with Cinderella

While she is here in my arms

'Cause I know something the prince never knew

Oh I will dance with Cinderella

I don't want to miss even one song

'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight

And she'll be gone

As Drea sang the final chorus, FP led her in a waltz around the room. They wove between tables as their family and friends watched with soft smiles. FP twirled Drea in a circle making her grin as she sang the final lines. The final chord of the song played and silence filled the room.

The crowd broke into thunderous applause and FP grinned at his daughter. Drea let go of her father long enough to lay the mic on a nearby table. She turned back to him and wrapped her arms tightly around him.

“I love you, daddy.” she said, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

FP pulled her closer, kissing her temple before resting his chin on top of her head.

“I love you too, Pudding Pop.” he replied so softly only she heard it.

And if anyone saw a tear roll down the former Serpent king’s cheek, well, they were smart enough to keep it to themselves.

#fp jones #jughead jones #fangs fogarty #fangs fogarty x oc #riverdale #gladys jones #jellybean jones #Drea Lynn Jones #fangs x drea #fanfic #my ocs

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itsinvisiblelocket91 · 5 years

Text

13 years of Taylor. (This is long. I’m sorry)

So I’ve decided to tell my story on how I found Taylor and the Impact she’s had one me, and what she’s helped me through the past 13 years. I figure it’s appropriate to do this during the Lover era and 13 years of Taylor!!

I’ll start with when I was 16 (almost 17) and sitting in the dark on my couch with a blanket wrapped around me. I was just skimming through the channels and landed on the ACM Awards. There was a tiny, tall, kinky ,curly, blonde headed girl in a black jacket and denim jeans and a guitar, sitting on a stool. All the sudden she tears it off and goes into dramatics of why this boy should have said no. Soon to go into a rain shower of “no’s”. I absolutely got chills and could not take my eyes off her. She sang in the rain, just drenched, soak and wet but singing her heart out about the boy who did her wrong. She ended the song and I was stunned! She was so happy after her performance. There was a standing ovation and she was so giddy and couldn’t believe the reaction she was getting. So genuine and honest. I replayed and watched it a couple times but at some point I HAD to stop and go to bed. I remember walking up the stairs to my room and decided that I was never gonna forget this girl and I needed to look her stuff up and soon.

Later on I had discovered her debut album “Taylor Swift” but didn’t go into a whole spiral of obsession like I am currently. I had her music on my laptop. I remember me and my friends making horrible remakes of “our song”, “tryin to find a place in this world”, and “Tim McGraw “ if only those video still existed. I started finding posters in magazines of her to hang up on my wall.

One day, my mom came home with the new “fearless” album for me only days after my birthday. I didn’t ask for it, she just got it but I’m so glad she did. The rest of that year, we played that CD to school and back in my moms Jeep. My school was 45 mins away so you can imagine I learned this album QUICK. I was 100% a hopeless romantic in high school and had crazy amount of crushes happening but also learning that they don’t have to like you or they can break up with you through a piece of paper at lunch. I remember wishing the song “15” came sooner for me, but greatful it was there cause even at 17-18 I didn’t know who I was. I felt Taylor was there to help me find that in myself. I was supper shy and definitely made fun of/ bullied in school. It was nice to know someone knew all about it and could let me know how to maybe handle it and all the other things high school came with.

January 13th 2010, my grandpa died of cancer. He had, had it for years at this point. I suddenly couldn’t listen to breathe anymore and still can’t to this day. For some reason it just hits different sense then. He was a father figure to me sense me, my brother and mom lived with my grandma and grandpa after her divorce. Not that my dad wasn’t around. It’s just he was always there to protect me and care for me as much as my mom was.

Soon it was time for me to graduate high school (I graduated early) and I remember being in like a limbo of “what now”. I watched the VMAS that year....2009. I remember watching it live. I burst into my moms room while she was sleeping to tell her what just happened to you. I was so angry. How dare he? You WORKED SO HARD! I laid in bed to mad that I couldn’t do anything. But what else could I do.

Speak Now was then released and I downloaded the album that night. Idky, but I listened to “last kiss” on repeat tell I fell asleep. (Weird I know). At the time I was talking to a certain someone that I never thought would have ever batted an eye in my direction from my high school. I had dated him for a week but it just wasn’t the right time for either of us. Clearly Speak Now said something to me. That night I was in the dark on the phone with him while the moonlight blazed through my blinds. He told me “I would always be of high importance to him and that he wanted to take me out on my birthday” At that moment, I new I needed to jump. I didn’t jump before because I was scared and with other boys I did the same thing before. Nothing.

Speak now told me to do this before you keep regretting not jumping.

I jumped.

I absolutely didn’t have my drivers licenses.

My mom was absolutely out of town

And I absolutely took my car that I would get when legal to drive to go see this boy who gave me a romantic conversation over the phone.

I felt like I was gonna throw up. 100% scared and blaring sparks fly in what was technically my car.

I met him at the park and we went to eat from there in his car.

I couldn’t believe what I was doing. This was jumping.

After that night, that was it. He was it.

I was 19 and 100% sure that this was it.

(Good thing I was right 🥰)

My mom was furious. I even moved out.

I listened to speak now that entire time. It was a huge part of my life. I would cry every time I left him and put on speak now and it would comfort me and I would be ok.

Years go by and then low and be hold RED is debuting

(19 year old jumping from house to house just to be with him. I slept on peoples floors)

My mom had gotten married and moved to Kentucky so I went to visit her. Engaged and sitting in my moms car, my mom comes out of Walgreens with a RED T-shirt, and album for me cause I was begging. I remember hear IKYWT and thinking oh hell, we’re going into something new? I sat in my moms guest room and listened to RED and loved it. I remember thinking how sad I was for Taylor. That this is what love has become for her. Red. Something that will probably end at some point.

That was about the time that the honeymoon phase was fading out for me and my fiancé. It’s funny how that’s like a light switch and you don’t realize what kinda care you have to give and put into your love life until one day, reality hits and you want certain things. Maybe things you both don’t agree on. You start having to grow up and dealing with actual life problems you didn’t see when you were blinded by the infatuation you have for each other. That’s when RED started making sense to me. Fighting and hurting each other cause we’re 20-21 and have no idea what we’re doing. Engaged and love each other but have no clue about life and doing it. That year was my first Taylor Concert with nose bleed seats of course cause I made $7.25 an hour and a friend of mine paid for them. I screamed every word with my poster board and almost broke into tears during the entire thing. I had only wished I could get closer because I wanted to see her face to face for once. I still had the time of my life screaming and jumping around to 22!

(My sign for the red tour)

The RED era started to come to an end and me and my fiancé FINALLY got out first place together. A home that was falling apart, and illegally made into a duplex. No central a/c or heat. Insulation was probably 0% as well. This was the hardest year for us. It was Texas and Texas is brutal with heat. Shake it off debuted and I desperately tried, I promise. I was so excited for this step in Taylor’s Career and was so excited to see what the next step in my life would need to get through it. Another album to help me deal with unknowing in life and my relationship with my fiancé.

One night at midnight, I had no internet to buy an album not any money for album, let alone food in the house. I stayed up all night waiting for the album to download on YouTube that someone posted. I would buy the album which I did and still have but that night I just needed to hear it. I was up tell 5am. I didn’t know that a week later I was going to need this album more than anything.

We had a fight

The fight.

It was horrible. I sat in the dark in our broken home thinking “this can’t be it” I left to my grandmas house the next day in tears and for a week me and him argued, trying to work it out. I couldn’t understand it. I listened to All you had to do was stay like there wasn’t another song to exist. There was a night that I finally got angry. I formed my entire life around this man. How dare you give up on us so easily? I drove down scared and angry and ready to get my stuff while listening to 1989, trying to calm down but the adrenaline was crazy. I get there and that night we both break down and try to ACTUALLY work things out. I listened to Taylor so much that year. 1989 ended up being a staple. I finally got a job and we found a new apartment together. One where our electricity wasn’t $20 a day and I didn’t have to share my trash can with the neighbors. A completely new beginning and trying to heal after such a hard year. Still engaged after 3 years. We finally are getting on track. I even met some amazing people and finally a swiftie who GET ME! Shake it off came on and work and we looked at each other and I’ll never forget it. I made some great friends that I really needed that year. It’s amazing what can happen in 1 year. They ended up being a bridesmaid in my wedding and makeup artist.

YES I SAID MY WEDDING

06/25/16 we finally made it. I walked down the aisle to your in love.

I couldn’t breathe and the a/c in the church was broken in the summer. He was sweating, my dress hit a lantern twice, we joked at the alter with the crowd. It was personal and real and small. Hectic and stressful too.

You disappeared for awhile after this. I couldn’t believe the existent the media, and some reality stars/ rap singers were taking. I was very angry. I was a little confused even and wasn’t sure of what to think. I knew of all the battles at this point that you already were fighting and then this happened. Another limbo without you happened. I had all your music but you were gone. I’m thankful knowing what I do now and that you ended up ok. Better than ok.

You vented your feeling and brought out reputation!!! Naturally this ended up being the year I had to get rid of any toxic friends that I had. I had some actual good friends and I started to see the difference in what I deserved. It also could also do with my age and growing up but still. On top of that, things still ended up being hard for me and my husband that year. We were seeing each other a lot cause of work and we were becoming distant. There was a temptation I had that I didn’t give in to but it hurt. We ended up deciding that we needed to go. Get out of town and leave. We picked up our important belongings and left in 2 weeks tops.

We moved to Kentucky which made me closer to my mom and helped a lot. My husband moved for us away from his family for us and that was everything in itself. I listened to all of her albums on my 14 hour drive from Texas to Kentucky. I was scared beyond belief and with some bumps in the road. We finally made it.

Fast forward to know and it’s been a year in Kentucky and Lover is out.

Me and my husband have decided to try and start a family. That’s how good this move has been for us. We have a 2 bedroom apartment and 2 fur babies. I love the fall here, and Lover has a special place in my heart just like the others. This year has been very good for me and my husband. I was putting up fall decorations a couple days ago and I teared up at the line “this is our place we make the call” I looked around and it WAS ours. I was decorating while he was laughing at his xbox game. We did it. This era is different. I can’t wait to see what this era will show me.

@taylorswift @taylornation

#taylor swift #RED #taylor nation #reputation #lover #taylorswift #iftye #dbatc #taylornation #speak now #1989

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gawaine · 6 years

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by popular demand: welcome to the saga of Fuckboy Supreme

*sigh* aka i’m dumb, what’s new

i’m going to try and keep this short bc ffs

Fuckboy Supreme (FS for short). Mr Popular of my cohort. hangs out at the back w/ the rest of the rugby boys. blonde, blue eyed... not my type.

i’d identified him as the FS of the year early on and Blonde Pop and I established that he, and my other friend Steffan, were probably the two best looking single guys in our course (not saying much). I heard that he was from money and was clearly trying to hide it (E much?) and I saw a lot of similarities. he was interesting to watch every now and then but I didn’t think we’d ever really cross paths.

except one day, we end up thrown together in clin. skills, alongside his best friend + housemate (Human Shield, for future reference. he becomes important later) and we kind of chat and lo and behold, he’s actually a pretty chill guy? nice enough to talk to. to the point where I tell my friends this (we all sit together down at the front) and I shock both FS and HS when I see them around and say hi (after HS and I spend a hospital shift together on NICU). more importantly, in that clin. skills session, me and HS are meant to “watch [FS] closely” to give feedback and I notice that this dude’s legs are absolutely insane, sculpted out of effing marble, and that same day, he’s happy to whip off his shirt (we’re doing resp. exams) and keep it off as he talks to someone. and I see he has a scar on his shoulder and ofc bc ME I’m like “omg sO PRETTY AND CLEAN” and he lets me basically play around with his weird af shoulder (old injury, post-surgery) as he chats to one of our tutors and I’m chatting to another tutor about the scarring. and he smells clean and he’s not super sculpted, as one would expect, but he’s lean in a natural, soft kinda way and i’m like okay, cool. and we chat a little and he’s nice about me not having a science background and w/e.

weeks go by, we say hi every now and then. then I slowly become obsessed with his legs.

it’s a slow process but the boy keeps walking into lectures, right by my seat to get to his, and he wears shorts and seriously... l e g s. but I’m wary of this so I’m happy to objectify him and for a time it works; idgaf if he notices (he doesn’t) and my friends find it hilarious, but I tell them I’m not interested in anything above the neck (or really, anything that isn’t thighs down) bc happy to stare and not know a thing about his personality thank you very much.

... I go out of my way to stand by that. and then, in a particularly shitty lecture one day, as I’m contemplating trying a psych shift, I realise the only person I know of who’s done what I’m interested in is... FS.

I decide fuck it, I’ll just message and ask - no being polite or friendly, straight to the point bc it’s work and I’m not there to open a door (even though, and I tell the girls this, by opening up messaging I feel like I am). this causes a non-stop 45min FB chat - I mean non-stop - and he’s hilarious. super hilarious. he’s also flirting w/ me and whilst I know this is all bc he’s FS (and I tell him so - he finds it v. funny), it’s a fun convo and it’s harmless and I reckon he’s just playing up bc we’re both bored.

... things escalate quickly.

we message back and forth a lot - he’s very quick and sharp, so he keeps up w/ me easily, but I’m treating him as I would anyone else. this lasts a while, but he keeps flirting and I keep telling him he’s a moron and eventually say if he keeps it up I’m just going to treat him like a psych experiment.

... I assume him continuing means he knows i’m being serious.

he becomes my psych experiment. lots of things being studied, including E and stuff from my dissertation etc etc and although at this point I know we’re embroiled in a weird power struggle, I stop giving a fucks because hey, he’s an experiment to me and i’m an unofficial therapist for him, right? win win. i don’t NEED to give a fuck about how it comes across.

2 weeks later, i’m sitting in the library while he’s at home, and we end up arguing over FB. he starts off polite but it quickly becomes i’m being intrusive, messaging him a lot, etc; why can’t I treat him like Aussie Essex (Blonde Pop’s housemate and my friend, as well as FS’) aka a normal friend and I’m like “lol but we’re not friends”, which we’ve both acknowledged before, but my stance is: I know things about him bc I asked specific things bc psychoanalysis. He doesn’t know anything about me. Friendship is mutual, that isn’t. basically I’m like “look, i’m sorry, have a nice life” in nicer words (bc I’m lost bc in my mind - I TOLD him he was a psych experiment??) and he’s all “what so you’re going to ignore me forever now haha” in not so many words and I’m like ???, but when he doesn’t respond, i’m like cool, we’re dead to each other, fine.

the girls notice how fucking ICE COLD we are w/ each other when we’re in the common room, though we wouldn’t normally talk, and Trout (not indicative of her face; a girl we both know, a member of the School - aka the group of girls who worship FS and his friends in my year, they have literally sat at FS’ feet before - who at this point, has been watching me and FS for a while) gets smug. bear in mind, after that first FB chat, I was throwing an event as co-president of the trauma society and was making the rounds around the common room to see who was coming and, after some initial back and forth, I commanded FS to come and he was like “fuck OKAY. okay? shit yes, okay” (he didn’t come and was meant to help me get numbers, but he fucked that too. idk if it was deliberate. it was a success anyway tho so w/e) and Trout was all ?!?!?! because she watches FS like a hawk and so he and I talking clearly confused her

but then a few days later he sees me sitting alone in lectures where I don’t usually sit and he’s like “morning Hannah” and, too shocked to do anything else, I auto-reply “morning [FS]” and just like that we’re okay again?

after the fight, I message him once - a silly message in a lecture by a 1st world Barbie - to test his reaction to the lecture more than anything else, but he doesn’t reply, which I suspected, but after that... no FB. I refuse to break that rule.

BUT I do grab him a couple of times when he walks by my seat in the break; I apologise face-to-face after he says hi and he apologises for the misunderstanding regarding the argument (he may have said hi after that?? idk) and he basically demands we’re friends and I’m like yeah whatever sure pal

but then he walks in one day wearing a beanie just like E’s and I. i just. it becomes a thing. i have a really cute bobble hat I wear every day bc our lecture theatre is colder than the Arctic fucking circle and so as I joke about him competing, I’m really freaking out bc that’s when I realise just how MUCH he reminds me of E. this hat becomes a Thing. I grab it one time and threaten to keep it hostage with Blonde Pop in front of all of his friends and they look at me like I’m insane, confused, lost at how I, a Front Row Person, dares to challenge FS. I’m literally in high school again.

aware of that, I die it down... and long story short, somehow, FS starts saying hi more and more in the morning and we have these mini chats (once the hat thing dies down), but it’s really tiny.

then I fuck up my wrist.

it pisses me off bc he’s clearly curious but doesn’t ask and I’m like “further proof we’re not friends” to myself but by this point, so much little shit has happened that all of my friends know what’s going on (lbr they did anyway) and his School are aware of me too - but OH - so there was this med school ball thing and we both went and that’s when I got more E vibes and I was like “fuck this” bc the more I avoided it the more it was happening and he was avoiding me and so AFTER that I was like “fuck this” and planned on ignoring him but that just... didn’t happen (I’m omitting so much of the finer details).

so yeah, he’s annoying me about my wrist bc he’s eavesdropping when I talk to my friend about it, but... nothing? so I’m like w/e fuck this dude and by this point, as an accidental by product of me being pissed with him at the ball (and myself), I’m dealing with some other male Situations and it’s pissing me off

bUT then exam week arrives and we have a really lovely chat before anatomy and he’s being all sweet and friendly and the School is confused and HS is confused (HS is perpetually confused when it comes to me and FS, which is odd, bc otherwise we’re pretty chill w/ each other) but at this point something doesn’t feel right bc I’m good w/ body language, right? communication, esp non-verbal, is my thing. and he’s being weird.

then I come home for the weekend to get my wrist seen to and Blonde Pop goes out with everyone else to celebrate exams being over (I leave with 2 of my other friends right after) and FS sees Blonde Pop, who he’s spoken to bc of me enough times now, and he asks where I am - and that’s weird bc we NEVER have spoken in a social setting so I’m like??

we get back; he stops before lectures and comments on my temporary cast (fracture clinic appointment tomorrow guys, prayer circle) and says something like “oh, well it’s good it’s completely immobilised” (30mins later i realise why this bothered me; he’s quoted me directly from when he was eavesdropping on me and my friend discussing the injury accidentally, and I’m like aHA I KNEW IT) and I make a flippant comment about yeah, but it’s not great for getting dressed in the morning and he’s like “oh, I’ll help you get dressed” and I look at him like wtf bc lol he’s such a moron but also ??? but then he sees Kelly and bolts, though he was laughing too and trying to justify that comment (badly) and for perspective, I tell Kelly and she immediately picks up my phone to see it and I’m like no, this just happened in person and she’s like what the actual fUCK bc that is not the level FS and I are in person so it’s not just me ok

and then later I see him sitting with Aussie Essex and when I go to speak to AE he’s like “hi??” and me, not hearing him but seeing him watching me, am all flippantly like “oh hey” and carry on but it throws me tf off bc we’ve had our one convo of the day inside the lecture theatre and this is getting weird and i’m immediately like ?? did he sit with Aussie Essex knowing I’d say hi? wtf?

then it’s the end of term pub quiz collecting money for charity (I’m using so much ‘then’, it’s disgusting and u can see i’m not in writer mode) and my gut tells me to avoid FS bc he’s leaving after lectures the next day but everyone is like wtf no come, it’ll be chill, so I do, and it’s fine, and he’s there and right in my line of vision but i’m like w/e w/e and we kinda say hi but it’s in passing and at this point, I’m on good terms with like... the majority of the guys in his little gang (he lives with 4 of them, so I’m polite to all of them on some level) and so when HS is introducing me to his gf, it’s fine... until he’s like “oh btw I forgot to tell you - this is [FS’] girl”

??????????????????

things escalate quickly. first FS sends me hearts, I flip him off, then he starts talking and I can’t hear so I go over and that’s when I get fucking ambushed by his housemate, who I only have spoken to once or so but know his gf but will hereby be known as Buttface... about how they’ve all (FS’ friends) given every girl on each row a percentage of how much they think that girl fancies FS. I’ve scored one of the highest - 73%, alongside another girl with a slight reputation (no judgement) who has been all over FS the majority of the night so far.

the more I defend myself, the more Buttface claims that’s proof of it being true (as a lit grad, do you know how much that logic offends me???) and FS only repeats that he wasn’t a part of the convo, it was only about him so not to blame him. but he listens smugly. things escalate. i’m ashamed to admit i’m so thrown off that i am not my best and as things continue to escalate, i feel too blindsided to do what I want to (though I do half-slap FS once bc I can’t fully slap him in a room full of our course w/o Drama, and though I go to spill a drink on him twice, everyone stops me) and it’s a mess and once it’s over, i’m raging and have to leave. a lot of people stay out though, so half of the lecture is too hungover the next day... so I don’t see FS and that week, we broke off for Xmas break. but before i left, I nudged HS and was like “wtf so you and your house talk about me a lot...” (literally aLL OF FS’ housemates are familiar w/ the topic) and HS is like “nah, I reckon he fancies YOU” and I know HS is a shit stirrer so it pisses me off more

Blonde Pop is raging for me. Broski is like “meh, men”, though Percival takes offence at the shitty logic; but Deej and Cap (who I travelled with) are like lol what this is a victory. in the power struggle, you’re winning. he doesn’t think we know about all of this; but you’re clearly important enough for all of his housemates to know your name. Lulu and Dragon Jock see me the next day; I make Lulu give me a hug bc I’m like “am I giving off hoe vibes??” and Lulu, who is soft and smiley and a cinnamon roll, is all “nO IT’S LAD CULTURE AND IT’S RUBBISH” and it’s very cute and defensive of me and Dragon Jock is just like “lol i’ll hit ‘em”. which is nice.

general consensus is to ignore the fuck outta him come going back in 2 weeks but?? idk if I can? it’s not that simple bc we have the rest of the course together and I know that he’ll act like everything’s fine and if i say why i’m pissed, Buttface will use that as ‘proof’ (rather than me being horrified at their audacity, I mean CHRIST ON A STICK) and if I don’t, it’s still proof... Broski says this won’t go away anytime soon bc of that reason but that isn’t satisfactory either

and like i clearly try to blend into the bg to avoid drama and now i’m like? why bother?? when we all went for takeout in our last night in Swans before heading home, Cap was like “i find it hilarious how you have so much drama around you” and when I was all “i sit in my room and watch Netflix tho??”, he was like “... that’s why it’s hilarious” and tbh yes, but not in a funny way, in more of a dAMN IT way

fuck blending? it makes no difference? hence me accepting my femininity, bc... screw everyone else, I’ll do what the fuck I want

but yeah. that’s the latest.

also, in slapping him, i felt his stubble and that was not the one.

berate me freely, go forth...

#the student diaries #fuckboy supreme #goodnight #finndamrron #franklyineedcoffee #i thought it'd be easier to say it in one go

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