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fandom-necromancer · 4 years

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929. Now I know where half my wardrobe went.

This story was prompted by a lovely anon! Enjoy!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900

Nines was anxious to begin. In front of him lay several wooden planks of various sizes, cardboard-boxes, tubes of glue and buckets of paint. He didn’t quite know how to begin; he had only bought what several websites suggested and had returned home. Killing time really wasn’t his strong suit. He didn’t know how long he stood there as a message came in. What r u doing tin-can? Gavin laid stretched out on his sofa, head hanging over the edge stretching his neck tense from work and bad posture. He held his phone in front of his face in a position that could as well be yoga. Enjoying my vacation in piece and silence, Nines send back, picking up a plank trying to “see” something in it like the articles had described. Aw, come on, what did I disturb that has you this pissed? Gavin grinned at the screen. It would be fun to get to know a more personal side of the toaster. What had him so frustrated? I’m trying to find a hobby, as you instructed me. A hobby different to making fun of you. Nines laid the plank down. There had to be easier ways. He grabbed the cardboard and stared at it with his best interrogation face. Oh, baby’s first hobby? Can I come over? Gavin didn’t want to miss Nines stumbling into humanity at any cost. For what reason? The android put down the cardboard too. Gavin coming over was something he wanted to avoid. Not to get it wrong, he liked the guy. It was pleasant to work with him and he actually was a nice conversationalist once he had completed his Gavin-English dictionary. But having him over to watch him fail a seemingly easy task wasn’t how he had planned his day to go. Hey, I’m human, I have hobbies. Maybe I can help you. Gavin wasn’t dumb, he realised the RK900 wanted his distance. But by God, if Gavin wasn’t a stubborn pain in the ass. And on top of that all: bored. Fine. Gavin had nearly texted an enthusiastic “hell yeah!” but stopped himself rolling off the sofa and very pointedly not run, just hurry a little, to his room to find something decent to wear.

He arrived at Nines apartment, knocking on the door and having it opened to the android out of his Cyberlife jacket. It was a bit taken aback by that; he had never seen him without it in his life. Maybe that was his idea of wearing something comfortable at home, who would know. ‘Err… Hi!’, Gavin greeted him and was let in with a simple ‘Detective.’ ‘Hey, you know we are not at work, you can just call me Gav- woah.’ Nines had closed the door behind him, leaving him to look into the living room full of wooden planks and other bulky material as well as tools. ‘Hey, toaster, you trying to build all the furniture for someone?’ ‘… No. Is it too much?’ ‘Depending what you want to do with it’, Gavin shrugged, kicked off his shoes to the side of the hallway and hung up his jacket. ‘If you want to re-furniture my brother’s mansion, then it would do I guess.’ ‘I planned on experimenting with basic woodwork and model making’, Nines explained a bit shy. ‘I don’t have anything else to do during the vacation you pressed on me.’ ‘Hey, don’t make me look like I’m the bad guy here. I’m sure Fowler won’t complain having you at the precinct without me.’ ‘He does complain. I went to work this morning and he told me to “go find a hobby”. You said the same to me, so I wanted to at least give it a try.’ ‘You actually went to- you know, never mind. What do you want to build?’ ‘I don’t know.’ ‘Well that’s unfortunate’, Gavin laughed. ‘You should have some idea.’ Nines sighed. He had known it would end in the man making fun of him. ‘If you came here just to see me fail, I would advise you to leave.’ Gavin looked at him startled. ‘Hey, Nines, I came here to help you. I mean it. Sorry that I laughed. It’s just… You prepared to build the Cyberlife tower life-sized with this and have no idea what to do. Normally people start smaller.’

Nines looked at the man marvelling at his mindless creativity. ‘That’s actually a good idea’, he nodded and didn’t pay the frowning human so much as a glance as he started picking up pieces of wood again. ‘What have I-‘ ‘Take a seat, Det- Gavin.’

It was fascinating seeing Nines work away with robotic speed and precision on a wooden block, until a few hours later he had completed a perfect replica of the Cyberlife tower. ‘Wow, that’s super impressive, Nines’, Gavin cheered. ‘It looks exactly like the real thing!’ The android smiled. Whether it was from the [mission successful] blinking in his HUD or from the praise he didn’t know. ‘And what are you going to do next?’, Gavin asked him. To Nines it was clear as day. ‘Why refurnishing your brother’s mansion when you can build a whole city?’

Nines had worked the whole day on his project and recreated belle-island. Gavin had sat there with him the whole time, just watching him and cheering whenever a building or tree was added to the bunch. One time he had ordered take-out and ate it and Nines hadn’t even batted an eye at it. Afterwards he had helped, gluing the buildings to a plate the android had cut to without doubt resemble the exact soil conditions over there. The man had left him only late in the night yawning and thanking him he had been allowed to come over. Nines accepted it, knowing well he should have been the one thanking him.

The next days he tried out a lot of different hobbies. Later, when he had made his mind up about how much he liked the different activities, he would continue with his projects. Gavin had only been there for some days and activities, enjoying his vacation only to come over when he was bored. Nines had begun caring after plants he had bought. He started cross-stitching. He took up cooking on a day Gavin was over for the practical reason of having someone to taste it only of course. He had tried puzzles, singing and foreign language learning. When it had come to magic tricks Gavin had been there as an audience for him. The last activities on his list were bread baking and pottery.

Baking was something simple, without much reward for him except for a nice smell. So it was on the same day he unpacked clay and set to work on a simple vase. He started up the electric potter’s wheel and started, fascinated at how the clay changed under pressure. Until he experimented too much with pressure and speed and the whole thing came suddenly flying at him landing across his chest. So much for pottery…

Frustrated he had been so stubbornly determined on trying it the human way without any program-guidance, he stood up to change into a clean turtleneck and wash the one he wore. Interestingly enough his wardrobe was empty. His spare upper-body clothes gone. Nines cocked his head to the side and closed it again. Had he left his spare pair at work? He didn’t care too much about it, as he went to the bathroom and pulled off his shirt to wash the clay away. He could always order new ones from Cyberlife as they had been produced in advance for the army he was supposed to become. When there were two-hundred-thousand jackets with his number on it, he wouldn’t shed any tears over it.

He put more interest in evaluating his experimentations. He disliked pottery. Cross-stitching was relaxing but felt inefficient to him. Caring for plants was too easy. At least with the plants he had bought. Puzzles were too little of a challenge too. Same with learning a new language, as he always could just download another patch. What he really liked had been cooking and building the model city. And doing the magic tricks with Gavin. What was the connection between them? Maybe if he found one, he could discover new hobbies with that trait more easily. He had liked Gavin’s reaction to his card and coin tricks. That was also true with cooking. And if he was honest with himself that too was the case with the model city. With a bit of shock, he realised that maybe he didn’t like these hobbies more than the others. Maybe he just liked that he had company. No that couldn’t be. That was so irrational. That wasn’t like him at all. But it was true.

He was faster out of the door that he could realise he had forgotten to fetch his jacket on the way out. A short drive through town he ended up in front of Gavin’s apartment hacking his lock to be let in. He had to tell him this weird development and needed a human to explain it. As far as he knew a hobby couldn’t be a person. He barged into the living room to face a terrified human wearing- ‘Is that my jacket?’ ‘I swear it’s not what it looks like!’, Gavin cried out, stumbling over the words. ‘Now I know where half of my wardrobe went’, Nines mused. ‘Wait, how does this look like?’ ‘Ahh, dunno, sorry! You can have it back!’ He scrambled off the sofa while pulling it off hurriedly. He finally got out of his Cyberlife jacket and had the seams of the turtleneck between his fingers as Nines gently put one hand on top of his with a pained look on his face. ‘Keep that on… please.’ ‘Err… okay. This is awkward as hell, sorry. Wait- half your wardrobe? I stole two things…’ ‘I don’t have to change. I don’t sweat. And my clothes never… They rarely get dirty.’ ‘Okay, we definitely have to go shopping someday’, Gavin uttered, still uncomfortable with being caught. Nines wanted to disagree, but then closed his mouth at the realisation that would mean he got time to spend with Gavin. So, he nodded. ‘Okay, after that weird start, what did you break into my home for anyways?’, Gavin asked. Nines straightened his back. ‘Is it possible for a hobby to be a person?’ The human laughed. ‘Heh, well, normal people would call that friendship or something, but… maybe? Why?’ ‘I tried out every hobby I had on my list. In the end I compared them all to find my favourite. I found out I had to add one.’ ‘Really? Then come on, tell me! What is it?’ ‘You.’

#detroit become human #dbh #Reed900 #RK900 #Gavin Reed #Ok focus this is a story about clothes and people wearing the clothes of their SO(s) and whatnot #instructions unclear googled human hobbies #Just so you know Gavin's hobby is Nines too.#And now to the today you learned: cleaning shirts doesn't work with polymer clay I still have a stain on my chill-shirt #looks like a damn tooth paste stain too #sometimes being an artist and a human disaster coincides so who cares

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thequlturecritic · 5 years

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QULTURE’S TOP 20 SERIES OF 2018

20. BUSY TONIGHT

You guys! Good energy is, like, totally in right now. And it’s never going away. You may know her from Freaks and Geeks, but I know her from Cougar Town as CC’s fun-loving, super-supportive sidekick. When you watch Busy Phillips on her cheeky, positive-vibes only E! talk show, a sense of “we’re all in this together” and “being kind to one another” is definitely a recipe for demolishing disaster. Remember how major Chelsea’s career became because of what so many probably considered a silly little talk show… well. I’m not a fortune teller or anything, but I could totally see Ms. Phillips taking over the universe. I want to be one of her minions. Cheers to another leading lady of late night!

19. THE VOICE

I’ve always been anti-reality competition shows when it comes to singing, only because I’m a total snob when it comes to what I subject my ears to. My musical tastes are versed and varied, but I still am pretty picky about who I let in to my drums, mostly because I need it to stimulate an eargasm and coincide with my life’s soundtrack. When American Idol launched, I definitely was enamored with Kelly Clarkson’s powerful vocals, but I still kept the close mind that an artist is discovered naturally, not “created” by producers with the backdrop and illusion that AMERICA gets to vote and pick the winner. Ah, who knows, maybe they do… I would just never take the time out to vote. HOWEVER. When I found out Kelly was going to be a judge on The Voice, which is a whole separate animal than Idol, I was shitting my pants with glee, because she really is such a goddamn force of fucking nature. Her spirit is overwhelmingly angelic and I simply love everything about watching her. Last season’s competition was magical, at least for me, perhaps because it was the first time I really got to experience the message and place the show has in the universe. It really is inspiring and lovely to see how much these artists themselves care for the teams they build and the individuals they want to see grow – regardless of whether or not it leads to fame. Alicia Keys and Kelly Clarkson’s dynamic was really something special that inspired me in so many ways.

18. COMEDIANS IN CARS GETTING COFFEE

I love nothing more than a loose format, sans makeup, realistic conversation between famous people. Talk shows rock and all, but there’s something to be said for two people we all know and (often) admire, getting together and doing something that, ya know, regular people do! Like… go out to breakfast. I was never a fan of the Seinfeld sitcom, mostly because when it was popular it was kinda over my head and nothing that interested me. I’d probably be more inclined to watch and enjoy it now because of how much Veep has made me adore Julia-Louis Dreyfus and now much Jerry Seinfeld’s Netflix series about him… getting coffee… with comedians… has made me adore his admiration for vintage cars, honesty in humanity and one of the most important things we all seem to forget sometimes – which is to LAUGH! We live in such politically charged times, and while I get how important it is to talk about the very things we were always brainwashed to believe were impolite to talk about, we also need to be able to make jokes and not be so sensitive about everything. Ya heard?

17. AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL

Oh how I love me some Tyra, but it seems the future is all about Ashley Graham. Yet again – another fucking beautiful superhuman. I am really starting to hate that people even think of someone as “plus size”, but hey, it’s the world we live in. All I see when I look at her is someone with a whole lot of personality, gorgeous features and a personality that you’d be crazy to not gravitate toward. She is living proof that good vibes, energy and kindness (in the fashion industry?! How dare you!) go a long way. Tyra and Co. are doing such a bang-up job sending young women empowering messages about feeling safe in their own skin by infusing all shapes, sizes, colors and archetypes. This cycle was full of hilarious moments and was totally unpredictable. Despite her Trump-loving, Republican ways and complaining about being transformed into a “fire-crotch”, I was rooting for Liberty, Rio and Jeana to compete in the Top 3. That certainly evolved as the season went on, mainly because Jeana’s insecurities were getting the best of her (she had alopecia and they convinced her to be the alien-like, bald beauty – which she looked 10X better as vs. wearing wigs) and Rio had the most off-putting temper tantrum that had me and my bestie Carlee yelling at the the TV, “Who da fuck you think you talkin’ to?!” as if we were speaking for Tyra. Be humble, girls! Beauty ain’t just skin deep. At the end of the day, I loved seeing Kyla take the crown, because her activism, big heart and growth really was something special at the end of the day. Keep up the good work! I want 1000 more cycles.

16. SWEETBITTER

Starz’s adaptation of the best-selling novel by Stephanie Danler is short, but bittersweet. Ella Purnell is a breakout star, headlining the cast of unknowns who are all as equally as fantastic. I think that’s one of my favorite things about it (Caitlin Fitzgerald, in particular, who definitely has that thing) – how naturally gifted the entire cast is. Purnell stars as Tess, an All-American girl from bumfuck who makes her way to New York City to chase the dream, even if she has no idea what it is yet. Any of you who have worked in the service industry as a waiter or waitress will appreciate the authenticity of how intimidating, grueling and chaotic the industry can be… but how much fun it can be once your shift is over.

15. MANIAC

What is Netflix’s limited, vivid, disturbing, funny, emotional rollercoaster about? My brain is exploding from trying to analyze. Typically, in each episode, I get so lost in the perfection that is Emma Stone, I’m completely enthralled by how inspiring it is to watch one of our most exceptional young talents only seem to get better and better. It’s also always a pleasant surprise to see someone like Jonah Hill continue to prove himself as truly versatile. Remember when these two were just getting into stoner cinema and taking over the shelves at Blockbuster, during their Superbad days? Justin Theroux, plus. Sally Field, super-plus. Julia Garner (also of Ozark), a star on the rise! It might make you feel a little crazy while watching, but hey, we all go a little mad sometimes.

14. SHARP OBJECTS

Gillian Flynn’s book to big screen success with Gone Girl made a lot of us anxious to see what would be translated next. Following the trend of mini-series, binge-worthy greatness and big stars coming to the “small” screen, HBO announced Amy Adams would star in Sharp Objects, a dark, sultry murder mystery set in the swampy south that co-stars the amazing Patricia Clarkson – one of my absolute favorite actors. I’ll never forget when I “discovered” her, in Lisa Cholodenko’s High Art, one of my all-time faves. There’s a similar hypnotism with the limited series which also features a deliciously naked Chris Messina, and, of course, the direction of the man I’d say is pretty much cinematic perfection these days – Jean Marc Valee. If you have not yet seen Dallas Buyers Club, and another all-time favorite of mine, Wild, you are missing out. I’m assuming you have watched all of Big Little Lies once or twice, and can’t wait for season two next year. Neither can I. These are the people doing AWESOME awesome things in Hollywood.

13. AMERICAN HORROR STORY: APOCALYPSE

So, I’m always back and forth with AHS. I always love how visually stunning it is, but some seasons either lack substance or are literally just too fucking freaky for me to engage. I can not even set my eyes on Freak Show, thought Cults was too gory and scattered (although fresh off of the Trump presidency was a possible prediction of the future if we don’t all get our shit together) and definitely didn’t even give that Roanoke one a chance. The first two seasons rocked, and Gaga slayed in Hotel, but being that I love witches (Hocus Pocus, Witches of Eastwick) I have to say Coven is my favorite season. I love every Farmiga in life, Precious’ Gaborey Sidibe always makes me laugh and Emma Roberts is a rock star. How gorgeous?! She’s also such a little asshole in the best way. She’s someone I can picture punching me in the face, and I’d invite her to. Apocalypse is the best infusion of boy/girl magic and the ultimate comradery casting wise – as what could make for a perfect finale for the series ties all of Ryan Murphy’s brilliance together. That’s just my opinion – because I think a great series needs to know when to wrap it up, but these days everything is all about milking everything to the last drop, so… idk.

12. THE CONNERS

Roseanne returning was definitely the best of the best in reboot land, until her big mouth got her fired from ABC and launched The Conners, which features the entire cast minus a dead mother. I still respect her as an artist and will always love when TV wasn’t so linked to the Twitterverse, but these days I guess everyone really does have to be super careful about the shit they say – especially when we should know better that racism isn’t cool. It’s such an odd thing, because Roseanne was always so controversial, brave with their material, and was one of the first shows to have an out lesbian comedian/actress and character (the great Sandra Bernhard)… so… idk. That Sarah Gilbert though… she’s somethin’ special.

11. THE GOOD PLACE

Kristen Bell!!!!!!! That’s all. Ok, well, that’s not all… because Ted Danson is equally as amazing. Who wouldn’t love someone married to a dame like Mary Steenburgen?! I’ve been a fan of his since Three Men (and a Little Lady!). The diversity, quick wit, modern spin on the classic sitcom and concept behind this hit NBC series reminds us of why the network is always killing it when it comes to delivering quality, quantity and maintaining its colorful edge. I’m surprised I didn’t get into this show when it premiered, as season 4 approaches and the Globes, and surely the Emmy’s now are getting into recognizing genius when they see it. This show is filled with all the good feels! Maybe Heaven really is a place on Earth.

10. WILL & GRACE

When the reboot of W&G first returned to NBC, I was a bit underwhelmed by some of the writing. It seemed forced and a bit insecure – but it just took a few episodes for them to really get back in the swing of things and season 2 of the return is really on point. Debra Messing is better than ever (congrats on a Globe nomination!), as are Eric, Megan and Sean Hayes – who I’ve always greatly admired because of, what I like to consider his “big break” – the film, Billy’s Hollywood Screen Kiss. Growing up gay, Will and Grace was a trailblazing, extremely important and relevant show to so many of us because there wasn’t much of that on TV. But I’ll always remember that adorable indie of Sean’s. He should make more movies! I love him in Pieces of April too!

9. I LOVE YOU AMERICA: with SARAH SILVERMAN

Sarah has always been my absolute favorite comedian. Jesus is Magic is probably one of the most brilliant stand-up comedy feature films I’ve ever seen (are there many of those) combining music, comedy, political satire, sexually inappropriate and explicit linguistics… nothing is off limits. From jokes about AIDS, Martin Luther King Jr. and the Holocaust, to her dead grandmother’s rape to pussy jokes about child lesbians she’s related to. On her new Hulu series, Silverman takes a tour of the great country we live in, United States of A, talking to Trump supporters, men and women of all colors, shapes and sizes and makes an honest, unbiased, non-judgmental effort to deliver an intellectual perspective on all things current and heated in the minds of many. I love her condescending approach, ability to keep her cool, remain true to herself and do something important with her career. It’s a humbled and divine dose of reality that I think we all need, as at the end of the day she’s basically trying to unite us and get people to understand that despite our differences, respect and kindness can truly inspire change.

8. POSE

First of all – watch Paris is Burning, if you’ve never seen it.

I remember when I worked for the super cool East-coast indie video chain, TLA Video, it was one of the most popular rentals in our Gay and Lesbian section, as it should be. It’s a classic documentary that captures the heart, sole and strut of African American LGBTQ culture during the AIDS epidemic, when being a queen and going to the balls would begin to define what FIERCE meant for a generation. (Play: Azealia Banks, Fierce). It’s one of RuPaul’s favorite movies and certainly inspiration for Ryan Murphy’s vivid and heartfelt FX series starring Evan Peters, James Van Der Beek, Kate Mara and a wonderful assortment of newcomers including the fetch, fierce, versatile and gorgeous MJ Rodriguez, Dominique Jackson and (MY FAVE) Indya Moore.

7. CAMPING

Ever since 13 Going on 30, I’ve known Jennifer Garner was a unicorn. She has that innate ability to charm, impress and entertain us with charisma and natural comedic talent. When it comes to the American adaptation of the Brit series Camping, developed for HBO (in part with Girls’ master Lena Dunham), the team surely arranged the most perfect blend of talent for both behind and in front of the camera. Garner brings the most complicated and hilarious nuances to her character and proves she is more than capable of leading a most diverse and perfectly perfect blend of talent.

6. OZARK

Janet McTeer!! OMG! This woman is amazing and really the force that makes the sophomore season of the hit Netflix drug smuggling/money laundering/gangsta livin’ series all the more bombastic. Sure, Jason Bateman continues to be awesome in every way, but the women on the latest season (even the creepy old meth lady who wants a baby at 99) really slay and own the show, keeping us on the edges of our seats and beyond impressed with how hard anyone with a vagina is proving that they are taking over the world these days. As if we needed more reasons to be obsessed with Laura Linney – she takes her character to new heights, getting more screen time and really being thrust into a more evolved dynamic – sort of how Robin Wright does on House of Cards. As though the audience was more drawn to the female than the male lead the series was built around. But Janet McTeer?! Holy fuck, Janet McTeer. She’ll make your skin crawl and keep you up at night… binge-watching.

5. THE AFFAIR

Showtime’s scandalous, suspenseful and intricate portrait of love, marriage and infidelity has been one of my must-see series since its debut. The entire cast is pure magic, especially the four leads – Dominic West, Ruth Wilson, Maura Tierney and Joshua Jackson. I’m constantly lobbying for Tierney, who continues to blow my mind with everything from those perfect, pouty lips to the way she can make my heart melt with a single tear. Last season, the twists and turns were so unexpected – something so refreshing these days when it comes to storytelling – that none of us could’ve ever seen coming what we now have to go into season five knowing (and grieving with, in my case). This is one of of those shows that stands tall from start to finish, and continues to inspire the way character and perspective is conveyed, as well as how we process it ourselves as an audience. I’ve always been fascinated by the same story being told through different goggles – kind of like in The Rules of Attraction, or Go. I can’t wait to see how this show wraps up, as I am pretty certain we move into the final act, which in itself is always a great quality for a series to know when to wrap it up.

4. HERE & NOW

Alan Ball, oh how I love thee. In the evidence of his brilliance, my affection toward Ball’s beautiful writing and ability to conduct such a beautiful cinematic symphony began with Six Feet Under, as it did most. If ever there were a perfect start to finish series… Rare is the artistic bird who can take such a celebrated drama and weave the social and political issues into a horror series – which is what he did with the addictive True Blood, a show that I would find myself equally hypnotized and aroused by. Ball’s latest gem is yet again a celebration of why we love HBO, his observant mind and heart, and ability to recognize genius when he sees it, in regard to casting. The always wonderful Holly Hunter and Tim Robbins headline a cast of brave, beautiful talents – including the tiny miracle that is the birth-child of Kyra Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon, Sosie, who is one of my favorite actors/characters in this captivating new drama that celebrates all the feels of our current reality. It’s a mixed blend of understanding the human condition and how people of all walks relate to one another while truggling with matters of the heart and psychological warfare.

3. RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE

For ten seasons now, Queen of Drag, RuPaul Charles has been taking her dynasty and giving it a royal upgrade every season with eye-popping elements that consistently allow this groundbreaking competition series to be one of queer and pop culture’s most celebrated. From the guest judges (Season X premiered with a Farrah Moan-esque Christina Aguilera dolled up for all the queens to gag over, which they did – myself included) to Michelle Visage’s dazzling eyewear collection to the costumes to the casting and the challenges – which get more and more innovative – Rupaul’s Drag Race has become a small empire that has the promise to spinning into so many different types of series and assure celebrity drag careers are a thing of the future, now more than ever. I loved the queens this season, especially my future husband Kameron Michaels (beautiful inside and out, boy or girl) and the well-deserved winner Aquaria. This was the second season in a row for me (I haven’t seen a lot of the previous seasons) where Ru got it absolutely perfect. I’m also a huge fan of Vice’s The Trixie and Katya Show which you should get into as well!

2. THE MARVELOUS MRS. MAISEL

All of the hype surrounding the Golden Globe & Emmy winning Amazon Prime series starring the incomparable Rachel Brosnahan as Mrs. Maisel, is the type of perfection that isn’t all-talk. Everything you’ve heard about this hilarious gem of a binge-worthy comedy is true: the costumes, the production design, the brilliant performances, directing and top-notch writing is on trend with celebrating everything we love about women in the world right now, and the time capsule reminds us of how far everyone has come marching to the beat of optimism and fighting for equality. I’m so happy the great Alex Borstein has been honored and been receiving praise for her work, and rightfully so, as she steals scenes from the great Maisel herself in the latest season. It’s truly one of the best watches out there, so get into it!

1. SCHITT’S CREEK

What started out as a little Canadian sitcom from a then unknown Pop TV, has since become a pop culture phenomenon and one of the small screen’s most celebrated, quoted and adored comedies out there. In Season four, we continue to follow the Rose’s on their journey of personal growth, going from riches to rags in a small bumfuck town where they clearly stick out like a redneck tooth fairy for plenty of good reasons. We already knew Catherine O’Hara and Eugene Levy were totes brilliant, but every season I grow more and more enamored with how crazy talented Dan Levy & Annie Murphy are. Their nuances, the way the arcs of their characters have evolved… it’s like their learning from two comic legends and its working for them every step of the way. This is truly already an iconic, feel good show that is spreading such messages of love and beauty throughout society. Loves it!

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supere1113 · 5 years

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The Artist In Me - Track 6: Gifted Alien

Here in the album lies a palpable tone change. We're 5 tracks in, and I wanted the first five tracks of TAIM to be sort of a mirror to the 5 tracks that make up Identity, as they are transcendent projects: TAIM explores the ideas that Identity lays the foundation for. This was a happy coincidence, but those five tracks almost mirror Identity in length, too! Just 2 or 3 minutes difference, Identity being longer. They ALSO mirror each other in the sense that they are kind of an exposition of me, my beliefs, my core and my values. 1) Inspiration is your friend. Love it. 2) "I can hang out with my friends, the next day, I'll be fine with reading books at my house!" Ha ha ha! 3) I'm multi-talented, and I do what I want. "And you can, too!" 4) I have big dreams, and I want to achieve them all. And 5) Imma stay original, Imma stay authentic, I tell my story, and you can come along for the ride! (I kinda set you up for what comes next in that last one ha ha ha!)

I also put a tone change here to signal a switch in the narrative at this point in the album. I go from telling you about myself and things about me, to telling you stories about my life as a preteen after I got all those values and what I experienced that defined that era of my life... while also telling you one more thing about me. I'm on the Autism spectrum.

In this, the very heart of the album, I tell you about my developmental make-up. I tell you that I am autistic. High-functioning autism is what they call mine now. If you personally know me, or have seen any of my content online, this may surprise you because you're probably thinking, "Evan never seemed autistic to me." I'll get to that in a second. Anyways, I got diagnosed when I was in 4th grade, but my mom didn't tell me until I was 11 (it was called Asperger's Syndrome at the time, but the people who diagnose it have put all of the different types of autism under the umbrella of Autism Spectrum Disorder, or autism for short since then, so I'll call it that since it's not 2009 anymore. Technicalities). Michael Jackson had died that same year she told me and that really affected me deeply. It had never happened to someone I cared that much about. Amidst that loss, I was... "gifted" with this new information as well.

My perception of autism has changed over the years, and I see it differently than I did then. But at the time, I was really confused about what that means to and for me. I didn't know how to make sense of it, how to perceive it. I was led to believe that I was like everyone else mentally, and then my mom tells me that I'm not, but in fact, markedly atypical from other kids, other people. I could write a book on autism and how to notice it in minorities, but the most prevalent "symptoms" (I hate that word) you can find in me are that I struggle to make and especially maintain eye contact. It's scary and really just... overstimulating to observe all the features of the human face. Even the moon is terrifying to look at sometimes because it looks like a giant abstraction of a human face floating in the sky! Doesn't that sound scary?! I also was born without a "social chip" in my brain if you will. "How is he able to be so nice and mannerable and perceptive without a social chip?" You can't really tell on the surface because I learned how to socialize early on, but I had to learn it like I learned math and science and reading. I'm an incredibly fast learner, so I've gotten really good at it, but socializing will never be second nature to me. Always a weird art that every other human likes to do, and I learned how to do it because I want to connect with said humans. For nearly 40% of my life, I was overtly enthralled by the Titanic. Everything about her (you can tell my enthusiasm as I address the ship as a she. This ship is my everything). The circumstances behind her sinking, the arithmetic of the dead and the survivors, the morals of the passengers, how the disaster affected human history, random facts, and most of all, her technical specifications and visual appearance. And the (in)accuracy of the many movies made about her. She's the reason I'm a designer. How's that for defining a kid's life?! For most of my childhood, I spoke mostly about Titanic and it annoyed a lot of people to hear me talk back then. The thing is, I didn't pick up on the fact that they felt that way. That's Autism. Right there. Many people "on the autism spectrum" as were categorized, are also very smart and typically skilled and blessed with some sort of talent, or multiple talents in my case. I know I'm not the only one like that, either. Michelangelo and Sir Isaac Newton were autistic as well.

So after mom told me about that, I had connected all the dots between my behaviors. So the big question became, "What am I?!"

In postmodern society, kids and honestly everybody are led to perceive diagnosable developmental differences or so-called "disabilities" as just that - disabilities. So I slowly began to believe that something was wrong with me. It became weird to have great gifts, to have a vast collection of knowledge in your head about this one thing that you're interested in. To have trouble socializing and blending in, all because God made your mind to function differently than everyone else. I wasn't mad at God, I just confused about the whole situation... and that's what this song is about. Whew!

The musical ideas explored in Gifted Alien stem mostly from hip hop of the early to mid 1990s. Boom-bap and G-funk stuff mostly. A lot of 2Pac and Biggie influences, also some gospel sauce in that mix, too. Donnie McKlurkin, Kirk Franklin/God's Property, all that. Cool stuff.

I think that Gifted Alien is the most important song on this album because of its message and the fact that it sheds light on something that isn't really discussed to the point of people having a significant understanding of it. Autism. Also minority autism. Black autism. You don't see very many musical artists talking about this stuff in pop songs or songs made for the mainstream. So if you want to share only one song from this here album, let it be this one if you like it. I want so desperately for other autistic people, regardless of age or ethnicity, diagnosed or undiagnosed, that they are not alone. I hear them, and I'm speaking for our shared community.

Hi. I'm Evan, and I am a gifted alien. And I love you personally. ❤

You can listen to Gifted Alien here if you want. This link will take you to wherever you listen to music. YouTube included. ❤

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its-just-like-the-movies · 6 years

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I Heart Huckabees (04, A-)

Why this film?: Because I’ve heard too many good things about Huckabees to pass up the chance to watch it for a project, though I might have gone for a different film had I known about the smallness of Jenkins’s part beforehand. I’d like to say Flirting with Disaster, Let Me In, and Bone Tomahawk were the runners-up, but it was over once I saw that Huckabees was in his filmography.

The review: What’s the meaning of life? What’s the point of it all, in a world that can be both incredibly generous but perhaps even more cruel? Who are we, and how are we not ourselves, and how are we connected to the people and things and universes around us? I Heart Huckabees is premised on these questions, with a plum mix of earnest exploration as its protagonists undergo severe identity crises and rivalries, as well as the utter absurdity of these questions and the length folks will go to to engage with them or avoid them entirely. All of this is wrapped in an ensemble comedy stuffed to the nines with delightful performances, a bananas script, and some wittily used technical elements, every artist contributing their own distinctive flavor to the film while operating within an impressively light tone and assured directorial hand from David O. Russell. Everything looks effortless, and yet the seams never show or get tangled in each other even as the film hops between sincerity and skewering, never coming off cruel or too serious with its heady subject matter.

Jason Schwartzman is our entry point into the film, as an environmental activist and poet names Albert Markovski who believes that running into the same African teenager three times over the course of two weeks is definitely a sign of something. Scrambling to figure out what it could possibly mean, he hires Existential Detectives Bernard and Vivian Jaffe to help him out, though it becomes pretty obvious that his request won’t work out for a number of reasons. For one, the detectives don’t see this as a meaningful coincidence, and they start worrying that Albert is choosing to prioritize this over the far more serious and impending threat that his activist group is about to become victim to corporate takeover from the superstore chain Huckabees, spearheaded by the charismatic Brad Stand. Even as their methods for Albert to connect to himself - and by extension, the universe - prove effective, their philosophy about the beautiful interconnectedness of all things do not give him the answers he wants and drive him further towards the allure of Caterine Vauban, a French nihilist who may have already turned one of the Jaffe’s clients to her way of thinking. Soon it seems as though most of the important people in Albert’s life are involved in this case either as new clients or people of interest, and it’s never entirely clear how much progress any of these investigations are making.

All of this reads as a dizzying amount of plot to traverse inside of a film waxing philosophical about the purpose of existence, so thank god for the film’s oddball sense of humor, alternating between earnest contemplation and having a laugh at how ridiculous all of this actually is. Dustin Hoffman, wearing a hideous oversized gray bowlcut of a wig as Bernard Jaffe, can shove Jason Schwartzman’s confused but eager client into a human-sized gym bag to help Albert unlock his connection to his own subconscious, and it’s allowed to be an insightful step forward to the man’s self-actualization and just plain silly. Conversations with the universe are realized at a level just above basic graphic design skills as characters inhabit fake environments and have their faces disassembled into rectangular floating bits that intermingle with other bits of other faces. The same swimsuit photo of Jessica Lange floats in a black void with whole or disembodied characters who repeat the same phrases directly into the camera over and over again. One technique to connect to your innermost self is called Pure Being, and is performed by whacking yourself in the face - by yourself or others - with a giant rubber ball until enlightenment is achieved. This does not stop a firefighter named Tommy Corn from falling into an even deeper pit of despair than the one his nihilistic ideologies were already courting, and he expresses his dissatisfaction by turning his hose on his fellow firefighters rather than the blaze they’ve already put out without him. Sometimes the film’s best joke is simply to put Vivian Jaffe in the middle ground or background of a frame as she’s following a lead, and sometimes that joke is made even funnier by showing Caterine Vauban skulking behind her with no one seeming to notice her.

But these examples lead more towards the silly than to the sincere, and the heart in I Heart Huckabees is more than worth defending, especially since it blends so well with the eggheaded comedy that the film somehow carries off light as a feather. Tommy Corn’s drop into despair is treated with the same level of care as Albert Markowitz’s, as Brad Strand’s and his girlfriend Dawn Campbell undergo their own reckonings after Brad hires the existential detectives purely as a slight against Albert and with no belief they’ll accomplish anything until they confront him about the persona he’s constructed for himself at work. “How am I not myself?” he asks, and which Bernard and Vivian parrot back at him, turning over the statement while gently mocking it after Brad had been so cheerily resistant to the mere concept of everything the Jaffes stand for. This statement is made even more dizzying not just by the corresponding crises of everyone else but perhaps most weirdly dramatized by fans, boys we’ve met before, getting autographs from an advertiser on photographs of the woman who had that position before her a few scenes after Brad makes this declaration. Caterine Vauban may be bottomless wellspring of nihilism, but she’s still able to provide a massive insight into Albert’s neuroses once he accepts her tutelage, though she’s just as willing to stir up trouble for the sake of proving a point. By comparison to her immediate action, the Jaffes come across as both the infinitely cuddlier option but perhaps less effective as they force clients to come to terms with startling truths about themselves, their rejoinder that it will all work out because everything is in sync with everything else seeming less concrete next to Vauban’s insouciance and conviction. The battle for Albert’s soul, dichotomized between the universal interconnectivity of the Jaffes and the universal emptiness of Vauban, is fought between two worthy opponents, and yet the film concludes with Albert and Tommy having found solace in a place outside of both worldviews that Albert would nevertheless have discovered without them.

It is tremendous that any film is able to find such a welcome solace between the absurd and the intelligent, earnestly exploring its very conceptual ideas about the world while still finding room to set that all aside and make fun of what these folks are doing to themselves for the sake of understanding themselves or refusing that understanding. Jon Brion’s score is operating on this wavelength, floating between loony and contemplative like a Regina Spektor album and deliriously entertaining throughout. It’s snazzily edited, shot with elegant simplicity, and smartly dressed its characters for the job they have, unless they’re wearing a bonnet in complete repudiation of said job. As bananas as I Heart Huckabees frequently is, David O. Russell and Jeff Baena have written it so that we’re always able to track what’s going on narratively and philosophically, giving the actors hilarious lines and even more hilarious characters for them to follow through so many spiritual crises. It’s miraculous coherent in tracking long-term arcs and one-scene scenarios, in glorious tandem with Russell’s direction and the enervating efforts of the cast. And what a cast it is; everyone in tune with a bizarre and slippery tone while contributing their own flourishes to difficult material. Jason Schwartzman is an ideal straight man for the film’s wackier characters to bounce off while charting his own arc, and Lily Tomlin and Dustin Hoffman smartly alternate between being the voice of reason and absolute loons. Isabelle Huppert is ideally cast as Caterine Vauban, crafting an unsettlingly poised and competent woman yet wholly in on the joke of a character whose dialogue reads like a parody of a Michael Haneke film. Jude Law and Naomi Watts are alarmingly chipper and even more alarmingly frayed as the corporate yuppy and his model girlfriend whose lives are unexpectedly changed by the arrival of the existential detectives, though her transformation is more sudden and pronounced than his is. Actors confined to only a few sequences like Richard Jenkins, Jean Smart, Talia Shire, Tippi Hedren, and Shania Twain are just as compelling as the primary cast members in the time allotted to them, but the very best, most brilliant performance comes at the courtesy of Mark Wahlberg as Tommy Corn, whose inability to get right with the universe is the funniest crisis of them all but just as weighty as the film’s most earnest breakthroughs. It’d be the kind of performance that’d make someone rethink their perceptions about an actor if his career wasn’t littered with so, so, so many nothings, but this is still the kind of artistic achievement that few actors can just pull out of their hat. The ensemble work is almost endlessly delicious, but Wahlberg has the honor of being its crowning achievement.

As much credit is owed across the board, none of this would be possible without Russell’s directorial vision. His handling of actors, juggling of tone, and navigation of theme is so smartly. If I’ve focused too exclusively on how I Heart Huckabees handles its philosophical leanings, its aim is just as sharp with how the game of hypocritical corporate bullshittery is played, how easy it is for lefty activists to get suckered by that game, and how quick they are to fracture without unity of approach even with unity of message. These ideas are able to fully inform its central themes as embodied by the character’s arcs, allowing them to be shaped by their careers and social standing rather than limply hanging off the central storyline. Russell is able to shape all of this without letting his control get in the way or become the actual focus of the film. Huckabees thrives on its looseness and spontaneity, and Russell is able to keep an unfathomable number of elements in play while making them as different as they need to be to rub against each other even as they’re all completely in sync with the overall tone of the picture.

So what does one walk away from when they finish watching I Heart Huckabees? Well, there’s the almost endless barrage of stellar performances, working magnificently with the heady and hilarious ambitions of a writer/director who’s able to balance the zany and the sincere without undermining any of the concepts that the film is contemplating, all while playing the whole thing as completely effortless amidst so many disparate yet magically cohesive parts moving together. Maybe you walk away with news ideas about life, if not new ideas about filmmaking. Maybe you go out and buy a big rubber ball or a human-sized gym bag. Maybe you wonder why there aren’t more films that are able to sustain such a bizarre premise through such an astonishingly light touch and with this much energy coursing through every last second of it. It’s a movie that makes you think about any number of things, sure to provoke any number of responses from the oddball behavior and hardcore debates about the meaning of all things, so get in touch with yourself and the universe to see what you thought of it. Or, yourself. Or, the concept of how no being can view anything outside the prism of their own relationship to it. Or, just have a good time. That’d be good too.

#my posts #my reviews #where were they then?#i heart huckabees

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