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#somebody is snacking on my MAINTENANCE CREW
rentoraanyan · 1 year
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Everybody say hello to Ravioli
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houseofbutta · 4 years
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Birthday Bitch
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It was turning out to be a fairly nice day even though the weather that week had been somewhat unpredictable. The house was uncharacteristically quiet. Days like this weren’t uncommon now that Boogie was often out on the road, leaving the chaos in the house at a minimum.
Ju walked into the kitchen with half-closed eyes, making a beeline for the coffee pot as Deenie sipped from her cup, working on the crossword in the newspaper.
“Good morning to you too, sunshine!” she spoke, without looking up from her task.
“It’s too bright in here.” Ju croaked in her, I-just- woke-up-and-can-barely-find-the-strength-to- speak voice.
“That’s because you’re hungover, sweetie. Again.” Deenie rolled her eyes.
Ju simply didn’t have the energy to go off. She was tired and the days of their heated, short-tempered youth were mellowing out as they all became more civil in adulthood.
“Good.” Deenie smirked, looking up for once from the paper. “Keep that same energy when Boogie gets back.”
Ju scoffed with a chuckle.
“You tell her that too!” “Mornin’ ya’ll” Dejah bounded in, sing-song, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
“The energy needs to come down about 12 million notches, babe” Ju held her head.
Dejah laughed as she opened the fridge looking for the orange juice.
“So Boogie is coming back today, I heard.” Dejah said, sounding skeptical, “It’s been months since she’s even slept here. Last time she came home, she didn’t even realize her Jean Paul Gaultier perfume was missing, since she was only here for a day.”
“You better stop takin’ that girl’s stuff, Dejah!” Deenie warned.
“Boogie don’t miss little shit like that. I only took it because I know she’d say yes if I asked her for it!” Dejah shrugged, before popping some bread into the toaster. “Besides, she’s changed. She seems like, nicer now in a way? I dunno.”
“Fuck outta here, she’s the same Bougie Bitch she always was,” Ju interjected, waving her hand dismissively, “She knows it too. Just because she wrote that weak ass self-help book, she thinks she’s an expert now in, whatever hoodoo, booboo garbage juice meta trend is sweeping the masses. Witchcraft is not a fucking trend, bro. She shouldn’t be playing with that shit.”
“True, Remember that fucking demon situation we had on Halloween, years ago?” Deenie reminisced, “All the windows busted out, it was like a movie!”
“Exactly!” Ju sipped her coffee, slowly finding her energy, “There have been many incidents in this house of paranormal activity, and I swear they all was surrounding her.” “Come on ya’ll know that’s not fair.” Dejah chimed in, turning to face them with her arms folded. “If you had some freaky secret power that could communicate with ghosts or whatever, what  the hell would you do with it?”
“I dunno. Help somebody I guess.” Deenie replied. “Who says I don’t?”
“Nobody, but I’m just saying if it’s a part of you, you probably can’t just turn it off.” Dejah shrugged, pointing a finger at her head and making a mocking “Duh” face at the girls, who scoffed in response.
“Whatever, she’s so full of shit. Even if that bullshit she wrote in that book is real, her personality is still the same, I don’t care what you say, Dejah, people don’t change.”
“Have you read the book, Ju?”
“I started it, but it was trash, so now it’s a coaster on my nightstand.”
Deenie laughed.
“Ya’ll bein’ real shady right now.” “Hold on now, we’re not haters- I’m just saying she comes off high and mighty. That’s all.” “Power will do that to you, maybe.” Dejah said, catching her toast on her plate the moment it popped out, before walking back up to her room while sipping her OJ.
“Or an inflated ego,” Ju sucked her teeth, irritated as her eyes followed Dejah leaving the kitchen,“She gets that shit from Boogie.”
_____________________________________________________________
By the time she’d arrived, it was nearly 4PM. Boogie came nearly crashing through the door, balancing worn Louis Vuitton luggage on her arms, as her little white bichon came running up barking and jumping all over her.
“Down Momo! Ahh! Mama missed you too!” she cooed at the small dog, before announcing, “I’M HOOOOOMMEEE!”
With closed eyes Boogie threw her arms open wide, waiting for a rush of hugs that did not come.
“Hey Booger,” Rai smiled down from the upstairs banister. “What are you doing?”
“Rai! I was...nothing.” Boogie put her arms down looking somewhat embarrassed. “Where is everyone?”
Rai shrugged.
“Around, I guess.”
Boogie pouted. It wasn’t a big deal for her to come home from a long book tour, but it wasn’t unlike them to miss her birthday.
“It’s my birthday today,” she announced dejectedly.
“Happy birthday!” Rai said smiling, and making her way down the steps, when Dejah suddenly burst out of her room, running down the stairs and hugged Boogie.
“Awh!” Boogie laughed, hugging her back. “Thank you both!”
“I have an announcement to make and I wanted to treat everyone to a girl’s day. I have big news!”
“Ooh! OK! I’ll go tell everyone!” Dejah jumped up and down excitedly before running back up the stairs.
“How are things, Rai?” Boogie asked, just as her phone chimed urgently, demanding her attention.
“Quiet, you know. It’s not boring, but since you’re not around as much, Ju goes through these combative moods all by herself and she doesn’t know what to do with that frustration.”
“Psychology suits you, miss.” Boogie smiled, with a fist bump to her little sister.
“Thank you! I’m almost a doctor- when this semester is over, I’m gonna be legit.” Rai beamed, then, slowly, her smile faded, “She misses you. You know that, right?”
“I don’t know anything she doesn’t tell me,” Boogie shrugged.
“Hello, hello!” Desty and Jayti, followed Dejah, Deenie and Xai down the stairs as welcome home hugs made their rounds and they all caught up for a moment before beginning to wonder what the hold-up was with Ju.
Finally Ju emerged from her room, leather-clad black jacket and shoes, dressed to kill.
“You’re finally back.” she chuckled, as she took her time walking down the stairs. “Next time you go, take that little annoying yappy mutt with you.”
Boogie rolled her eyes before hugging her best frienemy with cheek to cheek kisses.
“I missed you too, Miss Salty- Ooh!” Boogie pulled back suddenly, her eyes watering a bit. “You smell like a distillery, Ju, damn! It’s not even after 5!”
“Mind your business.” Ju flicked her wrist dismissively before tossing two pieces of chewing gum in her mouth. “So what are we doing?” “Right! Sooooo! I rented a party buusss!!!” Boogie exclaimed, leading them all outside with open arms. “Tadaaa!” “Wow, just like the old days.” Deenie scoffed, remembering nights past that got so wild, they all wished they could forget.
“No! Not like that, we’re responsible adults now!!” Boogie said as she led them to the vehicle.
The bus driver opened the door to them, and they all entered to see an interior of woodgrain and leather seats. A small mini fridge with wine and champagne and a small assortment of snacks, cheeses, and chocolate.
“Heeyyy! We fancy now!” Rai voiced her approval, before taking a seat next to the snack bar.
“Eee! I’m glad you approve!” Boogie clapped her hands with glee before telling the driver to proceed to the first stop for luxury mani-pedis and massages at the day spa.
As they all settled into the back seats to get comfortable, Rai filled and passed out champagne glasses, proposing a toast.
“To the Buttacreme sisterhood! May we always have  each others’ backs!”
“Cheers!” ____________________________________________________________
“This place is legit!” Boogie  called back to the girls as they waited at the crosswalk,  to cross the street. “Wow, you ladies sure look nice, today.” and older white, gray-haired gentleman commented, looking over their collective outfits.
“Thank you, Mister!” Jayti bubbled, particularly happy with her colorful spring dress of choice.
“Do you mind taking our picture?” Boogie  asked, handing the man her phone, as the light changed. “Sure! Ooh! You all should line up over the lines of the crosswalk, like the Beatles!” he said excitedly,  walking backwards to line up the perfect shot as they crossed the street. “Who are the Beatles?” Dejah whispered, to Jayti, who shrugged, before serving face to the camera.
As they all entered The Pampered Palm: Nail Bar, they were met with the acrid scent of Acetone and Enamel- the combination of a sweet chemical smell that excites the high maintenance part of the human female brain; and there were exclaims of “Yaasss!” and “Okurrr!” that rose from the 8-woman group as the cushy pink upholstery and silver damask wallpaper welcomed them into the lap of luxury.
As half the crew sat to get manis, the others got pedis, and a kind uniformed woman served champagne and mimosas which Ju knocked back in a matter of seconds.
Boogie looked worried. “I’m concerned.” she whispered suddenly to Rai, sitting next to her, sipping slowly from her champagne flute. “She’s fine.” Rai said, before shooting Boogie a sympathetic look, “You know how she is… she’s coping.” Boogie, stole a peek at her friend once again, now on the phone, withdrawn from the present moment and enthralled with pondering what color to paint her fingernails next.
“Have a happy birthday!” Rai insisted, raising her glass,
Boogie sighed, shaking off her dark feelings, before smiling and clinking glasses with Rai.
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After a couple of hours of pampering, they all made their way to the new Pomerado Luxe  Beauty store. As per usual, Boogie went overboard, buying the latest this and that from the  Gisza collection.
“Ladies, get whatever you want!” Boogie laughed, placing her hands on her hips as they all winced, when her store receipt printing from the cash register began to resemble a trail of toilet paper.
They were all much more economical in their choices, even though she was paying.
Xai landed on a metallic pink lipstick, Ju found a red to add to her collection, Desty landed on a spring eyeshadow palette, and everyone only chose one thing, except the baby of the Buttacreme bunch who wanted six. “Dejah!”  Deenie picked the excess glosses and highlighter from her basket. “NO!”
“Boogie said we could have whatever we want!” She frowned.
“Yeah! But out of courtesy, you shouldn’t be greedy!” Deenie reprimanded with a wag of her finger.
“But-” “No buts, put it back and pick ONE!” Dejah began to protest when Jayti gently squeezed her arm and shook her head.
Leaving the store, everyone was smiling and happy with their purchases, except Dejah who fell behind, pouting a bit and feeling irritated by Deenie.
“She gets on my nerves sometimes, Jay,” she confided in Jayti, “Like, you’re not my mom!”
Jayti pulled Dejah aside a moment, holding her shoulders.
“You’re right. She’s not, and she does have that way about her. But D, she has been there for you- for all of us. It’s just makeup. Don’t let it make you too mad, k?” Jayti comforted her.
Dejah rolled her eyes with folded arms, before drawing a deep breath and nodding, agreeing to let go of her animosity toward the woman.
“Good,” Jayti smiled mischievously, “becaaaaaauuuse-”
Jayti suddenly opened her bag to reveal it full of stolen shit.
“Byyytch!!!!” Dejah burst out laughing so loud, the others turned around, wondering what was so funny.
Jayti hastily zipped up her purse while Dejah made some weird ass excuse about a meme she saw on the internet before rushing the procession onward to their next destination.
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La Luz Hotel was situated in the middle of downtown. It was rumored that famous people stayed there all the time, and as they walked into the lobby, they were promptly greeted by the staff.
“Miss Patel! You’re just in time for your surprise party!” The girls snickered and Ju scoffed at the woman looking annoyed.
“Well you just ruined the surprise part!” she hissed.
“I apologize,” the woman looked sincerely confused, “Since she planned it for herself, nearly 6 months in advance, I assumed she already knew about it.”
Her words seemed sarcastic, which further irritated Ju, but the look on the woman’s face was choked up as if she were about to cry. So Ju, backed off, uncomfortably.
“Sorry-Lead the way,” she said, exchanging a  nervous glance with Desty and Xai.
The Suite was on the 34th floor, with high ceilings and party snacks and favors that meticulously decorated the luxury suite.
“Ahh! This is so cool!” Desty  giggled, barely able to contain her excitement.
“So glad you like it!” Boogie laughed, passing out whistles and party poppers to the girls as Xai pulled out her phone to take a pic, “Now Everybody say ‘SURPRISE!’” They played trivia games, danced and talked about the past 10 years of ups and downs they’d all shared- from the happiest moments, to the saddest breakups. They all laughed and cried and caught up from the beginning to the present, resolving past fights and issues that were buried among them all. At that moment, Boogie, busted out the champagne and began pouring glasses for everyone before stating,
“I have an announcement to make,” she said, clearing her voice. “These past 10 years have been such an experience! I’m grateful to each and every one of you for helping me grow into the person I am today! I used to be selfish, spoiled and heartless, but living with you guys helped me evolve into a better person,”
Her voice cracked with emotion and her eyes got hot with tears.
“Thank you so much for being my friends! I’ll always love all of you, so with that, I’d like to announce that I’m  going to be-”
“Married!” Ju shouted, slurring her words, “I fucking knew it!”
“No- I’m actually going to be-” “A lesbian!” She cut her off again.
“Ju, relax,” Deenie, squeezed her arm, prompting Ju to snatch away, stumbling toward Boogie. “Sorry, I’m trying to pretend to be psychic like you do.”
The girls winced at the dig, suddenly backing away, giving the two space, as had happened so many times in the past when a fight was about to break out.
“Ju, what is your problem? You’ve been acting like this all day.”
“You always thought you were better than me- NO! ALL OF US! Just because you had money, and you would flaunt it in our face and pit us against each other and you’re JUST WICKED! Forgive me if I’m not buying the ACT, Boogie! You are the same selfish bitch you always were, with a shiny new coat of paint and a nose job!” “Ooh! Somebody stop her!” Rai interjected as Jayti’s arm shot out to stop her from jumping in. “I didn’t get a nose job!” Boogie lied as her finger self-consciously touched the tip of her nose.
“See? So self-absorbed. That’s the only thing you took from EVERYTHING I just said!? Fuck you, Boogie!”
It was as if in slow motion. The raspberries floating in the bubbly champagne flute hit her in the face first then the drink splashed over her immaculate beat, melting her mascara and eyeliner instantly.
“No. The. FUCK. YOU DID NOT!” Boogie shrieked.
“I think I just did.” Ju said flinging the last remaining drops that were in the glass, at her, to make sure she made her point.
A Table skid across the floor, flipping over. Purple and blonde weave was flying, the thud of them collapsing to the floor sent all the girls into a frenzy trying to break up the fight before the cops were called. The freshly manicured raptor claws were out, and even though there were 5 of them, trying to pull the two apart, they were so heatedly engaged, it was nearly impossible. Finally Boogie  pinned Ju flat on her back, holding down her wrists, which was pure luck combined with the fact that Ju’s drunkenness had made her lose her balance.
“You ARE A FUCKING LIAR!” Ju shrieked, bucking and thrashing under Boogie’s modest weight, when suddenly, Boogie kissed her.
The gang gasped, Rai’s hands flew to the sides of her eyes, shielding her peripherals as her jaw dropped, Jayti looked like she might faint, Dejah’s face contorted with shock and disgust, while Deenie’s hands flew to cover her young eyes instinctively trying to protect her. Desty and Xai however, exchanged a wide-eyed look that  simply prompted them to take another sip of their drinks.
After about 30 seconds of them full on making out on the floor, they finally stopped and looked up at the collectively confused faces of their housemates.
Boogie slowly stood up, lending a hand to Ju, who wobbled to a stand as well…
“So… I guess you’re all wondering, what that was about.” Boogie started.
The awkward, tense silence hung thick in the air, as they were all rendered completely speechless.
“We maybe...hooked up...a few times…” she trailed off.
“WHAT?!?!?” Dejah shouted from behind Deenie’s knitted hands over her face.
“There was this time… with that Australian guy...Tristen… we might have had a threesome.” Ju added in, guiltily.
“WHAT?!?” Dejah exclaimed once again.
“Anyway… after that, things changed a bit between us… We just hooked up, but it didn’t mean anything!” Boogie dismissed.
“Clearly it meant something to ME!!” Ju glared at her, shaking, with tears watering her eyes, when she finally threw her hands up and stormed out of the hotel room, slamming the door behind her.
Boogie reluctantly went after her, and found her standing outside on the hallway balcony of the hotel, smoking a cigarette.
“You smoke now, too?” Boogie jested.
“What do you care?” Ju  dismissed her, flicking ashes to the ground.
“Ju, I’m sorry, if what we did, confused you. I’m not a lesbian. Sure, we tried some shit, but it wasn’t like I made a full commitment to gayness! It wasn’t THAT GAY.”
“I don’t even know what that means!” Ju sneered. “It wasn’t just a ‘few times’ like you’re convincing yourself. I mean, I wasn’t counting, but the fact that I LOST count, means that you’re trying to minimize it to something meaningless.”
“But, you’re not a lesbian either!” “That’s not the fucking point!” Ju rebutted, “You can’t just treat me like one of your little fucktoy boyfriends; use me and leave.”
“Wow, okay, I didn’t use you anymore than you used me!”
“REaALLy?!” Ju snapped, “ because as I recall, I never, not once, came to your room in the dead of night like a stray cat scratching at YOUR door.”
Boogie groaned with exasperation.
“Ju! I wasn’t trying to use you! I just thought we were having fun!”
“It was. Until you broke my heart.”
“I didn’t know!”
“Correction: You didn’t care.” Ju said, grinding the cigarette butt into ash and flicking it over the balcony. “As soon as you started traveling all the time, it was like you couldn’t WAIT to leave and have an excuse not to talk to me. You wouldn’t even answer my calls or texts, and most of the time it only about regular shit, like ‘Bring home some toilet paper.’”
“Ju, I’m sorry!”
“You ghosted me like some fuckboy. You KNOW how my relationships with men have gone… and now you’ve ruined women for me too...”
“Ju, I swear to God, if I had known how you felt-”
“Stop playing coy. You knew how I felt when I left you those dusty, sappy ass voicemails when you were gone. You knew how I felt when I made you come 4 times in one night.You just didn’t want to commit, and I get it. But you can’t just buy back my fucking friendship and, for once, throwing money at the problem ain’t gonna make it disappear, Boogie.”
“Ju…” Boogie reached out touching her shoulder, teary-eyed, when Ju shrugged her off “ I really am sorry…”
“You’re right about one thing: I’m not a lesbian- hell I never even considered myself bi, but what I am willing to admit, is I am damaged. In spite of that, I trusted you, because we were friends, and you made me feel accepted, only to turn around an reject me on the basis that you’re ‘not a lesbian’. I’d never been with a woman before you; how about you, Boogie?
Boogie’s eyes were glued to her champagne stained shoes with guilt.
“Fuck you.” Ju said, with her back facing Boogie as she pulled out another cigarette. “I never want to see you again.”
Boogie, slowly nodded before hesitantly turning around to pull the door open to see cast shadows on the floor scrambling from around the hallway corner, that let her know everyone heard everything.
As she walked back into the suite, everyone was behaving so over the top in trying to act normal, Boogie couldn’t help but call it out.
“I feel so dirty.” she admitted. “Look, guys, I’m leaving… for good. I didn’t want things to end like this,”
“Aww! Boogie” They exclaimed and began coming in to hug her goodbye when she held up a hand, stopping them and backing away toward the door.
“I really don’t deserve it,” she said, teary eyed, “I just wanted one last good memory, for old-time’s-sake, but I’m sorry, ya’ll; I can’t do this… “
“Boogie, wait!” Dejah called out as Boogie opened the door to leave.
“I’ll send for my things. Goodbye.”
As the door shut behind her, the room fell silent with a heaviness that left them all feeling disconnected and hollow. The candy nipples and crumbled BDSM gingerbread men littering the floor along with smashed cupcakes and spilled champagne, prompted them all to begin cleaning up the mess, while humming “happy birthday” in such a somber tone it sounded like a negro spiritual.
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The weeks that followed stretched into a month, and as the weather started to become warmer, the Buttacreme house welcomed a new college sophomore who moved into Boogie’s old room and mostly kept to herself.
The awkwardness surrounding the birthday party, had created a moody tension around Ju, that, at the slightest mention or reference to Boogie seemed to set her off into a funk that would last for days.
Other than that, some normalcy was returning with the intro of the new girl, Kayla, since she was unaware of the drama and simply offered up baked goods to anyone and everyone who was interested.
“She’s cool.” Rai said to Jayti, taking a sip of lemonade as they sat out on lawn chairs in the backyard, soaking up the springtime sun.
“Yeah, she’s so innocent though.” Jayti laughed, “Remember when we were that age?”
“God, I don’t think I was ever so baby-faced in my youth.”
Jayti sighed and opened up her magazine to read up on the latest gossip.
“Oh my god!” Jayti’s jaw dropped.
“What?” Rai looked up suddenly, from her phone.
“House meeting…” Jayti said, flipping the magazine and showing Rai the article.
__________________________________________________________________
It was dark by the time Ju came out of her room. As she bound down the stairs, headed to the kitchen, she saw the entire house, save for Kayla, seated in the living room, surrounding the coffee table, whispering quietly amongst themselves. It looked suspicious to say the least.
“What’s up?” She asked, taking a detour into the living room to see a single magazine in the center of the coffee table.
They all remained silent, not certain how to break the news.
Dejah grabbed the magazine, and flipped to the page, handing it to Ju.
Upon seeing Boogie’s photo, Ju scoffed, pushing the quarterly, back at Dejah, with rejection, when Dejah, pushed it again, for Ju to take a closer look.
“...The 34 year old best-selling author was reported missing on April 6th 2020 soon after she arrived in Japan, when she unexpectedly didn’t show up for a book signing, and subsequent attempts to contact or locate her yielded no results. The police began an ongoing investigation that led them to the local den of Yakuza who are known to use spiritual mediums situationally.
Ichigo Soichirou, the lead detective on Blaire Patel’s case, reported that it “isn’t uncommon for the Yakuza to outsource to a foreigner as they are harder to track.”
April 12th, only 6 days after the initial report, Miss Patel’s body was found in a Freight container at a commercial loading site in Tokyo Harbor. The case is ongoing, suspects are being interrogated and arrests have been made, but the tragedy of Patel’s sudden and violent end has undoubtedly shaken her family and fanbase to the core. Prayers and condolences to the family and close friends of ‘The Ratchet Medium’ author. She will be missed.”
Ju’s breath shuddered, prompting Deenie to stand up and hug her, when she pulled away, hyperventilating for breath.
“She’s….gone.” Ju sobbed.
Desty ran to hug her oldest friend, stroking her hair and whispering comforting words to her, when Ju pulled away, turning her back to them and slowly, ascending the stairs as they called after her, worried.
Once she got to the landing at the top, Desty’s voice called out emotionally.
“JU! We all loved her! Stop pushing us away! We need to heal together!”
Ju’s hand gripped the wooden stair banister, digging her nails into the varnished finish, when she slowly turned her head looking down at the lot of them, standing and looking up at her, with deep concern ingrained into their facial expressions.
“These are the last tears I cry for Boogie.” Ju announced. “Good Riddance.”
With a final wipe of her tears, her footsteps receded and her bedroom door slammed shut; leaving them all  frozen in a moment of time wondering what would happen now?
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havana-story-time · 6 years
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The sound of seagulls were heard over the small ferry that carried passengers from the Mainlands of the city to the small and cozy isles in the distance. A young woman looked out at the edge towards the distance where she saw a silhouette of other islands and a ship poking out of the water, not quite sunken. The sky was a bright blue with a few clouds lazily passing by overhead, a gently breeze picking up the fresh smell of the sea and gently brushing the woman's hair to the side. She lifted up her hand and gently nudged her hair pack to its place and held it there as she leaned onto the railing as she continued to admire the view. Soft footsteps were heard walking on the wooden floors of the ferry as another young woman came over. She was holding up a map, her face scrunched up in thought and a bit of annoyance as she twisted the map this way and that way in her hands. She spoke, but grunted when she didn't get a reply, and went over to the woman and repeated herself once more, a bit louder.
"Red, didn't you hear me?"
The other woman, Red, snapped out of her trance and looked to the young woman. Red saw her sister, Delly, puffed out her cheeks and tap her foot impatiently as she scrunched the map in one of her fists, which she rested on her hips. "I'm sorry, Delly dear. What did you say?"
Delly sighed and shook her head. She had short black hair and wore lots of pink: a small pink pillbox hat, a pink sundress with ruffles and lace, and pink flats. Even her make up was lots of pink: eye shadow, lipstick and blush. "I said: What Isle is where we meet up with Honey and Constance? Where's the Theater?"
Red looked over the map and took out a red marker from her purse and circled a few areas as she explained each one. "Here, the third Isle is where we're landing. It's a big city here, but there's the harbor we're going to. Over here is the theater where the manager will meet us to meet Sally once Constance and Honey arrive. It'll be a few days, but we can look around until then. Let's see..." Red studied the map and flipped over a page where the third isle was shown to be much bigger and detailed. "There's a lot of office buldings here, but there's a few restaurants and hotels here. We'll be staying in one of these while we're here." Red turned to the next page and it showed the second Isle. "This one has a roller coaster, a castle, a pyramid, and looks like lots of places to eat at. I mean, it literally looks like a carnival."
"Oh look! A tower! Maybe there's a princess inside!" Delly pipe up as she pointed to a part on the map.
"Maybe, even better, a three-headed dragon!" Red chuckled and flipped to the last page of the map. "Not much here. Looks like the observatory is the only interesting thing here. That and a ferry. Oh, a lighthouse!" Red smiled and circled the lighthouse on the map. "We could see if we can go there and maybe see what's on the other side? Maybe we can see all of the Isles?"
"Neat! Hey, Red! We're almost there!" Delly pointed out to the distance towards the front of there ferry, where there was a few open docks here and there for the ferry to drop off the passengers.
Once the ferry reached port, Red and Delly got off and noticed a rather large red ship docked a few docks down from where they stood. Red recalled their eldest sister, Constance, said she was sailing with a captain and would be in the Isles within the few days they'd arrive. Perhaps this ship was the same one she was on? As if wondering the same thing, Delly looked over to Red, who nodded, and both headed towards the ship. As they got closer, Red watched as the sailors walked up and down the plank carrying large crates to and from the ship, setting them down in two separate piles as they continued like a trail of ants.
"No no no!" somebody cried out. "Fools! You're bring BACK the cargo we just got! Everybody STOP!!" As if on cue, all the sailors stopped what they were doing as a large figure appeared at the top of the ship. He was a large and round human with a black eye patch over his right eye, two pegged legs, a messy black beard around his face and a large red nose. He scowled at his crew and barked back orders, pointing to one pile of the crates. "The shipment we got from the last trip goes over THERE! And the supplies we need are over THERE!" He lifted up a crate that showed a logo on the box. "THIS is what we're here for! If it ain't got the logo, it's a no-go! Meaning we DON'T put it on the ship!" The crew nodded and scurried to fix their mistake. The captain sighed and noticed the two women watching, giggling from behind their hands. He tugged up his belt around his waist and smoothed out his beard before he wwalked down towards the women.
"Ahoy, lassies! What brings you here? Don' reckon I've seen the like a-you's b'fore!" the captain gave a laugh as his belly bounced up and down.
"Ahoy, Captain!" Delly smiled. "I'm Delly. This is my sister, Red. We were wondering if you had somebody named "Constance" on board?"
"Eh? I knew a lad with his ship bein' called "Constance", a "constant pain in the arse" he always told me. But I don't think I do, now that I thinks about it." The Captain tugged at his beard in thought. "Hm... What do they look like?"
"She's got long brown hair that goes to her waist. And she always has that look like she smelled something bad, like sour milk. She's always wears big hoop earrings, too. Well, last we saw her that's what she looked like." Red took a moment to look around, seeing nothing but men working the docks at the moment. "She said she's sailing with a captain to know the ropes on how to command her own ship."
"Oh! Yeah, she quit."
"What?!" Red and Delly looked up at the Captain in shock. "Quit?!"
"Aye. Well, she's her own Captian now!" the Captain smiled proudly and rested his hands on his hips. "I made sure o' that meself! Helped get her own lil' tugboat to start out with, too!" The Captain nodded and smiled. "Aye, she told me all about her wantin' to sail on her own, man her own ship and after sailin' with me she learned everythin' I know how! Last I heard of her she was headin' this way, sayin' she was gonna see her sisters for a performance. Say, wouldn't that be you two?"
Red nodded. "Yes, actually, she's our older sister. We're a Quartet. Our little sister is supposed to arrive here soon. We're going to perform at the theater here in a few days to sing."
"Oh, really? Yer goin' over to see Ms. Stageplay? I'll have to come by and watch! She keeps sayin' somethin' 'bout "ladies from the actual big ol' city" and droppin' off flyers in everyone's faces." As if on cue, the ship spat out a few flyers from its mouth, which floated down and landed in the water below. "Some of them... literally."
Delly picked up a lone flyer that landed by her feet and looked at it. It featured the sisters in mid song, much like the ones in their flyers back home, but was crossed out from their city to read "INKWELL ISLE THREE'S THEATER" marked in bright red paint. "Hey, this looks like the flyers we have at home. Maybe our manager had extras and had Ms. Stageplay use these instead?"
"Either way, as long as they're getting the word out." Red looked over to the Captain and smiled warmly. "We'd best get going, Captain. See you later!" Red and Delly waved and headed out of the docks and over towards the bustling city.
Delly looked up in awe at the tall buildings, much like the ones back home, but still had room in between them and were more colorful than the dull and boring gray back home. Once they stopped to sit down after arriving at the second Inkwell Isle, they took out the map and looked at the page for the second isle. They saw the tower peeking over the trees, the pyramid, the roller coaster, and the castle from where they stood. The two sisters first stopped to check out the castle, but the owner, a woman named "Baroness VonBon Bon" wasn't expecting anyone that day nor was she expecting visitors, as the guard stated. So, they turned around and left to go check out the pyramid. As they reached the door, a note appeared that read "The Great Djimmi is Out to Lunch!". So, in an annoyed state, decided to try and check out the roller coaster. Alas, it was "Out of Order" and was under a maintenance check at the time.
"Man, this sucks!" Delly cried out quite loudly. Red shushed her sister and looked around to notice a few surprised patrons stopping and staring for a moment before going back to their duties.
"Hey, how about we get a bite to eat? We haven't had anything since we left the Mainlands. I think I saw a malt shop we could try." Red took Delly's hands and walked with her to a restaurant, which really was the malt shop, and both ordered a large banana split to share. The ice cream was made from the sea salt and looked blue in hue, like the sea, and tasted sweet.
"Yummy! This is better than the ice creams back home!" Delly put her hand on her cheek as she continued to eat the ice cream. "It's like we're really tasting some of the sea!"
Red nodded and looked out the window as they continued to enjoy their snack. She wondered about when the other two sisters would arrive. Constance she knew would be arriving within the next few days, certainly before the performance, as she was out sailing and exploring. Honey, her youngest sister, said she would arrive around the same time as Constance. Red recalled Honey saying she'd be on her own for a bit as well to learn some new dances or at least explore a bit herself from a teacher from a far off land and would return in time for the performance as well.
"I hope they're alright..."
Red looked over to Delly and smiled reassuringly. "I know they're fine, Delly. They'll be here in a few days, we'll perform, meet the locals and head home after a few more performances."
Delly smiled back and nodded. "Yeah, you're right. You're always right, Red."
After their meal, Delly noticed it was starting to turn to dusk. "Hey, maybe we can go to the observatory to see the stars later? Maybe we can see Constance's ship from there? Oh! Or maybe go to the Lighthouse!"
"Both sound fun!" Red and Delly soon headed towards the first isle and, thanks to the friendly locals, made way to the observatory. Delly tried to open the door but it was locked, a sign post reading "Closed Until Dusk. Go Enjoy the Sunset! Come back later!"
"Man, what rotten luck!" Delly stomped her foot on the ground in frustration and took out the map again and sighed. "Looks like the lighthouse is our only option. Maybe if we take the boat to it we can get inside?"
As they ventured forth, Delly suddenly screamed in anger when she saw the small boat was not docked but was instead being used in the distance by a few figures, each with a pole in hand, as they fished from it. Delly kicked over a bucket in frustration, luckily nothing was inside it, and stomped off in anger.
"Delly!" Red called out and chased after her sister. Luckily, nobody was around to see Delly's outburst and Red trying to calm her down.
"I hate this place! Everything's closed, we can't get to where we wanna go... I wanna go home!!"
"Delly, calm down! Look, there's plenty of places we can still go to." Red took hold of the map and looked through it. Most of the places were bound to close soon... They could try and watch the sunset or maybe head to the hotel for the night?
"Hey, what's this?" Red looked as Delly pulled a small tab from the corner of the map. It was connected to the third isle's map and was hidden away. How did they even miss it? After they unfolded it, it was a mountain with a large opening leading with arrows to the "CASINO". Delly's lips curled up and she had a large grin on her face. "Let's go," she breathed. With no warning, Delly took Red's hand and rushed to the casino. Out of breath, they arrived at the mountain and the entrance.
"The Casino never closes! C'mon, we'll play a few rounds and have a few drinks.. it'll be fun!" Delly marched on inside the mountain and was in awe when she saw the actual building. It looked like, to her, a castle with a large grinning devil at the top. On one side it had a chess piece that was clearly the King's Piece, more than likely the one where the Devil's office (probably) was.
"Delly, I have a bad feeling..." Red started as she followed Delly into the casino. They were stopped by security once they entered and were asked for their identifications. Once they showed the security guard their id's they were given a raised brow and a smirk.
"Sooo..." the guard dragged. "You ladies are from the Mainlands, huh? What part?"
"Havana." Red replied quickly. "We're from all over, really. Never could settle down in one part."
The guard nodded and gave them both a nod and a smile as he stepped aside, lifting up the velvet rope. After passing through, Delly took Red's hand and smiled. "Oh man, Red, c'mon! Let's play some poker!"
"Now, Delly, listen. There's a lot of high rollera here; they'll try to get you to bet more and more until you're out of money. 'The only sure thing about luck is that it will change.' And 'Quit while you’re ahead. All the best gamblers do.' Those are some things Dad told us, right? We can still have some fun at least. C'mon, let's play a few games."
And with that, Red and Delly went around the casino to play the slots, bet on skeleton horses at the horse races, played a few rounds of poker and ended up at the craps table in the end. It seemed luck was on their side more than some of the others. With each win, they started to draw a crowd. After a few rounds of free drinks, it seemed like life couldn't get any sweeter. Delly tossed another roll and struck another win, causing the crowd to cheer.
"These ladies can't lose!" one patron called out.
With this statement, Red saw a figure appear, clad in a fancy purple suit and bow tie, stroll over towards the sisters. He had a large grin on his face, a thin moustache above his lip, a die for a head with purple pips matching his purple suit. The nose was the single pip and connected to the moustache. Red could smell an intoxicating aroma about him, no doubt a high-class cologne.
"Lady luck must be on your side tonight, ladies. Lookit the crowd you drew in over here!" The die smirked as walked around the craps table and bowed to the sister. It was like he had an heir of royalty about him, or just good practice for doing this for so long. "I'm Mr. King Dice. A pleasure, ladies."
"I'm Delphine, but everybody calls me Delly. This is my sister, Red." Red looked over to Delly and nudged her a little in the arm. Delly ignored her and flashed a sweet smile towards the die man.
"Say, how about we kick this up a notch, maybe to the VIP section of the casino? Higher wages to those who are REALLY lucky." King Dice flashed a smile and suddenly wrapped his arms around each of the sister's shoulders and pulled them close to him. "C'mon, whatdya say? I got a good feelin' about you two."
Before Red could reply, Delly spoke up. "Okay!" And with that, King Dice smirked and guided the sisters, arms now wrapped around their waists, and quickly lead them to a golden elevator that took them up a few floors of the casino. After leading them towards a large set of doors, he released the sisters, straightened out his bow tie, smoothed out his suit and opened the doors. Inside was really what a VIP would see: velvet red chairs versus the worn out and dull brown from down stairs, golden statues, and a lush red carpet heading to a lone craps table in the middle of the room.
"Fancy..." Delly looked over to Red and took her hand as King Dice lead them inside. There wasn't anybody in the room aside from a few casino workers. Some of them looked at the sisters with raised brows, others raised their brows mostly towards Dice, who just smirked and stood where the craps dealer would stand. Some male casino workers, a cigar-like man in a large coat and a larger man with an 8-Ball for a head, chuckled darkly in one corner as they watched from their seats on a velvet red sofa.
"Now, the rules apply here, too, like the rules on the floor. But... my table is higher wages. More risks. I know you ladies can handle it."
"Why bring us here?" Red asked. "I mean, same rules and all that."
King Dice shrugged and leaned his head over to one shoulder and closed his eyes. "Well, would you rather risk your lives down there after a big win? Or have something bad happen to you after you leave?" King Dice smirked and looked at Red, who looked away in reply. "Thought so. Now." King Dice clapped his hands togheter and appearing in his hands were two pink dice with white pips. He handed the dice over towards the sisters. Before Delly could reach for the dice, King Dice closed his fingers over them. "Now. Before we begin... I actually have a confession."
"Oooh, a confession! You're such a sinner, Dice!"
Red looked over and saw the cigar man laugh as he slapped his knee. Dice chuckled darkly in response, his eyes flashing green and never leaving Red's gaze when she looked back towards him. "Yes, sinners are much more fun. To confess, I'm Mr. King Dice. I'm the Devil's right hand man. The Devil is the owner of this casino. Ever since these two brats came about and clubbed the place, things haven't been goin' too well for us. But now that you two are here, things can get a bit better. Word is goin' round that you two are from the Mainlands and are quite famous. Even if we get one of ya, I'm sure that people would still come 'round to see ya perform. Ain't that right... Boss?"
Red and Delly turned towards the doors when they heard a dark chuckle coming from them. It was the Devil himself. "That's right, Dice. Now, I know you're wonderin' what the bet is." The Devil walked over to the sisters and smirked down at them. Red felt a lump form in her throat as she stared up at this monster of a... demon. Tall guys really made Red nervous, with her short stature compared to King Dice, her head only going to his chest. Red had to lean back on the craps table as the Devil leaned down and towards the sisters, his smirk still on his face.
"If you win this round, you'll have everything in my casino. You'll be living like queens for the rest of your lives."
"And... if we lose?" Red's lips quivered as she looked at the Devil in the eyes, seeing her own reflection in one eye, Delly's in the other.
The devil smirked.
"Then I take one of your souls."
"One of ours?" Delly looked over to Red, who did the same.
"Well, we only have room for one more performer. And I'm only interested in one. Now... who's it gonna be?"
Delly opened her mouth to speak, but shut it. She didn't want to lose to the Devil, if she did, and she didn't want to be stuck here... but she also didn't want her sister to be stuck either.
"I'll bet my soul."
Delly looked to Red and gasped. "Red, no!" she cried out. Red bit her lip before she continued, glaring up at the Devil. "I bet my soul in place of my sister's. If you win... you don't touch her."
The Devil smirked and held out his hand towards Red. "We got a deal." Red continued to glare up at the Devil before she placed her own hand in his, sealing the deal. Red turned towards King Dice as he opened up his hand to reveal the dice. Delly turned as well and took the dice in her hands. She looked at her sister for a moment before she shook the dice in her hands and tossed them onto the table. The air grew heavy and it seemed time stopped for a moment as Red watched the dice roll and soon land.
"Snake Eyes!" King Dice smirked at Red.
"You lose."
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Raccoon delays Air Canada flight in Saskatoon by nearly seven hours
New Post has been published on https://funnythingshere.xyz/raccoon-delays-air-canada-flight-in-saskatoon-by-nearly-seven-hours/
Raccoon delays Air Canada flight in Saskatoon by nearly seven hours
SASKATOON — A raccoon that scurried into the duct system of an Air Canada jet that was set to leave for Toronto caused a seven-hour flight delay.
Ground crews in Saskatoon were connecting an air conditioning unit to the plane Thursday night and apparently disturbed the furry bandit who had been inside the unit’s hose.
“Our crews worked with the animal control experts to extricate the animal which was unharmed,” Air Canada spokeswoman Angela Mah said Friday in an email. “This is the first time we’re aware of such an incident.”
Damien Lee, one of the 79 passengers, said the flight was due to leave Saskatoon at 2:50 p.m. Before passengers boarded the plane, Lee said he could see a worker who had been inspecting the jet looking spooked. The worker talked to his colleagues and then started taking pictures under the plane.
The passengers initially thought it was funny.
“For the most part, it was novelty,” said Lee, an assistant professor at the University of Saskatchewan who was headed to Toronto to hunt for an apartment.
“People were guessing what it was at first. They were like, you know, holding mock bets, not really for real, but they were wondering and shouting out their ideas of what it could be.”
Pilots came down to assess the scene and, within an hour, animal control experts were brought in to try and catch the raccoon. Workers started taking panels off the plane with screwdrivers and hand drills, Lee said.
It was like, ‘How the hell did that even get in there?’
Damien Lee
Handlers brought out instruments that looked like lassos to try to catch the animal, he said.
“What can you do? It’s not like somebody did this on purpose, this is an animal in there,” Lee said.
Eventually, Air Canada said the raccoon scurried off unharmed.
People ran after the raccoon and tried cornering it into a kennel, Lee said. But Lee said he thinks the raccoon managed to escape.
Raccoon is out of the plane (and running across field now). Alive and well, due to folks like this: https://t.co/MLfzCYd5Wf
— Damien 🦑 (@damienlee) May 04, 2018
Air Canada said it carried out a full aircraft maintenance inspection before the flight finally took off at 10 p.m.
“It was a circus,” Lee said in a phone interview from Toronto where the flight finally landed at 3 a.m.
Even though this wasn’t Lee’s longest flight delay, he said that it was definitely his weirdest airplane experience.
“It was like, ’How the hell did that even get in there?”’
A raccoon has delayed my flight to Toronto. https://t.co/AafLuKrRli
— Damien 🦑 (@damienlee) May 03, 2018
Raccoon catchers are on the scene.
— Damien 🦑 (@damienlee) May 03, 2018
I don’t know where that plane came from, but that poor raccoon just flew at (presumably) 30’000 feet. Oxygen? Heat? Who knows.
— Damien 🦑 (@damienlee) May 03, 2018
Current efforts seem to be focused on the right wing. Crew pulling panels off.
— Damien 🦑 (@damienlee) May 03, 2018
More panels coming off. I respect the effort @AirCanada crew is putting into finding this raccoon. It’d be nice to… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
— Damien 🦑 (@damienlee) May 03, 2018
Some complimentary coffee and snacks would be nice tho. Flight was supposed to leave at 2:50 (it’s 5:36 now). (Raccoon wasn’t only delay).
— Damien 🦑 (@damienlee) May 03, 2018
Even the captains are still out there.
— Damien 🦑 (@damienlee) May 03, 2018
Strategizing: https://t.co/V6hdP3rmow
— Damien 🦑 (@damienlee) May 03, 2018
Announcement: “We will not be rebooking anyone. We don’t know if the raccoon is going to live or die.”
— Damien 🦑 (@damienlee) May 03, 2018
Crew now has garbage pail pressed up to the wing.
— Damien 🦑 (@damienlee) May 03, 2018
Announcement: Affected passengers given meal vouchers.
— Damien 🦑 (@damienlee) May 03, 2018
The captain is now working the animal catcher thingy.
— Damien 🦑 (@damienlee) May 04, 2018
Hi @AirCanada – Raccoon is still in plane. We’ve been waiting 3 hrs now (length of AC1126’s flight from YXE to YYZ… twitter.com/i/web/status/9…
— Damien 🦑 (@damienlee) May 04, 2018
Gate crew announcement: “We’re not rebooking until the plane cancels.”
— Damien 🦑 (@damienlee) May 04, 2018
Gate crew just handed our second meal vouchers to AC1126 passengers stranded by raccoon.
— Damien 🦑 (@damienlee) May 04, 2018
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mindawiese547-blog · 7 years
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Plastic Shutters VS Lumber Shutters By Conall Wolf.
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