🔥 for FE Heroes

I feel like Book... 7?? The one with all the Big Booba Snake Ladies. I feel like that one had a chance to be really interesting in exploring the depths of identity and how one feels they've lost too much of themselves to be considered the same person as who they were before, if, like... it cared to be anything but a Big Booba Lady Who Like-a Da Summoner fest.

Plus the old goat guy who turned evil out of nowhere actually had a pretty banger motivation in starting the chain of the Golden Seer but the execution of his EEEEEVIL nature and his plan were dumb as shit

Sanders Swap AU

So, I’ve heard tale of a new AU circulating in this fandom. Basically, it’s an AU where the Sides swap jobs and powers with the other sides.

Here’s my take on who’d get what (this isn’t even a theory, just what I hope happens)

First off, it’s the same characters with the canon-verse history. However, Thomas decides that if they all swapped jobs and powers for a day, they might understand each other more and stop arguing 24/7

This may have been Emile Picani’s idea. I’ll figure it out (the sides need to go to Emile’s therapy sessions).

So!

Janus is Morality

-And he’s having fun with it

-”Why pursuing a false sense of morality is more detrimental than taking a singular self-care day: A 256 Slide Presentation”

-He only starts not liking it when he realizes how much responsibility Pat is really under

-He doesn’t know the answers to everything! He can’t deal with all of these emotions! HE ISN’T READY TO BE A FATHER

-It’s really easy to forget that Patton’s job is also dealing with all of Thomas’s emotions. Patton has practice at repressing everything, but it’s all hitting Jan like a truck

-There will be angst.

-Also now he has to kind of take care of all the light sides, including Virgil. So, more angst!

-Reactions Of The Other Sides

Roman: How Dare You Stand Where He Stood

Virgil: Nope. Nopity nope. NOPE.

Logan: It probably isn’t the mature, logical thing to do to laugh at Janus struggling with the FamILY. But he technically isn’t Logic at the moment, and it is kind of funny.

Of course, when Janus starts really struggling, that all stops.

Remus: Jan has to pretend to be the boring one! This is fun to watch!

Patton: He knows what it must be like for Janus at the moment. Trying to help him.

Patton is Dark Creativity

-Patton’s going through a crisis of conscience at the moment, so turning him into a dark side has Angst Potential

-He’s determined to fail at his job. Unfortunately, he’s quite good at the religious guilt part of Remus’s job.

-I think he’d like conjuring stuff though

-He’d try to conjure kittens, but since Remus’s powers work the way they do he’d conjure the ugliest sphinx cats you’ve ever seen in your life

-But Patton’s allergies are better around hairless cats! So he keeps the cats even after the drama is over and learns to love them

-He has no idea what to do with a morning-star or deodorant. Deodorant tastes like deodorant to him, and he doesn’t get why Remus eats it.

-Is this entire AU an excuse to have Dark Creativity be the one to say, “Language!”? Maybe so.

-Reactions Of The Other Sides: 

Roman + Virgil: They already have complicated feelings about both him and the dark sides. This is just a calzone of weird.

Logan: Not that much has changed, in his opinion.

Remus: The guy who thinks babies come from fucking STORKS is him?? NO.

Janus: So many thoughts and none of them intelligible. More like a long, drawn out scream.

Remus is Logic

-However much of a shitshow you think it’s going to be....it’s worse

-He goes full mad scientist. He eats his glasses. He knows the science of so many things he was curious about.

-He can justify anything with “It’s for science!”

“Why did you release goats into the living room?” “FOR SCIENCE!”

“Why did you draw all of these dorks on the ceiling??” “FOR SCIENCE!”

“WHY IS THE HOUSE ON FIRE???” “FOR SCIENCE!”

-Remus is Logic now, baby. And the world will burn.

-Reactions Of The Other Sides: 

Roman: Logan’s cool! Remus most definitely isn’t! He has no right to wear that tie.

Virgil: Terrified? He shouldn’t be in charge of anything!

Logan: Please. Could someone please get him to stop. THAT IS NOT PROPER LAB SAFETY-

Patton: Welp. That’s disturbing. Time to pretend this isn’t happening.

Janus: Entertained beyond belief. 

Logan is Anxiety

-Existential dread o’clock! Ever considered the true size of the universe when compared to you? Logan is the feeling of terror you get when you look at the sky and realize just how little it cares about you.

-Logan is a better Anxiety than Anxiety, because instead of being emo he’s informed (and potentially emo, since the concept of an emo Logan is quite a concept)

-And people listen to him more. He doesn’t even use the demon voice option. People just pay attention to him when he’s like this. God, no wonder Virgil acts the way he does!

-No but emo Logan consider it

-Him having to go back to being Logic after this would certainly do things to his character arc

-He still can never get into Evanescence, though.

-Reactions Of The Other Sides: 

Virgil: Why is he better at his job than the actual Anxiety? Is he even important to Thomas?

Remus: Likes Logan’s new aesthetic very much

Patton: Is happy that Logan seems happy, but knows that they’ll have to change back eventually. Worrying about all of his kiddos, honestly.

Janus: Was the first one to be hit with the Existential Dread. Freaks out.

Roman: Thank the gods that he isn’t the only one who doesn’t want to go back

Virgil is Creativity

-He hates everything about this.

-The imagination is confusing, Thomas’s hopes and dreams are worryingly fragile, and he is constantly suppressing the urge to sing Disney songs.

-The only thing he likes is the sword. The sword is awesome.

-Conjuring feels weird, like sticking your hand in a magician’s hat full of scorpions to do a trick. But he manages to conjure the darkest eye-shadow known to man, so there’s that.

-He wants out of this little experiment ASAP. He may not be the villain any more, but that doesn’t mean he was born to play hero.

Reactions Of The Other Sides:

Roman: Why is he so bad at this?? Thomas is going to need a creativity!

Logan: Worried that he’ll accidentally destroy all of Thomas’s hopes and dreams.

Remus: He prefers this to his insufferable brother, so

Patton: Swords are sharp DON’T STAB PEOPLE

Janus: He could have conjured a million dollars and given it all to his former best friend, but no. He went for the eye-shadow.

Roman is Deceit

-At first, he loathes it with every fiber of his being. Now he can’t even pretend to be a hero?

-But lying is just good storytelling, and he hasn’t been able to spin words like this in ages

-Plus, he gets to sing villain songs for once

-And he does love the shape-shifting. For once, he doesn’t have to be Roman Sanders, and it’s the best thing in the world

-After a while, he hasn’t looked like himself in the mirror for days. It’s much easier to tell you’re not the evil twin when you don’t resemble him at all.

-He isn’t going back.

-Reactions Of The Others: 

Virgil: Oblivious to the danger at hand, but would scream if he knew because he can’t be creativity forever.

Logan: Conflicted as heck. He knows that they both have to go back to their old jobs, but it’s harder to say it with conviction when Roman is encouraging him to stay.

Remus: Ugh. His brother is the one who gets Jan’s job? Typical.

Patton: Roman doesn’t seem okay. Why is everyone in his family not okay

Janus: AfraidTM

Just my thoughts!

Now I have 39 fics to write

Vasuki and Washuutski

This is from an old post: 

The Washuu name itself may be connected to the tale of Vasuki. Source x, and also @hysyartmaskstudio​, and @karnasofsun on twitter.]

Nagaraja, or king of the naga or snakes, is a hindu mythological word associated with several separate king dragon/snakes. One of these is Vasuki, which in japanese is rendered as Washuukitsu. Vasuki has several myths about being tied to a mountain or holding things together. [x]

The chapter entitled “Saved from the Web” also featured this nod to hinduism, but at the end the characters who showed up, in spiderweb imagery on the background of their panels was V. Either as a reminder that Urie had not truly escaped from the Web, or they had been the ones who maintained the web by setting up the conflict that drove him there in the first place.

Hindu mythology also shows a war of binary opposition, between devas and asuras (angels and demons respectively), when one side became weakened they sought a ritual stirring of ‘Kasian Samut’ which is the ocean of milk, which thickened and concentrated will become the nector of immortality. 

Vasukira, king of the naga had to bind his massive body around Mandra the mountain, into Kasiam Samut in order to mix it. The devas also used the asuras into stirring for them, by saying they will share it with them when the ritual ends. However Vasukira grew tired and released poison by the end of the ritual.

The connections to tokyo ghoul then, are a bit obvious in this chapter alone we are given a small sampling as to what might be the source of the ghoul’s extended vitality.

 Vasukira releases both a poison and it brews an immortality elixir the same way V views the poison that is released by Dragon as a source of life for them.

There are already pieces of foreshadowing in place to suggest that either V, or humanity at large is seeking immortality through ghouls, or at least at the labor and behest of ghouls the same way Asura labored for the immortality of the Devas at the cost to themselves.

V already also has in their possession, a way of preserving their grown up garden children who are destined to only live half lives, and also the members of the Oggai operation who were revived via ghoul cells. It’s likely that this medicine may just be the dissolved ghouls, pure rc cells then packed into liquid bottles and traded in secret by V. They also use a giant grinder in order to make them, and oh so conveniently, have a war going against the ghouls which provides them with a near infinite supply of dead ghouls in order to continue making this medicine if it really is concentrated Rc Cells.

V has also, already disposed of the main head of this brewing process in Furuta’s hostile takeover. Perhaps modeling the same way Washuukitsu, in order to make his immortality elixir did so at great cost to himself and his own body.

Achievable immortality, the mixers are definitely V, but they were born with half lives in the first place. They’re probably desperate to extend their lives by any means possible not rule over humanity forever with immortality. It’s more likely that the race of angels, the humans in this metaphor will be the one to reap the benefits of the conflicts created by ghouls and half ghouls. At least if things were to continue to spiral uninterrupted.

This is where I brought my original post to an end but, I’d like to discuss on that point as well. Let’s talk about the morality of V’s reckless way of extending their lives for a moment. Take doesn’t really have any kind of comeback for Kaiko’s taunts, even though he knows the truth of Kishou’s wants and sacrifices perhaps better than anybody else. 

It makes sense that Take doesn’t really have anything to say in response though, as I’ve said in the previous two chapters, nobody on the side of the alliance has really surpassed V morally. Technically they’re fighting for the right side because they don’t want the world end, but in a good philosophy bad philosophy sense we don’t really know what the moral philosophy that the Goat Alliance is fighting for because they don’t even know themselves.

Take himself even describes the mist that causes ghoulification as a “toxin” as if V accepting the poison into their bodies somehow made them dirty, or unclean now that they’ve become ghouls.

It is a toxin in a sense that in some patients it’s causing cancer like symptoms and tumor formations, but what about the cases where all it does is turn them into ghouls. Of course, unwilling change of species is still a violation of the body but a human doesn’t suddenly become lesser if they are transformed into a ghoul.

There are some patients who aren’t experiencing the ROS overload or cancer like symptoms that Saiko displays, some of them are just turning into plain old normal ghouls. Of course the world would be unsustainable if everybody turned into ghouls but do those people really need to be cured? Wouldn’t it be more practical to just stop the spread of the poison and find a proper food source and education source for all the new converted ghouls instead?

The thing is, being turned into ghouls unwillingly, living as ghouls is still seen as the worst fate ever (even to Take who was part of a ghoul rebellion), because the vast majority of the cast hasn’t even solved nor thought about the central conflict of the series. They all have a case of “ghoul icky.” So we see V’s desperate attempts to extend their lifespan in an entirely unsympathetic light.

V is chopped apart horrifically by the CCG agents and ghouls alike, but it’s fine, they’re the bad guys, they’re completely disposable. In the manga which has been arguing against “otherization” tactics when fighting enemies and dehumanizing them, there’s a suspicious lack of any humanity in V itself.

V however, are a matured zero squad They’re grown up garden kids. It’s explicitly confirmed for us in this chapter, but it was laid out by Furuta a long time ago.

They’re quite literally bred and then raised from birth with the sole purpose of killing ghouls. Unlike all the ghoul investigators who chose their job, and can walk away any time without any consequence at all and just quit and start a new life, the V agents are born into this life and they only have a half life to live such a pitiful life in the first place. 

Before you say I’m sympathizing with V though, I’m not, they’re obviously the villains. Yet at the same time I have to wonder if Goat has any moral high ground over them, and if that’s the challenge the narration has to take. V is undefeated so far, because the CCG’s tactics are V’s tactics, and Marude hasn’t changed anything at all from his playbook besides “listen to Hide sometimes.”

The Washuu are much more responsible for the state of the world, and they were the ones actively breeding human beings, conducting human experimentation and profiting off of it. V were cogs in the machine who went along with Furuta’s plans for a coup because it was literally their only way to keep living.

Matsuri frames his revenge against V as a noble revenge against his father, when V was dispatching a tyrant who controlled all of their lives from birth, and profited off of it entirely. There’s also the fact that Marude, and Hide are completely okay with cooperating with Matsuri. Matusri’s entire reasoning for doing so is not because of regret for his actions, he doesn’t feel an ounce of regret for what he did as a Washuu and a ring leader of V. He’s only doing it to survive when this is all over.

As for the loss of human life it took to create dragon, quite literally nobody in the entire cast cared that Kaneki devoured 100 children willingly in order to extend his own lifespan as well. 

 Then there’s Kimi, who was completely okay with Dragon happening if it allowed her to prove the useful medicine of ghoul science. Medicine is a life extending technique as well. 

Her motivations are also entirely selfish as well. It’s not that ghouls are killed simply for what they’re born as, exterminated on sight without even due process so innocent ghouls are just as likely to be killed as mass murderers. She needs to change the world so she can get back together with her boyfriend. 

It makes me wonder if in a way V itself are the asuras of the myth. They’re the ones being tricked into brewing the immortality elixir for the rest of society, because as bred half ghouls and garden children they’ve been disposable since the beginning. They’re the other and the bad guys, so nobody cares that much if they’re overcome by the alliance and slaughtered entirely to produce a better world where ghoulification and ghoul medicine are now norms for humanity to reap the benefit of. 

In the past, V was at least being used that way by the Washuu in order to stage their shadow conflicts. It’s pretty clear V considers themselves a separate entity after the Coup, so all of their earlier actions were much more likely orchestrated by the Washuu before Furuta took control, for the benefit of solely the Washuu.

As I’ve said before, not a lot of these characters care that much about the actual morality of the ghouls vs human conflict. That’s something they need to do in order to ideologically overcome V. V is bad because they kill ghouls, but they were half humans raised from birth in order to do so. There are plenty of human characters in the cast who slaughtered ghouls left and right in the past with no remorse at all, and completely chose that lifestyle. The CCG is like a day job they don’t punish deserters they could have left the conflict any time. V are half ghouls they were born into it, the conflict is literally inseparable from their beings. 

To make a better world, these characters first have to think “How am I better? How will I be better?”

The theme of the manga ultimately is “Live”, so it’s rather fitting that the motivation of the villains is a simple desire for them to live as well. 

Like Rebel Diamonds

As I listened to Time to Pretend by MGMT at work during those wee hours in the morning, I realized, 16 year old Smokey wouldn’t have given these cats the time of day. At the height of my obnoxious MTV, High School, days, I was a resounding hood. I literally only listened to hip hop and I lived that “thug life” as it were. In retrospect, I was ridiculously narrow sighted about culture and what could be considered “good” music. It was abused but I was product of my environment. Fast forward some 17 years later and I feel like I’ve matured a bit, my tastes have expanded. In that spirit, I wanted to jot down my top 10 records of all time and a little blurb as to why I enjoy each. It should be interesting to see where I land on everything.

1A and 1B - Read My Mind and Mr. Brightside by The Killers

Bro, these records are what music IS to me. I couldn’t really differentiate between the two because, whichever one I’m actively listening to, that’s my all-time favorite song. I can’t really tell you why but I think it has everything to do with the emotion in each record. I FEEL these songs and they legit make me happy. Stress just melts away as those melodies and vocals take me to a warm ass place.

Between Brandon Flowers uncanny ability to emulate the late great Freddie Mercury with his smooth ass vocals and Ronni Vannucci’s god level skill on them drums, it’s hard NOT to put these records on top. The Killers are also my all-time favorite band, if you can’t tell.

3 - Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen

Speaking of the great Freddie Mercury, there’s no way Rhapsody doesn’t make this list. Look. The things Mr. Bad Guy could do with his voice are transcendent and this record puts all of the prowess on display. Never mind the fact that he wrote every lyric and every note of this song. Bro was what every artists should strive to be.

4 - Sleepyhead by Passion Pit

I am a huge fan of this cat’s catalog. His sound is so eclectic and unique. Cats just don’t make music like him and Sleepyhead, for me, is the quintessential Passion Pit record. It’s his magnum opus. It feels very technical, like he meticulously put this thing together like a puzzle. All of that time, energy, and detail produce one of the most profound sounds I have ever heard.

5 - Through The Wire by Kanye West

Way back in 2004, when this song dropped, I was 20. At that time, in my youth, I was kind of transforming into an adult. I was tired of all that bling rap from the late 90s into the early 00s. Don’t get me wrong, I adore me some Back That Azz Up but it was all just too much. I was tired of hearing about chicks getting f*cked and how hard a cat was and how many bullets/ounce of coke some studio gangster moved. I was tired of that Def Jam bullsh*t. And then I heard Through The Wire. Sh*t was a revelation. This was a legit record, with dope ass lyrics, on a dope ass beat, telling me a story about the artist’s most harrowing life experience. It didn’t involve coke or cops or thugs or whatever. It was an honest to goodness classic hip hop record, without all the hip hop stereotypes. I was a fan of Ye for life at that point. For me, The College Dropout is a goddamn classic and it was Through The Wire that introduced it to me.

6 - Killing Me Softly by The Fugees

Roberta Flack dropped this record way back when but Lauryn Hill got her hands on it in 96 and she transformed it into a goddamn masterpiece. Don’t misunderstand me, what Ms. Flack pressed, too, was brilliant in its own right but this is one of those rare circumstances where a cover exceeds the original. It’s rare but is it dope! Lauryn pours her soul over this record and you can feel the heartache on it. I was flabbergasted the first time I heard this long but then she hits that long note. Oh My…

7 – The Less I Know The Better by Tame Impala

Yo, this song hits hard. I was absolutely enthralled with the music itself but Kevin Parker's vocals compliment that instrumental with such precision, I was absolutely enthralled. The first time I listened to this song felt like the first time I hear Mr. Brightside, just a little less. If you don't listen to Tame Impala, you're doing yourself a disservice. Joint also has a dope as video.

8 - Juicy by Notorious B.I.G

It was all a Dream! BIG is the greatest lyricist I have ever heard. He wasn’t crazy prolific, I think cat released 2two albums before he was killed, but you’d be hard-pressed to find another rap record that stands to-to-toe with his catalog. The way dud abused wordplay while taking you on a journey with his storytelling was amazing and Juicy is perfect example of that. He makes you feel like your right there with him as he became the GOAT, before he was declared the GOAT.

9 - Hurt by Johnny Cash

Truth be told, I love old timey country. All of this, modern sh*t is whack as f*ck but you throw some of that Grand Ole Opry on and I’m good to go. Conway Twitty and Dolly Parton are immediate favorites that come to mind but it’s the Man in Black, all day. I love all of his music. Cat is a damn fine storytelling and his distinctly gravely voice caters to those tales perfectly. I remember seeing the video to Hurt when I was young and it devastated me. It made me remember a lot of stuff I didn’t want and I ended up crying by the end. Like, sobbing. It was cathartic. I was carrying so much, for so long, and this record broke that dam like it was nothing. Music is amazing that way but to have such a profound reaction to this song? I don’t know, man but it’s in my list forever now.

10 - Pressure by Milk & Bone

I first heard this record at the end of a Letterkenny episode. Side note, if you’re not about Letterkenny, you corny as f*ck. Anyway, the second those vocals hit, i was awash in a warmth i can’t describe. This record makes me think of my chick. It soundtracks the highlights of us. It’s absolutely found it’s way into my being and i adore every second of it’s melodic, delicate, affectionate melody.

It’s a rather eclectic list, if I do say so myself. Good sprinkling of genres in there. I feel mildly proud of myself. I thought for sure it would be all post punk and 80s revival because, I mean, I am an 80s baby but I like what shook out. I feel like there’s a solid nine songs there. As much as I love Journey, there’s probably fifty songs that could take that ten spot. Honestly. It was actually mad easy to get through this list, too, which surprised me. Outside of the first three records, I figured I’d be more conflicted but nope. The heart wants what it wants I guess.

February 2017

This is a compilation of fics that I've read/re-read over the past month. Faves get a star ( ★ ). There is also a separate fic rec page for my favorites here, if you'd like to check that out. :)

MONTH: February, 2017 | (older lists)

▶▶ A Start by Inell Teen And Up | 1,458w Derek's acting like a jealous boyfriend. The only issue? He and Stiles aren't dating.

▶▶ An RA's Guide to Mutual Pining by alocalband Teen And Up | 2,208w "Stiles, this is the sixth time in two weeks that you've locked yourself out of your own room in the middle of the night and that Scott won’t pick up his phone to let you in." "Uh, yeah, man, tell me about it. He really needs to step up his roommate game." Derek seriously can't take this anymore.

▶▶ Candy Hearts by dragon_temeraire General | 1,133w Stiles decides that, since they're the only two single members of the pack, he and Derek should spend Valentine's Day together.

▶▶ Cute Bus Stop Guy by leslieknopeismyspiritanimal Teen And Up | 2,142w The guy gave him a curt little nod and neatly sidestepped him, continuing on his way. Stiles snuck a look over his shoulder, and yep, the rear view in those tight slacks was pretty good, too. The guy stopped at the bus stop, leaning against the sign, and Stiles sighed. It was a dreamy sigh, even he could admit that. He had a feeling he was going to become a morning person.

▶▶ Delivery Drivers: Unsung Heroes of the Restaurant Biz by DeliberateMisspelling Teen And Up | 4,756w Derek Hale is a Good Samaritan, okay? That's how he got roped into helping out Laura in the first place. Helping the attractive stranger who just literally collapsed into his arms might be more fun, though. Not that he'll ever admit it, especially since he got puked on first.

▶▶ Demanding Forever Series [1] That Stalky Thing by wangler Mature | 2,560w Derek frowns, thrown off. Teenagers are confusing. [2] Scientists Document This Stuff by wangler Explicit | 3,264w "Your arbitrary sex rules are getting really old," Stiles says, lipping at Derek's mouth like a goat at a petting zoo.

▶▶ Dog's Best Friend by otter General | 8,923w Other people might have found the name of the place off-putting. Stiles didn’t. He was actually relieved, when Scott handed him a business card that said "HALEHOUNDS" across the top, because clearly, if anybody could recognize and understand the evil that lurked within his dog’s fluffy precious body, it was these people.

▶▶ Former Employment by dragon_temeraire ★ Teen And Up | 4,023w Professor Stilinski is definitely not expecting to see his favorite porn star among the students of his Human Sexuality class.

▶▶ Help Wanted (But Not Really) by reillyblack ★ Mature | 20,525w "Stiles, I'll clear up your confusion about the position. Derek here needs someone to live with him. He's a difficult person to live with, so I won't sugarcoat that. But his responsibilities at the company right now make it impossible for him to actually take care of himself and his home. That would be your job," Laura explained. Both Stiles and Derek objected at the same time."

▶▶ Hot Like Burning by leslieknopeismyspiritanimal Teen And Up | 2,762w In which Derek is the grumpy neighborhood firefighter, and Stiles is a bit of a lovestruck idiot.

▶▶ How Awkward by stileshale N/A | 9,533w A shadow falls over him, and he blinks up to see Derek looking highly amused, pushing a stroller and shirtless. Ugh, Derek is one of those wholesome people that goes jogging on a Saturday morning. And, if that doesn’t make Stiles feel bad enough, he does it shirtless. And looks good. So good. Stiles swings round on his knees to look at the baby inside, trying not to hyperventilate. "Oh my god, you’re the cutest baby I've ever seen!" he declares, "And you were raised by wolves? You're not nearly as hairy as I would have imagined!"

▶▶ how to unsend an embarrassing text (hint: you can't) by bibliosexual General | 1,879w Laura tells him it's cowardly and unromantic to confess feelings over text, but too bad. Derek can't think of anything more terrifying than showing up on Stiles' doorstep (conveniently, the apartment right below Derek's) to tell him to his face. And Derek wants to know, okay? Has to know. He needs closure. He can't keep second-guessing every microsecond of every interaction with Stiles, trying to guess how he's feeling, and he can't keep hoping like this. He'll go insane. Stiles has been his neighbor/friend/hopeless crush for almost six months already, and Derek definitely can’t take another six.

▶▶ I Spy a Reunion by 42hrb Teen And Up | 1,088w In high school Stiles wanted a job he could brag about, too bad he can't brag about his job now.

▶▶ I won't sleep if you won't sleep by dragon_temeraire Teen And Up | 4,085w After the nogitsune, Stiles is unable to sleep. To help, he has a spell cast on him that will link him with Derek.

▶▶ Illuminated by ZainClaw Teen And Up | 5,013w "Because I'm falling in love with you and it's scaring the hell out of me."

▶▶ Like Immortality by Idday ★ Teen And Up | 4,815w Stiles and Derek, in letters, through the years.

▶▶ little spoon by bibliosexual ★ Teen And Up | 4,489w To save money while attending college in NYC, Stiles and Derek decide to rent one tiny apartment together. With one bed.

▶▶ Love So Hard, It Could Rip My Heart Out by Lapin ★ Mature | 7,554w Stiles is seventeen, and his best friend is drifting away, and his dad isn't speaking to him, so he's going to make some bad decisions. He's seventeen and he needs bad decisions to look back on when he's thirty, and nothing is a worse decision than Derek Hale. He'll let the Big Bad Wolf in, let him press Stiles down into the couch and he'll wrap his arms around him and he'll know it's a bad choice, but it's his, and Derek is here when no one else is.

▶▶ Mǣnōn by MyBeth Explicit | 9,237w Knotting. It’s a thing that exists. Like werewolves and weird lizard creatures. It’s just rated NC-17 so you don’t hear about it so much on TV. It exists and he gets it. Stiles. He’s the one that gets it.

▶▶ meat cute by bleep0bleep Teen And Up | 1,046w u should give it to ur werewolf ;) Stiles stares at his phone, because he doesn’t have a werewolf. Well, technically he has a crush on a werewolf, but that doesn't really count. He buys the steak anyways.

▶▶ No Refills by scottmcniceass Teen And Up | 6,765w Stiles spends almost every night at Winston Diner. They have the best coffee he's ever tasted, and free wifi. Of course, the only waiter ever on staff after eleven, Derek, was a piece of work. But maybe, underneath that chilly personality, Derek was the kind of person who Stiles didn't mind spending every night with, after all.

▶▶ No Refunds or Exchanges by badwolfbadwolf Mature | 18,916w Stiles is the newest deputy in the Beacon Hills Sheriff’s Department, and has maybe just been a little in love with Derek Hale since Stiles had made a fool of himself in front of him at the SD summer picnic a few years ago. Being married to him—only for the sake of not getting deported—is going to suck in new and unusual ways.

▶▶ Nonsexual Favors by sterekseason N/A | 846w Prompt: "I need a favor, and not the sexual kind."

▶▶ Not Quite A Siren, But Something Like That by lapsus_calami General | 2,891w There's a sea creature stealing all of Derek's stuff. For some reason he finds that more endearing than annoying.

▶▶ Of Glasses And Lacrosse Sticks by charlesdk Teen And Up | 6,810w "Okay, how 'bout this? One date, just one date, and if you still don't believe I'm genuinely interested in you, then I'll leave you alone for good. How does that sound?" Derek hesitated for another moment, before he sighed and said, "Fine. One date."

▶▶ One life stand by Vendelin ★ Explicit | 84,278w Stiles is used to selling himself to make ends meet. But it's getting harder to keep those ends meeting, and there's only so much of Stiles to go around. Until a too-fancy car shows up in his neighborhood, and he meets Derek Hale. All Derek wants is Stiles's time, someone to stay on his arm for events and smile for the cameras. It's the easiest job Stiles has ever had, the best-paying one he's ever had, and he's more than happy to sign up. Derek is everything and nothing Stiles expects him to be, with his tailored suits, sharp mind and his quiet way of caring. But it's just a job and Stiles never meant to fall in love.

▶▶ Orchard Lane Series [1] A Blossoming Romance by Trelkez Teen And Up | 7,533w Stiles will just have to try harder next time. No one can ignore him forever. [2] Welcoming Committee by Trelkez Teen And Up | 2,625w "I miss the days when I thought Derek was the strangest person on this block," Stiles says.

▶▶ Peeping Stiles by literaryoblivion Mature | 16,550w Stiles finds himself outside Derek's house because he just can't seem to stay away.

▶▶ quoting Rhett Butler by haleofStilesheart Teen And Up | 2,445w Stiles has a bad habit of dating complete assholes. Good thing Derek's there to knock some sense into him.

▶▶ Taking Care by LoveActually_rps Explicit | 3,413w Derek had returned from a conference where the new CEO, Mr Stiles Stilinski, took over his company in a so called meeting where all the white collared, richly clothed shareholders - assholes - voted against Derek. He hadn’t even waited for a final handshake with the new owner. He knew, he’d never be able to fake a smile when his heart was shattering into a thousand pieces. Well, they had Peter to deal with these formalities.

▶▶ the blazing bombardier by bibliosexxual N/A | 1,599w Derek fundamentally doesn’t understand people who like roller coasters.

▶▶ the roommate by bibliosexxual N/A | 1,826w Stiles' mysterious new roommate shows up right as Stiles and Scott are sliding their second tray of ginger snaps out of the oven. Stiles thought it’d be a nice way to welcome him, break the ice a little, all that. He’s also planning to make some sugar cookies in case D. Hale has less adventurous tastes. Never let it be said that Stiles Stilinski doesn’t plan ahead.

▶▶ To Be Worthy Of Hope by alocalband ★ Teen And Up | 7,482w "If you can't say the words, you're not mature enough to know what they mean," Scott tells him. Stiles throws a french fry at him. (In which Derek is secretly pining, Stiles is oblivious to both Derek’s feelings as well as his own, and any personal growth that happens in the mean time is completely reluctant.)

▶▶ We All Fall by cobrilee N/A | 815w Derek has a thing for Stiles' bed. Stiles doesn’t question it.

▶▶ We're Burning One Hell of a Something by calrissian18 Mature | 6,031w Derek's roommate has already moved in by the time he shows up. And he's taken up both sides of the room.

▶▶ Werewolf-Friendly by badwolfbadwolf ★ Explicit | 27,227w Derek is a junior in college, never could get the hang of social interaction, and is, you know, a werewolf. A werewolf and a virgin. And it isn't like anyone is banging down his door to hop on his werewolf dick, save for the few pervs who acted like he was some kind of exotic toy to be played with and experienced. So, when he sees Stiles' ad on Hot Men 4 Rent, Derek is... interested.

▶▶ You've got me slippin' and a slidin' by ElisAttack General | 3,683w Derek lives in the middle of nowhere, and is probably in love with his delivery boy.

▶▶ (Untitled Tumblr ficlet) by bibliosexxual Mature | 4,220w Prompt: Stiles tries to seduce Derek but Derek has the habit of only dating older people (Jennifer, Kate...). So he says no to Stiles and Stiles is really disappointed but by chance he keeps seeing Derek and with time Derek realizes that he may have made a mistake.

▶▶ (Untitled Tumblr ficlet) by nogitsunelichen N/A | 696w Prompt: "I thought it was a one-night stand... but now we're married..."

▶▶ (Untitled Tumblr ficlet) by sterekseason N/A | 377w Derek shows up to his first pack meeting after moving back to Beacon Hills wearing worn out jeans and a faded flannel, chest hair popping out near the top. His beard is full, his hair is longer, almost long enough for a bun, his eyes have smile lines. He's happy.

▶▶ (Untitled Tumblr ficlet) by villainny N/A | 678w Prompt: Derek is a deliveryman and Stiles ordered a hug

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AnxietyTale Volume 1 FULL original

Design and story ideas: http://aminoapps.com/p/n1wwgr and Me Author: http://aminoapps.com/p/yib7wb fir chapter 1 and I wrote the rest Story:  ANXIETY TALE    What I didn't see coming, was falling. I knew I shouldn't have been up at Mt. Ebbott, but I felt very attracted to it. So, like any sane person, I climbed it. But I fell. I could hear my parents so clear in my head, it's like they were there with me: "Sam, Come Back!" I fell into cold stone and what looked like golden flowers. But one of them was moving, keeping its head down.  "Um hello" I want to know who this is very badly. "Frisk?!" The flower looks at me hopefully but then his eye harden at the sight of me. The flower smiles. "H-howdy... I'm f-flowey. Flowey the f-flower." I decide flowey is creepy. Flowey looks at me. Grief flashes along his face and I can tell he is alone. Flowey was sitting there crying.. I feel bad for him.  I pick him up and hold him. As a introduce myself a strange figure comes from the shadows. She looks like a goat but like she standing on her hind legs.*"strange" i think to myself* "Hello fris-" the creature said. she looks at me with surprise. " you're not frisk... well, hello my child, I'm am toriel." "H-Hi Toriel. I'm Sam. Um, Where exactly am I?" Tories smiles but then sees flowey in my arms "You've found him! Oh my! Child, I can never repay you for this!" I was confused. This Toriel person was freaking out over a talking flower... Toriel wanted that flower. I dont really know why, but I feel some sort of connection to this flower. I want him. She can't have him. He's mine and I need to take him away. Toriel looked at me confused. She asked why she cant have him. I ran. Ran though her house, over the chain and through the basement and to the door. I dont know why I am but somethings compelling me to open this strange door. I open the door.  I stepped into the cold air looking around desperately, flowey still in my arms. That's when a bloby shape came out of the shadows it was a blob with a cracked mask... he was.. smiling.. he walked ..no.. GLIDED over to me. Then, in a split second a short skeleton appeared next to me. He then grabbed me, and next thing I knew I was in a strange restaurant. ???: "Welcome to Grillby's! Oh. Sans." A monster made of fire cheerfully announced as soon as we appeared in the restaurant his voice loosing interest as he saw the skeleton standing next to me. Sans: "yo, grillby! its been a while, lets... ketchup!" The skeleton pulled out a bottle of ketchup when saying that. Grillby:"Your puns never cease to amuse me, sans." Grillby responded sacastically. Sans:"i'll take that as a.. condement!" I laughed at Sans's pun, but stopped when grillby seemed to be glaring at me. Sans: "c'mon kid, let's take a seat." Once we were seated at the bar, I began asking questions. "What was that thing?!" "Was it after me?!" Sans:" hey, kid. i dont know what it was either, but it doesnt matter right now. i'm sans, but i think you already overheard that. "Yeah.." I responded slowly, slightly smirking. Sans:"you outta meet my bro, papyrus. he's pretty headstrong, being the head of the royal gaurd, but he's a cool dude." Flowey: "we've met." I get a bit startled, considering flowey had been silent for the entire time we were at  this place. Sans looks a bit shocked as well, I mean, a flower in my pocket DID just start talking. Sans: "so you're the flower my bro keeps talkin' about." Flowey:"I guess." Sans:"soo.. umm.. kid, why are you here?" "I've heard stories... families, children, moms, dads, people with lives, they're stuck down here.. so.... I'm here to break the barrier!" I said confidently. But before i could say more.. sans:" its uh... its already broken, kid.." "What?!" I exclaim, i cant believe my ears. "Why?!"   Sans:"well, the last human was.. killed, and the barrier was broken. After the queen realised the deaths of all the humans were for nothing and asgore could have used one human to destroy the barrier, she re-enstated her power as queen and forbayed anyone from leaving the underground, fearing they might do to us what we did to them." Sans looks down at his feet. He's definitly hiding something, but I'm not sure what.... Flowey:"heh, my parents are just all rainbows and sunshine, aren't they?" Sans: "your parents?" I guess he doesnt know. I kinda figured it out considering toriel was obsessed with him. Sans:"kid. That... thing.. was an amalgamate." "Whats an amalgamate?" I asked,  Sans"Creatures, fused with determination.. Dr.Alphys, the royal scientist began working monsters who were badly injured, or sick.. and filled them with determination... but, they melted and fused together. Becoming shadows of their former selves. After Undyne, head of the royal gaurd died im battle, Dr.Alphys lost it and gave up on her scientific research, letting the amalgamates roam free in the underground." I think of anything to say.. its all so sad, and terrifying at the same time. As I think through this, a small voice in my head calls to me ???:"sam...." the voice repeats my name, each time getting louder, and more violent. The voice, is starting to take over my entire brain.. I place both palms on my forehead, as if i has a headache. I cringe everytime the voice calls to me, as the voice fades, sans is staring at me..... worried. Sans:"...kid? are you okay?....kid?" I finally snap back to reality. Flowey and Sans are looking at me wierdly. I guess I attracted some attention. Well, nothing I can do."sorry, i have a headache.." I guess that's  not a lie.. technically.. Flowey: "Dont die on us now. I need you to take me to my dad! Then you can die!" "Thanks, flowey." was that a joke, or?... Eh, I dont care. Sans: "You need a transport somewhere? Like this weed's house?" Flowey:"We dont need YOUR help. And dont call me weed, ya talking trashbag." "Flowey! Thats very rude! We'd love to have your help, sans!" Sans:"heh. okay. sounds fun, kid!" And so, we set off on our 'big adventure'! Well, our Big Adventure started in a friggin inn. We slept untill around 9:20 am, it's kinda wierd, but if you get passed flowey staring at you and Sans's extremely loud snoring in the other room, its peacefull in a wierd way.  Anyway, its morning. I have to wake sans up. Flowey:" WAKE UP TRASHBAG!!!!!" Sans:"*sigh* five more...." flowey and I procees to shake sans hard. Waking him up fast.. Sans:"ugh... im up.. im up.." sans finally got up, and we started our day. As we walked through snowdin,  the ice became thicker, and thicker, untill we an area completly covered in thick snow, hiding extensive puzzles, traps, and other things of the sort.  Sans:"yeah.. my bro put up these traps. he's really commited." We all laugh, and then spend hours in the snowmaze, regretting laughing. "Ugh... I hate life." I say on our fifth hour in the maze and 76th puzzle.  Flowey:"I can make that feeling go away with a couple 'friendliness pelets.' Sans:"This is gonna take a while." I sit up,  It's too dark to see where I am, I stand up and look around. After looking around a little while, I see a stange figure, speaking in an unknown language to itself. I walk toward it, but I'm kinda frightened. Once I get close enough, I can see his face, a crescent moon shape for his mouth, his right eye looking the same, and his left eye, an oval. On both eyes, jagged cracks on his skull, or mask, or whatever that thing is. He's speaking to me, I cant understand, but at the same time, I know what he wants me to do.. ???: "KILL. KILL. KILL." Somehow i just know that's what he's saying. ???:"KILL!! KILL!! KILL!!" His intentions echo in my head, I scream, but no one hears, im on my knees, screaming for help, pleading, but no one came. No one came. No one came, thease words repeat themselves, as if they have a second meaning. No one came , no one came, no one came. But, as I'm screaming for help, I hear a faint voice, calling to me. I'm frightened, and alone, but this voice is giving me hope, as it gets louder, I can hear what it's saying. ???:"kid? kid!!!" Suddenly, I'm back in the maze. With Sans and Flowey. I'm safe again. Safe. Sans:"kid, are you okay? you've been out for a while now."  "Yeah, I'm... fine." That's not even remotely true. I feel like crap. "What happened?" Sans:"we almost completed the maze, and the you just collapsed." Sans:"did anything.. happen? While you were out? Any wierd dreams or memories?" "What kind of question is that?" I don't remember anything. Sans:"i don't know, really. just wanted to make sure you're okay, i guess."    "... Okay, I guess.." Flowey:"Okay!! She's fine! Lets go!" And we're off again. We've been walking forever. I thought the exit was close, but i was wrong. If only we could just leave. Sans and Flowey have been bickering like an old couple and I'm really hungry. Okay, finally, the've stopped argueing. Flowey seems happy but sans is not a happy camper. I try talking to him, but he's not listening to anything I say.. It feels like this place is just getting quieter, and quieter. And i swear the closer we get to the exit, the harder it gets to walk. Suddenly, it feels like time just stopped, sans and flowey are fading away, like a blurry photo, and I'm alone again, in the dark, scared, and cold. The figure appeared again, tormenting me, ???:"they're not really your friends, you know that, right?" " No!! Stop it!! They are my friends!! I know they are!! Stop!!" And then, his face morphed, and he dissapeared, leaving me in the dark, alone again. After what felt like hours terrified in this endless void, I woke up again with Sans and Flowey, and, for once, seeing another living thing was the best part of my life... After gettong out of the snow maze, we headed to waterfall. Its still wierdly quiet.. like something is sealing our mouths shut. That's it! I've had enough of it! "Come on guys!! You need to talk! Make some kind of interaction!y Stop giving each other the silent treatment!" The truth is, after what happened, I'm afraid of silence... Sans: "jeez, kid. calm down. are you okay?" "Yeah... Sorry. I overreacted." I never noticed the large scar on his left eye. might as well ask him. "Soo.. I never really asked you.. how did you get that scar?" Sans cringed and his smile faded. Sans: "...*slow sigh* well, i was the one who killed the 7th human... and, way before that, i made a promise, a promise to someone very special. the promise was that if a human came to the underground, i would pritect that human and no harm would come to them... but after the things that human did, i couldn't just stand by when they came back.. the person i made that promise to.. they found out, and tried to do to me what i did to the human...they gave me this crack on my skull... but... my brother... he tried to stop them, get some sense into them... but, in their blind rage... they killed him." Hearing sans speak of death, and the immense pain he felt after Papyrus's death, I learned that when Sans heard that we needed help, he saw it as a way to redeem himself, And show his friends he wasn't just a killer. He could be a hero, too. I learned about his insecurities getting worse, his anxiety growing, and his dreams turning against him, how he uses a big grin and comedy to mask his pain, and loneliness. We sat and talked for hours, talking about everything, after that, I view sans completly differently than I did at first.. knowing almost everything about him. After we talked for a while, we were back on our way. We made it past waterfall and into The hotlands. When we got to the hotlands, we found spears covering the walls and the a burned eyepatch, sitting next to a large hole in the bridge system leading to the castle. Sans" I hate being here. I've got an idea! I haven't tried in a while, but..." He proceeded to grab my hand, and soft blue light surrounded us. And my eyes closed. I felt like we were traveling miles in seconds, the air pushing against us, when I opened my eyes, we were in a completely different place, the sudden stop in speed flung my hair forward, and flying back into my face, covering my eyes with a long scarlet forest of hair. Pushing the hair back, I spot a large figure, wearing a purple cape and crown, the crown in between it's two horns, It turned around, hearing the commotion behind it. ???: "H-Howdey! Would you like some tea?" Flowey:"D-Dad? It's me, asriel!" ???:"Asriel?! Is that really you?!" Flowey:"Dad!!!" Sans:"sup, your majesty?" ???:"Ha! There is no need for formalitties, Sans. You can just call me Asgore."  "I am so confused" I say. I'm looking for answers. Asgore:" Well, I am asgore, King of the underground, and that flower you're holding, I think is my son." ----This concludes AnxietyTale volume 1! If you want volume 2 chapter 1, make sure to like and share this--- P.s. sorry about the extremely short last paragraph.