Something about off stage and soft harry makes me all happy. Omg please he looks so cozy in the last one

Hey so its been a while…

A lot has happened since my last ‘breakdown’. I know that I am severely depressed and anxious but looking back throughout my life, something always felt different, i always felt weighed down. Like i couldn’t breathe, express and be grounded in my body. I always go back to thinking; Where did it all go wrong? Why do I think this way? Why do I act like this? Why do I self-sabotage? Always being in a state of question and fog that it is so hard to really know who i am and my identity is in this world. I feel like I’m never going to get the answer to some of these questions, like they will just linger there with no direction. Like me.

Like my previous posts, I have a hard time getting a fucking grip. Each time I feel like I can be strong and take control of my life, something leaves me feeling in less control than before. It feels like I get the wind knocked out of me each time. Even in my childhood, things would go well for a minute, and then all of a sudden my heads being banged against the kitchen cabinet. So shit like that. I feel like I’ve i emulate that chaotic unpredictable energy, at first it was just my environment but now its me. Now I’m the one destroying my happiness and my accomplishments. I cheated on my partner because I could not believe that I deserve that intimacy, love and compassion she has given me. I don’t know why tf would i bring myself to do that, but I hurt a lot and i guess that was the way it manifested. In no way I am excusing my behavior, yes trauma plays a role but I am still responsible for my choices and who they impact. We are going to couples therapy soon, in order to figure out a couple things. It’s not clear atp if we are going to stay together but therapy would help us better communicate. I have this habit that when my partner is trying to talk about their feelings about what I’ve done, its hard to empathize and be there for her without hating myself and shutting down.

In my childhood, I was a “trouble-maker” ( I don’t believe I was but main reason kids act out is because they want attention or needs are not being met. Mine definitely weren’t, like I wanted to be like every other kid but instead i felt so isolated, my “sister” and mother would often exile me because of my behavior it felt like. I never had a voice or an opinion. My parents even said the only reason they had kids was because we were their servants. They definitely did treat us like so too.) It was just exhausting. I was anxious everyday I cam home because I felt like i was always under a magnifying glass because i was so “sneaky, untrustworthy, fast”. I remember having thought as a child like “well if im such these things, they must be true, I am sneaky, untrustworthy, manipulative”.

This wasn’t just at home chile… I had to deal with the torment in school too. Growing up in NJ was brutal for a black girl like me. One wasn’t like Black American, I was from Haiti. We didn’t have the same social cues and customs. I was made fun of the way i looked, dressed, talked, everything. There was a year in school wear my dad got so frustrated selecting back to school shoes that he picked the ugliest option because i dont fucking know. (We never knew why he did or said the things he did, it was always walking around eggshells with him). Anyways, that whole school year i was made fun of for wearing brown and orange hiking sneakers from sketchers. Look I know my family was struggling with money but come on, especially it was the year Jordan’s were coming out and if you didn’t have them, you were basically a loser. I should be grateful, but it was hard to be when you were told in so many ways that you dont matter. It doesnt matter that you dont like that color or would prefer a different style. That made me learn how to take shit with a smile because if I didn’t like it, that would be another issue I’d regret even expressing.

Anyways, what do i do now. Im so exhausted.

I hate everything I took with me from childhood, I want to release all of that gunk and dirtiness. I want a do-over, a hard fucking reset.

Lately, i have been resonating a lot with BPD. Specifically quiet or discouraged. I am fine on the outside but inside I feel like a little demon running around going crazy and screaming for relief. Like nothing is soothing it.

My IPad is about to die so that’s it for now. Sorrows and Prayers.

toyota hilux insurance

toyota hilux insurance

toyota hilux insurance

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toyota hilux insurance

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Hydration Is About More Than Just Drinking Water — How to Hydrate at the Cellular Level to Improve Health and Longevity Dr. Mercola By Dr. Mercola Dr. Zach Bush is a physician and researcher with a practice in Charlottesville, Virginia. Bush is triple board-certified in internal medicine, endocrinology and metabolism, as well as hospice and palliative care, giving him an unusually broad range of expertise. Before he switched his focus to nutrition and natural medicine, he was a cancer researcher. In our last interview, we discussed intracellular communication and the importance of soil microbes in the growing of food. Here, our focus is on hydration. "A lot of our discussion last time was around the gut. There's rising awareness in the medical industry, as well as in the lay public, of the importance of gut health for human health. However, even though this general correlation has now been largely assumed, if not proven, there remains a disconnect between understanding why gut health is so important and how it impacts so many phases of health and disease. Hydration, this topic we're covering today, is a huge piece of that puzzle," Bush says. Redefining Hydration Your gut is an important part of the hydration cycle. The question is, how do you move water from the intestinal lining into your bloodstream and, more importantly, into your cells? As noted by Bush, when we talk about hydration, we're not simply talking about drinking enough water throughout the day but, more specifically, getting water inside your cells. "That's two vastly different things," he says. A common recommendation to ensure hydration is to drink water until your urine runs clear. Unfortunately, even most medical professionals are stuck in this simplified mindset. "It's not unusual to put 5 liters of water into somebody's vein in a matter of hours in the operating room or the emergency room," Bush says, "And so, we have this huge infusion into the bloodstream, but unfortunately, that does not necessarily translate into water inside the cell. That, as it turns out, is really a crux of what we call the aging process." About two-thirds of your body is composed of water, and a majority of that water — about 66 to 70 percent — is within your cells and lymph system. With age, your body tends to lose its ability to get water from the vasculature, the extracellular environment, to the inside of your cells. "If we could stay perfectly hydrated in the intracellular environment, our aging would slow down if not reverse," Bush says. The reason is because water is an important mechanism by which you remove toxins and naturally-produced oxidants from your body. Intracellular Hydration Is Key for Health So, the crux is to hydrate your cells, and simply drinking water is not typically the most effective strategy to achieve this. Oftentimes the water you drink will simply be urinated out before it has a chance to get into your cells. And, without proper intracellular hydration, your health suffers. Bush explains: "The obvious thing around hydration is the inflammatory processes. Chronic inflammation is the accumulation of oxidative compounds within our cells and then, ultimately, within the bloodstream. That is largely the result of a lack of interaction of hydrogen that's within the water system. Water is one of the main carriers of hydrogen. This affects every signaling system in your body, and perhaps most notable, beyond the [cleansing] part, is actual fuel production. Your cells run on ATP, adenosine triphosphate. ATP is produced by the mitochondria, which look like bacteria, but they live inside your cells. They're about 100 times smaller than bacteria. These mitochondria take the sugar and fat out of your food system and turn that into ATP. They do that through a series of enzymes. The respiratory chain is a series of enzymes in the wall of the mitochondria that is the one that will ultimately result in the production of ATP. Interestingly, the F1F0 [ATP synthase] pump, a tiny molecular structure at the end of this enzyme pathway, is what will convert one adenosine diphosphate to one molecule of ATP. That last step requires four hydrogens, two oxygens and two electrons … When you think about the structure of water, which is going to be a combination of two hydrogen [molecules] for every oxygen [molecule], you basically have two H2O molecules, and their concerted electrons are going to be necessary for that last step of fuel production. The clinical manifestation of aging and inflammation is ultimately one of the loss of fuel production at the mitochondrial level. As you get dehydrated, as you fail to get oxygen and hydrogen in the form of water inside the cell, you lose the ability for those mitochondria to be cranking out all of that energy … used for cellular repair, replacement and the whole anti-aging effort." Oxygen Derived From Intercellular Water In aerobic respiration that occurs in the mitochondria, the ultimate electron acceptor is oxygen. A common belief is that oxygen is derived from the air we breathe. But Bush contends that oxygen is also derived from hydrolysis of intercellular water into hydrogen (H2) and oxygen (O), and that to consistently get the proper ratio of oxygen to hydrogen, you need to liberate the oxygen from the water (H2O). "[T]he H2 molecule is now recognized to be one of the best selective antioxidants for the hydroxyl free radical. What that means is that the hydroxyl free radical, which is the most noxious to the cell membrane and our ability to do cell maintenance, can be scrubbed or picked up by the H2. In this way, the water you're drinking is a delivery of both oxygen and hydrogen in a nice ratio where you can release the O's with their electrons. They become O2. They release H's in the form of H2. They become a scrubber of inflammation and substrate for the ATP pump." According to Bush, all of his patients are dehydrated. Indeed, he believes virtually everyone is dehydrated to some extent. In his clinic, he measures hydration by measuring phase angle. Phase angle is measured in a way similar to that of a whole body bioimpedance that is typically done to measure body fat. It uses electrocardiograph leads placed on your limbs and allows you to measure the electrical resistance to a standardized current running through your body tissues. How to Measure Your Hydration Level For the phase angle, leads are placed on your wrist, finger, ankle and toe. Lying flat, the resistance and reactions across your entire body are measured. This measurement gives you a good ides of your cells' ability to hold an electrical charge and there's a direct correlation between the phase angle and an individual's hydration level. As explained by Bush, "An electrical charge across the single cell membrane is a very powerful measure of your capacity to intracellularly hydrate, to get water inside of your cells … I've never seen somebody coming in with a health complaint with a phase angle better than 7." In the general public, the angle phase bell curve is between 3.5 and 10. Death tends to happen around 3.5. "Interestingly, all of our cancer patients tend to come in around 4.5 or below, which is interesting because it suggests, from a hydration standpoint … cancer doesn't happen until you're so dry that you're nearly dead. In this way, cancer is not a disease that pops out of anywhere. It's simply a lack of water within the cells. You get an accumulation of oxidative damage, which will then do the DNA injury and all of these other things that we think of as being the cancer process … Ideal health is up around 10. Death is around 3.5. Most of us in the U.S. are living between 6 and 8, and those are people in good health." The Health of Your Cellular Membranes Influences Your Ability to Properly Hydrate Bush has done a lot of work on tight junctions — Velcro-like proteins that create macromembranes that hold the cells together. One of the primary tools used to measure the health of these membranes is transepithelial electrical resistance (TEER), an ohmmeter with microscopic filament attachments that allows you to measure both the inside and outside of the membrane, giving you an indication of the resistance across the epithelial layer. Bush explains: "That epithelial layer is acting as a resistor, if you will, just like the rubber on a copper wire. That plastic or rubber coating on the wire is insulating it so that the electricity stays inside the wire and doesn't short out. In the same way, your macromembranes, the barrier systems of your gut lining, of your blood vessel tree, the blood-brain barrier, all of these create an electrical gradient across them at the macrolevel. What we've shown, with regard to hydration, is that the higher that electrical charge across that membrane, the more likely you are to pull water across … You've got over a billion cells forming your gut lining. If you just take one of those cells … the electrical charge across that [cell], when you're healthy, when you're up around the phase angle of 10 to 12 … that charge is above 10,000 volts. Imagine the electrical energy of a lightning bolt being held across a barrier that's just a few microns in space. It defies our normal understanding of Newtonian physics. It's absolutely down in the quantum physics realm that a cell membrane that tiny is able to hold that enormous electrical charge. What builds that electrical charge is ultimately the mitochondria. We talked about the mitochondria cranking out ATP. In the process of taking glucose or fat and turning it into ATP, the electron transport chain, Krebs cycle — all of these mechanisms of fuel production — create electrons. You're creating this high electrical force within the cell through mitochondrial energy production. That leads to a gradient. A high electrical gradient is going to pull water inside the cell … [So,] you can't talk about mitochondrial health or mitochondrial production or fuel production without talking about water. Those two are absolutely inseparable … If you start taking a bunch of supplements but you don't have that electrical charge across the membrane, you can't get the [nutrient] to transit into where it needs to be, because you're lacking all of that intracellular commerce that's being driven primarily by the electrical charge that's driving water that will pull the rest of it with it." Your Phase Angle Provides a Sense of Your Biological Age About a year and a half ago I visited Bush's clinic and had a phase angle test done. To locate a practitioner that can provide this service, see RJL Systems' Locate a Practitioner page.1 At the time, my phase angle was about 5.6. I was quite annoyed because I thought my healthy lifestyle would result in a better reading. But it motivated me to make some changes and in about nine months I got it up to about 6.4 and more recently it has climbed to 7.0. It's a rather slow process, as it's not influenced by temporary situations but a rather long-term reflection of your biology. According to Bush: "The phase angle … is the best technique for really developing a sense of biologic age. You went from a 5.6 to a 6.4 over about a nine-month period … So, in just nine months on some very simple interventions, you reversed your age by 10 to 15 years biologically by getting that phase angle up. The chance of you developing a chronic disease, something like cancer, just went dramatically down because you're getting water inside the cell — you're scrubbing the whole system out … We're all very aware that we have toxin accumulation in our body … But all of our detox efforts are ineffective if we're not getting water inside the cell. With your phase angle going up, now all of your detox efforts are going to be far more potent and effective. Why is it so slow? It's slow because it's literally showing you the mitochondrial potential in the reservoir of your ability to repair in 70 trillion cells … It's mind-boggling huge numbers. It's one thing to say, 'I improved kidney health today by hydrating,' or, 'I stopped drinking alcohol, so now my liver is healthier.' We're not talking about a single organ with the phase angle. We're talking about the total global population in your body of 70 trillion cells. How do we affect that and what is it doing? That's where the phase angle is a powerful tool." Improving Hydration Does Not Require Drinking More Water It's important to note that I was able to improve my phase angle without increasing the amount of water I drink. Again, when we're talking about hydration, it's not a matter of just drinking water, because you're likely to just pee the extra water out if you don't have a sufficiently high electrical charge. To actually improve the electrical charge across your membranes, Bush recommends: • Taking terrahydrite humic compounds such as Restore,2 which helps support your macromembranes, allowing for greater intracellular hydration. Restore also works on the mitochondria to ramp up the reactive oxygen species production in damaged cells, which takes the stress off healthy cells. All of that helps shift the electrical potential of your mitochondria to increase the electrical charge, which allows more water to enter the cells. • Reducing electromagnetic field (EMF) toxicity. "What is the relationship between hydration and EMF? This is a really cool subject," Bush says. "The tight junction is actually helps maintain … the integrity of the cell-to-cell adhesion, allowing maintenance of the gap junctions that lay behind the tight junction barrier system." As explained by Bush, you have tens of thousands of gap junctions between one cell and the next cell — tubules that resemble fiber optic cables when viewed under electron microscopy. These gap junctions pass electrical light energy from one cell cytoplasm to the next cell without ever exiting into the extracellular matrix. In other words, a healthy cell population is one concurrent "mass of electrical energy" that can pass through this virtual "electrical circuit board" of the cells. A number of environmental stressors can damage your gap junction system, including pesticides and other chemicals, EMF, alcohol and drugs such as nonsteroidal anti-inflammatories. "These compounds are very noxious to the tight junction systems," Bush warns. And, when the gap junctions are disconnected, you end up with a decrease in electrical energy coherence, and a reduction in the frequency resonance between your cells. In a dehydrated state, you end up accumulating toxins due to a lack of electrical energy flow. When you add in exposure to cellphones, Wi-Fi routers and other wireless technologies that output high amounts of electrical resonance, your already disconnected cells become prone to resonating to the wrong frequency. "This is one of the critical realities. We cannot talk about tight junction damage or dehydration without mentioning this third toxicity that we're exposed to, which is environmental frequency resonance that's nonhuman," Bush says. The Importance of Water, Electrolytes and Fiber According to Bush, a good rule of thumb for water intake is 1 ounce of water per kilogram of body weight. "So, if you're a 75-kilogram, i.e., about 150- or 165-pound individual, you should be drinking around 70 to 75 ounces of water a day," he says. However, as mentioned, cellular hydration goes beyond the need for water. You also need to address the electrical charge within your cells. Two important measures were just discussed above (supporting your macromembranes with Restore and reducing EMF exposure). Drinking electrolyte-rich water is also important, as it too helps build electrical charges. "The classic electrolyte in our American diet is sodium chloride (table salt)" Bush says. "Sodium chloride has a positive charge around the sodium and a negative charge around the chloride. That chloride anion, or negative charge, is one of the mega potentials there for hydration … Of course, there are many other important sources. For example, potassium chloride is a classic delivery system for chloride. However, potassium chloride can stop the heart at a certain dose. There's a fine line between dose and overdose when it comes to just about anything in nature. But certainly, the electrolytes are one of these … The easy way to titrate your electrolytes is by your bowel movements. If you start to develop loose stools when you're adding electrolytes, you're probably adding a little bit too much electrolyte. You can get electrolyte powders at any natural food store. Some of them are liquids. Some of them are powders. I don't have a brand preference overall. I would say, think about mixing it up, and see what your body tolerates. Some of the liquid ones are so concentrated that they can cause nausea. A lot of people will get diarrhea or loose stools on them … Find the dose at which your bowel is tolerating that electrolyte load. It's important to note that you don't only want to drink electrolyte water. You'd want to drink both free water and electrolyte water intermittently throughout the day … When I'm going through a hydration protocol with my patients, for three days they'll do an intensive hydration protocol where they're drinking 4 ounces every 30 minutes. They'll do that from about 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. Then they'll give their body a break. They can pee off what they need to before they go to sleep at 9:30 or 10 p.m. In that 12 hours of intense hydration every 30 minutes, every other [4-ounce dose] has electrolyte in it." Another important component is fiber. "Fiber is one of the most important mechanisms by which your fruits, vegetables and, ultimately, your body, are going to manage water," Bush says. Fruits and vegetables also contain other valuable micronutrients, including silica, which not only benefits your gut microbiome, but also helps improve hydration inside your cells. An herbal supplement that provides high amounts of organified silica is horsetail. Avoid mineral silica, as it actually promotes oxidation and is very dehydrating. Come and See Dr. Bush Speak in November in Orlando I first met Dr. Bush at the Academy of Comprehensive and Integrative Medicine (ACIM) in Orlando two years ago. It is by far my favorite professional event to attend as there is just a stellar group of clinicians sharing their insights on how to optimize health with natural strategies that are typically ignored by conventional medicine. Of course, I will also be speaking along with a list of many other outstanding clinicians, such as Drs. Dietrich Klinghardt, Lee Cowden, Daniel Amen and many others that you can see here. If you are a clinician, I could not encourage you more strongly to join me in Orlando November 8 through 11. If you are an interested lay person, there will be a two-day event for you that last year had 500 attendees, at which I will also be sharing my latest strategies on how to improve your health. More Information To learn more about Bush's work, products and educational events, see his website, ZachBushMD.com.

LOS CAMPESINOS! REVIEW: Hold On Now, Youngster...

It’s been around a decade now since Los Camp’s formation and the release of “Hold on Now, Youngster…”, and it’s been kinda funny seeing this as a starting point for a band that would go onto making stuff like “No Blues” or the not-quite-new-but-most-recent “Sick Scenes.” The band, especially singer/lyricist/face of the band, Gareth Campesinos! is really not fond of this “twee-style” period they ended up being pigeonholed in for a while, and they don’t seem to have many nice things to say about it aside from maybe the 3-4 songs from this record they still play in live concerts (when I saw them, I think they only played 4, 2 of them were for the encore).

The kinda depressing or funny thing (you don’t have to pick just one) is that despite their animosity towards this period and this album in particular, it evidently struck a chord with their audience, since this album did pretty damn well critically and commercially as a first outing. It’s juvenile and innocent and kinda bordering on emo music with a serious addiction to the glockenspiel, but there’s something with these releases that did have a serious appeal, and probably not just because there were a lot of emo/indie scenesters in the mid-late 2000’s.

(IT'S SAD THAT YOU THINK THAT WE'RE ALL JUST SCENESTERS / AND EVEN IF WE WERE, IT'S NOT THE SCENE YOU'RE THINKING OF)

Now I can’t really speak for other people, but as for me, the reason why I’ve become so fond of it does sort of tie back into that whole “pop-revivalist” thing, in that it just felt so damn refreshing. This was made before the term “indie” became a meaningless household buzzword that came to define anything with some slightly lo-fi guitar gunk to it, and Los Camp have a legit life and vibrancy to them, almost kinda punk-ish at times, but with just enough glockenspiel, violin and clean-ass major guitar riffs for you to want to dance more than… I dunno, probably mosh, but honestly, they’d likely still be naturally too colorful to do that (just check out their cover of a Black Flag song from this era).

It’s not the most utterly original sound -- their 80’s-90’s twee and punk inspirations pretty clear, especially from their B-Sides and bonus tracks consisting of covers of their songs (including Heavenly, Black Flag and Pavement) -- but you know what, every band is someone’s first, and damnit I immediately fell in love with “You! Me! Dancing!” the first time I heard it, and it’s still an excellent representation of this band’s era. The epic minute and a half giant wall of sound intro, the tight, loud percussion, instantly catchy guitar riff (thanks for singing Pavement’s “Box Elder” in live shows so we know where you got that from, Gareth!), and charmingly memorable chorus and spoken word outro, it all works incredibly well.

I say “this era” though, because some of what makes Los Camp even better in my eyes, namely its ability to convey such conflicting emotions with lyrics and composition, is kinda lost here, and that’s probably a reason why Gareth dislikes this album so much. It feels very more in-your-face and visceral, especially in the light of how he’s gotten much more comfortable with a wittier, more self-deprecating style, especially with newer releases like “Sick Scenes,” which I can only believe was his goal since day 1.

That’s fine, and I get his frustration about being associated with “twee” shit, but the thing is that I still heavily appreciate it, not just because I have a soft spot for this cheesy, UK-based indie music, but because on its own, it’s still really, really good. Damn good. Honestly, while I do like the slightly-more complex, bit more focused and specific Los Camp, musically, this is probably one of my favorites, and certainly its most playfully enjoyable and raw.

(IF YOU CATCH ME WITH MY HANDS IN THE TILL / I PROMISE, SUGAR, I WASN'T TRYING TO STEAL / I'M JUST SWIMMING IN COPPER / TO SMELL AND PRETEND LIKE A ROBOT!)

I’ve found in comparing lyrics from this album to other releases, even including the next one released 8 months later, “We Are Beautiful, We Are Doomed,” is that they feel by far the most straightforward in their discography (aside from that “Sockets” EP). It’s not “simpler,” per se, because even back then, Gareth’s already managed to convey enjoyably-conflicting moods, such as the case with “This Is How You Spell ‘HAHAHA, We Destroyed the Hopes and Dreams of a Generation of Faux-Romantics’” (why yes, the entire title does appear in the lyrics!), and “We Are All Accelerated Readers,” which manage to contain kinda smarmy self-righteousness, but have an incredibly cathartic and gleeful “HAHAHA, FUCK YOU”-ness and a moody disillusionment and listlessness, respectively.

No, what I mean by “straightforward” is pretty much that Gareth doesn’t seem like so much he’s dancing around certain concepts, like it doesn’t feel like ambiguously dodging topics about death or failing relationships or the like underneath his obscure references and wordplay and stuff. Rather, here he’s preferring to confront those matters upfront and kinda shout at his targets. It gets both pretty heartbreaking but also darkly amusing in “Knee Deep at ATP,” where he recounts discovering a girl he meets at the titular festival is already in a relationship through a love letter, where his focus is “for each correctly used apostrophe / I could feel my heart sink inside my chest in front of me.”

Overly direct? Maybe, but it still paints a pretty clear image and mood, and is actually pretty charming, especially as the song starts up with its vivid energy, then trailing into an uncharacteristically (but not unappreciably) slow and melodic twing-twanginess and violin section before slowly building back up again to that energy as the band screams “‘Not what you like, but what you're like as a person’ /  Well, I need new hobbies, that's one thing for certain!” There’s a reason why Los Camp still seems to like this song and play it after all these years.

Another example of that simple-but-sweet-ness is “My Year In Lists,” where we get this really punchy, playful percussion and verses with this girl, I think is Aleks Campesinos!, gleefully shouting alongside Gareth as he details his long-distance relationship through snail-mail, how “You said, ‘Send me stationary to make me horny’ / So I always write you letters in multicolours /  Decorating envelopes for foreplay / Damn extended metaphors, I get carried away”. It’s ridiculously indie and twee and sardonic as hell, especially as the chorus repeatedly goes “I cherish with fondness the day (before) I met you,” but I fucking love it.

(MY YEAR IN LISTS / STOMPING ON YOUR FINGERS AS YOU'RE CLINGING ON TO THE ABYSS)

Oh yeah, other thing to mention is the occasional duet vocalist, Aleks Campesinos! (Aleksandra Berditchevskaia), who was featured very prominently in early Los Camp songs until her departure around Hello Sadness. Vocals have always been a bit of a weird thing for a long time, and up until Gareth really and suddenly got his shit together with “Sick Scenes” (really, compare any song from this album to “5 Flucloxacillin”), most of the charm with the vocals came from not being very good, but still heartfelt and poetic (which granted, he himself admitted was still technically not very good, and also a reason why he doesn’t like this album).

However, Aleks was able to consistently provide a great contrast for the many call-and-response duets in this album, such as with the AWESOME opener, “Death to Los Campesinos!” and later "...And We Exhale and Roll Our Eyes in Unison,” which really take advantage of her much smoother, more melodic voice to provide the band’s massively conflicting themes, and they would continue to do that for future albums. Though at times even she can’t escape the occasional cringey off-keyness, especially with "Don't Tell Me to Do the Math(s)," which considering how its themes are probably TOO basic for it to be really forgivable, is the only track I normally skip listening to this album.

(WE KNOW THAT WE COULD SELL YOUR MAGAZINES / IF ONLY YOU WOULD GIVE YOUR LIFE TO LITERATURE / JUST DON'T READ JANE EYRE)

But another thing that I really like about this album is just how it flows so damn well from song to song without any of them being too samey or too sticked-out. It’s able to sinewave really well from starting off, again, with the bombastic and catchy “Death to Los Campesinos!”, then suddenly escalating with the even-more louder, shouty "Broken Heartbeats Sound Like Breakbeats" before it suddenly decrescendos and slows down to fit the mood of “Don’t Tell Me To Do the Math(s),” etc., all climaxing with “Sweet Dreams, Sweet Cheeks,” which is frankly the  band’s loudest, catchiest, most harmonious, most epic closer track in their discography (okay, technically there’s an unlisted bonus track called "2007: The Year Punk Broke (My Heart)", but I count that more as an epilogue, though it’s still awesome). There’s simply never a dull moment.

(AND IT HITS AS HARD AS A BLOW TO THE HEAD / OR A SMASH TO THE SKULL, OR A KNEE TO YOUR CHEST / AND SWEET DREAMS, SWEET CHEEKS / OH, TOMORROW, OH, TOMORROW, OH, TOMORROW)

Is it the most complex thing this band has to offer? Probably not, but it more than makes up for it in my eyes for its sheer raw energy. Gareth and the band itself might not look kindly on this because it doesn’t fit the wittier, more mature goals they’d later reach with future releases, and this is probably is something they’d rather mostly forget, but at the same time, it still accomplished something that made people want to care about this Cardiff joint.

It provided them with one hell of an avenue to speak their early concepts of brewing brilliance, and sure, audiences probably didn’t realize at the time just what they would later be capable of, but as is, it’s still a fantastic album that stands very well alone, even as an admitted black-sheep relic as it exists 10 years later.

It’s also amusingly ironic, since within this album itself, Gareth himself says in the awesome spoken-word outro to “You! Me! Dancing!” that “On the way home, it always seems like a good idea to go paddling in the fountain, and that's because it IS a good idea, and we're just like how Rousseau depicts man in the state of nature: We're undeveloped, we're ignorant, we're stupid, but we're happy.”  Is it as adolescent, at-times willingly pretentious and overly saccharine as Gareth makes it out to be? Eh, maybe, but be damned if it doesn’t manage to convince us (maybe unintentionally so, but still) that the idea of jumping in that fountain is an awesome one. (4.5/5)

FAVES: “Death to Los Campesinos!,” “My Year in Lists,” “Knee Deep at ATP,” “We Are All Accelerated Readers,” “You! Me! Dancing!” “Sweet Dreams, Sweet Cheeks,” “2007: The Year Punk Broke (My Heart)”

Its giving rich CEO husband coming from a meeting

THE POUTS ARE TO CUTE