#sigh... autismposting
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overwhelmed in class today and tried doing the hand flapping stim and that shit felt so good. like instantly soothing. where has this been all my life. i think i need a diagnosis.
#sigh... autismposting#ramblies#part of me is like ''but am i REALLY autistic bc i only started hand flapping when i got friends that do it and felt not judged''#like of course i wouldnt have started doing it naturally. i felt like people wouldve judged me so i just developed other stims instead#like my constant rocking. and kneading my thigh with my foot when cross-legged. and the swaying while standing and#you get the picture.#also the 10 other reasons why i think im on the spectrum™ are still there#sensory issues. focus issues. special interests. the whole dragon-obsessed-since-1st-grade thing. the fact that i just dont understand#certain social cues and have like. a barely-present sarcasm radar. the fact that all of my good friends have either autism or adhd....#funny how that works out. birds of a feather flock together <3#also i got 131 on the raads-r test which is.... i know not a stand-in for a formal diagnosis but that aint a negligible number besties#not to mention the fact that regardless of my symptoms i always feeling im just Missing a Chip that Other (neurotypical) People Have!#like goddamn i really just have been autistic this entire time huh. it makes things make so much sense...#like i have to work double-time in my brain to match some semblance of ''normalcy!!''
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