#she meant it nicely too i dont wanna misconstrue her tone but still lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ilovethecolorpink · 3 years

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7 am and i was holding back tears brushing my teeth because her birthday is in less than 2 weeks and last year i was so overwhelmed with love for her and sent her a long series of letters i wrote to her over the course of many months expressing that and while i do still love her, i don’t know what to send her other than a birthday text i would send just about anyone and that makes me feel guilty for some reason but also just so sad over the fact that that’s the case in general

#she said 2 months ago (after we’d not spoken for 6 weeks) that she wanted to try to get back to where we once were #and maybe it takes more than 2 months but we just aren’t. and somehow we feel even farther away than before #and that just makes me so sad #but i dont know how to talk to her anymore #she’s like sent me 2 tipsy snapchats talking about me to her friends and like they make me so uncomfy :/ and idk why they do #bc they should probably make me feel good that she wants to talk about me to other ppl and starts saying such nice things in them ???#but like i never know what to say to them and after the first one she was like i hope u dont think i was rubbing it in ur face #(rubbing in my face that she was with people i assume???) and like what do u even say to that like #she meant it nicely too i dont wanna misconstrue her tone but still lol #i sent her a tiktok 3 days ago that was like about long distance friendships and was all lovey about it and she hasnt responded and im just #like ughhhfhdajdjaktjajidj!!!!!#i need to not let this eat at me so hopefully this will help lmfao #anyways like i said in the post … i still do love her but idk it’s just not what it once was #and i dont feel like . as attached as i once did and like while i think that’s better it stil kinda sucks that after everything #this is where we’ve ended up #a month ago i started planning something to send her for her bday and then i just never continued bc i just never felt that same feeling #idk if i’m still hurt from what happened this summer but it just hasnt been the same since #i think i just kinda have to accept that maybe we’re too different now too busy too whatever and we can never had what we had again #at least not now… and that rlly sucks :(#this was word vomit and i think i accidentally made myself more sad but . on we go i guess #mine #x

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