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#she can channel those feelings to try and overtake the anxiety
rragnaroks · 8 months
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okay i know we all know OFMD has helped queer people not only feel seen but in other ways too. it's helped poc and neurodiverse folks and fat folks and disabled folks. i fit into most of those categories and i feel so seen and safe in this space.
but wanna hear a silly little way it's managed to help even my straight, neurotypical, tiny little sister cope with the world? to her OFMD was her sister's pirate brainrot show. then i made her watch it and to her, it's still just a funny, albeit heartwarming show.
but. she's no longer deathly afraid of gulls, because all gulls can be karl and livvy.
fucking amazing.
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purplesurveys · 3 years
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1037
survey by joybucket
Do you have a vlog? No, but I’ve always thought it would be fun to start and maintain one. Just never got around to it because it’s so much work, from conceptualizing to shooting to editing; and idk if my humor will translate to the camera. Plus I hate being shot in public, so it would never work out for me.
If not, have you ever considered starting a vlog? Yeah, a lot of times. It just looks like such a therapeutic outlet that I can sink my teeth into. Who knows, if I ever gain more confidence in the future I may just try making a video or two.
Did you go to AM or PM kindergarten? AM. As much as I hated waking up early from ages 4-6, it was nice to be home by noon and it also made for good training for the rest of my years in school.
What are your favorite youtube channels to watch? Good Mythical Morning, several wrestling-themed channels for their weekly lists, and KBS for their Return of Superman clips. I have a lot of other subscriptions, but those are the main ones I’ve been tuning into lately.
Which relative(s) do you look the most like? I get my mom the most, but sometimes I’ll be told I look like my dad as well.
Have you ever watched a live birth video? I don’t think so.
Have you ever given birth? Definitely not.
Do you remember when the Internet was a new thing? That wouldn’t be possible as I wasn’t born yet and by the time that I was, the internet had already been around for a few years.
Do you remember Y2K? I was alive when it happened but barely conscious, so no. I was only 2.
How old were you when the year changed to 2000? I was 1, turning 2 that year.
What was your favorite childhood vacation? We didn’t have lots of vacations when I was a kid, because for most of the 2000s my parents were still busy saving up and climbing up their respective ladders at work. We only started to regularly go on vacations by the time I was around 11, when finances started to get easier to handle. That said, as a kid I really loved the time my parents would bring us to the local water park on weekends.
Have you ever wished you were born the opposite gender? As a teenager when hating pink and general girliness was cool, probably. I don’t wish for it now.
What's your birth order: oldest, middle, or youngest? I’m the eldest.
Do you fit the stereotype for whatever birth order you are? Idk what kind of stereotype you’re looking for, tbh. As much as I don’t really like tooting my own horn, I’ve heard firstborns are usually more intelligent than their younger siblings and I would attest to at least that lol
Have you ever worn overalls? Yup, though they aren’t the denim kind.
If you're a girl, how old were you when you started your period? I had just turned 10. I thought I was going to get it while I was still 9 (the signs had been showing for a while by then), but it ultimately came a month after my 10th birthday. Still, I was one of the rare cases in my family who had it at a lot younger.
Do you get cramps? I used to get leg cramps all the goddamn time as a kid, and they always came in the middle of the night. I don’t get them or any kind of cramps anymore, thankfully; and the only time I do is on my fingers when I don’t hold my chopsticks properly.
Is your mom mentally stable? I think there are definitely some things therapy could fix.
Is your dad a complete jerk to you? No, you’re referring to the other parent.
Where do you want to go on vacation next? Oh my godddddd, Thailand plz.
What is one place you want to visit before you die? Wrestlemania.
Has anyone ever committed suicide in your town, that you know of? A neighbor’s kid passed away a few months ago, but I didn’t know them.
What's your favorite type of crackers? Ritz Bits are where it’s at.
What's your favorite spice? Cumin.
Are you sensitive? Yeah. I’m a little soft and I tend to take a lot of things personally.
Are you intuitive? It wouldn’t be the first word I’d use to describe myself, but I guess I have my moments.
Are you spiritual? No.
Do you wish your life were easier? Um, if it was a legitimate option then yeah obviously.
What color hair did your first crush have? Black.
What was the name of your first crush? Andi.
Did you ever play on Mamamedia.com? I don’t think I’ve heard of that site. If we’re talking of websites that host flash games or whatever it is they’re called, I always hung out on Y8 haha.
Do you remember your first email address? I didn’t anymore before encountering this, but this question made me automatically rack my brain and now I do remember and now I’m wincing as well. 
Did you name your lego characters? I didn’t make any characters, I think. I just liked making towers.
What was/is your high school's mascot? Both my schools don’t have mascots.
What is/was your favorite class in high school? All the history classes we had to take under the social sciences umbrella; it was Philippine history for freshman year, Asian history for sophomore year; world history in junior year; and then unfortunately we made the switch to basic economics for senior year which was like ???? Why couldn’t we have gone all the way with history? Economics ended up being super boring lol.
Is college an adventure? It really was. I grew and learned so much in it and I couldn’t have spent the last four years in a better place and a better school.
Do you take medication for anxiety or depression? No.
If so, does it work? Does it help you? Or does it make you feel worse?
If applicable, what form of birth control do you use?
Who is your favorite cousin? My eldest cousin on my mom’s side, who pretty much feels like my older brother and not a cousin at this point.
Do you look your age? According to most, no. I look a little younger than 22.
What's your favorite flavor of frosting? Chocolateeeeeeee.
Do you like toe socks? I’ve never had to wear those before so I don’t have an opinion.
Muffins or cupcakes? Cupcakes.
Have you ever had a bag stolen? I’ve had a wallet stolen, so kinda.
How old were you when you got your first phone? I was technically still 6 because I had an advanced celebration, but it was for my 7th birthday.
Are you ready for summer?!?! Now that I think about it I do want to go back to summer, just because it was such a vastly different – and a lot happier – time...
Is winter your favorite season? It probably would be if we had it.
How many people do you know who've said winter is their favorite season? Zero.
Are you unique in any way? I think everyone is.
Do you have any hidden talents? if there are any left, I’m not aware of them yet.
Has anyone said you and your mom look like sisters? Just about everyone, all the time.
Who was your best friend in high school? Gabie for the most part, but Angela was there as well.
What book or movie gave you nightmares as a child? Commercials creeped me out as a child, not a certain book or movie.
What song makes you cry? Usually it’s 26 by Paramore, but not always.
Does anyone know who your first crush was besides you? Yeah, I’ve told a couple of people.
How many teachers have you had crushes on? I think around three or four. Possibly more, but I don’t remember all too well as I’ve since discarded a lot of memories from my old school.
Did you make your Barbie dolls get crushes on each other? Nah. I mostly stripped them of their clothes and broke their arms and legs, lol.
Did your Barbie dolls go on dates? Nope. I didn’t have enough dolls to do that, anyway. It wasn’t my toy of choice.
How old were you when you had your first kiss? I was 16.
Do you like church? Hell no.
Do you have scars from self-harm? You’d only be able to make them out if you knew I self-harmed, but I think they’re almost unrecognizable at this point.
Do you have cellulite? It’s only present if I tightly twist my skin.
How old were you when you started getting zits? Not sure, somewhere in the middle of high school. I’ve never had lasting problems with acne though; I only ever get one or two at a time and it happens like, once a year.
Did your hair change at all when you went through puberty? Aside from hair growing in places? No, not really. It stayed the same.
Are you taller, shorter, or the same height as your mom? I’m a tad bit shorter, though for a time it seemed as if my growth spurt would lead me to overtake her.
Would you ever consider adopting a child? It’s not a personal choice of mine, but there could very much be situations in the far future where I would consider doing so. I’m not shutting that possibility down.
Who was your first roommate? I’ve never had one; I haven’t tried living on my own yet.
Have you ever had a teacher who was rude? So many.
Is your mom paranoid? Very much so. She shows some signs of OCD and her paranoia is reflected through that. 
Do you trim your own hair? Not my hair, but I do this with my bangs.
Did your mom read you bedtime stories as a child? No. That’s one of the things I’ll change if I myself become a mom.
What are all the things you remember being for Halloween? Pirate, Tinkerbell, Daria, AJ Lee, Dora the Explorer, Sofie.
What was the name of the first pet that you loved? My first goldfish.
Did you have your own room as a child? Not until I was 10.
What color was your nursery? I wasn’t put in one. I shared a room with my parents and siblings until I was 10.
Did your parents know your gender before you were born? I think they waited it out until a few weeks before I was born.
What is your name (first and middle)? My first name is Robyn and my second is Isabelle; I don’t need to share my middle name.
What would you have been named if you had been born the opposite gender? They never thought about it, which is kinda disappointing because I do want to know what my other name could’ve been.
Do you like your name? I’ve ended up doing so, yes.
What would you name your children? I haven’t cemented decisions that far ahead. I have ideas for names, like Olivia, but they’re nothing absolute. 
Do you exercise regularly? Nope.
Do you have a healthy BMI? No, I’ve always been a little underweight.
What is your favorite season? Wet/rainy.
Do you look like your mom? This is like the third time I’ve answered this within just this survey lol, yes I do.
What is the origin of your last name? Spanish/Portuguese.
What is the meaning of your first name? I’ve heard it means ‘fame.’ I just don’t feel like checking.
What month were you born in? April.
Do you share a birthday with anyone in your family? Nope. But my sister and one of my cousins share the same birthday, right down to the year.
Do you have a sweet tooth? Eh, it comes out every now and then but it’s not all the time. I definitely enjoy savory more.
What photo editing software do you use? None lol, photo editing is one of my Achilles’ heels.
Where do you buy most of your clothes? Tianggeeeeeeeees.
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A New World Order (BB x NB AU) - Chapter 1
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Author’s Note: Hello! I have updated both the prologue and this chapter to reflect the changes to the story I’ve decided to make. The biggest difference is Isabel (my BB mc) IS a vampire because this is now set after book 3. This also makes some changes to the canon epilogue because the secret about vampires is still going to come out involuntarily instead of by choice. Also both Jax and Lily are still alive and will be present in future chapters and Isabel isn’t married or living with Adrian yet (that will be after the events of this series are done). 
Also, for the first few chapters (including the prologue) I’ll be posting them both on here and on my main blog @adrianadmirer . But, eventually, I’ll only be posting them on here so if you’re following me there and not on here and want to stay updated, be sure to do so!
I’m still working on chapter 2 but I hope to finish it some time in the near future. I just want this all to be good quality so, it won’t always be quick releases between chapters. I will be writing one-shots of Bloodbound and other fanfic on my main blog so, you can read those when I post them in the meantime.
Characters: Isabel Martinez (BB MC), Adrian Raines, Kamilah Sayeed, Phoebe Laskaris, Cal Lowell, Zelenia Laskaris (NB MC), Nik Ryder (briefly)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: When the Order of Dawn rises from the shadows once more, it lifts the veil of secrecy that’s protected the vampires in New York and puts them and humans in danger. 
@endlesshero1122 , @kinda-iconic , @lovemychoices , @desiree-0816 , @bloodboundismylife , @embarrassingsmartphonegame , @voseho , @something-in-red , @mrsmatsuo , @galaxyside-0 , @jlpplays1 , @brightpinkpeppercorn , @tabithacarlisle , @shelley-parah , @ladykateofhousebeaumont , @ella-raines , @furiouscloddonutpeanut , @itlivesinpixelberry , @fluffy-cat-whisper , @strangelycami , @heatherfilliez , @edgaluten , @parrotdrama
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Manhattan, New York, USA 
Watching the still darkened streets of the city through the windows of her new apartment, Isabel smiled as she sipped her scalding cup of coffee. It was a necessity for waking up at this early in the morning despite being a vampire and needing less sleep in general. This was one of many changes that came with her recent promotion to VP of Operations and even though she already had a week under her belt, her nerves still threatened to drown her. Ever since Adrian first broke the news that she had been chosen by the board, she still had doubts about her abilities. 
She had been with the company barely over a year now and at almost 24 she was still the youngest executive at Raines’ Corps. But, somehow six out of nine old mostly white men thought her limited experience was better than the three other candidates in the running. Adrian in fact had nothing to do with the process expect signing off the board’s choice. 
Letting out a sigh, the sound of her phone going off pulled herself out of her head the self-critical thoughts that clouded it. 
A crease formed between her brows as her gaze latched onto the shiny new device on the kitchen counter. She set her coffee mug on the table and picked it up, frowning as a sense of foreboding coiled in her veins when a video popped up all by itself. 
Had her phone been hacked?
The dread grew as she remembered the last time this had occurred. It had been awhile but, being a Bloodkeeper meant being unable to forget much. Back then, it had brought death and destruction. Swallowing, Isabel tapped on the small white triangle and after a minute of loading, it began to play. 
At first, the screen was staticky like from the old TV her parents still kept in the attic. The black and white dots cleared to reveal grainy security footage that made a chill run up her spine. The familiar pink and red surroundings of Serafine’s club were easily discernible. Isabel’s eyes widened in horror as her intuition worked its magic. That night in Paris soon after Gaius’s return. 
“No.”
Much to her dismay, the familiar images of the raid from months earlier appeared. First, the empty VIP room that they had just vacated. Then the Order of the Dawn stormed in and Jax and Seraphine running inside, the first of their group to do so. Isabel then saw Adrian run in before she followed a minute later. 
She already knew what came next but, she couldn’t make the video stop no matter how hard she tried. She was forced to watch his chilling massacre of the Order soldiers, ripping their hearts out one by one and her desperate pleas for him to stop. The video continued until the footage finally cut right before she had gotten through to Adrian. 
Isabel barely had time to process the footage when the much clearer image of an older brunette woman appeared. A loud gasp sounded as she recognized her as Derek’s aunt. His family had always given off a strange vibe, being oddly secretive and around all the time. Then, her gaze homed in on the tiny gold pin engraved with the Order’s emblem fastened to one of the white lapels. 
Her mouth went dry and she almost dropped her phone as she realized that the two were connected and that they were back. 
"Good morning my fellow Americans. I am Phoebe Laskaris,” the woman stated, her voice as hard as steel. “You know me as President of Laskaris Industries, the proud leader in the safe and reliable source of fossil fuel energy around the world."
Isabel’s impression of her hadn't changed since the last time they had seen each other. She was too pristine and a bit abrasive and had always made her feel like she wasn't good enough for Derek's highbrow family. Both she and his father had even blamed her for his abuse of her. Only Phoebe's daughter, who Isabel had befriended during their relationship expressed any concern for her until she abruptly stopped talking to her. 
The plastered on smile disappeared on the woman's face and her expression hardened. 
"But, today I come to you as the co-leader with my brother Alaric of a different organization--The Order of the Dawn. We are a society that is dedicated to the protection of the public from the darkness that has lived among us since the Mayflower landed at Plymouth rock. It is time that you become enlightened aware of the truth that our government is trying to hide. The occult, monsters of the night including vampires are real and every bit as cruel and ruthless as the legends have stated. They have even climbed to the top of our society to bend us to their will in secret. You have just seen the video of what these wretched creatures have committed against our people. Since ancient times they have gotten away with murder and bloodshed. But, their reign of terror ends now. Because the Order of the Dawn is here to stop it--to keep you safe. We just need your support. Together, we can take our country and the world back. This is only the beginning, there will be more to come so that you will know the truth once and for all. Goodbye for now, and may there be peace and order soon."
Isabel sat there paralyzed as the screen cut to black, immediately understanding what this all meant. The Order had come back stronger than before with a plan to eradicate all vampires, and Derek’s family including his own father and aunt were leading the charge. She wondered why she hadn’t run into any of them during the raid in Mydiea but quickly dismissed it since it didn’t matter. 
What did was that her past was threatening what she had now, the best thing that had ever happened to her. Her worst fears were coming true. 
Running over to the living room where the TV was, Isabel fumbled with the remote and switching through the news channels, they all showed the video with panicked headlines about vampires overtaking New York City. She felt herself become slightly nauseous with anxiety as the remote clattered to the ground. 
The one thing that had guaranteed their safety for decades had in fifteen minutes been ripped away. 
It seemed that everyone got the video at the same time and the news would make sure that those who didn’t saw its contents. She hastily turned off the TV and dashed into her bedroom to get ready. She had to be there immediately now that they suddenly had a dangerous crisis on their hands. Isabel threw on the first outfit that came to mind and headed into the bathroom. 
She brushed her teeth and ran a hairbrush through her thick mane just enough to get the tangles out before throwing it into a bun. It was just enough to be presentable. She didn’t even bother putting on any makeup, tossing the products into a small bag instead to take with her for if she needed it later. Right now, it only kept her from being where she wanted and needed to be. 
Taking one brief look in the mirror, she sighed. Her suit and blouse were still covered in wrinkles and her face and hair made her look as distressed as she felt. But, this would have to do for now. Slipping on her shoes, she grabbed her things and rushed out the door. A minute later she was in the elevator. 
While it made it’s way down, she sent a quick text to Adrian letting him know that she was on her way. As soon as it reached the lobby she dashed out and exited the building. 
She swallowed, her stomach tightening as she saw the crowds of people swarming the streets, panicked shouts and screams filling the air. Chaos and fear had already begun to set in and she felt painful anguish for the city she had become completely enamored with. It had already gone through so much when it was destroyed by Gaius while his humanity was still shut off. Now, it was having to go through yet another upheaval that threatened to be even worse.
Passing through Times Square, she stopped suddenly, her face frozen in sickening shock. 
The Order had hacked into every billboard, Adrian’s annihilation of their soldiers and Phoebe’s chilling message on full display on the large screens in an endless loop. Her already increased heartbeat now skyrocketed as anger and panic surged through her. She increased her pace to a full sprint, but was careful not to go inhumanely fast. 
Eventually, when she finally saw the silver skyscraper within view, she was hit with a swarm of reporters. Slowing down, she pursed her lips. Patience was never something she had much of, especially when she was in a hurry. 
“Ms. Martinez, did you know about this?” one of them asked her, sticking the microphone in her face. “Do you still have confidence in Mr. Raines?”
Isabel plastered on her best smile as she took a step back. “I have no comment at this time.”
She thanked God her parents made her take speech and debate as one of her many extracurriculars in high school. as she deftly evaded giving them a substantive answer. As she made an effort to step around the man, another recording device entered her personal space causing her annoyance to turn into full aggravation. 
She bit down on her tongue as unpleasant thoughts raced through her mind for a minute. 
“Is what was in the video true? Are you working for a vampire?”
Closing her eyes, she forced herself to take a deep breath. Now was not the time to let her fire out and make this worse. She would have to resort to tactics she only brought out for men who she couldn’t call out for being misogynistic in business meetings.
Turning to the gaggle of people with cameras behind her she told them in a commanding tone, “I cannot tell you anything or answer your questions right now but, I’m sure there will be an official statement sometime soon. For now, that is all I and the company will say on the matter.”
With that, she spun on her heels and weaved through the reporters and the public still trying desperately to get more out of her. But, she was able to outmaneuver them and make it into the building. 
But, there was little relief and she let out a small groan. It was every bit as frenzied inside as it was out. Only a handful of the couple hundred employees had known who Adrian truly was. The rest had found out twenty minutes earlier, just like the rest of the country. Unlike her abrupt introduction, there was no gradual process or a hand to guide their way through. Instead, they were thrown into the very deep end and that meant fear and bedlam. 
She ignored the bombardment of questions and exclamations from her co-workers as she made her way to the elevator. Digging into her purse, she found her key card and inserted it. The doors opened a few seconds later and she stepped inside the empty space. 
As she traveled up to the executive floor, Isabel’s scattered thoughts drifted to Adrian. He had to have gotten the video at the same time as everyone else did. She knew that he wouldn’t handle this well. He already hated himself for what happened ever since that night and since then he was working tirelessly to put that darkness away for good. He even helped her overcome her own in the opera house. 
This attack also put the company in jeopardy since investors and clients needed to trust him and now that was in danger of disappearing. He would take all the blame and self-punishment for the risk his employees faced. All of this meant that he was probably devastated and in need of her now more than ever.
Pulling out her phone, she became concerned when she saw that he hadn’t answered her text. Even in the most hectic times, he always made sure to respond. He was either not there or sitting in his self-destructive thoughts and both scenarios were equally troubling.  
Swallowing, the doors finally reopened onto the executive level and she hopped out, her long strides allowing her to quickly reach the closed door to his office. She pounded on the door harder than what was necessary.
“Adrian? It’s me.”
Hearing no response, she pressed her ear to the ornate wood and discovered that he was in there, the muffled sounds easily audible to her acute hearing. He just didn’t want to let her inside. 
It was one of the habits he had that frustrated her to no end. The times he needed people the most was when he stubbornly wanted to be by himself. But, she couldn’t let him drown in his sorrows alone and quickly decided to take matters into her own hands. 
Luckily, she had recently learned a new psychic power of hers. Concentrating on the metal knob she willed it to move. Ten seconds later, she heard the lock click. Sighing with relief, she pushed the door open and stepped inside. However, she didn’t get very far, abruptly stopping just a few feet from the door frame. 
Adrian sat at the giant desk, his head buried into his hands. This was the image of a man whose previous wrongdoings had all come back to haunt him at once. Hard. She had seen him at many low points since fate had brought them together. This though stood out among them as one of the worst. 
Leaving her purse by the doorway, she rushed to his side in mere seconds. Hearing her light footsteps, he brought his head up to look at her. Her heart broke when she noticed the pink staining his eys and the glistening wet tears that traversed down his cheeks. 
“Oh Adrian...” she murmured, engulfing him in a tight embrace. 
His strong arms locked onto her torso, clinging to her in despair. 
“This is my fault,” he lamented. “All of it. And now people are in danger, including everyone here. All because of me.”
“Hey.” She gently brought his face down to hers. “No, it’s not. You weren’t yourself then. And we all suspected that The Order would come back, maybe even stronger without Xenocrates.”
He shook his head adamantly. “No, it is my doing Isabel. If I...if I hadn’t lost control that day...they wouldn’t be able to use that...use me as a means of terror. And now our people all over the world are in danger. Everything we’ve worked towards...us trying to live in peace, creating a better world. It's all gone.”
The amount of pessimism in his words startled her. It didn’t take much for his idealism to wear thin these days, a permanent scar from what they went through to defeat all their enemies. But, she hadn’t seen it this low since that one conversation they had in The Order’s headquarters. She had proved him wrong then, and it looked like she would have to do the same now.
“That’s what they want us to think,” she reassured him. “But it definitely isn’t. We just have to find a way to win over the public again, be more convincing than they are.”
He blinked at her dubiously. “Fear is hard to overcome Isabel. Especially if it turns into hate, history has proven that. After everything we’ve done to each other, there may be no peace with vampires in it. Maybe...maybe we were doomed from the start, ever since the sap left that damned tree.”
His voice shook with emotion and her already knit brows moved closer together. She opened her mouth to speak but, before she could do so a familiar voice entered the space. 
“Adrian, are you in here?” Kamilah asked, her commanding tone filling the room as she stepped inside. 
Her appearance was unusually unkempt and her eyes were enlarged, shooting around the room before they fixed on the two of them and a hint of recognition and greeting flashed. Upon seeing her, Isabel felt the need to be a little more professional and untangled herself from Adrian’s arms. She quickly found a chair to sit in beside him instead. 
“I’m assuming you’ve seen everything?” she asked. 
She received a weary nod. “Unfortunately. I can’t believe they managed to get it on those billboards.”
Adrian’s eyes widened in horror. Apparently, he hadn’t realized that. “What?”
Isabel bit her lip before confirming it. “They’ve got the video playing on a loop, every single one in Times Square. I saw it on my way here.”
“That’s not all,” Kamilah said. “They’ve also just released a list with the names of every branded vampire in the country. Including everyone on The Council and our clans.”
After Rheya’s defeat, a new version of the Council was created with three new leaders and some changes to make it more democratic and egalitarian. Every vampire in the city received their protection now. 
A new surge of anger coursed through Isabel as their situation went from bad to worse. “They really wanted to make sure everyone knew.” Then, a pang of guilt welled up in her as she thought back to the last few meetings. “I’m sorry I’ve been pushing so hard for you to come out in the open. If I had known that these would be the consequences...I wouldn’t have even suggested it. This should’ve never happened.”
“No, it shouldn’t have. But, don’t be sorry, you were right Isabel. I knew we couldn’t stay a secret forever, it was a matter of when not if. I didn’t think we’d be outed like this before we could do so ourselves. But what’s done is done. We can’t debrief 300 million people even if it were possible, it wouldn’t be right. All we can do now is figure out how to stop the Order and adjust to living out in the open.”
Adrian reiterated his sentiment from before Kamilah arrived. “Is that even possible? You’ve seen what they can do, especially now that they’re all mortals and the American public can be quick to hate with not a lot of rhetoric. They’re only going to get stronger and their arguments are right. We’ve done so much harm, Kamilah, it might be too late to change that now.”
His oldest friend quickly sported an incredulous expression which matched Isabel’s inner feelings. 
“Do you even hear yourself? Of course, we still can, we can at least try. And we have to try. If not for our people, then for them. Humanity. Because we all know that the Order won’t hesitate to kill as many mortals as it takes for our destruction. You and Isabel are the ones who taught me that Adrian, that they’re worth fighting for. Our job should be to save them not hurt them.”
There was a pause as the weight of Kamilah’s words continued to flow through the room. 
Then, Isabel nodded, standing up as tense energy flowed through her. “I agree. It’ll be extremely difficult, but it’s not impossible. Nothing is. We just have to figure out how to play their game and then beat them at it. Turn the public against them. All we have to do is tell the truth, expose who they really are.”
At this, Adrian’s expression only became more troubled. “I don’t know. There’s no way anyone will have confidence in me after this. The whole country thinks I’m nothing but a monster.”
“I don’t,” she countered immediately. “Adrian, I was in the room when that happened, mere feet from you. I’m still here, believing in you. I know I won’t be the only one. People are more understanding than we give them credit for. They just need to feel like that’s okay.”
“But I--”
She couldn’t take it anymore, her brown eyes becoming ablaze. 
“Adrian Henry Raines, listen to me!” she yelled, the bluntness of it shocking him into silence. “If you don’t want to let people down, if you don’t want them to think that you’re a monster, then prove to them that you’re not. We can make a better world by being the ones to end the cycle that Rheya created. None of you have to be like her, or like Gaius or Xenocrates. They’re all dead. Take it from me, the person who came the closest to becoming her.”
Taking a deep breath, the fiery heat extinguished almost as fast as it started to burn. 
With a softer tone, she continued. “I know that the majority of people can still be reached if we put in the effort. Remember that one recruit we spared in the tomb? If he could be persuaded so can they, I promise you. But, the longer we sit here and do nothing, the closer The Order gets to winning them over.”
Her demeanor softened as addressed what he had told her before Kamilah arrived. “Because you forgot about hope, Adrian. The one thing that is stronger than fear. We still have it, but we won’t for long. Unless we do something, stand up for what is right.”
Both her and Kamilah’s gazes fell on him expectantly. After a minute, resolve slowly hardened on his face as their words sunk in. 
“Okay,” he told them with a nod. “Let’s fight, for them. Even if we don’t make it out ourselves.”
Isabel sighed with relief before it vanished as the gravity of their situation weighed them down once more. A sense of urgency began to flow through her once more.
Looking at the two of them, she asked, “What should our first moves be?”
Her mind began to conjure up possible remedies and tactics but, her insecurities about her work made her want to hear their opinions first.
“Well, for starters we’re definitely going to have to call an emergency Council meeting,” Kamilah told them. Then, a grimace appeared on her face. “We’ll have to talk to our own Clans too. If we are to stand a decent chance against the Order, they’ll not only have to be on the same page, but fight with us too when the time comes.”
Isabel traded an uneasy look with Adrian, both sharing her apprehension about this task. The new Clan system had tried them since it’s recreation. While the leaders were all friendly with one another having been hand-picked, the members within each continued to struggle with getting along. This new crisis would only make that worse.
Adrian expressed this sentiment out loud muttering, “I don’t like asking them to risk their lives for us, and it’ll take a lot of convincing for them to do so.”
“I know,” Kamilah sighed. “Arguing against their self-preservation has never been easy, even when there is this noble of a cause. However, it must be done. They have to join us or they’ll be in danger.”
Isabel followed along with this conversation etching the important details permanently into her memory. Until suddenly she became more than just a spectator. 
“As for managing things with the public, what do you suggest Isabel?” Adrian asked her. 
She looked at him with a start as it took a moment for it to register that they wanted her opinion, that this was her job now. When it did, she sat up straight as her mind worked on overdrive. 
“Well, reassuring all our employees is the most important thing,” she eventually replied. “I think a company-wide meeting is one of the first things we should do. I also recommend addressing the public with some kind of statement soon before The Order can release any more propaganda. The press nearly trampled me as I was on my here. They’re anxious for answers.” Then, she came up with an ambitious idea. “In fact, I recommend that we do a full press conference.”
He carefully considered her advice. “Hmm...why’s that?”
Even though she knew that he simply wanted to hear her reasoning it still unnerved her. Luckily she already had her answer. 
“Because they need to hear our side of the story unedited while their minds are still pliable. The best way to do that is to have the reporters come to us. If we do that, we control the narrative and there’s less chance of our words being misconstrued. Plus, we need to reach a large, countrywide audience and this will likely be broadcasted by both the local and national outlets.”
Kamilah nodded approvingly. “It’s bold Adrian, but that’s exactly what we need to be right now. I would have this be first and then your company meeting.”
“How come?” he questioned. 
“It will calm some of their fears and make them more comfortable being in the same room as you.”
A ghost of a smile touched his lips before it flattened. “That’s what we’ll do then.” His eyes flicked back to Isabel. “But, you should be the one giving it,” he told her. 
Her eyebrows rose off her forehead. “Me? But, wouldn’t they want to hear it directly from you?”
“Yes, and they will eventually. But, right now they’re scared and less likely to listen to what I have to say, to believe it. They need to be reassured first. You’re the perfect person to do that.”
It didn’t take long for her to catch on. “Because I wasn’t turned that long ago.”
“Exactly. You’re the person who can bridge the gap between us. If they see you, having confidence in me, that will go a long way.”
It made perfect sense to her immediately. Plus, PR was the department she was in charge of directly. “Okay. But before I do, I need a moment to freshen up.” She pointed to her haphazard appearance. “Right now this...does not inspire confidence.”
The comment caused Adrian's lips to twitch up in amusement. "Go ahead, you've got a key to upstairs. I'll call the other council members in the meantime."
"And I'd better check on things at Ahmenet," Kamilah said. "If I'm not back sooner, I'll be here for the meeting. Good luck Isabel."
“Thanks.”
With a final nod, the senior vampire slipped out of the office, Isabel following suit a minute afterward. 
A little less than thirty minutes later, she stood in the lobby of Raines' Corps, trying not to be blinded by the flashes of cameras in her face. Outside, she herself had installed a TV monitor showing a live video where a large crowd had gathered to hear the words. It was also being broadcast on every local and national news channel. A million butterflies fluttered aggressively in her stomach as she went over what she wanted to say in her head. 
Sighing, she flashed a composed smile, looking back at Adrian. He stood a few feet behind her and despite his stoic expression, she could see the anxiety behind it. Meeting her gaze, he gave her a reassuring look. Even though it wasn’t completely authentic it instantly melted her nerves away enough for her to look forward once more, ready to begin. 
Clearing her throat, she stated, "Hello everyone. I'm Isabel Martinez the new Vice President of Operations for Raines' Corps. I'm here to make a brief statement on behalf of the company and Mr. Raines himself about the Order of Dawn video and then I will open things up for some questions from you. Anything that we can answer we will, we want to be as transparent with you as possible regarding what has surfaced today. That includes confirming that the video of the nightclub is real and so is the existence of vampires. This also means that it's true Mr. Raines is one of them." Closing her eyes, she felt her fang descend before she opened them again. “And so am I.”
A cacophony of gasps and shocked whispers erupted from the reporters and she could see a similar reaction from the crowd outside through the special protective windows. It took a few minutes for her to get them under control again enough to speak.
"I know that a lot of you are shocked and frightened right now. I was too when I first discovered the truth, in a similar fashion to you more than a year ago. But, as someone who has worked closely with and befriended many Vampires since then, and then become one of them, I can assure you that there is more to us than what the Order of Dawn wants you to believe. It is true that over the course of history, our kind, including Mr. Raines have done some unspeakable things to humans. But, it's because of how we were taught to behave by the first generations of vampires. Since ancient times, they espoused that humans were the enemy and that there could never be peaceful relations between us. And for a long time, it went unquestioned. Yet, for the past century, this ideology has begun to change. We have begun to realize that there is a way for both worlds to live and thrive without hurting the other. Mr. Raines was one of the first to commit to this idea and since then the amount of vampires who want to cause harm has decreased significantly. And to be honest humans don't really have a right to judge, when they’ve been an equal participant in this bloody conflict since the beginning.”
She paused, her eyes briefly flicking down to the microphone in front of her. As she thought about the Order and what they'd done across the centuries, her blood began to boil with a simmering rage. 
“The truth is The Order of Dawn is no innocent victim. They may have started out with a desire to end the violence but for centuries they’ve become just as bad as vampires. I was there that night, you can see me in the video. So believe me when I tell you this: The Order is the one who started this by attacking the nightclub. They slaughtered both vampires and humans alike. They were just collateral damage to them. Adrian and the other vampires were defending themselves and the humans that were in there, including myself at that time.”
Looking back at him, she collected herself before saying, “Now, that doesn’t excuse his actions, the fact that he went overboard. He knows this and ever since that night, he’s hated himself for it. That person in the video is only a tiny part of who he is. He is still the caring man who is trying to help humanity all around the world. The person who’s helped our city recover from the attack a year ago. He wants you to be safe. A lot of them do. In fact, the very reason why this was kept from you was for your protection.”
She took a sip of water before getting to the crux of her impromptu speech. Her hands curled around the sides of the podium, leaning in towards the crowd.
"Because this is what it all boils down to,” she stated. “Both sides have been fueled by fear and self-preservation for millennia and in response, have hurt each other. It can't go on this way. Which is why we're going to do everything in our power to find a better solution, one where we can live together in peace. And that starts with getting rid of the Order because until they're gone, there will be more violence. We're not expecting you to adjust to this revelation overnight, we know that this news will take time. But, we're hoping that while you do that this doesn't discourage you from your normal routines and we'll do everything we can to help you with that. We've just brought this city back to life after the events of last year and we want to guarantee that it remains safe and thriving for years to come. That will only happen if our two kinds can learn from one another and realize that we are so much better together than we ever were apart." 
As she said the last sentence she realized that everyone was completely silent, their attention squarely on them. They had listened. This meant her damage control strategy working, something that surprised her more than it should have. She also realized that because they weren't so afraid, now they would be receptive to Adrian as well. In fact, they probably needed to hear from him. He could explain the details of his world to them better than she could.  This caused a daring idea to suddenly fly into her head, one that he would certainly balk at. But, her intuition told her that this risk was worth taking. 
And so without his permission, she went with it. 
"Now, I will let Mr. Raines answer some of your questions about vampires.” She could imagine what his expression looked like, and she felt herself begin to sweat. “Like I said at the beginning, we're not going to disclose everything today but, hopefully, we can provide you with enough information to reassure you we are nothing to be afraid of."
She stepped to the side and finally looked back at him behind her. He stared at her with widened eyes, his complexion now a few shades paler than normal. 
"Look, I know I put you on the spot, but they need to hear from you. I know you can do this," she whispered reassuringly. "All you have to do is answer their questions in the same way you did for me."
After a brief hesitation, he gave her a nod and approached the podium, toying with the microphone. "Who wants to go first?"
A young man in the front raised his hand. "How long have vampires existed?" 
Adrian gave him a startled look before it faded into a smile. He obviously didn't expect them to be so benign. "Good question. My kind has been around since the 8th century BCE. Here in America, since the 1700s. Next?"
"How old are you?" A petite blonde asked next before her pale skin reddened. "Oh, was that rude? I'm sorry, I'm just curious!"
At this he had to bite back a laugh, the corners of his eyes creasing. "You're not being rude, that's the first question a lot of people ask. I'm 265."
The reporter's eyes widened. "Woah, that's...pretty old."
"To you yes. But for us vampires, I'm still pretty young. I know some who are thousands of years old."
“Seriously? Wow, that’s...amazing.”
Again, this comment took him aback, and he had to pause for a moment before his smile returned. “You know what? It is, I’ll be sure to pass that onto my friends. Thanks for the question.”
Soon, he had settled into a rhythm and visibly he started to relax.  
"Is it true that the sunlight harms them?"
He nodded. "Yes. However, there were a couple of really old vampires who could walk in the sun without repercussions, but they've all been killed over the years."
"Do you actually drink human blood?" 
"Yes, we'll die without it. But, we don't have to kill to get it. The amount that's necessary at one time is small enough that it can easily get replenished naturally. About the same as a small blood donation. In fact, here in New York, we have rules about this."
"What are they?" 
"Well, one is that we can't feed on anyone who doesn't give us permission. And you'd be surprised how many people let us. There have been some vampires who have broken these rules but, we've been able to discipline them."
An older man raised his hand next. "Does the government know about vampires?"
Isabel's breath caught. Tapping Adrian on the should he met her gaze. "You don't have to answer this one if you can't."
"I'm sure no one will mind if I do," he told her before looking at the crowd once more. "Yes," he announced. "In fact, several decades ago I and five other high profile vampires made a deal. Protection in exchange for secrecy. That's why most people haven't been informed until now. It was for the safety of everyone."
Then, the first reporter asked another question. “Gaius Augustine...the person responsible for the attack last year. Was he...one of you? A vampire?”
Adrian exchanged another look with Isabel. “What do you think? he whispered away from the mic. 
She swallowed, then told him, “Tell them the truth. They...deserve to know.”
He nodded and turned back to the crowd. “Yes, he was. At first, he...wasn’t so cruel. But, he was influenced to develop a personal hatred for humans, partially from what the Order has done. While most of us are nothing like him, he tried to manipulate his progeny, myself included, into believing the same for centuries. What you saw in the video was leftover from that. But, I don’t believe that and I’ve been working hard to move past what remains of his teachings. Even Gaius, before he was killed a couple months ago in opera house incident.”
The man’s eyes widened. “Does that mean Rheya Apostolus was one too?”
“Yes. She was the first vampire, turned by the sap of a special tree thousands of years ago.”
This seemed to satisfy him. Adrian answered several more questions as the topics shifted from fearful ones to curiosity about what was fact and what was fiction. In fact, they were similar to what Isabel wanted to know when she was first catapulted into all of this. They were slowly becoming fascinated instead of frightened. 
Eventually, she decided it was time to end the press conference while they were on a high note before the atmosphere could turn negative once more.  She could only imagine what The Order had up their sleeve next. 
Taking the helm once more she issued a closing statement. "Thank you so much for coming out and letting us tell our side of the story. I'm sure that as the days and weeks go by that we'll be able to provide more information and reassurance. We wish you didn't have to find out this way, but now that the information is out there, we hope that we can continue our mission of making a better world for everyone."
Stepping away from the podium, she stood with Adrian for a moment so that the press could get their photos before ushering them back outside. 
As soon as the last of the press left the lobby, Isabel let out an audible sigh of relief. "That went better than I thought it would."
When she met Adrian's intense stare, she found it tinged with adoration. "I know. How you captured their attention, how you pacified them...it was incredible."
She felt her face become scalding hot at the comment.
Biting her lip, she responded, "It wasn't that special. I just...told them the truth, that we're nothing to be afraid of. And my delivery was definitely not perfect, I counted at least ten mistakes." She fretted frustratingly, her nerves ticking back up again. She could never go without her constant self-critique for too long. "But, still...somehow it reached them anyway."
He responded with an incredulous scoff, his gaze softening at her while it filled with even more warmth than before. 
"Iz, I know you can't help it, but please don't sell yourself short," he expressed tenderly. 
He knew almost as well as she did where the self-doubt stemmed from and tried not to take any of her insecurities about herself or their relationship to heart which she was grateful for.
Taking her hand in his, he continued. "I've seen no one in the nearly three hundred years of being alive who can inspire people the same way you can. Winston Churchill would be envious of you."
At this, her eyebrows rose at his praise, especially with his mention of one of history's greatest orators. "You think I'm really that good?
"I know so. Isabel, I almost gave up today...I came so...so close. More than...I ever have," he stressed, taking her hand in his. "Just like every time before, you're the reason why I didn't. Every time I've come close to the edge, you're the one who's brought me back. Because you're right, hope is stronger than fear...and your words and you're ability to bring people together is why mine is still burning. And now, you've given millions of people that gift too."
She stood there speechless for a few minutes, his remarks stunning her, despite all the times he'd made similar statements before. 
When she regained the ability to think, all she could do was close the gap between them and press her lips to his. The kiss didn't have the feverish intensity they usually did, but it still left them both breathless. It was the kind that spoke of sweetness and security, a warm blanket that made Isabel feel like no matter what chaos they would go through, everything would turn out alright in the end. 
"Mmm," she murmured, reluctantly pulling back and bringing them back into the real world. "Thank you, I needed that."
He gave her a fake pout. "I'm sensing a but here."
Their biggest enemy filled her head once more, and another tense exhale escaped. 
"You're correct. The Order isn't going to destroy itself and we have a lot to do today, we can't celebrate this first accomplishment too much longer. Especially since we've only just begun to win them over. They're still terrified Adrian, I felt it on them even as they left. It's going to take weeks if not a few months for it to go away completely, and I'm sure whatever the Order does next will extend that timeline even longer."
"I really hate that you're right," he replied. 
Her smile returned briefly. "I know, so do I. I love you."
"I love you too."
Neither one of them made a move to let go, savoring this last minute or two of tranquility that they would have for a while. Then, Isabel's phone rang and she was forced to untangle herself from him to answer it. 
Fumbling with the expensive new device, she didn't even look at the Caller ID before answering. 
"Hello?"
"Isabel, thank god you're not busy," a male voice she knew well said. 
This caused her to gasp. "Cal, hi.”
The name made Adrian's brows rise with curiosity. It wasn't weird for him to call them since they had all befriended him a year earlier. He had done so countless times afterward. In fact, he even paid them a visit only a couple of months ago. However, the timing of this one gave them both pause. This had to be more than just to say hi. 
Swallowing she asked, "You sound tense, is something wrong?" 
She vaguely heard the sounds of a bar in the background. A very noisy one. 
"I...uh...yes," he replied. "We got the video of you guys here in New Orleans.”
She let out a groan. “I figured as much. How are they handling it down there?”
“Not great. They released a bunch of names of the families of vamps here. Everyone is freaking out, both supernatural and not. Which means things could turn ugly at any moment and my three Nighthunter friends are the only ones who are equipped to police it all."
Isabel's high spirits took a nosedive. It was worse there than it was in New York. Way worse. Looking around, she realized they couldn’t discuss things in the open like this. Not before they had a chance to address everyone. 
"Okay, stay on the line while I find somewhere more private and then I’ll put you on speaker," she told him.  
“Roger that.”
She took off towards the elevators, urging a now concerned Adrian to follow. The closest place she could think of was her new office which was located halfway up the building. Frantically getting inside she smashed the button to close the doors until they shut. 
"What did he--?" 
She turned to him with and briefly summed up with Cal told her
The implications hit him immediately and his face hardened. "They don't have the rules against killing humans like we do. If they can't get it under control...no one will be on our side.”
"I know. Which is why we can't have any of the employees eavesdropping on us. I guarantee they won't want to be employees anymore if they do."
After what felt like an eternity, the elevator finally stopped on the thirtieth floor and they quickly walked to her office. Stepping in, she locked the door behind them and finally put the phone on speaker. 
“Hey Cal, are you still there?”
“Yep.”
Then, they heard several voices in the background. But, there was less overall noise so, it was clear he had relocated as well. 
“Who’s there with you?” Adrian asked after saying hello. 
There was a brief pause. “Oh! Um, these are two of my Nighthunter friends. You know, the ones I’ve told you about. I told them that I knew you and they...want to talk to you. Since you are the people this cult has used to start all of this.”
“What do you need us to do? I’m assuming if your friends are hunters they don’t really trust us.”
“Correct,” a husky baritone remarked before telling them, “You better have some answers for us before this city turns into a freaking bloodbath!”
He was hushed by a bell-like voice. “Nik! We need their help and insulting them won’t help. Sorry about that, he doesn’t think of you New York vampires very highly. I, on the other hand, am reserving judgement for now.”
Isabel had stopped paying attention after the first few words, her mouth open in frozen shock. As soon as she heard the girl's voice, it triggered a wave of bittersweet memories all at once. She hadn't expected to hear it again for a long time, maybe ever.
Seeing her demeanor change, Adrian's brows furrowed. "What is it?"
"Z-zelenia? Is...that you?" she finally whispered, feeling numb from all the emotions suddenly coursing through her. 
She heard a sigh on the other end. "Hey Isabel. Things have certainly changed since I last saw you.”
The exchange left Adrian speechless and there was silence on the other end as well. 
"Wait, what? You two...already know each other?" Cal exclaimed. 
Isabel nodded even though Adrian was the only one who could see it. 
Meanwhile, she heard Zelenia exhale. 
"Yeah...it's...a long story," she said. 
She was right about that. Isabel had so many lingering questions about the way things ended between them, ones she couldn’t ask out loud. But, one thing was clear to her. While most of Derek’s family seemed to be involved with the Order’s new reign of terror, she felt certain that Zelenia wasn’t one of them. That she had finally rid herself of them.
Her intuition began to tug at her once more and she sensed that this was only just the beginning. That they would have to bring their two circles together and unite the vampire communities to defeat the Order and in the process, she would also get those answers she’s craved for so long. 
She thought she would be angry talking to her again and while she did feel hurt she also felt relief as well. Maybe even a twinge of happiness. It was her family that was the problem, not her. 
After a minute, she replied, “One that’s...apparently not finished yet.”
~*~
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07/27/2021 DAB Transcript
2 Chronicles 19:1-20:37, Romans 10:14-11:12, Psalms 21:1-13, Proverbs 20:4-6
Today is the 27th day of July welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I’m Brian it is wonderful to be here with you today around the Global Campfire as we find our peace, our oasis, our center. We center ourselves in the Scriptures, and…and we do it together, We don’t have to be alone in a solitary endeavor. We’re in community as we take the next step. And, so, let's do that. We’re reading from the New English Translation this week. Today, second Chronicles chapters 19 and 20.
Commentary:
Okay. In our reading from Second Chronicles today we have this story from the reign of King Jehoshaphat that is really a complete and very very hopeful story in an incredible…an incredibly terrifying and intimidating time. So, Israel is about to be attacked by a vast horde of three different armies who are crossing the Dead Sea and…and then preparing to come up to Jerusalem. And this is not anticipated. That’s the thing. Like this happens suddenly and there are those times in our lives, right, when the sudden and unexpected happens and we realize that we are in a vulnerable position, and we have to decide what to do. And this is the whole nation of Israel deciding this…they…they're facing the this, their scouts have indeed reported that a vast horde of people are crossing the Dead Sea to attack Jerusalem. So, if you think about it like what are the options? Maybe to immediately go and…and expend every single bit of energy and resource possible to immediately try to build up some kind of reinforcement or some kind of fortification. But again this isn’t planned. Like, this is haste. This is…would be reacting, but if it's a vast horde what are you going to do? They don't have a lot of options. Or maybe send negotiators down to the Army to see what they want, you know, see if there could be terms of peace, like to settle the situation or, I guess…I don't know. Vast army is coming against you, maybe you just want to go in the other direction as fast as you can and just get as far away from the conflict as possible. That might be a little easier for individuals or small groups of people than to have a whole nation run away from an enemy, an enemy that seems to be, you know, amassing an attack on the capital city of Jerusalem. But as the story goes, and I just…I’m quoting here from second Chronicles. “Jehoshaphat was afraid so he decided to seek the Lord's advice. He decreed that all Judah should observe a fast.” So, he didn't go negotiate. They didn't run away. He didn’t try a higher a militia or some other army, but he was afraid. And we can probably relate, right? The unexpected comes, we see vulnerability and we’re afraid. And it's what happens next, though that becomes the important thing because what happens next in this story is very different than maybe some of…some of the things that we do when we face these situations. We may run away, try to negotiate, build up reinforcements, do whatever we gotta do. But in this case, he was afraid, and he turned to God. And he…he goes before the Lord, and he prays, like God we can't deal with…we don't…we’re not prepared for this. They’re…they're going to overtake us. You are our only hope. And when this temple was built we said that if we were invaded or things were happening we could come here and we can call upon your name and so that's what we’re doing. We’re calling upon your name because they're coming to attack us. And I quote from Jehoshaphat's prayer. “Our God will you not judge them for we are powerless against this huge army that attacks us. We don't know what we should do. We look to you for help.” So, that is a posture that is not in their own strength. That is a posture saying we are utterly dependent upon you, Lord. As the story goes, they stay before the Lord, worship the Lord and prophetic voice is spoken and…and the people are to go out, they are to go out and face the enemy, but what they will be ultimately are spectators, not participants in the battle. They…they…they go out and observe. The three armies have destroyed each other. So, when we find ourselves facing the unknown and we’re afraid and the facts aren't looking good, we can move in any number of directions. We have a will. We can chart our own course in our own strength but if we will remember this story it is a hopeful one in these seasons. It is hopeful and helpful to be reminded of our utter dependence upon God and to remember that He is a lot stronger than we are. He is a lot stronger than what might be coming against us, and He knows all a lot more about what's actually going on than we do. And, so, as we watch Jehoshaphat in the people of Israel in this case, we see that there are any number of things that they could've done, but what they did was to humble themselves before the Lord and it was the Lord who delivered them.
Prayer:
Father, we thank You for Your word and we thank You for stories like this one that…that bring encouragement and a great amount of hope, but also a tremendous amount of reminder. It is not in our own strength that we will achieve anything. It is by Your grace and Your sustenance and Your protection alone. And, so, we humble ourselves before You in all of the things that we may be facing. You are our only hope and this is the only hope we need. Come Holy Spirit we pray. In the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.
Announcements:
dailyaudiobible.com, that is home base, that is where you find out what is going on around here. And like I say often, the app, the Daily Audio Bible app is also a way to access all these things.
So, whether on the app or on the web you'll find the Community section and that is important to know about because that is where the Prayer Wall lives. And the Prayer Wall, of course, is a place always to go and pray. And whether that be asking for prayer or whether that be offering prayer, it is always on, always available, day or night. And also in the Community section are the links to get connected on the different social media channels that we participate in. So, that's good to know about as well. So, certainly check that out.
If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, if the mission to continue to do what we’re doing, which is showing up every day around this Global Campfire and taking the next step forward together, if that has been life-giving to you then thank you for your partnership. We wouldn't be doing any of this if we didn't do it together. And, so, there is a link on the homepage at the website or if you're using the app you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.
And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the Hotline button, the little red button in the app or you can dial 877-942-4253.
And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.
Community Prayer and Praise:
Hi Daily Audio Bible family this is My Joy is full from London and I just finished listening to the July 24th podcast and I just wanted to say, there’s a lady at the end and I can't remember her name but she told us her testimony about how she's ashamed because of the divorcing her husband and her divorcing her ex-husband and now…and she came to the DAB because of her new husband and etc., etc. But…and you asked, like how do you tell that, how do you…you feel like you’re __ your testimony, how do you tell that? And exactly how you just told us is how you tell it, I think. Yeah, tell people that you were hesitant but it's just…that changed your life. Exactly what you said. So, that say to whoever like the Spirit leads. But, yeah, I wanted to say like the way you said it was perfect.
Hi DAB family this is Jessica from California. I'm calling in today to ask for some prayer. Last year sometime I called in and asked everyone to pray for my uncle who was in a…he got ran over by a car and he made it through that and now he's in a rehabilitation center. He's not the same as he used to be. He’s sort of like a child, but he does know some things. But he's having a hard time connecting the dots. And today was the first time I was able to go take him on an outing. I've been…been visiting…visiting him for…every two weeks for the past few months since they started letting us because before that I couldn't even see them because of COVID. And, so, I really thought it was going to be a great day and I was so excited about it but once I got him out, he got really overwhelmed and anxiety and he felt scared and kind of weird. And, you know, going from being a normal human being to being handicapped I'm sure not an easy thing to accept or understand, especially for him to understand why. And I just would like to ask you brothers and sisters if you could just help me pray for my uncle to have the peace that surpasses all understanding because he just…he tells me that he worries and…and he doesn't know what he's going to do and he doesn't know what he's supposed to do. And I tell him not to worry, that we're trying to figure that out but it's just a lot for him. So, I just appreciate if you guys could help me pray for that. And I…and I love you guys and hope everything is well. Bye. Thank you.
I'm basking in the spirit but I'm still laying in bed the sun hasn't come up yet and I'm glad that I'm not dead it's quiet and it's dark and it seems like the world's asleep but I can feel you all around me God and inside too real deep it feels like I'm glowing but I know that can't be true pre-dawn is my favorite time to come in prayer to you there aren't any real distractions no voices cars or lights no human interference no arguments or fights only me reflecting thoughts that spring from deep within thoughts now filled with gratitude that used to be a sin I come to you for power I come to you for grace I come to you my father because there really is no other place I lift you up for what you've done you've done so much for me I praise you God for who you are and how you've set me free it seems like I can't get enough of praising you every day the closer that I get to you the more I love to pray thank you God for lifting me for loving me for setting free thank you God that my eyes can see a concept like eternity the sun's up now and I'm still in prayer I still can feel you everywhere inside outside all around even deep below the ground you are truly awesome
[email protected]. I'd like to give a shout out to Margaret Aronetta. I hope that things are well and that your new podcast 180 got off the ground successfully. Know that you're in my thoughts and prayers daily. And once again Brian and the Hardin family thank you for this wonderful podcast for God's Holy Spirit to flow. Keep it flowin’ Y’all. Alright. Bye-bye.
Hi Diane from Denver, I heard you speaking this morning about the grief that you're experiencing at your daughter's death and I…it took my breath away. And I just thank you for reaching out. I…I hear that you are trying to be strong and…and you don't have to be. You've lost your daughter and that's sad and you're doing the right thing in reaching out. Just feel those feelings. Give them to the Lord. Sit with the Lord and feel your feelings and remember your memories and as time passes He will walk you through this path of grief that leads to a new way of living, a way of living that does not include your daughter. And how painful that's going to be. I pray that you are able to reach out and feel Him, feel the presence of Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and our Father as they hold you as you learn to walk this new life and that you'll eventually be able to find new waves of joy, deeper relationship with the Holy Spirit and our God. I just pray you comfort sister. Amen.
Good morning DAB family I am calling in a prayer for the woman that called about her daughter that passed away. I believe she said it's not been that long. She had post on the wall for a transplant…plant for her daughter and was denied. Today is Sunday the 25th. Father God in the name of Jesus I ask that You will comfort the Young lady that lost her daughter that passed away not too long ago God. Give her peace above all understanding God. Comfort her in her time of bereaving God. Lord You know we need You right now in these times where we don't know where to turn, which way to turn God. We toss and turn in our sleep God. But Lord You said that You would never leave us nor forsake us God. So, God let her know that You are with her. Comfort her in her sleep God. Talk to her in her dreams. Let her know that her daughter is at peace and her daughter is with her Father God. Give her family peace. Give her family comfort God. Lord in the name of Jesus I pray for those that need comfort right now, those that are bereaving for lost ones God. Not only her lost ones but those that lost loved ones for whatever reason God. I pray on this line Lord that she would give us peace above all understanding in Jesus’ name God. Comfort those that call in that are sick that are wounded. that are broken hearted. those that are suffering right now. You comfort those. Give them peace above all understanding in Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.
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terumiafuro · 6 years
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cold is the night without you here, 2398 words
But there’s a strange air of finality to the nothing surrounding him. Something is ending as he feels the nothing overtake him, though he isn't certain what that something is. The memories slow down as he relaxes, as the nothing melts in around the edges of the final scenes. He sees the Friman Woods (and for some reason, the thought “for one last time” follows the image), and he sees the KC. They look so tired, and as the scene moves forward, they look scared. And then the last memory is gone, and Bell closes his eyes and leans into the unknown.
Bell was not expecting things to go badly so suddenly, so quickly. He was expecting to arrive in Arcomb this afternoon, have a moment to rest and try to understand the situation the KC have found themselves in, to think through it all and come up with a reasonable plan. And he would never have expected things to go this badly here, in the Friman woods. So often have the KC passed through these woods that they even feel familiar to him, the member of their party least at home among nature. And that familiarity has brought with it a sense of safety, a sense that was clearly deceptive. Because now things have gone badly, worse than he could have imagined,  and Bell doesn’t know what to do.
There’s no rationale, no logic, as he stands frozen in place, eyes wide as he looks at the massive dragon in front of them. The earth itself seems to shift beneath his feet as the beast swings its head towards them, looks directly at the few who are still standing by the edge of the clearing and seems to inhale, spewing foam from its mouth as it draws in air. Bell wants to reach up and grab his holy symbol for comfort, anything to steady him and fight the raw fear threatening to overcome him, but his hand never makes it to his chest. The dragon exhales, and as Bell stares up at it, he feels a brief moment of cold, overwhelming cold like he’s never felt before.
And then,
Nothing.
It is nothing surrounding him, but there is a lot of nothing, void of a magnitude he cannot comprehend. The expanse of emptiness would almost be awe-inspiring if awe was an emotion he was capable of feeling right now. It’s not. He doesn’t feel much - he can feel the absence of cold; vaguely he remembers that he was cold before the nothing. And the nothing is all there is here - there’s no warmth, no cold, no light or really even any dark, if only because the concept of “darkness” doesn’t seem to exist here.
He knows things, he remembers who he is - Bell Laur, to most people. Belmont Célestin Laur Du Fois to others. He remembers how he got here, but doesn’t know where “here” is. Most of his memories are there, but he can’t quite get a grip on them - he feels as though trying to recall them is more like watching a scene fly by, passing through his mind faster than you have time to call to mind the emotions associated with the images. There doesn’t seem to be a mechanism for holding onto them for more than the briefest moment, and he views them with the detached neutrality of a stranger.
And it’s… it’s nice. Bell sees himself, younger, fighting back anger at being told how much he looks like his father, how he’s the spitting image of Gerard. But he doesn’t feel the anger. He sees himself in the library the night he left Stratham, but the sad inevitability of climbing out of that window doesn’t quite reach him. Bell sees the first weeks he spent on the road, the experience of being flung head first into a world you have no knowledge of, but there’s none of the crushing loneliness that he remembers accompanied that journey. He sees Cik fall in battle, hand floating in the swampy water next to the dragonborn’s unconscious body. Other memories remind him that he blamed himself for the injury, but no guilt washes over him. More scenes flash before him - The Temple of Mephistopheles, the Underdark, South Warren, Starcrest Keep. Stratham.
The Deadlands.
Bell sees the ash, the dark sky and the castle in the distance. He knows that he should be afraid right now, he knows what’s coming and remembers the acute fear just thinking about this place brings to him. He remembers just days ago dreaming of this place and waking up retching; he remembers that thinking just of the ash made bile rise to the back of his throat. But no panic comes, no fear. He watches the KC walk through the ash, sees them cross the bridge and go inside.
He sees Symon, and blessedly feels nothing. No fear, no guilt, no rage, and no shame.
The memories continue to float by, images and sounds without depth or feeling. It’s so nice, so simple. He cannot remember the last time he felt this calm, the last time he was so free of worries. Maybe I never have been, he thinks, and eases into into the feeling. Leaning into it is remarkably easy; it’s the easiest thing Bell has done in his entire life.
But there’s a strange air of finality to the nothing surrounding him. Something is ending as he feels the nothing overtake him, though he isn't certain what that something is. The memories slow down as he relaxes, as the nothing melts in around the edges of the final scenes. He sees the Friman Woods (and for some reason, the thought “for one last time” follows the image), and he sees the KC. They look so tired, and as the scene moves forward, they look scared. And then the last memory is gone, and Bell closes his eyes and leans into the unknown.
After some time - Bell isn’t sure how long, time as he knows it doesn’t exist here - something cuts through the absence that he’s begun to get used to. It’s a raw feeling more than a specific memory or an idea. It’s the first thing he’s really felt here besides detached bewilderment, and what a strange feeling it is. It’s the cool comfort of his best friend’s words, the large presence of Cik standing beside him - and the gentle sunlight of Pelor shining on his face. But combined, somehow - and that’s the strange part. He knows Cik doesn’t like the gods, it is one of the many things about his best friend that Bell has decided is not worth questioning. But he’s certain that this is both of Pelor and of Cik, more certain than he’s been about anything before. It carries the warmth of the god that he knows so well, a warmth he has channelled a thousand times - and it is a gentle warmth, one that reminds him of the flowers in early spring and the closing of a wound and of healing and of life. It reminds him of Midsummers at the temple and his first, shaky attempts at spellcasting. It reminds him of his family, in their happier moments. But it also feels like Cik. It feels like his laughter, his teasing and his recklessness that makes the cleric want to try so hard to protect him. It feels like Cik is holding him, arms keeping him tight against his best friend’s chest.
It feels like love, and Bell believes in it.
He comes back to himself a bit, tries to focus on the feeling and understand it, figure out where it comes from. He doesn’t want to let it go. But it’s hard. Thinking is difficult here, and just being present is taking far more energy than he can expend. The nothing was so easy compared to this, and he holds on for a second more, just to feel the warmth and Cik’s presence.
A noise cuts through the sensation, something that might be a voice. But it is discordant and sad and he loses his focus on the feeling, and he lets go again. Bell sees the nothing creep in around the edges of his vision and hears the noise fade out into the deafening silence. When he relaxes this time, it seems like the emptiness comes for him quicker, and he doesn’t want to fight it anymore. It’s so easy. There is nothing to worry about here, no anxieties gnawing in the back of his mind. No Patron’s disappointment, no guilt over his failures protecting his friends and his sisters, no remembering Symon and what he did and what he almost did. No fears of not belonging here, of never being able to go home. No dreams, but no nightmares either. The itch - the restlessness that set him out on this trip and has never quite left him, the unbearable need to understand - is gone.
And then he feels Keen speaking to him, her presence cutting through the heavy emptiness like Cik’s did. He doesn’t hear the words she’s saying, but he can comprehend what she means - stay. Stay. Please. There’s something in the tone that pulls at him. Stay. Keen has always been talented in the art of convincing, and although Bell doesn’t understand why, he feels compelled to follow her plea. But this nothing is so easy. He wavers, slips back a little.
Her voice is no longer in his ear, but the meaning behind them hangs all around him. Stay. It echoes through him, and he's pulled in two directions.
I have to stay, Bell thinks. He wants to stay. He wants to feel the sun on his cheeks, and he wants to speak those familiar prayers again: I am brave, as the sun father bestows me with courage. And he wants to be there for the KC to protect and heal them and keep them safe, and he wants to be with them because they’re his family, even without an ancient bloodline or name to tie them together. And there is still so much he wants to understand. It’s hard, he acknowledges to the nothing. But I still have good to do here.
A final memory crosses his mind as he begins to push back: Bell crying in Barnabas’ office, Seraphina’s blood smeared across his hand from striking them. Cik places his hands on Bell’s shoulders, looks into his eyes. “You… you need to find a reason to live, alright? Find something, anything.”
They’re my reason, he thinks, and Bell fights against the nothing like he has never fought anything before.
And then,
everything.
The first thing Bell feels after the cold envelops him is a grip on his left hand, someone holding it so tightly it borders on painful. The next thing he feels is a new consciousness of the cold, a bone-deep cold that he can scarcely comprehend. For a moment he doesn’t even try to move, because he is uncertain if he even can. The chill is in his muscles, cutting through to the very center of his body. Involuntarily, he grimaces, and feels his face shift a bit.
A memory comes to him suddenly, an image of a white dragon with its jaw unhinged and eyes wide with fury. Everyone, he thinks, and his eyes fly open in a panic. He tries to sit up as he begins to look around, but he’s suddenly conscious of how weak (as well as cold) his muscles feel, and at first he only manages to hold his head up for a second. He is not in the Friman woods. The air here is warm, and he can feel the cold slowly leaving his bones, can feel the blood rushing to his face and fingers and the sting of them warming up. He looks to his left, and sees Cik standing over him, holding his hand in a vice-like grip and tears on his face. The sight of Cik crying brings his world into a sharp focus, and Bell feels his chest tighten in concern.
“Cik?” he asks, brow furrowed and teeth chattering as he looks around from his prone position on what seems to be a table of some sort. Everyone is here, and at least physically, they look okay from this limited point of view. But their expressions are harrowing; Keen’s cheeks are also damp with tears. There’s a woman in the room that he doesn’t recognize, but she’s staring at him with the same incredulous expression - worry? Relief? Fear? All of those combined? -  that the others wear. He sees a figure near to the table, humanoid but far too tall to be human, looking relieved. Without truly understanding why, he feels tears well up in his eyes.
Bell tries to sit up again, and this time manages to pull himself to a sitting position, and he looks down to see a few sunburst necklaces fall off of him onto the table.
“Bell,” Cik says, and seeing the dragonborn’s expression, tears begin falling from Bell’s eyes.
“What… what happened?” he asks, looking around. It feels uncomfortably like the aftermath of Senfari, waking up in the Lyceum with a gap in his memories, but heavier somehow. This was more, he somehow knows.
“You died,” the woman he doesn’t recognize says, and Bell feels his heart stop for a moment.
“I… died?” he repeats, nearly stumbling over the words. The woman nods, and for a second all Bell can do is stare at her, trying to wrap his head around the enormity of what she just told him. I died. I died. For a moment, he feels impossibly small, more scared than he’s ever been. I don’t want to die, he thinks, a realization that surprises him a bit. Death has never scared him the way he knows it scares others. At his lowest, he thought he was ready to welcome it with open arms. I don't want to die, he thinks again, but realizes: I'm alive.
And then he really and truly begins crying and turns to Cik. The dragonborn catches him in a hug, finally releasing his hand to reach around him and pull him close. Bell hugs him as tightly as his arms can manage, presses his damp cheek against the fighter’s chestplate - metal has never felt this warm before. He knows others in the room are saying things, he still doesn't know where he is or anything about what happened beyond his death and he has no idea who the strangers here could be. And in a second he'll look around, and listen, and try understand this as well. But for now, all he is conscious of is Cik's arms around his, the presence of his friends - who are safe, thank Pelor.
I'm alive, he thinks, resting his head on Cik's chest. And despite his tears, for the first time in a long time, Bell feels some sort of peace. He smiles.
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christine-moore · 7 years
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What My Anxiety Feels Like--And How Medication Helps
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Chemical makeup of sertraline, known more commonly by the brand name Zoloft.
Most of you know I have the TV habits of an 85-year-old. That means my go-to morning news show is "CBS This Morning." (It's really good, guys.) 
Some mornings, I'm still getting ready past the end of "CBS This Morning" at 9 a.m. Because I'm lazy, I often don't change the channel, which means I end up watching the next show on the local CBS affiliate, which means I end up watching "The 700 Club." 
For those of you who may be behind on your right-wing Christian paid programs, "The 700 Club" is the flagship show of the Christian Broadcasting Network, founded by Pat Roberston. It's ostensibly a "news" program that begins with a rundown of current events, followed by featured pieces about people who have received miracles, Christians who have overcome persecution, or upcoming faith-based movies (which can be yours on DVD with a gift to CBN). 
These are all preceded by a short commentary from Robertson, or occasionally by his son Gordon, about the events of the day. His perspectives are predictably pro-Trump, anti-liberal, and I typically roll my eyes and dismiss most of what he says without further thought. Then he started talking about the Las Vegas shooting. 
The headlines focused on Robertson's suggestion that disrespect for authority, for Trump, and for our flag had caused people to "run amok." But what hit home for me was a different episode, when Robertson mentioned that reports showed the Vegas shooter was taking antidepressants. He said these drugs were known to have dangerous side effects, and that doctors who prescribed them might be "drugging people into a state whereby they go out and kill people." He added, "It's not so much about gun control…but this pharmacopia that's coming out and drugging people. And if this is the case, then it's a shocking revelation." 
Thinking like this is not only off-base, it's dangerous. It's impossible to calculate the violence that has not happened because of antidepressant drugs. For the people who benefit from medications for mental health--or, more importantly, those who would benefit from it--the suggestion that these drugs actually cause mental illness is beyond irresponsible. 
Over the past few years, I've come to terms with the fact that I have anxiety and depression. The two have often been inextricably connected, as my anxiety would drive me to reach for impossible goals, then I'd fall into depression when I didn't achieve them. The cycle would continue as I'd tell myself I wouldn't be sad anymore if I could just do XYZ, not realizing XYZ was a false ideal. 
It came to a head after Archie was born, and I went through postpartum depression and anxiety. I decided the problem was our choice to give Archie breast milk. He never latched, which meant I was "exclusively pumping," at one point up to 5 or 6 times a day. I felt chained to this machine while my husband got to spend time with our new baby. I decided I needed to stop pumping, then I'd be happy. 
The conversation about this idea did not go well. I started sobbing. It came up that this had become my standard mode. "I have a right to be sad!" I shouted. After all, I had been through a lot that previous year, right? My mom had just died! How could I be expected to be happy right now?! 
"It's just that...it seems like it's always something." 
He was right. I didn't admit it at first, but I realized he was right. And I realized it takes an incredible amount of love and courage to tell someone what they need to hear. 
In that moment, I realized that even if I did have a right to be sad, I didn't have a right to let the sadness overtake me or, just as importantly, the people around me. I had thought taking medication meant I had failed, that I was not strong enough to handle these challenges or that I was caving to what people wanted me to be, instead of forcing them to accept me for who I am. 
But then my perspective shifted. Yes, I had been through a lot, so why wouldn't I take something to help cope with that stress? Because I had already been going to a grief counselor, I brought up the topic with her and she said, "I think that'd be a good idea." She referred me to a psychiatrist she works with often. 
I had decided I still wanted to keep pumping, and one drug that would allow me to do that was sertraline, known by the brand name Zoloft. We would start with a low dose, and he advised that it would take a few weeks to notice any effects. I told him I didn't want to feel falsely happy or in a "haze." As someone who depends on creativity, I didn't want those senses dulled. He assured me they wouldn't be. 
Three years later, I can confirm he was right. In many ways, I'm more creative now because I can focus on what I'm working on without staring off for 15 minutes of rumination about everything wrong in my life. I have more energy because I'm sleeping well. I don't lose half a day because someone said something I can't stop thinking about. 
In the past, my anxiety would manifest itself as a constant spiral of catastrophic thinking. It would usually go something like this: 
Oh, those two are going to lunch together. They've never invited me to lunch. They must not like me. I always get left out. Why are people so mean? Maybe there's something about me people don't like. That's why I don’t have any friends. I don't need friends anyway. What is it about me they don't like? Maybe I should dress better. None of my clothes look good on me. I'd be more confident if I lost weight. If I'm going to lose weight, I need to exercise more. I don't have anywhere in my house to exercise. My house is too small. I should join a gym. How much does a gym cost? I need to organize my budget. Maybe I should try Mint.com. I should research Mint.com first. I can't do anything until my desk is clean. This whole house is a mess. I could think straight once the house is clean. Once I have my act together, I'll feel better. Maybe then people will like me. Then I'll be happy. Now, as I've told my doctor, I feel like I have mental emergency brakes. If something goes wrong or I start feeling sad, that sadness now feels more temporary. My grief hasn't gone away--a certain memory can still make me cry unexpectedly--but it's not all-consuming. And I'm certainly prone to making a to-do list or two, but I no longer feel consistently compelled to check everything off of it. 
It's been said many times that mental illness should not carry a stigma, and that's absolutely true. But that also can't be an excuse for denial if you feel you'd benefit from treatment, whether it's talk therapy, medication or something else. In other words, living with the unchecked symptoms of anxiety or depression is not just "being who you are." Instead, it's letting the illness control who you are. 
Each case is different, obviously, but in my experience, I've benefited from trusting the responses and guidance of people I love, and who I know love me. Despite what my anxiety tries to tell me, they are out there, and thanks to treatment I can be fully aware of that fact, and grateful for it.
For many people, faith in a higher power provides a foundation for mental calm. And I respect that. But that doesn't mean it's a cure-all. The believer side of me doesn't see medical treatments (for any condition) as an affront to faith. Rather, I see a miracle: that we humans have the capacity for such intricate knowledge, and the moral compulsion to seek cures for human suffering. I see spirituality in the fact that a pill as small as a grain of rice can so profoundly improve my daily experience. I see ministry in how those positive effects ripple out to my husband, my son, my friends, and my coworkers.
I think too often the stigma comes from within, drowning out the voices of people who genuinely want to help. Find the people you trust, who you feel sincerely understand who you are when you're at your best, then, as one of Archie's teachers says, "Open your ears and listen."
The circle of people around you represent your most significant area of impact on this world. Take care of yourself to make sure you're taking care of them, and you'll find yourself happier than you could have ever imagined
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ganymedesclock · 7 years
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So I have to confess that I’ve always thought of the Lion-Paladin connection as this matter of...
Once you bond to a Lion, they’re in your head. Just. permanent fixture. Pilot and Lion are two circles of a venn diagram and there is now a firm overlapping area, and it really doesn’t matter how close they are physically.
(And, as we see with Zarkon, that connection doesn’t atrophy even after thousands of years of disuse- it has to be actively destroyed)
And I guess I’m making a post on that, because I realized apparently not everyone sees it that way? So here’s some thoughts on brain melding and all that jazz.
My read on the connection is that it works very closely with visceral emotion. If either the paladin or their bonded Lion is feeling something strongly, the other person gets it.
When Zarkon tries to overtake Black, Shiro seems to experience physical pain and a heightened sense of anxiety- my read is, that pain is Black’s. Zarkon trying to force the connection hurts her, and since she’s in sync with Shiro, Shiro feels it as well. Effectively, what he’s getting is a secondhand panic attack, as well- her fear and trauma creates a kind of telepathic scream.
Sensory information is a little less easily exchanged. When actually in the cockpit, the paladins mostly use the Lions’ senses- they can just look out the windows, but they can get a much more detailed picture using the Lions’ eyes (wider range of vision and better distance vision), ears, and tactile sense, not to mention things like bodily sense and sense of balance to help with piloting.
Adrenaline and panic in particular flow the ‘loudest’ across the connection and this tends to be the thing that prompts the Lions to come try to rescue their paladins. If the paladin doesn’t think of it as an emergency, or keeps thinking they can handle the situation, the Lion will generally trust that judgment and hold back. (Yellow and Black are a little more likely to second-guess their paladin in that regard and come get them anyway- Red doesn’t usually, but when she does panic, it’s quite spectacular)
That said, they can opt to use each others’ senses outside of the cockpit. The Lions are good at this (paladins can feel when the Lions are using their senses) but with the paladins, they’re limited to a fairly short range, and have to work up to it over time. After they’ve been paladins for a while, they develop an intuitive ‘feel’ for where the Lion is relative to them.
It’s not possible for either paladin or Lion to really ‘close’ that channel without a lot of effort- but they can put up a barrier- effectively putting your back to someone and going “I’m not talking to you”. This will deter sensory exchanges and dull emotional stimuli, but the latter isn’t shut out entirely- and in the case of senses, an especially determined party could probably force it, though it’s... not a good idea to argue with your brain partner. Hurts for everyone involved. Either way, maintaining that ‘barrier’ is something that takes conscious effort- it can’t really be done while you’re paying attention to something else. 
Specific, coordinated thoughts- actual “communication” has to be consciously sent back and forth. This is what we’re seeing, I think, when we get the glowing circuit screens accompanied by the ‘purring’ sound. I don’t think the Lions really talk in anything that parses exactly as words (see Lance’s comments on it in s1e1) as much as it’s a mixture of sensory detail (remembered or imagined), feelings and ideas.
By this same measure- none of the Lions’ names are actually “Blue” “Red” “Green” or so on. They have thought-cluster names that don’t translate well into words. They also don’t use the paladins’ names- just like the paladins nickname the Lions to a degree, the Lions have gone around and nicknamed right back. (They also have nicknames for Coran, Allura, and pretty much anyone else they want to talk about)
That said, the Lions can understand any language their paladin does, but they have some trouble with it and tend to facilitate understanding by trying to read the sentiments and feelings coming off their paladin. The paladins could learn to project their thoughts as the same kind of sense-clusters that the Lions communicate in, but that would be a learning process. 
Incidentally I have a headcanon that Lance would pick up a lot of the ins and outs of Lion mind-bonding the easiest- mostly because he’s very open. Shiro has a natural knack for it but he and Black are kind of hit or miss because there are times actively engaging in that sort of communication can be very triggering for both of them. 
Pidge, Keith, and Hunk are all more or less passable at it but have different insights and aptitudes- Pidge is better at deciphering nuances to what Green is saying, while Keith is better at sharing sensory information with Red. Hunk is the best at intuitively sensing the location of his Lion. 
Other fun things about this: since the communication is never actually off? The Lions can and will show up in people’s dreams. Usually just their bonded paladin, but, as time goes on, the team will develop a better sense of overall interconnectivity- and thus being able to commune with all the Lions more easily, not just their own (though that connection will always be the strongest)
That weird dream Keith had with Red in s2e5? That was actually Red.
Allura has a level of communication with all of the Lions and can usually get a feeling for if and how people around her are connecting with the Lions. She has a better sense of the mice.
(Sometimes she has a feeling there’s a presence inside the Castle trying to talk to her. Those feelings are very rare, tend to fade quickly and since the crystal venom incident she tries not to acknowledge them)
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netherwar-rpg-blog · 7 years
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Welcome to the Wardens, Sav! Your application for THE SORCERER has been accepted with a Adetomiwa Edun FC.
The application can be found under the cut. You have 48 hours to create a roleplay account (cannot be a sideblog) for your character and we will be updating our opening date soon!
O O C - I N F O
Name: Savanah or Sav
Age: 20
Timezone: Pacific Standard
Activity Level: I am also apart of two other rps and work twenty hours a week right now. During the semester I go to school full time. However, I use writing as a stress reliever and almost guarantee that I’ll be on through a rotation every few days to do replies and the like. I would love to be as active as I can because I seriously love everything about the idea of this rp.
Extra: I do not necessarily have any triggers and am pretty game for most any plots, the darker the better. However, I do have anxiety and can occasionally be on and off because of it while I try to balance out RL things. When this happens, though it is rare, I will definitely keep both admins and writing partners in the loop.
S K E L E T O N - I N F O
T H E - B A S I C S
Skeleton Title: THE SORCERER
Name: Adebayo (‘he who was happy’) Adisa (‘the lucid one’); formerly surnamed: Ajanlekoko (‘the Dog is chasing the Wolf’)
Gender: Male
Age: 29
Class: Priest
Faceclaim: Adetomiwa Edun, please. I feel like his appearance  would be a great contrast to the darkness of the character and make him very unassuming while other characters should be leery of him.
C H A R A C T E R - D E T A I L S
Nationality: Narfeni, particularly of the Dorubish people
Appearance: Adetomiwa Edun
When Adebayo stands it’s so people can see his eyes from beneath the hood of his habit, the only color in an otherwise darkened facial expression. He wants people to know that he is not a force to be reckoned with, despite his apparent joyful demeanor. His chest is broad and stance steady, a solid stone in the midst of the chaos raging in his head. When he stands he plants his feet, knees bent slightly as though compensating for a sway in the land no one else can feel. His hands are broad, palms wide and fingers strong, calloused by the work done with his father as a boy, before the family would move to Varthal. The bridge of his nose is tapered, delicate where the heaviness of his cheekbones and  brow are not. It is why anyone speaking to him is drawn into his face, for it is open and friendly yet holds a quiet madness brewing beneath.
A scar graces the curve of his left eyebrow and stretches down into the hairline at his temple, a puckered pink arc from a hook that caught him across the face. Small little scars and callouses line his palms , though moreso on his left,  and make his hands rough to the touch, unpleasant for someone in the business of healing as he is, or is believed to be. His feet look much the same, though the only time you’d see them is if you snuck up on him during meditation or in the bath.
The Sorcerer’s dress wars with his profession, at once a clash of two cultures. He holds onto the roots of his loud, brash, boisterous people in the threading and pattern work of his clothing, making his robes and other essentials as subtly ornate as he can. Adebayo craves color but as a Priest it was stripped from him during his studies, replaced by the dull whites and greys of his faction. Now, while he travels with the Wardens, Adebayo steeps himself in the richness of reds, blues, and purples when he can and contents himself with browns and black and their hidden subtleties when he cannot.
Personality:
➛ Articulate: Being raised by a merchant family, even if they lived off the sea, gave Adebayo a vast appreciation for his studies. His mother, in between having him help his father, taught him his letters and how to read and write them, as well as simple arithmetic. She was training him to take over the business even when there was a hint of something different about him.  This early appreciation for learning served him well in the Citadel of Light, allowing him to raise to the top of his classes and become known as one of the most dedicated and powerful of the disciples.
➛Faithful: Adebayo’s faith is deeply rooted in the derision he began to feel for his people’s Oracles after the death of his sister at their hand. Moving to Varthal and witnessing the power, the true power that the Priests of the Holy Light possesses, gives him the ability to stray from this one tenant of his people’s deep-seated influence. This and the allure that the whispers offer him when he thinks about his little sister…
➛Steadfast: Despite some of the doubts that will always be at war in Adebayo’s mind, once he makes a decision he will stick to it. His is an unmoveable presence and offers strength and consolation to those who may be doubting their path or faith. In times such as these, it is this trait that Ade uses more now than ever.
➛Brash: Much like his people, Adebayo is loud and arrogant. He thinks he knows what is right and will assert himself in the middle of a discussion or argument to state his own opinions even if no one wants to hear them. Often when he’s in the heat of an argument, his articulate responses completely abandon him. He speaks without thinking and allows his emotions to overtake him. This can occasionally lean in his favor but the majority of the time it only results in people wanting to punch him.
➛Hotheaded: His father always said that they should have named him after the fires rather than the happiness they saw on his face as a babe. Growing up, Adebayo had no concept that to channel one’s anger was something that was acceptable. It was only through the Citadel that Ade began to understand  he could harness his temper and his powers in the same breath, fearing that if he did not they would bar him from his studies. However, suppressing these angry outbursts only results in fierce debates, heated arguments, or explosive acts of epic proportions.
➛Secretive: Adebayo learned early on at the Citadel that if he wanted to achieve his true goals behind harnessing the Shadow element he would need to do so where no prying eyes could see. This mindset has bled into his life alongside the Wardens, a part of him for so long that it is almost impossible for him to turn off. Unless you are someone, like the Healer, whom he feels he can trust implicitly then he will hide pieces of himself from you even if he means no harm by it. He doesn’t like any one person to hold all of his cards, preferring to scatter them to the wind and see where they may fall.
C H A R A C T E R - B A C K G R O U N D
History:
Adebayo Ajanlekoko was the first-born son of his family, born into the life of a seafaring and trading that his father and his father’s father had all been a part of. He was meant to carry on that tradition, but there was another plan for him, one that no longer involved his family. He grew up on the Exotic Islands helping his mother raise his younger brother and, then, when the time came, his little sister. Zoya was his pride and his happiness, the thing that made him want to get up in the mornings, the one person he could count on to cheer him up when he was sad. However, she would not be with him long.
Little Zoya would catch the eye of their tribe’s Oracle when she was but five years old, barely old enough to begin her letters, and his parents, so overjoyed that their little girl was special, allowed her to begin her training. They would come to regret that choice. It was not long before the Ajanlekoko family stopped receiving word about young Zoya’s progress, something that had not occurred before then. Adebayo’s father grew worried, fearing that something tragic had happened to his little girl, his only girl. He was right.
They would never tell Ade or his family what had gone wrong when she’d been sent to study with the Saejish people but the grief and anger that consumed the young boy knew no better. It did not care whatever the cause, he did not need to know, but this is where the underlying tensions and mistrust began to fester and grow. By the time Adebayo and his family left the Islands - when he was merely twelve years of age - Ade no longer believed in the sanctity of his people’s covenants with the Balance. If the Balance could allow them to kill his baby sister, what else would it be capable of?
Settling into Varthal was not an uneasy task, for the Varthali were open and accepting of the little boy with dark skin and heavy features. Rather, It would be  their culture and the shock that came with it that proved to be Adebayo’s most difficult adjustment. He did what he knew for that first year, working hard and learning the trade alongside his father, but it was not until the eve of his thirteenth year that he would understand the truth to the power brewing beneath his skin.
The activity that swarmed in the town square in the small southern Varthali village where he lived the day the High Mother and Father arrived is something that Adebayo would marvel at for the next fifteen odd years. When his mother inquired about the fanfare and excitement, she was told that the Holy Light had come to choose its disciples. Adebayo felt dread enter into his stomach then for he knew the thing that had been growing inside of him was no ordinary thing, but it was this, this holy power. And he did not want it. He had no need for it. Ade had become disillusioned by the actions of his past and the sorrow memories of his sister brought to his mind. Yet, the Light could no so easily be hidden. It found him in the market and when High Mother Carlenná smiled down at him in the town square, Adebayo knew he had no choice but to go.
Highwing was as different from Varthal as the Islands were from the ice and snow of Norvik. The activity and buzz of the capital of Morellin was a shock from the quiet existence he had lived for the majority of his life. Adebayo knew that, despite his growing interest in his studies, the interesting people, the kindness of his teachers, he could not let go of the past unless he was forced to. He requested an audience with the High Mother and Father and explained, as he stood there with his head bowed and arms folded in the dull grey habit he was forced to wear, that he wished to be stripped of his family name, for it reminded him too much of the pains and anguish of his past. The Mother smiled upon him and surnamed him Adisa, the lucid one. He would never know if that smile foretold the way his life would be shaped from that moment on.
Adebayo, freed from the shackles of his past, pledged himself gratefully to his studies. Soon he rose through the ranks, his eagerness, power, and growing skill marking him as potentially one of the most skilled among the new disciples. However, his fascination did not lie solely in the healing properties of the Light but drew him into the allure of the Shadow element. His teachers cautioned him to learn it and use it sparingly but Adebayo continued his studies, despite their words, for there was something there that pushed him forward, a propulsion that soon became an obsession for understanding what a Priest could do with the information he learned as the Shadow’s student.
It was not long into the rigor of his studies that his secretive actions began to take a toll. Adebayo began to hear the voices, whispers that snaked along the streets of Highwing and permeated the  very walls of the Citadel. They spoke to him of many things, great things, and, even, promised him the ability to finally understand the circumstances behind little Zoya’s death. He worked harder then than ever, ignoring the concerned looks and well-meant warnings. If he could bring back his Zoya, if he could learn the  truth, the thing that haunted his waking dreams and was the fodder for his nightmares, Adebayo would continue his work until it drove him mad.
Reason for joining the Wardens:
Adebayo became paranoid in his actions, concerned that his experiments with Shadow would be discovered by the Citadel and he would be forced to give up the sole thing driving him or, even worse, be stripped of his station as Priest of the Holy Light and cast into exile, a pawn under the thumb of those who wished to stifle his power. When word reached him that a new faction, one dedicated to understanding the Netherworld and its powers, had been created by none other than Vanáriel Vaewren herself, the great Priestess and Hand of the Light, Adebayo knew that would be his salvation. Stealing away in the dead of night, Ade tracked the Hand to her camp in Miwor Town, claiming a loyalty to her that he only felt in the vaguest sense of the word. If she offered him the opportunity to continue his work, possibly even further his power with the addition of the information discovered about the Netherworld, then he would be more than happy to pretend. He was, after all, a dedicated student.
R O L E P L A Y - S A M P L E
There have always been tales and songs of the walking dead. As your character huddles around a limp and fading campfire, they glimpse ghostly shapes through the forest’s trees. What do they do as the undead approach?
His mother had always warned him against playing with dead things. The fish that washed up on the shore, the birds, fallen from their nests, all of them were taken from this world by the Balance for a reason, she used to say. As a boy Adebayo had taken this to heart but, now, now he merely laughed at the superstitions of an old Island woman. He had loved her, in many ways he still continued to in his heart of hearts, but he had forsaken his past when he had changed his name, taken on the true mantle he had been born to carry. Death was no longer something he feared. He harnessed it, learned from it.
It made him a stronger man. It brought him that one step closer to Zoya, precious Zoya.
Ade had glimpsed the shadows as evening fell, the light of his fire keeping them at bay as he went about his business. They were merely curious, he knew, of the man who walked so calmly in a land held in the claws of death. He could hear them, the whispers that fed the Shadow louder in their presence, slithering in and out of his mind’s eye as smoothly as rushing water.. He had know they would be coming. He was not afraid. Adebayo set up camp as he normally would, calmed his horse when she spooked at the sounds coming from the treeline, and bedded down for the night, all the while keeping the whisperings at the back of his mind. In these recent months, Ade had grown accustomed to their chatter, their hissing, but the closer they became to him and his quickly dwindling fire the harder they became to ignore. They may only be curious of him but, he knew, the undead were fickle. Their whims could change as easily as the direction of the wind before the first signs of a storm.  
His dagger was clutched in his left hand, curled beneath his blankets. He was not an agile man, his body too broad, but he was strong and his arms held power enough to keep them at bay if need be. But, Ade did not want to harm them. The Shadow whispered to him, beseeched him not to, not unless it needed them. So, he would not, not until the moment they became useful to him.
“I hear you, my friends,” he whispered into the night. The ghastly shadows moved closer, only a shambles pace away from the edge of his fire now. “I understand your pain, your curiosity. I will not hurt you. I merely wish to understand you.” The gurgling, hissing mumbles and groans grew louder and he smiled into the darkness, teeth flashing from the sliver of moon peeking from beneath the blanket of clouds that crossed the sky.
“I understand you. I wish to help you. Come closer, do not be afraid. The Shadow calls to you, it can help you. It can save you, too, my friends. Oh, it is more glorious than anything you will ever know. All you must do is reach out, and I will meet you.”
The dagger flashed in the light. The whispers grew quite. The Shadow was sated and Ade was content, body humming with power as his mind drifted off into a fitful sleep filled with his demons..  
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jonathantwatson · 6 years
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5 Easy Ways to Get Moving (When You Really Don’t Want To)
Believe it or not, we all struggle with the motivation necessary to do most of the things in life that require actual focus and energy.
Almost nobody is naturally inspired to get up and run miles or lift heavy things every day, not even the most practiced athletes or bodybuilders in the world. So if you have trouble sticking to a workout plan, can’t seem to get to the gym every day, or struggle daily to muster the desire to exercise at all, please realize that you are not just lazy – and more importantly, you’re not alone!
Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. – Og Mandino
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  Our brains are driven, for preservation’s sake, to do the littlest work in the least amount of time possible to get by every minute of every day. We are not naturally designed to want to wake up and put our bodies through even the mildest amounts of physical or mental strain.
But if you recognize this about yourself and still dream of looking and feeling more in shape, there are quite a few easy tricks you can start playing on your brain to retrain the way it thinks about exercise.
5 Simple Ways to Keep Yourself Motivated to Exercise when You Really Don't Want to
#1. Enjoy the Ride!
If you dread the minutes leading up to your gym time (like me), and sometimes that dread means that you quietly excuse yourself from what you wish was your regular session, then we need to identify and cure that sensation. The simplest thing you can do to eliminate that feeling is to actually make the experience more fun for both your conscious and subconscious brain.
Many people carry digital music players with them to keep their minds busy, and therefore their motivation up as they exercise. Create a few playlists of your favorite songs and get used to only listening to them once you’re in the zone to do your work out. If there’s a book you’ve been itching to read but feel like you don’t have time because you know you should get your gym session in for the day, check to see if there is an audio-book version that you can listen to while you’re on the move. The same goes for your favorite Youtube channels, podcasts, and even Netflix episodes (if you’re really good at multitasking). I’ve even heard of apps that are designed to make you feel like you’re escaping from the zombie apocalypse as you run, and even keep track of your daily progress with fun little achievements.
When you’re first acclimating yourself to regularly exercising your body, anything you can do to keep your attention filled with something you normally enjoy will help those painful minutes you’re not used to slipping by faster.
#2. Commit to a Routine
Along the very same lines, if you take the time to mentally embrace the routine of a daily exercise session (or whatever workout plan you’re committing to), then over time, these sessions will become a lot less daunting.
Part of the science behind this is that our brains like the sensation of habit – again, they like to automate as much of our conscious action as possible to expend the least amount of energy. So a big part of the work you have to do in order to fully appreciate your fitness routine is to convince your brain that just showing up to the gym every day now is a normal part of your routine (and is going to be for a long while).
Even if you hit the gym every single day for a whole month, stretch while you’re there and then leave, you’ll still be doing more to build your brain’s acceptance of this routine than intermittently going hard and feeling successful, and then giving up and Netflixing from your couch for days afterward. This habit-building exercise is just as effective as making your exercise time fun – and even more fundamentally important if you ever expect to plan your gym time and actually be excited about it!
#3. Piecemeal It, Set Fewer Goals Rather than Many
If you are like me and know you should really get started today, but are also enormously overwhelmed with all the workout plans out there and just don’t know which one is best for you, then you need to set some personalized goals to motivate yourself.
I myself struggle with having way too many goals and wanting to stick to each of them perfectly, and my failure to meet any of them often overrides my brain with anxiety and leaves me quitting and starting over on them all, creating an endless cycle with little to no actual progress. But it is absolutely not true that your determination and motivation should be all or nothing. Setting small, attainable goals for yourself gives you more chances to reach that sweet sensation of achievement, and the more your brain experiences that rush, the more it will naturally drive you forward in your fitness endeavors to capture that sensation more often. (More strategy on this, read SMART Goals)
It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop. – Confucius
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  If that means you forgo planning actual workouts for an entire week so that your first goal can be making sure you just went to the gym five or six days in a row, then you at least have something simple to commit to and accomplish. From there you can obviously work up to bigger aspirations for yourself, but just getting yourself into that cycle of thought makes all the difference: This is what I’m going to do – and now I’ve done it! What next?
#4. Delay the Reward
With those goals that you have set and achieved should also come rewards. In today’s world of instant gratification, the little things that we enjoy spending time on often become a lot more satisfying if we are able to make ourselves wait for them. Holding off on your favorite snack, show, or phone app until after you have exercised for the day is a great way to entice you to get there, get done, and be on your way.
Challenge yourself to give up something little that you’re used to having every day, whenever you want it, and reserve it as your post-workout reward. On top of that primal sense of accomplishment, you’ll get from checking off one of your goals, your brain will also have the chemical reward from one of your regular indulgences to reinforce the positivity of sticking to your routine. Not only will you be much more motivated to hit the treadmill, you’ll probably also feel less stressed about spending time and focus on your fun habit afterward.
#5. Accountability
And last but not least, if it just feels absolutely impossible to motivate yourself to get going, then try letting someone else hold you accountable for your routine as well.
  An accountability partner to hold you to your exercise commitments is a great strategy to stay motivated
  From a moral viewpoint, it’s much more difficult for us to be comfortable with stepping outside our own heads and letting someone else down than it is for you to change your mind about working out today ( for the third day in a row) and justify to yourself that that decision is acceptable. Try making plans with a friend, signing up for a regular fitness class, or checking in frequently with an online community. (My personal favorite is the weight loss community on Reddit, r/loseit – it’s very difficult not to be inspired when you’re reading the stories and comments on there.)
And make an effort not to make your fitness dates with that friend who always bails, too. Commit your time to a person or community that you know will be equally as committed to you, and then that relationship can act as a key factor in keeping you from falling off your workout wagon. Tell them your ups, tell them your downs, and listen to theirs – after all, we’re all in this together!
So to recap…
…if you have a really hard time with getting up and getting out, then start doing anything you can to alleviate the feeling itself that exercise is a struggle. Bring tools to your workouts to make them interesting and fun, give yourself credit for what you do accomplish, and invite friends along to make your routine even more interesting. Believe it or not, over time, you’ll actually being to appreciate your workouts themselves for the way they make your body and brain feel. But until then, keep it simple, keep it fun, and whatever you do, keep it regular.
Author Bio:
Jordan is the beauty and brains behind Beautifully Alive! She loves eating healthy and trying new recipes.The self-proclaimed Zumba Queen has a passion for beauty products and loves reading new books. She's always down for a DIY project!
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Any BenxJordan headcanons left after all teh questioning I've put you through like what would happen if they actually got married? Possibly the ship meme?
1.Whois the most affectionate?:
Ben.
Even if he’s shown time and again that he is definitely not likeall of Jordan’s exes or her circle of casual intimate partners (bethey immortals, Fae, or mortals), the trauma and the instinctiveaversion to being TOO open with her feelings, affections, and justgenerally putting herself in a vulnerable position is extremelydifficult to get rid of.
Giveit a few decades, though, and Jordan will be the one constantlyshowering Ben with kisses, oftentimes with full knowledge that peoplecan see and someone is recording it.
2.Bigspoon/Little spoon?:
Jordan.
Have you seen Ben’s muscles? Do you want to be hugging all that orbe hugged by it? Because Jordan sure as hell loves feeling all thatstrength like damn.
3.Mostcommon argument?:
Howmuch work Ben is taking on.
“You’re a chronic workaholic, ifanyone’s supposed to be working their ass off and skipping sleep,it’s me, seeing as it’s physically and magically impossible forme to drop dead!”
4.Favoritenon-sexual activity?:
Unloadingand discussing all the ridiculousness of Auradon politics and governance, plus a little bit of current events.
As youmight expect, Arendellian chocolate is a highly valued commodity,both in the state itself and elsewhere for strictly unofficiallyplying others to your thinking.
A potential supply crisis with cacao beans sends the entire realm into a tizzy, and Jordan and Ben both laugh at it and genuinely worry, as Queen Elsa famously, subtly threatened to cause catastrophic damage to the economy and supply chains of Auradon by shutting down Arendelle’s ports, if chocolate was included in the “anti-lobbying” law, alongside silver dollars, precious metals and jewelry, and real estate.
5.Whois most likely to carry the other?:
Ben.
Jordan COULD carry him by virtue of being able to manipulate herphysical strength to however she wants to, but honestly, with someonelike him, would YOU want to be the one carrying him or be carried?
6.Whatis their favorite feature of their partner’s?:
Jordan’seye game is top notch, bringing plenty of meaning to terms “windowsto the soul” and “eye fucking.”
Bennever really quits Tourney or vigorous physical exercise, and Jordanlikes the fact that she’s got her own personal iron-man to protecther from danger and make her feel safe, almost 24/7.
7.What’sthe first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings forthe other?:
Benstarts to be a little more friendly and flirty towards Jordan.
Jordanproceeds to get VERY antsy, nervous, and flighty around him becauseshe can’t help but think of all the numerous politicalramifications and the negative attention that could arise from amortal king having an immortal lover, who might eventually become animmortal ruler and set a dangerous precedent.
8.Nicknames?& if so, how did they originate?:
Ben:“Ironman,” “Your Majesty,” “His Highness,” “Big Man”“Beast Boy,” all alluding to his physical size and strength, and position
Bendoesn’t really do nicknames, seeing as he loves saying Jordan’sname and would never think of calling her anything less perfect andbeautiful, as that would be an insult to the perfect and beautifulcreature before him.
(Cue a flustered Jordan smacking him.)
9.Whoworries the most?:
Jordan.
Benhas long learned to let go of unnecessary stress and anxiety byvirtue of physically being unable to give, nor have that many fucksto begin with.
Jordan,being immortal, and not needing things like sleeping or eating, does.
10.Whoremembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?:
Jordan.
Perks of being an immortal magical creature with an impeccable,infallible memory.
11.Whotops?:
Ben.
Jordan initially has issues with it considering that it’s playinginto the stereotype of genies all being submissive as hell, and onher own fears and insecurities about being controlled, but sheeventually decides to say “Fuck it” to what other people think ofwhat she does in the bedroom.
“Ifyou seriously spend a good chunk of your time thinking about what Ido, in private, specifically away from people’s eyes, and wouldrarely, if ever, tell them about it, then something is VERY wrongwith you.”
12.Whoinitiates kisses?:
Initially,Ben, before Jordan overtakes him on that regard as she gets over herinsecurities. It starts to get more and more frequent the older Bengets, because she is VERY aware that she can’t do this forever...
13.Whoreaches for the other’s hand first?:
Ben.
Jordan is highly reluctant to make any sort of physical contact asidefrom self-defense or derisive gestures.
14.Whokisses the hardest?:
Ben.
He’s something of a non-Newtonian fluid: hardens and solidifies assoon as you expose them to some initial pressure.
15.Whowakes up first?:
Ben,but Jordan generally doesn’t sleep at all, so it’s kind of a mootquestion.
16.Whowants to stay in bed just a little longer?:
Jordan.
She gets precious little time with Ben because of said chronicworkaholism, and his numerous inescapable duties.
17.Whosays I love you first?:
Ben.
Jordan is VERY careful about throwing such strongly worded termsaround, to the point wherein she only has a handful of things shewill say she loves, and dislikes it whenever marketing slogans orreviews overuse the term.
18.Wholeaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does itusually say?):
Jordan.
“Try to actually get home on time today, your majesty; your lovinggirlfriend would love to do more for (and to) you than make you lunch.”
19.Whotells their family/friends about their relationship first?:
Ben,because it would be a scandal otherwise.
It’s a lot less theatricaland disastrous than “Did I Mention?” considering he’s underJordan’s “spell” by his own volition.
20.Whatdo their family/friends think of their relationship?:
Beastand Belle are highly supportive of it, though only the latterseriously talks with Ben and Jordan about the legal and politicalramifications. Beast just thinks he can claim that he loves who hewants, and does what he does, and bulldoze it through the legislativesystem, just like he had most of Auradon’s laws and legislation.
(Ona side note, this is why the production of all his favourite snacksare so heavily subsidized and why Castle Beast is required by law toalways have an “emergency supply” of the ingredients to makethem, along with capable staff.)
Aladdin,Jasmine, Genie, and Eden are similarly supportive of it, though allof them do constantly remind her to take advantage of the time theydo have together, and help her through the more interesting andunique perils of Djinn/Mortal relationships and the hell that isbeing the lover of a royal.
21.Whois more likely to start dancing with the other?:
Ben.
He’s as good as Beast is, which is to say, not at all aside fromthe annual “Tale As Old As Time” waltz, but Jordan can’t helpbut oblige him because it’s so much fun.
22.Whocooks more/who is better at cooking?:
Jordan.
Ben has staff for cooking because his time, energy, and skills areused for much more important things. That aside, she does obviouslycook and do recipes on her channel.
23.Whocomes up with cheesy pick up lines?:
Ben.
Jordan does not know what compels him to use his wide vocabulary andskill with linguistics and speech to make the lamest, most awful punsshe has ever heard (and that remains true for the rest of theforeseeable future), but she does know that it’s both annoying andstrangely endearing.
24.Whowhispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear duringinappropriate times?:
Jordan.
As with the Dangerous Liaisons headcanon series, she doesn’t havethe same sense of modesty nor the same standards as humans do.
25.Whoneeds more assurance?:
Jordan.
Ben is perfectly capable of standing on his own and self-regulatingby virtue of being the well-adjusted person that he is, and nothaving the giant slew of emotional issues that Jordan has.
26.Whatwould be their theme song?:
Ican’t figure out something at the moment, sorry.
27.Whowould sing to their child back to sleep?:
Jordan.
She isn’t worn out by meetings, royal hearings and publicappearances, and legislative work, alongside the fact that she canstay awake all night (not needing sleep and all) and let her husband get his much needed sleep.
28.Whatdo they do when they’re away from each other?:
Benreads and constantly goes about working and hanging out with hisconstituents. Jordan makes videos, and experiencing things forherself without Ben, both as a helpful habit for a healthyrelationship, and as training for when she inevitably outlives Ben.
29.oneheadcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart:
Jordanis always aware of Ben being mortal and that he’ll eventually die,and there’s nothing she can do about it—and neither does Ben WANTto live forever, because he’s well aware of how even the best willeventually be outshined by the new generation.
Itgets worse and worse as Ben gets older, and weaker, and sicker, andshe constantly puts up a happy face for him...
30.oneheadcanon about this OTP that mends it:
… Benreminds her that she doesn’t need to do it, that she has hispermission to be sad, to share all her feelings, fears, and worrieswith him, just as she did for him for all these decades.
It reallyhelps keep her sane (in as much as you could call a djinn “sane”considering they don’t really have a remotely human psyche), andthough his passing still hurts, it doesn’t hurt as much if shehadn’t had all those long, important conversations with Ben.
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