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mommymooze · 3 years

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Write me a fic about Claude helping Dimitri get through his PTSD post War.

Healing Dimitri

This is my best answer. It took a while, I tried from several directions, finally settled on this.

Warning: dealing with post traumatic stress.

The war is over. Healing must begin. Claude must leave for Almyra. Byleth leads the church and rewrites the doctrine to right the millions of wrongs.

Claude worries most about one thing. Not about claiming the throne to Almyra, he has to do it himself and he has been planning this for years. Not Byleth in fixing the church. He has Seteth and Flayne and many good clerics to help fix it.

His biggest concern is Dimtiri. He’s seen the slow progression into the beast as he called himself. Claude watched as Dedue returned and Rodrigue worked with his friend. Dimitri clawed his way up from the hell his mind had sent him in and became more human. Claude could see that his royal friend is better, but not always well.

His friends are good for him, but not enough. None of the friends that grew up with him deal with trauma well. From the Blue Lions, Mercedes would provide the most help, however she has her hands full with her brother and working with Byleth in the church.

Claude is a firm believer in the best person for the job. Whenever one of his team fell in a battle, he sent a cleric. Sure, he watched around them, shooting down enemies trying to attack an injured friend, but he didn’t run over, he sent the healer. His job is to take down the enemy, keep track of everyone on the field, keep everyone alive. His thoughts keep bringing him back to Marianne. That woman’s been through some trauma. Some of it outside, some self-inflicted, however she has grown past that to a beautiful functioning person who is so much stronger and better. Hmm. Not unlike Dimitri’s in some ways.

Claude reaches out to her. She meets him in Derdriu, they talk. She’s willing to go to Dimitri but she wants Dorte and she wants the cleric from Garreg Mach.

Byleth complies with the request sending the cleric and Dorte as well as a small regiment of soldiers to ensure safe passage. They arrive at the castle shortly after Marianne. They are greeted and ushered into an audience chamber. Dimitri welcomes them warmly.

“What brings you both all the way up to Fhirdiad?” The King asks, his eye bright and a smile on his face.

“We go where we feel we are needed most. At the moment, we feel as if we are needed here. That, and Marianne missed Dorte. Besides, who would not want to spend summer up here where it is cool and pleasant?” You smile widely, happy to see your old friend.

“True. We have the best weather for summer on the continent.” Dimitri agrees. “What can I get for you both?”

Marianne smiles softly, “I think we would like to have a place to stay and clean up. Would you like guests for dinner, Dimitri?”

“It would be my honor. Please, both of you join me for dinner. If you require anything special, please let me know. I do have some work to complete, however I will happily join you later.” The King takes his leave.

You are shown to your quarters which are next to each other down one of the many corridors of the palace. You cleanse the dirt of the road from yourself, putting on clean robes, a balaclava and hood. Once dressed you knock on Marianne’s door. She bids you to enter.

“I don’t think Claude told him anything as to why we are here.” The bluenette says softly, her shoulders drooping.

“Claude doesn’t fill anyone in on his plans. He executes them first then confirms that was his intent from the beginning. Claude is aware that Dimitri is still not recovered from the war. He is leaving it up to us to see that the King regains his health and doesn’t let himself spiral into despair. I think Claude has been planning this for a while. There is so much turmoil with settling the lords of territories down, establishing his household, getting the government re-established. For Dimitri more things are in place, and now he can begin to start routines. We can work on his healing. Incorporating into those routines methods for recovery. He may look better on the outside, but inside he is still a very broken man. We need to support him, but not be a crutch.”

“I understand.” Marianne looks the cleric in the eye with renewed resolve. “Part of him still feels he is a beast. Part of him feels unworthy of anything. We must remind him that he is human. Help him through his pain, lead him away from self-destruction and punishment.”

“You understand. So do I. It is one thing to help, it is another thing to have been there and fought through it. Knowing first hand the fear, the self-loathing, the pain. We are here for him, and for each other.”

“Exactly.” The fellow healer smiles. “I will check on Dorte and then unpack.”

“He is going to be so happy to see you. He had a pleasant boring ride here. I think he loves the area and now that you two are together he will be spoiled rotten!” You laugh.

“He was my best friend when I needed him the most.” Marianne reminisces.

Marianne, Dimitri and you have a quiet dinner in a smaller dining area in the castle. There are grand dining areas with fine silver and chandeliers and multiple crystal goblets but dining with good friends calls for more intimate surroundings, and much, much less glamor.

Dimitri is dressed in a white dress shirt, black leather belt with a buckle of the Lion of Faerghus, crisp, starched black pants and shining black boots. Marianne is wearing a modest dress that is Faerghus blue, necklace and earrings that Hilda made to accompany the dress. You are wearing your usual healer robes, never changing.

Dinner is pleasant and there is plenty of small talk. Dimitri is pleased to hear any news about others that he worked with during the war and those he went to school with. He listens intently to Marianne’s stories of what has been happening in the alliance. Ignatz stopped by her residence a few months ago to paint the growth of spring in her area. She recalls how beautiful it is that he can take something as simple as a few buds opening on a tree and turn it into something wistful and serene.

You provide the gossip of the monastery. How Flayne shocked Seteth one day to say she was going to visit Raphael and Maya and see the world. The day she left Seteth had cried for hours and how you were there to reassure him that his baby sister is fine and all guardians need to let their little fledglings leave the nest someday. Byleth is doing well and has been working in Abyss when he doesn’t have his hands absolutely full with the Church of Sothis.

Dinner is finished and Dimitri must return to his duties. The work of a King is never done. He sits at the desk in his office writing correspondence. He is left to his work until he calls for tea service at 10:00 pm. Instead of a servant or kitchen maid, you bring the tea, along with a cup for yourself.

“This is a pleasant surprise.” Dimitri greets you.

“I wanted to thank you for allowing me to stay and also speak with you about a few things.” You say pouring Chamomile tea into both cups.

Dimitri’s eyebrows furrow just a bit. “I think I know.”

“Well then, please tell me.” You ask, reaching for the honey to add to your tea.

“I have been telling everyone I am fine. But it is not the truth. The war is over, but it is not over inside my head.”

“That is one of the things. There are others. You and I have known each other for a long time.” You begin.

The two of you speak of thoughts going back further and further in your memories. It is completely understandable that he does not remember much after being freed from the prison in Fhirdiad until a time after Byleth’s return.

“What about the voices of the dead?” You softly ask him.

“They are still there, not as loud. Still angry and judgmental.” He admits.

After your session, Dimitri must attempt to sleep so that he can work the next day. You instruct him to get into bed and you will remain with him, sitting next to the bed in a chair. A lamp is on a low flame placed on a table behind you, blocking the light from falling on him and illuminating your paper. Quietly you sketch on your paper. He watches you at first, the scratching on the paper is soft and repetitive.

Hours pass, when he is long asleep you have switched papers to making notes of the conversation you had with Dimitri earlier.

Dimitri begins to stir, his eye rapidly moving around under his eyelid, his legs twitch and his hands open then go into fists. He wakes, sitting straight up in the bed with a terrified look on his face.

“Dimitri.” You speak softly. “I am reaching to touch your hand. Please allow it.”

You stand beside his bed, gently running a finger along the back of the hand closest to you that is fisted in his sheets. You run your fingers along the back of his hand until it relaxes. Once it is relaxed you lay your hand on top of his.

“Talk if you would like.” You encourage him.

“Enemy soldiers. I tore them to pieces.” His voice is quiet and trembling.

“How did you feel about them then.”

“I was angry and surviving and they were terrorizing my people. They did not belong here. I wanted them gone by any means.” His eyes are closed, brow furrowed.

“Seeing this now, how do you feel about them. “

“My anger was too much. Too vicious.” Dimitri almost sounds angry with himself.

“To be able to look back and reflect, it is good.” You answer softly rubbing on his hand. “If you could go back and talk to yourself what would you say?”

Dimitri looks a bit surprised. “I don’t know. I have never thought of that. “

“I think you should try to go back to sleep.” You tell him. He is significantly calmer, more relaxed. Instead of concentrating on the nightmare, he is concentrating on his thoughts about it.

“Perhaps.” The King says, stifling a yawn. “What have you been drawing?”

I show him a sketch of his hand, clenched in a loose fist.

He studies it in the low light. “Is that my hand? I recognize that scar there. Am I angry? “

“Not at all.” You reassure him. “I will show you again once I have finished it.”

Dimitri closes his eye as I again work on the drawing. The scratch of my pen on paper is now more familiar to him and he relaxes.

You and Marianne both write to Claude/Khalid about working with Dimitri and the progress you have been making. He sends back encouraging letters hoping that in the fall, before the snow blocks all of the roads that perhaps Dimitri can take a vacation in Derdriu? After discussing this with Marianne, it sounds like a fantastic reward for the King’s progress.

Daytime Dimitri is Marianne’s specialty. Having come from a Noble house, she is much more accustomed to working with nobles and political persons. She can put on airs and suppresses much of her fear and tension. She teaches Dimitri some of her coping mechanisms. Marianne is also good at making Dimitri take breaks. The weather is beautiful and they both love horseback riding. They leave for a picnic away from the palace every few days. This gives Dimitri some down time to just be calm and centered.

Consulting with each other you discuss the words that make Dimitri react negatively, discussions that seem to be more difficult for him than others. Those are saved for you to discuss with him in your nightly chats. You work with him developing skills to deal with the more difficult situations and conversations. Both of you teach him breathing techniques to deal with stress and uncomfortable situations, bad feelings. He diaries every day about his thoughts and feelings. It is discussed with him how he feels about everything in the past, how best to deal with it for his future.

After weeks of conversing with him, watching over him as he sleeps you give Dimitri a small present. He opens the rectangular package. It is the drawing of his hand, a daffodil is held in his grip. The flower is healthy and not damaged.

“Daffodils mean forgiveness, correct? Dimitri asks.

“Yes. An appropriate gift.” You smile.

Dimitri stares at the image. “I have forgiveness in my hand.”

“You do. You have the ability to forgive yourself.” The cowled cleric smiles at him.

“Do I deserve forgiveness?” The King asks out loud.

“I believe you do. But only you can forgive yourself. The flower is also a symbol of rebirth. After the cold harshness of winter passes, it is one of the first flowers to bloom in the spring, even blooming after late snows. It perseveres through all hardships to spring forth and share its beauty and happiness, letting us know that spring is here.”

“Truly inspiring. I hope I can live up to this challenge.” He says modestly.

Dimitri is improving. He has is good days, he has his bad days. The clerics remind him that everyone has some days better than others. The good days are appreciated. The bad days are left behind. This year he is without Dedue on the anniversary of his parent’s death. The day is spent in remembrance. Food popular in Duscur is served at meals. Quiet meals are enjoyed with those that recall Lambert and Patricia, they share some fond memories of the now King when he was younger. Dimitri’s face lights up on occasion when he remembers bits and pieces of his own past.

You talk with Dimitri about the ghosts. They are still around. Not all of the time. Yes, he had mistakenly thought they would go away once the war was over. Discussing his taking on the blame for things that are well beyond his control. Working on small steps, ways to move forward, to remember the past, yet leave it behind. Helping him to understand that he has a future, he deserves a future. Helping him to reveal what he wants to see, setting goals and working toward them.

The weather is getting much warmer. This is a good year for farms and crops. A bit of prosperity is returning to the land, which greatly helps with the healing for everyone. Dimitri is adding more and more items to his list of things that make him happy, that make him feel peaceful and relaxed. Marianne goes riding with him more frequently, she has been assisting him with delegating some of his work. They are working very well together and have positive body language between them.

The three of you are sitting in one of the rose gardens enjoying afternoon tea. A young cat, perhaps 5 or 6 months old wanders to your area. Marianne of course must pick up and cuddle the soft fuzzy creature, immediately making it purr happily in her hands. She hands it to Dimitri, who is always hesitant with delicate things. The kitty walks from her hands over to his, sitting in his large palm and looking up into his smiling face, purring happily. As the friends chat, the cat climbs up his shirt to sit on his shoulder, rubbing it’s face on his neck. Dimitri laughs heartily as the fuzzy friend bats and plays with his hair that is not pulled back from his face.

More frequently Dimitri sleeps through the night without any dreams wakening him. When he does waken due to a nightmare, he is able to recognize that it is his mind trying to deal with the issues of the past. It is not a punishment, it is nothing he has control over and he is able to get himself back to sleep without major interruptions.

Dimitri is setting many excellent goals. Not only regarding his self-care and self-reflection but in other areas of his life. Goals for restoring the city, goals for working with the different areas of Fodlan and goals in restoring some of his friendships. He has been dealing better with talking about the traumas. Identifying where his fears are coming from. Showing less symptoms of depression, not being as withdrawn as he had been just a few months ago. He feels better about asking for what he wants, saying no to something he does not wish to do. He begins to live for himself and for the future.

Finally the time has come. Marianne and Dimitri head out to Derdriu while you stay up north, the hotter weather does not agree with you.

Dimitri greets the fellow king confidently and warmly. Claude is happily surprised. While Marianne is there to see the interactions between the friends, Claude wants to share with you his gratefulness. Dimitri is more of his old self, able to laugh and freely speak his mind without apologizing for everything that doesn’t go perfectly smoothly. He recognizes that his friend is so much more relaxed and feeling confident.

A few weeks later a slightly tanned and still relaxed Dimitri greets you upon his return. The vacation and diplomatic meetings were just what was needed. When the three of you sit down together for dinner, you do not mention to either of them that perhaps they sit a bit closer to each other than they had in the past.

You announce that you will pull back on your sessions with Dimitri. He needs to keep focused on his recovery, it is a long hard road but he has been led by the best down this path. You have found that there are others that may be in need of some assistance working on their coping with the past.

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ichigo777666 · 4 years

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FE3H Playthrough Log

My notes of my progress while playing FE3H. Originally written in my notebook. Still haven’t finished writing this either..

1st Playthrough

Chose Black Eagles (intending to woo over Edelgard) as F!Byleth then immediately got distracted by the hotness that is Seteth...So wound up going Silver Snow with no additional recruit-able characters. Went into my over-raising perfectionist complex and wound up maxing everything I could.

F!Byleth, Petra, Bernie, Dorothea, Caspar, Lindhardt, Ferdinand, Flayn, Seteth, Catherine, and Shamir were all S+ Maxxed out on EVERY SINGLE SKILL with EVERY SINGLE CLASS MASTERED (minus a few of the dark mage/dark bishop classes due to lack of dark seals). Completed all support conversations with all of these characters to the max level.

Chose Seteth for my ending.

Total Time for this playthrough: 144 hours...

Total time spent in Fe3H: 144 hours

2nd Playthrough

Chose M!Byleth this time (and immediately realized his female counterpart is superior) and then Blue Lions. After realizing I liked NONE of the students, I set my sights on my fishy dragon queen Flayn :). Recruited every recruit-able character from GD & BE BEFORE we got to the Gronder Field battle. Then obsessed over support conversations again. Recruited all character I could. Completed all all support conversations with all of these characters to the max level (only lacked Claude, Edelgard, Jeritza, and Hubert).

Chose Flayn for my ending then realized I could spam the last maps over & over again to choose a different ending (since I had made a new save before choosing Flayn). Went on to do the S rank (Male) endings for Catherine, Gilbert, Alois, and Manuela before I had a memory lapse and accidentally erased the pre-choice file...

Total Time in this playthrough: 100 hours...

Total time spent in Fe3H: 244 hours

3rd Playthrough

After making the mistake above (see last paragraph) and realizing I still had to do a whole bunch of BL endings with the girls before I could never use them again, I decided to redo my last playthrough with M!Byleth and BL house...and try to speed through it as just Byleth...I am bad at this and prone to battle quest for hours to level up skills...

But powered through and wound up doing M!Byleths endings with Ingrid, Annette, Mercedes, Lindhardt, Petra, Dorothea, Bernadetta, Shamir, Leonie, Marianne, Lysithia, and Sothia.

Total Time in this playthrough: 11 hours

Total time spent in Fe3H: 255 hours

4th Playthrough

By this time I am SICK of BL house...and I never want to deal with Dimitri again...so naturally I became F!Byleth to finish off BL for once and all! Again, attempting to speed through as just Byleth with some support. I have practice this time - it should go easier!

Nope, I’m wrong! Somehow I’m even slower this time... But I got done F!Byleths endings with Lindhardt, Dorothea, Ferdinand, Caspar, Mercedes, Sylvain, Felix, Dedue, Dimitri, Ashe, Lorenz, Raphael, Ignatz, Alois, Gilbert, and Hannerman. Maybe b/c I sped through most of the dialog but oddly Sothis was NOT an ending option here...weird.

Total Time in this playthrough: 16 hours

Total time spent in Fe3H: 271 hours

For those keeping track, I’ve basically done every ending I can do except route specific ones (Edelgard, Claude, Hubert, Rhea, Jeritza). I also have ALL the support conversations done between all characters that DO NOT involve one of the 5 characters above...

5th Playthrough

So I finally decided to tackle Golden Deer this time. I chose F!Byleth since I need Claude’s ending. I only recruited the characters that Claude has outside interactions with and focused on a team of GDs. Obviously I was much slower.

I finished F!Byleth’s Claude ending (again no Sothis) in a little over 23 hours. Realizing I still needed Claude’s support conversations with M!Byleth I booted up a new file and played the first 20 or so minutes (until you arrive at your room) and bought Claude’s supports for M!Byleth. I then went back to my file from my first playthrough (SS) and realized I HAD SAVED before the final map...unfortunately the only character I needed from that list was F!Byleth’s Sothis ending so I spent about 20-30 minutes finishing up the last map in SS again to get that.

Total Time in this playthrough: 24 hours

Total time spent in Fe3H: 295 hours

6th & 7th Playthroughs

By now all I need is BE Routes. If I play as F!Byleth, I can finish all 3 S Endings for Crimson Flower. But I still need Rhea’s ending...as both F & M Byleth. So I hatch my plan! CF doesn’t split off until Chapter 11. So, I’ll play BE house, recruit all the characetrs I need to finish Edelgard’s & Hubert’s conversations and then, at the start of chapter 11, I’ll split my save into 2 files. One will go SS for Rhea and the other I’ll then play as CF! Genius! And, if this works, I should be able to go back into a new file as M!Byleth and just play the first 20 minutes & buy the support conversations. This will allow me to finish M!Byleth’s Edelgard, Hubert, and Jeritza (and hopefully Rhea too). Hopefully....I’ve never bought a S-Rank before so hoping this works!

Spent 12 hours in part 1 up to chapter 11 (307 total playthrough hours). I raised the whole team to about level 30 & finished most of their requirements for their master classes. Figured it was easier to do it before the split and then have to not worry too much afterwards....

Decided to finally do Crimson Flower. And it went quick. After only 7 hours I finished Crimson Flower with F!Byleth’s endings for Hubert, Jeritza, and Edelgard. I quickly went into a new game & played the first 10 minutes to access the support logs and bought M!Byleth’s support conversations and endings with Edelgard and Hubert. But Jeritza’s doesn’t exist...until PTS. Which means I’ll need to do an 8th playthrough as M!Byleth in Crimson Flower.....

But for now, I’ll go back and finish SS! All I need is Rhea’s ending...but I have to level up Seteth so he can join the fun! I sped through most of SS...although this bit me in the ass for the final map. Only 5 hours to Rhea ending. Then it was easy to go into a new BE file & buy M!Byleth’s Rhea ending.

Total Time in this playthrough: 12 hours (part 1) + 7 hours (Crimson Flower) + 5 hours (Silver Snow)

Total time spent in Fe3H: - 319 hours.

8th Playthrough

Well, as stated above I can’t buy Jeritza’s supports until they become available which is post time skip.... so I need to do another BE M!Byleth run. I only need to make it to the point where Jeritza joins so just basically to PTS. Given that, I only need to really raise M!Byleth and Edelgard slightly as she’s a required unit on some maps. So speed through the beginning again....for the last time.

NOPE! WRONG! You cannot buy Jeritza’s supports apparently even if you own the counterpart supports ((FYI this works on every other character in the game except for him, so....)) ...so I now need to PLAY THROUGH to the end of CF! This fricking sucks. I now have to grind up the rest of my team (who are all level 20ish) to 40 b/c doing the final two maps with just Byleth is near impossible. Great! Wonderful! Insert another 11 hours!

Total Time in this playthrough: 11 hours...((for those curious this was 5 hours pretime skip & 6 hours post time skip))

Total time spent in Fe3H: - 330 hours!

...and that does it for now....until I decide to tackle the DLC!

But this is FULL COMPLETION! Every Byleth S support done for both genders and all support conversations between every unit done.

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