[Transcript under the cut]

Elsa: hey… sorry for pushing you into telling me about your wound. can i come in? Max: it's your room Elsa: did you get any sleep? Max: nope. i was pondering. Elsa: i think you should try and sleep a little Max: yeah sure. once i'm able to, maybe. Elsa: you look like someone ran you over with a truck Max: …kinda Max: alright, sit down Max: Els, i'm only telling you this because my other option is the loony bin, understood? Elsa: yeah…? Max: i… Max: shit. trembly sigh i… Elsa: hey take your time, no need to rush any- Max: kissed a boy. Elsa: you did WHAT?!?! Max: Elsa. ''the baby'' Elsa: who CARES i need to know how RIGHT NOW Max: we met at the club, i went ballistic and… Max: and- yeah, it was good. we wouldn't have made out for two hours otherwise Elsa is shocked Max: we stopped when his braces got stuck, but after some bickering we just kept going. Max: so… at first i thought ''yeah i'm pretty sure that happens when you kiss anyone'' Elsa: what, exactly? Max: like you just don't want to let go. Max: he actually told me to turn my brain off for the night, and to be okay… i was gone, i don't know why but. i did so. Max: and then we were at it Max: clears throat when we got out of the club i kept telling myself ''this will pass'' you know, that weird light headed feeling. ''no matter how good it was, kissing a dude once doesn't make me gay'' but… Elsa Max: it's been hours and i can't stop thinking about him and i DON'T like this. Elsa: …oh. Max: it has to be like when kissing anyone, right? Elsa: i don't… Max: Elsa i'm-. i'm so scared. Max: i want him dead. i want him out of my head i want to stop thinking about those two hellish hours but i can't Elsa: Max there's nothing wrong in liking boys Max: I'M NOT GAY ELSA Elsa: THEN WHY ARE YOU STILL THINKING ABOUT KISSING HIM Max: BECAUSE I'M GOING INSANE THAT'S WHY [ baby grunting ] Elsa: alright. alright! peace, let's catch a breath. Elsa: tell me about your guy Max: Alejandro. annoying, unfunny, though he reverse pickpocket'd me so i guess… that was cool. i have to admit he was a little charming… Max: tall, freckled. Elsa: huh. Max: what Elsa: nothing. does Lucas know Max: we are NOT telling him EVER, you hear me? we- he just started feeling better again. and we are finally in completely good terms. just- no. Elsa: fair Max: plus, i'm not gay and that's final. i just enjoyed myself that's all Elsa: of course! because french kissing a guy for hours doesnt make you even SLIGHTLY homosexual. do you really thinking kissing a girl would also trigger all this insanity in your little boy lover heart? Max: … Elsa: … Max: Elsa we need to kiss Elsa: NO FREAKING WAY MAN THAT'S SO- i'm telling Lucas you did this to YOURSELF Max: FUCK YOU?? Elsa: FUCK YOU!! Max: FUCK YOU!!! [ baby starts crying ] Max: this is only the beginning Elsa, don't you think i'm leaving without that kiss!!! Elsa: I'M SURE LUCAS WILL LOVE HEARING ABOUT THIS!! Max: EAT SHIT!!! Elsa: YOU EAT SHIT!!! [ BABY CRIES HARDER ]