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dreamcatcher-ranger · 2 years

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@koro-is-caffeinated I've done a dive in the past, I don't even know why, but the potato battery that is my brain gave this to me. So, I hope you'll enjoy

"Wakey wakey! I got groceries!"

"We got groceries. We split the bill."

The voices of the two boys rang surprisingly crystal clear in the dusty hall. The propped up bed was still looming in the shadow, with its occupant facing the closed window. They didn't move of an inch.

Ryan dropped the vegetables-filled cloth bags with a soft thud, sending a carrot rolling on the wooden floor. Steven, carrying a way more voluminous load behind him, mumbled something very unflattering under his breath.

"Aw, come on man, work with me here. I know you like sunlight, yesterday I found you watering the plants."

Here, this may have been an overstatement. Being found fidgeting with an empty glass next to the succulents on the window sill while a puddle of water was slowly making its way around the pots hardly equated to 'watering the plants'. But he was trying his best. Since when Sara brought those little colorful plants to him, the Professor seemed to have gotten better. Ryan didn't know that under all that blue fuzz there was a green (a very, very pale greenish) thumb, but having something to care about could not be bad.

The scholarly streak returned too, he has been found flipping through the pages of José Rizal's diary, and chattering with the succulents, telling weird history facts. Almost like the old times.

It always happened when he thought nobody was around, at first. If somebody was to interrupt, the Professor returned silent. Then, with a bit of patience, if you asked the right questions you could get interesting answers. His knowledge was coming back, hand-in-hand with the majority of his memory, and his taste for jellybeans.

Not for Beef Boy, though.

If the Ryan-of-then had been told that he would miss the lessons at Puppet University, the Ryan-of-then would have laughed it off. The Ryan-of-now instead believed in it. But the Ryan-of-then made mistakes, and the Ryan-of-now was working hard to fix them.

No matter how many death threats he received daily.

Ryan rushed to open the window. The warm californian breeze rushed inside, carrying a vague smell of freshly-cut grass with it. Outside, the skyline of the City of Angels glimmered in the heat. Then he approached the bed.

The Professor, with his unkempt blue hair hiding half his stitched-up face, remained still.

"C'mon, you're not sleeping. You snore when you do."

A golden eye cracked open.

"Well, Beef Boy, I don't snore. Or, I didn't. Not until somebody fed my lungs to a T-rex."

"We already talked about this. It was the Genie who- you know what? Nevermind. We got groceries. Vegetables and meat and other stuff. Oh, and your supplements."

"Talking of supplements, Ryan" somebody shouted from the back. Steven got rid of all the bags, except for one small package, who was still sitting on the floor. He pointed at it, before crossing is arms with a firm expression. "Your job to store them away. Because I am not touching that."

"Yeah yeah yeah, I know. In all honesty, Stevie, it's been years that you know the Professor. And you still recoil at the sight..."

Ryan picked up the box, and then pretended to fling it at his friend.

"...of a dead spider?"

Steven winced away. "Very funny. I remember when you had to catch them with your own hands. You were all squeamish."

"It's not my fault if that blue abomination let me believe that he hunted them! He could have said that he bought them from pet stores since, you know, the very beginning."

A faint wheeze interrupted them, before being cut short by a coughing fit.

"You should be grateful -cough cough cough- I wasn't planning on telling you that. Seeing you crawl around with a glass was too funny."

"He got a point, Ryan. I have to agree with the 'blue abomination' this time." admitted Steven, chuckling at the memory.

"Jellybean for Steven! Beef Boy, I want you to know that I caved in only because you were taking forever to get my snacks."

"Yeah yeah, whatever. Let's make fun of who brought you back from kingdom come, shall we?"

The light in McNasty's eyes grew colder. The other one, smelling the storm in the air, tactically retreated out of the room.

"Ryan Steven- yes, don't make that face, I know your name- 'Beef Boy' Bergara, care to tell me why you had to bring me back from kingdom come?"

"Don’t get this heated, the bandages are coming off-"

"A! An unlucky accident, I ate too much dolphin sushi in one bite and choked on it. Your expertise with CPR saved me."

"CPR? That is so gross-"

"B! That bloody Genie appeared out of thin air and shoved me under a train. You, like in a greek myth, travelled to the Underworld to rescue me."

"Technically it was the Genie's fault-"

"Or C! You were so utterly inept at history that you couldn't manage to win-" "The algorithm was faulted!" "-Not even once, and you chose to sell me to the Genie, and then you reanimated me out of guilt?"

Ryan stood still, the warm wind suddendly ice cold. He felt his muscles get tense with will to fight, his nerves ready to explode. He gripped the spiders' box. Then, like a in a flash, he saw Sara's disapproving stare after the Loudun episode, after that Satan gave him the cup. His head dropped.

"C. C like Cretino." He muttered.

"We got a C Dog in here! Ough ough ough!" He could hear the Professor's mockery echoing in his hears, but not really. All he could think about was how, no matter how hard he tried, he could never deserve forgiveness. He killed somebody, damn it! A fucking insufferable somebody, but still. How do you get back from that?

"...ough- Beef Boy, are you crying?" "No..." 'Not yet' would have been the correct answer, but Ryan wasn't going to tell it to the stitched freak lying beside him. He took in a deep breath.

"I... I am sorry. Again. For everything."

The Professor tilted his head.

"Hmmm... Point to Beef Boy, correct answer! Here, come get a jellybean."

The boy laughed, hoarse, trying to keep in the tears. If he shed some of them, McNasty didn't say anything.

"You- you don't even have a satchel anymore!" "Right, because it is, say it with me... " "In the Cretaceous period." "In the Cretaceous period, correct! You deserve another jellybean."

Ryan plopped on the bed, without saying anything. For a while, they stayed silent, without saying anything, staring quietly at Los Angeles. Then Beef Boy opened the box he was still holding.

"Do you... Would you like some spiders? As an appetizer?"

"Appetizer? Appetizer for what?"

"For wha- Lunch, what else? Who do you think we went shopping for?"

"You intend to make lunch? As in, preparing it yourself? Thanks but no thanks."

McNasty snatched the spiders away from Ryan's hands, incredibly fast for someone with an half-eaten arm. The latter rolled his eyes.

"As in, Steven's in the kitchen."

"Omph" was the comment. That blue monster had already started stuffing his face. "Den if coulf worpf" he garbled with his mouth full. He gulped down. "Then it could work."

Beef Boy got up, before turning to help the other get down.

"You're covered in spider crumbs... What kind of day is it, today?" "Crutches will do just fine, thanks. But why are we going? Do you really want to help Steven cooking?" "No, I want to keep Wheatley far away from knives and fire... Here we go. How are you feeling?"

The Professor swayed just for a moment, then he planted his crutches firmly to the ground.

"Perfectly good... ouch! I didn't thought this bed was this close... I have to get better at having a blind eye. Shall we go? I smell good stuff in the making."

They started going towards the kitchen, from where effectively nice smells where coming. Wheatley's laughter rose up, followed by the Oars' ones and a comment by Bones. Steven yelled something that vaguely resembled "No! Away! It's hot!"

"By the way... how do you know my middle name?"

"Oh, Shane told me."

"Shane?"

McNasty didn't look up. Using crutches required all of his attention.

"Yes, Shane. We chat sometimes, you know. He wanted to know how I am. Unlike you, he cares."

Ryan dodged the bullet. "I thought your existences couldn't overlap"

"Exactly, overlap" The teacher side now was popping back. "We can't meet, but we can see pictures of each other. We can talk about each other. And he recently discovered that we can text to each other. Telephone calls don't work"

Ryan rubbed his eyes. "That fucker... and how recently did he discover this? No, wait, don't answer. He didn't say anything to me. I could throttle him."

"And I could throttle you Beef Boy! So, don't tempt me. Oh, look, what is boiling in the pot?"

"In the pot, nothing" said Steven, focused on slicing tomatoes without slicing Wheatley's fingers. "I am making homemade hamburgers. Do you like hamburgers?"

"Dolphin hamburgers?"

"Beef hamburgers, Professor."

"Shut up Beef Boy, what do you know? But yes, I could accept, for once."

#sometimes self-care is running 10 km uphill in the woods after a storm to flip off a radio tower with lemon demon blasted in your ears #lifetime achievement award rolled up. it's how i've got this idea #i wanted to write a bit of slice of life with the revived professor and even if i started with semi-fluff it turned to angst pretty quick #why am i like this #but anyway; i wanted to explore a bit their relationships #i don't think that they really hate each other. people; even nemesis; don't get in 'thoonk' 'doonk' contests if they truly hate each other #and in the meanwhile the oars got revived too. they're a bit like wheatley's parents if you are okay with that #and the professor has to get daily shots of goo #whoever is reading this; tell me what you think!#and i hope there aren't typos #there will be #i already know #watcher #watcher entertainment #franken!ph #my little scrapbook collection

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