MAYKO NGUYEN Hudson & Rex 5.09 (2022)

I love ‘facing your fears in a dream’ episodes so much, because there’s always good stuff to analyse and I love doing that.

I feel like everyone’s greatest fears are things they’ve talked about but maybe feel like weren’t really resolved within themselves.

Macy - that fear of being abandoned and replaced comes from her own guilt at her unwilling resentment of being the third wheel, that she feels as though she just can’t be a good sister no matter how much she wants to be because she’s just incapable of making that connection. And what scares her more is the idea that Mel and Maggie wouldn’t fight for her. Their mild love and acceptance of her decision to leave for a successful career but a hollow personal life would be terrifying for her. She needs to be assured that her sisters will fight for her, that they’d be devastated if she left and that she is completely a part of this family. I think Macy does know that deep down, but those fears are hard to shift.

Harry was very blank in Macy’s nightmare which goes to show that she really doesn’t know what he thinks of her. He’s never actually said it and Macy needs vocal confirmation because at this point all she knows for sure is that he wants to be friends ... but he keeps going back to Abigael. And when Abigael (who I reckon is Macy’s subconscious more than anything) says that Macy never wanted the whole family scene, never wanted a husband or kids or a big old family home with siblings, she’s probably more speaking to the fact that old-Macy never thought she could have something like that, and so convinced herself she didn’t want it.

The idea that she could be totally removed and no-one would miss her would be terrifying for someone who’s entire life has been one of such isolation. So at the end, when Mel, Maggie and Harry instantly put themselves between her and harm without a thought, was a very sweet and heavy moment.

Mel - out of the PO4 Mel’s fear were the most abstract, but also a deep seated and long lasting one; the fear of being made powerless. In the very first episode she notes that powerful women through the ages have been demonised and called witches and would’ve been very aware through her women’s studies what happened to strong, outspoken, queer women like her back in the day. She’s also the one who connected with Helen the most and probably saw a lot of herself in her, so it would be very easy for her worst fears to be a loss of personhood, loss of freedom and loss of autonomy that would come from being institutionalised.

This is something she had to face head on this season when she lost her powers, as she definitely took that loss much harder than the other two. Mel was always the most pro-witch of the three but had conflated her idea of being powerful with her actual powers, and when they were gone she was left reeling. Even though she had addressed that within herself (when she was a fly, she was talking about how she was powerful no matter what) that deep and vivid fear that someone could so easy strip that all away again never really left her. That’s why she was the first to offer herself as a sacrifice, to show that even without magical powers she still had her own strength of will to face down anyone who might threaten her family.

Maggie - afraid of always being the baby, of never being taken seriously, of never having a partner that sees her as an equal and not just some young, naive  thing that needs to be taken care of. As with Macy, this is something that she has talked about but hasn’t properly been assured that it isn’t true.

In the first season and most likely a lot pre-season, Maggie very much leant into being the baby of the family and considering she was only 18/19 that’s to be expected. She was never stupid or useless, but she did enjoy playing that part (even adopting Harry as a big brother much quicker than the others). But as she’s grown and had to face more and more trauma, she’s worried she won’t be able to shake this persona of the weak damsel that needs to be protected. Even the last words she heard from Parker weren’t addressed to her, but rather to Jordan, another man, asking him to protect her - and while Jordan’s answer that she can protect herself was awesome, just hearing that would’ve made her feel infantilised. Having the most passive powers emphasised that which is why she put so much effort into learning self-defence (and in a meta note I think Sarah Jeffery loves that whack-stick as much as Maggie does!)

The truly terrifying thing is that when people don’t take her seriously, they die. I felt there was even a bit of the seerer Casandra there as well, the one who could see the future but was never believed. So when they’re back in the real world and her sisters believe her instantly when she warns them the monster is going to appear behind them, it just goes to prove that her fears are baseless.

Harry - he’s afraid he won’t be enough. I thought it was interesting that he referred to Celeste as being his own ‘personal Dr Frankenstein’, which would mean that Harry sees himself as a monster even though that’s how he’s been referring to Jimmy the whole season. But it makes sense. He’s gone from believing that he was a good man who died in an act of bravery to discovering that he was an unfaithful criminal who it seems was just randomly selected to be torn in half and made into a memory-wiped servant. He doesn’t see himself as a whole person and doesn't even see himself as even human anymore. It explains his behaviour around Celeste. It’s a big jump from being nervous about even bad mouthing Elders to straight up threatening to stab one in the back.

When he’s sent into the dream he’s strapped to a chair about to be experimented on and tortured - much like how he was created. The dream had his two biggest fears combined; that he will again be used and exploited (much like what Jimmy obviously went through) and that he won’t be fast enough, strong enough or smart enough to protect the Charmed Ones. He does manage to free himself and his declaration that ‘I’m the Whitelighter, it should be me’ just reinforces what they all know, but what he had doubted - that he is enough as he is to save them.

So that’s my jumbled essay. Personal thoughts, of course, so I wonder if anyone else had any ideas? Like I said, love these type of eps, so much food for thought.

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5x04 ob review - 5x05 thoughts

oh boy oh boy oh boyy...what an episode...so much information, pure mythology arc..many questions were answered and a lot more were created after that...so let’s see what we’ve got here:

1.Kira

well it was kinda foreshadowing from the previous episode that kira would cut herself..i like the fact that the writing team took advantage of Kira’s adolescence..she couldn’t have a passive role anymore..after all she’s her mother’s child, curious and radical to learn and to know about herself..

2.this episode was about famliy,family,family

it felt more like a Manning episode rather than a Sarah episode....

Your daughter is struggling on the threshold of what it means to become you

now THAT is a very powerful line, and for me it sets the core of Sarah’s developemet throughout the whole series...

and to be perfectly clear i am really REALLY  worried about Sarah cause she began as a wild self-centered con girl that tried to  take advantage of the situation for her own good and look how far she’s come

she’s gonna sacrifice herself for her family it’s crystal clear to me..that’s what Ms S would do and that’s why their relationship was so important in this episode, apart from mythology and storyline reasons...

3.Sarah-Helena

the twins will be the center of the mythology, this photoshoot wasn’t random at all

Kira and the miracle babies...the monkey stuffed animal and the scissor..the heart connection

they feel eachother

sarah, helena and on the background pictures and paintings of what it means to be a family

Apart from how beautiful this scene was there was a lot of symbolism in it

-miracle babies

-like you& me

oh god i really wish i wouldn’t worry about Sarah so much but it’s painfully obvious where all of this is going...

Helena was ‘killed’ once and i don’t think Sarah will let her get hurt ever again..Rachel and PT are after the babies..there’s possibly gonna be a confrontation in ep 7 (the rachel episode)

(i can’t get out of my head that Helena will name one of her babies after Sarah cause...you know why)

Helena writes her memoirs (which i do believe now that this is what Sarah is reading after Fee’s art exhibition in the 60secs teaser cap)

Also Felix said that his exhibition is in 3 weeks so we vaguely have a timeline for this season...s5 events happen during a month more or less

4. PT, Virginia,Susan

or the old fashioned story of Frankenstein's monster 

PT Leda Castor and moral choices...Virginia was an interesting addition to the storyline even though her survival from the explosion is a little bit absurd..

i liked the fact that Leda Clones were less dehumanized in contrast to the Castor programm..the freaky mansion (the bloody props in the laboratory gave me Bioshock vibes lol) set the atmosphere and got me hyped about the story.. the ‘monster’ on the other hand....well i was underwhelmed from the bald dude, they could have done a better job imo

PT is oblivious about Virginia , he’s not gonna be happy about it when he finds out...i wonder if Ira is gonna protect Susan or not when the time comes..the Rachel episode is gonna be chaotic that’s for sure

5. Cos-Charlotte

i love them SO much...Cosima is always so protective, she’s a natural with kids - and people in general, definitely the most extrovert clone of the basic 4- (also Tatiana is a PRO with kids, seriously i melt everytime)

i hope Charlotte survives all this mess cause i’m gonna be devastated for the poor kid :(

so all in all that was a pretty straightforward episode that was much needed.

-Some things about the MUCH ANTICIPATED episode 5

1.A lot of us (including myself ) have made theories about cosima’s parents and had the Alison centric episode as a guide to how the Cosima one will be. Having seen the 5x5 trailer and teaser i‘ll have to say:

-This episode is gonna be much more heavy case related than we imagined so what i’m gonna say is

2. lower your expectations guys.Have in mind that at least 4-5 scenes will be with Sarah/Kira, Rachel/Susan,Ira/Susan etc...there’s no time for a lot of flashbacks now that they decided to interlace plot with character evolution...Alison was the clone that was the least engaged with the mythology arc that’s why her episode was more standalone-ish. Do not expect the same now

3.Expect angst. The teaser made it clear.We knew that in relation to Delphine/Cos there’s always angst but my estimation is that now things are more tensed  than ever.

4.the fact that we didn't get to see a lot of cophine scenes on the teaser is a good thing.They keep things unseen on purpose. They have already overexposed this episode (-especially the cophine scenes) so it  make sense not to show a lot of things now.

5.Be prepared for strong performances.Keep in mind that a sex scene might be unlikely to happen.Trust me the less you expect the more rewarding the experience will be in the end.Especially if you have a wild imagination.It is way too easy to underwhelm yourself with what if scenarios.

enough with the rambling now let cophine rise XD

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