#same everything except now theyre slinging espresso hold the martini | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tennessoui · 2 years

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today, the instagram algorithm told me that bartenders have a 54% divorce rate and I feel like Anakin from the bartender AU should also discover this information, for the drama. feel free to take this as a prompt if you like!

some guy who really wants to get into Anakin’s pants: I heard you’re married

Anakin: sure AM 🥰🫶😝💘🥵🥹💅🏼💍❤️💞

Some guy: he’s a bartender right ?

Anakin: the HOTTEST 🥵🫦

Some guy: cool cool well just know that when y’all divorce, i’ll totally be your rebound.

Anakin: we’ll never get divorced ever ever ever you know how long it took me to convince him to marry me??

some guy: well yeah, but like. i read that bartenders have a 54% divorce rate. those odds don’t look that good, huh. not implying things. but do your own research. more than half. damn.

anakin: 😧

(later that night, with obi-wan, wrapped around his husband like an octopus)

anakin: so have you ever like. thought about a career change?

obi-wan: lol a career change ? what would i even do??

anakin: find religion and become a clergyman.

obi-wan: what.

anakin, kicking three tonnes of research about the clergy having the lowest divorce rates at 17% under the bed: nothing. maybe a coffeeshop?

obi-wan: what.

#asks #bartender au #i dont think anakin can brat his way into obi-wan not being a bartender anymore #but he can probably brat his way into fucking on the bar top to give obi-wan something to think about #whenever he sees the bartop again #which will of course stop any silly notions of infidelity which obi-wan might otherwise entertain #but lol imagine if anakin got his way and obi-wan shuts down the bar to remodel it into a coffeeshop #same everything except now theyre slinging espresso hold the martini #the clientele remains the same too lol

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