#sadly while I wasn't rushed this time I did intend to use the remaining days i had to revise the visuals framing and diologue. so I'm not | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hournites · 3 years

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Since it's your birthday & you've been such a fixture for me as I wandered into the Stargirl fandom, I offer: TW for pregnancy/related issues.

For a while, it seemed like it wasn't going to happen.

Not that Rick was a pessimist, but he didn't like to get too excited about things that became increasingly obvious that they weren't going to happen… the only times that he could be a little more optimistic about things that looked like they weren't going to work out was when it came to Beth.

It was one of the harder portions of melding their lives together. He wanted to simultaneously be there for her all of the time, while maintaining the fact that she probably wouldn't want or need him forever. Now, Beth never gave him the impression that this was a fact. Rick just accepted it was.

Whenever they first kissed, when they became an official couple, when they "casually" decided to get married… all of those milestones had been approached with extreme enthusiasm from Beth, and while Rick was honestly grateful, a portion of him wondered if it was because Beth was so upbeat and caring that she didn't know for sure that she wanted these things and just believed in the moment.

He didn't constantly doubt her. He just wasn't always fully convinced that they weren't setting themselves up for ultimate loss and heartache.

So, whenever Beth announced her first pregnancy, while everything inside of him wanted to celebrate the elation that moment caused… he felt a surge of panic. That the test might be wrong. That something might go wrong. Miscarriage statistics were terrifying. Black maternity deaths were ridiculously high. SIDS was too mysterious to be so common. He celebrated the news with her, but the guy was scared shitless.

Beth was aware, but she always had something reassuring to offer with the occasional bad news. "Miscarriage statistics are terrifying, BUT I have as much information as humanly possible to try to avoid it and if it still happens, I can safely recover and we can make attempts later.. Black maternity deaths are ridiculously high, BUT we knew that before I ever got pregnant, and Chuck and I have set in motion for me to have the utmost in healthcare that I have access to, AND he'll be here to fill in solutions to any problem that might arise. SIDS is tragic no matter who experiences it. If that kind of misfortune befalls us, we'll need each other to cope with it. So… I've got you, and you've got me, right?"

She'd squeezed his hand and kisses his cheek, and he shrank away from wondering what if none of that helped? What if they did everything right and it still went wrong? She didn't need the stress of that, and her smile always buried those fears anyways. Still… he did glance at the dirt and know exactly what lies beneath.

And they struggled. Beth, in fact, didn't bring her first pregnancy to term. Her upset wasn't as simple as she'd previously thought, either. Therefore, Rick went into full protection mode, making sure he lifted her up while she was navigating the loss through not only the disappointment she hadn't been prepared for, but also the hormones rushing through her body from the changes that had been needed. Plus, she was scared now. It was much easier to preach that everything would be okay when it was. When it wasn't...that was harder.

Of course, she bounced back. (Too soon, in Rick's opinion), but she needed to return to normalcy and find her footing.

Rick still escaped to the would-be nursery to work on things. He had been building it and wanted to believe that even though they wouldn't be using it as soon as they thought, they eventually would. He hoped it, at least. He worried about it triggering something within Beth after… what happened, but she got home from shopping one day and said, "Got you something!"

Rick was shoving away the remaining evidence of having been working in the nursery as she set a bag on the counter. He reached in and pulled out, "Baby's First Toolkit."

She smiled and cheered, "To prepare them for a lifetime of putting stuff together with their dad!" He blushed and attempted to apologize for working on the nursery still, but she just added, "You've always escaped loss through creation. You… built your car by yourself because you'd lost… Well, you'll have somebody to build with (in a different way than you build with me), and I want you to know, even though I might not be able to participate in… what gets you through, I'm here for you."

"I should be here for you…"

"You have been. Just remember, we've gone through this. Not you. Not me. We. Us. This is something that took place in our life. Not just mine." She looked at the little toy, "Today would have been their birthday…"

Rick knew that, of course. He just.. didn't think it would be something Beth wanted to get into. She fought off tears and Rick pulled her close. He NEVER wanted her to go through that again.

So when she brought him something else a few weeks later… a positive pregnancy test, he was even more afraid than last time!

Beth's cheerfulness had increased, though. After what happened last time, she felt "better prepared" for everything this time. Now, she had hope and loss, and she intended to use both to usher in a healthy and happy Chapel-Tyler. Rick burst into tears… They were different from last time. His fear was deeper, but so was his determination. He was going to be here for Beth, he just needed to get some things off of his chest, "I don't know if I could take another loss."

She stared at him, sadly but understanding. She didn't know how she'd fare another loss either. The last time took a lot out of her that she didn't know could be taken. But, she had recovered and she believed Rick would too… she didn't feel as confident or comfortable assuring him that it would be alright, so she just said, "I'll help you through whatever happens." Her eyes desperately scanned his face for some sign of relief. Seeing Rick cry always broke her heart.

He took a deep breath. He couldn't put a burden like that on her. He'd have to… just… be okay. Rick cupped her face with his hand and kissed her forehead. "I know you would."

I don’t have any words 😭💜

So much angst but also so much love between them the part where rick burst into tears because he couldn’t take another loss got me. You are so good at giving Rick profound dialogue that is in character and oof. This was so good. Thank you for this and thank you for being you!!!! This was a perfect bday gift 💞

#hournite #rick tyler #beth chapel #fic rec #angst #hurt/comfort #beth x rick

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