zoya no-romance-just-crowns nazyalensky

Where’s my son?

SHADOW AND BONE ⏤ 2.04, “Every Monstrous Thing”

HP ProBook 450 G4 - 15.6" - Core i7 7500U - 8 GB RAM - 256 GB SSD

950€ - HP ProBook 450 G4 - 15.6" - Core i7 7500U - 8 GB RAM - 256 GB SSD General Label 450 G4 i7-7500U/8GB/256GB-SSD/DVDRW/15.6"FHD/W10P WLAN/BT/CAM/FPR Status N1 Product Type Notebook Operating System Windows 10 Pro 64-bit Edition Processor / Chipset CPU Intel Core i7 (7th Gen) 7500U / 2.7 GHz Max Turbo Speed 3.5 GHz Number of Cores Dual-Core Cache L3 - 4 MB 64-bit Computing Yes Features Intel Turbo Boost Technology 2.0 Memory RAM 8 GB (1 x 8 GB) Max RAM Supported 16 GB Technology DDR4 SDRAM Speed 2133 MHz / PC4-17000 - 2133 MHz Form Factor SO-DIMM 260-pin Slots Qty 2 Empty Slots 1 Storage Main Storage 256 GB SSD - (M.2) SATA 6Gb/s Optical Drive DVD±RW (±R DL) / DVD-RAM - tray Display Type 15.6" LCD Backlight Technology WLED backlight Resolution 1920 x 1080 (Full HD) Image Brightness 220 cd/m² Features Slim Design, Full HD standard-viewing angle (SVA) eDP anti-glare Audio & Video Graphics Processor Intel HD Graphics 620 Camera Yes - 720p Sound Stereo speakers, two microphones Codec Conexant CX7700 Input Type Keyboard, ClickPad Features Spill-resistant, ClickPad with gesture support Communications Wireless Bluetooth 4.0, 802.11a/b/g/n/ac Wireless Controller Intel Dual Band Wireless-AC 7265 - PCI Express Mini Card (M.2) Network Interface Gigabit Ethernet Remote Management Protocol SNMP 2 Features Wake-on-LAN (WOL) Compliant Standards IEEE 802.3, IEEE 802.3u, IEEE 802.3i, IEEE 802.1Q, IEEE 802.3ab, IEEE 802.1p, IEEE 802.3x, IEEE 802.1x, IEEE 802.11i, Wi-Fi CERTIFIED, IEEE 802.3az Battery Technology 3-cell Lithium Ion Capacity 48 Wh AC Adapter Input AC 120/230 V (50/60 Hz) Output 45 Watt, 19.5 V Connections & Expansion Interfaces 2 x B 2.0 B 3.0 B-C HDMI Headphone/microphone combo jack LAN VGA Memory Card Reader Yes (SD Card, SDHC Card, SDXC Card) Software Software Included Skype, HP SoftPaq Download Manager, HP Recovery Manager, HP Support Assistant, Bing Toolbar, HP ePrint, HP Hotkey Support, Windows Defender, HP Systems Software Manager (free download), HP Secure Erase, HP Security Manager, HP BIOSphere, HP BIOS Configuration Utility (free download), HP Drive Packs (free download), HP Client Catalogue (free download), HP CIK for Microsoft SCCM (free download), HP 3D DriveGuard Miscellaneous Security Trusted Platform Module (TPM 2.0) Security Chip, fingerprint reader Features HP 3D DriveGuard, HP BIOS Protection, Automatic DriveLock, Preboot Security, SecureBoot, HP DriveLock, Hybrid Boot, Master Record Security, Measured Boot, Power On Authentication, Pre-boot Authentication Theft/Intrusion Protection Security lock slot (cable lock sold separately) Included Accessories Power adapter Compliant Standards CSA, UL, VCCI, BSMI, GOST, SABS, CCC, FCC, A-Tick, ICES, KC, CIT Dimensions & Weight Dimensions (WxDxH) 38.2 cm x 26.3 cm x 2.44 cm Weight 2.04 kg Environmental Standards Environmental Parameters Min Operating Temperature 5 °C Max Operating Temperature 35 °C Humidity Range Operating 10 - 90% (non-condensing) Shock Tolerance (operating) 40 g @ 2 ms half-sine pulse Shock Tolerance (non-operating) 200 g @ 2 ms half-sine pulse Vibration Tolerance (operating) 0.75 g @ RMS (random) Vibration Tolerance (non-operating) 1.5 g @ RMS (random) Read the full article

Guy

Assalamualaikum and hello guys. It's 2.04 am now in Ireland. Teheee late night post seems to be the best thing to do before you sleep haha. Recently, I got news(not really, more like unexpected knowing) about my so-long-lost friend.

He used to be my best friend and obviously, someone who I love to my heart content. It's love, not loved because I still love him but as a friend who wants the best for him. I was trying hard to move on. Try to resolve everything but nah, that was the hardest part. Like me, I'd like to spill everything. What I feel, what I think. I don't mind you knowing. Remember, that kind of actions may not be welcomed by few.

So... I tried okay. Cuma itula, I spilled everything to both parties. Kinda crazy. My "that's it" point.

Now, both are graduated soon. Both are happy insya Allah aamiin. No more harsh feelings. I let you go with the intention of making you happy and content.

My whole summer was spent on anime and self-reflection. What did I do wrong to people? Like why didn't things work out? That sort of dilemma and reflection okay. What I agree with myself is someone you hope to be with might not be the best person for you. For your family. Like himself, his family and mine are in two different worlds. Safe to say, mine is crazy and tough to handle. I'm the eldest and the first granddaughter. What a huuuuuuuuuge responsibility. I'd say, I need someone can reach my family and understand them. Not saying he can't, but yknow, his approach is not approachable enough to my family. Complicated, I know. Then, I think about my close friend and turns out that she is his cousin. Dang. Haha I take it easy and accept that whenever I feel like I need him, Allah has given me a better person to handle me at my worst end. That's his cousin and she has greater approach to my emotional roller-coaster. Such a bless.

That's it guys, know that everyone has their hourglass is one thing. Know when to let go is ONE THING. Time's up. Walk away guys. 

He used to be "the one" but turned out he didn't.

I like how Kak Sab puts the word, "Bila orang ikhlas dengan kita kerana Allah, Allah tunjuk dan kekalkan orang tu." I even like what brgsjk said, "cuba cermin diri kita sebab boleh jadi kita yg toxic dalam hidup org tu dan sebab itu kita dikeluarkan dari kehidupan mereka."

I'd like to think that I'm the toxic one as he tried so much to make me a better person but I failed. I'm so yakin yang dia boleh tampung my emotional baggage but you know what, neither can I.

So what did I do? 

I spent my time with anime and menjauhi that romantic feelings you get from romance genre movie. I was thinking yang I'm so weird. I want affection and love. I have so much to give. I secretly want a guy la to pour my overloaded love ni. Tapi I know I need to learn to love people right and not burden them with my unnecessary emotions. That's very toxic for a guy to handle girl like me. Okay la, there will be someone who can tolerate me but I myself have to learn to tolerate myself. Know when to be rational. Be strong and positive.

Come back to my reflection kan, that's when I think about Hafizie. I was like oh god, I did him wrong. Now, I'm so impressed with him, of how he getting his dreams ongoing, his positivity. My 2017 summer posts are mostly about him. This time around is autumn. I like him better than his 16/17 self. He's more mature and calm. He always calm, at least to me. I think there's time yg he did burst masa mula2 kenal dulu tapi it doesn't affect me sebab I only remember the good things in him. Okay, this is not a confession or whatnot. I'm not easily impressed by people. Now, he's impressive to a point I doubt whatever I feel about him. I want to know his progress, what he does. Like I'm on Twitter, Instagram just to see how's he doing. I'm truly happy when he loves his course or anything that contributes to his dreams. I'm not sure what I'm hoping from this close observation and impression. I cannot talk to people about him as I personally don't know him that well. Like he can point out yg oh faa you never change (in positive way) but I couldn't because I don't remember learning anything about him. That's so sad kan? I took him for granted. He might see this as nothing tapi kita la rasa, rasa jahat.

After spilling this, it's not easy to say I like him or I want him as more than friends or what. Our timeline is not really crossed.. Our last meeting was in 2014... I don't know if it's healthy ke to observe people at this close? I wanna talk to him about this tapi macam pelik la sebab he did nothing. I'm just, maybe, touched by his willingness to tell me his dreams. Yknow, it is a big thing in his life. I feel honoured? (whut faa)

One thing I noticed, my perspective changed a bit towards his passion and positivity.

In a way, it's good. I don't know, I like him as a person. Honestly, I keep saying this (I like him) tapi it's so weird because I always like him. I do also constantly remind and shut myself from liking him in different ways (yknow that lovey kind of feelings) and now, I confuse hahaha. In another word, I don't know what exactly I feel right now. Okay la, I try to figure out what I really feel kan. So I stalked him and see if I ever jealous when he replies to girls or what.

Guess what?

I'm not. I even trust him. Trust him in what basis? I DON'T KNOW EITHER. So freaking weird. I don't know if I can talk to him about this but entahla. I should stop writing. It's 2.56am now. I need sleep.

All the best in whatever you do, friend. All the best for you Hafizie. So much love for both of you, I pray the best of the best for you ❤️

𝕾𝖍𝖆𝖉𝖔𝖜 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝕭𝖔𝖓𝖊 ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ 2 ʀᴇᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ #112                                                                   ↳ 𝟸.𝟶𝟺: 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐

𝕾𝖍𝖆𝖉𝖔𝖜 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝕭𝖔𝖓𝖊 ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ 2 ʀᴇᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ #108                                                                 ↳ 𝟸.𝟶𝟺: 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐

𝕾𝖍𝖆𝖉𝖔𝖜 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝕭𝖔𝖓𝖊 ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ 2 ʀᴇᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ #104                                                               ↳ 𝟸.𝟶𝟺: 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐

𝕾𝖍𝖆𝖉𝖔𝖜 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝕭𝖔𝖓𝖊 ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ 2 ʀᴇᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ #96                                                         ↳ 𝟸.𝟶𝟺: 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐

𝕾𝖍𝖆𝖉𝖔𝖜 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝕭𝖔𝖓𝖊 ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ 2 ʀᴇᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ #99                                                           ↳ 𝟸.𝟶𝟺: 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐

𝕾𝖍𝖆𝖉𝖔𝖜 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝕭𝖔𝖓𝖊 ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ 2 ʀᴇᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ #98                                                           ↳ 𝟸.𝟶𝟺: 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐

𝕾𝖍𝖆𝖉𝖔𝖜 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝕭𝖔𝖓𝖊 ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ 2 ʀᴇᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ #106                                                               ↳ 𝟸.𝟶𝟺: 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐

𝕾𝖍𝖆𝖉𝖔𝖜 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝕭𝖔𝖓𝖊 ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ 2 ʀᴇᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ #107                                                                 ↳ 𝟸.𝟶𝟺: 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐

𝕾𝖍𝖆𝖉𝖔𝖜 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝕭𝖔𝖓𝖊 ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ 2 ʀᴇᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ #111                                                                   ↳ 𝟸.𝟶𝟺: 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐

𝕾𝖍𝖆𝖉𝖔𝖜 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝕭𝖔𝖓𝖊 ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ 2 ʀᴇᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ #105                                                               ↳ 𝟸.𝟶𝟺: 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐

𝕾𝖍𝖆𝖉𝖔𝖜 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝕭𝖔𝖓𝖊 ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ 2 ʀᴇᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ #110                                                                 ↳ 𝟸.𝟶𝟺: 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐

𝕾𝖍𝖆𝖉𝖔𝖜 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝕭𝖔𝖓𝖊 ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ 2 ʀᴇᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ #100                                                             ↳ 𝟸.𝟶𝟺: 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐