#reblogs off because people are being so fucking weird pathologizing
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Hi Tumblr I need to win an argument
EDIT: stop oversharing about your mental illness on my silly lighthearted poll i made to dunk on my girlfriend. you are not cute or charming and you make people uncomfortable. therapy
#wordy wendy#EDIT: you people are freaks#EDIT EDIT: nvm thank fuck#reblogs off because people are being so fucking weird pathologizing#i hate this shit#you are addicted to your identity as a person w depression#you will never ever get better until you learn#to stop identifying with the part of you that is sick and hurting#i did not make this poll about depression or poverty#i am a depressed person living in poverty and this post is not about that#and even if it was#neither of those things are normal#so if your argument is ''im depressed and poor!''#either dont vote. or vote what the fuck.
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Hey!
I was wondering about the difference in SSC and RACK kink approaches… and if I misunderstood something there or if the framing of it has changed since I’ve first came in contact with it 5+ years ago. If you want to check out my tags on the post I reblogged and want to talk about that I’d be curious and happy to chat :) If not, then sorry for the interruption. Wishing you a good day!
Hello, hope you're having a good day, too ☺️ Essay incoming, but there are a couple issues with using "safe, sane, and consensual" as a way to approach practicing kink.
[The tl;dr is that the SSC terminology is subjective and not specific enough to be useful.]
Firstly, it's vague and subjective. What does "safe" mean? I mean, vanilla sex isn't "safe" in the sense of being devoid of any risks. It's all relative; there are risks inherent in any activity, and that just means we educate ourselves about harm reduction strategies (wear a seat belt, use condoms). "Risk-aware" is more useful; it gives you an action to take: consider what you're going to be doing and make yourself aware of the risks involved in the kink you're practicing. Then you can decide if you'd like to do something to mitigate those risks or if you're okay with accepting potential consequences.
"Safe" just sends the message that if you can't make the activity safe, don't do it, which isn't very realistic. People are going to get off the ways they want to get off, but as communities, we can empower people to make informed decisions about their own sexual health without judgement if someone decides they are willing to assume certain risks. I think of it as RACK promoting critical thinking skills about engaging in your kink in the way that works for you, whereas SSC is prescriptive, assuming there's one definition of what "safe" is that works for everybody and that this definition is obvious and that to do kink "right" you have to be making sure it lives up to that definition of "safe."
Feedism and weight gain kink in particular are kinks that typically aren't given the green light under the SSC model in our culture. The Internet is full of tired, boring commentary about "who would ever make themselves fat on purpose, that's insane, you're destroying your health and killing yourself for a kink, get psychiatric help." SSC legitimizes this kind of thinking, or at least doesn't do anything to discourage it.
I'm much less generous about the use of "sane" in this acronym. "Sane," and correspondingly, "insane," are pathologizing and pejorative words used to dehumanize people who experience mental illness/mentally ill people. I disagree with the term "sane" being used in regards to kink in both directions: mentally ill/insane people (I'm using it as a reclaimed word here, hi, I'm mentally ill and insane) are human beings who deserve sexual autonomy, and kink practices should not be pathologized as indicating insanity just because the mainstream thinks they're weird.
I've also seen "sane" used to mean two different things. One is capable of giving consent, but isn't that already covered by "consensual?" And that definition, like you brought up, also often views substance use as something to be avoided, but intox and chemsex are established sexual practices that can be practiced with a RACK approach just like any other sexual stuff. "Sane" is also sometimes used to mean "woah there, let's not get too wild," but, like, why constrain sexuality to things the majority labels as "sane?" Why not get too wild? I would love to get more insane in how I express pleasure in my life! Fuck "sane," give me that risk-aware, consensual, insane shit please 🤲
In a practical sense though, it's another case of what is "sane" even supposed to mean? Some people think anything other than heterosexual post-marital missionary is insane. It's just so subjective that it becomes a useless metric.
Neither "safe" nor "sane" are cases of "you know it when you see it" when it comes to the wonderful diversity and depravity (affectionate) of human sexuality.
All right, now that I've said all that, I'm going to start sounding alarmist here, but bear with me.
A year ago my answer would have stopped there, but unfortunately, we're in the middle of a huge upswing in fascist, terfy, anti-sex purity culture that's been getting a little too real lately in the US (think banning public drag because it's "sexually obscene" with a dash of "but think of the children!", and regardless of the fact that drag performance... isn't inherently sexual performance, we're seeing demonization of non-normative sexuality being successfully used as a vehicle for suppressing non-normative gender expression).
Basically, when SSC leaves off at the vague "safe" prescription, it opens the door to anti-kink arguments of "but [insert kink] is dangerous, that means it's bad and evil!" With the way "kink-critical" arguments are a major way that fascism is making inroads into ostensibly leftist queer spaces, we gotta be deliberate with our language and fight that shit in every tiny (and big and direct) way we can.
"Sane" is even worse with the way the word "degenerate" (literal and actual 1930s German Nazism) is making a huge comeback and being applied to anyone with non-normative sexualities among other groups. So, sorry if this seems dramatic, but tying sanity in with sexuality in any way, and by extension labeling some forms of sexuality as "insane," isn't just a 'well, it's not the nicest way to phrase it,' situation when the cultural context is that freedom of speech and healthcare access are being systematically removed under the guise of arguments that equate and conflate gender nonconformity with non-normative sexuality and insanity.
I'm not blaming SSC for any of this, it just isn't doing anybody any favors in the antifascist department....
As a Mentally Ill, SSC has always rubbed me the wrong way, but it's an extra-special sore spot for me right now!
#I desperately wish concise writing came easier to me I'm sorry 😖#kink negativity#fatphobia cw#sanism cw
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