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serena-waldorf · 5 years

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🏳️‍🌈 pride q&a snagged from @veroniquemagique

❤sexuality: Bisexual baby

🧡pronouns: she/her

💛gender: female

💚relationship status: Single AF sadly lol

💙celebrity crush: Just one? LOL. Jane Fonda, Hillary Clinton, and Nicki Minaj are like the top 3 right now lol. And I guess Drake and Mahershala Ali for men lol. Felicity Huffman used to be in this category but yeah, having mixed feelings about her currently obviously (but she did really turn me on in a horny angry way in the 2 episodes of When They See Us that I’ve watched so far 🙈 Even though the character she is portraying is despicable, lawyer + villain = hot I guess lol 🙈)

💜best friend: Well my BFF forever and ever from high school Lizz, is straight sadly lol but I have another really close friend from high school, K, who is bi as well and so is her sister and her super soon-to-be husband. But K and I and her sister and fiance don’t really talk about bi/queer issues or topics too much.

In terms of a close friendship where we talk about Bi/Queer stuff all the time, then @zestycactus is an amazing friend! She is always there if you need to talk through problems/issues but overall she is just a really nice person, a kind friend, and a fun person to chill with 😊 Gotta give her a lot of credit for helping me to be able to accept my bisexuality a lot more over the past year and a bit, just from our talks and by always being able to come along to queer events or programs with me when able to and for bringing me along to my first one ever over a year ago 😁

Side note: If you’re LGBTQ+ and struggling with your sexuality or even if you’re not and you just want to be around other queer people or make new queer friends, and you have an (LGBTQ) community centre around you with support groups or networks that hold regular meetings and events, I would highly recommend just from personal experience! And if you don’t have access to something like that because I know not everybody does and you ever want to talk, about LGBTQ issues or not and you just want to chat, my ask box and inbox is always open!

💙when did you come out: I must have figured it out for myself when I was 12/13/14, no later than 14 for sure, I was probably 12/13 ish. Then I randomly came out to a few classmates around then on an overnight school trip that year (7th grade). And then came out to a lot of (if not most) friends over the course of high school and kept coming out to friends throughout university. And I have been coming out ever since lol. As any queer person knows, it never ends. I think I only told my mom a few months ago, like almost a year ago now? It was last August/September ish, I’m gonna say? And yeah, still have a lot of coming out to do to a lot of family still but its a “cross that bridge when I get to it” situation, if I ever got into a serious enough relationship with a girl and wanted to introduce her to family but right now, its a long shot of that happening any time soon lololol.

💚first person you came out to: It was over 10 years ago so the memories of that time period are fuzzy but I’m gonna say it was random classmates I was sharing a room with on an overnight school leadership camping trip thing, one of them was a close friend but an on and off again friend (it was a super complicated friendship/situation throughout high school and middle school actually lololol) and thinking back on it, I have no idea what made me come out to them, then and there because I wasn’t really friends with the other 2 girls and one of them was a huge bitch lol. Maybe I just needed to say it out loud to somebody while I was coming to terms with it?

💛first gf/bf: My high school BF from near the end of high school and into most of our first year of university before we called it quits. Meh, it wasn’t the best relationship for a first relationship, it was sweet and nice but it shortly became more of a friendship than a romantic relationship. I won’t go into details here because I’ve been rambling enough in this questionnaire lol (feel free to message me tho for more info if you’re really that intrigued lol) but at least it taught us that we do make better friends than we did BF/GF, I don’t even know if either of us was TRULY interested in the other one or if we were just dating each other for the sake of having somebody while almost everyone else around us in our friends group at the time was coupled up and we didn’t want to feel left out *shrug* I think the latter is true for me tbh as bad as that sounds. But even though me and him have our differences in more ways than one, he is a really nice and funny guy and his mom taught him to treat girls well, even just friends lol and we do still meet up every few months for a dinner or a movie or whatever and its nice to catch up every once in a while with him. (LOL, I still wrote a book in this answer when I said I wouldn’t).

🧡ever had a crush on a straight person: Like all my crushes lol. Even with straight men I’m usually rejected or they are already taken and I had a bad experience with a crush in my last year of university so since then, I’ve just tried not to develop hardcore crushes on people besides little crushes that I know won’t go anywhere. And even though there is one straight friend I will always crush on, I know she is straight and nothing will ever happen lol so I respect that and would never tell her my feelings because it would probably ruin the friendship and I cherish the friendship aspect too much to do that.

❤fallen for a friend: I think I answered this in the last question. YES lol. It’s never ended well for me except for my first BF. I definitely don’t make moves anymore or let feelings be known. But then again, I haven’t had a serious crush on anyone since my disasterous experience in 4th year of university lol. And I talked about my crush on my straight friend in the answer to the previous question as well.

💛best LGBTQ+ friend: @zestycactus , reasons why are listed in the best friend question above. And my best friend K from high school as mentioned in the best friend answer above also, but both being LGBTQ isn’t really a factor in our friendship, its just a coincidence lol.

💚person that made you doubt your sexuality: I don’t think any one specific person ever has but those “How do you know you’re bi?” “How can you be in love with both?” kinds of questions do get tiresome. I don’t really get them aimed at me specifically by any one person luckily but just hearing and seeing those sentiments in general in everyday life or hearing stories from other people is tiresome and annoying. And not so much doubt but I have one straight friend who I love and I know she is just trying to be a supportive friend and ally but she seems really INSISTENT on me dating women, creating dating profiles on dating apps to meet women specifically, she’s always getting on my case about getting on dating apps etc and while I appreciate the support lol and I am more attracted to women than men (and I did express that I would prefer dating girls right now) but like I’m bi, I’m not ruling out men completely yet if I do decide to make dating profiles and I end up clicking with men or one specific guy. I honestly will probably end up with a girl, or I want to see what dating girls is like, but like I said, men aren’t completely out of the equation for me either because anything can happen lol. Life is unpredictable. I feel like if I date men or meet a guy somehow this friend is gonna say something about me dating women and ask why I’m not with a woman and that she thought I wanted to date women etc. So that does worry me about dating men if it ever happens but this friend is very inadvertently pushy in general (in her own weird supportive way lol) so I just gotta roll with it and appreciate the support, and if I end up dating a guy in the future who makes me happy, and she is “upset” or confused or something, I just gotta remind her that its my life, my happiness and my choices at the end of the day.

💙proud of your sexuality: Hell yeah 10/10, I’m so happy to be bi, even though I still have bad days, doubts, insecurities, worries, my questioning periods etc, but the pride outweighs those feelings for the most part most days. And like I said, going to bi support groups and queer events really helped the past year and a half.

💜comfortable with your sexuality: Getting there. A lot better than I was a year and a half ago. I’m getting more and more comfortable and proud every day. I’ve definitely been on a journey for the past year and a half of self-love, mindfulness, weight loss, and just building better habits and patterns in general. Not just in terms of my sexuality but I took a lot of risks this past year and a half and not all of them have paid off yet but even though I have the odd bad day still like we all do, I am in a much better state of mind in general than I was a year ago, 2 years ago, especially 3 years ago. And as I’ve talked about in this questionnaire, support groups for bi people really helped with becoming more comfortable with my sexuality, and helping me to embrace it more over the past year or so.

💙describe yourself: Coffee addict, foodie, pop culture lover (especially movies and TV shows lol), fun-loving, kind, caring, hardworking, creative, silly, great friend

💚LGBTQ+ hero: Idk, Sarah Paulson and Lily Tomlin? I’m sure I could answer this better after giving it more thought but its late.

💛favorite part of being LGBTQ+: The friendships/connections I’ve made in the queer community, both online on social media and in real life through the support groups, queer events etc. Feeling like I don’t have to fit into the neat little heteronormative box. And this is shallow but thank god I was born with the ability to appreciate and love women both physically and intellectually because hey, women are hot af, let’s be real lol.

🧡advice to younger you: It’s okay to like girls, there is nothing wrong with it, being bi and loving women is beautiful. Love yourself some more. You deserve credit for everything you’ve gone through and overcome. You’re amazing and you’re going to do great things with your life, meet and befriend amazing people one day, and accomplish things you never imagined.

❤️do you ever wish you weren’t LGBTQ+: No? Why would I? As Lady Gaga would say, I was born this way lol. I mean yeah there’s hard times, difficult moments, hard things about being queer but being bi specifically carries its own hardships. And like I said, the good outweighs the bad. There’s hard days, moments, questioning periods etc but I wouldn’t change things for the world. Thank God I’m not straight lol. If only for the fact that I love women too much lmao. NGL, I often wonder what its like for my straight female friends who don’t see women the same way I do lol and who don’t see them in a romantic sense if that makes sense. It’s probably a whole lot easier to be straight but I really wouldn’t change things if I could.

#queueing this since this took longer than expected and its late lol #sorry for writing a novel as usual but this was fun!!#pride q & a #pride asks #asks #🌈

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ferryboatpeak · 5 years

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lol i can’t tell if this is a request or an exclamation about what a terrible idea this file name is, but here you go all the same.

the backstory: as someone who enjoys ethically sourced lourry (and uh also the occasion larry blood diamond), i was going to see if i could write a responsible lourry fic. the answer, it turned out, was that i could not. or at least i could not write this particular lourry fic without getting into some larry tropes that are profoundly distasteful to me.

i want the record to show that if this was 2012, this could have been a great fic. i really liked the way everybody slotted into the sytycd universe, and it had a very solid plot, and i wanted the image of louis tomlinson dribbling a soccer ball down the middle of a vegas hotel ballroom floor filled with dancers stretching out. oh well. below is the first bit, which is mostly unrequited zarry. don’t blink or you’ll miss the haylor. i have restrained myself from editing anything, even to fill in gaps or fix things that are now very embarrassing.

Zayn manages to snooze his alarm three times before Harry takes charge.

“Zayn?” The knocking starts out gently, just the back of Harry’s knuckles against the cheap hollow bedroom door. Zayn tucks his knees up and nuzzles the side of his face more decisively into his pillow. “Zayn, I can tell your light’s not on, you’re not even up.”

The knocking intensifies. “Zayn, I’m coming in.”

Zayn rolls onto his stomach and wraps his arms around his pillow as the door creaks open. Harry shakes him by his bare shoulder. “C’mon, get up.”

Zayn makes a pitiful noise intended to emphasize how dark it is outside. He knows he’s going to get up, they’ve worked too hard for him not to, but he’d still like to be convinced. Especially because being convinced means Harry wrapping his arms around him and trying to pull him out of bed.

Zayn puts up token resistance and Harry deposits him on the floor. “I know you’re gonna spend forty-five minutes on your hair before we can leave, so get after it.”

The floor is cold, and Harry’s not wrong about Zayn’s priorities. Zayn casually flips him off and slouches into the bathroom.

Not quite 45 minutes later, Zayn descends the stairs through the dark common room toward the light coming from the kitchen. Harry hands him a piece of peanut butter toast and a paper towel. “C’mon, let’s go.”

“No smoothies today?” Harry’s generous with his morning smoothie ritual, whenever anyone else in the house is awake and in the kitchen for it, which is mostly never. Zayn thought today might be his day. If any day warrants a smoothie, this is it.

“Not gonna run the blender at this hour,” Harry says, and it feels right even though the blender never wakes anybody up anymore. The house is quiet in a whole different way this morning. Three o’clock’s different when you wake up to it than when you fall asleep to it. Even the chirp of the locks on Harry’s battered Honda seems unusually loud on their silent street.

They’re on the freeway in record time, barely a red light in their way. Zayn considers going back to sleep, but looks over at Harry instead.

It ought to feel strange, doing this with Harry instead of anyone else in the crew. Zayn’s been dancing with everyone else for far longer, a couple of them ever since they were kids taking their first hip-hop lessons together. Others are dancers they met through the competition circuit as teenagers, or in college, or when someone’s LA orbit touched their own long enough to synch up.

Not Harry. A year and a half ago, Harry had been nothing but a new roommate. Their rundown house doesn’t have any advantages besides its large, high-ceilinged common room, but for the crew, that’s everything. For four years, Zayn’s led the constant hustle to make rent, cramming seven rent-paying bodies into five bedrooms. The crew’s big enough that there always seems to be someone ready and waiting to move in whenever a spot opens up. But Jaden moved out to live with his girlfriend right when everybody else in the crew happened to be settled elsewhere. So they’d posted on craigslist and hoped for the best.

When Harry came to check out the room, he’d tripped on the stair with the loose piece of carpet. Zayn caught him by the arm and hauled him upstairs, where Harry blinked slowly at the small dim available bedroom. In the kitchen, Harry stood with one hand on his elbow and the other on his chin, inspecting the scuffed countertops and beat-up electric range.

Zayn, meanwhile, inspected Harry, and decided he’d quite like to have Harry’s broad shoulders and cryptic tattoos and messy curls in the bedroom down the hall.

Zayn warned him that the house was a gathering place as much as a residence, that it would feel like more than six roommates most of the time, that he’d have to put up with late-night practices and arguing about choreography and the same song playing over and over so that the crew could perfect a routine.

Harry’d just smiled slow and easy and said, “Sounds like fun.” He’d moved in the next day.

Turned out it wasn’t strange at all to have a roommate who wasn’t part of the crew. Somehow, Harry made himself fit. After a few days of walking through their practices on his way to his room, Harry’d sat down on the stairs and draped his orangutan arms over the railing while he watched them. The next day he asked about a trick, and somebody taught him a move or two. A month later he tagged along for a Saturday of busking and appointed himself the hype man. Somewhere along the way he picked up enough choreography to weave himself into the fabric of the crew.

His integration was helped along by his status as good luck charm. Since he’s been around, the crew gets more money in the hat, more prominent gigs, more hits on their YouTube channel. Harry was the one a producer approached after they performed at a festival last summer, slipping him a business card and giving him an LA smile under blunt blonde bangs and cat eyes. Harry’d assumed she was flirting when she told him about So You Think You Can Dance, but when he emailed the address on the card, she ignored his suggestion about getting a drink and sent back a PDF of audition information. Told him to share it with the rest of the crew.

Harry had texted him. do u know so you thnk you can dance?

yeah so? Zayn had watched the show for years, partly for choreography ideas and partly just because.

what is it

dance show. ?

Harry didn’t answer, but Zayn came home from work that evening to find him curled up on the couch with his laptop, bony feet tucked underneath him. “Heyyyy,” Harry smiled at him, tugging his headphones down. “So I’m watching some So You Think You Can Dance stuff.”

“Yeah? Like what?” Zayn dumped his bag in the corner and slid in next to Harry, pressing into Harry’s shoulder to see what was on the screen. It was a YouTube video of Twitch and Alex Wong. Zayn stayed pressed up next to Harry while the red line along the bottom of the screen ran out the last 30 seconds of the routine, the music echoing faintly from the headphones resting around Harry’s neck. “That one’s a classic. Have you watched Twitch and Cyrus yet?”

Zayn took over the laptop then, and only after a few more greatest hits did he remember to ask about Harry’s sudden interest in the show.

“I think we should try out.” Which was a ridiculous thing to hear from someone who’d been dancing for all of a year, and watching the show for all of twenty minutes. But Harry goes for what he wants, up-front and unashamed about it. Zayn prefers to approach things from the side, like prey, expecting them to run away if they notice he’s interested.

“We who?” Zayn had thought about auditioning over the years, but never cared enough to follow through. It never felt like such a longshot was a good enough reason to get out of bed that early.

“You and me.” Then Harry explained about the email from the producer. “So do you want to?”

Zayn demanded to see the email, and Harry pulled it up on his phone. It was short, professional, and came from a fox.com email address. Everything about it, including the signature block, looked legitimate. Zayn felt a flutter of possibility. It was the closest anyone in the crew had ever come to somethinng official, something big. Figures that it’d come to Harry.

Then he scrolled down to Harry’s come-on, and laughed. “You hit on her, and she asked you to audition?”

Harry shoved him. “Well, I didn’t know! Why would she come up to me for that? Everyone else was right there.”

“Harry, that means you should try out.” Zayn shoved him back. “We were all there, and she chose you. You have to be the one to do it.”

Harry’d set his jaw stubbornly. “I’m not doing it alone.”

“Jesy, then. You already partner her. We could come up with a routine for you.”

“No.” Harry shook his head, and then leaned toward Zayn, eyes locking on his with purpose, with intensity. “I want to do it with you.”

And that was it, that was all Harry had to say. They did a shot of vodka and filled out the audition paperwork, and the next day Zayn was on the phone to his old studio, bartering for a couple of sessions to fine-tune their choreography and clean up some of Harry’s worst amateur habits.

Paul had laughed dubiously when Zayn explained, but after he saw Harry dance, Zayn could tell he got it. Whatever magic Harry has, the thing about him that grabs an audience and won’t let go, Paul saw it too. “You guys might just do this,” he told them after a couple of hours, and Zayn let himself start believing it too.

With Harry around, it seems like anything’s possible. As they slide into an easy parking space on the empty pre-dawn streets, Zayn can’t imagine being here with anybody else.

The queue is already starting to form, but they’re close to the front, behind a clutch of blonde teenage contemporary dancers who look like they’ve been mass-produced by a single Utah studio. They’re all in some variation of rolled sweatpants and shearling-lined boots. In less than fifteen minutes, Harry charms his way into a share of the plaid blanket that three of them have draped over their laps.

Zayn stays standing for a bit, watching as dancers filter toward the theater and join the queue. As the line increases, so does the nervous energy, and so does the number of black-clad producers. They patrol the line, squawking radios clipped to their waists and cameras trailing in their wake. Zayn feels inspected.

When the sun’s up and the line stretches to the end of the block, a producer approaches the front of the line. As she gets closer, Zayn recognizes her as the one who approached Harry at the festival last summer.

Harry pushes his hood back and smiles beatifically up at her, or maybe at the camera by her side. “Taylor! Hello!”

“Harry, glad you made it.” She extends her hand, and Harry clambers awkwardly to his feet to shake it, plaid blanket falling forgotten behind him.

Harry beckons Zayn closer. “This is Zayn, from the crew.”

Taylor gives him a mildly interested smile. “Are you and Harry auditioning together?”

Before he can answer, the Utah blondes are on their feet, edging their sharp elbows into the conversation. Harry introduces them all. Zayn marvels that he can even tell them apart, let alone that he’s learned all their names.

“You all up for dancing a little?” Taylor asks, and the blondes are expanding into a loose circle before she’s even finished her sentence, urging the next few layers of the line forward to join them.

It’s Zayn that Harry drags into the center of the circle with him, though, grinning at him bright as the sun and starting a clownish combination of moves that’s more of an inside joke than a proper routine. Zayn falls into step easily -- it’s always so easy to fall in step with Harry, easy as obeying gravity -- and it’s easy to smile right back at him too. He’s really here, he’s really doing this, and he’s doing it with Harry. Harry drapes an arm over him as they fade back into the circle, ceding the center to a blonde who kicks

The circle breaks up when the cameras swing away, following Taylor toward a dancer in a red tracksuit with an Adidas bag slung over his shoulder. He’s weapon-pretty, compact and dangerous, cheekbones and jawline like a set of throwing knives.

Zayn prefers beauty that’s approachable, arms to wrap around you and hair you can get tangled up in.

“Who’s that?” Harry asks, and Zayn’s heart sinks a little at the note of interest in his voice. Harry likes challenges, things that give up their secrets in response to his patient attention: complicated recipes, Scrabble tiles, breaking down a new piece of choreography. And when the whole world falls in love with you, nothing’s a bigger challenge than a rare person who seems like he won’t.

#hahahahahaha ohhhhhh my god #sytycyd lourry

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