#quality time with ur robot dog ! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rosesanthology · 3 years

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Senobia (5 star) :

Banner name : "a captain's ambition"

Weapon name : "sea divider" which comes in a set of dual claymores

Attack : freakishly fast physical strikes of both claymores at once except the 5th strike is a heavy one (the claymores combine into one)

Special attack : seno gets close to whatever opponent is near and inflicts hydro with a heavy strike of both claymores

Ult : the claymores combine and she does a spinning hit that summons a wave that can hit up to 5 surrounding opponents (4 waves at C6)

Passive talents : increases space in ur inventory, increased mora drops from mobs and no hydro damage can be taken (as well as wet status cant be afflicted) during the ult

Special dish : i have no clue what her special dish is but whatever she makes increases physical attack pourcentage

Kasto (4 star) :

Weapon name : "princess guard" a geo claymore

Attack : she spins in circle like xinyan if u hold the button but once stamina bar depletes she jumps up and spawns a huge crystal from the ground (sending the opponent flying upwards)

Special attack : traps ennemies in crystal for a few seconds and does damage (time increases with constellations)

Ult : creates a pretty strong shield while a rain of crystal falls around her and inflicts damage on nearby opponents

Passive talent : does it count as a passive if I say that she is naturally able to break the geo hypostasis's pillars in 2 hits at C1

Special dish : she can't cook im sorry

Michi (5 star) :

Banner name : "honor of the tengu" where he has a stupidly low rate of dropping unless u complete his story quest first

Weapon name : "cherry blossom blade" which is a katana with porcelain like decorations on it (also has a low drop rate unless story quest completed)

Attack : FAST FUCKING PHYSICAL ATTACKS WHERE HE JUMPS AND DODGES OUT OF THE WAY BY HIMSELF

Special attack : immobilizes up to 3 opponents in cherry tree branches and michi gets a shield that buffs his attacks

Ult : he goes into something similar as the demon mode of the dual blades from monster hunter ? He can't take damage and he can stand on moving branches that run over his ennemies (controls similar to fischl's oz)

Passive talent : u get a double of every flower u pick up no matter the region and he buffs everyone's attack

Special dish : salmon skewers that give u pyro res and buffs crit damage :)

Agnar (5 star) :

Banner name : "the snow leopard of snezhnayan"

Weapon name : none. He comes with his own ice polearm.

Attack : all of his attacks inflict cryo damage and he switches between physical attacks with his fists and elemental attacks with his polearm at random

Special attack : a bit like geo traveler u can aim at ennemies and drop a giant icicle on them that explodes and inflicts cryo damage after 5 seconds

Ult : summons a giant ice leopard that steps on nearby opponents (disappears after animation)

Passive talent : he isnt affected by sheer cold, his crit rate goes up with his attack combos, im sorry but if u put childe or kaeya in the team with him his number of normal attack will decrease (he'll hit less times and slower for the same amount of damage per hit)

Special dish : his own version of the pile em up dish except he makes the steak into a soup with ACTUAL has vegetables in it (stares at diluc)

Mei Lan (5 star) :

Banner name : "eery music of qingyun peaks"

Weapon name : "tales of ancient liyue" which is his fan that acts as a catalyst

Attack : his physical attacks are some of the weakest in game because he doesn't like to move a lot but basically he uses his fan a bit like a sword (throws it at opponents sometimes and it does multiple hits while spinning)

Special attack : sends water blades with his fan and legs (by hitting the ground) which has wayyy higher damage and also inflicts the wet status, it also acts as a mode like childe's blades so he'll only do that until it reaches cooldown

Ult : if his special isn't activated he'll summon a giant fish skeleton that will get rid of 2 opponents at C0, if his special is activated the area he's in floods and the opponents gets dragged under the water (99% crit success rate except he loses hp during it)

Passive talent : when mei lan is in ur party mobs dont see u unless u directly engage combat, rare liyue mobs drop rates are also boosted (u can get 4 star artefacts from hilichurls), BUT if u have wuxiang he'll have a lower drop rate on his banner and lower base stats

Special dish : absolutly nothing. He can't cook he will burn everything u give him and it'll actually decrease ur stats. He gives u food poisoning basically.

Wuxiang (5 star) :

Banner name : "immortal antique shop owner" where he has a drop rate of 40% if u have anything that belongs to mei lan or mei lan himself (he's annoying)

Weapon name : "dream of glaze lilies" which is his catalyst

Attack : fast cryo spells if u hold the button or if u spam it he'll just start hitting ppl with his hands which also does more damage

Special attack : summons a shield and throws ice shards at opponents

Ult : the surrounding area and the opponents gets surrounded by a prison of ice flowers (it doesn't affect wuxiang) and the opponents get cryo damage overtime but hitting them into the flowers just instantly kills them

Passive talent : if u have mei lan on the team he'll just randomly stop attacking sometimes my bad, same talent as xingqiu where when u purchase books u get double of them, also increases artefact quality and can pinpoint every book for the archive on the map

Special dish : he also can't fucking cook but his special dish is his version of adepti's temptation called "suspicious tempation" where the stats u get from eating it are randomized,,,,,the crit rate is still good but anything else could decrease

Junko (5 star) :

Banner name : "beast tengu of loyalty" where he has increased drop rate if noburu or noburu's weapon is in ur team

Weapon name : "destruction of timeless battles" which is his polearm

Attack : slams and swings his polearm around like a madman and it creates a mini explosion everytime and it inflicts lasting pyro damage EXCEPT he's so reckless he burns himself too so his hp decreases slowly

Special attack : he switches to pyro talismans and can make 2 big fire tornados that can mix with junko's cryo only

Ult : transforms into a big dog for a while and mauls everything near him inflicting pyro damage

Passive talent : natural cryo res he can't get cryo damage unless he's straight up frozen after being inflicted wet

Special dish : konpeito,,,,,but with like chili powder on top and it gives him increased pyro damage,,,,he's crazy im so sorry

Noburu (5 star) :

Banner name : "beast tengu of knowledge" where he has increased drop rate if u have junko or junko's weapon

Weapon name : "voice of trials" which is his scythe

Attack : noburu spins his scythe 3 times around slowly and them plants it in the ground fast on the 4th strike and inflicts lasting cryo damage

Special attack : can dash for 10 seconds and leave a trail that inflicts cryo damage (very slow cooldown tho)

Ult : transforms into a big snake for a while and can either bite (inflicts cryo and poison damage) or choke ppl out u choose

Passive talent : 70% drop rate on his banner if ur team is all girls when pulling for him and increased crit rate and running speed when the same condition is met

Special dish : ice cream mochi from cryo slimes that give u increased crit damage and crit rate and increased cryo damage

Ada (5 star) :

Banner name : "the fallen monarchy"

Weapon name : "incarnation of thorns" which is their sword

Attack : in normal attacks she just hits with the umbrella mode of her weapon while inflicting electro damage (very high base elemental mastery)

Special attack : just like childe she van switch from umbrella wacking mode to sword mode where her speed and damage increases

Ult : her sword turns into a bow, the sky darkens and she just summons thunder as an arrow and can inflict damage on a whole group of ennemies

Passive talent : mobs can disengage from the fight without reaching 0 hp and still drop loot (she scares them off basically), if jean in the team she gets increased everything

Special dish : its rose flavored black tea that heals all of ur health no matter how low ur hp is :))

Jiahao (5 star) :

Banner name : "death will come before graduation does"

Weapon name : "a cat's paragon" which is his shotgun <3

Attack : it works like any bow user so he has normal shots and charged shots that make more damage just that his is pyro damage

Special attack : it locks onto up to 3 opponents and fires at high speed without the need to aim (so more like a rifle then a shotgun)

Ult : he just calls over up to 6 (3 until he's at C3) of his flying robot turrets that keep firing at the opponents (so u can switch characters and still have the turrets)

Passive talent : once u find all the volumes of a book series u can get 3 blue fates, and drops from ruin guards/hunters/graders are drastically increased and can be exchanged for other materials during his character event

Special dish : his own version of the fullmoon egg dish thats just ridiculously spicy and as a result it heals u fully and boosts ur attack as much as bennett's ult <3

Najma (5 star) :

Banner name : "oathkeeper, promise of the fool" where he has an increased drop rate by 50% when u actually go to his spot in game🙄

Weapon name : "celestial arcana" which is his personal tarot deck that acts as a catalyst

Attack : he throws cards into a circle at his opponents while levitating and inflicting electro damage, when the circle is completed every opponent in it will take an additional electro strike

Special attack : they'll pick a major arcana card at random and it'll manifest into a mascot that will distract and fight opponents while inflicting electro damage (exemple : he pulls the wheel of fortune and a wheel rolls around inflicting damage)

Ult : they do a 3 card pull and with each slam of the card on the ground opponents take increased electro damage and if they're still standing the cards in the ground will buff any other character's crit rate and damage

Passive talent : increased luck at quite literally everything whether it be drop rates with mobs or weekly bosses or gacha pulls, when mona is on the team they get extreme luck and won't take damage during the first minute of every fight

Special dish : they're vegetarian so they make their own version of the satisfying salad which is also mona's go to dish because they are simply besties

Claire (4 star) :

Weapon name : "crucifix of doom's messenger" yeah :) thats his sword

Attack : claire will either do a succession of sword slashes if u spam the button or do pirouettes and cast a series of ribbons of water toward the opponents

Special attack : up to 3 opponents are trapped into water bubbles and take damage

Ult : its called "odette's death" and he spawns water wings that close in on groups of opponents casting massive hydro damage, at C6 his ult changes and the area changes into a performance scene where they can't fight and all of his attacks get a massive buff

Passive talent : u don't take fall damage if claire's on ur team, he doesn't eat a lot so he can't get healed often with food because he'll be full in one dish

Special dish : meringue that buffs ur defense so u take less damage

Loki (5 star) :

Banner name : "make sure to get an autograph" where they have 80% chances to drop because they're an attention whore

Weapon name : "official fanclub lightstick" just a magical girl staff that acts as catalyst

Attack : alternates between anemo spells that do crazy damage or just beating opponents up with the lightstick and it gives hp to other teammates

Special attack : extra fast combo where he summons 4 blades of wind that hit groups of opponents

Ult : does a cute pose and sends opponents flying in one group except they start beating them tf up with big anemo cat paws

Passive talent : they're cute they don't need to bring u anything. If Barbara is on the team they'll make more damage, if diluc is on the team they'll make more damage except for every wack of the lightstick thats supposed to heal, diluc looses hp

Special dish : sugar cookies with their face and autograph on them that heal u and give anemo damage bonus

Brynja (5 star) :

Banner name : "vocare hostem veneno" (call of the poison foe) where his drop rate depends on the first ending u got on his hangout event

Weapon name : "annihilator of the forsaken" which is his sword

Attack : heavy. Attacks. They do the most physical damage while inflicting lasting poison damage and on the 5th attack brynja hits the opponent with a wheel of fire

Special attack : its a magical attack where they send a wave of poison at their opponent (if u do it in grass the grass will die in the direction it takes)

Ult : sets fire to the whole era who matter the type of ground and their attacks get buffed, the opponents can't leave the fire zone and get lasting damage of everything

Passive talent : brynja can teleport anywhere without the need of a waypoint and at night their attacks get stronger, at C6 u unlock astaroth's power for 2 minutes when brynja dies and he can one hit most opponents, if put in a team with xiao he will get the effect swirl on most of his pyro attacks

Special dish : vanilla fudge that heal :))

#bye i spent like 3 hours on this and now im sad ny characters arent canon

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sabazio · 5 years

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idk people are doing it i wanna do it. wishlist rps.

taken from my things I never knew I wanted tag

lets get the akimitsu shit out of the way

i-pretend-to-be-your-boyfriend-but-now-we’re-seriously-considering-it trope. consider also this post. or that she has to bring him to her charity balls so she doesn’t get hit on the whole time.

wing... manning. junpei, ryuji, yukari who cares. points if it’s a 3way.

her??? meeting his parents?? idk i had an outline of it but i can’t find it now. h-hey (adopted) mom and dad i dislike but im obligated to come home once and awhile and also this is my (girl?)friend i mentioned. she’s the ceo of--

her fiance?? can i just have mc’s social link replaced by akihiko thanks. punches a hole through his car window just to flex :)

giving her away..... on her wedding to someone else :)) as long as she’s happy i don’t mind.

we kinda already did it but motorcycles. more yatsu. more mitsuru geeking over a quality bike, more akihiko jealous of it getting ridden more than him

mitsuru symbolically cutting her hair. more intimacy.

oh this spy au :)

ill also take some steamy akimitsus ngl. ill make them myself idgaf. ill fight my own ass in the desert.

middle school sees. first time persona summoning. baby’s first (real) dark hour.

the regular stuff:

“i had to be ur fake boyfriend/girlfriend bc some creep was hitting on you and it was making you uncomfortable and now i have busted knuckles and a cut lip but hey are u okay” au

I just!! want junpei!! talkin about man stuff. man talk. talking about girls. being emo. fighting? a goddamn fist fight with junpei. even banter would be fun. I love junpei.

fuuka!! see first bullet point? also bonding over....... bad?? food?? maybe he’s just got an iron stomach and doesn’t mind her cooking. gardening? idk fluff is good.

aigis!! she says she works with his training regimen in the game so... training together. aigis in the answer! FIGHTING AIGIS IN THE ANSWER. she’s always asking to help him and they’re really good friends and i love their good cop/bad cop dynamic. she also says in arena she’s gonna help him with his class schedule so uh robot roommates. please give me robot roommate.

honestly i want more hidetoshi. ill figure it out.

royalty retainer au thing that people keep talking about??

that mafia au @souvere mentioned 30 years ago. akihiko as the kirijo dog. the right hand man. ill take a mfing yakuza au give me that shit.

the gritty stuff:

the twilight before march 5th and after january 31st. everything is as it should be: they all got their wish for a mundane life. their personas aren’t realized, the dark hour is gone. and yet… something is missing. there’s a blank in the memory. things that should be there, aren’t. people they once risked their lives for are strangers again despite living in the same dorm.everything is nostalgic; everything has a sense of déjà vu they can’t place.

bad end au. SEES watching society crumble around them and the end of the world as they know it. day after day witnessing more and more people just turn to zombies or cultists. they have to survive on their own.

i had a tlou au for whatever reason. just give me akihiko taking care of frail little miki and having to mercy kill her bc she’s infected. l-laughs.

#things i never knew i wanted #;ooc

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rattlung · 6 years

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Play It Again Pt. 2

uuuuhhhhh here we go again sorry. I wrote this all in the span of two ish days? so if there’s a shit ton of errors lemme know. also, if you want to read it on ao3 because that’s ur jam, you can do that here

enjoy! or don’t im not ur dad

The sun was as it should be in the wasteland; high in the sky with an intent to kill rather than sustain. McCree squinted at the brightness, using a hand to shield his vision as he transitioned from Doc Amari’s low-lit home to the harsh burn.

The town, Goodsprings, wasn’t much. It was a decent size, but only because the occupied houses were few and far in between, the rest of the buildings crumbling husks from a time before him. The ones still standing looked about ready to join them when the next hard wind rolled by, what with the recent-looking patchwork and lopsided foundations. Still, they had a stubborn quality to them, something that was mirrored in the people McCree caught sight of milling about. No one smiled when they looked his way, but they were friendly enough; quaint like their town.

Goodsprings was not the place one expected to get murdered, that McCree was sure of.

Gravel crunched underneath a single tire, drawing closer to where he stood on Doc Amari’s doorstep. The figure approaching him was shadowed at first, as it had its back toward the sun, but McCree didn’t need much of his eyesight to distinguish the bot. When it wheeled to a stop at the foot of the walkway, he was able to make out the cartoonish features of the grinning cowboy on the bot’s screen. He’d never seen a unit like this one, he was sure, but before he could question it a voice emitted from the bot’s speakers.

“Howdy, partner,” it exclaimed, it’s southern drawl more pronounced than even McCree’s. “Might I say, you’re lookin’ fit as a fiddle.” McCree could do nothing but stare for a moment, watching the bot roll back and forth to maintain its balance in near awe. When the silence droned on for too long, the bot spoke again. “Ooh, maybe not. Well, ‘least you’re on your feet, partner, that’s all you coulda hoped for after the deviltry you were in.”

“Beg your pardon - sir," he apologized, adding the last part in an awkward haste. “I ain’t never seen a robot like you before, is all.”

“You haven't? Well, I'll be! I’m a Securitron, RobCo security model 2060-B,” the bot told him, sounding far too pleased with himself with the chance to relay that information to another. “If you see any of my brothers, tell them Victor says howdy.”

McCree nodded once with an easy grin. “I’ll be sure to do that, sir. Do you know where I’d find the town’s saloon?”

“Well, sure, friend.” Victor made a swift, two-point turn to face the road behind him and gestured toward it with one of his long arms. “Just follow that there road and it’ll be the last building on your left.”

“Much obliged.”

“Plannin’ on havin’ a few drinks before you leave?” Victor asked conversationally when McCree made no move to follow his directions. “Reckon you’d be on your way to find the rascals that shot ya, didn’t expect you to stay in town much longer.”

“That’s the plan. You wouldn’t know anything about them, would you?”

“Just that they’re a shady lookin’ bunch. I was out for a stroll when I saw ‘em at the ol’ bone orchard.”

McCree felt his brow furrow. “You were there that night?”

“Sure was,” Victor confirmed, voice as cheerful as ever, like they weren’t discussing McCree’s attempted murder. The strange tone of the conversation had McCree feeling uneasy but anything the bot knew was valuable, so he asked him to continue. “I heard ‘em causin’ a commotion, but I laid low since they had numbers on me. They ran off after a time, so I got to dig you up and see if you was still kickin’. Turns out, you were, so I hauled you off to the Doc right quick.”

So it was Victor who had initially found him in his grave. McCree had been under the impression that Amari had been the one to drag him out despite never being told so. “Well,” McCree said. “‘Spose I should be thankin’ ya for saving me.”

The bot waved him off. “Don’t mention it! I’m always ready to lend a helping hand to a stranger in need.”

“You’ve been more than a help, Victor,” he assured him. “I’m gonna make my way over to the saloon now, but it’s been a pleasure speakin’ with you.”

“Happy trails,” Victor responded in kind before rumbling back down the road.

McCree watched the dust trail he kicked up in his wake and frowned. It was odd, he thought, for any robot to be rolling around in a small town like Goodsprings, let alone one as strange as Victor. There was a chance he could belong to one of the settlers, built and maintained by a person with time on their hands. McCree looked around him again at the Bighorners and the farmers tending to them. No, they were not the industrial type of folk. He didn't think Victor was any type of dangerous, or else he doubted he'd still be rolling around town, but there was something curious about him.

=+=

McCree found Hana Song where Doc Amari said he would: in the back of the Saloon leaned up against a dingy pool table. He nodded politely at the woman behind the bar and made his way over to the girl, but only barely crossed the threshold of the back room before a deep snarl held him in his tracks. An impressively massive dog slunk from around the table, head low and teeth bared with its wide eyes locked right on McCree. He grimaced at it; he didn’t want to have to kill a dog.

“Meka, stay,” the girl commanded. The dog immediately withdrew, and even lolled out its tongue, appearing like a totally different creature from the one that threatened him a moment ago. Hana offered him a smirk, which he guessed was meant to be apologetic. “Don’t worry. She only bites when I tell her to.”

He raised a brow but otherwise kept his expression neutral. “Well, that’s good to hear. Doc Amari sent me after you, said you’d help me get by in the desert,” he explained, still keeping one eye on the dog, Meka, but only because she was sat at an odd angle to gnaw at an itch on her leg.

Hana nudged her to get her to quit. “Yeah. There’s a some things I could probably teach you. After getting shot in the head, there might be a few things you’d need help with,” she laughed.

“There sure is, miss.”

“Meet me outside behind the saloon, then. I gotta go grab something.” She whistled shortly, grabbing the attention of Meka, who’d continued to pester with the spot on her leg. “C’mon, Meka.”

McCree followed her out back, but stayed behind as instructed. He leaned against the fencing and tried to ignore the way his fingers itched for something to do. Was it unorthodox to ask a doctor for a pack of smokes? Maybe there was a store he could visit before it got too late.

With no desire to let anxiousness jitter his bones, he immersed himself with the Pip-Boy on his wrist. It didn’t take long to get used to the constant weight of it like he thought he would, and it was relatively easy to get the grasp of. He transcribed the note Doc Amari had said she found on him while he waited, as paper didn’t tend to hold long during travels. It was the only tangible piece of evidence that tied him to the woman who'd shot him besides the scar itself; too important to have ruined.

He read it over carefully, hoping to find some clue as to why someone would try and kill him for what he had been carrying. It seemed horribly insignificant of a package to be worth stealing. It was oversized for a poker chip, yes, but it still wasn’t a great amount of platinum. There were more valuable materials to pillage in the Mojave. McCree was sure it was the caps in the job. He remembered it was the reason he took the job as gladly as he did, and the 250 cap bonus upon delivery was the metaphorical wax seal. Except, McCree thought, the woman didn't seem short on money, unless she made a business of murdering couriers on the job for their pay, which he would have heard about. There had to be a reason for his attack, but no matter how many times he read over the delivery order, he couldn't put it together.

Hana and Meka returned with a crate full of empty bottles and an extra rifle. The glass clinked together when she dropped them by McCree’s boots and she shouldered off the rifle, handing it to him without preamble. “A 9mm is only going to get you so far in the desert,” she explained, and then proceeded in balancing the bottles on top of the fence. “It’s not much, but it’s something.”

She wasn’t wrong; the rifle was not much at all. It was practically held together by duct tape and McCree could tell it was prone to jamming just by looking at it. He had dealt with worse, though.

Once enough bottles sat in a precarious line, Hana stepped back a good three yards and beckoned McCree to follow. “Go ahead and take some shots. For me, it’s always easier to aim when I’m crouched; gets you steady and all. The sights might be a bit off, the gun’s probably older than me but - “

She jumped slightly when three of the bottles popped to pieces at a rate that few could manage with the busted old varmint rifle. After blinking, she turned her gaze slowly to McCree and regarded him with a raised brow, like she was ensuring it had been him to shoot the bottles and they hadn’t just been blown off from the wind. “Why didn’t you just tell me you knew your way ‘round a rifle before I set up all those and went on my spiel?”

“Didn’t wanna be rude, miss.”

“Well, what does that make you now, after wasting both of our time?” She smirked again, her tell that she didn’t intend for McCree to take her seriously. “Tell you what, to make it up to me, why don’t you help me clear out some geckos at the watering hole? There’d be caps in it for you, and some more practice with that rifle.”

=+=

The geckos weren’t much of a scare. Hana explained that they weren’t a rare occurrence, either. The creatures looked to be about waist high and awkward on their feet, but they moved quick enough by the looks of it. Their teeth were probably the worst about them, but McCree didn't expect to let them close.

Hana splashed some water onto the dirt when they’d been hugged close to a rock just in front of the nest, dipping two fingers into the new mud and drawing two, reddish streaks across each of her cheeks. “Alright,” she said, raising her own gun, looking as giddy as Meka at the opportunity of action. “You take the first shot.”

Unbeknownst to McCree, she had kept score of how many of the oversized reptiles they’d downed each. She let him know, when they reconvened at a nearby campfire, that he had lost by a five ‘tile gap. By then, the mud on her cheeks had dried, so it cracked and chipped when she grinned at him. “Don’t worry, I’ll still pay you, even if you lost. Nobody’s beaten me before, anyway.”

Hana Song wasn’t odd by the Mojave’s standards, but McCree wouldn’t think of her as unforgettable, of that he was sure.

The sun had sunk low by the time they made it back to Goodsprings; less people out and the roads were warmly-lit from oil lamps set in the windows of homes. Victor still rolled around, busy with trekking up the hill with a windmill and wooden crosses sat atop it. McCree watched him as they walked.

“That’s Victor,” Hana said when he stopped responding to her idle conversation with his one-worded answers.

“We’ve met.”

“Odd, ain’t he? Trudy says he’s creepy, but I don’t know. He doesn’t do anything.”

“Where’d he come from?”

She shrugged, “No one really knows. People say his owner used to live here, but we don’t know if they died or just left him when they ditched town.” McCree grunted. Hana seemed satisfied enough to change the subject. “I’m gonna head back. If I missed anything good on the jukebox, Meka would be pissed. You should stop by. Trudy would chew me out if she knew I didn’t send you her way; she likes meeting new people.”

“Sure thing, miss,” McCree said.

The door to Prospector Saloon swung open when they made it to the entryway, crashing loudly against the siding of the building. A man stepped out, cursing thickly under his breath, but his mouth snapped shut when he caught eyes with Hana. He glowered, but mostly withered under the girl’s hard stare, and McCree raised a brow at him. He was dressed like he was ready for a fight, heavy padded vest strapped to him, but upon closer inspection, McCree thought he must’ve already been in one. There were stains on his pants, rich and dark; blood. He didn't seem to be the Goodsprings type.

The man hurried passed them, holding their stares uneasily until his back was to them. He continued down the street briskly, and McCree just barely made out the N.C.R.C.F. printed in bold, white letters across the shoulder of his riot vest.

Hana scoffed and shook her head, looking irritated by the encounter. Before McCree could ask her what exactly had happened, she practically stormed inside the saloon with a quick, “ Good luck, McCree ”, Meka at her heels.

Once he had collected himself, he made his way inside, shutting the door behind him. The same woman was behind the bar still, looking a little miffed herself. She was straightening her short, cropped hair in a huff, but there didn’t appear to be any evidence that there’d been a real scuffle. McCree decided he wouldn’t bother her further on broaching the subject of the man; based on her and Hana’s reaction to him, he was not well liked. That was enough for McCree.

She seemed glad for the distraction, because the tenseness in her features eased a little when he took a seat at the counter. “You’ve been causin’ quite a stir,” she told him, more of an accusation than a statement. “Glad I finally got to meet you,” she added on anyway. “Name’s Trudy, welcome to the Prospector Saloon.”

“Thank you kindly, ma’am.”

“Don’t mention it. Can I get you anything?”

McCree opened his mouth, but the request of beer got caught in his throat. He wouldn’t call himself exceptionally knowledgeable in the medical field, but even he knew that drinking wasn’t the smartest thing to do a day or two after getting shot in the head. “Nuka-Cola,” he said, “if you got it, ma’am.”

“Sure thing.”

The bottle she served him wasn’t cold, and it was flat like most cola one would find in the wasteland, but it was as refreshing as anything. He laid down the two caps for it on the counter and sipped from it slowly, enjoying the music that drifted in from the back room. Trudy sighed, still looking weary, and slid an ashtray from the other side of the bar closer to her, pulling a pack of cigarettes from a pocket in her dress. She flicked at a rusted flip lighter and sighed again at the first drag, seemingly out of relief this time. McCree watched on enviously as the smoke curled around before her before it dissipated.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Trudy said, starting to back away. “It’s probably rude of me to smoke in front of you after the injury you had, isn’t it?”

He doubted that a little secondhand smoke would affect whatever healing process was left for him. Drinking was different, it did something to the brain. Smoking was just the lungs. That’s what he told himself, at least. “It’s only rude if you don’t share, ma’am,” he said back, mostly joking but a little hopeful.

Trudy laughed, lucky for him, and offered him the pack, which he took from, then her lighter. He thanked her, breathing in the stale smoke. It was good, but the taste was off, something that didn’t have to do with the age. Still, it held him over, and his shoulders felt less stiff.

“Speakin’ of my injury,” he started, ashing off the cig into the tray, “I’m trying to track ‘em down, the men who shot me. I was hopin’ you could help set me on my way. Know anything about ‘em?”

“Not much, other than they’re a bunch of freeloaders who expected free drinks out of me. I got them to pay, though.” She smiled a little, smug, but it turned sour in the next second. “Of course, one of the Los Muertos did knock my radio to the floor by accident .” She rolled her eyes, leading McCree to believe that that wasn’t the case at all. Mournfully, she eyed the radio on the counter behind her. “It hasn’t been working since.”

McCree furrowed his brow in solidarity of her mood and set his cigarette between his lips, gesturing toward it. Trudy handed the radio off to him and watched absentmindedly as he popped the back casing off and began to fiddle with it. “Who’re the Los Muertos?”

“As far as I know, they’re enemies of the NCR. Don’t know too much, they mostly stay in their territory up in the northwest. The two that was with the fancy woman, they were probably just hired guns.”

McCree grunted. “They didn’t say where they were goin’, did they?”

“They seemed to be havin’ some kind of argument about it, but the ringleader - fancy girl in the checkered coat - she kept shushin’ them.” Trudy looked up in thought, tapping her cig on the ashtray rhythmically. “From what I remember, it sounded like they’d come in from the north through Quarry Junction. If that’s the case, I can imagine why they didn’t want to go back.”

“Why’s that?”

“The whole area is full of critters that just get pissed off if you shoot ‘em. People treat it like it’s radioactive - which it probably is, for all I know.”

After making sure everything was secure with the innards, McCree slid the casing to the radio back in place and flicked it on. Frank Sinatra’s voice crackled from it before the frequency settled, his notes coming out smooth. Trudy smiled at it happily, taking it from McCree and set it back in its spot on the counter. “So where were they headed?”

“I didn’t hear exactly,” she said “but the leader was talking about the Strip. If she wanted to get there and avoid the 15, she’d have to go east. Take Highway 93 up.”

McCree finished his drink and thanked her, leaving with a few bottles of Nuka-Cola on the house for the fixed radio. Once back out on the porch, he pulled up the map on his Pip-Boy and found the stretch of road he’d have to walk to find his way to the woman in the checkered suit. He hesitated before he powered down the screen, then flipped on his own radio.

He set off under the stars, the tinny, rumble of a man as his only company on the road.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our program. This is Mr. New Vegas, and each and every one of you is wonderful in your own special way. I’ve got news for you. Troubling news from Primm, as merchants report a large presence of armed and unsavory figures patrolling the town. Residents are nowhere to be found. More news for you: A package courier found shot in the head near Goodsprings has reportedly regained consciousness, and has made a full recovery. Now that is a delivery service you can count on. That’s the news. This is Mr. New Vegas, filling in for Mr. New Vegas. Mojave, mo’ problems.

Am I right?

this was meant to be a series of one shots. I’m not exactly sure how I’m planning on keeping this going but it’s for sure going to be a slow burn lmao

#mcgenji #jesse mccree #genji shimada #kon's a writer

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potterblogs-blog · 7 years

Text

ok y'all have been sorting pjo characters into hogwarts houses which would be nice if you were doing it right

it’s great that you’re trying and all but the thing is, I find a lot of them following the same pattern:

All the demigods are automatically in Gryffindor, because they’re super brave. Octavian and Ethan Nakamura and Clarisse and all sorts of people the fandom doesn’t like are obviously in Slytherin because, you know, Slytherin is hella evil. Then we’ve got the stuck-ups in Ravenclaw and the background characters in Hufflepuff, ‘cause apparently it’s the potato House.

Since all this is hella stereotypical and not at all correct, I was like, well, what would I do? Well hERE IS THE ANSWER ASSHATS

*bill nye voice* please...cOnSiDeR tHe FoLLoWiNg

Percy is a hella Hufflepuff, no denying it, not one bit. He doesn’t care about a position or nothing, he is just a pure Hufflepuff inside and out.

Let’s talk about some major Hufflepuff qualities here:

• Dedication (yo my boy percy is pretty dedicated to the camp and to staying alive am i right i mean he was literally not at all tempted to join kronos’ army like ever soo yeah. also. consider a thing. have u even read the books. if they are a smol bean and he has met them at least 15 mins ago u bet ur lil ass he’s dedicated)

• Patience (percy has not decapitated a SINGLE god on purpose and they all keep coming back, i mean it’s bound to happen someday but CMON YOU GOTTA ADMIRE HIM FOR THAT. literally so patient. even by ADHD standards and its ok u can ask me i have ADHD but that’s beside the point back to percy now)

• Loyalty (it’s his freaking fatal flaw wtf else do you want from him??? to jump into tartarus out of loyalty to his girlfriend??? you do one wrong thing to percy’s friend and he will mESS UP YOUR SHIT LIKE A TRUE HUFFLEPUFF DON’T EVEN PRETEND HE WON’T. remember nancy? I THOUGHT SO. FIRST FEW PAGES OF THE SERIES. AND IT ONLY GETS BETTER)

THAT BEING SAID: ALL THESE THINGS ARE DEF PRETTY IMPORTANT TO PERCY OKAY

Conclusion: HELGA HUFFLEPUFF IS HAPPY THAT SHE HAS SUCH A HELLA HUFFLEPUFF IN HER HOUSE WHERE HE BELONGS.

Don’t try to tell me my girl Annabeth is a Ravenclaw because she ain’t no Ravenclaw get outta my face and let me lay down some FACTS here

LOOK AT THESE SLYTHERIN/ANNABAE TRAITS

• Cunning (we all know what this means so lemme just throw down some hella rad SYNONYMS because those are just the bOMB DIGGITY: we got crafting, scheming, designing, and calculating rn. YOU KNOW WHO IS ALL OF THOSE THINGS? MY GIRL ANNIE. FIGHT ME. I GOT ANNABETH ON MY TEAM AND SHE WILL SLAY YOU WITH HER CLEVERNESS AND DECEIT BEFORE SHE EVEN TAKES OUT HER DAGGER. SHE TRICKED ARACHNE INTO WEAVING HER OWN DEATH TRAP FOR ZEUS’ SAKE)

• Resourcefulness (lil bby annabeth ran away from home in SAN FRANCISCO when she was SEVEN and met luke and thalia in RICHMOND which is in VIRGINIA. SHE WAS SEVEN AND SOMEHOW WENT FROM THE WEST COAST TO THE EAST COAST. GOTTA BE RESOURCEFUL FOR THAT. also remember that time when she broke her ankle, scolded it, then made a cast out of bUBBLE WRAP? BECAUSE I DO. AND THEN THE WHOLE WEAVING A BRIDGE THING. DANG GIRL.)

• Ambition (don’t deny it this girl’s fatal flaw is pride and those two things are connected aS SHIT. SHE’S SO INTENT ON BEING AN ARCHITECT THAT SHE GOT THE GODS TO GIVE HER A JOB REDESIGNING MOUNT OLYMPUS AND THATS A BIG ASS THING IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF. reminder that this girl had the chance to get away from a sphinx but she challenged it instead because it was sorta insulting?? who else do we know is like this?? oh yeah fUCKIGN SLYTHERINS)

ANNABETH BAMF CHASE HAS ALL THESE QUALITIES AND SHE KNOWS IT. THAT’S WHY SHE USES THEM TO HER ADVANTAGE SO OFTEN.

Conclusion: SALAZAR SLYTHERIN SAYS ANNABETH CHASE CAN SLAY HIS BASILISK ANYTIME THAT’S HOW PERFECT SHE IS FOR THIS HOUSE.

LEMME TALK TO YOU ABOUT A THING HERE. A BIG THING. AN IMPORTANT THING. JASON IS A RAD LIL RAVENCLAW BOOGER AND HERE’S WHY. THERE ARE A WHOLE LOTTA RAVENCLAW TRAITS BUT IMMA GIVE YOU 3.

• Wisdom (yeah annabeth’s mom may be the goddess of wisdom but if jason wasn’t wise then how the heckity heck would he have survived long enough to be made a freaking PRAETOR. also you know what fight me. jason is the equivalent of a giant dog that is a floofer and goes boof and loves small children but that has nothing to do with wisdom anyway he is one of the smartest out of the seven)

• Individuality (yeah that’s a thing go ask my girl JK. if jason isn’t so Original™ then explain to me please how he restored the Fifth Cohort to awesomeness?? he was a total badass who didn’t take any shit and turned it around for the whole cohort that’s how. this lil boi is an individual yis. one might ask how can one be a badass but also be a fluffball? well jason did it so stop asking ok)

• Acceptance (we are talking about the official mom friend and the founder of the nico di angelo protection squad what else do you want him to do, hug mother earth??? he wrote the song you’ve got a friend in me because he loves everyone)

SEE HERE: JASON IS A TOTAL DORK NERD WHO POKES PIPER AND GOES “PIPER. PIPER LISTEN TO THIS THING I FOUND OUT TODAY. PIPER ISN’T IT AWESOME”

Conclusion: NOWHERE ELSE IS WHERE JASON GOES. HE WEARS THE RAVENCLAW DIADEM TO ALL OF HIS CLASSES. FIGHT ME. ALSO THE GREY LADY BC HE MAKES HER COOKIES AND SHE LOVES IT EVEN THOUGH SHE’S DEAD AND CAN’T EAT THEM.

Consider yourself a thing. Consider all of the Gryffindor Piper things. JUST CONSIDER THEM.

• Recklessness (subtle reminder that Piper used her charmspeak to fuckign steal stuff even though she knew she would get caught. also consider yourself some other things. remember when she anNIHILATED A FRICKIN GODDESS WITH HER IMPULSIVENESS BECAUSE YES. remember when she and anniebell had to do the thing with the stuff that was all about feelings and shit but lil orphan annie over there was totally lost and all like “this is hella illogical” and pipes was just all “we just gotta dO THE THING ANNABETH” and it was total badassery bc it’s the reason i live)

• Bravery (this girl went on her first quest like a week after she found out she was a demigod and would probably die a painful death bUT DID SHE STUTTER?? nah. REMEMBER WHEN SHE SCREAMED AT A CROWD OF ANGRY ROMAN CHILDREN WHO WANTED MURDER BECAUSE JASON GOT HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A BRICK AND SHE HAD TO PROTECT HIM??? BRAVE. went on her first quest knowing that her dad was probably gonna die and did all the things to make the giants angry and plan a rescue??? BRAVE AF.)

• Chivalry (HELLA amazing friend because she’s just sO GENUINE AND KIND and you know that if someone hurts you she will CUT THEM WITH HER SUPER BADASS KNIFE THAT GIVES PEOPLE NIGHTMARES. stands by jason ALL THE TIME especially when he needs her and actually everyone can count on her for all of the things.)

SO: IF YOU DON’T THINK PIPER IS HELLA BRAVE THEN YOU ARE VERY WRONG MY DEAR FRIEND.

Conclusion: Piper would have defeated Voldemort by year 2 but sadly she was not the chosen one. GODRIC GRYFFINDOR SAYS HER FACE SHOULD BE PERMANENTLY ENGRAVED ON HIS SWORD SO THAT THE LAST THING THEIR ENEMIES SEE IS THE CUTE AND UNFORGIVING FACE OF PIPER MCLEAN.

On the subject of Leo: This child is a Ravenclaw through and through no evidence needed but jUST IN CASE I WILL TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE STUFF.

• Creativity (we are talking about a smol bean who makes tiny helicopters and stuff that actually works WHEN HE IS NOT EVEN LOOKING AT WHAT HE IS DOING OR PAYING ANY ATTENTION TO IT. remember how this child saw a terrifying bronze dragon that everyone had tried and failed to tame and just went “sweet, imma grab that so we can ride off into the Canadian sunset”??? yeahp. remember when apollo needed a thing so he just casually freaking iNVENTED A BRAND NEW INSTRUMENT LIKE IT WAS NBD??? I DO. BADASS)

• Originality (leo practically becomes famous for his abilities to come up with plans that are so ridiculously original that nobody figures out what’s happening before it’s too late and if that’s not good enough for you then idk what is. allow me to raise you the cyclops incident, right next to the robot eidolons thing plus that whole fiasco where he fuckign died, also did i mention the valdezinator or the fact that he was the only person to ever figure out how to return to ogygia?? this kid is a mechanical engineer already and he’s 16 im pretty sure baby eight year old leo sat through calculus classes at a local college and got the best grades tbh)

• Wit (leo is the master of comebacks and rash two-minute ideas that actually end up working like damn son this is a purebred Ravenclaw right here lemme just appreciate this. also hey remember that time where he got launched off of a flying ship and was hurtling downwards at a very alarming rate because you know that’s what happens when you fall and he literally actually built himself a working helicopter so that he wouldn’t die all while free falling from probably at least a few thousand feet in the air like damn son)

AS A FOOTNOTE: LEO CAN RIVAL ANNABETH IN KNOWLEDGE I MEAN HE IS A MECHANICAL ENGINEER WHAT MORE DO YOU ASK FOR

Conclusion: Leo and Jason share the diadem. Leo gets it on mondays, wednesdays and fridays and Jason gets to wear it on tuesdays, thursdays and saturdays and on sundays they surrender it to the marble bust of Rowena Ravenclaw in the Ravenclaw Tower who says that LEO DESERVES TO BE IN RAVENCLAW EVEN MORE SO THAN YOUR AVERAGE STUDENT COME AT ME BRO

ok well hazel is somehow both my child and my mom so I’m not exactly sure how that works but anyway hERE ARE ALL THE REASONS THAT HAZEL IS A BEAUTIFUL, BADASS SLYTHERIN.

• Cunning (hey y'all remember that time with the cliff and the turtle and the feet?? terrifying huh?? yeah girl slay!! hazel will trick you and manipulate you and you won’t have any idea it’s happening until you’re being gobbled up by your own gargantuan pet sea turtle. Slytherins are also known for achieving their ends in any and all ways and all i could think of was how my child actually literally fuckign died so that she could stop the rise of acelonywhatever and the whole time she was 13 and staring death and gaea right in the frickin face and she didn’t give any shits at all)

• Resourcefulness (let’s talk about that time when hazel was “captured” by the amazons and basically had nothing so she did the only logical thing which was drown them in massive piles of jewelry from the warehouse and make them beg for mercy, also there was this horse thing that nobody could touch and she just casually goes “oh just a sec lemme summon a giant gold nugget that was probably at least a mile into the dirt because how else would it be this big” and he loves her and she rides him into victory. did i mention that hazel is my mom?? this is just one (1) of the sUPER RAD RESOURCEFUL THINGS that hazel manages to pull off)

• Ambition (hazel both believes and knows for a fact that she can literally do all of the things and she never once doubts herself like at all because she is AMAZEBALLS LIKE THAT. SHE WAS 13 AND THE AMAZONS WERE ALL LIKE “DANG GIRL WE WANT YOU ON OUR TEAM” and she was like “i got this huge to-do list but nbd i’ll get her done” like she is pURE CONFIDENCE AND. YES)

Also: SHE’S TOTALLY SUPER COOL WITH ALL THE THINGS AND IS NEVER FAZED. THAT IS MY GIRL.

Conclusion: HAZEL LEVESQUE IS SLYTHERIN AF AND WILL ALWAYS ACHIEVE HER ENDS NO MATTER HOW MANY GIANT SEA TURTLES SHE HAS TO FEED YOU TO. SALAZAR SLYTHERIN FRICKIN APPROVES AND THINKS THAT SHE IS JUST AS TERRIFYING AS ANNABETH.

Not gonna deny that my lil noob Frankie's a tRUE PURE-HEARTED GRYFFINDOR. THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD AGREE WITH ME.

• Chivalry (WE’RE TALKING ABOUT A CHILD WHO WILL TRIP OVER HIS OWN FEET AND PUNCH HIMSELF IN THE FACE IF IT MEANS HE’S SHOWING RESPECT TO YOU. my dude doesn’t care who you are, he will literally always show you respect until he’s given a reason not to. everything he eVER DOES is because he’s PROTECTING SOMEONE or he’s GETTING A LIL BIT OF PAYBACK and if that’s noT A GRYFFINDOR THING THEN DAMN SON YOU SHOULD REALLY SORT OUT YOUR PRIORITIES)

• Bravery (if you’re going to come into mY HOUSE and tell me that FRANK ZHANG ISN’T BRAVE then feel free to hit yourself in the face with a hammer because guess what losers?? this kid loses his mom and then his gma just goes “oh by the way you’re half god and you have a gift that you need to figure out for yourself and also here’s this piece of wood, don’t burn it or else you will actually die, now go with this pack of fuckign wolves to camp so that monsters won’t attack you and you won’t die, plus when you get there you have to beg forgiveness for this thing that your great grandfather did or else they might literally murder you. have fun” and frankie just rOLLS WITH IT AND KICKS ASS WHILE BEING A CUTE LIL CHUBBY BUNNY. LET’S NOT FORGET ABOUT HOW HE COMPLETELY OBLITERATED A WHOLE CITY’S WORTH OF MONSTERS to appease a stupid ass god and save nico and hazel from being forever plants and he gets back and trippy is absolutely terrified of him because omg he’s glowing red and he actually did the thing and oh also he kind of scared me so much that i sort of forgot i was a god and had power over him)

• Nerve (let me repeat how FRANK ENOUGH NERVE TO THREATEN A GOD WITHOUT EVEN THINKING OF THE CONSEQUENCES. I’M SO DONE WITH THIS. THIS IS MY SHIT THANKS. PLS APPRECIATE FRANKIE YOURE ALL BREAKING MY HEART. Also remember how he entrusted his real actual lifeline to somebody who wasn’t him like daaang boi that is so pure)

Additionally: FRANK ZHANG IS THE REASON I AM ALIVE AND WELL. ALSO REMEMBER HOW HE BECAME PRAETOR?? I DO BELIEVE THAT IS THE MOST BADASS WAY ANYONE HAS EVER BECOME PRAETOR PLEASE AND THANKS

Conclusion: GODRIC GRYFFINDOR CRIED WHEN FRANK WAS SORTED INTO HIS HOUSE. GODRIC DOESN’T THINK HE EVEN DESERVES FRANK. FRANK CAN HAVE 4 OF HIS SWORDS.

THIS HAS BEEN A THING. A THING WITH HOUSES AND PJO. I HOPE THIS WAS ENTERTAINING AT LEAST. THANK YOU KINDLY.

#pjo #harry potter #hogwarts #hogwarts houses #percy jackson #annabeth chase #piper mclean #jason grace #hazel levesque #leo valdez #frank zhang #here is a thing #this is the thing #learn from it #yall are stupid

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bellamysgriffin · 7 years

Text

dana watches lucifer (2x11)

yo guys i’m back and i’m vvv happy to be liveblogging again

it feels so weird to be watching without my dad guys he’s driving my sister to oklahoma but usually we watch together

anyway

this clip of chloe saying her speech at the courtroom on the previously on - LIKE I NEED REMINDING

it’s making me emotional and the ep hasn’t even started yet

pls tell me they kiss i want them to so badly

my cat is strangling me with her love rn and i’m.... trying to type

“i hate ketchup” that’s so romantic

ARE YOU KIDDING I HATE MYSELF THEY WERE SO CLOSE

“i’m glad she showed up she kept me from making a big mistake” I’M SUING FOX AND THE WRITERS WHAT THE HELL

trixie is back i missed her

“they’re a wonderfully scrumptious start to your day”

ok now i’m imagining maze and trixie grocery shopping

trixie Knows and ships deckerstar

trixie KNOWS

MAZE I MISSED YOU SO MUCH MY FAVE I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

i missed that whole scene by squealing abt maze lol

maze craves validation bc she wanted chloe to be happy

aw chloe maze tried so hard don’t tell her that

it’s ok chloe i forgive you

CHARLOTTE no

i’m already mad at her

my tv is glitching so y’all better provide some quality gifs

“it’s about chloe” and then instantly he turns into Protective Boyfriend™

ok charlotte ships deckerstar too and she’s back on the good list

she was nvr really off it i have a weakness for lucifer women

“you don’t have to prove anything to me” that was something very nice said very harshly

“not in a fun way”

“not the slut police and i mean you not her” DAMN I LOVE CHLOE

hmmm that was a good plan while it lasted but

“jana! always with the tragic timing”

oh my god is lucifer a murder suspect again

“maybe she’d still be alive” and already he’s feeling guilty jesus i just want him to be h a p p y

also where is ella i want her on my screen right now

“ditch the loser from lux. that’s terrible, she was seeing someone else from lux?

maze is proud of herself dan leave her alone

my cat is back and ready to prevent the typing

danikeen - is that their brotp name?

ppl need to stop yelling at maze right now ok

i like his white suit a lot

her fun is being with her daughter aww

ok lucifer is actively pursuing a relationship and i - i’m emotional

“she’s spoken for” “haha no i’m not”

this guy is a dog and i hate him

ok i need linda and ella and amenadiel to cleanse my soul from that dick

“you two are a lot alike” how DARE YOU

ANOTHER murder??? things are heating up and i like it

“pretty sure you didn’t sleep with this guy” “actually ur wrong” OH MY GOD IT’S CHRISTMAS

“you’ll need a much bigger notepad”

this parade of lovely women with the song hot pants in the background is my aesthetic

“bit of a dry spell these last few months” ik this is a joke .... but that’s probably bc that’s when he met chloe js

dan don’t you dare things are complicated enough

“the best night of my life” in a bunch of different inflections is possibly the best scene in this show to date

also i love how they included a guy

and his explanations to dan omg this is hilarious

chloe is SO JEALOUS

OH MY GOD I’M SCREAMING AND CRYING

NOT OUT LOUD BUT JUST TRUST ME

ok now lucifer is sad so um.... cue character growth?

oh good more charlotte shipping deckerstar i love it

it’s still so weird that chloe thinks charlotte is lucifers ex

“last thing i need is a step-dan” “you say some really weird things man” i love their dynamic

LINDA

OK I’M GOOD BACK TO COMMENTARY

LINDA

SORRY

also linda and maze in the same scene????. christmas confirmed.

“you want me to stab this friend of yours” ok i love how maze is oblivious but also she’s Ready to Fight for linda and i’m just..... wow that’s beautiful

“that’s human” “i’m a demon” “i actually think ur more human than a lot of ppl i know” what kinda romantic bs is this??? i love it

“ur saying i’m awesome” “i’m saying that u need to say ur awesome”

“yes ur awesome” “hell yeah i am” I LOVE MAZE SO MUCH I’M DEAD

“i can describe her aura” it’s me

“i told you someone cared” i’m laughing lucifer is the best

god i missed this show

i’m gonna save this in my drafts before my computer freezes and erases the whole post again

ok i’m back

OFC CHLOE IS ON THE WALL

ok suki is who i would be if i ever met him i would just scream and shut the door oh my god

“gay best friend for now” i’m laughing

suki is hot it’s true

WHERE IS ELLA THOUGH

“do not leave town” “and abandon lucifer?” god me

AMENADIEL IS BACK

oh i forgot he’s being rude to lucifer

i forgot charlotte was still bad oh myg od

i’m a fake fan i’m sry guys

i still love them both though

if ever there was a time for ella to show up it would be now just saying

ok and she’s not there

lucifer is such a doofus i’m laughing so hard chloe is so scared

i just fast forwarded and there’s like three clones of a guy petting a robot dog and i just -

“i wanna build a cat sanctuary” god is this me

“no one wants to hear about your feline meet cute” that’s wrong i would sell my left kidney to hear about his cat

“i’m in” i love maze i just do i just i could watch her eat bread for three hours

“no. because i’m awesome” I LOVE HOW LINDA SUPPORTED MAZE SO MUCH THAT SHE REALLY CHANGED MAZE’S ATTITUDE I LOVE STRONG FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS

“because self worth comes from within bitches” DO YOU SEE WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT

my cat is back and obscuring my vision hang on a sec

ik that as you read this ur not waiting but i just want you to know that i had to wait for my cat to stop knocking my laptop over

her name is sylvester mcmonkey mcbean anyway

can deckerstar kiss already

amenadiel :’)

i kinda just want their pure brotherly love i don’t like the conspiring behind lucifer’s back

my cat and i compromised

ok i dig this jazzy piano music but for a sec i thought it was gonna be heart and soul and i was gonna die that’s my favorite deckerstar scene ever

maze looks so hot w o w

“if we were strangers you’d be hitting on me” maze is so smart dan you can learn from her

i do like him better now

oh my god i’m laughing so hard

“self worth comes from within dan” i love maze so much she’s trying so hard to help

i’m gonna scream

oh my g o d i love her so much i’m laughing

“you and me? not happening” he looks so hurt i am so sad chloe let him IN

MAZE IS SO HOT WHEN SHE’S MURDERING

aw poor jim

OH MY GOD WE’RE ONE EPISODE IN AND ALREADY LUCIFER HAS A GUN TO HIS HEAD CAN’T WE JUST RELAX FOR A SECOND AND LET HIM BE HAPPY GOD

already chloe is shook and scared bc she loves him so much

now lucifer is intrigued hm and so am i

LUCIFER STANDING UP FOR WOMEN IS MY AESTHETIC I LOVE THESE LITTLE MOMENTS

oh now he’s all “hey man we can work something out”

AW LUCIFER THINKS HE’S A GOOD PERSON

i should have seen where that was going

I JUST WANTED LUCIFER TO LOVE HIMSELF THAT’S ALL I WANTED

i guess we’re not there yet

that was badass tho

i was just thinking that we must have missed something about the package

who are these people

OH NO THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS TO CHLOE IN THE TRAILER I’M SCREAMING

were we supposed to recognize those things

lucifer is having an ocean contemplation shot is this the bachelor orr

“really” she says not disappointed at all

HONESTLY I’M BITTER RIGHT NOW I KNEW THEY WERE GONNA KEEP GIVING US SLOW BURN BUT LIKE AW

one step forward two steps back i guess

“you deserve someone worthy of you and that’s not me” I’M CRYING THAT’S NOT TRUE BB

“that’s not what i’m saying” “i know that’s what i’m saying” WHY DOES HE LOVE TO SUFFER WHAT THE HELL I’M SAD

LUCIFER THERE IS NO ONE BETTER THAN YOU

oh my god he’s just listing why he loves her

her middle name is jane?? this is cute

“ur special and i’m.... i’m not worth it” OH GOD YES YOU ARE

OBH MNYUIAHGREJKL;

AKJSDLFPOJIA UW0AOW J

WHAT OAIEKLW;’

IJJAIOWEFJO9

THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL

I’M TAKING A PIC AND PUTTING IT ONAERF[

MY WALL I WAS GONNA SAY AND THEN THEY KISSED AGAIN

OWEFIAJKML;

I’M SCREAMING AND HYPERVENTILATING WHAT THE HELL THAT WAS THE MOST ROMANTIC THING I’VE EVER SEEN

IT WAS LIKE A BEAUTIFUL PECK AND THEN SHE LEANS IN AGAIN AND CUT TO TRAILER AND I JUST

ASJFDLKj[wuhiol;nkl

it really is christmas guys :’)

i don’t know what to say i love thioajefkls;d’

YES WE JSUT GOT A DECKERSTAR KISS AND THEN WE GOT LIKE FIVE MORE IN THE TRAILER IT’S CHIRAMTMIOAL;’

i love you guys i love this show i’m signing off and watching the bachelor which is never going to be this romantic :’)

#lucifer #lucifer morningstar #deckerstar #chloe decker #mazikeen #mazikeen smith #trixie decker #dan espinoza #linda martin #linzikeen #amenadiel #charlotte richards #dana watches lucifer #dana watches stuff #lucifer lb

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