I think I'm annoyed about that post now actually lol.

hey!! i see your post about overcoming ideas about genitalia. i’ve honestly gone through a long journey to overcome any preconceived ideas about penises. and honestly i fully understand and accept that there’s nothing about penises that makes them manly or male-associated. i think they can be beautiful in their own right! i don’t have any negative feelings. however, i still just don’t have any interest in performing sexual acts with them, and idk how to get over that? im not disgusted. i guess it just doesn’t do much for me like pussies do, even tho i KNOW it doesn’t impact how i view someone as a woman. any advice on how to go from here? i don’t wanna like. experiment with a trans woman and put her in a situation that makes her uncomfortable and objectified just so i can over come this indifference, idk what else to do tbh. like i know trans women are women no matter if they have a pussy or a penis. i know that in my heart regardless of if people believe me or not, i know what’s in my heart more than anyone. but still. i can’t seem to figure out how to change what i want sexually. so i guess i’m just looking for advice here!

so like I think this is a great example of people (unintentionally) fundamentally misunderstanding the point of why ur unpacking ur transmisogyny in the first place

the point is not to make everyone personally go out and have sex they dont want to be having. the point is to get people to see and treat trans women as both women and people. with humanity and dignity and respect and with all the civil rights and liberties we afford to cis ppl. if ur doing that, then thats it. thats literally all u have to do

none of that has anything to do with ur personal sexual taste and interests and what arouses u. none of this conversation is about what arouses u personally

the answer to ur question is do nothing. change absolutely nothing about the people ur fucking. u dont have to have sex with someone with a penis. like genuinely. who u personally are choosing to fuck has absolutely nothing to do with the conversation.

its not about changing ur personal sexual behavior or tastes. its about understanding where societal bias and bigotry has enterered into our assumptions about others and how that affects both how we treat them in real life and how we protect or oppress them on a societal scale

I'm personally not attracted to red heads. this doesnt mean that red headed women aren't women just because I, a man who fucks women, doesnt want to personally fuck those specific women

its the same as when we say that cis ppl questioning their gender doesn't mean "become trans or ur not woke" it means "understand urself and ur choices better and where societal pressure might be influencing u"

cis people can question their gender and stay cis. striaght people can question their sexuality but ultimately stay straight. some lesbians can decide they still aren't comfortable personally having sex with a penis even of others are and thats fine. theyre all still lesbians. u don't ever have to have sex that u aren't comfortable with or force urself to be comfortable with things u aren't

none of that has anything to do with what trans people are actually advocating for when we advocate for our human rights. none of this is about u and ur sex life.

decenter urself and ur sex life from ur politics because it has no reason to be here

It's wrong for anyone to discriminate against trans ppl just bc they're trans, but you're not saying that, you're saying ppl who don't like one set of genitals should force themselves to have sex with those genitals. Consent should be freely given, reversible, informed, enthusiastic, and specific. So you can consent to making out but not going further. Anyone can turn down sex for any reason and for most allosexuals, genitals, bc sex is using/touching genitals, is a good reason to turn down sex.

“2/2 No offense but as a trans person who isn’t bi/pan, genital preference discourse is very upsetting. As an asexual who has never had sex you shouldn’t lecture other people on our sex lives especially when you preach against healthy consent and for making people feel guilty about saying no. Nobody should feel obligated to fuck someone else. Sex involves genitals, so genitals matter to sex. Stay in your lane as an asexual who wouldn’t want to be pressured into sex they don’t want.“

oh my god im not saying that anyone should force anyone to have sex with anyone!!! im just trying to be like “ok but consider how it would feel for trans people.” ??? idk dyshoria sucks. but i know that it’s impossible to protect everyone’s feelings all the time. and um?? i obviously know that consent should be freely given, reversible, informed, enthusiastic, and specific. it should also be reaffirmed by both parties, verbal, and given while not under the influence. listen i fucking LOVE consent okay, it’s mandatory and also just happens to be cute and sweet and awesome. and of course anyone can turn down sex at any point anytime. 

and okay listen im literally not trying to lecture anyone im just here on my blog saying my opinion it’s up to you whether you agree or not. also wtf im not “preaching” bc that implies that i repeatedly and constantly over a long period of time try to assert my way of thinking over a large group of people. literally no part of that sentence is true. also, i fucking love healthy consent, and clearly understand what that means, fight me. and i think what makes me feelsbadman is that it feels like a person/their identity is being reduced down to their genitals. like their whole essence/value lies there and there alone. and listen, there are a ton of creative ways to have “sex” if you really care about a person and are into them but not necessarily into their specific genitalia. and sex, like all aspects of a relationship, should be based in communication and honesty and trust. obviously you can turn down sex whenever, and definitely should if you feel uncomfortable or unhappy or pressured in any way, just try not being verbally shitty to them about their gender identity or appearance (presuming this is someone you care about)???

tbqh im know, im biased, because im insanely protective of trans people and trans rights are a super important issue to me. and im sure being pan and a huge romantic probably also aren’t helping, and neither is all the discourse about gender and masulinity/femininity and how pretty much nothing is concrete (which i agree with). i know you can’t consider and validate every single thing at all times. i’m not trying to change anyone or anything, like keep living your lives and doing what you want to do. some shit some random college kid says on the internet isn’t gonna change anything.

i guess it just makes me feel weirdsad. like what if someone had a weird nipple? like, what if they were chandler from friends and literally had a third nipple. wouldn’t it be just kind of like, sad? ya know? if someone rejected chandler just because of his nipple? like obviously the person should only do what they want to/are comfortable with and theyre not in the wrong or anything. i just. i’d feel bad for the chandler person in the scenario. not that i’d be upset with the other person. just. i’d just feel bad for the chandler person. that’s all im trying to say. thinking about trans people having to experience Even More Dysphoria just makes me sad. i’ll shut up about it though. thanks for talking to me about this!