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japhan2024 · 4 months

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The Edge

I've written this phanfic for @dapg-otmebytheballs as part of the @phandomgiftexchange. I was so excited when I saw I got to write for you. You're one of my favorite phan blogs!! I really tried to make it more angsty, but Dan and Phil are radiating so much love and general joy that I just couldn't.. I hope you still like it though!!

Genre: angst, fluff

Words: 1.508

AO3 link

Excerpt: "Dan gasped as a tall, ruffled haired and bespectacled angel of a man appeared. With his goofy smile. With his mismatched socks, his anime shirt and his horrifically printed pajama pants. His eyes reflected the last rays of sunlight with a sparkling sea of blue and green. How Dan loved this man."

The early sunset bestowed a pink hue upon the white walls. They were the walls of an incredibly expensive London house. A long shadow moved up and down the large living room. Dan was pacing, mumbling loudly.

"I know it's what I want but what I want is not necessarily the right thing, maybe, maybe it is, but they said that I should carve out my own path but I just want to be with Phil and make videos with Phil and be with Phil more hours of the day, I need it to be 24 or I might go insane tALKING TO MYSELF AGAIN…"

His ramblings continued as he paced faster and faster. "The solo tour was fun, but it was also terrible. I don't want to be away from Phil, I need -" Dan called out: Phil? PHIL??

Muffled footsteps came down the stairs. Dan gasped as a tall, ruffled haired and bespectacled angel of a man appeared. With his goofy smile. With his mismatched socks, his anime shirt and his horrifically printed pajama pants. His eyes reflected the last rays of sunlight with a sparkling sea of blue and green. How Dan loved this man.

"Is it time to make dinner already?"

"You know what, that's a good idea, Phil."

"I could make us noodles," Phil replied as he opened (but didn't close) some of the kitchen's cabinets.

"Singapore noodles!" Dan said excitedly as the lights automatically turned on. They were a friendly orange and Dan smiled, content with the layout and the atmosphere of the room. It was exactly what he had hoped it would be, all those years ago when they were designing their forever home.

"Wanna make it together?"

"I'll chop the vegetables, I am concerned for both our safeties if you have a knife in your hands."

"Hey!" Phil chuckled and pushed Dan lovingly.

As they were cooking, Dan blurted it out.

"Phil, the whole solo career isn't working."

"What do you mean?" Phil looked at Dan, his ginger eyebrows raised in concern.

"I mean, it was a nice idea, having my own shows, tour and stuff. But…" Dan sat down at the kitchen table.

"Phil," he said, voice strained. "I am still not living my truth! What use is it to be independent, if I can only show half of myself? I did a whole bloody series on my own. Do you know which episode i like the most? The one with you! Actually, it's the only episode i like to be honest. I was so sure, Phil, of wanting to be independent… but now, I'm quite certain in the opposite direction."

Phil sat down beside him. He looked at Dan and laid his hand on his shoulder. "I just want you to be happy, Dan," he said. And it was the truth. How hard had he tried all these years to make Dan happy… He loved this curly haired, doe-eyed man so dearly, but he couldn't fight all his battles for him. The solo tour had probably been good for Dan. Or so Phil had thought. Apparently, it was still not what Dan wanted.

"Okay, we'll figure it out," Phil said, rubbing Dan's arm. The touch of Phil's hand was so important. So reassuring. It walked Dan back from the edge in his mind, to a more centered, peaceful place.

Suddenly, a sharp odor filled their nostrils.

"The noodles!" They screamed in unison as they jumped up and ran towards the stove.

"Well, those are ruined," Dan said, as Phil cleaned out the burnt pieces from the pan.

"So, now what?"

Dan and Phil looked at each other and said at the same time: "pizza!"

Dan got out his phone and ordered their favorite kind. "Half and half, large, original crust, Texas barbeque and the Sizzler. … What do you mean you don't have the Sizzler anymore? What?! Oh. Okay, well then, never mind." Dan hung up. "What the fuck! They don't have the Sizzler pizza anymore?"

"Dan, don't you remember? I made a big deal out of this, like, months ago."

"Oh, oh my god, you're right… How could I forget such an important piece of Phil-lore! Sometimes it's like I don't remember recent events, you know? Like, how is it 2023? It should be at MOST 2014. When I am in my head, right, I'm always on the edge of totally spiraling about these things."

"Yes, Dan, I know. You'll be on the ground again, moaning and groaning. OWW MY HEAAAD!"

"Shut up." Dan scowled fondly at Phil, who was laughing that ridiculous tongue-laugh that drove Dan wild.

Phil got out his phone and ordered Indian food instead. When it arrived, he got up to answer the door. Dan had retreated into a mood. Whenever that happened, it was best to just leave him alone and let it pass. They silently ate their food at the kitchen table.

As the weeks went on, Phil sensed that Dan was thinking about something. He would indeed lay on the ground, but it was more meditative than agony. Phil never wanted to influence Dan's free will, of course, but he did hope that Dan would soon make a decision.

It was late, and London was shrouded in a deep fog. Dan however, felt absolutely clear-headed.

Phil was absent-mindedly browsing on his phone on the living room couch. Dan suddenly pranced into the room and said:

"Phil, I want our gaming channel back. Wow, it feels really nice to have finally admitted that."

Something moved under the surface of Phil's eyes. He got up and looked at his beautiful cat boy.

"Are you sure, Dan?"

"Yeah." Dan sat down next to Phil and traced his arm from his shoulder to his hand, and took it in his.

"No, but are you really sure? I thought you had moved away from that particular branding."

"Fuck branding, Phil! It's our channel, it's our thing. Can't we do with it what we want? By the way, I was thinking about my last tour today, and when I saw our fans again, I realized something. They are unhinged, oh God. But I feel like we have built something special with them. They know this. We know this. We know they know. We can make Dan and Phil Games whatever we want it to be. Think about it, it would be like the Super Amazing Project but with a higher quality and one hundred percent us."

Dan looked into the deep pools of Phil's soul, that were his eyes. He saw excitement there. They both laughed.

"Phil… it's been so healing to see our actual audience. Yes, they are rabid, but they are also people who watched us for all these years, you know? Doing videos with you is kind of the foundation of our relationship anyway, and yeah, there have always been followers and subscribers, way too invested in our lives. But at the same time, they've been there with us all this time. They are the emo kids who looked at your zany video's and thought "yes, this is good shit." Well, so did I! And I still do. So, I was thinking… And I feel like we are at a point now, where we could just stop giving a fuck. We could just be our true selves. And not care! Phil, I can feel it. We're on the edge of something special, a new chapter in our lives. One that we write, ourselves."

Phil squeezed Dan's hand. "So, you're finally ready, aren't you?" He gave Dan a smoldering look. This took Dan aback , even though it shouldn't, as they had lived together for all of these years. But every time Phil pulled something like this, Dan would blush and be overcome with want and desire.

"Phil… I am so ready."

"Then let's do it. I am so happy you've come around to the idea! I mean, finally, I've been pitching this exact thing for years, but okay!" He laughed his dorky laugh again and caressed Dan's cheek. "I love you, you know that, right?"

"I do," Dan said while looking up at Phil. Dan did this often: even though he was the tallest of the two, he would slouch so as to be able to look up, and be the 'shorter' one, just like when they had first met. Phil could never resist him like this. Dan's eyes were warm, dark and inviting. It was exhilarating.

"You know what we should do, to celebrate this decision?"

Dan still looked up to him, caramel eyes conveying anticipation.

"We should go to Japan. Have ourselves a holiday. We can think about setting up all the business stuff of it after. It's an extra job, after all. Dan, let's escape and enjoy each other, enjoy Japan, then take this plunge back into the thick of it."

Dan jumped onto his lap and kissed him. "Yes, Phil, that would be so lovely. Let's book a flight, but first…" And he kissed him again. "First, I have to appreciate you."

#phandom gift exchange #phanfic #phan #dan and phil

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moonanonymous · 4 months

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yes, I know

Summary: It's October 19th, and Phil is anxiously awaiting a train.

Rating: G

Tags: 2009 era, first meeting, fluff

Author notes: Written for @spnyuri, for the @phandomgiftexchange, happy holidays!! Hope you enjoy some first meeting fluff :)

read on ao3

#phandom gift exchange #phanfic

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lesbian-sora · 4 months

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Phil's son is obsessed with the faceless man who narrates audiobooks. Dan's daughter is obsessed with the brightly dressed librarian in charge of the children's department. And Dan and Phil? Well, they're a little obsessed with one another. _________ “You’re Zach’s favorite narrator,” Mr. Phil smiled. “He’s your biggest fan.” Dan looked down at Zach who was still staring at him in awe and he couldn’t help but believe Phil’s claim. He cocked an eyebrow. “I’m pretty sure everything I read was outside of his reading level.” “Didn’t matter to him,” Phil shrugged. “His favorite is Moby Dick.” Dan laughed. “Well, you’ve also met your biggest fan. Rose hardly ever stops talking about you.” Rose let out a sharp little yelp and hid her face in Dan’s hip. Phil smiled gently at her and knelt to talk to her. “It was very nice to meet you, Rose.”

This was written for @anironsidh as part of the @phandomgiftexchange Holiday 2023 edition!

This is just a fun little meet-cute fic with a fun little shot of kid fic added for flavor. I had lots of fun with this fic, so I hope you enjoy it, too! <3

#phanfiction #phan #phandom gift exchange

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phandomgiftexchange · 1 year

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Hello everyone! Today we have something very exciting to announce: the sign-ups for the Holiday 2022 Phandom Gift Exchange are open!

This event is a gift exchange where people create a phanwork for who they are assigned; you don’t know who will be creating your gift, but you can be assured that their talents will match up to your requests!

Roles

There are two roles you can sign up to be in the event.

Gifter: The majority of people participating will be gifting a phandom work to another, therefore, you all will be gifters. The person you will be gifting for will (probably) not also be the person gifting for you. On the form, you’ll choose genres/ tropes you enjoy and then you’re also free to provide some more specific prompts if you’d like. Sign-ups to be a gifter will close Wednesday, November 23rd at 11:59 PM. The gifter sign-up form is here!

Beta: The betas in this event will not be receiving a personalized gift but will be assisting the gifters. Most likely, you will be beta-reading for people who are gifting fic, but someone can also sign up as a beta to just help with brainstorming, motivation, etc.! You are free to sign up as both a gifter and a beta if you feel you have the time! Betas will not be assigned to a team, but will be available in our beta directory so that gifters can contact you based on the skills you have listed. Sign-ups to be a beta will close Wednesday, November 23rd at 11:59 PM. The beta sign-up form is here!

Timeline

Saturday, November 12th: Announcement post and sign-ups go out

Wednesday, November 23rd: Forms close

November 26th-27th: Gifters are contacted with who they are gifting for. (And shhh! Don't let them know!)

Sunday, December 11th: Check-in goes out

Thursday, December 15th: Check-in closes, any pinch-hitters contacted soon after

Friday, December 30th: Posting day!

More Details

The gifting assignments will not be random. The admins (@husbants and @ttlmt) will be matching up each gifter with a partner based on the gifter’s self-identified skills and the partner’s likes and prompts.

There will be separate under 18 and 18 and older groups. A gifter will only be considered to gift for people within their age group.

We will be communicating through tumblr and email. There will also be a Discord (the link will be sent through email when assignments go out) and we’ll post updates and announcements there, too. Make sure your tumblr dms are open, you’re checking this blog, and you’re checking your email during the event!

When the gifters post their gifts to tumblr on December 30th, they should tag both this account and their partner on the post. This blog will also reblog everyone’s gift posts.

We’re really hoping this doesn’t happen, but if you are assigned to someone you have blocked, contact one of the admins and we can switch around our own assignments or talk to someone signed up as a pinch-hitter and deal with it. If you know you definitely couldn’t work with or gift for someone, you can also specify this on your sign-up form.

In Conclusion

We hope this event will spread some holiday cheer throughout the tumblr phandom! Thank you so much for your interest and it would be great if you could reblog and spread the word. If you have any questions, feel free to dm one of the admins or send an ask!

#dan and phil #dnp #phandom #phan #danandphil #phandom gift exchange

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secretlywritingstories · 1 year

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Welcome home! (never leave that long again) | Phan one shot

Summary: Dan comes home from tour and stumbles right into Phil’s arms. He is more touch starved than he’d realised.

Tags: Established relationship, domestic fluff, reunited post US leg of doomed tour, touch-starvation, hugs, kisses, cuddles

Word count: 4k

No warnings.

Written for the @phandomgiftexchange as a gift for @moonanonymous! I hope you like it, Sophia. It’s very soft and fluffy.

Read on AO3 or below

It has officially been a lot of seconds.

Too many seconds really. Dan didn’t try to count them, or he would literally have gone insane. It already felt a little insane to begin with. A world tour on his own. It had been something he’d worked for so long, and it almost hadn’t happened with the pandemic making everything shut down. It had still felt risky to go on tour, but he had needed to do this. He hadn’t been sure that he could watch yet another big project grind to a deafening halt.

And it had been amazing. Exhausting? Without a doubt, but Dan loved the stage. He still had a little theatre kid inside of him that got a rush like none other when he was up there performing in any way. And he was proud of this show. Everything put into it and carefully balanced, despite the gloomy title. He would never actually want anyone to leave feeling like the world would end.

Because for all the darkness in it, the light still existed. You just had to seek it out.

Dan was doing just that now, as the car pulled up in front of the home he shared with his very own personal life.

Phil had offered to come pick him up at the airport. Just for the heck of it, but they agreed that it was stupid to spend money taking a car to the airport, just to have Dan jump into it and drive right back. They would also much rather have their reunion in private.

He’d texted Phil when he’d landed, and sporadically through the drive. They had gotten quite good at that again. They hadn’t needed it for over a decade, only pulling out their phones on the rare occasions that they were separated, or needed to talk to each other covertly. They always came home to each other, cuddled up in the same bed, breathing the same air. Existed together.

Dan still couldn’t quite believe that prior to this tour they hadn’t been apart for more than two and a half weeks since they met back in 2009. Hearing that had made him a bit worried about this distance, if it could somehow hurt them that he went away for such a long time.

It wasn’t a worry that had lingered for very long.

Phil had also been quick to reassure him, fondly rolling his eyes and joking that he was going to have fun, throw a million parties and burn their home down, while Dan was away. The reality had been Phil facetiming him from the bed or sofa or calling while visiting friends and family. He’d never said it, but Dan had still been able to tell that Phil thought that the home had seemed too big without Dan.

Dan grabbed his oversized suitcase out from the boot and struggled with it up the stairs. He wasn’t sure if he was nervous, or if it was just giddy anticipation. He used the code to come in, while wondering if Phil was watching him on the creepy black and white fish eye by the front door.

It was almost felt as when he’d gotten out of that train on Manchester station and felt eyes on him instantly. Phil had spotted him from afar and then they had moved towards each other. Timidly back then.

There was nothing timid about what happened when Phil opened the door for Dan this time around.

Dan just saw him and it was like his body went into autopilot. He dropped the handle of the suitcase and just ploughed right into Phil. No hello. No smiles. No nothing.

Later, Dan would be slightly embarrassed about that. Of how his vision completely narrowed down to just Phil, Phil, Phil and he wanted to exist merged together with him the instant he saw him for real, and not on a screen.

Or maybe he wouldn’t be embarrassed later, because Phil was visibly shaking and latching onto Dan just as hard as he was being latched onto. They were pressing against each other, grip around their shoulders and waists probably hard enough to leave bruises, but that didn’t matter.

Dan was with Phil.

He was home.

The distance had been hard, sure, but he had also been insanely busy and he already knew that the tour life suited him well. It was something set to do each day, and he felt productive and on track. Time passed quickly, even though he also tried to savour the moments, so they didn’t just fly by. That had arguably been harder without Phil by his side.

And the two of them had been racking up video call records that could rival themselves back in 2009. Snapping photos, wayward thoughts in texts, silly voice notes, even some haunted talking emojis. They had still felt close to each other, and it was not like Dan had been worried this could seriously tear them apart.

Phil had been so excited and supportive of the tour, just like Dan would have been if it had been the other way around. They really had each other’s backs. There wasn’t any doubt about that.

They had each other now too, though they both continued to hold on like they would shatter, if they let go. Dan felt something emotional well up in his chest and he couldn’t get any words out. They were trapped there, hot and almost painful.

He had missed Phil for a whole lot of things. For the easy domestic, for his weird and fantastic brain, for all of their little shared traditions. But he’d also missed him for this. Touch. They touched so much in their day-to-day life, little interactions here and there. A brush of a hand, a quick kiss, a smack in the butt, latching onto the other’s shoulders, bumping their hips together. Not even considering all of their intimate moments or how they shared a bed, cuddled up close most nights.

Phil never let go first of hugs, so Dan knew that he would have to be the one to eventually break it. But it was really the last thing that he wanted. He felt as if his body had gone into shock.

And Dan only just now had realised how touch-starved he’d been these months apart.

He had been around people basically all of the time, but he wasn’t the best at letting anyone get too close to him. He didn’t like it. He only liked it when it was Phil. If it wasn’t Phil, he didn’t want it.

“It probably goes without saying,” Phil said, and he sounded a little choked up too, “but I… hate you.”

It had been a long flight back from LA and it took a moment for Dan’s brain to fully follow along. Phil had said it in such a deadpan voice. It was finally enough for at least some words to make it out of Dan’s mouth.

“I missed you too,” he said and squeezed Phil back a little harder.

The door was ajar behind them, Dan’s suitcase had probably tipped over. They could move to the living room or the bedroom and get comfortable but Dan’s hands would not let go. It felt like they had frozen up and locked in tight and nothing could unlatch them.

They didn’t want to risk losing hold of Phil again.

“Never leave that long again,” Phil said, and Dan felt how he nuzzled against his cheek. He seemed to almost breathe him in, as if he’d forgotten what he smelled like in the months that they had been apart.

Phil didn’t really mean that, because if another opportunity like this came up for Dan, then he’d be the first one to support it. But Dan could understand the ache in Phil’s chest right now. It was mirrored in his own.

“Don’t plan on it,” Dan said, laughter bubbling up between the words.

The rest of his tour was in shorter chunks. The Australia and New Zealand leg would be just over two weeks and the European leg would be about three weeks. Much more manageable time apart. Nowhere other than the US was so damn big.

“I killed the house plants,” Phil said blurting it out like a big secret. “Well, some of them. I think? They didn’t fare well with me going to my parents for a while.”

Dan did care a lot about his plants. It was a fun little hobby. He’d teased Phil about how he’d kill them all and even sent a couple of reminders for him to water them. But he could not be genuinely upset about the foliage’s death. Some of them had looked a little worse for wear even before he left and maybe there could be a project in trying to see if he could save some of them.

“Of course, you did,” Dan said, voice dripping with fondness and he didn’t even try to keep it in check.

He made his hands unclench and slowly stared to let go of Phil. Phil did the same, but they did not stay parted for long. Dan had only just bent down and grabbed the suitcase, kicked the door shut, and then he was leaning right back into Phil’s space.

He smelled nice. He’d dressed nicely too. Dan had been too preoccupied before to notice. Phil could have been wearing a clown suit or he could have been stark naked and it would not have mattered. Dan would happily have collided into him all the same.

“Clingy, huh?” Phil asked, clearly teasing, but he looped his arm around Dan’s waist and he didn’t really seem like he wanted to let go either.

“Shut up,” Dan said without any bite at all.

Phil chuckled, low and delighted and he pulled Dan further down the hallway. Dan kept a loose grip on the suitcase, letting it trail after them as he dragged his feet onwards. He wasn’t sure he’d ever left the hallway, if Phil wasn’t the one guiding him.

He was so fucking ready to just exist in his home space again. To make the hours pass with Phil. They had a bit of time before his family would visit for Christmas. And then Phil’s family would. It would be something to be stressed about in the future. Not today. They were not going to do anything today.

Except kiss and cuddle.

As soon as the thought entered Dan’s brain, he had to do it.

“Come here,” he said, moving his free hand to cup Phil’s face. Phil stopped dragging them along, paused in the middle of the living room.

As soon as he realised what Dan wanted, he let out a soft hum and then there was a soft press of lips against Dan’s own. His eyelids had already fallen shut and he let himself get lost in the feeling of gentle kissing. The weight of the arm around his waist. How he let Phil hold and support his weight.

And then Phil bit his lip.

Not in a sexy way, but in an impulse way. Not hard enough to draw blood, just enough to leave a bit of a sting and randomly surprise Dan. He jumped back a bit, and touched his fingertips to his tingling lip.

“Really? Did you devolve back into the rawr XD biting phase?” Dan said and he tried so hard to keep his tone free from amusement but it was like his whole body was silently laughing. Phil just nipped at him, how he often did when he got a bit too excited or he had too much energy he needed to work out.

He’d never really grown out of that habit and Dan could still see the young man he fell in love with in the man standing in front of him now.

Phil fake snapped out after him, making his teeth clink together and Dan’s hold on his laughter broke. He laughed, full-bellied and bowing forward as it just shook through him. Phil was on him a second later, grabbing onto his arms and shoulders and shaking him as he continued to howl with laughter.

“Dan,” Phil whined and basically plastered himself into Dan’s side as he tried to get the giggles under control. “It’s not that funny,” he said, but he was still chuckling a little himself.

“Oh, but it is,” Dan said, finally having enough hold on the laughter. He could still feel the echoes vibrating through his body. He turned and took Phil’s face in his palms. He needed him to just be still for a moment, and just look at him.

Phil tried to twist his face away, even as his hands found Dan’s hips to hold him close.

“Dan,” Phil complained. “Are you going to creepy stare at me again?”

“No,” Dan said, quick and dry. “I am going to openly and lovingly stare at your stupid mug and make sure nothing changed while I was away.”

Phil rolled his eyes but he stopped trying to turn his face away. Dan had large hands and he covered almost all of Phil’s chin and cheeks when he held him like this. It made his glassed push up just a little. Still, it felt grounding to be able to do that. To really let his eyes fully take in Phil standing in front of him.

The little bit of gunk near the corner of his left eye. The way his hair was a styled nicely but getting a little bit too long. The slight cracks in his bottom lip from the winter cold. The temperature of his face growing hotter under Dan’s touch. The way his glasses were too smudged. All the little things that made him so human.

It made Dan want to reread Shakespeare’s sonnet 130. He could still never grasp why some of his high school classmates had thought it was a diss to the woman described in the sonnet. As if being human and real with all the imperfections and still loved dearly wasn’t the biggest love declaration of all.

“You’ve got that sappy look,” Phil said, one hand moving from Dan’s hip to rest on the side of his neck.

Dan welcomed the warm and steady touch. For the first eighteen years of his life, he’d hated people coming close to his neck. It was sensitive and irked him when anyone even got close, let alone touched it. But not Phil.

Phil was allowed into and onto everything. It was even encouraged. Dan could feel the love and care spreading into his skin through the heat of Phil’s palm.

“Would you slap me if I poorly recited a poem?” Dan said, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Yes,” Phil said without hesitation.

Dan’s smile grew even wider on his face and he gently closed the distance between their faces again.

“Don’t bite,” Dan whispered, just before he locked their lips back together.

It tasted like coming home too. He was happy to know that. That Phil still looked, tasted and felt the same. Time had passed, but it had felt frozen too, so Dan had been a little worried. That he would somehow have missed something in Phil’s life, despite being in constant contact with him.

Phil kissed him back gently, but he did also nip at his lip a second time. This time undoubtedly just to be a little shit. Dan knew how to get his revenge. He let go of his face and instead aimed for his sides, going to tickle him until he surrendered.

Phil shrieked and tried to leap out from the attack but Dan was faster. Phil stared laughing and squirming and they moved through the living room, half clinging to each other while both of them laughed. They fell onto the sofa in half coordination, Phil landing on top of Dan.

This sofa hadn’t yet developed a sofa crease with the imprint of their butts but they were both working heartily at it. Every goddamn piece of furniture in this home would wear their imprint in one way or another. A lot of the stuff they had brought along from the old flat already did. They were sentimental people and that wasn’t likely to change anytime soon.

Phil tried to move into a more comfortable position but made no move at getting up. He did almost knee Dan in the groin, which Dan used to make a big fuss so Phil would lean in and pepper little kisses across his face.

God, they were gross. In the best way.

And it had been months since they’d seen each other. They were allowed this.

Dan could already feel how he was getting tired, now that he was horizontal.

“You’re better than a weighted blanket,” he hummed, mostly to himself.

Phil let out a snort of indignation. “So, you just want me for my body,” he joked.

“Duh,” Dan said with a chuckle. “Need to get reacquainted with this body and all that it can do.”

He moved his hands up Phil’s sides, and let his hands land on his butt and give it a good squeeze. Despite Dan’s words, his touch was familiar and warm rather than trying to initiate anything. Yes, he’d missed that part of being next to each other very much as well, but they could do that later. He didn’t really want to get naked and sweaty right now.

Food and sex could be on the agenda for tonight.

Dan’s eyes slipped shut and he let out a deep breath, and it felt like he got a deeper exhale done than usual, with Phil’s weight on top of his chest.

Phil’s hands found his hair, ruffling it gently and pulling on some of the little curly loops. He did that sometimes when he woke up first but he didn’t quite want to get out of bed. If his phone could no longer entertain him, he’d turn towards Dan and just play with his hair.

It had happened even more frequently after Dan had embraced the curls.

“Your hair feels different,” Phil mused.

“American water and new shampoo probably,” Dan mumbled and then turned his head slightly away from Phil to yawn.

He didn’t want to sleep. He wanted to stay awake and talk to Phil.

Phil let out a hum. “I’ve got a fun idea, but maybe we should film it tomorrow.”

“Texting video?” Dan asked, furrowing his brows.

They’d talked about that one. The first two had done quite well, and it was an easy and fun video to do together. This year had even more conversations than usual with them being apart for longer than ever before.

Not that they would share any everything. There were some exchanges, like Phil’s reaction to the slutty nun costume, that would never see the light of day. It wasn’t exactly appropriate for YouTube. And Dan wasn’t kidding when he said it had awakened something within him. It had made him feel sexy and he’d looked good. Phil had confirmed as much. He’d brought the costume home for him to see it in person at some point.

“No, not a video idea,” Phil said, still gently playing with Dan’s hair.

It was so nice. To just be close again. To have Phil touch him again, so easily and freely. Dan could tell that Phil had missed it too. He’d never say it with words, but his actions spoke volumes. He had thrown himself down over Dan and they were now breathing in sync, touching in almost as many places as possible.

“Tell me,” Dan said.

Familiar words but he hadn’t said them in a while. It was what he always told Phil when he could sense that he had something in his head that he needed to get out. Usually, it was when Phil looked like he needed an outlet, but sometimes it was also like this; when he had said half of something and then waited for Dan to react before continuing.

“We could make a video of you coming home and finding all your house plants dead.”

“All of them are dead?” Dan asked, voice a little too loud.

“Not all of them!” Phil insisted but Dan clearly did need to do a proper inspection.

Check how many of them actually could be saved. They could always buy new ones if it came to it. Dan might have been worried about their future plans for more pets, if he hadn’t seen how they had both been with Norman. Granted, he’d been an easy pet, but they both had understood how to take care of him while Phil clearly still struggled with the plants. An animal was different.

“It’s a good idea, funny,” Dan mumbled and wiggled down a little so he could lie a bit more comfortable. “And the audience would expect a grand reunion. They’ll like a video like that.”

Sometimes, Dan wondered what it was like to exist as people who didn’t have an audience. To never have that pressure hanging over him, but he couldn’t really imagine if he hadn’t gone down this path and ended up here either.

He wasn’t sure where him and Phil would have landed without YouTube and all the opportunities making videos and creating a community had done for them. It surely had made them feel strong enough to be able to withstand anything. It had both been tough and full of love.

Dan was a bit extra soft-hearted about their audience right now, having come back from actually seeing them in person instead of just as usernames on a screen. To be able to give them hugs and hear how he and Phil impacted their lives. To watch so many young, and overwhelmingly queer, people who found safety and pride in themselves because of Dan and Phil just living their authentic lives.

“You’re in sappy world again,” Phil said, poking at Dan’s cheek.

Right into his deep dimple.

“Leave Derek alone,” Dan mumbled, but spoke in a way that jostled Phil’s finger the least.

Dan had needed to hold Phil’s face and look at him, but Phil was different. A light bite, fingers through his hair, pinning him to the sofa, poking at his dimple. This was them settling into their skin again, recalibrating to each other’s presence.

“Never,” Phil said, and leaned up to replace his finger with his lips. He pressed a gentle kiss to the dimple and then he blew air right onto the skin, making the sound of a balloon running away before having been tied off.

It tickled and Dan flailed a bit under it, nearly knocking the glasses right off Phil.

“I’m never leaving you alone again,” Phil said, and seemed to actually latch onto Dan even harder.

Dan’s hand found the small of Phil’s back and slipped his hand under the shirt. Phil made a sound of annoyance, mumbling something about his hands being cold.

“Slander. I’m always warm,” Dan countered, spreading out his palm just to feel Phil’s skin some more. The dip of his spine, the little dry spot to the left, and touching where he knew there was a little cluster of freckles, even though he couldn’t see it right now.

“Who told you that?” Phil said.

A bait.

One Dan would gladly take.

“You,” he said, lips quirking up in a smile once more. “What an idiot, huh?”

“Your idiot,” Phil said, looking up and catching Dan’s eyes. They were so full of love and warmth and Dan was never going to get tired of looking at this man, of holding him close, of sharing their lives with one another.

“My idiot, and I’m yours too,” Dan agreed.

And then they both laughed and pulled a face at all of the sentimentality. It made it okay, to say something corny and sappy, as long as they could joke about it in the next beath.

Tour had been great. Dan had been thriving, but nothing could never ever beat this.

He got to come home to Phil for the rest of his life and it was without a doubt his favourite part of his existence. They had a lot of seconds ahead of them. Together.

#phandom gift exchange #phandom #Phanfic #phan #my stories

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succubusphan · 2 years

Text

Burned Into My Soul

Summary: "Sometimes you have to run into this head first," Dan always said. Ironically, that's exactly what he did.

Rating: Pg

Tags/warnings: Soulmate au, First meeting, Strangers to Lovers, hospital setting, Happy ending.

Author's Note: This for my beloved @effingmeteors for the @phandomgiftexchange. (Yes I lied mwahahaha)

Word Count: 2.7k

Read on Ao3

Dan rushed around the flat, going through his clothes chair to see what was usable and managed to come up with a whole outfit just on time to down his now cold coffee and run out the door. He was still on track to get to work but his train broke down, making the fact that he had left home with one hour to spare completely useless. Dan cursed himself, he knew he should have gone for two hours instead, but he'd been so comfy in bed.

Of fucking course it started raining as ran down the streets of London, trying to get to Radio One on time. He had just started working there a month ago, and after being late three times in a row he'd been yelled at, his position threatened.

He looked at his phone and smiled; only a few more blocks ahead and 15 minutes until he was due to clock in. He could do it. He was going to be on time for once. If everything went well, he could work hard for a few months to prove himself and then he could pitch his show idea. He just needed to -

The searing pain was what he felt first. Then, he saw the shocked face of the man he had run into widen and his lips let out a squeak as he caught Dan on the way down.

Dan screamed and screamed, shutting his eyes tightly as every muscle on his body burned, even his skin felt like he was on fire.

“Are you alright?” was the last thing Dan heard before his world went black.

The lights were far too bright for Dan’s liking. He groaned and threw an arm back over his eyes, realising that he was still in mild pain. His eyes widened as he remembered. Sitting up, he looked around nervously and realised he was in a hospital bed, hooked to three different machines.

A handsome doctor that looked too much like Henry Cavill for Dan’s comfort walked in, a chart in his hands, and gave him a once over. “Oh, how are you feeling? I didn’t expect you to wake up for a few more hours.”

“I - I’m in pain,” Dan said. “What happened?”

“You don’t remember?” The doctor asked, raising his eyebrows.

“No… I was - going to work,” he said and panic rose within him immediately. “I need to go.”

“You can’t leave just yet. That looks infected.”

“What?” Dan said with a frown.

The doctor grabbed Dan’s right arm and showed him a weird spiral that looked almost burned into his skin. “Do you remember your name, date of birth?”

“Daniel Howell, 11th of June 1991 but I didn’t do this.”

“You are lucky to be alive, Mr Howell. Thankfully, the person you ran into was a registered nurse of this hospital and brought you in right away.”

“You still haven’t told me what happened, and this is getting a bit frustrating,” Dan said, his tone sharp.

“You don’t know what that is?” The doctor asked.

Dan crossed his arms, regretting instantly as the mark on his forearm started throbbing.

“That is a soulmate mark. We haven’t seen one in so long.”

“I thought nobody got them anymore.”

“There hasn’t been a recorded case in decades. The last one was my parents. That’s why I decided to become a doctor and why I was called here as your specialist.”

Dan’s lips fell open. It all felt so foreign to him, he wasn’t even in a relationship. Who could it possibly be? He went to scratch the mark but the doctor grabbed his wrist.

“You shouldn’t touch it.”

“I don’t understand. You said I could have died. Why?”

“Marks show as a tattoo, some black, some in colour, yours is black but it appeared so suddenly it burned the skin and caused an infection. The pain was so great that it took us a long time to control your heartbeat. That’s why we need to monitor you so closely.”

“How will I know who my soulmate is?” Dan asked, still unsure if he even wanted to know.

A male nurse in baby blue scrubs walked in and started checking the machines Dan was hooked on, but didn’t address him otherwise. Dan could have sworn the guy was just trying to listen in.

“I’m sorry, but the amount of people close to you at that moment was too great for us to know. You could use the old fashion method and give an interview, see if the person contacts you.”

“I just came out,” Dan said. “This was supposed to be my hot boy summer.”

The doctor blinked repeatedly.

Ok, so the doctor was straight; too bad. “I’m gay. I was excited to explore my options.”

“Oh, well - you can do that but there is a time limit for you to decide if you want to be with your soulmate or not. After that, it will be too late and your mark will fade.”

“Oh…”

“Well, in any case we need to keep you in observation for at least 24 hours, although it’s looking more like 48 with how angry your mark looks. If you need to ask me anything, the hospital has my number, don’t hesitate to call.”

“Right, thank you,” Dan said absentmindedly.

“Phil, make sure you add the vancomycin to his rotation, I left you a note about it.”

The nurse was startled when the doctor addressed him but nodded, pulling a note out of his pocket.

“You have the best nurse in London caring for you, Daniel, you are very lucky,” the doctor said and walked out of the room.

When Dan finally looked into the nurse’s eyes, he realised - “Were you the one that brought me here?”

“Uh, yes, that was me. I’m sorry about running into you. You seemed to be in a rush.”

“Oh, it was my fault. I was looking down at my phone.” Dan looked at Phil, the gorgeous nurse, watching him move around the room, checking his vitals and changing his meds. The scrubs did give him a fine ass. Then, he realised Phil had said something. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Your phone has been ringing. Could it be your partner?” He asked.

Dan laughed, shaking his head. “No, none of that. Would you happen to know where it is?”

Phil walked over to the chair where all of Dan’s clothes sat and grabbed it from his jacket pocket. It was then that Dan realised someone had seen him completely naked.

“Here you go,” he said, giving the phone to Dan.

“Thank you, nurse.”

“You can call me Phil,” he said, his voice a little high.

“Thank you, Phil,” Dan said and watched Phil blush a little but make no move to leave or even pretend to be busy, so he just checked his phone. He didn’t look up but he could have sworn Phil was looming over him trying to read his messages and calls.

“Fuck my life,” Dan said. “I’m going to be fired, if I haven’t been fired yet.”

“But - it was an emergency!” Phil said.

“I was already yelled at for being late and those times were not an emergency.” Dan almost dropped his phone when it started ringing again. He took the call immediately without thinking.

“Dan, where are you? I warned you that you could not keep coming in late. What is this? It’s ridiculous!”

“But-”

“No buts! You said you really wanted this job, I had other candidates in line for the position and I gave you a chance even though you were younger. I should have followed my guts and gone with someone else. You have disappointed me for the last time.”

“I’m 28, I’m not a f- a child! I just had an emergency!” Dan said, his eyes already blurring and his voice shaking. Yes, he was angry at himself and his boss whom he admired so much, but the disappointment comment was a bit too far. If he was going to fire Dan he could have just said so.

“Nothing is more important than your work, not if you take it seriously!”

Dan went to speak again but felt the phone being snatched from his hand. “Who is this?” Phil demanded, his eyes flashing with rage. “My name is nurse Phil Lester, you are upsetting my intensive care patient and if you don’t stop calling and harassing him, I will have the hospital contact the company.”

Phil sounded very convincing but Dan didn’t think that was a thing, and the way Phil frowned made him think that Phil had just made that up on the spot.

“No, I can’t disclose his medical information. Right,” Phil said, giving the phone back to Dan.

“H-Hello?” Dan asked.

“Dan, why didn’t you tell me you were at the hospital?”

“I tried but you didn’t let me speak. Also, I was unconscious!” Dan said.

“Is it bad?”

“I don’t know, really. They said I have an infection and I could have died.”

“Really?”

Dan would have to give his boss some credit, up to that point he had sounded curious, as if he was trying to learn some gossip, but that last piece of information seemed to have driven the message home. Now he sounded worried. “Yeah,” that’s what the doctor said.

“Wow. I guess you never think that can happen to you. Do you need anything?”

“If you could tell HR that I will be kept in observation for 48 hours, please.”

“Do they don’t know what it is?”

Dan bit his lip and looked at Phil out of the corner of his eye. He didn’t have to share anything he didn’t want but he needed to tell someone anyway and it was not like he had any friends. “I have a soulmate mark. It appeared so fast it burned my skin. That’s why I have an infection, and it affected my heart too.”

He heard a gasp on the other side of the line. “A soulmate mark? I’ve never heard of them hurting people.”

“Well, I guess I’m just lucky that way,” Dan said sarcastically.

After that, Dan told his boss he needed to sleep and hang up, after being assured that he would still have a job when he returned.

“This is not intensive care, is it?”

“No, I brought you here once we got you stable.”

“This is the best room I’ve ever gotten,” he commented.

“Well, it was free…” Phil trailed off.

Wow, knowing someone in health care could really get you places. “Thank you, Phil. I appreciate it. You saved me and brought me here.”

Phil waved his hand at him and sat on the side of his bed - which was a bit weird. “Oh, don’t worry. So, tell me, what do you do?”

“I work at Radio One, just entry level but I want to become a DJ.”

“That sounds fun! Do you like dogs?” Phil asked.

The topic changed so abruptly, Dan was taken aback. “Uh, yes, of course.”

“Look,” he said, giving Dan his phone. “This is my dog, Cheese.”

“You named your dog Cheese? Who does that?” Dan laughed, looking at the video of a corgi with a party hat eating a small cake.

“Someone who is allergic to dogs and lactose intolerant,” Phil smirked.

“Aw, sorry to hear that.”

“It’s fine, I hate cheese. I do love my dog, so I take allergy meds.”

“That’s smart,” Dan said, not knowing what else to add to the conversation. He didn’t want Phil to leave just yet, luckily, Phil could basically talk to himself.

“Do you play video games?”

“Yeah, I’m a massive nerd, I love Guild Wars, Final Fantasy, Apex Legends, but I also love the classics.”

“Mario Kart, Pokemon, Crash?”

“Yeah! You play them too?”

“Yeah. Ok,” he said, scooting a bit further up the bed. “Favourite pokemon?”

“What generation?”

“First.”

“Uhhhh. Charizar, yours?”

“Goldeen,” Phil said, giggling.

“Get out! You should have left me to die!”

“No, actually, Machoke.”

“That’s just a dude!” Dan laughed.

“If he’s good enough for the pokemum, he’s good enough for me.”

“That - is a questionable choice.”

“Hey, I should continue with my other patients, but do you need anything?”

“Is coffee out of the question?” Dan asked. Phil’s face transformed so laughed. “No, I was joking. Some chocolate from the vending machine, I guess?”

“Alright,” Phil said, rolling his eyes.

The rest of the night went by quite quickly. He was on a special low sodium diet for the time being so dinner was absolutely depressing, but he got the chocolate from Phil and also his Switch Light. He took pleasure in using Phil’s Mario Kart account to break all of his records.

Well, he did lose some games, but it was not because he was losing his gaming skills, he just could keep Phil out of his mind. He was way too cute, hot, funny and they had the same interests. Dan had to wonder if Phil would say yes to a date or not. It was probably frowned upon but it shouldn’t be the first time someone dated a former patient. Right?

He woke up way too early in the morning, wanting to pee and not knowing what to do. He slid to the side of his bed, setting his feet firmly on the ground and realised that he could walk perfectly fine, but he could bring the damn machines with him, so he grabbed his medicine hook, removed the sensors and went on his way.

He was just finishing up when he heard his bedroom door burst open and Phil’s desperate voice. Dan had seen him like 8 hours ago, it couldn’t be his shift again, right?

“Phil?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m in the bathroom, I wanted to pee. Sorry.”

“Oh, oh my god. I thought -” Phil laughed. “Do you need help? You should be up just yet?”

Dan’s mind was unhelpfully filthy so it took him a good 5 seconds to answer. “I’ll be right out.”

As promised, he made it out of the bathroom and Phil insisted on holding his hand until he was safely back on the bed, then he stuck all the sensors on his chest carefully, his hands almost caressing Dan’s chest before putting the most annoying one on his finger.

“If you need to get up, please reign the button next time so that we can help you.”

“Sorry,” Dan said, wiggling his entrapped finger.

“Don’t. Leave it,” Phil said firmly as he grabbed Dan’s wrist.

Dan wrapped his hand around Phil’s forearm and watched him hiss, immediately retrieving it. He frowned and looked into Phil’s eyes. He was wearing a long sleeve shirt under his scrubs so Dan couldn’t be sure, but the last 24 hours had been weird enough that this could actually be happening. “Phil?”

Phil looked away and covered Dan with the sheets, taking way too much time to tuck everything carefully.

“Is it you?”

“Am I what?” He asked with a sad look.

“Are you my soulmate?” Dan asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Phil shook his head. “It doesn’t have to mean anything. I understand that you are not looking for a relationship and this was traumatic-”

Dan sat up and Phil immediately panicked, trying to softly push at his chest, but Dan pulled him gently down until their lips touched ever so slightly. His heart monitor made a weird sound, making them both turn to look. Dan had never seen the medical representation of feeling fireworks go off inside you. “Again!” Dan said and Phil pressed a brief kiss to his lips. “Wow,” he whispered.

“Do you - I mean. What do you want to do? We can ignore this if you want you hot boy summer,” Phil said although his eyes told him that he did not like that option.

“What would hot boy summer be without a hot boyfriend and a dog to keep me company?” Dan smirked.

Phil’s eyes lit up and he let out a little laugh. “Alright, boyfriend. But you’ll need Cheese’s approval first.”

“Can’t wait,” Dan said, pulling Phil into a hug. For the first time in his life, he felt safe and complete.

#phanfiction #phanfic #phan #phan au #succubusphan fics #phandom gift exchange

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