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grantabdl · 26 days

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Going diapered 24/7.

Part 1: why I want to wear diapers full-time, as a 27 year-old

I’ve posted on here before that I recently started 24/7 diaper-wearing again. Well, I just hit 1 month of only wearing diapers, and using them exclusively for #1. So, I thought I would share my experience as to why I want to wear them. This is Part 1, which focuses on my history with diapers/accidents. Part 2 will focus on what it’s like now that I am 24/7 again.

I largely developed my desire to wear diapers because I had incontinence issues growing up. Specifically, I had “giggle incontinence” problems (I use quotations because, even years later, I find it difficult to admit that I have been incontinent for most of my life— but more on that later).

From the time I was “potty trained” (like 2.5-3 years old), I would wet myself whenever I laughed too hard— even if I didn’t feel like I had to go. It didn’t matter if I was laughing from a movie, or a joke, or even a bit of roughhousing with friends/family. And it never seemed to get better. Whenever I laughed too hard, I would completely void my bladder. I would wet myself at 18, just as I would when I was 4. I hated it. I hated the fact that laughing caused me so much stress. I hated knowing that watching a comedy movie would make me have accidents. Laughter is supposed to be fun— an expression of joy. But, for me, it just meant anxiety about hiding my accidents. Thankfully, I went to private schools my whole life; and, at all of them, we had to wear dark blue pants, which would hide wet stains pretty well. And, if an accident was too big, or difficult to hide, I could change without many people noticing (I always had a change in my lockers; or in a bag that I would pack for soccer). On a few occasions, I would also “spill” a drink onto my lap to cover up the wetness. If I wet myself during soccer, I would deliberately slide into mud to hide any stain on my shorts. I became so used to hiding accidents that it was just part of life.

At home, it was harder to hide. I was scolded more times than I can count for having accidents. I was told (at 18) that I “need to get ‘whatever *this* is under control” before college; and I was told (many times, as a teen— until I was 17 or 18) that, if I didn’t stop having issues, I’d be forced to wear diapers.

I still remember my first time being told that diapers were a possibility. They were presented as a punishment, or some kind of response to a perceived personal failure. I was about 11 years old, and with my mom, who knew that I had bladder problems (but not the extent of them, or what caused them). I mentioned that I needed to pee; and she treated it like a fire drill, because she had washed a pair of pee-stained underwear the day before, and had confronted me about it that morning— at that time, she knew I had issues with wetting, but she just thought I would randomly pee. There was no communication, because it was taboo for me to tell her about my problems. She would just tell me that I needed to “get over it,” whenever I would try to talk— though, I stopped trying to talk when I was about 10, and just started trying to hide the issue. So, on this day at the store (or any other day), she didn’t know that I never had issues holding it when I just had to pee— I only had accidents when I laughed too hard. But, returning to the story: she rushed me though the store like it was a fire drill; and I wasn’t too concerned. I had only mentioned needing to go, because I didn’t know where the bathroom was. Because I was unconcerned, I was drinking a coke as we walked (or, more aptly, ran) to the bathroom. As I took a sip, she smacked me over the head, and scolded me “you need to pee and you’re drinking a fucking coke, you idiot.” It was so funny, in the moment, that I bent over, laughing and wetting my pants. After the accident, I went to the car and she just bought me new pants. But, on the way home, I was scolded and told that I didn’t understand the severity of what was happening. I was told that I’d have to wear diapers if it kept happening. I never got the chance to explain what was going on, or what I wanted to do.

Looking back, I wish that her threat was true. No matter how many accidents I had— whether known or unknown— I never got a bit of protection. Not a diaper; nor a pad; nor even a “maybe we should see a doctor about this.” Instead, I hid them; and if my parents found a sign of an accident (wet underwear or pants) it was treated as me being wrong— like I wanted to piss myself.

So, I developed an infatuation with diapers, because they felt like the answer to my issue. I started to think, “if I’m going to be threatened with diapers, doesn’t that mean they’re a solution to my problem— even if that solution is embarrassing.” But, the threat never became reality. This line of thought started when I was 12-13. I remember googling “can a teen need diapers” or “is it normal to pee yourself as a teenager.”

When I was 16, I got my driver’s license, and while my parents were away for work, I did what all future ABDL’s do. I drove to Walmart, and bought my first pack of depends. I had already seen ABDL porn (as a result of the aforementioned google searches), and knew that it turned me on. So, I can’t say the purchase was entirely to relax my stress from accidents. By that time, my laughing accidents had even calmed down a bit— I was only having issues a few times a month. But, as soon as I tried them, I loved the feeling of diapers— both sexually and for the relief they brought. I even remember putting one on for the first time, and feeling like all the stress in the world had melted away. The first thing I did when I got home, was watch “Step Brothers” which only a few years before, had made me wet myself with laughter 4-5 times when I first saw it. The contrast in those experiences, was insane. I felt so “okay” with myself in the diaper, whereas I hated myself when I was failing to hold an accident when I first saw Will Ferrell rub his nuts on a drum set 😂

I mentioned that my accidents slowed down around 16-17, and that’s true. By the time I was 18-19, it was a once-per-year kind of thing, and I spent college mostly dry, but still infatuated by diapers. That’s when I really started exploring ABDL on social media, and considering it a kink that I wanted to be involved with. But, I was in a fraternity at the time; so I only got to indulge wit it on occasion. It was more of a “see don’t do” experience at the time.

But, when I went to law school, I was on my own for the first time. I had my own apartment; and plenty of money to enjoy my fetish. I started getting more involved with the community; and I started wearing diapers more often, when I was alone.

Because of law school stress, and the drinking culture that surrounds it, it wasn’t uncommon for me to come home, and put on a diaper, to decompress while drunk. After a few months, I started wearing every night when I didn’t have friends over. My (almost) nightly routine was to throw on a diaper, grab a beer (or 5), and smoke a blunt on my apartment’s roof. Without even realizing it, I followed the exact steps that you will see on here to become a bedwetter— getting used to diapers; wetting in any position; and drinking lots before bed.

Looking back, it’s unsurprising, that this routine turned into me developing a bedwetting habit. At first, I think it was psychological— like I would wake up slightly, realize I was in a diaper, and wet before going back to sleep. But, I started wetting when I wasn’t wearing to bed; and I even had accidents with friends/hook-ups in bed with me. I always blamed it on alcohol, until I eventually confessed to one friend that I had incontinence issues and a diaper fetish— but she was incredibly considerate. I think this is when I started thinking that it was okay to wear diapers— due to both real accidents, and personal desires.

Around this time, I also focused my serious dating relationships on people in the ABDL community. A few were surprised when they realized I was actually a bedwetter, since it’s such a common trope/fantasy within the community. That really helped me embrace this part of me; and I’ll always be grateful for those who were involved.

About 2 years ago, I started working from home when I became in-house counsel and left litigation to do transactional work. And, with some help, I decided to go 24/7 at that time. This lasted for several months, but I don’t think I ever fully committed to it at the time.

But, a month ago, and after a lot of thinking, my wonderful mommy and I decided that I should try 24/7 again. She’s incredibly supportive, and has helped me realize this is something I should do.

I realize now that medical issues made me incontinent as a kid/teen. And that hatred of being incontinent manifested itself in me searching for a solution (albeit, one that was presented as a sign that there was something wrong with me).

Earlier today, I was texting my mommy; and I told her that I feel like going 24/7 now, is a “redo” of past experiences. I wish I had diapers when I was younger. But they were always presented as a sign that there was something wrong with me; and they were never actually offered as a solution— just a threat. But, now, I get to wear diapers. while accepting that being incontinent was just part of who I was/am. When I was a teenager, I would’ve killed to make the accidents go away. And, while I was told to dread the idea of diapers, I also came to view them as a saving grace.

I’ll post more in part 2. But I suppose I just wanted to vent about my experiences, and how I got to this stage.

#babyspace #diaperboy #peepants #babyboy #ab dl #incontinence #incontinent boy

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