#part of me is scared his phone broke or sumn and that is scary bc he has no social media so we talk thru text and that is literally it
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I don't think I could ever live by myself. Actually, I know I can't. I've known for a while. It's been a fear of mine for a long time. My guy has been M.I.A. for almost a week now and my roommate is at his gfs place for the night. So I'm here on a Friday night completely by myself, working overtime and trying not to have an anxiety attack about where my man is. My mind gets so dark and I feel so alone and scared about my future and it's literally only been one day of me by myself. I would never make it living alone lol.
#i'm used to my guy just ending conversations abruptly when he needs a break or some time to himself#sometimes it's just bc the convo is dying or he doesn't know what to say#but he ALWAYS at least reads my messages even if he doesn't reply#but my messages being on “delivered” for almost a week now?? when we were in an active convo literally two minutes before hand?#just feels weird#part of me is scared his phone broke or sumn and that is scary bc he has no social media so we talk thru text and that is literally it#if he lost his numbers somehow and also had to change his number there would be no way for us to communicate and that terrifies me more than#i expected#but also that seems like a ridiculous scenario and i need to chill#maybe he just accidentally muted the notifications for me and he hasn't noticed i messaged him#sometimes we can go a week or two without texting so it's not weird for him to not have checked his texts or felt it was weird that he#hasn't heard from me#made the mistake of telling my anxiety filled friends and two of them were like “i would be worried that he died”#which don't even get me fucking started on that possibility#i know i could call him but we literally haven't spoken on the phone in 6 years#it might come off weird af it turns out he just muted me by accident he would think i'm just calling out of the blue#and we're not in a relationship so it might come off even weirder if i explain how worried i was 🙃#ramblings
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