resonating with abed a little bit TOO much recently, because i too feel like i’ve been passing through life never really understanding the people around me and never really understanding myself, either. Connecting with society through movies and tv and using what I’ve analysed in film to try and make sense of people, yet still being thrown in a loop whenever someone does something I can’t personally ever imagine my own self doing.

and THEN, finding someone who I thought I understood perfectly and vice versa. Finally finding someone who’s mannerisms I could read like a large print book and who’s thoughts i could click together like lego. I felt like i could be fluently understood without any reasoning, like we were both speaking some language only we knew. Loving every moment i spent with them as if it was some sort of sacred experience I may never get to see again- but being ensured that this was forever. Yet, inevitably, being chucked back in the loop when they still leave and I find myself slowly forgetting words in a language that used to feel like second nature.

when the unhealthy homoromantic friendship got yu that bad your therapist had to treat your separation like a bereavement and is teaching you coping mechanisms for grief

most humiliating/humbling/worst situation of my entire life atm is confidently telling a restaurant waiter that im paying for the meal for me and a female friend i’d spent the day with- and then not being able to pay when she told me the cost 😍😍

“yeah, I’ll be paying today 😎”

“Okay! that’ll be £31.”

“…w..what-?”

not being able to move on sucks ass for obvious reasons but mainly because i can’t watch those movies anymore, can’t finish that tv show or look at those characters the same because it all leads back to him no matter how i approach it