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kuromitos · 2 years

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A Man's job is hard to do when you're pretending to be one

Summary:After tragedy strikes her life,Kurumi Minami takes it upon her to improve herself by getting stronger, she does it by joining the shinsengumi. Only problem? She have to pretend to be a man.

Pairings: Gintoki Sakata x OC, Toshirou Hijikata x OC

W.C: 4k

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Chapter 6:Never overspends a gorilla's money

"So what's this big surprise you have for me?" We just got back from the shopping center, Otae was taking her shoes off at the door when she asked me. I smiled at her as a quick response before giving her a verbal one. "These are the big surprises but I want to show them to both you and Shinpachi." I put my bags in the main room and went towards the door. "If you're going to look for Shin-chan, he's not here now. He's at odd jobs around this time." Otae came from the kitchen after putting up the groceries she bought and sat down at the table. "Oh Yeah? Then we have to wait for that surprise. We don't have to be bored while doing it though,I got some other things from today that I can't wait to show you." As much as I was excited to show off my new uniform, I'm kinda more excited to show off my new stuff. I just know she'll love them as much as I do.

"Oh my~ you must of had a good shopping trip,Kurumi-chan." I go to sit at the table with my bags and start digging through the bags. Picking which one to show off first. "You bet I did! Just look at this stuff I found!" I finally found the perfect thing to show off first. This adorable stuffed pig I found.

"Ain't he just the cutest? Imma name him chopper. Looks like a chopper. I also got these cute hair clips shaped like stars! They were only 500 yen! Can you believe it!? So cheap! Found these bath sponges that look like bears; I couldn't resist buying them, I just had to." I kept rambling on about my new stuff that I didn't realize there's was a murderous intent. Actually, I did realize it. I just didn't notice till my head was being crushed under Otae's foot.

"WHAT THE HELL IS ALL THIS CRAP?!? WHERE'S THE STUFF YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GET?? I TOOK TO THE CENTRE TO GO SHOPPING FOR CLOTHES, NOT USELESS SHIT YOU DON'T NEED!" "Wait! I can technically use this stuff for some-" "NO YOU CAN'T IDIOT!'' Her foot got heavier on my head as she stomped harder. "BESIDES,YOU PRETENDING TO BE A MAN,REMEMBER? WHY DID YOU GET NOTHING BUT WOMEN STUFF?!?" There's my opening. "Actually I did buy some kimonos on sale. I bought three of them-" "YOU NEED MORE THAN THREE IF YOU PLAN ON LIVING HERE!" "Anuene! Minami-san! I'm back home. I brought Kagura with me too...I'll come back later." "SHINPACHI HELP ME!"

"*hiss* That stings Kagura! Be gentle,please." Who would've known that someone's foot could leave that deep of a wound on your head? Well,it is Otae. I should have known. "You need to stay still, Minami-san. The heel print is pretty deep so it's going to hurt." "Trust me,Shinpachi-kun. I know. What I don't understand is why your sister got mad at me? I did what you wanted me to do."

I turn my head to look at Otae and see her still have that irritated look on her face. I tried to pry my defense some more but my head was forcefully turned back to stare straight ahead by Kagura who was muttering under her breath telling me to stay still. "I told you to buy clothes and stuff you need, not random crap that you thought was cute. What do you need a stuffed pig for?" "....emotional support." I hear Shinpachi begging for his sister to calm down and Kagura holding me head close to her for protection so it's safe to say that my answer made Otae's mood worse than before.

After feeling a few pats on the head,"All done" Kagura finishes patching my head. I mutter a quick thanks to her as I feel my head. This is the second time she had to fix me up. Hope I don't make a habit of it. I turn around to talk to Otae only to see both her and Shinpachi dumping my new stuff on the ground.

"Hey hey! What are you guys doing?" "Seeing what needs to be taken back." Otae said while glaring at the stuff on the floor, "That pig is the first to go." '' Leave choppers out of these!" I try to grab him but Otae won't let up by holding my hands. She is going to leave a mark if doesn't let go.

"Anuene, give her some credit. I'm sure she didn't just buy random stuff today." Shinpachi told her as he rummaged through the bags. Yes! Shinpachi on my side. Help me out here. The first thing he picks up is … a two piece violet pajama set. Not off to a good start.

"Let's see what else in here" pulls out a peach scented body wash in a teddy bear shaped bottle with a matching shampoo and conditioner set. I pressed my lips in a tight line out of embarrassment as my defense wasn't doing so great and my items aren't helping in the slightest and I'm still trying to get out of Otae's Death Grip.

"There's got to be something in here that isn't feminine-" last item he pulls out is a yellow bra and panties that he throws right back in. "You think the store is still open at this hour,Anuene?" "Noooooooo!!"

I finally broke out of the gorilla grip that Otae had on my arms and grabbed my stuff back from Shinpachi. The moment I had them in my hands, I went as far away from them as I could in this room. "You can't just return my stuff like that!" "Yes we can. We just need the receipt." "THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!"

Clutching the bag close to my chest while Shinpachi gets near me. "I get that I bought some stuff I didn't need and I'm sorry. I just got too excited and went overboard, but this stuff in this bag is useful and can be helpful to me. so don't make me take it back!" During my whole rant I was dodging Shinpachi hands trying to grab the bag. "I understand that Minami-san but you were supposed to buy yourself some clothes," he almost got me but sidestep him and ran toward the other corner of the room. "And I did buy clothes!" "Only two! You need more than that for a wardrobe!" "Say the boy who's been wearing the same striped kimono since I met him!" "Hey! I have other clothes in my closet!" Ducked under his arm, stretched out towards me and ran toward the entry to the outside. "We just need to return the feminine stuff and replace it with male stuff. It's to help you blend in as a man." I turned towards him to reply back with retort but I didn't say anything back because someone grabbed my foot, causing me to fall on my face and drop the bag.

Ow… that hurts. I looked up and turned my head to see the culprit. Kagura was staring at me with those big blue eyes of hers. That cute face of hers is pissing me off. I turn back to see otae grab my bag again and say "I'll be taking this with me. You sure are stubborn and over the dumbest of things." I finally sit up and rub my nose from how sore it is. "Not my best traits but it's too late to change it." Otae put the pajamas I bought and the underwear on the table and went towards the door. "Where you going, Anuene?" Shinpachi asked her. She smiled at him and replied "I'm going to get our money back from this crap. You can keep those clothes since they're just stuff to wear here but everything else is going back. I'll be back soon." And leave the house.

I feel both Shin and Kagura looking at me and I couldn't help but to pout out of frustration. I really did want that stuff. "You shouldn't act like that." Shinpachi said as he sat down at the table with both me and Kagura, "at least she let you keep these pajamas and that stuff pig.'' He's right but I'm not saying that. "She didn't have to get that upset about it. I didn't even get to show my surprise." "What surprise?" They both said to me, Which I smiled as a response. "Let me show you guys." I ran out with the bag Matsudaira gave me and headed towards my room to change into the uniform. I waited in the hallway for suspense and popped up in the doorway. "Surprise! I just got it today! What do you guys think?" "Wow! I was right. You are pretty scrawny for a guy. Almost think you're a chick.'' A new voice spoke out and it belonged to Gintoki?!? "What are you doing here? How did you even get in here?" Gintoki just digs his finger in his ear, not even listening to me but Shinpachi answers for him "I let him in, Aiyama-san." I relaxed a little because he used my fake name but was still on edge with Gintoki's comment about my body. This uniform is kinda tight on me, shows my curves too much. "Alright. This is your house, Shinpachi-kun. Good thing he's here though." I put my hands on my hips to show off my uniform more. "He can see how I'm officially a shinsengumi officer! Got the uniform today and I'm meeting the squad tomorrow!" I explained with a smirk on my face. "That's great Kento! I knew you could do it!" Kagura cheers for me with Shinpachi smiling along. I turned towards Gintoki for his reaction, expecting him to be shocked or surprised but he still had that dead fish eye look. Piss me off just seeing it. "How exactly did you manage that huh? Pretty impressive for someone asking for help to get their attention." Like I'll tell him anything. I'll make it vague and mysterious just to mess with him. "He saved some higher ups daughter from a car crash. He asked for a position in the ranks as a reward." Kagura told him in which he replied with a smirk "Oh yeah? Looks like dumb luck strikes again" with a annoying laugh to boot. I really want to punch his guy right now.

But while I was planning a murder in my head, Shinpachi said something that actually made me think. " Wait a minute, didn't you say that you were still learning how to use a sword? What if they want to test your skills tomorrow to see if you can actually join?"

…Huh? A test? Why didn't I think of that? If that actually happened I'd be screwed to hell and back! "You're being dramatic, Aiyama-san."

I know some sword skills from Master but I don't think that's enough to impress the shinsengumi. I need to ask someone but who? "Aiyama-san, you really need to fix your talking aloud habit. We heard all of that." "He's really pathetic,huh Kagura?" "Yeah…"

*sigh* I hate to hear it but it's true. Shinpachi put his hand on my shoulder and smiled at me "You don't have to worry too much. We can help you with that." Hearing that at first may make me happy but then I realize who was supposed to be helping me.

"This is our family dojo. Before he died, my father was teaching swordsmanship here and I was one of his students. So I thought it would be a good idea to help you freshen up your sword skills before tomorrow while maybe teaching you some new stuff in the process. How does that sound?" "That sounds great, Shinpachi-kun! I can't be happier with your help. But…" I turned my head to look behind to see Gintoki and Kagura sitting down on the dojo floor, watching us both "Shouldn't he be helping too and not just dig for gold in that cave he calls a nose?" Said person didn't react much besides flick his boogers somewhere and just stared back at me with an annoyed look. "Did you have memory loss since we last talked? I said it back then and I'll say it again, I want nothing to do with this and you got your teacher right there. I'll just be here for support." Code word for 'I'll just nap while the others do the work'. Lazy bastard but I'm not going to let him bother me now, I need to focus on training. I grab a wooden sword and get into a fight stance. "I'm ready when you are, Shinpachi." He did the same thing as me and started to attack.

It started with a swing from the front and a block on my end then some hits from me which he blocked as well. Like I said, I wasn't a newbie when it came to swordsmanship. So this fight isn't that difficult, I would say I'm about on par with Shinpachi. Not by much but I still can keep up with him. I remember the words my Master told me when I first started. 'It's about speed and strength. If you can handle those two things, you can handle yourself in combat'. Me and Shinpachi are around the same height and built, so strength isn't an issue. Speed is my ace in the hole here. I start to see an opening near his chest so I go for the strike until I feel a hard hit on my head that stops my whole body. Directly on my wound from earlier too.

"Oww! What the hell!?" I clutch my head and turn to see Gintoki with a sword in hand. He hit me? What for? "What happened to being here for support? That means not doing anything and being quiet! You just had to hit me on my head! That really hurts, you know!" I shouted at him, tears brimming in my eyes from the pain. "You were getting too cocky there. You left yourself open for attack from behind. If this was an actual fight, you would be dead" He scolded me even though I knew it was bullshit. "Yeah maybe if I had eyes on the back of my head. You did a complete surprise attack on me. I didn't even know you were there. That's not fair." "You think a joui rebel is going to be fair when you fight them?" This guy! So annoying and frustrating! But he kinda has a point.

"Don't mind him, Aiyama-san. We can see your swords skills are doing good from that fight. But your defense isn't the best. Let's work on that for awhile.'' My eyes went wide hearing that. My defense? But I thought it was decent. I can't really argue with him on it. Best to just go with it. I nodded my head as I got back in my spot from early except in a defensive stance. I turned my head backwards to check on Gintoki, to make sure he doesn't pull the funny business again. Still sitting there next to Kagura and it better stay that way. Turn back and get in the stance again shouting 'Ready!' to signal Shinpachi to start.

Hit after hit I make sure to block them from each direction they are coming from. With only minor slips, I've been doing good so far until some interference popped up. 'Hey? Is that a bug?' 'Ew! Where? Where is it?' *wham* got whacked in the side of my head because of a fake bug warning. "Aiyama-san! I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hit you so hard. You okay?" Shinpachi asked with concern that was replaced with annoyance towards the 'interference'

"Why you did that, Gin-san? What for?" Gintoki didn't flinch with all eyes on him and simply leaned on the wall with his arms crossed, "I thought I saw something but it was a false alarm, that's all. But Kentaro, you can't be that distracted. How embarrassing it would be if you got killed over a little bug." That arrogant smirk on his face makes me wish this was a real sword so I can show him how distracted I actually am in a fight. This guy has been nothing but shitty and unhelpful since I met him and it's getting old,pretty fast. He never hides the fact that he doesn't like me or my ideas, so the question is what the hell is he still doing and what his damn problem?

Before I could ask him though, Kagura stands up and gets in front of him with a pretty pissed off look. "Why are you so mean to Kento,Gin-chan?" Shinpachi and I were shocked hearing her stand up for me, considering how long I knew her it was surprising. "You misunderstand, Kagura-chan. I'm not being mean to him. It is just blunt criticism. I'm just looking out for him. " Oh that's utter bullshit. He can convince Kagura with that lie but not me. He's not looking out for me, he's the main enemy!

I marched up to him and stabbed my finger in his chest which kinda hurts since it was hard. "You call that blunt criticism!? Whacked in the head like a damn piñata? Distracting me? Been a jackass to me since we met?! If that's your definition, then I don't want to know what you call abuse!" Based on his face, I can tell my country hick accent is coming out, always does when I'm seriously pissed, but hearing what comes out of his mouth just set me off even more "if you got a problem with that, you not going to like what I'm thinking about that stupid accent." This guy! I grabbed his collar and balled it in my fist

"Just what the hell is your problem,huh? I'm sick and tired of this shitty treatment you've been dishing out at me! All I did was ask for your help with this! I've even stopped you guys when you obviously lied to me about the shinsengumi!" Supposedly since it was Kagura that told me that.

"Yet here you are trying to messing with me and for what? What's your deal? Why won't you actually help me instead of being an ass to me?! Help me!" I shouted at him with all the anger I had inside of me. But in reply to it, I get his uninterested blank expression and a sentence that left me speechless, "why would I help a idiot go straight to his death?"

Huh?

Gintoki grabbed my wrist tightly to the point I winced,making me let go of his shirt and pushed me off of him. "I've seen enough of this little training arc to understand that you never actually fought anyone before. You can't take pain, barely can handle this, and you expect me to help get in with them? Do you actually understand what you are trying to get yourself into?" He turned his back to me, heading towards the door slowly. "Those guys have to go out and fight thugs,terrorists and generally morons that might be their last moments. They do that everyday and have been doing that since they got here and you want to join them to get stronger? You're wasting your time and your life joining them when there's other way you can fulfill this dream of yours. I'd rather help you find that than sending you to your death."

Gintoki….

Silence was overwhelming in this dojo, hearing Gintoki's words. Those words that echo throughout the empty dojo. Hearing those words from him made the two kids look at him with sympathetic and understanding eyes. Saying that they finally understand their boss's behavior throughout these few days. While I have so many emotions going through me right now. The man who has been rude and horrible to me since I got here by discouraging me and making fun of me, was trying to look out for me

What a ….

I stand up slowly and grab the practice sword beside me

What a ….

Lift it up above me head and ran

A piece of shit!!

Straight towards that bastard's head and hit and hit him as hard as I can, sending that cotton ball flying out into the garden.

"YOU THINK I DON'T ALREADY KNOW ALL THAT STUFF ABOUT MYSELF!? IF YOU ACTUALLY TRIED HELPING ME OUT, YOU WOULD KNOW I'VE SOME SKILLS AND TRY TO HANDLE CRAP FASTER THAN YOU CAN DISH IT OUT! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING FROM SOME BUM WHO WON'T DO SHIT! I GOT SOME TRAINING TO DO!"

I slammed the door and turned around to see Shinpachi and Kagura staring at me with wide eyes and everything. "You heard me, didn't ya?! Let's finish this training and actually get some stuff done with no distraction! Kagura! Let's do pain endurance training! Give me all you got!" I commands and with a salute and a smile she said 'yes ma'am' while Shinpachi went 'wait! Not a good idea!'

---

The sun was setting in the sky, giving it a beautiful golden orange color, by the time Otae made it home from the shopping center. Kurumi surprisingly went to a lot of stores in a short amount of time, and it took her a whole afternoon to return everything. "Shin-chan! Kurumi-chan! I'm home!" Nothing but silence in return to her call. Walks into the living room and sees nobody there but does find a shopping bag. Otae thought she took everything back today. What's this?

Her curiosity got the best of her because she knelt down to look inside the bag. She finds a shinsengumi officer uniform inside, 'This must have been the big surprise she was talking about ' She thought to herself while finding other things like tank tops and medical tape. She smiled and put everything back.

Then she remembered what Shinpachi told her that morning, something about training. So she heads towards the dojo expecting to hear fighting and swords clashing but instead hear nothing and see Gintoki standing outside of the dojo. "Gin-san? What are you doing out here?" "I've been kicked out for being a distraction. I was only trying to help." "Knowing you and him, your advice wasn't much help and made things tough." Otae said about to open the sliding door to the dojo but She stopped due to Gintoki having a question.

"Otae. Why did you pick up that stray?" "Because when I saw him, I knew he was too dumb to be left alone. I needed to help him." "You should have left him out there. That bumpkin doesn't know how to take care of himself. Maybe he would have learned some common sense. Thinking people are going to help just because you ask nicely? What a childish way of logic." Gintoki says in a annoyed tone with his arms crossed and eyes close. "That's true but it's part of his charm." Otae replied with a close eye smile.

"Having charm isn't going to help with him being an officer." Looking at her smile, Gintoki couldn't help but to ask another question.

"Why are you helping him anyway? I know he is getting on your nerves with that charm of his' ' Otae was a bit hesitant to answer because there was some truth to his statement but she still answered. "He's a clumsy, simple minded,irresponsible, stupidly stubborn person with a ridiculous amount of pride andstays in his own head for too long." Paused for a moment, remembering everything up to this point in time. Smiling due to those moments. "But when they explained everything to me, why he was so desperate to do this, I could see a determined man who was willing to fight for his goals," thinking back on when she caught a glance at Kurumi's training in the park, "even when there's obstacles, he keep going and think that enough to help him be a great officer. " She opens the sliding door to the dojo and giggles seeing what's inside, which catches Gintoki's attention enough to look in too. "Besides, he's not too bad of a guy. You just need time to get used to him." "Well, I'm not sure if he has time" Gintoki replied with his usual deadpan face, looking at Kento sleeping on the floor,Kagura laying on his arm and Shinpachi on his stomach.

Tagging: @toi-yama @chil2de @strawberrymilkie

#gintama #sakata gintoki #gintoki sakata #gintama oc #shimura shinpachi #kagura #kagura yato #otae shimura #gintama fanfiction #original writing #original character

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