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#or when i have no prefference. thats why i always overqualify.
pizzapizzadickz · 3 years
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#i feel so self concious sometimes#like im doing everything wrong#i try to explain everything to the extreme. but i feel like a dool for doing so.#my mom misunderstands me a lot. and gets mad easily. like when i say i dont know...#or when i have no prefference. thats why i always overqualify.#i wish i didnt worry so muxh.#its getting harder to eat food again#wverything hurts. i think i ate two meals today?#just milk & cookies. 3 eggs. toast. a latte. and spagetti.#when i eat like this it kinda triggers something in me#i just wanna never eat again and loose a bunch of weight.#but if i keep it up ill be nausous all the time...#ah fuck. its hard to not have disordered eating ontop of already pretth bad stomach troubles#i honestly dont know what to do#i have to start making things i can eat but its so hard to know what i can#i dont wanna get my stomach scoped.#i really need to make a huge list with all my health problems.#...if anyone will listen to me.#im always in pain too and i know that the amount of painkillers i take isnt good sometimes#everything sucks. and theres nothing i can do about it#like. this cant even be concidered a chonic illness. its just. my body not working right.#i dont enjoy this.#everything hurts always.#i want it to end.#diary#personal#like seriously i have to keep on self dx bc no one will take me seriously and all my health problems evaporate into thin air sometimes#like nothings so bad i cant function. but i also avoid various things bc i just cant do it anymore#where do i draw the line. at what point of horrible will doctors listen to me?#ugh. fuck. this sucks.
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