#oooh a route where she tries to seduce you.... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dotster001 · 21 days

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I love the idea that Sirena doesn’t really like any of her kids, she wanted a perfect doll vs a child. Reminds me of Riddle’s mom. After each kid started to show their true personality vs a babbling baby, she would start talking about another baby, not cause she wanted another but because this last one was « defective » I bet Floyd has huge screaming matches with her over if they should punish the kids for a bad grade, or « looking bad » in public.

Picture Sirena learning about poor reader, and now you have a beautiful woman holding a knife to your neck while Floyd barters for your life! Maybe to mess with Floyd she hires you as a gardener! They’re being super toxic towards eachother while trying to get you to fall for the other! Kids need a mother/father figure in their lives after all! If something were to happen they hope you would be willing to step up!

Warning: toxic Sirena, also this turned into a ramble,

Yeah. She and Floyd hate each other, but if she wants to ever be head of the Leech family, (after Papa Leech dies, and after she finishes her plan to kill Floyd) she needs an heir. Otherwise the position will go to Jade. As it is, she is very nervous that Papa Leech is leaning towards co ownership between the twins, and she can't have that.

Unfortunately, thanks to Floyd's influence, these kids all have a stupid flaw, free will. It's ridiculous really. Don't they know their whole purpose is to be her pawn?

She knows the Leech family reputation, and while Floyd has yet to go to the lengths she has to get rid of her, she knows there's a possibility that one day he'll finally snap and take her down. In fact she's a little surprised it has taken this long, considering the way she's seen Jade and Azul seriously quietly talking to Floyd, and throwing glances her way from time to time. Every time they have those "chats" Floyd always just sighs and rolls his eyes. It tells her all she needs to know. She's safe right now. Though she had, in her youth, hoped to be engaged to Jade, she knows now that she's lucky, and begrudgingly owes Floyd one, because Jade would have killed her by now if it wasn't for Floyd's protection.

And she knows where that protection comes from. Her family has it's own connections, so she learned, just as the twins did, how to play people like a chessboard. Floyd is lonely. Floyd hopes that one day, no matter how much they hate each other, they will one day fall in love and be a normal family. Also, Floyd spent his whole life dreaming of a big family. And she needs lots of children so that she doesn't lose her position to Jade when the time comes. So, she doesn't mind letting him have his big family, hell, it may be the reason she is still breathing. Until she realizes how strong Leech genetics are. None of these kids are worthy. None are good enough. And Floyd doesn't help by refusing to betrothe them to people who are worthy. (These are the largest screaming battles. Floyd refuses to let his children be miserable like he is)

It's after the birth of the youngest that she starts to formulate an idea of how to get rid of him, then send the brats to a school where manners and decorum will be pounded into them.

....

As to beautiful woman holding a knife to my throat, ehehehehehhe that's definitely a thought. When I was making her picrew, I had an "Oh no, she's hot" moment, so tbh, if she held a knife to my throat I would be so distracted 😂 like, TWO pretty people are putting attention on me? Wowie wow wow!

She's so petty, she totally would hire you to work in her house, and not tell Floyd. Then she'd sit smugly as he freaks out when he finds you cleaning a toilet or something. I have ideas in place for you looking for a new job because "the economy", and you don't tell Floyd you're quitting, cause why would you, he's just a customer. Then he gets furious, because this must mean you hate him, how dare you, yadda yadda

But what if, when you are starting to think about quitting, this gorgeous woman comes in and just happens to be looking for a new housekeeper. You don't tell Floyd, cause why would you he's just a customer etc etc, he still gets crazy angry (as do the kids).

Sirena may be a terrible person, and someone who shouldn't be a mother, but she is an excellent lady of the house. She knows everyone's day to day schedule so that she can successfully keep you away from literally anyone but her until the absolutely perfect moment. You could be working in that house for months before you ever see a soul besides her.

She's a horrible person, and yells at you all the time for literally no reason, but the pay is ridiculously good, so leaving doesn't feel like an option. Besides, she says this is only her winter and spring home, and that they are a family of mers, and would totally be willing to take you with them when they return to their ocean home for summer and fall. And you've always wanted to visit the ocean, but never had the funds yourself, so you really can't pass up the opportunity. You can deal with some emotional distress for the opportunity of a lifetime.

It's probably Jade (Jr.) that finds you first. He's the youngest, and therefore hardest to predict, so it's hard for Sirena to keep him in check. But because he's the youngest, no one believes him when he says that he saw mom/dad cleaning his room. Pearl sees you next when she's ditching a social function, and from there the whole house knows.

Except papa.

Papa is still trying to track you down like a blood hound. He doesn't realize you are literally living in his home... because he himself is rarely home.

But the showdown is coming.

And you, who still is blissfully unaware of the trap you are in, are not ready for what's coming.

#dilf floyd leech #twisted wonderland #sirena leech #should prolly give her a tag now 😂#oooh a route where she tries to seduce you....#(it would work on me I'm weak)

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birdsthatsingaftermidnight · 4 years

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So, we’re watching Return of the Jedi

The alarm going off has nothing to do with the force field being down and everything to do with Darth Vader arriving. AWOOOGA AWOOOGA WEAR LOOSE COLLARED SHIRTS SO AS NOT TO GIVE HIM IDEAS.

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"I hope so, Commander, for your sake. Don't make me promote you to Admiral so I can kill you and promote someone else to Admiral in your place!"

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"Ne wanga wanga" tentatively translated as "We don't buy at the door."

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"Look, R2! It's Captain Solo! And he's no longer frozen in carbonite! Now he's stored in a massive Irn Bru bottle as a conversation piece!"

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Enter Princess Leia - Space BADASS. Seriously, I watched this when I was five or so and she made such an impact on me.

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Whatever language that is, it doesn't half make "yoto" work for it.

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It's Lando Calrissian! Cunningly disguised by covering his chin. Well DONE, Lando!

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Han Solo falls to the ground, blind and shivering. "I can't see." "Shh. You’re over-reacting to the flu. Take some paracetamol and GET UP."

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"Ho ho ho!" "What's that?" "Oh no! It's SANTA!"

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Chewbacca: "Rarrr!" Tentative translation: "It's only a COLD! Will you PLEASE stop going ON!"

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Luke's not doing anything to the Space D&D Orcs - they're just painfully shy and don't like being pointed at.

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Luke's soft voiced instructions and Bib Fortuna repeating them is great.

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Why doesn't Huttese have words for "Old", "Mind" and "Trick"? I can buy not bothering to translate "Jedi" but otherwise it's just plain lazy.

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I always felt sorry, even as a kid, for the Rancor keeper. I mean, yes, he does enjoy watching the beasty eat people up, but he's SO SAD that his pet is dead! I hope he got a puppy or something to keep him company.

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And where on earth are they going to find a shoe box big enough to bury him in the sad patch behind the shed?

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What makes the Sarlak all-powerful? It's a toothy hole in the ground. It's not like he's going to come over there and get you if you don't stop talking shit.

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Han Solo's dialogue from "I think my eyes are getting better" to "he'll get no such pleasure from us. Right?" is beautiful.

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Bobba Fett - terrifying bounty hunter or space idiot? YOU DECIDE!

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PRINCESS LEIA.

SPACE.

BADASS.

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"Let's go. And don't forget the droids. And somebody lend Leia a t-shirt."

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Yoda: "Twilight is upon me. Read them I have. Will to live lost. Mmmm."

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Why does Luke have to confront Vader again in order to be a Jedi? It seems so arbitrary. Luke: "Instead of confronting Vader, can't I do like three moderately difficult things instead? Drain the swamp. Give you a mani-pedi. I don't know, bake you a cake?"

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Luke: "You told me Vader betrayed and murdered my father." Obi-Wan: "Your father was seduced by the dark side of the Force. Because he was a twat."

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Luke: "Leia. Leia is my sister... but... we..." [Luke vomits in swamp.]

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Mon Mothma, in a haunted voice: "Many Bothans died to bring us this information.

"Maybe we shouldn't have written it on Bothan hide."

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General Madine's fake beard is INCREDIBLE. Do you think he's on the run and thus in disguise? If so, I really hope Madine's not his real name, because if it is Mon Mothma just outed him to EVERYONE.

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I love that Han and Chewie bicker like they're a couple on a road-trip and one of them wants to stop and ask for directions.

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"We're all in camouflage, blending in superbly with the Forest Moon landscape. This is excellent! No one will spot us! Let's just remember to bring our pessimistic, anxiety-ridden, SHINY GOLDEN droid with us! That will help us blend in YET MORE BETTER STILL!"

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Finally, a Stormtrooper that hit something!

Seriously - you're going at a MILLION MILES AN HOUR on the Forest Moon of Endor, which is stuffed with Giant Redwoods. WHY WOULD YOU LOOK OVER YOUR SHOULDER INSTEAD OF IN FRONT OF YOU? WHY? That guy is now the poster child for speeder bike safety.

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"Take the squad ahead! You don't need leaders! We're not necessary! You do your thing and we'll go rescue Leia from the Space Bears."

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"Freeze!" [Leia removes poncho. It’s cold on that there moon.]

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Space Bears, sir! THAAAAAAAZANDS OF THEM!

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Why is Princess Leia not getting cooked? Because, as previously discussed, she is a Space. Badass.

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Ewoks: "We think he's a god. Just a really rubbish one."

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"Now, C-3PO, if someone asks you if you're a god, you say YES!"

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By the look on Princess Leia's face, she's just remembered the few times she kissed Luke.

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Emperor: "You want this, don't you?" [Strokes lightsaber suggestively.] Luke: [shudders]

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Emperor: "You, like your father, are now MINE." Me: "It's all going a bit Hugh le Despensers in here." Him: [Knows better than to risk an impromptu history lesson by asking.]

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Everything Admiral Ackbar says is golden. Everything.

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Darth Vader: "It is too late for me, son. Several books I took out of the Naboo library are twenty years overdue and I can't afford to pay the fines. The Emperor is not generous with his pay scales."

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Imperial Officer, thinking: “We’re winning! But ooh… hang on. Ooh, no. The rebels are scary and they have guns and… hold up! I’ve got Stormtroopers! STORMTROOPERS! ADVANCE! Get them surrounded. More surrounded… bit more… Point your guns at them! Oh my good gravy, yes! YES! They’ve surrendered! NOW’S MY CHANCE! Imperial Officer, out loud: "You rebel scum!” Imperial Officer, thinking: "I AM THE GREATEST MAN ALIVE! YESSSSSS!!!!!"

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Lando: "Only the fighters are attacking. I wonder what those star destroyers are waiting for?" [Cuts to star destroyer] Officer: "I wonder what we're waiting for?"

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Alternatively: Lando: "Only the fighters are attacking. I wonder what those star destroyers are waiting for?" Emperor: "You may fire once peak electricity time is OVER, and NOT before!"

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[Speculatively]: "Do you think Stormtroopers are like tortoises? It's not that the Ewoks are so mighty that pushing people over kills them, it's just they can't get up again."

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I don't know why Darth Vader doesn't go down the route that Palpatine did when converting him. It worked well enough to convince him to do any number of rotten things!

"Give in to the dark side, Luke! WE HAVE COOKIES and the Emperor lets you stay up ALL NIGHT if you want!"

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The saddest part of this movie is when one ewok tries to wake the other ewok then realises the other ewok is dead.

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The Emperor does brilliantly evil enunciation.

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The Emperor: "Your feeble powers are no match for the static generated by my polyester robe!" [shuffles feet on carpet; zarks Luke.]

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The guards the Emperor sent away when Luke arrives, peaking around the corner 1: "It's okay, Darth Vader will protect the Emperor. Yup. There he goes. Oh. Oh, he's lost a hand! Oh, no! It's okay! The Skywalker chap's given up! Oooh! Tough break with the lightning! It's okay though, I reckon we can relax. Darth Vader's not going to grab the Emperor and throw him down that- oh. Oh buggery fuck." The guards the Emperor sent away when Luke arrives, peaking around the corner 2: "Reckon it's time to join the Rebellion, Pete." The guards the Emperor sent away when Luke arrives, peaking around the corner 1: "Yup."

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Darth Vader: "Do you think killing the Emperor is enough to get those library fines taken off?"

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When is an A-Wing not an A-Wing? When it's suddenly a flaming Ford pick-up truck slamming though the window!

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...do you think Darth Vader has to take vitamin D supplements in order not to get rickets?

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Luke's plan: "Look everyone! I saved him! He's back to the light side!" Everyone else: "That's... Darth Vader." Luke: "Yep! And he's a goody now! Isn't that BRILLIANT?" Everyone else: "...um..." Luke: "Let's have a PARTY! Then we can find something for him to do! Isn't this GREAT?" Leia: <facepalm> Darth Vader: "I'm good with children. I have experience. Any you want getting rid of?" Luke: <beaming happily> Everyone else: <stunned silence> Darth Vader: "I'm good at making sure they don't get out of hand."

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Luke: <sadly sets fire to Darth Vader.> Han Solo, downwind: "Could anyone else really go some barbecue right now?"

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Ewok playing music on stormtrooper helmets: "There is a more than zero percent chance that we cooked and ate the previous inhabitants of what is now my new xylophone."

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Force Ghost Obi-Wan: "Wait a minute. How did he get to come back as a young, handsome version of himself? WHY DIDN'T I GET TO COME BACK AS EWAN MCGREGOR?!"

#Star Wars #Return of the Jedi #RotJ #Leia Organa #Princess Leia #Luke Skywalker #Darth Vader #Anakin Skywalker #Obi Wan Kenobi #Han Solo #Emperor Palpatine #hilarity

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