#one last thing izzy is a dick and i hope he sees ed and stede's happiness and eats his other toe
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so there's been a lot of posting about things like ofmd not being a 'kind show' and no longer being 'the queer joy show' etc etc and. i just want to remind us of where everybody is in s1's finale vs s2's
let us begin
stede: stede ends s1 on a hopeful note (setting off to go get his man) but shortly prior to that he's kind of been through it (he nearly got executed and then two different people tried to murder him). stede ends s2 on an even more hopeful note, having got his man, ready to open an inn with him. verdict: slightly better off at the end of s2
ed: ed ends s1 in absolute despair. izzy has been a real dick to ed (depending on your interpretation, he's done something ranging from being a little tiny bit mean to ed to calling him a slur and threatening to kill him, but we're not having this discourse again) so now he's back in his blackbeard persona mere days after feeling some hope that he was finally free from piracy and ready to run away with someone who loves him for who he is. the last shot we see of s1 ed is him absolutely crying his eyes out in the bed nook. it inflicts d4 psychic damage on me whenever i look at it. anyway at the end of s2 he's been on an absolute journey, he's learned that he's loved, he's free from being blackbeard, he's stood beside the man that loves him and they're going to give everything a go. verdict: significantly better off at the end of s2
stede's crew: i mean. what is there to say. at the end of s1 they've just been marooned and social order on their little island is rapidly breaking down due to buttons and roach teaming up to try and eat the swede. at the end of s2 they're happily back at sea and the swede has spanish jackie to fight off anyone who would even consider having a nibble. verdict: significantly better off at the end of s2
honourable mention - buttons: ends s1 unsuccessfully trying to eat the swede. ends s2 having fulfilled his life's dream of becoming a bird. good job buttons. verdict: slightly better off at the end of s2
ed's crew: as above, the crew end s2 happily sailing away into the literal sunset. we finish s1 with jim presumably unconscious and izzy pointing a gun at frenchie. so not an ideal situation really. fang seems to be having a good time though and ivan gets killed off between seasons (rip king) so it averages out at a slightly better rather than a significantly better. verdict: slightly better off at the end of s2
honourable mention - frenchie: ends s1 hoisting his flag at gunpoint. ends s2 captaining the bloody ship. go frenchie. we love to see it. verdict: significantly better off at the end of s2
lucius: ends s1 soggy. ends s2 not only dry, but married. verdict: significantly better off at the end of s2
izzy: ah yes this old chestnut. so. two perspectives here. one is simply that he ends s1 alive and ends s2 dead. so. possible verdict: significantly worse off at the end of s2. alternatively, he ends s1 as his classic repressed self, smiling from ear to ear because ed cut his toe off and it sparked joy, disliked by the crew, resented by ed. he ends s2 having accepted himself and having experienced all the queer joy he would never have permitted himself in s1, having experienced more screentime and growth than any other secondary character in s2 (yes he's a secondary character no i won't argue with you about this), and dies exactly as he lived - being a pirate who can pull off a plan. he gets to have his deathbed deep and meaningful conversation with ed, which brings closure to them both. he gets buried beside ed and stede's new inn, on land where his grave will be tended, having been given a nice funeral by people who once despised him. so. possible verdict: slightly better off at the end of s2. he definitely seemed happier in s2, and died at peace rather than as a frothing little ball of anger, which is more than i could've foreseen in s1.
anyway. the eagle eyed mathematicians among you will notice that even if we take it as read that izzy is significantly worse off at the end of s2...
every single other character ends s2 in a better place than where they ended s1.
ofmd is a kind show that's full to the brim of queer joy. you guys are just sad that your fave died. and that's fine. the writers did a great job creating a story with characters that were so well written that people are genuinely grieving izzy's death.
but his death does not erase the inherent kindness and joy of the rest of the show.
anyway thanks for reading. i had fun playing with the tumblr post editor settings. by which i mean changing the text colour was unreasonably difficult and now i am stressed
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Hi I really liked ur too gentle to be a pirate slow burn for Izzy, and I wondered if you could do something similar but for steddyhands or ed teach
Blackbeard X Reader (GN)
This will be a series. A slow burn with Edward Teach before meeting Stede. Edward and Stede are end game, but it's fun to imagine what a relationship with younger Edward would have been like.
Home Sweet Home
Edward stood tall, the rough wood of the ship’s railing pressing against his chest as he leaned over the side, his gaze fixed on the distant silhouette of Bristol, his hometown. The salty sea air stirred, sending a cool breeze through his black beard and eliciting a shiver down his spine. Perhaps it was more than just the chill; his gaze drifted to the spot on the dock that haunted his nightmares– the very place where he had ended his father’s life many years ago. He had returned a few times since setting sail aboard The Ranger under Benjamin Hornigold, a fierce pirate captain who proved to be both lethal and a pain in Edward’s ass. He never looked forward to docking in his hometown, especially after his mother’s passing. For him, there was nothing left here anymore.
He felt a large hand forcefully slap him on the back, and he turned to see Calico Jack at his side, his hair messily strung in a ponytail down his back. A large mustache graced his face, and a cocky grin spread across his features.
“Blackie, I’m ready to blow off some steam tonight. Hornigold has been such a dick,” Calico Jack exclaimed, his voice laced with amusement as always.
“Poor fucking Felix,” Edward whispered to himself, his thoughts dwelling on the torment the young cabin boy had endured that week.
“Oh yeah. The crab thing?” Jack responded casually. “That was pretty fucked up.”
A beat of silence hung between the two of them before Calico Jack continued, swiftly brushing past the memory of the live crab crawling its way through the boy’s stomach, ultimately killing him.
“Luckily for you, I have the best cure for a shitty week: drinking and screwing.”
That’s how Edward found himself in multiple rundown bars throughout Bristol, never once letting it slip to Jack that this was his hometown. Even though he considered Jack one of his closer shipmates, it was a common rule among pirates to keep your past to yourself. You never knew who might turn against you, or who you could truly trust. Ed had only a few drinks, determined to keep his wits sharp in this unsettling city. He let Jack believe he had been participating more heavily, knowing it was easy to deceive him, especially once he himself had started drinking.
Jack chose the last bar of the night, hoping for better luck in his pursuits for sex than the previous establishments. Ed and Jack both entered, their attention immediately drawn to you, for different reasons. You were there, serving drinks with a forced smile, weariness evident in your demeanor as you interacted with the patrons. The moment Edward laid eyes on you, memories from the past flooded back, recalling the nights you had snuck away from home late at night, sharing secrets by the dock, and exploring the city together hand in hand. You were his childhood sweetheart, and even now, Edward couldn’t help but find you to be one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen.
However, he couldn’t ignore Jack’s predatory and intense stare directed at you, realizing that Jack also found you attractive. A surge of jealousy and protectiveness swept over Edward, despite nothing ever truly happening between the two of you. He didn’t like the idea of Calico Jack’s hands on you, especially considering where those hands had been.
Edward kept his eyes fixed on you as you approached their table, noting the fleeting moment of recognition in your widened eyes before you composed yourself. “What are you two drinking tonight?” your voice reached him, and he allowed his gaze to momentarily drift away from your face, catching the expression on Jack’s features. Edward knew Jack well enough to anticipate that he was on the verge of saying something fucking stupid.
“I think I’d like a taste of you, if that’s available,” Jack slurred drunkenly, reaching his hand to grab your waist. Edward watched intently as you gracefully dodged his advances, a flicker of annoyance crossing your features.
Edward observed as you shot him a curious glance, your eyes transitioning into a look of cool calmness. Sliding one hand onto the table, you leaned in, tilting your head and offering Jack a wicked smile. “It’s available. But there’s only one small issue for you.”
“What’s that?” Jack asked, his grin widening as his eyes roved over you from head to toe. Edward felt a knot tighten in his stomach at the interaction, a sense of unease settling over him. He considered how satisfying it would be to punch Jack in this moment for looking at you that way. But he knew he had to keep his cool; otherwise, he’d risk people discovering who he was.
“I have standards,” you whispered in response, your eyes alight with amusement as you watched the smile drop from Jack’s face.
“Just rum,” Edward cut in quickly, attempting to conceal a smile.
“Rum it is,” you replied smoothly, before gracefully making your way back to the bar. Edward observed you with admiration, noticing how you seemed unfazed by Jack’s advances.
Jack changed the subject quickly, as he tended to do whenever he was utterly rejected. Edward had seen this pattern throughout this whole night. As Jack prattled on about a prank he had pulled on one of their shipmates, Edward found himself drifting in thought, his gaze repeatedly drawn to you. Each time your eyes met, you exchanged warm smiles, a silent understanding passing between you. Jack appeared too intoxicated to notice these subtle interactions.
When Jack excused himself, announcing loudly that he needed to whiz, Edward seized the opportunity to sidle up to the bar, eager to talk with you. Ed watched as your delicate hands expertly wiped down glasses, lost in the rhythm of your movements, until you noticed his presence and glanced up from your work. As your eyes met, Edward felt a silly smile spread across his face, a warmth flooding his chest as if he were a teenage boy again.
“Edward Teach,” you sang softly, returning a calm smile to him while continuing your work.
“Born on a beach,” Ed replied, his words sounding somewhat stupid to his own ears, until the sound of your laughter reached him. It was a beautiful sound, one he had forgotten in the midst of everything he had gone through since he left.
“What are you doing here?” you asked curiously.
Ed watched as your eyes briefly shifted down to focus on the glass you were holding. He couldn’t help but wonder if you felt the same nervousness he did at this unexpected encounter. It wasn’t like you to show vulnerability easily, always the stronger one between the two of them. Edward recalled how he had been an emotional child growing up, until his father had beaten that out of him. In contrast, you had always been his rock in Bristol, the one who kept him steady. Edward knew that your childhood had been as difficult as his, but you only ever mentioned it briefly in all the time he knew you. You had once opened up to him about your cruel sister and mother, with your father being the softener presence in your household.
“Just passing through,” Edward replied, his eyes briefly flicking towards the door as a very drunk Jack stumbled back into the bar. “When are you finished with work?”
“An hour or so,” you answered calmly, meeting his gaze before giving a weary glance towards Jack.
“Meet me at our old spot once you’re done?” Edward suggested with a smile, sliding enough coins across the bar to cover their drinks and leaving a few extra for you.
“It’s a date,” you replied teasingly. Edward felt his heart rate increase at your words, but he only responded with a wink. Quickly, he moved towards Jack in the doorway, attempting to usher him out onto the street and back to the ship.
After dumping Jack’s drunken body back in his bunk, Edward made his way back to the shore, heading to a familiar spot under the docks. He settled onto the sand, his heart racing with anticipation as he eagerly turned his head towards any sound he thought might be you. As he waited, Edward tried to convince himself to play it cool, to show you how much he had changed since you last saw him. He wanted to prove he was different now, that he had grown and matured in his time at sea.
Finally, you arrived, holding up a bottle of rum with a mischievous grin before settling onto the sand next to him. Your knee casually rested against his leg, and though you didn’t seem to notice, that physical touch consumed Edward’s attention until you began to speak.
"Edward Teach," you whispered, gazing at him as if he wasn't really in front of you. "You finally grew up enough to grow a beard."
"Fuck off," Edward replied with a chuckle.
Your laughter echoed under the wooden slats of the dock. "You were always complaining about how you wanted a beard. You said that only real men were able to grow a beard, and you were ready to be a man."
Edward forced himself to roll his eyes, feigning annoyance at your teasing, though he secretly relished every moment of being next to you.
"I forgot you were such a dick."
"Well, it's good you came back, so I could remind you," you quipped, nudging your shoulder against him in a familiar gesture from your younger days.
How are you?" Edward whispered softly, his gaze filled with genuine concern, as if being in this spot had reminded him of all the shit you had both faced.
Edward watched as your expression darkened at his question. "My dad is sick, so I'm taking care of him and trying to work enough to keep us going, but I’m doing well enough" you replied somberly. Despite your words, Edward sensed a hint of reassurance in your tone, as if you were trying to convince yourself that everything was indeed fine.
Edward slid his fingers through yours, giving your hand a comforting squeeze, and you responded with a grateful smile at the gesture. Despite the warmth exchanged between you, Edward sensed that you weren't going to expand further on your life.
You took a swig from the bottle of rum before handing it to him. "How about you, big bad pirate? You seem to be keeping great company," you remarked sarcastically, your expression indicating you were referring to the brief interaction you had with Jack. A feeling of embarrassment washed over him.
"Calico Jack is an ass, but he isn't that bad once you get to know him."
"Calico Jack?" you gawked at the name, finding it amusing.
Edward realized it was a silly name. All pirates tend to pick ridiculous names for their alter ego. Edward included.
"Pirates tend to pick new names. It’s his alter egos, I guess," Edward explained, watching your eyes study his face intently.
A mischievous grin spread across your face. "What's your pirate name, Edward?"
"I would tell you if you weren't such a dick," Edward whispered back, leaning his face closely to yours. He knew you would laugh at him, especially after already teasing him about his beard.
Your fingers grasped his tighter, and you moved to perch on your knees, staring at him intently. "You have to tell me," you insisted, your smirk adding to the mischievous glint in your eyes. Edward's gaze shifted from your smirk to your lips, and he couldn't help but wonder how they would taste, whether they would feel as soft as he imagined against his own. Despite growing up together, he had never kissed you, but the thought had lingered in his mind as a distant fantasy.
As if realizing he had not responded and where he had been staring, Edward quickly succumbed to your question, hoping you hadn't read his thoughts. "Blackbeard," he whispered.
Your laughter rang out, just as he had anticipated, but it was music to his ears.
"I should have guessed," you replied with a giggle, running a finger gently across his chin. Edward felt a shift in the air, similar to what he felt before a storm, as he realized how close the two of you were now. "Blackbeard," you repeated softly, seeming to savor the name. He enjoyed hearing his new name on your tongue. "You really are a man now," you added, your eyes tracing his face.
Edward had to resist the urge to kiss you; every part of his body was screaming for you, yearning to show you how much of a man he had become. But he knew you deserved better than him. You always had. Kissing you right now would only complicate things, and you didn't deserve that with everything else you had going on. Instead, he bumped his shoulder against yours, echoing your earlier gesture.
You both stayed up talking the rest of the night, watching as the sun rose above the shoreline, until its golden rays crested the blue waters rolling before you both. Reluctantly, Edward made his way back to the ship, his hand wrapped in yours again, wishing he could hold onto it forever. He stopped at a place far enough away where he knew no one on The Ranger could see him.
"Are you ever coming back here?" you asked quietly. Edward saw the pain in your eyes and felt thankful that he hadn't kissed you; it might have been impossible to leave if he had.
"I don't know," Edward replied honestly.
He watched as your expression changed into an easy smile, knowing you had pushed down that other emotion that threatened to break through. He had seen you do that plenty of times growing up. You wrapped your arms around his neck, and his arms found your waist, squeezing you closely to him. He savored how your body felt against his, not knowing if this would be the last time he held you. You loosened your grip on him first, causing him to let you go, and you began making your way back to town. He watched as you walked away, feeling the tug in his heart to follow you, then you turned back towards him.
"I like the beard, Ed," you said, your eyes narrowing as if you were making a decision on whether to say something further. Then you spoke again. "Next time you come back, find me again." Before he could respond, you turned to walk again.
If he sailed here again, there was no doubt in his mind that he would go to any length to find you. He knew that fact even before you asked. He had left this life behind, but you were the one piece of the past he would relish in when he was back. As the ship set sail, instead of leaving his former home with relief like he expected, longing sat in his heart. He hoped Hornigold would choose to return to Bristol soon.
#ed teach x reader#edward teach x reader#our flag means death#ofmd#ofmd x reader#ofmd fanfic#edward teach
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(Hope you’re feeling better ❤️)
Any time a member of the crew is sick, Stede dismisses it initially and tells them to drink some water, eat some bread and take it slow but as soon as they start to show physical symptoms he goes full papa bear. Izzy thinks Stede is a dick for telling him to stop standing in direct sunlight if he thinks he has a fever but then he gags approximately one time and finds himself being held on Stede’s lap with a bucket under his chin while the crew are instructed to boil water for tea, get Izzy’s bed ready for nap time and, worst of all, find him a diaper before they have a repeat of the storm incident. He barely has time to react before he finds himself being carried inside and tucked into his bed and, well, it is really comfortable and maybe story time isn’t the worst when the rest of the crew aren’t shouting out their thoughts at the same time so he does doze off with his head on Stede’s chest and his hand clutching the soft blanket someone had gotten from the captains quarters.
Aaaaa I'm feeling a bit better, the yucks are just coming in waves now instead of constant which is v nice! ;w; ♡♡
And🥺💖💖💖 aaAAAAA oh my goodness yes!
Mentions of vomit!!
Stede is very much a "need to see to believe" type of captain, the mentioning of feeling off gets a "slow it down but continue on"
Izzy is no exception to that. Stede hears Izzy grumbling on about how flushed he's feeling.
"Well I suppose all that leather in this heat certainly isn't helping you," Stede quips as he passes by the swordsman.
He expects Izzy to retort, at least glare at him but, Stede is greeted by silence, then Izzy's shoulders touching his ears as he lurches forward.
Papa mode kicks in and Stede is quick to grab the nearest bucket for the now, outwardly sickly Izzy. Izzy's ears are ringing, only able to concentrate on his shallow wheezing as everything he had in the last day comes barreling out his mouth.
He doesn't notice Stede's hanky being wipes across his forehead or that he's now seated away from the glaring afternoons rays while the crew are given orders for things only a sickie requires-
But he finally notices the damp cloth being wiped around his mouth, that soon he isn't decked out in his regular leathers, he feebly protest but knows this really is for the best, for his sake ;w;
Izzy can hear Ed and Stede's voice. He feels Ed's hand lightly pushing him back to lay, telling Izzy he's got the second best with him right now (Stede snorts, asking who the first is. And Ed is like, "Eh, Fang, but he would've just kept the lad up deck.")
It's nice, having a place to quietly rest from sickness, Izzy wouldn't admit but, having Stede read him his very own bedtime story is an added bonus♡♡ Stede coos when he sees Izzy nuzzling closer to him and gripping onto the cozy blanket aaaaaaa♡♡
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