i'm SO bad at these lol and I have no idea how active the gone fandom is on tumblr these days but I am rereading the books for the nth time since being an OG reader back in the 2010s and have fallen head first back in love with everything. so... here I am!

i have endless thoughts about the series, I will defend quinn like my life depends on it and I really believe it is the book series that defined me most in my life. nice to be here!!!

Top 5 favourite smoktun’s roles (apart from hamlet or detochkin maybe)???

first of all how is this cursed unless it implies that all smoktun filmography is cursed or smoktun himself which means this list is becoming post modern future ironic arthouse comedy 🤔🤔 much to think about 🤔🤔🤔🤔

second of all neither car gays nor hamlet were ever on the list lmao im always a big fun of an actor's most scrungly movies that they were confirmed to hate later, so im the truest fan of all blorbos ever obviously. also this ask made me realise i actually never had a single fave smoktun role in all those years somehow........... i literally have no idea how.....

before we start lets do a cursed list:

dr jekyll and mr hyde for the poster alone <333333

his role in the genius omg i sat there for 3 hours sooooo worth itttttt uwuwuwuw

cries and paninishment another 3.5 hours straight after suchhhhhh a big fannnnnnn omg his bald cap

narrating tark's mirror you were actually meant to be shot for this <3

the prime minister in soviet holmes

as for the actual list i must preface it with an interesting fact that i have not, in fact, seen most of these films fully. THANKS TO SMOKTUN TO BEGIN WITH i simply do not watch full movies with my faves anymore and the tragic backstory to this does not hide in points 2 and 3 above. how do his roles there are your favorites then, you may ask? thats because get on my level actually.

for the incorrect reasons, uncle vanya the movie. incorrect because i dont actually like the movie, i hate chekhov, i dont understand the play because i couldnt care less, but the film in particular was just so well shot man. the colors were poppin sooo bad, and the smoktun aesthetics are simply the BEST. like this is my preferred smoktun look forever, the beard and the hair and the colorful tie and the blue eyes holy shit. the 70s were such a blossoming time for smoktun enjoyers, everyone saw the light with this look. plus yea, this movie came pretty late in my smoktun career so it was oh so refreshing to see some good fucking acting again. i dont like the movie yet i'd always watch it, thats the power of the simp.

IOO from moscow-cassiopeia. just a scrungly role <3 both movies are poppin to begin with but knowing that smoktun is there for no reason and that he was begged to be in there and then he delivered just makes it better for me. ee o o. just a guy <3 teehee! half life stoled btw

caesar and cleopatra. now i havent seen this one fully, and from what i remember this production looked, unless i was missing something there, rather poorly in all senses. but mannnn the titular characters carried it. their interactions were so fucking funny and interesting to watch, and like as someone who has never seen anybody else play caesar? smoktun best caesar :) this was i think the only media i've watched with him that made me actually catch a fleeting crush and maybe i should look into this again lmao what was so sexy about his caesar for this to happen. i mean honestly if this gif alone doesnt sell it then what will

4. the legend of till i think it's called? also havent seen this one fully but his introduction, the very first frame, consisted of him literally sucking on tits as he was told his wife gave birth to an heir. im only yet to be blasted with an intro just as powerful ever since. sure his 3 appearances there were charmin n shit but seeing him go to town there like that is when i knew this man is utterly fearless. just for tits alone it's here on this list

5. the princess on the pea, once again not seen this one fully, but him being bullied by freindlich who plays his wife, and just be a general L dad whomst everyone is rolling eyes at was just so fun to watch. just a leetle scrungly hasban helpin out his wife and son <3

my girl

hi so this is my first time doing this but i want to try talking abt movies. idk here’s a lil introduction to this. ok so ig i’ve always been a movie person, like i like them but i’ve never rly got into the nitty gritty w them. but sometimes i do find myself looking up analysis’ of the movies once i finish them. but that only started recently. ok so here’s the deal w this post. there’s 3-4 parts. first part is the introduction (this is the introduction), then we have the when i watched it (i know this seems rly silly but i think it’s important on the atmosphere and shit when watching a movie), then the what i rly think abt it section, and finally a section called audrey trying to be johnny 2 cellos. this one will b abt 4 because this intro is kinda explaining how i’m going to be doing this sort of thing so let’s get started ig? IDK HOW TO START THIS I’M LITERALLY 14 YEAR OLD GIRL WHO’S BORED. oh i’m gonna rate the movie on a scale from 1-10, 1 being wtf this is not cute and 10 being cute cute cute. 5 is like oh cute? its confusing i feel like i need to draw some sort of diagram :/

intro:

ok so my girl is abt this girl (wow nice one audrey!) who lives with her dad in a mortuary. this girls name is vada and her mother died giving birth to her. i lowkey forgot some stuff from this movie but that’s fine ig bc it’s been abt a year since i’ve seen it. basically vada is this tomboy and she doesn’t get along w everyone until she meets this boy. btw they r in elementary school. so she’s freinds w this boy named thomas and he wears glasses. the actor is the kid who was in home alone. anyways shit happens some girl comes in and becomes like her step mom ig. but lets get into what actually happened. so one day vada and thomas r playing in the woods and vada is wearing this ring but she loses it. she realizes she lost it after they were done playing in the woods but after thomas went back to get it. as he was looking for the ring he bumped into a bees nest and a shit load of bees stung him AND MANS WAS ALLERGIC TO BEES. so his glasses fell underneath the leaves and he died. so sad omg. and so they held a funeral for him and vada was obviously sad abt this but when she went to look in the casket she saw he wasn’t wearing his glasses. this is where the famous line “he can’t see without his glasses” comes from. this scene hurt so much my lawd. eventually time goes on and she never forgets him but that’s basically my girl. 

how audrey watched this movie:

okay so i think it was summer. I can’t remember i just remember this day being very grey and bright. so it must’ve been summer. anyways i had a shit load of laundry to do so i thought i would put on a movie. as i’m scrolling through netflix i see my girl and it’s one of those movies that u always hear abt so i thought i would watch it. i thought it was going to be some cute cheesey rom-com abt childhood friends but oh boy was i wrong. the movie was on in the background as i was folding my clothes but i do remember knowing what was going on the whole time. i remember wearing this headband that made my forehead huge but i didn’t realize that until i looked in the mirror to see my crying face lols. when the scene of thomas in the casket came up i was sobbing. i mean i was not expecting that at all and i was not ready . i rly thought it was gonna b a cute kids movie. i was so shocked that during and after that scene i could not move. i sat over all my clothes and just cried all over them. literally so embarrassing but it was so sad. LIKE Y WOULD U MAKE A CHILD DIE HELLO? i mean shit happens but whatever. this movie will alwyas be memorable to me bc i literally was not expecting to cry and i literally sobbed like a baby. i’m so glad no one was home to see me cry like that oh my goodness. 

audrey tries to b johnny2cellos:

if u don’t who johnny2cellos is pls check out his yt channel. i think he does a great good in going deep into movies and tv shows. well idk if i should say movies i’ve only watched bojack related vids from him. but from what i’ve seen and heard i think he does a rly good job. anyways let me jump into my lame ass analysis. this isn’t going to be good bc i havent seen this movie in a long time. but i think the movie did a rly good job capturing losing a loved one from such a young age. the innocence and immaturity of vada shown throughout the movie and during thomas’ funeral. i’m not good at this lmao. but i havent seen this movie in a long time so im not surprised that this is bad lols. anyways that’s it bc i have no idea what to say and i want to talk abt a different movie bc i lowkey forgot everything about this movie. 

final thoughts:

this movie is meh. it gets a 6.5/10 from me, so it’s like a ok cute? idk if that makes sense lols. anyways it’s a good tear jerker but honestly it seemed a bit rushed, but at the same time i sorta like that bc that’s what going through childhood is like. everything goes by super fast and soon enough, something happens that makes you stop and realize the shit that’s going on around you. that’s it for now i’m gonna do my life as zucchini next. PEACE OUT!!

PLL The Perfectionists - 1x01 Pilot LIVE REACTION

WE ARE BACK!!!!

Ok I’m gonna do what I was doing for PLL where I react as I watch. But before I copy and paste the live reaction, I want to give my quick overview. That was by far a 10/10. That achieved everything a pilot should achieve. It introduced us to the characters, each of their stories, and the relationships each character has with one another. It set the overall tone, that this is a murder mystery with twists and turns to come. It established what the show is about. And it had occasional small shocks (I say small because there’s only so much that can be shocking in a pilot when everything is brand new). This was exponentially darker than the PLL pilot and for that I’m so grateful. We are cutting the high school airy-fairy (is that word used outside of Australia?) drama and going straight to scandals and a murder. I’m scared to see the ratings tomorrow because I want it to do well but hey it was trending worldwide on Twitter so that’s a good sign!? The show looks SO promising. I think I’m already in love with the cast. I just want to know more about everything and everyone and omg we are back!

LIVE THOUGHTS:

Love this intro! It sets the scene very well about the whole theme of perfectionism.

WAIT IS DYLAN PLAYING POKERFACE BY LADY GAGA HAHAHAHAHA

Okay sorry but that song ain’t it (“two can keep a secret if one of them is dead”). Why does it sound like an auto tuned choir? I’m happy for change. I actually don’t want the exact same version as the original series. But this one ain’t it. Is it too late to change it???

Wait, why is Alison walking around her new apartment like she’s walking around Jenna’s school for the blind in 710? If she lived 2 years of happiness and freedom of A, there’s no need to be so sceptical of danger every time you walk into a room. Anyway, doesn’t really matter.

Just the backing music throughout the scene is very PLL-esque! Yes, there is such thing as PLL backing music. And this is it.

Mona making a grand entrance!

I feel like Ali’s reaction to seeing Mona was a bit... underwhelming? If they haven’t seen each other in 2 years I expected a bit more of an “OMG”, and a “how did you get in my apartment”, etc. But they go straight to the point and cut the fluff so I don’t mind overall.

Mona recruited Ali. I knew it. And she works at BHU, we already knew that.

Emison is having trust issues. But she wants to do this for the kids. Ok I expected more detail there to satisfy the Emison shippers but whatever, I won’t cry at night.

Ok so Mary and Alex escaped Mona’s “dungeon”. That’s fine by me. Maybe that’ll be the storyline for a PLL movie later, who knows. It’s quite a vague answer but what did we expect... Mona to ADMIT to Ali that she captured her aunt? No. Mona could never explicitly say to Ali what she did. Hence the subtle pause before “... escaped me”. Only us the audience know the true meaning of that and I love how subtle yet meaningful it is.

Why do I feel like this security system is gonna play a massive toll throughout the entire series?

Loved the little Easter egg of seeing Mona, and Mona in the mirror (2 Mona’s). A subtle symbol/reference to her split personality in PLL.

I LOVED the scene of Ali teaching in the classroom! I got How To Get Away With Murder vibes...

Remember when we all thought Taylor’s death would be the main death of the show because of that memorial with her name on it... lol. Okay I’m calling it now... come back to this in the apparently mind blowing season 1 finale... Taylor isn’t really dead WE HAVENT TECHNICALLY SEEN A BODY

Love the complicated friendships going on between Dylan, Nolan, Ava, Caitlin! There’s a lot going on about faking being friends and faking tasks to uphold the image of being perfect. I love this theme and I feel like it’s super relevant to today’s world. Like especially social media. Everyone’s instagrams are always filled of their highs. And they’re mostly edited. No one ever posts/shares their low moments.

So no one knows of Ali’s past. Hmmm. We’ve had this discussion before, I don’t think it’s realistic that no one knows the name Alison DiLaurentis - surely that was on national news when “dead girl isn’t dead anymore” made headlines. But anyway. If they wanna pretend no one watches the news, it wouldn’t be the most unrealistic thing PLL has done.

Is Dylan the gay male character Marlene said she was going to introduce in PLL season 5B? Lmao about time.

WOW that flashback of Caitlin and Nolan just gave me PLL season 1 Alison flashback vibes! Nolan plays the bad manipulative guy so well just like Ali played the bully so well in flashbacks!

Two moms don’t make a right hahahaha who wrote that

Sofia looks FLAWLESS in the pool scene OH MY GODDD. AND her voice is so soothing what the hell

Love how the first scene of Nolan’s mother shows her standing on top of the staircase and the camera panning up. Great directing there. Showing she’ll be like a supreme leader. And then the camera being over her shoulders looking down on Nolan. Again great camera work which conveys the message that she is the boss of this town. I think she’ll be our new Jessica DiLaurentis lol

“I’d like some time for myself” ... “to do what?” OUCH why is that so iconic

Eli is... doing great. He comes across very confident. A star in the making?

Love the cinematography period. And Portland is beautiful!! Better than the Warner Bros lot.

Omg Nolan’s mother gathering “attractive” people for her photo op. Lol, they really are big on presenting a perfect image.

“You saw somebody else” NO CAITLIN, ALISON SAW YOU wow these kids will adamantly lie to uphold perfectionism. I keep saying that but I just love this theme!!!

“I know a little bit about manipulation” hahahahaha Ali

Omg Ali is so good at learning their lies. Of course she is, she’s had years of practice

The woods, Nolan? Nothing good ever happens in the woods.

Lol when Nolan tells Dylan to “kiss me” and Dylan actually contemplates it (and does it). That’s the type of power Nolan has over people.

I love how Ali is trying to help them! I can see a bond eventually forming here.

This scene where Nolan cheats on Ava isn’t shocking since they unfortunately shared it in the promos but hey a douche is a douche.

WHAT THE FUCKITY FUCKING FUCK IT’S TAYLOR WHAT DID I JUST SAY ABOVE

OK I KNOW I GUESSED ALEX DRAKE BUT THIS IS A NEW RECORD FOR FASTEST THEORY TO COME TRUE

Well it wasn’t really a theory I was just joking that she’s not really dead because we didn’t see a body but still do I get a point? Lmao

Nonetheless that shocked me! I love that they’re trying to take down their own family, that’s so dark and it’s only episode 1!

Yes Alison is already getting suspicious. Solve this one please Ali

Sorry I put my phone down during that scene in the woods. I just knew it would be juicy and I wanted to immerse in it properly. I frickin adore this scene. It’s creepy in tone, set in the woods like classic PLL, they’re referring to Ali like a friend and my PLL heart is content, and this is the first time they’re all bonding over one thing: wanting Nolan dead. This is probably my favourite scene in the whole episode.

So I’m guessing the vibes are that they were being recorded in the woods about how they want Nolan to be killed? But didn’t Nolan turn off the security?

Mona gets in her car and chucks a big bag in the back seat. Where was she and what was in the baggggg

Ok that was a bit dramatic Ali (“why am I really here”)

Lol I had to rewatch that for a sec. I thought Ali said “and his dead sister who I just saw pick him up” and I was like wait what Ali knows Taylor’s alive??? No, “dead sister who I just saw a picture of”.

OH MY GOD WHAT A MISSED OPPORTUNITY!!!! THAT SCENE WHERE THE 3 OF THEM ARE WALKING AWAY FROM EACH OTHER... NOLAN’S BODY SHOULD’VE FALLEN TO THE GROUND IN THE MIDDLE OF THEM RIGHT THERE! That would’ve been iconic. Like “oh well we were just kidding about all that, good night xx” then nope bam dead body. But I guess he had to die with poles through his chest as Caitlin said.

Oh Marlene. That’s a LOT of dialogue for a death scene. I hope you can back up and explain what Nolan is talking about before he died. Don’t you dare tell me that was an interpretative dream. Again that’s a lot of dialogue for a death scene. You better know who that killer is Marlene! Don’t make it up the day you write the finale!

I don’t like how we didn’t see Nolan ACTUALLY be killed. They play it safe because they don’t want to show us the killer in action. they basically copied the format of Mona’s “death”. Just change the scene to a flashing ambulance with a lame transition lol.

Another missed opportunity. Mona should’ve said to Ali “they found a body”! That would’ve been iconic in every way possible. First it was Ali’s body now Ali is finding a body and hearing the news and ugh oh well

My god that’s a violent death. And pretty early in the series for a Noel-Khan-level death. Too bad the photos leaked online and we knew that Nolan would not only die, but die like THAT. Those extras/fillers on set really should get charged for having their phones on them and leaking shit. Isn’t there copyright laws or something???? idk

Ummmmmm what? What kind of sci-fi, dollhouse level bullshit is that? That’s kinda over the top. Ehhhh. We’ll see where that goes.

My brain right now instantly got to thinking if Nolan’s murderer will be the “A” of the series or if the killer will just be the main mystery for season 1? Is “who killed Nolan” going to be the overarching story of the entire show or will they answer that sooner rather than later and then start a new mystery? I wonder what the format of this show will be. That’s where my mind is right now as the credits play.

indulge me in a ramble, if you will

You know who liked TFP? People who don't know the originals. (Generally, I mean. I know individuals who have read them and liked TFP just fine, and that's ok. I'm talking about your garden variety viewer who barely remembers Mary shot Sherlock and thinks the only people who don't like TFP are weird hormonal teenagers who want to see men kiss on TV.) *flasback transition* My SO was a casual, more or less, until this season when I "let slip a spoiler." He'd never seen the clues before, but when I pointed a couple of quick things out, he was like "omg yeah that's super obvious now, and I'll be surprised if they're not going there on purpose." He was almost mad I told him, actually, that he wouldn't get to see the big reveal. The romance arc subtext, of course. I don't know what he thought I'd been doing for five years, lol, but I just assumed it was an obvious enough storyline that he'd have seen it too, as that "flirting with subtext that was never going anywhere" if not full-on TJLC. (Not that I was ever technically full-on myself, but that's another post.) Even though I tipped him off, or made him put on the glasses so to speak, lol, i havent spelled out all the scenes or gotten into all the queer coding he's not a native speaker of or anything. One day we're going to re-watch with his new eyes and me not saying a word, and we'll see what happens. Anyway, he said "romantic entanglements" left little doubt at that point regardless, but a little part of him wished he hadn't been tipped off before the surprise. So I didn't explain garridebs to him. I wanted to let the show play out naturally. I mean, he's been on the sherlock subreddit, which is like this whole foreign world i know nothing of, but he said there's not a lot of, like, actual canon knowledge going on there. There's one post about "John's dream theory" (I referred to it as John's TAB once, and he asked what TAB was) and the rest of it is, like, memes of Millhouse saying "then why did I have the bowl, Eurus? WHY DID I HAVE THE BOWL???!?" (Any redditors in the audience tonight, feel free to confirm or deny.) Well last night he asks me, "so what's this story about Watson almost getting killed, it's a big one, right?" I say, "oh yes, when they re-released the books and got TPTB to write intros for them, the moff was all like "there's this one that's my favorite, you know the one, it's everyone's favorite, and it takes forever to get to but the payoff is so huge." SO says "what happens in it? how does it go exactly?" and I get as far as "so when the guy shot him..." and he interrupts, "wait, they shot him? They actually shot Watson in the books? Then there HAS to be more show, it DEFINITELY doesn't make sense, what they did, otherwise." THEN I get into the 20m orobouros of canon threads that is garridebs / the final problem story / the empty house story / the Lost Special story / our episodes of TRF / TEH / TFP. He'd already heard me talk about "You Brutes" and how I think that's where we are now, recreating that. I guess the point of this story is, I'm bad at assuming someone has all the information I do, and sometimes it takes me five years to realize it... but it took roughly two 15-20m half-assed listings of facts (without tjlc-ING them together) to turn a 5-year entrenched casual into someone who instantly saw what I'd spent 5 years yelling about to strangers on the internet. Another point is, a lot of people don't know what garridebs is. So of course they don't know anything's missing, or that we got something out of left field instead, and they don't have that sense of being cheated. And I'm not sure "knowing the original stories" counts as "reading too much into things," i.e. we cheated ourselves... I think it's more like the proverbial "130 year old spoiler." PS, if there isn't already a "they live" gif where he puts on the glasses and it says "THEY'RE IN LOVE" instead of "OBEY," someone reaaaaaaaaally needs to get on that (and tag me in it, lol).