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emilycollins00 · 4 years

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if you are taking rquests, could you do some headcannons about a reader who also has an intimidating look, and is insecure about it, with taichi and juza? if you do, thank you vv much!! 🥺

Sorry I took so long, dear! Thank you for taking the time to request it. Really hope you like it! 💕

Taichi and Juza x Intimidating! Insecure! reader

Taichi

We all know how much trouble Taichi always had with fitting until Mankai.

He sometimes sees how you have difficulty in school socializing with others.

He doesn’t get it at first? He has only seen you from afar but he thinks you are cool??

Hears comments about your intimidating aspect. Still doesn’t get it.

Decides to invite you to have lunch with Tenma, Juza and himself.

You are unsure but end up going.

Becomes a routine? They accept you and that’s all you needed

Taichi’s heart goes full doki doki when he sees you happier about yourself

Taichi had noticed it before, but now he could confirm that whenever he was doing P.E outside, he saw you staying away from others. That day your class was doing football and you were put as the goalkeeper. So far, no one had gotten close to it.

“Nanao, can’t find the baseball?”

Taichi turned to his own classmate “Ah, sorry!” his class was in the middle of a match and he had gone to retrieve it.

“Y/N, uh” the same classmates followed his line of sight “They have quite the glare.”

Taichi tilted his head. What glare? He just thought it was weird seeing you alone in a class like P.E. He had always thought you looked cool when he passed you by the hallways though, so mysterious and all, maybe he could attract girls if he did that!

More classmates arrived, thinking the ball was lost too, ending making comments with you as the main subject.

“Ah, that’s the famous Y/N from B class, right?”

“No wonder no one’s trying to score..”

Taichi looked around, still confused “Famous? Did they do something?”

“Most likely…? I don’t know though”

“I mean, it’s not like they have weird rumors like that Hyodo guy but… they make me feel uncomfortable”

Without thinking twice, that very same day, Taichi found himself in front of you during lunch break.

“Do you need anything?”

“H-hi! Sorry uh…” he played with his hands. You were frowning so much it looked like Sakyo when he lectured him for doing something wrong. Suddenly the idea of coming right up at you didn’t seem as good. Mostly because he didn’t want to be a bother.

Maybe you preferred to be alone?

He looked at you again beginning to apologize and leave when he noticed it. Yes, you were frowning and sure, it must have looked scary from the outside… but you had been waiting patiently for him to speak. Taichi swallowed down his nerves.

“Well, uh, I hope it’s not weird b-but…! I saw you in P.E and you looked really cool! Wait no, that’s uh…!” he notices your frown increased. Ugh, why was he stuttering so much? “So, uh, d-do you want you to have lunch outside!?”

Even though the boy had shouted the invitation so much your own classmates had turned, you still couldn’t believe your ears.

“Aren’t you… afraid of me?” the questions came out without you wanting to. You saw him closing and opening his mouth, trembling.

“S-SHOULD I?”

Lifting your head scandalized at him, you moved your hands frantically “NO! No, no! I don’t-!” you put both of your hands on your lap, trying to calm down “I, um, don’t get many invitations, so I got... surprised”

You were sure you were blushing hard form the embarrassment.

“Oh!” Taichi smiled at you, now breathing relieved. Then everything was okay in his book! He really wanted to get to know you better now “Then want to come? I’m sure everyone will be happy too!”

“I…”

Everyone?

.........……………………..

“Ey, guys! Brought someone to have lunch with us, this is Y/N!”

Tenma and Juza stopped talking as they both processed what he had just said, directing then their gazes at you. You didn’t move.

“Uh… hi” the summer troupe leader waved, a bit uncomfortable seeing you not responding. Juza simply nodded.

You were a mess, feeling your eyebrows frowning as you always did when you got nervous. This could not get worse. He was friends with THE Sumeragi Tenma and THE Hyodo Juza??

“Come Y/N, it’s okay!” he smiled at you warmly, sitting with them and looking at you to copy him and sit as well.

Tenma was confused. He didn’t expect Taichi to bring people to their lunch breaks. However, if Taichi had brought you, it should mean something.

He tried to casually make up small talk “…You are in class B, right?”

You nodded in silence as you sat close to the redhead. How did he know? What were you supposed to say? You noticed a glare coming towards you. Juza Hyodo. You tried to avoid him when something on his lap caught your attention too. You both stood in silence.

“Uh, guys…?” Taichi didn’t really understand what was happening. He looked at Tenma to get help but he also looked like he was at a loss. The autumn member suddenly gasped, you two weren’t enemies or anything right?!

“…those rolled omelettes look good”

Oh. You looked down your lunchbox “I… was going to say the same thing about your melon bread”

Tenma and Taichi sighed together

“You two scared the life out of me!” Tenma scolded you two as he leaned on the tree, closing his eyes.

Taichi put his hand on his chest. Looks like you both were just interested in food. He looked more carefully at your lunch “Juza-san’s right! That looks really good! You made them, Y/N?”

“Y-yeah, I like cooking so…”

“That’s so cool! I sometimes cook too!”

He smiled at you and your heart leaped. That had been one of the first times in a while someone smiled so big at you instead of diverting their eyes.

“Wait, didn’t Tsuzuru have to help you make rice because it took you an hour last time?”

“Ten-chan, you are not supposed to say those things!”

Somehow, the conversation kept going, as well as the days you decided to spend lunch break together. You were speechless at how natural it felt to spend time with Taichi and the others, how it felt like something had been lifted from your chest.

You should have imagined, being yourself the focus of many, but they weren’t like those rumors you heard. Tenma was cooler and Juza kinder than you had expected. None of those boys tried to mind their words around you either or looked intimidated but your looks. They joked around and messed with each other.

You felt yourself enjoying school life for once.

“YOU MADE THIS Y/N?!”

“Should I not have??” you looked worried at the lunch you had brought. You had told them you would bring lunch that day, right?

“I-It’s just looks too good!!” Taichi’s eyes were practically sparkling. He looked at you again “Are you sure?!”

Not being able to hold back, a burst of laughter came out of you, watching him being so melodramatic. Taichi had become a pillar in your daily life and you couldn’t be happier nowadays “Of course I want all of you to try it!”

Juza was about to start eating when he noticed Taichi holding his breath “…Y’ok?”

The redhead turned to him, eyes wide open “Wh-what?! Of course! I…” he couldn’t stop looking at you. Your smile laughing just then had been the most real and most bright thing he had ever seen.

“You look like you are going to pass out”

“They are right Taichi, you are red” you frowned confused.

“Pl-please ignore it!!”

Juza

Now it gets more serious

He doesn’t know you personally? But sees you around Veludo Station

If there’s someone who also knows what it feels like to feel insecure about oneself, it’s this boy

You are nice, so it makes him angry when he sees you dejected

He would usually stay quiet but can’t help wanting to help you feel better about yourself

Just like Mankai helped him

Might ask for help at the dorm?

He listens to you

None of the Mankai students from Ouka public high school took the train to get to school, but they pretty much had to pass in front of the station to get there so Juza already recognized you the first time you two crossed paths that day.

“Shit”

“I’m so sorry, Juza-san! I swear I thought I had put it in my bag last night!”

They were sprinting at full force. They had had to go back to the dorm to get Taichi’s project and Tenma had gone on a shot earlier in the morning, so it wasn’t like they could even ask Igawa to take them with the car.

“Now you don’t look so arrogant, uh?”

Juza stopped on his tracks when he heard the yelling from not so far away and then noticed you. Call it instinct from all of his fights, but he could tell what type the situation was going on.

“Do I have something on my face?”

You gripped the trip of your school bag, trying to calm down. Those two men reeked alcohol. “No, I was just-“

“Then why do you keep glaring at me like that, uh?”

“I was just trying to help the old lady there with her train tickets. It’s almost time and you two were-“

You were in the middle of what looked like a discussion against two adults who had now started raising their voices and moving their hands aggresively around you. People watched from the distance and whispered, but no one seemed to try and stop it.

“You know them, Juza-san?” Taichi approached the boy worried.

The answer was no. He had never talked to you.

It didn’t matter.

“Get goin’… I’ll catch up”

You looked around getting worried. No one seemed to care that two old men were raising their voices at you in the middle of the street. You felt desperate. Was it because of your so-called intimidating looks? Again? You mentally cursed as you tried to push them out of the way “Ok, just let me go and-“

One of them pushed you back “You tryin’ somethin’ now?”

The anger mixed with fear. You decided to start shouting when a boy your age grabbed them by the shoulders and dragged them far from you.

“Got a problem, old men?”

You blinked, not comprehending the current situation. Was he helping you? He also looked like he was up to no good, his voice a mere growl and menacing stare. However, it was directed to them.

“Get out of the way, doesn’t matter to you”

“How ‘bout you two do it before”

Was there going to be a fight? The two men must have noticed it too because they grew quiet, grumbling and looking at each other.

“Relax man… let’s not get nervous”

“Then get the hell out of here”

“Fuck’s up with people’s faces man? Everyone looking damn scary and shit…” both left the station as Juza turned to you. You looked tired.

“… y’ok?”

You jumped when he directed his attention to you “It’s… okay” a small sigh came out of your lips, but you smiled grateful “I’m used to it. I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t feel bothered by it by now”

Juza frowned confused. The times he had seen you around you were always helping someone or humming to yourself. You shouldn’t be used to those reactions “What did…” he saw you looking at the ground, a complex expression going on your face that he couldn’t understand “…What did they want from you?”

You shrugged “I... accidentally bumped into them when I was helping an old lady. Apologized but started making a scene when they had a look at my face”

Something in those sentences felt too familiar “…because you look angry” he couldn’t help how it came more as a statement than a question.

You felt the comment going straight through you.

“I… am scary looking. It happens. I try not to stand out but …” you gestured vaguely at the crowd that was already leaving after the scene had been solved “Anyway, I need to go to school. Thanks again”

Juza watched your back as you left to enter inside the station, a knot forming in his guts.

............................................

“Everything okay, Juza-kun?”

The purple-haired boy looked up, leaving aside his thoughts “’night, director”

“I saw you a bit disconnected from practice today” Izumi sat next to him in the garden of the dorm. It was a peaceful night. Some crickets sounded in the distance and most people in the dorm were already in their rooms sleeping.

He thought again about you. He had been going around what he could do. But what? He was just a stranger.

“There’s… this person” Juza mused, unsure. He hadn’t even asked for your name “I see them and uh, know they’re a good person but… they said they look intimidatin’ and, dunno, reminded me of my old days”

He scratched his head. It was confusing him why he felt like this. Izumi smiled and leaned against the bench they were sitting.

“So you are saying they are insecure about their looks” Juza nodded and she sighed “…It’s a tough thing, being in peace with oneself. Especially if you get used to receiving a specific type of response from others”

“I don’t know what to tell’em”

Izumi hummed looking at the night sky “Maybe you shouldn’t try forcing anything. Just being there to support them if something happens and listen to their thoughts can be a good start, I think”

Juza frowned. Would it be that easy? “Think’so?

She smiled, turning back to him “That’s what we did with you, right?”

.........................................................

The next day he spotted you, you were looking around with a girl crying next to you.

You had found her alone. Thinking she must have been lost, you crouched down to calm her. The moment she looked at you though, she ran away.

“No, wait!” you ran behind her “You’re going to-!”

The kid fell to the ground, looking around bawling. You raised her unaware of a certain autumn member following you “Shhh… it’s okay” you wiggled her. It wasn’t a success.

“Maika!!”

A man came running to you out of breath and you handed the girl to him “Hi, you should be careful, she was-“

You stopped when you saw the look the father gave you as he hugged her. Was… he scared? Did he believe you had tried something?

“They helped. You should be thankful” you heard Juza’s voice from behind.

“Y-you’re right, I’m sorry” the father bowed nervously and held his daughter.

You didn’t respond as they left.

You looked up at the sky. It was stupid. The girl was safe and you should be happy, not feeling like you were about to cry.

“…I’m sorry,” you whispered. Juza held his breath until you looked back into his gold orbs, sadness swirling “Do you have a minute…? I just…”

Without saying a word, you both walked to the nearest bench and you sat in trance.

As soon as you locked eyes with him, again. Seeing another pair of daunting but soft eyes, similar to what you wished you had, something in your crumbled.

You started talking. Juza heeded about how tired you were, how you had always struggled to be comfortable with your looks, insecure of your intimidating eyes, of the whispers that followed wherever you went, even when you tried your best to do the opposite.

He didn’t say anything, allowing you to release that emotional vent, even if his first instincts were to deny your mean comments. Minutes later, you had finally calmed down.

“I don’t get why you are so kind to me” your hands were now wrapped around the can Juza brought to you at one point.

He pressed his lips.

“…If I told you, I would probably scare you away”

“Please” you scoffed, scrubbing your eyes to get rid of the tears that had started coming out before. Was he kidding? He had been the highlight of the last few days “You could never scare me”

Juza raised his eyebrows, surprised to hear you sounding so confident. His heart felt lighter “Well, neither could you”

You looked at each other in silence before you offered a small, thankful smile.

“I’m Y/N”

“…Juza Hyodo”

#A3! Actor Training Game #a3 act #a3! act! addict! actors!#a3!#a3 #a3 juza #a3! juza #juza hyodo x reader #juza x reader #juza hyodo #taichi #taichi nanao #a3 taichi #taichi x reader #a3! taichi #a3 headcanons #short scenarios

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eukvlipt · 5 years

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when I was 24 (in 2013) I went to live to santiago because my girlfriend at the time was living there. we met online, I was from a smaller city, started a long distance reationship, and we wanted to be closer to each other. we were happy for like a year, but then we both realized it wasn’t working. love wasn’t the problem (as always in my case), we had a lot of love to give each other, the real problem was the lack of life in me. we were different and not compatible. I was very depressed back then, depressed and depressing. she deserved better than that, she was full of life, and i was already dead, so we happily part ways. i knew she was going to be better off without me, so it was an easy decision. i've never used my love as a prison. we stopped talking right there, in good terms, and again, as always, I was alone. no friends in a city that always felt too noisy and rude for me. at first i was ok with my own loneliness, but as the days passed i started to feel, for the first time in my life, that i was simply unloveable. i was working as a writer in an office at that time, i remember i went to work with a deadpan face for the next weeks, sat on my chair, did my job, and got back to my room. always in silence, always thinking about my painful reality. am i condemned to this kind of rejection? is it going to be like this everytime? why love isn’t enough? is my love worthless? i always thought love was enough... should i dare to love again? one night i was reading steppenwolf by hermann hesse, i had been hooked by the book for a couple of days at this point, it was the only thing i was doing in my spare time. past midnight, i read the last words of steppenwolf and immediately felt incredibly cold, cold and alone, and my mind started to trick me into accepting that coldness and loneliness was my present as well as my future. i don’t know if i understood correctly the message of the book, but that was the feeling i got from it. i started to dissociate. i started to feel desperate. i started to feel dead. i never felt so alone in my life. i needed to get warm again, to feel human again, alive again, but i was in a big city i didn’t like, without friends, without someone to talk to, without someone to trust those levels of vulnerability. the only person i knew and trusted in that city was my now ex girlfriend. she was the only person i trusted, and i wanted to see her, but at that moment, i stupidly thought it wouldn’t be enough to just talk to her from out of nowhere and tell her i was “really sad”. i thought maybe i wouldn’t be able to explain how deep my pain was, how worrying my soul ache felt. maybe she’d just understimate everything, tell me i’m bothering her, confirm i’m indeed alone... and at that moment, i was feeling too anxious and suicidal to accept that kind of rejection. so, in that cloudy desperation, i went to the kitchen, picked up a sharp knife, went back to my room, and started to cut myself everywhere. it was the first and only time i harmed myself in that sad way. i cutted everywhere, in my arms, my stomach, my legs, hands, everywhere, then i stopped, lied down comfortably in my bed, and started to watch my blood staining the sheets. seconds passed after the last cut, i started to breath slowly again, got calmer, and picked up my phone. i called her, and told her something like this: “i’m sorry to bother you, but i feel really sad, i just finished a very depressing book and reality hit me like a brick, i feel cold, i feel dead, i feel alone in this world, i need someone to talk to, i need to see someone, i don’t know anyone in this city, you’re the only person i trust, please, i need you here, just to see you, to talk with someone other than myself... by the way, i’m sorry but i was feeling suicidal and desperate so i cutted myself everywhere with a knife and i’m bleeding a lot... i’m sorry, i need you to be here, please”. i’ve never been an aggresive person so she knew i wasn’t going to harm her or anything like that. she took a cab and in 20 minutes found me in my bed pale, cold and with blood everywhere. when i first saw her coming thru that door i was so, so relieved, i smiled for the first time in weeks. all of this might sound dumb and overly dramatic now, but at that moment i really felt that alone, that cold, that desperate, and i really needed her, the only person i trusted in the world, to bring back the warm to my soul. she was the only person i could see in the eyes without feeling judged or small. i needed to see in her eyes that my love wasn’t worthless, that my love went somewhere deep. i needed to see in her eyes that someone cared. during that night she was warm and caring, but also angry. “you didn’t had to do this to get my attention! you can kill yourself doing this!”. i was so ashamed, so sorry... i was like “i’m sorry, i’m dumb, it doesn’t matter, i’ll be fine, please stay here for a little while”. i didn’t asked her to get back together or to kiss me or something like that, i just wanted to be with her, with a friend, with someone who cares, for a little while. she softly cured the wounds that are now scars and reminders of an emotional low. before she left, she took my copy of the steppenwolf because it was all bloody and it would remind me of that night. to this day she have that book, and to this day i don’t have that night in my memories. i totally forgot about that episode until a few moments ago when i saw a copy of the book here in tumblr and remembered everything. i write all this as something to read in the future, as a reminder of that precious lesson i learned the wrong way that night: that my love is not worthless and it makes people to care about me, that there’s people out there who care about me, even if we don’t talk everyday, even if i can’t see it, and that they’re always willing to help, even when it feels like to be cared for is not something for me

#text #text post #schizoid personality disorder #schizoid #story time #i hope this doesn't read as boring as it looks

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