currently thinking abt parks 4x18 operation ann where leslie throws a valentines day party and has a speed dating section so she can set ann up. but instead of that its a speed dating section for me so They can set me up, since they think i'm single (i'm not). i have no problem w the party it's totally fine but i would Hate the speed dating/set up aspect. i hate it sm that i would purposefully act as boring or offputting so i don't have to deal w these guys HBSJCN. ok anyways. thinking abt tom calling jean to visit the party for me, which would then be a parallel to 4x6 end of the world where jean calls lucy to come to the end of the world party for tom (;---;) (also context: tom and lucy are together for a bit). thinking abt him coming over to my table and chatting w me and me having to act indifferent abt him being there. thinking abt me trying to act cool and not laugh or smile while being with him in case i accidentally tip ann or leslie off if they're watching (also tom but for him that would be a positive. Not so much a positive for my moms ahskdn), but jean being.. himself he purposefully tries to make me break. thinking abt the layers of having to act like normal friends in a romantic setting while secretly dating and the tension that brings. ough
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