i miss Michinaga so much

i love him so much

can't believe he did nothing wrong in his life and whatever he did i don't care

Was it hard for you to like Sebastian and Shinobi at the same time? I really find Sebastian interesting but it’s hard to get past what he did to his son and wondered if you had any thoughts on it.

Short answer: No, it wasn’t hard for me. I think it’s fine to like both abusers and their victims when it comes to fictional characters. But it’s also fine NOT to. Every has different comfort and limits and what they can enjoy, and all are valid. I can’t tell you what yours should be, as it’s a highly personal thing, but I am happy you find Sebastian interesting and that you like Shinobi too! Long answer: Lots of people like characters who did horrible things to characters they also like. Many people who fans of Magneto also love the Maximoffs, even though he abused them. Many people who are Mystique fans also are fans of Nightcrawler (who she threw off a cliff as a child to save her own skin from an angry mob) and of Rogue (whom she has horribly manipulated, messed with, and tried to murder/stabbed in the stomach) This goes beyond parent/child dynamics----plenty of people are huge fans of both Sabretooth and Wolverine, of both Hannibal Lector and Will Graham, of both Cruella deVille and puppy dogs. In real life, you do have to choose between abusers/aggressors and victims, and the only moral choice is the victim, but in fiction you can find the both of them to be equally enjoyable and interesting---many people in fact like villains more, and this is just fine, and in fact perfectly normal! I’ve heard some people feel they are “weird” for liking villains more but in fact it’s super duper common, especially for villains that are compelling, well-written, sympathetic, interesting, and/or just plain fun. Also, them being fictional means that I don’t think we need to “get past” the horrible things they do in order to like them. I think that, unlike a real person, I can fully and totally embrace that Sebastian Shaw is a terrible human being who has done some unforgivable things, and have that be part of WHY I like him. It’s okay to like characters who did bad stuff BECAUSE they are bad, not IN SPITE of it. And you also don’t need to like a character at all to find them interesting. My favorite book is “Lolita” by Vladimir Nabokov, and the narrator/”protagonist” is a HORRIBLE person, to say the least. He’s absolutely despicable and I could talk all day about how much. But I’ve read this book multiple times and listened to it on audio, that’s how good it is, and part of that is that the character is undeniably engaging and interesting. And I HATE him. I don’t even like him the way I like trash faves like Shaw or Fabian, I just hate him. But unlike other characters who I just CAN’T READ because they make me too uncomfortable, Humbert keeps me fascinated. Similarly, I think you could passionately despise Shaw and still find him interesting. But also many people just can’t enjoy a character that did horrible things, and that’s also fine. There are some characters that I can’t come around to liking because their deeds make me too uncomfortable. There’s little rhyme or reason to it either---some of the characters I can’t come around to are objectively far more nuanced and complex than Shaw and my other trash faves, or have made attempts at redemption, or what they did wasn’t as bad, etc. But I just...can’t. And child abuse in particular is a type of evil that, unlike attempts at world domination or force-feeding someone with encephalitis an ear to frame them as a cannibal serial killer, is a very common real-world evil that many people will personally encounter in their lifetimes, so I can see why it would in particular be a deal-breaker for being able to like a character. And there’s nothing wrong with that either. So if at the end of the day you just can’t deal with liking or reading a character that beat the shit out of his son? 110% valid, you don’t need to justify that, and no one should get to lecture you about “oh but it’s fiction” or whatever (they won’t with Shaw, because he’s unpopular, but they might with more popular characters) And if you do like him, people shouldn’t get to tell you you’re wrong for that THAT either (though they will because people suck, but they SHOULDN’T) It’s a totally personal subjective thing, and I don’t think there’s a moral right or wrong to it. Enjoy what you enjoy, but don’t try to make yourself like anything you don’t like either, and don’t judge or come after others for their tastes. Or if you do judge---which, yeah I do too sometimes, I can’t help it, some stuff has made my hair stand on end--at least don’t bully anyone. Which I don’t think you do, I’m speaking very generally about fandom now. I know that was wordy---I’m sorry, I’m VERY prone to over-explaining things---but I hope that helped your dilemma!

aos for the ask meme. or, if you've already gotten that (or you just wanna do both) the wider MCU.

the first character i ever fell in love with: Skye. Or Ward. I can’t really remember which came first. Probably Skye because she was so relatable and quirky and positive but I also loved grumpy pretending-not-to-care SO Ward. 

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not: Skye… or Daisy I guess. I started losing interest around halfway through S2 with the whole Afterlife plot (and then just stopped watching the show altogether after the S2 finale lol) but S3 was the one that really left a bad taste in my mouth. And the start of S4 with emo vigilante Daisy. I don’t dislike her, but it’s a far cry from the love I had for her in the early days. Same with Jemma, actually. I really liked her in S1, this cute, quirky if slightly awkward scientist willing to bend the rules when she believes it’s the right thing to do. Afterwards things got… complicated. I like her more on her own, outside of FS scenes (which, when does that ever happen?) Can she/they ever have a storyline that doesn’t involve saving the other one? For science? No?

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not: Hmm… I don’t think I have one? Once I decide I like something, I fall for it pretty hard. lol. I guess Daisy/Lincoln. That’s a funny one, because when they sort of started flirting in S2 I liked the idea of them together, and I thought they had a lot of potential. But once it actually happened I wasn’t into it at all. It felt kinda rushed and I just didn’t really see any chemistry between them. It was an ‘expectations vs. reality’ sort of thing for me.

my ultimate favorite character™: Oh gosh… Fitz, I guess? I mean, obviously I’m trash for Ophelia but I actually wasn’t all that fond of the whole Aida arc at the beginning… I liked her more in the Framework, and all the potential she had as a human (or Inhuman, whatever.) It’s funny because he sort of grew on me. I admittedly didn’t pay much attention to him in S1 because I was so wrapped up in Skyeward, but once they killed that storyline and started developing his character from the nerdy sidekick/comic relief to an actual, fleshed-out character dealing with brain damage, then yes I became involved. Still mourned the untimely demise of Skyeward in S2 though.

prettiest character: Fitz or Ward if it’s more ‘handsome’ pretty. Out of the ladies… Daisy, I suppose? Also Stephanie Malick because personal bias - yes I’ve loved Bethany Joy Lenz since One Tree Hill and they totally should’ve let her stick around for longer than two episodes god damn it.

my most hated character: I’m not particularly fond of Jemma. Or what they’ve done with her, I suppose. But god damn it if there’s one character I hate it’s Ruby. Really glad that arc is over.

my OTP: This one’s pretty obvious. Skye/Ward and Fitz/Ophelia. Hehe. 

my NOTP: Fitzsimmons sorry not sorry.

favorite episode: (In no particular order): 5.14, 4.16 and 1.17. Self Control and, frankly, all the Framework episodes, are strong contenders, but that’s my podium. 

saddest death: I’ve got to say Fitz. Mostly because it was so sudden and I honestly wasn’t expecting it at all. I genuinely didn’t think they’d have the balls to kill off one half of FS, especially on-screen. I was literally expecting him to miraculously pull through and just have his legs amputated or something. It felt so surreal. Of course, then they brought CryoFitz back into play so really it was all just one big cop-out (figures) but the shock factor was definitely there. It was just the right amount of sad and downright distressing and even unsettling, with the way he didn’t fully comprehend what was happening and just…slipped away. I also really liked how they didn’t cheapen the moment by making it all about FS, which was… honestly such a nice surprise? I preferred the shocked and unaware approach they took, and how he spent his last moments with… kind of the two most unlikely people - May whom he hasn’t ever really bonded with, a relationship which is made especially awkward by their experience in the Framework and the ‘super villain interrogation’ in 5.15; and Mack, who literally told him days or even hours earlier that he needs ‘fixing.’ It was all very weird and bizarre and surprising, and definitely felt like a solid punch to the gut. At least, until they straight up announced they’re going to essentially retcon it… Eh. Also, Ophelia? Maybe less sad and more just downright disturbing and gratuitously violent and graphic. 

favorite season: If Season 1 and 4.16-20 and 5.14 could somehow be merged into one season… that would be it. lol. Overall, I have to say S1. Most people hate it and call it the weakest season and, sure, it felt very formulaic and had this predictable ‘monster of the week’ format at first but it was genuinely enjoyable to watch. Every other season after that I just found myself getting angry at something. lol. I actually liked pretty much every character in S1 to some degree and because nothing was set in stone or made explicitly canon yet, there was a lot more freedom shipping-wise. There was no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ ship, or ‘no you can’t like this character because of X, Y, Z’ it was just whatever you were into. For a while it seemed like pretty much all combinations of the Bus Kids ships had a decent chance of sailing. That’s a pretty damn good feeling. 

least favorite season: Hands down Season 5. I wasn’t a fan of Season 3 either (though admittedly I did like certain episodes/aspects of it) and Season 2 could’ve done without that whole ‘Real SHIELD’ plot but Season 5 takes the cake. I mean… seriously. It was a let down, especially after the hugely successful Framework arc (the show’s strongest point so far imo.) So naturally there was a lot of expectation and it kind of fell flat. They had maybe 2 or 3 strong episodes. The rest was riddled with plot holes, blatant fan service, lines that sounded like they pulled straight from fanfic, radical and often inexplicable shifts in character behaviour from one episode to the next that could be classified as borderline character assassination, frequent lack of continuity, too much time spent on characters that ultimately turned out to be irrelevant/got quickly killed off, writers seemingly forgetting what had happened in literally the previous episode, etc. There’s really no excuse for that mess. lol. Not to mention the at times pretty obvious budget cuts and the lack of decent lighting which made the space pod downright unwatchable at times. Really feels like the weakest, most disjointed and confused season of all. Which is a shame. Because it could’ve been great. But it just really… wasn’t.

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate: I don’t want to say Jemma but… Jemma? I guess part of the problem is that I feel there tends to be a discrepancy between the actual canonic on-screen representation of Jemma and fanon Jemma, at least in my experience. She (and Daisy) seem to get put on this imaginary pedestal a lot of the time and given leeway and all these concessions that other characters aren’t allowed. Sometimes I think I hate fandom’s approach to and treatment of certain characters more than I hate the actual character. Also, Mack and Bobbi? I feel like they’re pretty massive fandom faves as well and I never really got invested in them. I don’t hate them, they’re just… Meh. 

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: Leopold, the ultimate trash fave. Hehe. He’s just so deliciously messed up and complex and it’s so much fun to explore all of that. He’s like the one villain AOS completely unintentionally got right. Magnetic, charismatic, complicated. Sure, he only ever really shows up in about five episodes but in those five or six episodes they build a really solid character. We’re not told or shown everything, but that’s the point. Sometimes the implication is enough - and it’s super fun to fill in those gaps. And those suits. I mean, c’mon. lol

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: Literally no one on this show is a cinnamon roll anymore. lol. I think Ophelia easily could’ve had a really satisfying redemption arc if the writers were actually willing to get into that instead of just shelving their more complex characters and turning to the safe option of ‘let’s kill the baddie.’ Ward could’ve possibly been redeemed too (up to a certain point at least) but I guess part of his appeal is that he didn’t want to be? Uh… and out of the still alive ones (kind of??), Fitz. He’s had a really tough time literally since S2. I also liked Mace and Radcliffe and I kind of wish they got to stick around for a bit longer.

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: Fitz/Ophelia. Obviously. I guess one of the more weirder ones is Hive/Stephanie. That’s… not remotely canon (I mean, I guess they kissed? lol) but in my headcanon Framework verse it is. Let’s be honest, there’s probably tons more because I always latch on to the more obscure stuff, but I can’t really think of anything else at the moment.

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship: Philinda and Mackelena. I don’t ship either but I guess I can kind of see the appeal and I wish them all the best for the sake of the shippers because both of these pairings are frequently overshadowed by… well, the main ship. I can totally understand and sympathize with their frustration. 

awesome! i've figured out what i'm going to do for your gift. excited to start working on it!

i like to see a lonnie with layers. she likes dressing girly, she's very caring and considerate, but she believes she should be able to do everything the boys can do. not that she wants to be an army general or anything, but she likes to prove that she can do things lmao

yesss i loved how they had her be curious and unafraid of the villain kids. and when she became their friend, she was loyal to them and didn't want her friends to be sent back to the isle.

oh good. after i sent that message, i was worried i was a little too harsh about mal/evie. i don't hate them. i've just gotten pretty tired of the ship and there's so many better evie ships out there imo lmao. yeah, i have gotten a little tired of that other ship too. i don't mind it as much if i see it in a fic, but i don't go out seeking fics where they are the focus.

ooh i hope you get the chance to sketch on christmas break! i don't really get a break for christmas, but i am taking a couple of days off work, which will be nice.

i just got the devastating news the jatp has officially been cancelled. so fandom's ideas for s2 are the only ideas we'll be getting. 😭 i'm definitely going to have to find a good s2 fic to heal my wounded heart. you have the best taste in jatp characters. those are my faves too. i go back and forth on luke because sometimes i just love his energy, other times i just don't care as much. and fandom has ruined reggie for me (and the most popular ship involving him). i'm just gonna stay in my corner enjoying willie/alex lmao

i can't believe we've just got one more week til christmas. i am totally not prepared lmao. what's your favorite christmas-themed tv episode or special (of a show that isn’t christmas-centric)?

- gifter anon

oh yeah definitely like layers to characters. i just meant i didn't like the abrupt shit that d2 did for her, you know? i liked her just fine as is in d1, and i wouldn't have minded a legally blonde type of thing with the swords like a "what, like it's hard?" as she showed her skill, but for her to go full on she-warrior type of mode was a little disappointing

but still! i do like lonnie xD she will remain a fun character to play with, and she should probably be used more than she is [i say as if i read fic lmao]

oh no trust, you are completely safe with speaking "unpopular" opinions or whatever with me, mostly because i am the king of that apparently always lol a lot of people find it funny that i wrote and am still writing my trash fic the way i am because i am so very much indifferent to the two main "gay ships" of the fandom as well as carlos, the fandom darling, as a character. but like. it's fine, as i am capable of keeping characters in character lol

well, i say christmas break, but really i only have four days off, but! i will be teleworking from my aunt's house until the 7th, so i'm treating that as a whole break away from my home lol but i'm still hoping to maybe start sketching again

and you've just now given me the news that it's officially cancelled. i wish i could say i'm surprised, but i never trusted netflix after they cancelled dark crystal age of resistance. they simply just don't care how well a show does with either gaining fanbase or awards. so i knew what i was getting into the moment i decided to watch jatp

maybe another network will pick it up, maybe it's just over for good. either way, i still love what we got

and i know!! i still need to make cards lmao AND OH GOSH i think my favorite christmas themed episode has to be comfort and joy from justice league!! i love it sooo much especially j'onn and clark my boys!! got damn i am such a dc girl at heart, and everyone even dc themselves can pry the dcau from my cold dead fingers

oh, also, the episode from hey! arnold as well. i remember crying lmao

i'm excited to see what you have in store, nonnie!

hakuouki reimeiroku ep 3

oK im watching hakuouki reimeiroku ep 3 hehehe AND IT GIVES ME SUCH GOOD VIBES I CANT??? OK HOWEVER IT IS, HERE GOES NOTHING

its not that im super shameless or what not, posting when theres no actual audience but. BUT. IM DOING THIS SO I CAN BREATHE LOL I NEED SOMEWHERE TO VENT OMFG OK

waitwaitwait whats this tension between saito and okita????or does okita's smart senses allow him to feel something off with saito that ordinary hoomans like us cant seem to feel ?!?!?!? Omfg

will we get a peek of hijikata and okita's past through this season???omfg bcs im pretty interested in how they grew so loyal to kondou???? yes yes yes and im even willing to play their game if need be idk but i heard PC otoges are really different as compared to mobile otoges and i may not like PC otoges as much...??? IDK THOUGH I WONT KNOW UNLESS I TRY. but im putting that off my todo list for now tbh though im a real sucker for good bg stories of characters omfg

anyway do people say hakuouki or hakuoki???omg ok wtv hahaha anw i rly like the love /bromance btwn heisuke and ibuki omg isit bcs their age r relatively similar ??? i freaking love the portrayal im crying is ibuki romanceable on the otoge???? Im rly a sucker for new characters and im immensely entranced by ibuki omg my top 5 hakuouki men (in order of most favourite to least) would be perhaps harada, okita, saitou, ibuki then hijikata???omfg i dont even know??? Ok omg anws i rly love how this is going

Also im a sucker for real good opening lyrics and hakuouki has def achieved it and my heart is shivering HAHAHAHAH IM CRY LAUGHING BCS SANNAN AND HIJIKATA R SO TRIGGERED RN @ the compliments being thrown to serizawa lmao it can be seen that hes the obvious villain in this anime. unless thrs a massive plot twist lol near the end

i still think chizuru's dad is kinda sneaky lol HAHAHA ok this sounds kinda gay bcs it is but lol shinpachi x serizawa make a cute otp like wtf serizawa ur obviously into shinpachi's 6 PACKS LOL i bet so i mean the abs r in ur eyes how do u not go gay for those packs...??!?!?!??? HAHAHAHAH

omfg. hothothot. Omg breathes angrily forget about the serizawa x shinpachi otp bcs shinpachi is too good for that old stupid dude omfg he has to stop triggering my bby okita bcs its triggering me as well like BRO WTF IS WRONG W U STOP FLINGING INSULTS TO MY SOUJI OKITA BBY OMG WTF ?!??!?!?@???@?@?@? 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

Angryyy (ok as u can see im a super possessive lil brat when it comes to my fave chars which means i can turn rly hostile if u were to insult any of my biases lol) omfg HAHAHAH OK IM ENTERTAINED AGN BCS this female character kosuzu (??? Ok she has quite the character and i love it omg

I LOVE PERSONALITIES LIKE HERS BUT ARENT U BEING A LIL TOO DEFIANT RN HAHAHAHAH omg omg okay i always sense killing intent frm okita bcs he exudes it ALL the time like it radiates out of his grin but this time... this time, i think okita is gunna murder serizawa lol thefuk

I mean i would too so im with team okita lmao cries im a sucker for kind ppl so im a sucker for hijikata omfg i guess i just sort of got turned off by how the anime very purposefully made him the main love interest in the other seasons bcs ok this is just personal preferences but i usually dont like the "main" guys hahahah ok idkwhy lol i always found the side characters being more interesting and charming so theres that lol

((Also why i didnt choose to go for either lancelot or ray in ikerev and why i didnt choose nobunaga in ikesen OR luke in lost alice hahaha ok just randomly stating stuff rn lol ))

hahaha wait im dying and laughing but wtf saitou wtf i didnt know u were such a erm complex and sentimental man ok actl i knew but wtf r u a nerd???hahahaha omg reading out the taste of the food ingredients like bro omg jahahaha

omfg ok that was unexpected. 20mins pass real fast when u rly enjoy it. anw i wld hv assumed that okita killed 100 men before so i cant believe he hasnt killed any. i wonder how far away this was before they met chizuru?

anw the current okita is unbelievably damaged. like serizawa has probably done a lot of mental harm to my grinning baby and i dislike it to a really large extent. im so pissed omg my smirking bby has turned into someone whos close minded and only thinks abt killing off rogue samurais. dats rly bad.

I HOPE OKITA RECEIVES HEALING ASAP ;; MAYBE FROM RYUNOSUKE OR SOMETHING TBVH. And i would like to make a point that sannan is unbelievably hot but incredibly underrated and wronged just bcs he acted weirdly in the 2 seasons. he deserves less hate ok hes just a precious scheming lil loyal bby.

oh this is random and really out of context of the anime but my dad just told me hes letting me sleep on the better bed today while he sleeps on the mattress. WHY???? omg why dad why u gotta be so nice all of a sudden???u creepz but ok love u daddy lololol ♡♡♡

omfg no ok i just saw the preview of ep 4 and my blood froze like omg no okita u cant omg ik u have ur own reasons and insecurities and shit but u got to act rationally omfg 😭😭😭😭 seeing my bias in pain leaves me feeling rly desolate omg im so ...... djsjejwjwjeiekakkamwk

HAHA usually ppl take 20mins for 1 ep but i take 1h bcs i keep typing shit like this midway bcs i cant contain my feels lol omg im a joke and i thought of this joke hahaha ok wait

i must be a trash lover. bcs i love myself

HAHAHAH WHOLESOME QUOTE™ by urs truly ;)))) tho its questionable if i truly love myself tho id say im trying to hahahahahahH