#nyways. im not gonna do anything about this yet i dont think | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ofnina-blog1 · 7 years

Note

“” ⁇ ✘ ♀ KA-CHOW

i diDNT EVEN REBLOG THE MEME U PUNK but ily so im gna do it nyway

send “” for a text that WASN’T SENT.

[ 1:02 AM ] nina ➝ jade: god i’ve been staring at my phone since it hit midnight because it’s your birthday now and yet i have no fucking clue what to say to you. a happy birthday just doesn’t seem like enough and i don’t think i even deserve to wish you a happy birthday after everything that i’ve done, but i’m just gonna’ regret it even more if i don’t say anything, so here we go. happy birthday, jade. i don’t know where you came from and how i was lucky enough to meet someone like you, but i did and i guess i’ll just have to thank the stars for that one later. you have done nothing but bring happiness and beauty and perspective to my life and i know i fucking ruined it all but i hope you know that you deserve nothing short of the universe and i’m sorry that i couldn’t be the one to give it to you. i hate that we can’t even talk to each other anymore and i hate that it’s my fault and i’ve managed to lose one of the only people i’ve ever genuinely cared about, but i guess there’s no use in dwelling on the past. i’m sorry. i’m so fucking sorry, jade. happy birthday, love.

send “⁇” for a DRUNK text.

[ 11:58 PM ] nina ➝ jade: lol hey sO i’ve been thinking and i think .it’s tme we finally talk abuot everythin g[ 11:58 PM ] nina ➝ jade: i never even got to apo lgoize? like what the fc k lmfao i rlly suck hu h [ 11:59 PM ] nina ➝ jade: pleasae dont iginore this i dont wantn u to hate me anymore p leas se

send “✘” for a HATEFUL text.

[ 3:04 PM ] nina ➝ jade: don’t you think it’s time to get over it? like clearly we weren’t working and were never gonna’ work so why are you acting like i ruined something serious[ 3:04 PM ] nina ➝ jade: if i knew you were gonna’ be this sensitive then i never would’ve gotten involved with you in the first place lmfao like this is ridiculous [ 3:05 PM ] nina ➝ jade: how hard is it to move on and just let it go? but go off i guess, if you wanna hate me then be my guest

send “♀” for a HEARTBREAKING text.

[ 12:37 AM ] nina ➝ jade: i really fucked up didn’t i [ 12:38 AM ] nina ➝ jade: i don’t know why i’m doing this to myself and i don’t know why i’m telling you about it, but i was just reading our old texts and looking at some pictures and i can’t believe i ruined the one good thing i’ve ever had? i don’t know what you ever saw in me and i’m sure as hell that i never deserved your attention in the first place and i know we aren’t on good terms right now, but i might’ve had a little to drink and i can’t believe i let all of this go. you deserve so, so much better that what i gave you and i think i’m honestly relieved that you hate me. i don’t deserve to be in your life, but i hope you know i’m eternally grateful that you graced mine, even if it was only briefly. i’ve never been so close to loving someone and it’s the scariest thing in the fucking world and i’m sorry i didn’t know how to handle it and i’m sorry i pushed you away in the worst way possible. i promise i didn’t mean any of it, i just needed to make you leave and it worked, so i guess i have no right to be saying any of this. i don’t know if we’ll ever be okay again, but i hope you know how much you mean to me, both then and now. please don’t forget that. please don’t let my last words to you overshadow all of our good times.

#i cant Read i dont kno what any of this says nd i blame jal 4 Everything #i luv bein emo on a saturday night !#sunday morning !#*:・ﾟ✧ ┈ PART HEAVEN AND EQUAL PARTS HELL › ‘ MEMES ’#*:・ﾟ✧ ┈ › ‘ FT. JADE ’#rlyjade

3 notes · View notes

arvoze · 7 years

Photo

man, this was sent like, nearly 2 weeks ago or w/e, and i completely ignored it bc i didnt have the energy/ability to care (you literally sent these when it was between 1 - 2am my time) but, it was recently brought to my attn that you put both me + lal in your byf (because i.... banned you from a server i guess, and that means lals at fault too?) so.

i guess it’s high time i answer this lmao. maybe you wont even see this. maybe youll vague abt me for the next few weeks and try and make me out to be a bad person, but i dont care lol. anyways this is under a cut bc its pointless drama i guess. ask 2 tag

additionally: this isnt rly meant to act as a callout post. but since u asked on anon (and im pretty sure we’re mutually blocked) i cant really talk about this privately. this is mostly just.. well. answering your question. ive written this little paragraph after i’ve written everything below, so like, idk dude, it happens sometimes, i get rly heated abt shit and then cool down after a while. so this is wild.

edit: i havent read this thru nor do i care about reading it through. are there a bunch of typos? probably. dont care though

i dont rly have the energy to pull up Everything esp because that lke.... requires going thru so many discord messages adn i really just. dont care enough to sift through everything

“but if u dont care why are you writing this” shut up u wanted answers didnt u lol

nyways heres just . some shit lmao

man firstly let’s deal w your post abt my server

+ dont worry! ive got it archived in case u delete it bc who knows what ud do lol. nyways

lets just do some breakin apart on this:

i was lterally shaking at the time and having my OWN panic issues but i guess you dont rly take that into consideration lol?

this is one of the biggest exaggerations like ... you made it sound like the server was some big special place jdfghdkj theres literally 4 mods and 2 of them didnt even talk to you. the other 2 were me and lal

like half of the server isnt even fucken active on the server and the majority of the other half dont even care about unfollowing/blocking u. what a wild assumption. thts the funniest shit 2 me

please you literally sent me 3 asks when it was way too early in the morning 4 me expecting me to reply as if it was possible for me to give u all the reasons in like 10 minutes jesus christ

ths is one of the ugliest posts ive ever seen + this was posted before you were banned frm the server. several ppl in the server have bpd + i was absolutely not willing to have smeone who says this sht abt their illnesses around (re: the whole “not actively in therapy” and shit. fuck off lol)

here’s some other stuff on my list that you might remember:

(kin stuff) being fully aware that my brother wasn’t - and still isn’t - okay with doubles with a specific character, and that you were specifically warned whilst he was offline, and you knew this was the case, yet decided that your best way of explaining something was..... fuck dude, whats the wording you used? “i’d say but some people here aren’t ok with doubles” or some shit which is! literally just as bad! and tht shit has fucked my bro up so severely tht he still fuckn..... thinks abt + the shit uve said In General (shrugging emoji)

heres a fucken wild ride for u: ur the reason he left th server anyways and why the second i banned u i was immediately happy because holy shit i can talk to my bro again bc i could invite him back! to a chat where he doesnt have to deal w someone who causes him constant panic attacks! wowee

lets not forget me expressing my extreme distaste of lying [person] + r.idged.og + ridg.epho.s but u completely ignoring that shit (+ wowie remember when u said lying was yr friend and that you didnt like me venting negatively abt them bc my nasty experiences r somehow less important than ?? tht shit??? lol anyways)

god the entire fucking drama w the lying shit . i cant believe i was on yr side for a while jdfghkj. that whole fiasco was so shitty. nyways thts nothing to do w me its just something that made so many ppl uncomfy

remember when you left the lying chat and then vented to us about shit but then rejoined the lying chat unbeknownst to us + caused shit again (surprise, i know about that)

you, generally, made several people uncomfortable (myself included), and as the owner of the server, i’d much rather kick one person from the server than have several people being uncomfortable. but if that’s an unreasonable thing to do then please, inform me, because that’s news to me.

whilst i dont support alex or alex’s partner in any way, shape or form (before u try and call me a fucken apologist/supporter/whatever lol), the blatant deliberate misgendering of alex’s partner on your byf was extremely shitty of you (which has since been fixed, but yikes).

(kin stuff) pretending to not be a double around lal, knowing he’s not comfortable with doubles (which, maybe you’re not! but given you’re kin w mc.ree + got that in your byf, and don’t have anything abt not follwing if ur x.phos in ur byf...... boyo)

god theres more but im not willing to dig up all the shit + also dont want to ask other ppl about their personal problems bc thats exposing them to a past/experience they probably want to forget about/never revisit

if u found this? congratulations. you got your answers.

if ur gonna vague abt me? go ahead. i dont really see what ive done wrong lmao.

also, re: why i didn’t tell you anything at all,

i was having a panic attack and almost throwing up

i kept trying to find reasons to keep you in the server, because i didn’t want problems to arise

i will literally never talk to ppl abt this kinda shit privately bc i dont want people to feel bad but 2 late

#jack dont look #bluespace #drama i guess but idk #ive been meaning to get this off my chest for a while but ehhh #i didnt talk abt the thing that pushed me to do stuff but its like ... not rly worth mentioning i guess #ths is sometthing ppl can skip over idc i just wanted to finally answer this

1 note · View note

clubsclover · 5 years

Text

hs epligogg

MEAT ->

john kin real! nah bt the hollow existential nature of meat rlly hit me nd fucked with my distorted sense of self. ive been sorta thinking of myself as a cordyceps controlling my dumb human fleshbody nd reading this made me think in 2nd person nd its an odd feel.

roxy+callie being nonbinary fill me with good juice. ive never read anything with a long established character going thru the same sort of gender stuff as me nd i loved it! happy for them.

i guess this is supposed to be dirk's absolute rock bottom? worst case? i like detective pony dirk more bc he still has hope+growth but this dirk has cast his humanity aside nd i dont like it lmao. muse callie at least is an observer nd keeps their narration plain? ish? tho i kno they're not objective see: jane+trickster mode

jade was fucked yet again!! no matter who's controlling the story they use jade as a plot pawn!! fuck. at least the pseudo-canon nature of it lets me decide to use fanon for jade's endgame. jade harley is doing her best to be fulfilled nd in my reality? sshes doing great.

lmao at dirk being so jealous of vriska being a keystone of hs that he just flings her into the void. Vriska did nothing wrong going full force as per usual!! nd fucking over rose? manipulating kanaya? Buddy. "you understood you were never good enough for her" l m a o. if u had the value of one of kanaya's little fingers.

just finishd meat gonna digest it for a while uh somehow jade hath been done even dirtier!! like even game over jade!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what the fuck just let her live. +glad terezi's moving forward.

iv been on twittr so i know how decisive the epilogue is nd i feel. full? hm. i have a vibe in my chest i cant describe. id say i wasnt expecting an open ended finisher but this is fucking homestuck of course i was lmao. this is the webcomic that showed the final battle through an unreliable narrator's claymotion artpiece. that started its epilogue with a big flashing sign saying "hey guess what this isnt in stone at all its on ao3 spiritually"

eventually im gonna reread it knowing dirk starts off in the reigns. see the cracks. everything about jake was a giant red flag in hindsight.

like homestuck has never had an objective narrator in its entire run. every single event is through some kind of lens. hussie started us out then caliborn took over then dirk filled the slot once LE's iron grip on the story was demolished. even the first few pages of johns room, had clowns all over the walls that we couldnt see cuz john couldnt. very interesting!! muse callie is probably as close as you could get to a reliable narrator for how passive they are but even then.

scratch constantly withholds information based on his discretion nd therefore his omniscience is moot here. hes serving LE nyway so. same agenda.

we'll never know exactly what happened in homestuck is what im saying here. all we can do is piece together the viewpoints of the various narrators nd the dialogue. the meat/candy divide is a great way to show that. was hoping itd bring the same gray areas as lanque and it Did Fam. if u come to the epilogue looking for concrete answers its not gonna happen bc thats not what homestuck is about.

tldr meat had a lot of food for thought nd cemented homestuck as having a purely subjective narrative which i appreciate as someone whos extremely existential.

#frigidtext

0 notes