officially titled "Meet Cute", an ASMR with Himmel/Nameless Bard, featuring additional voices, wind and rain sounds, and original music has been posted!

"... Wait... is it... it's morning! Did... did we stay up all night talking...?"

It's of ourse sad seeing beetlejuice leave broadway,but all good things must come to an end one day and it was bound to happen, of course we prolly rather it be later than sooner.

I've been mostly working and keeping to myself but keeping myself updated with the tag and the musical and watching everything close and everyone say goodbye makes me incredibly emotional but im excited for the future of the tour and different productions after as well as possible future beetlejuice media. The tour is coming to my local theater and im incredibly excited to see it with my friend/roomate and making sure to save for seats and merch.

Were of course gonna see the fandom dwindle and die down more than it has because understandably there's no new media of beetlejuice out like before the musical and unfortunately because of precious fandom drama which I deeply regret taking part in. Shifting interests is definitely normal though and even happens to me even earlier in the fandom with some other special interests and hyperfixiations I've had, but I still love beetlejuice so much the musical, movie, and cartoon and despite fandom bullshit in the past the musical has made me so happy and reignited my love for one if my favorite films and my favorite t*m burton film.

Beetlejuice and of course beetlelands means so much to me and i love the musical for also helping me discover beetlelands one if my all time favorite ships and definitely influenced my artistically and made me realize i have a type when it comes to shipping(lol) even though lately I haven't really been able to draw or write much of anything due to personal reason including working alot and to put it lightly being in a slump but beetlelands has given so many ideas for aus and stories abd made me want to write again amongst other things because of my love for all the beetlejuice stories abd how long Beetlejuice has been in my life. And even despite fandom bullshit i appreciate all those things and the good memories i do have of the fandom and making beetlejuice art and stories,etc.

With that being said I really do miss making Beetlejuice art and stories including for all my au's since its a personal favorite hyperfixiation of and special interest of mine and I never really got to do a lot of art and writing of stories i wanted to tell and since its a personal favorite I still have many ideas rattling around in my brain that i'd love to share with anyone who's interested. I've been telling myself I wanted to draw and write for beetlejuice for a while now but in general just have been in a bad me tal place and just not happy with anything I make on top of life with work and other stresses. I cant promise im gonna update this blog very soon but im definitely gonna be here updating with with beetlejuice stuff like my writing, art, etc.

Since Beetlejuice is something that makes me personally happy and has been a favorite of mine for a big part of my life. Due so personal reasons as well its been a little hard to make anything beetlejuice related in the past few months as well een though I really wanted to. Im planning to rewrite and redo some aus, i have some new au ideas abd plenty of stories to tell here in my little Beetlejuice corner so if you're interested ill always be here, maybe alot sometimes I am trying to update stuff more here an make stuff for beetlejuice and beetleands, mostly for myself because it makes me happy but I'm happy when people like my beetlejuice art, writing, au, ideas, etc. And I do really appreciate the few people coming to this blog who like what I post I promise im not ignoring you I've just been burned out emotionally in to many ways and not been the best mentally in a while and I've felt terrible talking about things i was gonna draw/write and not doing it for a long time, not even just for beetlejuice but other fandoms.

And if adults in the fandom want to talk or ask about any of my aus and Beetlejuice stories, have requests, or want to talk beetlejuice or beetlelands my ask box is open I love exchanging ideas, art,stories, roleplaying, etc. I also have my main and a few other fandom blogs here on Tumblr and other sites I'll be on as well if anyone is interested.

Im mainly in a small corner here making my own beetlejuice art that makes me happy though and I do have many things id like to update here including my beetlelands songs of the day au, art, and even some fics when i can get the guts to actually write lol but I've been wanting to put my beetlejuice aus is different forms including trying my hand at writing fics again. I welcome anyone who's interested in that here but this is really mostly for my and what makes me happy and im not interested in any petty fandom drama or fighting tho I just like to mame stuff about my blorbos. Since this is also a general fandom blog for spooky Henry Selick and to a very lesser extent T*m Burton stories and I had previously planned to do a extended universe au type deal there with be other spooky fandoms here like corpse bride, nightmare before christmas, coraline, and even wendell and wild. And any other spooky things related that make me happy so if you're interested I'll be here so stay tuned, and goodbye Beetlejuice broadway! You've been a great part of my life and made me love Beetlejuice even more I look forward to the future of the actors of the musical, the musical when it tours especially when I can see it, and the future of Beetlejuice in general, and eve the possible future of the fandom like hopefully new fans discovering Beetlejuice and old fans re-descovering it or even fans of one of the Beetlejuice medias discovering the other.💜🖤💚🕷

I have a lot to say and not enough time to say it. It hurts, but ya’ll know what this is about so if you want my full fandom retrospective opinion thing guys, here.

I’ve been following Vivienne’s art and career since I found her on dA in 2009. I’ve basically grown up with her and have a wide range of opinions up and down her collective work. I must stress that I do not know her as a person and no matter how critical I get in my personal time if I somehow met her in real life or converse with her online again (like, back in the day we went back and forth. She was pretty nice to me), I’d be humble and congratulate her for her success.

Critique does not, EVER equate to attacking people.

But

the reason I don’t call myself a VivziePopVivzmind-fan is the exact same as to why I don’t like the proud use of ‘anti’. Let me try and explain -

The vast majority of Viv fans are just that: fans. Viv’s one of their favorite artists and they’re happy for her and obviously defensive when some mouth breather pops into their fan discussion calling her and all of them trash. Quite a lot of the Hazbin fans I know in my circle of friends are all pretty accepting and agree on the problematic notions and implications of her work.

HOWEVER, there’s a vocal minority in the VivziePop fandom that were and still are toxic. Their specific interest in Viv back in the day was toxic...and now that she’s moved on into a successful career I doubt they’ve gone away, considering the things I’ve heard. These people - they’d flood Viv’s comments sections and stuff with messages like they were talking to her when they weren’t and they’d unironically call her a god in a way that feels like gaslighting, ex: “I’ll NEVER be as good as you Viv! My art is just sooooo unpopular oh god you are incredible no one will ever like you as much as meeeee”. It made me uncomfortable. It made me not want to be around her because these people took Viv’s role in their lives so seriously and their demand for her attention...it struck a nerve.

These same fans have been around long enough to see actual shitlords - the likes of Kiwifarms and tapatalk wikis - come in and actually harass Viv. Viv’s been sent revenge porn by sick freaks who think they’re funny and believe she deserves it. No. In my non-name fan bystander opinion, Viv’s got some shit to work on, but no one deserves raperevenge porn. EVER. It was genuinely bad and yes Viv and her base have every reason to NOT TRUST these communities. Unfortunately, when these incidents happened, these particular fans took it upon themselves to gatekeep the fandom and act like Viv’s unofficial guard against any kind of decenting opinion of her, all without her say so.

((to the critics who will be all “but Viv or Faust said THIS to their fans-”, like I said, Viv’s far from perfect but regardless of how much she prolly wanted people to side with her I’m gonna guess that she didn’t want people sending transphobic death threats to DollCreep. Again, and this is coming from a bystander here, I have a feeling Viv knows about some of the toxicity but doesn’t know how/want to address it - which is a conversation all it’s own.))

This particular breed of VivziePop “fan” holds so much toxicity in her fandom(s). They aren’t the only cause, but they’re there. They feel entitled to her attention and her approval. They creep me out. Having spoken to other much-less critical admitted fans of Viv around me, these fans appear to creep everyone else out and put the rest of the fandom on edge. They’re gatekeepers. They’re creeps. Like the bronies and SU fans of yestertodayyears, they know harassment exists and that people have crossed the line - so they think any means is necessary to prevent that is automatically good. I could pile together all the incidents and folks who’ve had bad runs ins with this aftershock of Viv-obsession, but I do have a life of my own and this post is already stupid long so I’ll just list out the biggest examples and provide receipts when asked.

Critical blogs have gotten RAPE and death threats because they don’t like Viv’s art. HonestZoophobiaCriticisms, a blog I interracted with back in the day, def got one. Now Viv’s opinion of crit-blogs is that they’re “bad takes” but I can assure you she doesn’t want that shit being said on her behalf.

I’ve seen young artists get blacklisted from sites and forums cause they so much as post a redesign. Viv and co get told through the grapevine that someone’s making hatespeech and so preemptively block said person (prolly cause they’re in the middle of WORKING and can’t deal right now) only to find out after the fact that no, it was just a kid drawing their version of her characters. There’s serious miscommunication issues within the fandom about who’s ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and once you get the actual staff involved in this game of telephone you’re begging for trouble. The problem acknowledged, however, it’s souly from the “Viv never did anything wrong camp”. No word is said about how ugly the fandom is under the surface it’s all one type of person’s fault and not complicated’. Blah

I’ve only ever had ONE obsessive ‘fan’ who’d stalk me, mock me, and then redraw my art just to get attention from me. That shit fucked with my head. As a follower hundreds of miles away from Viv who’s agreed/disagreed with her through the years - I absolutely believe her when she says she hates ‘creeps’ and that she doesn’t want anyone in her fandom spreading hate on her behalf. It’s the one thing about her I’m POSITIVELY sure of. Whether she believes that said underlying harassment exists and/or is even a problem within her fandoms is anyone’s guess. That’s not what I’m here for. I’m here to write stupid blog entries like this, talk about fandoms and media and how they and the real world affect one another, and rb fan art I like. I’m cautiously optimistic fan with a side of salt.

Mixed opinions and critique within a fandom CAN and SHOULD exist. Hazbin Hotel has been greenlit by a studio! It has a product line of merchandise you buy. Helluva Boss is getting eight more episodes this coming year (yeeee:3yeeee). Two of Viv’s properties are now products. Nothing is immune from critique. And in critique you will find a lot of people who are not ‘nice’. Critique or analysis doesn’t have to be nice. There will be, in Viv’s words’ ‘bad takes’ on her writing. Maybe they will be actual CinemaSins-styled bad takes or maybe Viv is just mad that people don’t love and feel inspired by her characters the way she wants them to - it’s a fact she’s going to have to get used to.

((TBH, I’m pretty sure she’s already realized that criticism of all types need to exist. It’s just that, again, her and the SpindleHorse staff are kind of overwhelmed by all matter of takes and opinions coming their way they kinda can’t deal weeding out the fair ones from the assholes, so she lumps them all together.))

Shitposters, ironic fans, unironic fans, critical fans, just critics of Hazbin and Helluva CAN and WILL exist. They should exist and not feel threatened by the megafandom. There are people out there who are one step further and rightfully bothered by Hazbin/Helluva’s use of incorrect symbols, portrayal of certain topics, and the response by creators. These people have strong opinions and are actually disgusted by Viv. They deserve to exist too and should not be vilified because, like me, they’re commentary doesn’t consist of anything personal towards the people at Spindlehorse or the fans of her works. They can rant, they can be professional, they can be petty and they can be fair. But they will exist. You have to deal with it.

I am an ADD/OCD ridden autistic woman with serious anxiety issues who has no one to talk to half the time and so only HAS my fandom to communicate with. But that’s just it - it’s a fandom. A community. You have to learn to not think souly of yourself and of others in a community. A fandom doesn’t exist just for you or any one person. You have the right to be angry and defend or be offended. And it’s in the spirit of that that I ask, prrraaaaaay even, that I please

NOT BE CALLED AN “ANTI-ANTI” for not liking the moniker?!

I DON’T TO BE AN “ANTI”. Not ironically, not unironically. ‘Anti’ should be for politics and shit like pedophiles, necrophiles, nazis, serial killer stans, Trump, racists, antisemites, terfs, animal abusers, rapists, and antivaxxers. Anti should only come into critical media analysis when these ethical issues follow suit IN TO fandom discussion. ((EX: Anime and MLP proudly waving their cp and non-con into the public eye; Hazbin appropriating cultural symbols which are not satanic; Basically anything that concerns John K or Butch Hartman.))

If your DNI list unironically consists of the entirety of one fandom:  CONGLATURATIONS! You have done the exact same thing these particular creepy Viv fans have done: monopolize the conversation. And yes, people I’m referring to, IT’S STILL A PROBLEM EVEN IF YOU’RE FIGHTING RACISM/SEXISM/HOMOTRANSPHOBIA.

There are hundreds of Vivziefans who ARE more critical, accepting of faults, interested in discussion and especially rewrite and redesign stuff who would LOVE to engage with you and give you a follow. There’s hundreds of people who no doubt agree with you!

But the thing I’ve seen these very proud AntiHazbinVivzieHelluvaWhatever blogs do is lash out at fans for continuing to like Viv and consume Viv’s art in a healthy way. What the actual fuck is your problem?

I get it. Say a crazy Hazbin fan gets on your case for even SUGGESTING Viv could be homophobic ((”SHE’SBIANDWORKSWITHGAYPPLblahablahblah”)). They get in your face, make some callouts, try to rile up support against you, leave disgusting harassment throughout your social media? Absolutely ban worthy. After that it’s perfectly understandable why you don’t want to engage with anything HHHBZPVivzierelated because you’re so fucking tired of being labeled an abuser or “just jealous” for having an opinion on a show you don’t like. I’m with you!

But,

A fan agrees that something in the canon is bad or that Viv did something they don’t like?

A fan likes your silly shitpost meme?

A fan asks if they can like Hazbin and follow you at the same time? 

A fan does fan art of something you don’t like?

If your response to any of these ^^^ things is to get LOUD and accusatory, Vivsplain them about how they’re an absolutely awful person to ever question YOUR opinion, or just block them without a second thought? You’re a petty, vendictive shit and you also need to learn to let things go. I’m sorry but you do. As I already said, Viv’s work is a brand at this point, not just the work of a singular person. As such, there are gonna be mixed opinions and you can’t judge every single one of these people by what they like. You’re a shitty critic with a shitty attitude and yes that will demean the value of what you’re saying. This is bad because, if you’re trying to point out how Angel Dust’s abuse IS handled terribly; gay rep in Viv’s work is weak and terrible; the show appropriates closed practices; the fandom makes excuses for predatory artists and creepy behavior and individuals who have sketchy pasts - I’M WITH YOU. WE NEED TO BE TALKING ABOUT THIS SHIT. JUST BECAUSE THESE ARE ADULT CARTOONS SET IN HELL MEANS THERE SHOULD BE ANYTHING CLOSE TO 2013 PONY-TUMBLR. <<<---- this shit is as important to me as it is to you and I really don’t like being called an abuser or apologist for saying “hey maybe blowing up at ppl for the shows they like ISN’T the way to go about this”. 

But I have, just like the good old days of 2015 Zoophobia of yore, been blocked because I admit to being tired of ‘Anti’ being equated to ‘critical’. Same with hater.

Critical DOES NOT = Anti+Hater. I’m fucking tired of people saying it does and I’m tired of people taking up the term as some weird form of fandom reappropriation. It’s stupid.

Tl;dr: Once upon a time, I was in a budding fandom for something I liked made by an indie artist I watched on dA. I wanted to be a bigger fan than I was already, but was told by toxic people within said fandom that I couldn’t be part of it for reasons they’d made up in their head about my ‘motives’ against Viv. My admiration for Viv or what I liked about Zoophobia didn’t matter because I thought the story was really rushed and people weren’t being truthful with how they really felt about it - ergo, I HAD TO GO. 

Flash forward 8 years later- My opinion of Viv’s body of work has changed but I still find myself in love with her style and some of her characters. I want to be on a forum or service that gives a healthy look at the problems there are with this series and fandom...and I’m met repeatedly by petty bs where people are again at each other’s throats. And yes, I do think it’s causing more harm than good especially when you insist there’s a “x person shouldn’t be trusted” mentality when fighting actual fucking racist, xenophobic, predatory bullshit.

Monster AU fic!

I decided to write an origin fic for how 2D became a zombie. Also, I forgot to mention the date of the zombie apocalypse is essentially a year before D-Day for the Monster AU, so this could possibly count as a D-Day fic? Nevertheless, Enjoy!

Story’s under the cut!

August 15, 1996.

Stuart sighed, his breathing now in time with the popcorn machine behind him. What a night, to be behind the concession stand of the old movie theatre. Not to say it didn’t get decent customer traffic, a few movies were actually playing right now. Not that he was one who wanted to see them, they were mostly either kiddie flicks or ones he already saw.

Stuart darted his eyes to the left, then to the right. It was dead silent, no one there, save for the ticket collectors out front.

In light of this, Stu slipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette and a blue lighter. Hiding his hands under the table so his boss or coworkers wouldn’t see, he lit his cig and popped it in his mouth as deep as he could so it’d be harder to see.

Suddenly, there was a collective scream from one of the theatres that made Stuart jolt up a bit. Leaning over, he checked what movie was playing there. Dawn of the Dead, one of the ‘Summer Replays’ the theatre often did. He leaned back in his chair and smiled. He’s prolly seen that movie at least 10 times, he was glad other people were enjoying it too.

“Hey Stu!” one of the ticket collectors, Dave, up front shouted. “You better not be smoking up there!”

Quickly, Stuart hid his cigarette under the desk as his friend turned around. “Who, me? Never! Not at all!”

Dave gave Stu the evil eye, then went back to his work. Stu gave a silent sigh of relief and popped the cigarette back in his mouth, taking a long drag as he did.

A few minutes more passed, then there was a loud knocking on the front door.

“It’s a pull-to-open door, sir!” Stu’s other coworker, Tom, yelled. But the person obviously didn’t listen. The knocking grew louder, more people seemed to be at the door. A cracking sound was then heard.

“Hey Stu, did you see someone lock the doors?” Tom asked. Stuart shrugged his shoulders.

“Not that I’ve seen!” he called back. “Try opening it!”

Tom collector walked up to the door and reached for the handle. Suddenly, the glass window on the door broke, with a puke colored hand reaching out. Stu and his coworkers screamed in horror. Dave and Tom ran to Stu and ducked behind the concessions.

“You’ve seen your fair share of zombie movies Stu, what do we do?” Dave cried.

Stuart tried to make the words, but they never came. He was so mortified, he almost swallowed his cigarette. Instead, it just fell out of his mouth and onto the floor.

Eyes darting, he tried to find a way to escape. Eventually, his eyes landed on the ceiling. Perfect.

With cat-like agility, Stuart jumped up on the concession counter. Standing on his tip-toes, he punched through the ceiling panels and pulled himself up, his friends yelling and shouting for him. They weren’t yelling any longer soon enough though.

Stuart panicked, watching his coworkers below being taken apart by the zombie hoard. He was lucky he wasn’t one of them.

Looking at the pathways in front of him, he knew he must plan his next moves carefully. One wrong misstep and he’d be dead.

Making sure to distribute his weight, Stuart slowly set one hand on a panel and his left leg on another. Slowly, he shuffled across the ceiling, unable to be detected. He almost cried of happiness. He may just be able to get home and prepare himself for another onslaught, if/when it would ever come.

As he set his right arm down on another panel, the panel fell off into the hoard. Stu winced, sharply pulling back his arm and scooting away from the panel. Unfortunately, he put too much weight on his other arm, and he fell through the ceiling, right into the middle of the hoard.

Stuart cried for help as the zombies ate him, despite knowing it would probably do close to nothing. As he closed his eyes for the final time, he gave a silent goodbye to everyone he knew. Then finally, darkness.

_______________________________________________________________________

Stu fluttered his eyes open. What happened to him? Looking around him, wherever he was was in ruins. Nothing but charred stone and zombie bits, with a red-brown sky above him.

Wait! Zombie bits?!

Stuart did his best but struggled to get up. His eyes getting back in focus, he checked his body. He too, was now a zombie. His arms were mostly nothing but bone, save for his hands and parts of his arms. His ribs were quite literally visible, his pants were torn up, showing his leg bones, there was a huge chunk of flesh drooping from his left cheek, and feeling the sides of his head, his left ear was also gone. All that seemed to be left of him was now a bleeding mess.

But surprisingly, despite the missing parts, he didn’t feel like a zombie. His brain still felt like it was there, and he didn’t feel as though he wanted other brains for himself. Maybe his brain still being there allowed him to freely think? Or maybe it was all the zombie movies he had seen back when he was human. Or maybe zombies were a lot more free-thinking than the movies made them out to be? No, Stuart had seen what the zombies did at the theatre where he died.

Reaching over to find his old work vest, now with the name tag torn off, he put it on in an effort to cover his ribs. He also mussied his hair up on his left side to cover up his missing ear. Even if there were hardly any humanoid survivors left, he still wanted to look presentable to, well, someone.

Managing to actually stand now, Stu wandered through the rubble, hoping to find a hint of where he was. Looking behind a huge block of stone, he found a small pile of ashes that smelled faintly of... cigarette smoke?

Horrified, Stuart quickly connected the dots. He was currently at the movie theatre, where he was eaten by the zombies! As he was being eaten, the still-lit cigarette must’ve caught the whole theatre on fire, burning and killing all the zombies, except for him for some reason, leaving nothing but the now-actually-dead zombies, the burnt remains of the theatre, and Stuart.

Stuart yelled in pain, now realizing what this really meant. Now, Tom, Dave, his family, everyone he knew and loved, was gone. He could feel the tears rising in his eyes. Or, more like, eye. Stuart soon realized his left eye was also gouged out, resulting in another contribution to why he was bleeding so much.

Extremely saddened, Stuart lifted his head up, and walked out of what once was the theatre, off to roam the world, hoping to find something to do or someone to talk to.

We woke up in a bonafide actual bedroom in an actual house, after an actual good night’s rest. And it.

Was.

Lovely.

This is definitely the way to do camp. ;-)

Also, I shaved for the first time in almost a week. Got an unfortunately good look at probably the most “beard” I’ve had ever. Sad to say, looks like there’s a bunch of white in there. :-(

Boooooooooo.

We rolled back into Moro Campground (now open again) around 10:30AM by which time Linzy’d already dropped her boyfriend off at John Wayne Airport and gone back to bed.

Once she was sufficiently awake, we sat down for some Uno: myself, Kimmer, Linzy, and Linzy’s cousin.

Now I’ve never played Uno even as I’ve known about it for decades. Friends. Camp. And so on.

Apparently it’s been popular for years.

And what I like best about it, of course, are what I identified as SCREW YOU cards... and THE NUCLEAR OPTION.

“Screw You” cards are any cards that cause you to have to take more cards into your hand. “The Nuclear Option” is the card you play that causes everyone to put their cards into a pile that gets shuffled and then re-dealt evenly. Essentially a miracle card when you’re massively losing. But it blows when you’re about to win.

So yeah.

We had fun.

Afterward, Linzy ‘n Kimmer had to step out so Linzy’s cousin ‘n I committed ourselves to learning how to play Pirate Fluxx, a pirate-y card game with goals and rules that can change with each player’s turn. The game quickly becomes chaos once you’re up to speed and, it turns out, we’re just the kind of people who groove on chaos.

Who knew?

Before Linzy had to leave for the airport to catch her flight home, Kimmer ‘n I both nabbed farewell walks with her until it was time for her to hop into her rented Cooper and drive off.

After that, Kimmer had  some work to tend to so I tagged along with her cousin, nephew, and their dog “Cookie” for lunch at the Shake Shack down the road. We sat along the rail high on a cliff above the beach looking out toward Catalina Island in the distance. :-)

By the time we're back to camp, Kimmer's finishing her last meeting. Once she's done, we have some travel logistics and planning to attend to. For one thing, until and unless we carry our own mobile hot spot, we have to rely on and plan around the WiFi of strangers.

Now, we’re all good while we’re here at camp with its own strong WiFi network. But once we leave on Saturday... what then?

Okay so Saturday night through Sunday morning we’re good at Kimmer’s cousin’s place with its own strong WiFi network. Sunday’s Easter so we’re not gonna need one.

But what about Monday morning?

The answer, of course, depends on where we end up Sunday night.

Now Sunday’s a bit of planning. We start in Irvine and we wanna visit Kimmer’s aunt in San Jacinto and we need to have the car back to the rental place in Medford, Oregon, by 1PM Monday. Okay so Tuesday because when we said “Monday” that first time we were both, like, yeah. That’s not gonna happen.

So Medford, Oregon, by 1PM Tuesday.

We begin our planning, then, with a bit of reverse planning. As in, back when we were coming down here in the first place and we were in Medford, Linzy suggested San Jose as a halfway stop for the night. Which still seems like a good idea going back up to Medford.

So Sunday night we wanna be in San Jose between 8 and 10. The drive from San Jacinto, courtesy Google Maps, will take 6-7 hours. That makes us leaving San Jacinto between 1 and 130. Ish.

To have an hour or two with Kimmer’s aunt and uncle has us leaving Irvine about 930AM.

Et voila!

That’s Sunday.

As for Monday night, we settle on Yreka, also a 6-7 hour drive starting from San Jose... which leaves us an hour and a half shy of Medford. All we’ve gotta do is leave Yreka between 10 and 11 in the morning and we’re good.

Not a bad plan, I must say.

We also talked at length with Kimmer’s cousin about our experience with the hotel in Sacramento and how to avoid hideous choices like that in the future.

Prolly should’ve had that talk preemptively before we ever left Seattle

:-|

And so, having settled on a plan, armed with good advice, Kimmer ‘n I head over to Trader Joe’s and then back again for some lovely sunset beach walking together. Then dinner around the campfire with family... followed by two rounds of Uno the first of which I won, the second of which Kimmer won but then the rest of us decided to continue playing to determine “First Loser”.

You see Linzy’s cousin figured for sure he’d beat his dad who was holding the most cards ever. It’s a condition we’ve come to identify as “Super Uno” where the winner’s the first person to hold a hundred cards instead of, you know, none.

That’s just something we say to make someone who’s actively collecting cards feel better, by the way.

You really can only win with no cards in your hand.

But. As I said before, Linzy’s cousin figured for sure he’d beat his dad so all he had to do was beat me.

Of course of course of course what happened is that his dad smoked both of us. Thus attaining the crown and the title, “First Loser”.

It was very definitely a teachable moment for the young lad who thought he knew for certain what was gonna happen. You see at some point (much to his chagrin) I drew a Nuclear Option card, played it, and basically leveled the playing field. At which point his dad gained the upper hand with a new and much smaller set of cards until he called “Uno” and then won.

That wasn’t the “teachable” thing, though.

The teachable thing was that if we hadn’t continued to play for “First Loser”, it was very obvious who was the big loser: the guy on his way to Super Uno. By comparison, the rest of us looked pretty good and woulda walked away whoohoo... not as bad as that guy.

But instead of that... we managed our fortunes in such a way as to look worse than the guy who was on his way to a hundred cards.

Dang it.

sad bc no pictures today!!!! :( i didn't managed to snap any because of time constraints :(((((((((( anyway guess who finally get to meet her bb today? 😂 das right, me!!!!!! kind of a bummer bc i didn't expect that i'll actually get a shift on tuesday? i can't rmbr giving any shift for tuesday either but oh well i don't have a choice. but the feel to not go to work today was super strong though. if can, i wanted to skip work just to be able to spend more time with han but of course, i shouldn't be irresponsible just because i want to spend time with the love of my life. besides, it was already far too late to find a replacement + get an mc + i didn't wanna leave any more bad impression since their current impression of me is a little too close to borderline termination (ok it's just an exaggeration but ya idw to be a candidate for termination!!!!) ok so like i met han rly late, we only had about two hours to spend with each other before i start my shift and i was a tad bit grumpy because han sorta promised me meet me earlier today but i guess he was really tired or something. to the point that he even FORGOT that we're meeting early???? rly damn taik i want to punch him. i thought we can spend a little more time together today since we're always meeting during late afternoons but ughHh it was a botched. but i guess i should take 10% of the blame as well since i was about 15-20 mins late. honestly i was deciding what to wear and i was trying to dig out the company clothes from my narnia of a wardrobe (i own quite a fair bit of stuff from the company most of which i bought ages ago before i even started working for them but unfortunately, past seasons clothing pieces are not allowed even though they're bought from the company itself. i need more of their updated season clothing ughHhh). idk man i think i'm damn clingy or like what i heard han said, manja?? idk if there's a diff ah between those two words but?????? ok anyway then we went to have early dinner and i asked him what he wanted to eat and then he said "prata or smth" but when he came back to the table he was only carrying one plate and i got even grumpier bc i was like "then u not eating????" and then he's like "eating eating u makan abeh suap i pon we share" then i'm like??????? wtf i'm not eating alone???????? then he's like nO noooo i eat then i was like, is it u ate alr?????? then he just kept smiling that sheepish smile (the kinda smile that makes u wanna flick him bc u alr know the answer to ur own question) but ya apparently he alr ate chicken at home???? and i was like?????? and then we had a little mini argument bc he was being so passive aggressive about this person i added into ml squad and whom i followed on ig all lmaO so i decided like ok u know what i'm just gonna kick him outta the squad, unfriend and unfollow him ok and then he went all "noOoo i'm ok with it" but i still did it anyway bc idk i just can't stand his passive aggressiveness and then i asked him to honestly tell me???? if it bothers him and then he got all mad at me bc i kept asking and he alr said no but idk man deep down i still feel like a part of him wasn't feeling ok with it bc he raised the topic + even "joked" about how he's gonna do the same wtf idiot i want to puncH him but ok so i just decided to follow that feel i had and went ahead with what i've decided 😂 and then he ended up only taking a bite out of the plate of rice and i ate the rest of it. he complained that it was too spicy so he didn't want anymore (but lol i know it was just an excuse bc he's prolly too full) *rolls eyes* ok n then dayah told me that her class ended early so she was already at paya lebar but it was still a little early (we had about an hour or so to kill) so i asked her to come over to tamp instead and yes we were working the same shift today!!! i couldn't rly read han's expressions so idk if he actually mind or not the fact that i've just invited dayah over without asking him if it was ok but i guess he was ok w it??? bc he didn't seem to be showing any form of displeased during the whole journey to onekm. but u know what's the best thing of today? DAMN han actually waited for like me to end work today omg *cries tears of joy on the inside* and he hung around the store for a bit as well!!!! so i literally get to spend the whole day with him omg except i had to remain professional most of the time but ahHhhhh i love it!! just his presence alone makes my heart skip hehe (ꈍᴗꈍ)ε｀*) and then he tried on a couple pieces of clothing and fuckinG hell he i just can't deal w how good he looks in a plaid flannel man like doOoOdddd he looks foKin good so boyfriend look sia!!!!!!!! ok and then i was like i'm gonna buy this for u mi bb do u want it!!!! n he was like naaWww don't waste money i don't rly need it now but i was like????? fOK idc imma get it for u beb and he's like nooooo but he finally relented and was like ok fine fine hehe ok then fast forward ah to ending work time we had to tidy up everything then i asked him to help me put in the tags haahhaah and he rly did aiyo this boyo so qt i should pay him in kisses (alr did ;) heheeh) ok then he had to wait outside for me cus we officially close at 10 so he waited an hour for me omg fk i think his whole rs w me just consist of him mostly waiting for me sia hais but ok then U KNOW WHAT OR NOT WAH RLY DAMN SAD someone stole his recently bought clothing from the store wah damn dog istg if i catch that person i will ask him or her if she's rly that fokin poor to steal cb go work la!!!!!!! ok but then he said he dunno if he misplaced it then someone took it or smth but i was like???? even if u misplaced it that someone could have returned it to the lost and found area OR SMTH BUT NO THAT PERSON TOOK IT HOME WAH FK I WAS DAMN PANAS want to hurl abuse then i kinda took it out on the security guard lmaO sorry but idk la in the heat of the moment u know but money v precious now cannot anyhow throw. then after that we were walking to the bus stop n then han was like eh u suddenly so calm only and i was like ya i realized that nothing can be done even if i'm angry lol then he's like ya see this is why guys can handle things rationally unlike girls bc y'all let ur emotions take control of u (smth liddat ah idk) then i'm like????? ugh can't fight back bc it's true at least for me la. oh and the HAN PAID FOR THE TOPS ON HIS OWN ALSO OK like?? ok la one of it he wanted to buy for himself but the other one i meant to buy it for him omg like u know first pay gift (even tho its still about 6 more days till my first pay hahaha but since we're alr there then like advanced ah hehe) AND YA IDK LA JUST V ANGRY OK JUST NOW ok then we took the bus back and i asked him if i should get smth to eat then he's like "are u hungry?" and i was like nah just kinda wanna drink smth hahaahah and he was like lol?? bc i was alr holding onto a bottle of milk tea i bought before work. so we didn't get anything to eat or drink and then he sent me home!!!!!! oh and i also just started taking some fiber supplements today to help me with pooping regularly!!!!!! fuckin $70 for one box of 15 days fuck expensive but apparently to see any changes and rly have ur toxins in ur body rinse outta its intestines u gotta be on it for like 2-3 months at least wtf idk how long i must work to to pay for this expensive shit. and ya ofc i know i can just eat veggies but sorry fam ur girl isn't a fan of like 95% of veggies in the world ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ok gonna end this post abruptly bc im tired and this getting way tooooo long + it's alr 4:15am now hahahaahahha thank you bb!!!!! for waiting for me all the time and esp today bc u had to endure 4 hours of waiting for me to end work :') OH AND DID U KNOW!!! when he sent me home i was like sorry u had to wait for so long for me to end work :(((( then he's like "even if you don't have work i'll still wait for u" smth along that line la but hehe so cheesy so sweet this boy!!!! ok time to sleep goodnight!!!!!!! i love you ♥♥♥