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#novelty knife
sickxknives · 1 year
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gergie · 22 days
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HTF 1986 Vintage ARTHUR COURT Aluminum DUCK Carving Knife Fork Set w/Stand from LottaOcean on ebay
Listed at usd 175
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knifeforsale · 2 years
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“DISHONEST FISHERMAN” HIDDEN BLADE | LISTING
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werepires · 6 months
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the stands stockings jumper low key irks me so much I'm considering taking the concept and making a version myself that doesn't include the racist porn
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ofpd · 11 months
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me rn 🤝 30yos who are insecure about "visibly aging"
pls card me pls card me come onnn
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jovalencia · 11 months
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went on a walk through the woods to see if it would help my stomach (it has a little bit) and I found a fucking switchblade
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waugh-bao · 2 years
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Charlie: “it’s a different life, but I think I’ll be happy with this alpine band. Maybe they’ll have a little drum I can pick up and… *hears a yodel that abruptly turns into a rough, raspy laugh and cough* no, no it can’t be.” Keith comes walking up the hill “Hi Charlie! I found you! Like my lederhosen? Ready to go back on tour? Mick’s already got 10 dates lined up. Hey, think you could piggyback me down this hill? I’m kinda tired.”
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*10 minutes later*
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horsegirlzero · 2 years
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like. kaname and yuki's relationship reminds me of that one aizen quote that goes: "admiration is the emotion furthest from understanding"
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eosphorusss · 2 years
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how can you include woody allen in your “to kill” list but not actual political leaders that are causing death and destruction every day that passes..,
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kayespencer · 12 days
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A to Z Challenge 2024 - M is for Mack the Knife #noveltysongs #earwormsongs #atozchallenge
My April 2024 A-to-Z blogging challenge theme is novelty songs and earworms. I’m defining these types of songs as gimmicky, humorous, or parodies of a popular song, and the tune or snippets of the lyrics embed themselves in our brains despite every effort to rid ourselves of the annoying things. Here we go with today’s involuntary musical imagery. M is for MACK THE KNIFE Mack the Knife is also…
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sickxknives · 1 year
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knives in my collection #11
does this count as a knife? idc, it's cool!
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something i like about omori is that Headspace is riddled with secrets and Something’s design is intensely thoughtful in that way that feels instantly retroactively obvious, AND (afaik??) omori’s knife has no connection to that night whatsoever. sunny just thinks knives are cool. knife boy. as a grown-up knife kid this is the rep i deserve
(edit: it feels important to clarify that i did not grow out of being a knife boy, i just grew up. now i am a knife Man)
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knifeforsale · 2 years
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WICKED DRAGON DAGGER | LISTING
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fic-over-cannon · 3 months
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Jason Todd that’s so used to feeling second best that he can’t quite believe it when someone chooses him. Sheila never wanted him, gave him up the first chance she got. Catherine never managed to pick him over the drugs (and he knows now that that’s not how addiction works but he was a child watching the only person who loved him love what was killing her more). Bruce picked him up as an afterthought, another poor little orphan boy to always fail at filling the shoes of the first. He’s barely cold in his grave when there’s another, better version already standing next Bruce. The Titans couldn’t see past the legacy Dick left behind, constantly compared Jason to him as the less adequate model; barely sufficient, much less welcomed. Jason wants so badly to be chosen first but time and experience has only ever taught him otherwise.
Jason falls in love with you, but he can never fully believe that the love is returned fully. He’s so eager to be your only choice that he’s terrified of when you’ll eventually pick someone else over him. He wants to be greedy, drink up the experience and novelty until he’s sick on it, but he can’t. Can’t help that creeping sense that your love and attention is in finite supply, unseen deadline looming closer. He’s always got one foot out the door, unable to fully commit to a relationship when he’s bracing for the blow of you leaving. Sure that one day you’ll finally see all the flaws that make him not enough, the flaws that everyone else in his life have already discovered. Convinces himself that there’s a middle ground, one where he gets to love you but at a distance that means the leaving won’t hurt so much. But that means always holding the two of you on edge, the pressure and expectation of your choice lingering and twisting until the two of you are no longer what you were in the beginning. To know when he gets too close, he has to constantly be re-evaluating your relationship. Every moment spent together waiting for you to flinch, to waver in your commitment to him, and ready to act when he sees it. Believes that if he’s the one holding the knife, it won’t cut as deep.
He can’t see that everyday you wake up and choose him, that your love has always been a choice you are willing to make for him. Everyday you have to bear the weight of his scrutiny and it is exhausting. You know he’ll never fully trust you because he can’t believe you won’t leave first. That he’ll never fully open up to you, because he doesn’t want to hand you weapons to hurt him with, to make you reconsider choosing him. You know that if you push him on this, he’ll only interpret it as the first stages of you leaving. You’d thought that with time and proof he’d start to believe. To choose you and your love as much as you’ve chosen him.
Now, now you are trapped in a cage of your own collaborative making. If you leave now, you’ll only have proven his greatest insecurity all along. If you stay, this love will continue to fester like a wound. There is no outcome where you both come out unscathed.
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nolita-fairytale · 10 months
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burn your life down | chef luca x fem!reader | chapter three
summary: while you and luca seek inspiration outside of the kitchen, you finally share a piece of yourself with him.
warnings: fluff, eventual smut, eventual angst not use of y/n, conversations about divorce, second person pov, swearing, danish inaccuracies, very little connection to the world of the bear.
word count: 2.2k
a/n: thank you again for all the shares, reblogs, comments! let me know if you'd like to be added or removed from the taglist!
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part two | masterlist | part four
It’s been a month or so since Luca’s tasting menu for one, and he’s been nothing but a good thing in your life: a friend, a collaborator, a regular diner who gives fantastic feedback. You’ve become fast friends, and after what he did for you, how could you not? You find yourself spending days off with him at a more frequent pace as of late: enjoying cups of coffee, perusing bookstores, following Luca on bicycle as he shows you the city’s lesser known, yet spectacular bakeries. He gives you a heads up when he can’t make it into the restaurant, but most Saturdays, he continues to make his regular Saturday 7 pm date week after week. 
Some days you make him something off-menu – something you’re working on, something you’re recipe testing, a dish you’ve bounced ideas around with him over – and other days he’s eager to try whatever new thing you’ve just added to your menu, insisting for you not to go through the trouble of whipping up anything else. It’s a special relationship – something only food-people can understand – and you’re glad that Luca entered your life. 
“Hey, your boyfriend’s here,” Jesper says, interrupting your dinner prep as he grabs your attention. 
“My what?” you ask him, with no clue in the world what he’s talking about. 
“Luca,” he answers plainly, as you and Mathilde both exchange a look. 
“Shut up, Jesper,” you both snap in unison, shooting a glare his way. 
You exchange another look with Mathilde, almost as if to say: you good? She nods towards the front of house as if to say: yes, I’ve got this covered. 
“Yeah, give me a second and I’ll be right out,” you finally direct towards Jesper, as you put down your knife. You reach a stopping point, wiping your hands on your apron, as you leave behind the Mikkelson twins bickering about what Jesper’s previous comment. 
Something about ‘you baby her’ from Jesper and a ‘you’re going to scare her away and this is a good thing, you idiot’ from Mathilde in return. At least that’s what you’re able to make out from your basic Danish language skills (you’re working on it, you swear, and right now you know enough to get by in the kitchen and that’s enough)!
You spot Luca with a package tucked underneath his arm as he leans up against the front door, waiting for you. 
“Hi,” you greet him, choosing to ignore the fact that your heart skips a beat as soon as you see him. 
“Hey. I was on my way to the post office around the corner. Thought I’d stop in and say hello,” he replies with that ever-charming crooked smile of his. 
“No, yeah, I-. I’m glad you did,” you return, unable to hide the smile that spreads across your lips. 
You don’t want to make a big deal out of it, especially if this is somehow something you’ve made up entirely in your head, but it seems as if Luca’s found different ways – different excuses – to stop in more and more frequently as of late. 
“What’s in the box?” you ask him, curiously, gesturing to the package he holds underneath his arm. 
“Remember that American I was telling you about? The one who came to stage?” he asks, looking down for a moment. 
“Yeah.”
“His restaurant opening is this week. Wanted to send this off. As a gift.”
“That’s kind of you.”
He blushes, just for a moment. 
“Think we’ve lost touch with the art of a handwritten note. A novelty these days,” he says, with a quick raise of both eyebrows. 
“Absolutely. I mean… it worked on me,” you chuckle, immediately regretting what’s come out of your mouth. 
You’re not sure why you said it and what exactly it is that worked on you you’re referring to, but it’s too late to take it back. 
“Yeah, I’ve got him to thank, really,” he chuckles, almost shyly. Taking a bolder approach as he continues with, “For reminding me to walk the walk. For bringing me to you.”
You pause, your heart catching in your throat. In the event of fight, flight, and freeze, it really feels like you’re choosing ‘freeze’ whenever Luca’s been around.
“I bet you’re a really great teacher,” are the words that fall out of your mouth, immediately regretting them for how silly your response sounds. 
“So was he,” he parries back. 
“Sure,” you nod, still reeling from whatever the hell came out of your mouth a moment ago. 
Your disconcerting slip-of-the-tongue seems to leave an uncomfortable silence between the two of you, tip-toeing around each other, unsure of who should make the next move. 
“Anyways,” Luca clears his throat, collecting himself. “I ehm, gotta get going. Gotta get back to the restaurant here in a few. It was good seeing you today.”
“You too,” is all you reply, frozen and stuck in your own head. 
What the hell is wrong with you? You think to yourself as you watch him go. 
“Luca, wait,” you say, pushing through the front door to your restaurant as you chase after him. 
He turns back towards you, a kind of ‘did I leave something behind?’ look on his face. 
“I can’t stop thinking…” you trail off, taking a breath before you continue your sentence, leaving Luca unsure of what you’ll say next. 
“...about that dish you’re stuck on. And about what you said.. about finding inspiration. Being open to… you know, what’s out there.”
“Yeah?” he asks, smiling at the thought of you thinking of him. 
“Yeah I… I think I have an idea,” you declare boldly. 
And it may be a baby step, but it’s a baby step towards him, towards who knows what, towards whatever’s ahead of you. 
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You pitch the idea to Luca –  to explore different mediums of art as a way of seeking out inspiration (and maybe it’s just another excuse to see him too) – and after a few weeks of busy schedules, covering at the restaurant for coworkers-on-holiday, and lining up days off, you and Luca finally make it happen. It’s been over a year now, since the restaurant opened – and almost two since you came to Copenhagen in pursuit of a dream.
“Wait a second. So you haven’t read Rene Redzepi’s A Work In Progress?” Luca asks incredulously looking for confirmation of the obscene tidbit of information you’ve just revealed to him. 
“No,” you admit, guiltily stealing a glance his way. 
“My god, it’s fascinating! I’ll have to lend you my copy,” he charges forward, solving the problem at hand without question. 
“I’d like that,” you smile, almost to yourself as you think about how much you like being around Luca. “And I’d love to hear about your time at noma – what working under him was like.”
“Uh… that’s maybe a different story for a different time,” he deflects with a chuckle, shooting you a look. “Perhaps after a few pints.”
“Heard,” you nod in understanding, turning to him as the two of you find a good place to post up in the park. You and Luca set your lawn chairs down in Kongens Have, or rather The King’s Garden, right behind a row of other lawn chairs set up that face the tent-covered stage. 
“It’s good to see you,” you finally say, really taking him in. 
“It’s good to see you too. Sorry it’s just working out now,” Luca apologizes emphatically. 
“No, it’s okay! We uh… we’re both busy. We both run restaurants. I mean-, I’m surprised we figured it out in time for the show,” you reply, easily letting him off the hook. 
“This is pretty cool,” he says, taking in your surroundings. “First time here?”
“Yeah I-, I didn’t make it when I first moved here… and then this time last year I had just opened the restaurant so… yeah first time. You?”
“Yeah, first time,” he echoes with a reassuring nod. 
“Really? I just thought-, well, I thought Copenhagen Jazz Fest was like a huge deal here,” you inquire. 
He shrugs, responding with, “I reckon you’re a big jazz fan then, eh?”
“Yeah,” you say.
“Have you always been into it or-?” he questions curiously. 
“Uh, no. I… my ex,” you hesitate, figuring you should tell Luca sooner rather than later. “... my ex-husband is a music historian so… I got really into it when we first started seeing each other. 
He balks, only for a moment, hoping you don’t notice the strong reaction that briefly flashes across his face. 
“You were married?” he asks, barely able to hide the surprise in his voice.
“Yeah,” you admit, nervously. 
He waits a beat. 
“Do you… want to talk about it?” he asks carefully, with an honesty and genuine curiosity in his voice. 
“I-I don’t mind. As long as you don’t-,” you stammer, only a little taken aback by the grace he’s shown you. 
“Please,” he encourages, listening carefully. “I like learning about you.”
You freeze for a moment, searching for where to begin, and more than anything, in awe of Luca. 
“We met right after I moved back home to Boston – right after I finished school,” you begin, watching him carefully for any kind of reaction. 
“And it was good. For a long time. But after a few years of being together, his mom got sick and uh… we both decided that we wanted to move to London so that he could help his sisters take care of her. It was just easier… if we got married… with immigration and stuff.”
“But you loved him?”
“Yes,” you answer. “I think… we knew we wanted to stay together… so we took the leap, unafraid of the fact that everything has its expiration date too. Ours just uh, came a little sooner than we expected.”
“What happened?” Luca asks. 
You chuckle dryly, racking your brain for the answer to a question you’ve asked yourself a million times. 
“Um… moving back home changed a lot, I think. And we met when we were so young that I don’t think by the time we were caring for a sick parent together, we realized we didn’t really even know who we were anymore,” you explain, putting words to a feeling that’s live in your heart for so long – long enough that you’ve barely shared them with anyone else. 
“And… I was living in a whole new country without any kind of familiarity. I was homesick, and all of it – it was just really hard on the both of us,” you think through as you speak. 
“I think it just made us realize that we had changed… and that maybe we weren’t the same people who fell in love all those years ago.”
“I’m sorry,” Luca apologizes, sending you an empathetic glance. 
“It’s okay,” you’re quick to reassure him. “It was tough. Don’t get me wrong. Like… really tough. But nothing… horribly wrong happened. Some people can grow together.” You pause, only for a moment. “We didn’t. We… weren’t those people, I guess. So we grew apart.”
Luca takes a few moments to process what you’ve just told him with a pensive look on his face – and you can’t blame him. 
He waits a beat, before returning his gaze to you, a respect for you in his eyes: for your honesty, for your story, for your resilience. 
“Are you still in love with him?” he finally asks. 
It’s a good question – an interesting one – and even more interesting that he asked in the first place. 
“There are parts of me that will always love him,” you share, the vulnerability coming more naturally to you as Luca makes you feel more and more comfortable. “He’ll always be a part of me and… I still keep in touch with his family, you know. They became… my family too.” You pause, knowing that you can say this next part with full conviction:
“But to answer your question, no. I'm not… I’m not in love with him anymore.”
Luca nods slowly, almost as if he’s waiting for you to change your mind – to take it back – to say something that convinces him otherwise. But you don’t, and he’s not sure he’ll be able to help himself from giving in to things he’s been feeling for you. 
“I hope you don’t mind that I asked,” Luca finally says. 
“No I-,” you begin. “I’m glad you did. It feels nice… having someone ask.”
He smiles, “Like I said. I like learning about you.”
And with that, the two of you settle into your lawn chairs as the performers make their way onto the stage. There’s a shift – within the crowd, between you and Luca – as the musicians take their places, ready to perform. With the first few notes, the tuning of a guitar, a few keys on the piano, you feel yourself relax a little, encompassed by the warmth of the Copenhagen summer night. 
It’s almost as if telling Luca, sharing this with him, has lifted a weight off of your shoulders – no longer hanging over your head as you go back and forth of when to tell him, and if you should tell him, and thoughts of ‘why the hell are you worrying about this it’s not like he wants to know’. 
Except he did and he does because he wants to know you. 
And tonight, because he asked, because he’s proven to be a great listener, and because he looks so damn good doing it, you might just let him.
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a/n: ok how the hell are we feeling now that we know a little more about reader, her past, and why she's been holding back?! i honestly wanted to write a character that felt fresh, and different from me/my make my heart surrender character SO yeah, this where we're at --second chances at love and a story about opening up again -- with more to come.
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fayes-fics · 2 months
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Friends & Family
Friends + Masterpost
Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton x fem!reader, Modern AU
Summary: Anthony has a very important question to ask, but the universe appears to be conspiring against him. Threequel. Set a year after the first fic in this series
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Warnings: 18+ smut, minors DNI. Public sexual acts, vaginal fingering, vaginal sex, woman on top, back-to-back orgasm. Also, on a non-sexual front, all sorts of emotions and thwarted proposals.
Word Count: 5.4k
Authors Note: This is VERY, VERY belated request fill for the divine @colettebronte. She has had the patience of a saint as I have grappled with this request for many months. I hope this is worth the wait, but to be honest, after this delay, I'm not sure anything could be. Thank you to @sorryallonsy for betaing. Please enjoy <3
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I
“Viscount Anthony Bridgerton, what is this??” 
There is an undignified yelp, and a spatula drops to the floor with a loud splat. Apparently, he didn't hear you come in.
“Bloody hell! You scared the shit out of me… And what is the full-name business all about?” he exclaims, spinning around, holding his hands aloft as if in a hostage situation. The sight is made even funnier by the fact he is wearing one of your novelty aprons, complete with floppy bunny ears.
You have walked in from afternoon coffee with old friends to find your kitchen in absolute disarray. Pots, pats on every surface, opened containers, the contents of your spice cupboard all pulled out and haphazardly dotted around. There is a large pile of reusable shopping bags with half-open veggies in and what looks like a sourdough loaf cut open and likely going stale next to the complete wrong knife for the job at hand. There is almost no worktop surface that is left unused or covered in some sticky-looking residue from god knows what. 
“I said yes to you making dinner while I was out; I did not say you could conduct some kind of controlled explosion in my kitchen,” holding your hands up in exasperated resignation. 
Frankly, it’s a mystery why he offered to make dinner in the first place; you have never seen the man so much as boil an egg in all the years you have known him. And certainly not in the twelve months you have loved him. His idea of cooking is usually stopping at Whole Foods to pick up a hot rotisserie chicken.
He walks towards you with that adorable puppy dog expression, his perennial get-out-of-jail-free card. You pick a fleck of what you think is broccoli from his hair as he reaches you.
“Points for effort?” he pouts, a tiny smile toying with the corners of his mouth, seeking forgiveness. You let him pull you into his arms and kiss your cheek. “Do you still love me?” he teases, pulling back to shoot you that perfect-toothed charming grin.
“I’ll love you even more if you tidy all this up,” you counter, raising an eyebrow as he chuckles. “Although I’m intrigued. You have never once made dinner since we’ve been dating; why now?”
“Well, I wanted to do something special…” he says pointedly, pulling away to switch off the hob when there is a slight burning smell in the air.
“What’s so special about today?” You frown.
“Really?” He spins around to look at you, a slight pout as you wrack your brains. “What happened on this date one year ago?”
Ohhh…
You feel bad you had completely not realised it. Exactly one year ago to this day, you got together after many years of combative flirting. Heart melting in your ribcage as you suddenly realise this is him attempting to cook an anniversary dinner for you. 
“You secret romantic, you,” you murmur, contrition and affection burning inside as you can't help but seek his touch.
“Don’t let anyone know,” he jests as he pulls you into his arms again and kisses your temple. “I have a reputation to uphold….”
“Of course…” you giggle, resting your head on his shoulders as you sway together in the bombsite that was your kitchen. “And here was me thinking you would do something far more risqué…”
“Such as..?” he prompts, intrigued by where your thoughts have gone.
“Oh, I don't know….” you run your fingers into his lush hair, pressing into him. “Maybe take me back to that same penthouse your friend owns. Maybe make it to that overpriced sofa this time…” his eyes flash dark and dangerous, licking his lips, and you feel compelled to continue, “Maybe even that enormous bed. And the balcony….”
He groans gently as his mind no doubt fills with the same images as yours. “Fuckkkkkkk….” he rues, “I should have done that. I’m definitely no Gordon Ramsey….”
You laugh and run your hands up his biceps. “Maybe not. But I do have a suggestion…” you offer, dropping your voice a little smokier.
“Tell me…” Anthony rumbles, nudging your cheek until your lips brush, fingers digging into your flesh where he holds you.
“Let's work up an appetite and then order from our usual. Tidying up can wait…” you whisper, mouth ghosting over his, fingers opening the top button of his shirt and toying with the patch of chest hair.
“You’re fucking perfect.”
You squeal gently as he picks you up and strides towards your bedroom. The little navy velvet box burning a hole in his suit jacket pocket can wait for another day. Perhaps.
II
During a boring editorial meeting the following morning, your phone buzzes in your lap.
AB: Can you be at mine at 7pm tonight?
Y/N: Yes… but why?
AB: All will be revealed 😉 
AB: Come hungry for delicious protein 
Y/N: Filthy. I like it. 😉😛
AB: OMG NO! Not THAT. Bloody hell…
Y/N: Shame…
AB: Well, okay, maybe a bit of that. Afterwards. 😉
Y/N: *victory dance* 💃 
AB: I love you, you filthy animal 😛😘
You walk into Anthony’s kitchen at precisely 7pm that evening to find some very posh-looking man in a bowtie pouring some wine into the good glasses. The ones you are too scared to use. 
“What is all this?” Your curiosity piqued.
“Cooking was a disaster, so this is recompense,” Anthony greets you with a hug and a brief kiss on the lips. 
He looks handsome in his usual crisp shirt, undone just enough at the chest to be distracting, and custom-tailored trousers that cling to him just right. It takes some effort to tear your eyes away from him, but when you do, you now see a smorgasbord of cheese on his expansive, pristine white marble kitchen island, with fruit, crackers and all manner of chutneys.
“Oooh, lovely. Fancy cheese and wine night?” you guess.
“Indeed,” he replies warmly. “Baxter here is a world-renowned expert on such things. He will be taking us on a cheese world tour paired with the very best wines.”
“Sounds lovely. Thank you,” you nod to the man, then crowd into Anthony again. “The anniversary of our first proper date?” you guess, kissing his jaw, enjoying the slight rasp of stubble there.
“The lady is learning…” he ribs genially, taking your hand and pulling you along to take a seat on one of the stools.
Baxter speaks engagingly and knowledgeable, and admittedly, every cheese and wine pairing is exquisite. Just a bite from each, but after 10 countries, you are a little tipsy, leaning into Anthony and shooting him goofy smiles, resting your chin on his shoulder, cheekily grabbing his thigh where the fabric pulls taut right over his quad muscle so temptingly. You want to climb into his lap and wrap around him.
After an hour, the man politely takes his leave, mentioning he has left some more “adventurous” choices in sealed boxes in the fridge. 
“What does adventurous cheese mean?” you tipsily ponder after the man has left. “Do you think it's abseiled down a mountain?”
Anthony laughs accommodatingly at your goofiness, taking your hand and leading you outside onto the balcony. “I assume strong-flavoured maybe. But I’m quite sure it's all bravado,” he assures.
You lean on the railing, looking down upon the Thames below, all of London seeming reflected in its inky depths, a thousand lights twinkling in its choppy waves, like a sea of stars beneath you.
“I could never tire of this view,” you declare wistfully, a warmth behind your ribs as he crowds into your back, placing a light blanket around your shoulders.
“It is yours to enjoy for as long as it is mine,” he breathes into your hair, kissing your temple and wrapping his arms around your waist.
You sway together gently in the breeze, your hands over his, pushing back into his warm body.
“I love you,” you say quietly, turning to nuzzle his cheek.
“I love you too,” he responds immediately, “and I have for so long now; it feels wrong when you are not with me,” his tone ardent, gentle. “Wait here….” he whispers, a waver in his voice that makes you pause.
You wait patiently as he slips back inside, the breeze dancing through your hair as you inhale deeply and soak in the city. Although you are high above street level, the sounds are still there, like a background hum. It’s as energising as the country air at his rural ancestral home in Kent, just in a different way—so vibrant and teeming with life. 
Anthony seems to be gone for a while, so out of intrigue, you wander inside to the fridge, grab one of the containers Baxter left and take it back onto the balcony before he reappears. When you peel it open, you are taken aback by the smell. It's very pungent, even out in the open air. 
“There is an important question I wa…” Anthony freezes mid-sentence. “Dear god, what is that smell?” he exclaims, his face scrunching violently.
“Oh, I think it's the cheese Baxter left.” 
You swing the container around so it's right under his nose and watch him go white as a sheet and then double over to one side, dry heaving.
“That's disgusting!” He gags, quickly putting something small from his hand into his trouser pocket as he coughs roughly, almost bent double.
“It’s not that bad, is it?” you frown, bringing the container back to your own nose, closer than you had it before.
Then, a wave of nausea hits you, too. It smells of decay and bad feet and turns your stomach so violently that you have to grab the balcony railing to stop yourself from stumbling.
“Fuck that's terrible,” you stutter, trying hard to keep down the rich wines and cheeses you have already consumed.
“Throw it!” Anthony blurts, somewhat frantic.
“Where?” you panic, holding it away at arm's length, desperate to stay upwind of it.
“Off the fucking balcony! Fling it in the Thames! I can't even have that shit in my bins….” he yelps before another wretch doubles him over again.
Gripping the container, you fling the contents as hard as you can, watching the blob of cheese sail downwards in an arc for twelve storeys, hitting the river below with a distant but satisfying plop. You both stand there wheezing and gasping as you reseal the container immediately, fearful of any residual scent.
“Dear god, am I going to inadvertently ruin every one of these special evenings?” he grumbles under his breath, sounding more like a rhetorical question than anything.
You have no idea what he could mean, but you don’t have the capacity to ask - you have to run to the cloakroom as the mere olfactory flashback makes you nauseated.
When you reemerge ten minutes later, full of regret and needing toothpaste, you find him in his en suite bathroom in a similar fragile state. You both crawl into his bed feeling delicate, curling up foetal and holding hands across the expanse of the bed, him muttering apologies.
III
The following week, Anthony takes you back to the same restaurant where you had your second date, one year to the day later. Seeing the pattern in advance, you wear the beautiful little black dress he bought you recently. And you are pleased to make him temporarily tongue-tied when you slip off your coat to reveal it, whispering coquettishly in his ear that you are happy to skip dinner and return to his.
“Oh, we will,” he rumbles, a promissory note that lights a fire low in your belly.
After perusing the menu, you decide to order the same dish you had last time. You are certain everything is terrific, but you remember it being so delicious it had you making noises only Anthony usually can. Also, you are hoping for a complete repeat of the same night from a year ago. Memorably, it was the first time he managed to give you three orgasms in one night—you are very keen to repeat that. 
But rather strangely, Anthony’s energy seems slightly off, almost nervous. You can only assume it's apprehension that this night does not go as the previous two attempts at anniversary celebrations have. 
While you are sharing a delicious starter, a familiar face over the room at the bar catches your eye.
“Is that Benedict?” you frown, causing Anthony to twist in your booth and look.
“Probably,” he sighs.
You are nonplussed by his reaction, so you take it upon yourself to wave to him, to Anthony’s seeming chagrin.
When Benedict wanders over, you notice his shoulders are hunched, a shuffled gait. Not the usual mister sunshine he is.
“Hey Ben, everything okay?” you check as he pulls up nearby, hovering a little.
“I got dumped,” he exhales. “So I’m drowning my sorrows,” he explains, holding his whiskey tumbler aloft in a rueful toast.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” you grimace, knowing he has been more unlucky in love than not, which seems a shame; he’s a sweet, good-looking man but often gets used, attracted to people who take advantage of his giving nature.
“Anyway, I don’t want to interrupt your dinner…” he placates modestly, glancing at his older brother, who seems to be brooding.
“Don't be silly, you can join us,” you beckon him into the booth.
“No, he can’t,” Anthony interjects.
You frown at him. “Why not? It’s just dinner,” you dispute.
“No, it’s not; it’s our anniversary,” Anthony argues before turning to Benedict. “Brother, I love you and all, but would you kindly fuck off?” Anthony grouses, gritting his teeth.
“Anthony!” You admonish. “Don’t be a dick!” You roll your eyes. “Ignore your grouchy brother, Ben; of course, you can join us,” you offer again, seeing the hesitancy but also the sadness tugging at the corner of his eyes that means you are worried about leaving him alone.
He acquiesces, and as he wanders across to the bar to grab his jacket and join you, you scowl at Anthony. “He’s just been dumped. You could be nicer,”
“I could… just not tonight,” he says, almost harangued.
You decide not to dwell on why he seems unduly hung up on this evening’s plans, being so particular, watching him seem to fiddle with an item in his jacket pocket, then look askance across the restaurant, defeated. 
“Anthony, are you okay?” You check quietly as Benedict walks back over.
“Yeah, I just….” He sighs and finally meets your eye squarely with a tinge of sadness. “I had other plans for us tonight. Not babysitting…”
At one point during the main course, Benedict excuses himself to the bathroom. Anthony has been mostly monosyllabic, almost sulking, and you feel guilty; perhaps he did indeed have other ideas for the evening.
You shuffle around to lean into him and grab his hand, placing it high on your thigh under the table, the message unmistakable.
“We can still have our plans for later…” you whisper hotly into his ear.
He seems to perk up immediately, his hand grasping your flesh in a way that catches your breath. “You always know what to say to make me feel better…” he murmurs, at once playful and reverent.
“Touch me…” you whisper, the need for him an instant, tart taste in your mouth.
“Here, in the restaurant? With my brother coming back to join us any moment?” His tone is incredulous but unmistakably aroused.
“Yes…” you hiss, pushing his hand up higher to the junction of your thighs where you burn molten for him always.
He growls when he realises you have made another style choice, this one scandalous—no underwear.
“I’ll do more than that, you wonderful minx,” he huffs, pulling your thigh over his lap under the tablecloth. He plunges two fingers into your aching pussy and presses his thumb over your clit. You gasp and grip the table hard, just as Benedict reappears.
It certainly does wonders for Anthony’s disposition, like he is a different man now. Chatting amiably to his brother as you subtly try not to look flustered, dripping silently into his palm as he holds still. 
“Whatever you did to put this one in a better mood, thank you,” Benedict jests at one point.
“I just had to give the old grouch a hug and his favourite toy to keep him entertained,” you joke back, him not realising exactly how true that is. Anthony’s fingers flex deep inside you at your cheeky riposte, and you can feel his smirk as you have to cough to hide your moan.
“Well, thank you,” Benedict smiles, “you bring things out in my brother I never thought I would see. So whatever magic trick you are pulling, keep doing it.”
Anthony’s fingers curl hard against your g spot, and you have to laugh loudly to not scream.
“She’s the very best brother,” Anthony replies, lips brushing your temple as he flicks his thumb teasingly over your clit. “I hope one day you find someone as special as she is,” he offers, his first sympathetic noise to his brother of the evening.
“I should be so lucky,” Benedict adds quietly, tone pensive, glancing at his phone as it lights up by his elbow.
Anthony withdraws from your pussy; you whimper mutely, feeling bereft but also relieved, not sure you can act any longer. You watch as he brings those fingers up to his mouth and sucks them decadently as Benedict is distracted by his phone.
“Thank you for dessert, my love,” he thrums into your ear, “and the show,” he adds cheekily, your clit and pussy clenching, denied, so very aroused.
“Take me home right now, Anthony!” Your order is through gritted teeth, quiet but brokering no argument. 
And he does.
IV
A tide of relief hits you as the door to his sleek penthouse clicks softly open; tossing aside your umbrella and slipping off your shoes in the fancy hallway. It's been a taxing work day; all you can think about is climbing into the shower, then curling up and watching something mindless until Anthony gets home.
“Y/n…” 
An enticing but distant call in that familiar voice.
“Anthony?” you respond, puzzled. “I thought you would be out late tonight?” you add, wandering forward, trying to find the source.
“Change of plan….” 
You cross the open-plan lounge area with its floor-to-ceiling view across the rooftops of London. It's been more than a year of dating, and still, you aren't entirely used to the sheer scale of his place compared to yours. It feels like it takes ages to get across just his living room.
“Where are you?” you frown, hands on hips. It sounds like he's likely in the bedroom.
“Follow the sound of my voice,” he entices, and yep, it's definitely from that direction.
However, when you wander in, the room is empty, the early evening sun blazing onto the soft, luxurious white duvet on his vast bed.
“Getting warmer,” he offers, quieter now, and you recognise his voice has an echo. He can only be in his en-suite bathroom.
You round the corner into that tastefully masculine room - all slate and birch - to be greeted by a sight that makes your lungs feel too tight.
There, in his sizeable sunken whirlpool tub, is one Anthony Bridgerton. Very naked and very wet. Standing so that the bubbling waterline hugs his hips—acres of toned torso, water droplets meandering down the washboard of his stomach and glistening in the thatch of hair across his chest. You bite your lips without even realising it, shifting your stance as you feel a ripple of excitement over your skin.
“Hello, Ms y/l/n,” he preens, knowing exactly how much the sight before you makes you tongue-tied and aroused.
“Hello…” you stutter back, eyes still feasting. “What is the CEO of Bridgerton Enterprises doing taking a bath at….” you glance down to check your watch, “... 5:25 pm on a Thursday?”
“It's a special occasion…” he smirks, wading towards the edge of the tub closest to you. “I thought a bath would be nice.” 
You can't seem to look away from the wake of waves cresting his Adonis belt as he does so. The sight of something delicious just below the surface is almost hypnotic. 
“My eyes are up here, you know,” he mocks gently, tongue literally in cheek, as you cut your gaze to his triumphant face.
“Wh… what special occasion?” you manage to stumble out.
“Surely you recall what happened on this night exactly twelve months ago?” 
When you look nonplussed - frankly, you can barely remember your own name right now - he mock sighs.
“I surprised you on my way back from the airport?” he prompts.
“Oh!” you suddenly cotton on, “it's been a year since we exchanged keys!”
He nods, and a fetching beam breaks out across his face. “Ahhh, the lady remembereth,” he winks.
“So this is how you’re celebrating?” your eyes again drag covetously down his body. 
“No, this is how WE are celebrating…” he corrects and gestures towards a bottle of champagne chilling in a bucket at one corner of the tub, along with two long-stemmed flutes.
You can't help but match his grin now. “Well, I can’t find fault with that idea,” you admit, taking a step closer until you are at the edge of the tub surround.
“Hmm, I thought not,” he says silkily, closing the gap between you.
Grabbing the back of your neck with a firm hand, he draws you down into a deep, sensual kiss. His mouth claims yours. You shiver as warm water trickles down inside your top from the hand in your hair. He crowds into you, soaking your clothing with the press of his body as you kneel on the sunken tub surround.
“Oh no, this is all wet,” he feigns, tugging lightly at your sleeve, “you will just have to take it off.”
“Hmmm. I rather think that is your doing. How about you take it off?” you challenge, the banter between you never seeming to get old.
“Maybe I’ll just pull you into the water fully clothed?” he posits, raising an eyebrow.
You laugh and take a step back, revelling in his undivided attention as you strip for him, his chest rising and falling rapidly, his expression hungry; the only sounds are his panted breath and the bubbles roiling in the tub. You are down to your underwear, a new matching lacy set, as if you knew, on some subconscious level, it was a special occasion, when he lunges forward and makes you squeal as he effortlessly picks you up and hauls you into the huge tub with him. The warm, effervescent water is a balm and tonic, making your skin tingle. 
“What is the point of celebrating anything if it’s not an excuse to get naked?” he offers silkily, cupping your jaw with both palms, his wet thumbs rubbing over your cheekbones, then his lips are back, plundering, seeking, his tongue tangling with yours as his hands roam your skin, arranging so you are straddling his lap, his cock a solid press against your inner thigh.
This is indeed how you always want to celebrate every milestone of your relationship—with wonderful, sensual intimacy. Anthony pulls back from the kiss, and you stare into his rich eyes, blissfully tracing the lines of his face with fingertips as he easily unhooks your bra and pulls it gently over the rounds of your shoulders. This close-up and soaked, his face is all sharp contours and smooth, lightly tanned skin.
“You are too handsome,” your internal monologue spilling out with a light mewl as his thumbs brush your nipples.
“I love you too,” he chuckles drolly to make a point. 
“Oh yes, that too,” you append with a playful pout. Then, a more sincere “I love you.”
“Wonderful to hear,” he rumbles into your ear as his hands slide underwater to tug down your underwear. 
He pulls you deeper into his lap, your thighs pushed wide around his slender hips. His rigid cock nudges your slit promisingly, and you wait with bated breath for his much-wanted invasion. But he pauses, and you feel the curl of his smile against your cheekbone.
“Champagne?” he teases, holding still.
“Now?!” you splutter. “How about you get inside me first?”
“I thought you'd never ask,” he answers, wry and laconic. 
Any witty riposte you may have dies on your lips as he surges into your body, knowing you need no warm-up, ready for him the minute you rounded the corner of the room. 
“Happy key day,” he murmurs as your eyes flutter closed and you moan loudly, him nudging that spot that makes you so addicted to him.
“Happy key day,” your response is a ragged exhale as you adjust to his deep invasion. 
Every time it still feels like the first, like it's just too good, and you just want to cling to him and be fucked into oblivion or fuck him into oblivion. A potent, heavy feeling inside that makes you crackle with energy and feel sated at the same time.
“Fuck me, Anthony,” you sigh into his wet hair, pushing closer into his embrace, voicing your exact desires.
“With pleasure.”
You squeak as his hands grasp tight around your waist and haul you up until just his tip is still inside you, then slams you back down, a curse falling from your lips as he does. His handling is slightly rough in a way that feels perfect, his teeth glancing your earlobe before he sucks it into his mouth and bites lightly.
Then it's a wondrous carnal dance, your joint noises echoing up the slate tiles as you fuck wantonly. Taking over at one point and gripping the edge of the oversized tub, you ride him for all your worth, chasing that feeling only he, his cock, has ever given you. So addictive ever since that very first night.
“I only ever want to fuck you, always…” the words tumbling from your lips unbidden, no filter between your thoughts and mouth as you spiral higher.
Even in the full throes of passion, his expression softens as you confess it. 
“Forever?” something vulnerable in his panted tone as you rise and fall upon him.
“Forever, Anthony Bridgerton,” you vow, sensing his need to hear it, wrapping your arms tightly around his shoulders, pressing all of your being into him, wanting your bodies to be forged together somehow.
His thumb slips between your legs, and you cry out as he snags your clit perfectly, eyes rolling, feeling like a live wire.
“I need to feel it; please give it to me,” he implores desperately, thumb flicking almost violently over your engorged pearl.
It doesn't take much more, and you are fracturing around him. Crying his name, fingernails leaving crescent shapes on his shoulders as you reach that high, unable to stop slamming upon him as you flutter, your whole body spasming in pleasure but unwilling to stop. Him roaring his approval as you squeeze his cock tight, rippling around him.
“Please don't come,” you plead to him, “I need more, Anthony, more,” a wrecked sob, wanting to orgasm again. He snarls, his teeth on your cheekbone, his grip tightening around your hips, staving off his orgasm as best he can.
You grab his face and babble nonsense, saying you need his cock forever, strung out on the edge, almost a mania in your being, needing everything he can give. He pants harshly into your open-mouthed, sloppy kisses as you keep riding wound so tight like a coiled spring, wanting to be speared open by him always.
“Marry me!” he cries as you both reach that peak together, an explosion in both of your beings, feeling him come inside you harsh and deep, moaning your name like a prayer.
You collapse upon him, the bubbles of the jetted tub tickle your skin as you heave breaths, wracked and sated to your very core. A high like you have never known.
“Did you just…. propose?” you stutter as your brain comes back online, his cock still buried inside you.
“Shit…” he laments. “That was NOT how it was supposed to go! I had it all planned out!” he decries, burying his face into your shoulder where you still sit upon him.
“Anthony….” there are no other words, shock tying your tongue. 
He pulls back and looks contrite. “Please allow me a do-over?” his face so beseeching.
Raw emotion and victory crest hard in your veins, and you can't help but banter with him - as you always have, as you always will, until death do you part now.
“No, Viscount Bridgerton,” you rag, holding his face, “No do-overs. You will just have to live with the fact you proposed to me as we came together….” 
His face is a jumble of warring emotions as you realise you have kept him on tenterhooks about your answer. 
“…And you will just have to accept that I said yes with you still inside me,” you add silkily.
A handsome grin claims his whole face, relief and devotion coursing through him. “We can’t tell anyone,” he whispers as you resurface from another kiss.
“Our little secret,” you smile back as he finally slips from your body.
“You know I might be the first-ever Viscountess with a garden flat in Zone 3,” you chuckle, sitting in matching fluffy robes on his balcony, the sky a riot of colour as the sun sets. 
A few minutes before, he had gotten down on one knee and produced a little velvet box. You squealed and said yes again, watching transfixed as he pushed a flawless, elegant three-carat diamond onto your finger.
Anthony frowns deeply. “Err, no. You are moving in here with me,” he asserts loftily.
“I’m not selling my place!” 
“You can rent it out!” he waves dismissively.
“Urgh, tenants. Hassle.” You roll your eyes.
“Okay, fine, then we can just use it to store all of my stuff you hate, alright?” he counters, catching your gaze with a fiery challenge. Your insides ablaze that your trademark flirtatious antagonism will always be there, even once you are married.
“Oh, Viscount Bridgerton, you have a deal…” you whisper coquettish and swing off of your lounger onto his, straddling him and sealing the pact with a kiss.
“I’m just so glad I could finally make it happen.” 
You flip around and settle between his legs, your spine on his chest, lacing your hands together over your robe. “What do you mean?”
He barks a laugh you feel echo into your back. “So this is not the first time I have tried to propose to you. Remember that disastrous cooking? Attempt 1. Cheese night when we almost died? Attempt 2. Benedict interruptus? Attempt 3.” He holds up a hand before you, counting each on his fingers. “I almost gave up.”
You laugh and realise with hindsight how he seemed off kilter on those occasions, a soft ache behind your ribs in empathy. “I’m so glad you didn’t. Give up, that is,” you murmur, running your fingers over his lovingly once he lowers his hand back to your belly.
“I jest; I would never give up trying to make you my wife,” he pledges solemnly into your hair, kissing the shell of your ear. “And I hope you will never give up on me, as terrible of a husband as I will likely be….” he demures.
“I can do that, old friend…” you tease, a callback to that first night you got together.
“Less of the old,” he chides, immediately picking up your invitation, an exact repeat of your words to each other that first night you got together, heart melting as you realise he remembers the conversation word for word, too.
“I've known you my whole life, Anthony,” you continue, that conversation etched into your brain, turning back over in his arms. “You can't lie to me…”
“I never will,” he goes offscript, and you exchange laden looks. Then, a dangerous smirk takes over his face as he leans closer. “But you can handcuff me to our bed anytime,” he adds, a nod to the joke you made that night.
“You wish, you lucky fuck,” you respond, aping his line. 
He grins widely and pulls back, handing you a champagne flute from the nearby lounger table.
“From old friends to new family…” he toasts, sincere and ardent, clinking his glass softly against yours.
“Friends and family…” you smile, your diamond ring afire in the setting sun, as you take a sip and pull him in for a blistering kiss.
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