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commanderquinn · 10 months

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Good Space Chapter 3: Hey Gringo

! i dont! keep these posts! updated! like i do! ao3!

that means you're going to find typos and shit (and possibly minor detail changes) that don't match the ao3 version! that's because im not going to bother fixing the tumblr posts until i finish good space as a whole. im only uploading them here as a backup tbh

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master list / ao3 chapter link

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warnings: ayyy!! none this time!! unless you wanna count Highly Disrespectful Thoughts ❤️ tho!!! the flashbacks are shuri, heads up for anyone who is a big baby (like me) and still crying over WF. also (shocker) bucko angst/panic attacks

song: it KALEO time!! istg there are golden oldies and hippie classics on this intended playlist, we just havent gotten to them yet. this choice is mega self-indulgent on my end ngl, buuuuut thats the whole fic in general lbr (side note: every time i write Angy Ava, i want you to imagine the vocal intensity of jefferson airplane’s lead singer, grace slick)

the timing of this chapter could NOT have been better with the probably-russian hackers knocking out ao3 that long. i mean it dude, im pretty sure the universe had a good chuckle over this one bc i sure as shit had to sit here and go “youre pullin my leg bud”

also now feels like a good time to mention, for absolutely no reason in particular (definitely not bc of Bucky being a Huge Simp this chapter), that i hc bucky as a dom with service top leanings. i just didnt wanna give the impression that reader is dom for this and accidentally get anyones hopes up with no payoff. i try to avoid that as much as i can bc god knows i drop Big Honkers on y’all every damn chapter, id hate for you to get all the way to the end of this and not get your cookie, y’know? (i am, ofc, down to write mega sub bucky for smut-shot requests)

also remember when i mentioned giving ava a HANDFUL of physical details for writing fuel? 🌝 (ur gonna think im funny rlly soon, dw)

anyways if you dont have adhd, good luck and god speed with the idiots thinkin abt each other in this chapter ❤️ im so sorry in advance 🥺😔

—

Febuary 17th, 2015

"Good morning, Sh—"

"Have you left your worthless husband yet?" Shuri impatiently taps a finger against her elbow, where her arms are crossed over her chest.

She watches Ava sigh on the other end of the vidcall. The woman looks too tired. She needs rest. Shuri wants to stab Alec all over again. She's going to make a new, self-lacing, possibly electrified dagger just for the occasion. "I know you're just trying to—"

"We can come to get you. I will send T'Challa. You must promise me that you will have him get me something from Washington." Shuri raises a stern finger, pointing it directly at the camera. "Do not let him pick it out himself—"

"Shuri, honey, I love you with all my heart, but please—"

"I want you to pick it. The furniture in your office is ridiculous; I want something like that."

A smile far too small pulls at the corners of Ava's lips. Her smile used to move freely, and it will do so again if Shuri has any say in the matter. Which she does. "Well, thank you, I work very hard to keep it ridiculous. Now—"

"It will make me think of you whenever you are not around to make fun of my brother with me. My mother will get the lawyers you need to start your divorce—"

"I—sweetheart, please, it's been a very long night—"

"It is the afternoon where you are. You have not even had breakfast, have you? Of course not. You are busy doing the work while Alec—"

"Shuri!" Ava puts a hand over her eyes and takes an unsteady breath in. "I'm sorry. This is—it's been a long night. I didn't mean to yell at you—"

"You need to start yelling much more, Ava. Aim it at your worthless husband while you tell him you are leaving," Shuri argues, entirely fed up with how the doctor allows the spineless dickhead to make her miserable. "T'challa will remove him for you while you stay here with us."

Alec—she refuses to call him Ryder; the man does not deserve to have taken the doctor's name—leans into the camera view, his expression bored. Dismissive. Shuri wants to smash his wrinkling, greasy face in with her fist. "While I appreciate the offer, your majesty, my wife and I can handle our private life alone."

Shuri glares back at him, one of her eyebrows hiked as far up as she can comfortably get it. "Do you really think being aware of your presence on this call will deter me from reminding my friend that you are a demon?" She looks pointedly at Ava, who's still covering her eyes. "He is a demon. A pasty, rude demon."

"Alec is going to shut the fuck up now, I promise." The fingers over Ava's eyes pull in until she's pinching the bridge of her nose tightly. She looks as if she's fighting off a migraine. She probably is. And it is Alec's fault. "That way, we can get this over with, and I can finally get some sleep—"

"Which you need and are not getting enough of." The words slip out before Shuri can stop them.

Ava's shoulders deflate slightly. Her hand drops, and she attempts another smile that doesn't reach her eyes, making Shuri feel a pang of guilt. "No, I'm not. But I will, just as soon as we finish the basic adaptation matrix. I promise."

Ava always encourages her to speak her mind, no matter what. Sometimes it gets her into trouble. She is not looking to berate her favorite Canadian; she loves leaving the vidcomm between their labs on. The open connection is a comforting window into the outside, one that lets Shrui indulge in any question or raving that passes through her mind.

Alec is a poison in her friend's life, and Shuri will not back down from reminding her of that. But mother and Nakia have sat with her over this, explaining that sometimes, an abused heart will cling to what hurts it. They have to be supportive while Ava works through this. She's getting there. Just not nearly fast enough for Shuri's patience.

Father has been reminding them all that Alec is a risk, given what he knows. Trusting Ava means trusting her for the duration, and they can't go back now. If she says she is handling the issue of separating the man from her work, they have to allow her room to do that. But T'Challa has been ordered to keep close, or at the very least, ready to go.

As much as she despises Alec, Shuri does not wish to see Ava hurt in this. Not any more than necessary. She is also not interested in trying to control her friend the way her mother sometimes tries to control her. It is infuriating.

So, taking a deep breath and squaring her shoulders, she lets some of the fight leave her. For the sake of Ava, not the pasty demon. "I have the latest build ready for transfer."

"You're sure you've secured the connection on your end?" Alec has the audacity to question, even outside of the frame. "I'm not interested in spending my week chasing traces of this—"

"Do I look as if I will hesitate to strike you, colonizer?!"

—

"I'm just saying, Humpty Dumpty."

"Fuck off," Bucky wheezes at the billionaire, compressing the towel he grabbed from his new medkit against his ribs. Why he expected to make it through his first mission back without having to crack it open, he's not entirely sure now that he's sitting in the hindsight. Getting shot today was, if he's honest with himself, entirely predictable. It's his luck, after all.

"We let you out of the house again for five minutes, and you've already broken yourself." Tony shakes his head as he tsk's, making Bucky roll his eyes lazily. "What's Ryder going to think? If you keep this up, you'll give the woman a complex about draining your mojo."

"She's going to think I throw myself in front of armor-piercing rounds for idiots that don't notice when they're being shot at." The mention of Ava brings the doctor's smiling face to the forefront of his mind. Bucky leans back against the Quinjet's co-pilot seat, letting his eyes fall closed.

He could take care of this latest injury himself. That's what he usually does. Thanks to the serum, all he has to do is keep the wound clean for a few hours while his body stitches itself back together. Nothing's broken, and he'd be in much more pain if anything were punctured. Hell, he'd probably be dead already. The fix for this is so easy it'll practically handle itself.

"You always get so cranky after you've played the hero." He hears Tony kick his feet up on the Quinjet's main controls. "Take a breather. Maybe a bow or two. Believe it or not, it's possible to accept a compliment now and then."

"Grandstand more often, got it."

Ava's probably going to hear about today's incident now that Bucky thinks about it. If anything, Steve's going to make sure of it. He doubts she'd guilt him for not being comfortable with an optional trip to medical. They've been having more conversations about boundaries and comfort, and she's been unwaveringly supportive of him moving at his own pace.

"You don't have to grandstand, you gigantic baby," Natasha chides from between the chairs. Her hand smacks against his shoulder, making Bucky grunt softly. "A whole new world is going to open up for you when you relearn to accept praise."

Tony snorts, long and loud. "Has he reached that stage of modern education yet?"

"I reached that stage of education before you were born, Stark." Bucky's not territorial over his reputation anymore; those days are long since passed. The grand majority of his mojo got left in the 40s. He's just tired of Tony's shit. That's all it is.

He shifts uncomfortably in his seat. Ava might feel bad that he didn't come to her for something like this. He doesn't... want that. He doesn't want her thinking that he doesn't welcome her help or that he doesn't trust it. He... he does. He doesn't just appreciate having the option; he enjoys it. The new routine is a breeze, and his neck feels better than it ever has. At least that he can remember.

"I'm confused," Tony mumbles around a mouthful of snacks. The man never stops eating. "Are we talking about your no-no years, or did you and Rogers hit up underground bars before Germany?"

"I know all his secrets from the vanilla days; they never went to any of the fun ones," Natasha confirms. It's not like Bucky was going to take the verbal bait anyways. Steve still falls for it regularly.

"I like how you don't deny having the rest of the answer; I feel like it tells me all I can tolerate about the icicles when it comes to this. That's my favorite part about you, Romanoff. You know when I don't need to know, you know?"

His dumbass friends might as well be background noise with Bucky's mind this firmly in the memory of Ava's office. She's been so good to him, especially over this last week while she pushed through all the red tape for him. He'd been expecting it to take an eternity of hounding Steve all by his lonesome, but she got him back in the field in under two weeks. His best friend had actually been kind of pissy about it behind closed doors. For Bucky, it was like getting sprinkles on top of his cake.

He's been thinking about getting flowers delivered to her lab for the trouble. It feels like too much whenever his thumb hovers over the confirmation button. He's reached the part of staring at the order details four times.

"I'm pretty sure your country doesn't appreciate it as much as you do. They tend to fight cold wars over it."

"Well, yeah, but our country—you see what I did there? That was a pretty funny communism joke. And it works as a reminder for both of us that you're actually an American citizen these days; isn't that wild? Back to the point here, our country fights wars over stuff we do ourselves all the time, so that doesn't feel like a fair reason to dismiss our friendship."

The doctor's forcing him to expand his music library. Her taste there is as scattered as her taste in movies, but she's got some leading themes he's been able to pin down. The 60s and 70s are huge for her, expectedly, and she's got a lot of nostalgia over the 90s. Paige keeps her versed in all things pop, folk, and country, according to her.

"If I start referring to the US as my country, you people will expect me to do things like register to vote. Or put up wallpaper."

"I don't think anyone's expecting you to be legally allowed to do that. The voting thing, not the wallpaper. In most states. For multiple reasons. Although, the wallpaper might be a good call."

Ava invited him to their absurdly large archive of playlists during his second session. The ones Paige curates are nothing but insanity. Not one of them makes a lick of sense. Bucky decided that he should have expected that, given her Energizer Bunny reputation. Ava's are less scattered; more organized. Soothing for his mind to digest. He's been using them as workout music ever since. And driving music. And general background noise.

"I don't think I'd know where to start buying wallpaper. Do you even want me putting that shit on your expensive building?"

"Not really, but the idea of walking in on you rolling paste on the living room walls is worth anything it could take to fix them later."

God, she's funny, too. He could listen to the woman's awful, soul-crushing puns and subsequent cackling for hours. He'll never say that to her face, not for as long as he lives, but they've made him feel lighter every morning that he's gone to let her work him over. He's already stolen two of them to torture Sam with. Another thing he's not going to tell her.

"Maybe I should start smaller. Bruce keeps suggesting a car that has legal registration."

"Heeey, that could work. You'll be signing up for mailing lists and bitching about state tax in no time. You know what?" He hears Tony snap his fingers. "We should get you a houseplant. Work you up to having a fish or something."

Alright. Maybe he'll go to Ava. He doesn't want her to think he's trying to blow off her expertise again. Or that he's avoiding her. He's not; he really does like hanging out in her office. Even if it's technically a medical appointment. He's a lot more eager to visit her than his therapists, that's for sure.

"I am not paying taxes," Natasha scoffs. "If you think I'm tying a legal address to my name, you're out of your fucking mind. Moreso than usual."

"You don't think you'd enjoy having a cave to lurk in?"

"What makes you think I don't have one already?"

"I'm talking about a real house, not a safe house."

This injury isn't related to his cybernetics. It's his ribs, well below any of his implants. He's not entirely out of the loop when it comes to what doctors have to do to get their licenses. She no doubt had to pull a lot of hard hours during her residency. Maybe she doesn't want to patch up the tower's notorious grouch every time he takes a hit. But he doubts she'd ever be impolite enough to refuse him walking in.

"I have my space here: bathroom, laundry room, small kitchen. If I haven't bothered decorating that, what makes you think I'll want to do it for an entire house?"

"Aww, come on. Look at Ryder! She's having all kinds of fun making her place as obnoxious as possible. That could be you after a few online shopping sprees."

Bucky's eyes open slowly, his brows drawing in when the second verbal mention of Ava pulls parts of his attention back to the conversation.

Fuck, not going to medical still leaves the option of her taking offense. Okay. Alright. So, he'll split the difference and go to emergency intake. He's pretty sure she's listed as his surgical contact in the tower now—he can't stomach looking at his own medical file, not even the written records. Any injury this big will get flagged for trauma support, and she'll be notified. Then it's up to her what she wants to do. That feels like a good compromise.

"She's doing that to reclaim it from Alec; that's different. I don't have the same motivation. For me, it's just going to be extra work.

"Who's Alec?" Bucky asks without thinking. If the universe doesn't hate him today, Natasha's just going to assume he's being his usual kind of paranoid.

"She hasn't mentioned him?" Tony sounds surprised. "Alec's her ex-husband."

Ex-husband? She was married? And she's not anymore, meaning she might be—

He shuts down that train of thought immediately.

Reclaiming the space of her house implies they lived in it long enough to form some heavy memories. She hasn't mentioned having a kid, and she strikes him as the type to bring up something like that pretty fast. So it was just the two of them, most likely.

"People usually don't like talking about the egocentric sack of shit they used to coexist with," Natasha points out. Of course, she already knows about the doctor's history. It's her.

"Bad divorce?" he prods, trying not to sound overly invested in the answer. These assholes will take it as an invitation.

"Oh, the worst," Tony confirms. "Shithead tried fighting her on it tooth and nail. She had to borrow my legal team just to get the guy to fuck off and leave her alone. He even kept her surname after the divorce; can you believe that?"

An uneasy feeling starts to rise in his gut, making Bucky look over at him. Then up at Natasha. "What kind of won't leave her alone are we talking about?"

"Down, fido, my lawyers took care of it. There's no need to start tailing him. Aside from being a self-absorbed asshole that insists they'll," Tony's voice turns scornful as his fingers form air quotes, "work things out with time, he's toothless."

"She's got concealed carry permits she earned properly if that makes you feel better," Natasha offers up. The thought does help ease the tension building in him.

He won't read Ava's file, no matter how bad the buzzing gets. But he might check in with JARVIS about her home security. He's noticed her name on the system logs. She, or at least her house, is linked to SHIELD's network despite her general distrust of the organization. He understands the opposing priorities completely.

He caved and read Wyatt's file two nights ago. The buzzing had been building since Ava mentioned him wanting an autograph, and it finally got to be too much. Nothing's lurking there aside from an impressive list of historians from all the fuck over Georgia and Alabama. The kid's got more family than some towns have population.

Bucky leans forward with a muted groan to change the autopilot's intended LZ of the Avenger's balcony to the entrance hanger for medical. If he's going to grit his teeth through the antiseptic over a couple small holes, he's damn sure not going to haul his ass through half the tower while his ribs leak. His patience has limits, and that's pretty fucking far over the starting line.

Tony looks over at him with a deep, suspicious frown. Bucky frowns at him right back with the same level of scrutiny. He can feel Natasha staring a hole into the side of his head, even if he can't catch her in his peripherals. He hates both of them with a passion at the moment. He knows what's about to happen—

"Did you just… prioritize your own health," Tony questions like he's baffled by the very idea. His whole upper body turns in the seat as he looks up at Natasha excitedly. "Oh my god. He's doing it. All by himself." He raises a hand to his chest and looks back at Bucky. "They grow up so fast."

It's good that the autopilot is on. If it weren't, Bucky would be tempted to crash them out of spite, mostly because he's sure he'd survive it. "Very funny."

"All it took was a hippie that gives him candy," Natash adds, her voice dripping with smugness. "Who knew."

"Both of you can fuck off." Bucky doesn't like how close she just got to his primary motivation on the first try. Old habits die hard, et cetera. And he hates that he can't tell if she was trying to guess. If he's lucky, which he isn't, she was just making fun of him.

Natasha knows about his visits to the florist's website; he's fucking convinced of it now. He doesn't know how, and he can't outright call her on it. If he does, he could fuck up and make himself right. There is nothing worse than having the Black Widow as metaphorical family. Not even Steve's hovering.

She and Tony harass him for the remainder of the flight. It's not long, mercifully, and he's starting to regret not grabbing something for the doctor. They were in Montreal, of all places, so it would have been fitting. He figures she'll understand once he shows her his side. The train of thought makes him wonder what part of Canada she's originally from. She hasn't brought it up.

His foot is already bouncing by the time he reaches the elevator. He's still got the surgical towel shoved tightly against his ribs. He hopes she gets there fast if she ends up taking the call. The last thing he wants to do right now is sit around in the burn of antiseptic and bleach while he fights off the urge to bolt.

This is good, Bucky reminds himself as he takes his first few steps into medical. He's sat through plenty of trips to emergency intake. He can handle walking into his first optional one. It's a non-issue. Completely.

When JARVIS informs him that his file and general vital scan have been submitted for intake, the buzzing gets so intense that he almost leaves. The pace of his sergeant walk, as Sam likes to designate it, slows to a crawl. Then he thinks about a doctor with concealed carry permits. One that lets her house be monitored by a government organization she's actively pushing herself to trust. All in an effort to contribute something good to the world. The buzzing eases, and he picks up his pace, headed for the solo observation room JARVIS listed for him.

There's no moment of standing involuntarily from nerves this time. He doesn't have to force himself to sit back down and wait, even though the room smells wrong. His skin is crawling, and he wants nothing more than to put a throwing knife in his hand like a goddamn security blanket. But he doesn't panic. He doesn't try leaving.

Baby steps.

When the door opens, it's devastating. There's no diminutive hippie with UFO-sized glasses smiling at him on the other side of it. It's a guy in a plain white lab coat without artistic stitching, one that Bucky's never met before in his life. He's already squinting down at a tablet, meaning this will be his doctor for the duration.

This was the worst plan he could have possibly conceived. The universe is humbling him for thinking he could get away with something like this without some kind of suffering. He just wanted to make up for being dismissive of her help initially. Now he gets to sit through this. How fucking grand.

"Barnes?" The doctor that's not Bucky's doctor looks up, his heart rate elevating by a few notches. He's putting in a lot of effort to look confident. It's not exactly working. "I'm Dr. Erickson. I'm guessing you're here for the bullet wounds JARVIS detected?"

"Yup." Bucky's not about to volunteer for small talk at the moment. It's a miracle he hasn't jumped off the biobed yet. "Where's Ryder?"

"Your primary is in a staff meeting at the moment." Erickson puts his tablet down on the supply cabinet's main counter. He's already starting to gather what he needs, leaving Bucky to figure out real quick if he's actually willing to do this. "Don't worry; I'll get you sewn up and on your way in no time."

He doesn't want it getting back to Ava that he bailed the moment she couldn't show up. He doesn't want to leave her with the impression that he's only going to take on medical care if it's her; that's not anywhere near fair. The woman is a brain surgeon, not his private physician. He can grow the fuck up and accept help from people that haven't gone through his gauntlet of verification.

"Great," he pushes out, lifting the side of his undershirt to offer an unobstructed view.

It's not great; it's fucking horrendous. The first touch of the new doctor makes the overly physical memory of the buzzing build so high, he can feel it in his teeth. They're not actually rattling in his jaw the way they did back then, he knows that, but it doesn't matter because his body is screaming at him that it's happening.

The first stitch going through his skin makes him want to put his fingers through the doctor's eye sockets. His mind goes over all the ways he can violently put at least ten feet between them without having to get up. Looking back, it's probably good he didn't reach for the throwing knives. He's not unhinged enough to stab someone unprovoked; he's better than that. But they'd have been distracting to his impulse control, that's for sure.

Dr. Handsy is pulling the first suture in tight when the door to the observation room opens again. Bucky doesn't look up, his eyes locked on a random point on the far wall while he focuses on his breathing. He only looks over when a billowing, maroon pant leg enters his peripheral.

Thanks to a bunch of dead Nazi scientists that used to hide out in the mountains of Russia, Bucky Barnes has a trigger in his brain that is entirely out of his control. One that, when activated by his own interest, lets him process his surroundings in a sliver of the time that it should for a human mind. It is exceptionally helpful in the field.

Watching Ava Ryder walk in, wearing a suede jumpsuit that mercilessly frames her curves, proves to him that having it in the 30s would have gotten him shot by someone's father. Definitely before he left Brooklyn. Or before he got chased out by several fathers banding together with baseball bats. In the time it takes her hand to come off the door handle and make its way to her hip, his mind goes on one hell of a fucking journey.

He already had more than a vague idea of the shape of her before now; he can't help it. Comes with the territory of doing threat assessment for a living. God knows his eyes have slipped down to her chest on a shameful amount of occasions. Her tits are being held up and pushed together fucking beautifully at the moment. Typically, that would hold all of his attention.

But this is the first unobstructed view of her that he's gotten, thanks to the lab coat being nowhere in sight, and good fucking god. Holy fucking shit. Godfuckingdamn.

She's half turned from him at this angle, so he's only getting a side view. That's more than enough to show off an obscenely rounded ass and the cushy thighs it rests on that are going to haunt his fucking dreams. It's bigger than his hands by a margin that's outright glorious. The mental image of his fingers digging into it, of how it would make her skin dip under the pressure, makes his blood race.

He can't spot the outline of any underwear at first. Then her hand makes contact with the jumpsuit, and his eyes pick up on it. Right there, above the top of her finger, pulled up high over her hipbone. There's a thin band leaving an impression in the fabric. An extraordinarily thin band. There is nothing else in sight.

Pulled between Ava's legs, right at this very moment in time, is a strip of fabric that Bucky's tongue would fit against perfectly. Right under that is a taste he's been catching himself wondering about for two weeks now. One good, long drag of his nose. That's all it would take to push in whatever she's picked out for the day and soak it with that taste. He could get it back out from between her lips with his tongue, pull it to the side with his teeth to give himself room to feast—

Bucky tries to shift his weight as nonchalantly as possible while his brain slows back down. The comeback from tactical analysis is always jarring, with this one being especially so.

He's the worst kind of bastard. An awful, selfish, perverted sonofabitch. There's not shit he can do to change that. How unfortunate.

"David," Ava greets, the name coming out as tense as the closed smile plastered on her face. "You can put that down."

The other doctor doesn't look up from the work his hands are doing. "That you, Ava? I heard you were—"

"Now."

Bucky's back straightens up as David looks at her nervously, taken aback. Bucky doesn't blame him; he didn't know her voice could get that forceful.

David sort of laughs, which feels like the worst possible choice to Bucky. But, hey, not his call. "What, do you want me to just—"

"I want your hands off my patient right now. I'm not asking." She watches with unwavering intensity as the other doctor lets the needle and thread drop from his hands. She visibly bristles at the patronizing expression on David's face, her head tilting aggressively. Bucky kind of wants to watch her hit him. "I'll be back in less than a minute, sergeant. I need a word outside with Dr. Erikson."

"Take your time," Bucky assures, the tension bleeding out of him already. His ribs are leaking, and there's a piece of doctor floss looped through his skin that he's going to have to cut out of himself tomorrow morning. The immoral evaluation of her outfit that his head threw at him is going to eat him alive. Forever. Especially when he's trying to fall asleep for the foreseeable future.

All things considered, though, he feels fan-fucking-tastic.

David still looks somewhat shell-shocked, and there's real insult starting to creep into his posture, but the guy doesn't argue. He follows Ava back out of the room, not bothering with a goodbye in Bucky's direction. When the door closes behind them, his super hearing picks up on Ava reaming David about prioritizing patients before ego. She goes into detail about the deep shit he'll be in with her if he keeps ignoring her written orders, long before it ever gets him fired. She tacks on why her anger should scare him a hell of a lot more than the idea of that. Then she instructs him to keep his damn hands off her patients and get back to the intake desk.

The protective streak makes Bucky's chest feel warm, a half-smile pulling at his lips. She's a handful, alright. One he'd give anything to be brave enough to send flowers to.

Ava is calm, cool, and collected when she leans back in through the doorframe, hanging off it with a soft smile. "Hiya, stranger. I hear you picked a fight in my motherland today."

"I hear it has an arms dealer problem. I wanted to see if I could help." He gestures down at the needle swinging from his ribs without looking at it. "Not all Canadians are as welcoming as you, turns out."

"Eh?" she fires back, hamming up the accent. "Wellll, I'm not about to let a few cranky arms dealers tarnish our reputation. What do you say you push that bandage against your new bragging rights, and we head for my office?"

Licking his bottom lip nervously, he tries to give her a confident smile. "You were busy with something."

"Not too busy for my favorite popsicle." One eyebrow raises sternly. "You are not allowed to tell Steve I'm playing favorites." God, she's cute when she tries to deflect. It's never worked. At least not on him.

"That's—" Shit, where to even find the fucking words for her. "You don't have to do this. Go out of your way like this. I don't mind getting patched up by random medics. Comes with the job."

Her smile turns impish. "That's cool and all, but I mind when people ignore basic ethics just to have a story about stitching up an Avenger. If you need to tell yourself I'm using you as fuel for a workplace pissing contest, go for it. Whatever gets you off that biobed." She leans back, leaving the door open wide behind her. "Come on; I can't stand the way they organize these damn shelves. I wouldn't patch you up in here even if you did pay me. Next time, head for my office first."

Bucky does as she ordered, pushing the surgical towel she packed for him against his side, not minding the sting in the least. He swallows down the point that, by every definition there is, he's not an Avenger. "I'll follow you, doc."

—

"Alright," Wyatt plops his hands down on the glass of the holo, his expression determined. His tight curls bounce with the motion, making their resident gumdrop look adorable, even through the discomfort. "Let's get to dissectin' this cacophony. All in one go, preferably, so I don't feel like yackin' up my lunch two days runnin'."

Ava's head tilts sympathetically. "Oh, honey, tell me you didn't—"

His hand comes up, with his index finger pointed to the ceiling. "Nope. But I got close a couple'a times thinkin' about this." He mutters several things under his breath about creepy Nazi bastards while he pulls up the raw data from Bucky's implants. "All the more reason to get it the hell over with."

"A whole day of digging through coded war crimes," Hannah deadpans quietly, raising a steaming mug to her lips. "I'm glad we get the fun assignments."

"You'd ditch us if we didn't," Ava jokes. She scrolls through the sergeant's file absentmindedly on her tablet, reviewing the vitals added just a few hours ago. He actually came to medical. For something as minor as a field injury. Of his own volition.

"Mmm. I don't know. It's pretty fun watching a brain move like Jell-O. You might have been able to convince me to stick around just for that."

SHIELD's primary system makes a blaring noise of disagreement as Wyatt loads the main file structure. He frowns, looking over at Ava with concern. "Its askin' for administrative override."

"Heeey, that's that thing Tony says I'm not supposed to abuse. That's probably not a good sign." Ava pushes her glasses further up the bridge of her nose and leans over to get a look at the error. "JAR, I'd like some reassurance we're not about to trigger an ancient LoJack if you wouldn't mind advising here."

"There are safeguards in place for importing code with an unknown source," JARVIS reports in. The warning on the screen is dismissed, presumably by him, and a new window comes up. A log of the programming in Bucky's cybernetics going through digital quarantine loads rapidly, with line after line being highlighted in red and labeled HYDRA Suspected. "I will process them for you. One moment."

"We have to clean the Nazi code before we can beat it to death," Hannah mumbles against the rim of her mug. "I think I kind of like that."

"Please, Hannie, I'm hangin' on by the skin'a my teeth here." Scrubbing his hands over his face, Wyatt groans exhaustedly. He drags them down slowly, giving Hannah a pleading look over the tops of his fingers. "You know I'm always here for supportin' you—"

"I'm aware." The ex-marine's clipped tone makes Ava snort and look back down at her tablet. They both know stopping him now isn't going to cut off the word vomit.

Wyatt's hands thunk back down onto the glass. "I'm so proud'a ya, y'know that—" And there's the thickening of the accent.

"I know."

Ava's eyes skim over the list of everything detected in Bucky's wound, locking on the word leather in particular. Today was her first look at his work gear—she's got a feeling he doesn't call it a uniform—in person. It was hard to keep professional in front of six and a half feet of Hi, how are ya? wrapped up in that much heavy black. The sounds that his vest made when he dropped it on the coffee table— Jesus. He's got to be packing enough in there to arm a small country.

"All's I'm sayin' is that if I have to hear about murder right now, I might actually upchu—"

"Please don't."

Ava's too scared to ask what's in the sergeant's pants for a multitude of reasons. Professionalism is lower on the list than it probably should be. It's a shame, too. He's downright hilarious when he lets himself talk. There's not a doubt in her mind that he'd come up with something unbearably good—and unwaveringly dry—in response to the loaded question.

"A'right then. We're in agreement. No bad thoughts today. We go in like—like excavators, right? With our helmets and our 'lil pickaxes, and we get what we need so we can—" The way he cuts himself off makes Ava look back up in concern. She finds the most horrified expression on Wyatt's face. "That—ah shit, that didn't come out all that right. That was mean, wannit? Insensitive. I'm not tryin' to belittle what the sergeant's been through."

"You weren't belittling anything," Ava assures, reaching out to rub his arm. "I think he'd be the first one to race you to a fossil joke about this."

"You'll tell 'im I'm takin' this serious, won't ya—"

A small chuckle escapes before she can stop it. "Wyatt, sweetheart, it's not like he heard you—"

"You take your pills today, Combs?" Hannah's calm question makes the gumdrop freeze in place. She blows on her coffee, taking a small sip. "If you say you don't remember, I'm going to—"

Wyatt snaps his fingers, his expression shifting to relief. "I didn't, and I remember why, too." He rolls his chair back with a sudden push, aiming for his desk. He reaches out before the chair finishes the trip to grab his patch-covered messenger bag. "One'a the cats got int'a my coat closet; dumbass got stuck on a shelf for reasons I'm still not real clear on." He pops open his medication bottle, tossing a pill into his mouth with a level of dexterity that makes her jealous. "The hollerin' was s'damn loud, I thought the landlord was gonna come knockin'."

"Which one was it?" Ava asks. "Not the new kitten?"

"No, no—Juno's been'a dream. It was Galileo again. I love that furry little bastard, but sometimes he can drive me nutty ." He pauses to take a swig from another glossy vacation mug. Today's is advertising a campground Ava's never heard of that's the best in the Rockies, according to the swirling font. "I got new pictures of Juno if you want 'em, though."

"Yes, please," Ava confirms happily. Holding the teacup-sized ball of fur made her whole month when he last brought Juno in. Hannah ended up hogging most of the cuddle time, but the sound of little meows filling the day had been enough to make up for it.

Wyatt pulls his phone from his back pocket and brings it around to hook up to the holo. The system dings with the sound of a successful transfer after a moment. He loads a collection of new photos, zeroing in on one of Juno clawing her way up a window curtain—

The power to the lab shuts off with a loud, electric click. Everything plunges into darkness with the privacy setting on the glass walls keeping the sun out. It comes back on before Ava can react, the building's primary system switching to the emergency power grid. She and Wyatt lock eyes in panic.

"Oooh man, boss, did I just—"

"I'm sure you didn't," Ava comforts, trying to push down her own panic. It helps that she's heard Tony rambling about the work he's put into making this place indestructible. "JAR?"

There's no response from the AI. She trades another nervous glace with Wyatt.

"I know it was probably the Nazi shit, but I'm hoping it was the cats," Hannah says, sounding sincere. "I feel like that'll make a much better story."

"Oh my god, did I break JAR?" Wyatt looks between them frantically. "How often does he back up his servers? Did I kill'a piece'a JAR?!"

"I have not been murdered," the AI confirms after nearly a minute of being gone. "The safeguards reported a false positive regarding the programming of Sergeant Barnes' cybernetics. It has been handled."

Ava gives the hologram wall of code a warry look. "Handled by you?" There's a suspicion building in her gut around his phrasing, one that she's not planning on letting out of her teeth.

"Mr. Stark has a protocol in place that cuts off my servers in the event of any irregular activity. Given the nature of the programming's origin, the system is designed to er on the side of caution."

"That's a really fancy way of dancing around the point, JAR." She's trying to stay civil about this. It's not an easy venture, and she's pretty sure it's not translating at all. Even she can hear the frustration in her voice. "How about we cut the shit, and you tell me what the false positive was."

"There are automated routines running for Sergeant Barnes' implants. They are not harmful; I've taken the liberty of checking them personally now that they've been cleared through quarantine. I am creating a stable update to forward to—"

"How long have they not been harmful, JARVIS?"

Hannah sits up from her relaxed position at the avoidance of their favorite nickname for the AI. Wyatt's brows pull in nervously, his eyes never leaving Ava. They both know exactly what she's digging at.

There's a long hesitation from JARVIS. Short by normal social standards but an eternity for a sentience with quantum processors. "There is not currently a risk posed within the Sergeant's—"

Ava's out of her chair and halfway to the door before he even finishes the omission. Fueled by some of the most intense rage she's ever felt in her life, she marches out on swift feet. She's going to kill him. She's going to string him up—maybe hang him off the side of the tower.

America's fucking Sweetheart, her ass. America's Doomed Liar is a lot more like it.

"Where is he," Ava nearly growls, still stalking down the halls, leaving the medical wing in a hurry. "JARVIS, I know you're still listening; you tell me where that puffed-up, hypocritical—oooh , you tell me where Rogers is right the fuck now. And then you tell me where Stark is—"

"Dr. Ryder, I know you're not inclined to believe this at the moment, but I assure you—"

"You're right; I'm not inclined to do that at all." She takes a deep breath as she passes through the front entrance, slowing herself to a stop. With genuine effort, she pushes down her anger. "I don't want to keep yelling at you. I don't like doing it in the first place. If you don't want to tell me where they are, I'll find them myself."

Ava heads for the elevator to do just that. She's not expecting a response as she pounds the side of her fist against the button for the Datacrux's floor. It's likely to be her best bet to find any of them. There's not a chance in hell that she's letting her team dedicate any more time to this until she gets some fucking explanations.

Halfway along the ride up, the light around the button goes dim. A flash of anger rises in her until she sees the one for the executive level illuminate.

"Mr. Stark is not currently in the tower, but you will find Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes debriefing in the Situation Room," JARVIS informs her over the elevator's intercom, making the SHEILD agents around her pretend not to look over. She's tempted to ask them if it's the outfit.

"Thank you, JAR," she offers as an olive branch. Regardless of what's truly going on here, she doubts the AI is all that comfortable with the subject.

"You're welcome, Ava."

She's only been to this part of the tower once before. Tony dragged her up to the Avenger's balcony for a party after her divorce was first finalized. That's about the extent of her experience with this section. It's not hard to find her way with everything denoted like it is in the rest of the building.

The palm of her hand smacks against the door marked Situation Room, and she shoves it open aggressively. Both super soldiers, the Falcon, Black Widow, and a scattered group of SHIELD agents stare back at her in surprise. It doesn't slow her down any.

Ava points an irate finger at Steve in the uneasy silence of the room. "Unless New York just caught fire, you and I are about to have a very blunt conversation, captain."

"Hiya, doc." Bucky, unsurprisingly, is the only one in the room smiling at her while she glares daggers at Captain America. He's still in his not-uniform. There's still blood on it. The charm he's throwing her way reminds her that they won't want an audience.

"I'm going to ask the rest of you to leave," she continues, but her eyes stay on the sergeant as her finger lowers. "I don't think you'll want to be here for this, Bucky."

"What makes you think I don't wanna watch you beat up my best friend?" He leans back in his chair, his hands coming up to rest on his stomach as his smile deepens.

"Can I stay?" Sam asks, his voice eager. It's a damn shame this is how she gets to meet him. She doubts the Falcon has any clue about unethical research.

"Come on," Natasha insists with a serene nod in Ava's direction, grabbing Sam's shirt to drag him up from his chair. "You heard her."

"I—hey!" Steve looks so insulted as he watches his friends and various coworkers abandon him with zero hesitation. "You're just gonna—I don't even know what I did!"

"Neither do I, but I am very ready to hear about it," Bucky assures Ava, not an increasingly distressed Steve.

Ava taps her foot impatiently as the room clears out, leaving her alone with the super soldiers. She ignores the nerves radiating off of one of them and focuses on the one that looks delighted. "I'm serious. This is about your case. Specifically, the work HYDRA was trying to finish."

The mirth leaves Bucky almost entirely. His posture doesn't adjust from its reclined position. "Alright. Tell me what's got you livid about it."

"Steve here made me a promise that was broken in my lab a few minutes ago."

Steve's eyebrows pull in with confusion. "Which promise? Wait—a few minutes ago—Is this about that blackout? Ava, catch me up here; what the hell is—"

"You swore to me that the intention of HYDRA—at least where Bucky's case is concerned—was to make an army of super soldiers, nothing more." She's letting him process this one step at a time. It'll make yelling at him for lying a lot easier. That, and she's honestly worried the technophobe doesn't understand the gravity of the situation.

"I—" Steve hesitates, and she watches the switch to tactical assessment come over him. It's startling to see it directed at her from a face that isn't Bucky's. "As far as I know, that was the intention."

"Yeah? You're sure about that? You're sure you're not omitting something pretty fucking important to my job, Steven?"

"JARVIS, what was the blackout?" Bucky questions at half the volume he started at when she first came in.

Ava points at the sergeant insistently. "See? I'm guessing he doesn't even know, but he's sure as hell already on the right track."

"There was an incident regarding the coding found in your implants, Sergeant Barnes. It has been handled. I have prepared an update to their systems whenever you're ready to undergo a transfer."

"As your doctor, I'm ordering it. We can go back to my office after I'm finished ripping your friend a new asshole for lying to my face." Her eyebrows lower at Bucky in indignation. She's doing this for him, but that doesn't mean she's going to let him off the hook if he knew. "We should probably figure out if I need to do the same to you before we get there."

"Hey, hang on now." Steve raises one hand, likely to try to calm her, but changes his mind and puts it back under the table. She's guessing someone's finally clued in the out-of-time man about that practice making women want to throw something. At his head. "We might not always be able to talk about classified information—something you agreed to, I might add—but I've never lied about HYDRA's intent as far as I comprehend it. I've been very careful to hold up that end of our deal."

"Let me tell you how I know, for a fact, that someone involved in this case is doing a piss-poor job of lying to me about it. Since you haven't quite figured out modern tech, I'm going to try to keep it simple." Ava points a far less aggressive, more instructing finger at Bucky's arm. "In order for that hunk of metal to work, it needs to be programmed. The hardware needs software that can tell it how to read brain signals. A few decades ago, some Nazis sat in a room and wrote a bunch of code for that software. That's what was supposed to be in Bucky's implants. That's all that was supposed to be in Bucky's implants."

"Wait—what the hell else is in them?" The flicker of fear that creeps into Bucky's expression breaks her heart. There's not a doubt in her mind that he could sell her on any lie he wants to with his mind set on it. That's the point of infiltrators like him.

But Ava's willing to bet everything she's got in this world that the fear in him at the moment is genuine. He doesn't know. And it makes her feel awful.

"Given the size of your implants, I'm guessing not much," she tries to reassure. "We can always purge whatever is there later. However, if the code were as simple as 'read this signal, do this thing,' it wouldn't have been flagged as untouchable by Tony's security measures. The ones put in specifically to prevent JARVIS from being corrupted." She crosses her arms over her chest in exasperation, her eyes moving to one of the small security cameras on the ceiling. "Would you like to explain to the captain what kind of code it would take to accomplish that, JARVIS?"

There's another human-length moment of hesitation from the AI in response. "It would take adapting code."

"The part he's holding back—definitely because he's under orders not to break SHIELD protocol—is that something has to be driving the adaptation. There is such a thing as self-adapting code; that would absolutely explain it. If we weren't talking about something made in the 40s when HYDRA needed entire warehouses just to house a few terabytes of data." She glances over at Bucky. "While I'm sure the agents you scare the piss out of would disagree, your head isn't actually big enough to hold that much."

"You flirtin' with me to stop the panic or to apologize for not being Canadian for a minute?"

Ava blinks in surprise, the slightest hint of heat coming up the sides of her neck. That—she hadn't been—well. Steve's head turns to him, his eyebrows raising in mild shock.

Bucky clears his throat, then tries for a quiet chuckle, his eyes floating between her and the table. "Sorry—it's this damn room. Puts me in sergeant mode, makes me—let's get back to yelling at Steve."

"Thanks, asshole, I appreciate—"

"What makes you think I won't yell at you just because I'm Canadian?" Ava counters, finally recovering. "You trying to stereotype me, Barnes?"

The relief that comes off of Bucky is palpable. "I'd go for the hippie thing first if I was trying to do that."

"Didn't you sleep through the McCarthy era?"

"HYDRA gave me the long and short of it between naps."

Her hand flies up to her face to block a loud snort. Damn him, this is serious. But she's not about to begrudge him the gallows humor. She lowers it again while he smirks at her. "Do you mind? I'm trying to make an angry but valid point here."

"About a bunch of code that my head isn't big enough for," he continues for her dryly, one hand coming off his stomach to gesture up at it.

Ava sighs, the amusement from getting sidetracked by the Brooklyn heartstopper fading fast. "Not big enough by the standards of the 40s. By today's standards?" Her head tilts to the side sadly, readying herself to watch that fear in him get more substantial. "You tell me, Buck. Did the Nazis work in the mindset of single projects, or did they work in the mindset of generations that would lead a global empire?"

The words are the last piece to complete the puzzle in Bucky's mind; Ava can see it happen in his eyes. The expression of horror it yanks out of him will haunt her for the rest of her days. "Zola."

It's said in a whisper, and Ava's not even sure what the word is.

It takes Steve longer to reach whatever conclusion Buckys come to, and he looks resistant to the idea at first. "No, that's... no—Buck, you've been to what's left. You know what it took—"

"That's the point she's making, stupid. Look at how small everything's gotten." He stops, and Ava doesn't miss the sight of a hard swallow. "It makes sense. Think about it. It makes sense. They took care of the car until they could find an engine that fit. I was the prototype. Or—was going to be, at least."

The comparison—the one he's using on himself—is revolting. Accurate, but astoundingly revolting. She pushes past it, leaning down to tap a condescending nail on the table. "Hi, there. Still here. Still looking for some answers. What the hell is Zola?"

With Steve watching him like a hawk, Bucky breathes a long, tired sigh. "Not what. Who."

"I can fill her in," Steve offers to him quickly. "You don't have to do this."

"Oh, I'm not doing shit. She's going to do it all." Bucky locks eyes with Ava, his expression passive. Having the Winter Soldier himself that focused in on her makes her breath catch involuntarily. "How's your Russian, doc?"

"I don't speak a word of it. Do I need to for this?"

"No, I'm sure you've got plenty of ways to translate anything you feel like reading. You should look up doveryai, no proveryai while you're at it." He leans forward, resting his arms on the table. His eyes never once move away from hers. "JARVIS, transfer a copy of my archive access to Dr. Ryder. Full permissions. And the next time she asks you a hard question, you don't have to bullshit her. Tell her to call me."

—

April 6th, 2015

"I want you to bring me with you next time."

"No."

"Is that a no because you do not agree or because you are afraid of mother?"

"Both."

Shuri frowns at the security feed, ignoring the quiet laughter she can hear coming from Nakia on the other end. "Coward."

The camera mounted on T'Challa's dashboard shakes as he turns it back to his face, his expression annoyed. "Say that to my—"

"Coward."

T'Challa rolls his eyes and turns the camera back around as Nakia laughs harder. He will be mopey now, for sure. "I am not taking you to stare at a soldier's office with us."

"Why not?"

"To start with, I refuse to be trapped in a car with you for that amount of time."

"You should be so lucky! Now, what is the real reason."

"What part of royal family do you not—"

"You get to go to these things."

"And when you leave your lab long enough to learn to use the spears of your foremothers, that privilege can extend to you."

"Okoye is always ready to teach you, Shuri," Nakia offers up diplomatically.

"I do not need a spear to sit in a car annoying my brother," Shuri argues. They always do this to her. She is tired of it.

"You do not need to sit in a car annoying your bother at all." The moping has already started. She can hear it in T'Challa's voice.

"Fine. I will go to Ava's house and stay there while—"

"No."

Shuri slams her hands down on her desk, making the various instruments on it rattle precariously. "She is my family, too!"

There's silence on the other end in the wake of her anger. Then the camera turns again, this time by Nakia's hand. She doesn't stop the spin until it's pointed to show her and T'Challa. He does not look as annoyed anymore. He looks guilty.

Nakia gives her a sympathetic smile. "No one is trying to take that from you. We are only trying to keep you safe. We do not know how far Alec is willing to take things."

"And I am not willing to present the man with more temptations of power," T'Challa adds, the guilt on his face shifting to resignation. "It is not simply because I am afraid of our mother. I agree with her. And with our father. Alec Harlow is a man that is losing everything. That is a powerful motivator, Shuri."

"I am not afraid of that spineless demon," Shuri insists angrily. "I could handle him myself, thank you very much."

"Half the school children in Wakanda could," Nakia mocks under her breath.

She gets a stern look from T'Challa before he focuses it on Shuri. "It is not his strength we are concerned with. It is the allies he can call upon at any time. Men with strength and resources that we do not wish to deal with."

Some of the fight leaves her. Not much, but it does ebb. Her brother might be an idiot, but he is right about this. Ava would not be this afraid for no reason. She has been trying to disguise it when Nakia brings her for visits, which is how Shuri knows it is serious.

"I hate that man, brother." The word is far too inadequate. The contempt she holds for the worm who put fear in the heart of her favorite mad scientist feels immeasurable.

"As do I. As do we all." T'Challa smiles at her finally, his face softening. "I promise to bring you to hit him if he is ever arrested. That is when I will deem it safe enough."

"How many times?" she chases after quickly. "Can I bring a weapon?"

"You can bring exactly one weapon. Can you guess what it is?" The smile turns sarcastic as he reaches out and turns the camera back around to face Alec's office window.

"I do not need a spear to break that man."

"No, you need it so I can stop being lectured by Okoye for enabling your avoidance of tradition."

"That will not help. She wishes for me to sit through her lessons. I would just bring the spear to hit him over the head with."

Nakia laughs, the sound light and soothing. "I am surprised you did not go straight for the idea of skewering him."

Tilting her head down at her desk, Shuri hesitates. She picks up the ridiculous coffee mug Ava got her, spinning it around in her hands with somber movements.

Ava's last visit had been especially hard to stomach. The woman had looked so... empty as she talked about the start of the divorce. There had been no vengeful joy in her as she told Shuri's father she understood the gravity of the situation. No hard-won victory in her posture. There had only been grief and shame.

Shuri sighs, turning away from the screen to head for her lab's kitchen. She is going to fill the mug with one of the teas that Ava brings her. It will be a nice change from the energy drinks she has been binging. "No. I... I do not wish the man dead. I only wish to see him locked away somewhere he can never smile again."

—author end notes—

there’s one sentence in this chapter that is 14 words long (including contractions) that is the entire foundation of their incoming dom/sub and oh my g o d when i tell you that shit was cathartic to write 😫🤌 some day when this is finished, im gonna write a whole goddamn dissertation on that one sentence and all the narrative shit that tied into it in this fic so help me (YOURE ALLOWED TO GUESS BTW)

anyways, everyone is alive in wakanda bc i said so. and nakia and t’challa are really stupid uber mega important to ava’s backstory

i feel like we’ve all, as a species, Been Through Enough. you can talk my ear off abt anything, but dont talk to me abt the opening of wakanda forever i will Literally Die, i havent cried that hard over the first watch of a movie in so fucking long and i dont think im strong enough for a second. all i ever need for binging is winter soldier and black panther anyhow (FATWS is still growing on me and i only like it so far bc im a sambucky shipper. and a stucky shipper. and a 3 musketeer shipper. and a—i like making buckaroo be in love a lot. lets just. leave it at that). we can stop with the big owies thanks. let me escape to the fictional world where everyone is alive and Nothing Hurts, t h a n k s.

well. okay. some things are gonna hurt in this. probably really super bad too and youre gonna be really really mad at me when it hits. but like. theyre set up for comfort pay off so does it even really count??? i didnt think so, ty for agreeing 😌

ily 💖 tyty for reading 💞 and tyty in advance for yelling at me when i eventually hurt u ❤️🥰 i will understand, its okay, u are entitled to the emotional compensation on that one

#chapter update #good space

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zealoushound · 3 years

Note

Hi hi

As promised I was going to send you a request.

I was wondering if you write something inspired by a song from Halestorm

The song is called Break In.

Looking forward to read your creation 😊❤

Break In

Summary: August Walker unexpectedly meets his soulmate.

Pairing: August Walker x reader/unnamed ofc

Word Count: 2,327 (including lyrics)

Warnings: angst, major character death, blood, brief mentions of nudity, sex/oral sex (not graphic), violence, retaliation

A/N: Inspired by @mary-ann84’s request. I’m sure this didn’t go in the direction you thought it might but I got this idea stuck in my head and I just couldn’t shake it!

Also, I know nothing of the way the CIA works so all this was just floating about in my head, any likeness to anything that actually takes place in the CIA just came from old movies or something.

Disclaimer: Do not copy any part of my material to use as your own. Do not repost my work, or any portions of my work on any site and claim it as your own. Like all my other fics, this was written on my phone and not beta’d.

***

Put your lighter in the air and lead me back home When it's all said and done I'll follow the echoes I hear you night after night calling out my name And I find myself running to meet you I didn't want to escape From the bricks that I lay down

“Welcome to the team.” I heard Erika Sloane saying to the newest group of agents. I joined in at the back of the room. It wasn’t required for us to be there, but I happened to be in the building this time, and it had been years since I’d actually seen them welcoming in new agents. Then I saw her. She was beautiful. Not like any of the other women that worked here. They couldn’t compare to her; she was breathtaking.

I wanted to meet her. I had to. We’d end up working together eventually, right? She was talking to her colleagues by the buffet table when I came up.

“Nice spread they went with today.” They'd held the ceremony early this time so someone was smart enough to elect the catered meal to be breakfast. She nodded politely, smiled. My heart flipped.

“The names Walker by the way,” Not that she’d asked. No one asks. Either they already know or they’re too busy to care.

“Walker? Like the Texas Ranger?” She smiled. God, I want to make her do that again.

“Uh... no.” I smiled back. No one had ever asked me that before. I was just surprised to get a response from her. “August Walker.”

“August? I like it. It definitely suits you.” She said as she looked me over, “Thank God you didn’t say Johnny cause I would have had to leave.”

You are the only one The only one that sees me Trusts me and believes me You are the only one The only one that knows me And in the dark you show me

How did you do it? How did you make me fall in love with you? Why did I let myself fall for you? Lying next to you, feeling your warmth as I watch you sleep, I can’t believe the situation I’ve let myself get into. Two months and I’m in love?

I groan softly, “What is it, Aug?” You shift your position slightly, pressing your naked chest closer to mine, sneaking your hand under my torso from the opposite side to pull me closer.

I’ve noticed you can never have me close enough when we’re alone. It’s strictly professional when we’re on a mission, but as soon as we come home you have your hands all over me. Maybe that’s how you did it. Some sort of magic? Sleight of hand? Voodoo? It doesn’t matter. You have me. All of me, and I don’t mind at all.

“Nothing, baby.” I gently press a kiss to the top of your head. Then I feel soft warm lips fluttering down my ribs, kissing over old scars. Each one with a story that you’ve asked about, or seen take place. Soft lips taking me places that only you can.

Yeah it's perfectly reckless Damn, you leave me defenseless So break in Break in

“I love you.” A confession that wasn’t supposed to leak out. Not here at least, maybe in the comfort of our home. I was just so damned excited. You were radiant.

“Oh really now, Walker?” We’d just completed another successful mission. Your face was ecstatic. Our teammates coming up to greet us, shake hands with the ones who brought in the bad guys. Only two more, and we’d finally be done.

I grinned at you, watching you intently, “Yeah, really.” We’d been dating for months, nearly a year, just no time felt good enough. We’d grown comfortable in love, we’d known it without saying it.

I wrapped my arms around you in front of everyone, you looked at me with shock, and happiness playing in your gaze. I’ve never been one for public displays of affection. The room fell silent, or I blocked out the noise, I’m not sure. Linda, the eldest comms lady on the team let out a little gasp of adoration as I brushed your hair back. “I love you. I’ve loved you since the day I met you.”

You wrapped your arms around my neck, holding the back of my neck. “I love you too, Walker.” You guided me, not so gently, to kiss you. The teeth playing at my bottom lip told me I was in for a treat later.

You let me fall apart without letting go Then you pick up the pieces and you make me whole I didn't want to escape From the bricks that I laid down

The next mission was almost a disaster. Three out of the six of us didn’t make it back. “We’re all prepared to die in this line of work. I just can’t get used to the idea that I may force you to come home without me one day.” You were on the balcony of the hotel we were staying in. Your hair gently moving in the breeze.

You looked like you’d seen better days. There were bruises covering your left thigh, you’d caught your right leg on a fence they’d cut running from the warehouse. You sucked your teeth applying alcohol to your wound. Your stomach was turning purple from where they’d hit you, trying to get information from you. Your lip was swollen and busted. The cut across your nose had stopped bleeding, and your eyes had dark circles forming underneath.

“I want you to retire.” I said softly, you looked up angrily.

“August.” You warned.

I kept on. “I want to have a family with you, I want to marry you. I would really hope you’d want to be alive for all that.” You laughed, and shook your head.

“We all gotta die, Walker. I’m not quitting. If I go, I go, but I wanna do it on my terms.” You had accepted the possible consequences long before I had. “How’d you feel if I told you, Hot Shot August Walker, to hang up the towel, hmm?” You had a point. “Now, marry me if you want, but I'm not quitting until I want to. Or you put a baby in me. Whichever comes first.”

“Oh is that a challenge?” I grinned at you.

“Obviously.” You came down from your perch, and with one finger to my shoulder, pushed me back onto the bed. “Also, the mustache?” I figured you’d hate it when I tried to grow it out, just seeing what it would look like. “Stays. That is as long as I get free mustache rides anytime I want?”

“Oh angel,” I was instantly hard, “you just say the word.” I helped her climb up, and into position.

You are the only one The only one that sees me Trusts me and believes me You are the only one The only one that knows me And in the dark you show me Yeah it's perfectly reckless Damn you leave me defenseless So break in

We got married as soon as her face had healed. She said her grandmother would never forgive her if she took wedding photos looking like that.

You were the most beautiful bride I’d ever seen. You’d found this simple little white dress in a vintage store on a mission once. You told me on our wedding night that you’d known you were going to marry me so you’d been keeping it till the time came.

I vowed to love you the rest of my life; to carry you through whatever life threw at us. I vowed to protect you.

I broke that promise.

It was supposed to be our last mission. We were going to take some time off. We were going to try, and start our family. We’d been married two years, you’d been asking me to give you a baby so what better time than after this mission?

We should have started before. If you were pregnant you wouldn’t be here. You wouldn’t be dying in my arms.

Why didn’t I give you what you wanted? Why didn’t I make you stay with me on this mission? These questions will haunt me as long as I live. Just like your voice begging me to stay.

And take everything I have Until there is nothing left Until it's just your voice in my head And when the lights come on You see me as I am You're still inside me

Our team of eight was broken down to two teams of four. You went left, I went right. We were supposed to cut them off in the middle. Take down the boss, and leave. It was an ambush. Someone had tipped them off that we were coming. The boss wasn’t even there.

I could hear the shots from the other side of the building. I could hear shouting. I tried so hard to listen for your voice. I wadded my way through the people shooting at us. I knew the layout of this building, and my team had taken the more dangerous route. I could hear my team being picked off behind me, but none of them mattered. Only you.

I made it through the last door as I heard a call go over the comms. “A Team is down.” A man's voice. No. I ran harder than I’d ever ran. You had to be ok. Wounded I can handle. She has to be ok.

He called out again “B Team, I need your status. Tell me you're alive at least.” I could tell the man was weak, probably dying, and I was going to radio back to tell him help was coming, but he came over again. “August... if you can hear this you need to come quickly. She’s been shot. It’s... it’s not good, August.”

I slid around the corner. The sound of my shoes echoing down the long hallway. There were bodies littering the floor. I called out your name. My broken voice echoing back to me. There was an eerie silence when the echo stopped. Then I heard you.

“Aug?” You weakly reached out for me. My heart pounded in my ears. No.

“No, no, no, no.” I clambered over bodies and weapons. Reaching you I assessed the situation. Years of training trying to kick in, but I couldn’t make sense of all the steps in my head. You were shot in the lower right quadrant. Apply pressure. I can’t stop the bleeding. It was profusely pouring out of you. There was a voice in my head, a nagging, consistent voice, ‘she’s not going to make it’. The fuck she isn’t. If I could just stop the bleeding.

You reached for me again, touching my face. “August. Sweetheart, look at me. You can stop, honey.” No I can’t. I promised you. “August.” You said as firmly as you could. I stopped. The bleeding didn’t. I looked into the only eyes I’ve ever loved. My chin shaking, trying my hardest not to cry, failing miserably. “Hold me, August. Please? Stay with me.”

I picked you up, and held you to me. Cradling your head against my chest. “August, I love you.”

“I love you. I’ll love you forever.” You blinked slowly. “Don’t leave me. Please. You can’t leave me.” I was begging.

“It’s ok, Aug. I’m ok. I love you.” Your breaths were becoming more, and more shallow. I leaned down to gently kiss your lips.

I whispered to you, “I love you”. The last coming out as a broken sob as I watched the light fade from your eyes. I looked to see no rise, and fall in your chest. Your hand slowly loosened its grip on my arm, slipping to the floor. “NO!” I called your name but you were gone.

I was the only one to survive that night. Only I don’t think I did. Something inside me changed. I’m different. I’m not the man you met, the guy you fell in love with. I’m cold. I’m dead inside. I’m nothing without you.

Sloane tried to pull me from the mission after your funeral. Saying this was too personal now. I wouldn’t be able to react rationally. “I’m going to find him, Sloane. With or without a team. With or without your permission. I’m going to kill him. I’m gonna make him suffer.”

She knew I’d find him before she could so she kept me on. She knew she shouldn’t have but she knew if anyone could find the bastard it would be the man seeking vengeance. The man with nothing else to live for. I would hunt for this man without stopping for as long as it took.

It took three years. I’d moved up in ranks. I’d become ruthless. The Hammer, Sloane began calling me. I only cared about one thing. Killing the man responsible for killing you. Then suddenly he slipped up. Someone spotted him in a faraway country. I was there before day break.

Finding him. Torturing him. Watching him slowly bleed to death. Killing him. Brought me no peace. I knew it wouldn’t. I needed to be cleansed. The world needed to be cleansed. There needs to be peace. I’ve suffered for so long, there should be peace now.

I’ll bring peace to the world. I can do that. They just have to suffer for a while before. A baptism by fire. Yes. Because there has never been peace without first a great suffering, the greater the suffering, the greater the peace. Yes.

Put your lighter in the air and lead me back home

***

Tag list: (As always if you want on or off please let me know!)

@foodieforthoughts @wendimydarling @hope-to-hell @littlefreya @nuggsmum @killjoy-assbutt-1112 @summersong69 @oddduckthatgirl @fallenangelbb @winter2112rose @christhickevans @ladycavillry @mary-ann84 @twhstuckylover @cavills-little-princess @luclittlepond @beck07990 @eldarwen333 @littlewrenofrivia @viking-raider

#zealoushound writes #break in #august walker fic #august walker #august walker angst #300 followers #300 followers ask #henry cavill fanfic #zealoushound answers

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msmarvelouswinchester · 4 years

Text

No Strings Attached

Summary - Some words are better remained unspoken but not always. Sometimes it better to just confess.

Pairing - Jensen x Reader, past Jensen x OFC Sarah

Warning - Fluff, angst-ish, secret relationship, smut (18+), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), oral sex (female receiving), swearing, insecurities, mentions of betrayal.

Word Count - 3178

Square Filled - Rockstar!Jensen ( @spndeanbingo ); Confessions ( @anyfandomgoesbingo )

A/N - This is written for my challenge "Chan's 500 followers challenge".

Request by @deanwanddamons - Hey hon! Huge congratulations on 500 followers! You deserve it 💞 Could you write ‘3. How was I such an idiot, to believe that you, out of all people, could ever love me?’ Jensen and Y/N 😘 (Hope you like it and sorry it got so long)

Beta'd by the lovely @miss-nerd95 (she is such a sweetheart! Thank you so much)

The beautiful spn dividers by @talesmaniac89

I love the Ackles fam, but for the sake of this fic, Jensen is single and was never married to Danneel.

Your eyes were focused on the man on stage, heart beating loudly as you watched his every movement the way his thick fingers were wrapped around the mic, that little smirk on his face as he sang along to the Eric Church’s song. Your head full of thoughts about what his fingers and mouth could do to you.

“Damn you, really turn me on, paintin' your toenails pink.” He sent you a sideway glance, giving you a knowing smile as he sang the lines. His tongue peeked out of his mouth as it swept over his lips, his action so casual yet it sent the audience into a frenzy. The song enriched by his voice was enough to make you squirm and the memories from last night were not helping you at all.

You should have seen this coming ever since the moment you had stepped into the green room that day, right before the Saturday Night Live. You had smirked to yourself when you saw Jensen's eyes slightly widening at the sight of you in the tight little skirt that you had paired with a see-through button down and matching bra, as you had walked up to him with a glass of wine in your hand.

A blush had crept up your neck when you had felt his eyes all over your body. You had taken a seat right beside him, just to rile him up a bit more. You knew he couldn't even kiss you because no one in the cast knew about your hidden rendezvous. You had furtively glanced at the actor beside you. With one brow raised slightly, Jensen was staring right at you.

“You want to go out there?” You jumped at Richard’s voice, pulling you out from your sinful thoughts. “I know you can sing.”

“You sure? Jensen has set the stage on fire. I don't think I have enough fuel to match that level.” You chuckled, looking out towards the stage as the said man wrapped an arm around Rob’s shoulder, jamming out to the music of the guitar. You hadn't even noticed when he had switched to another song because you were too busy staring at how his biceps flexed under his black shirt with every small movement of his arm. A puff of air left your mouth as he hit a high note in the song.

“Trust me, he will definitely not mind.” Richard winked.

“Um-thanks Speight, but I'd rather stay here and enjoy the show.” You politely declined Richard’s request. Tonight, the stage was a dangerous arena.

You took in a sharp breath as the last notes of the song strung in the air, the crowd erupting into a loud cheer as Rob struck the last chord on his guitar. “Thank you!” Jensen gave a dramatic bow, waving his hands in the air as he was exiting the stage which caused an uproar in the room. Handing over the mic to Rob, the actor left the stage.

“Enjoyed the show, sweetheart?” A smug smile tugged on his lips as he stalked towards you, the look on his face making you go weak in the knees.

“You put on quite a show out there.” You said, placing a hand on his chest.

“What can I say? I am a good performer. There is nothing better than seeing the audience satisfied,” Jensen replied and leaned towards you, bringing his mouth near your ear. “And then leave them begging for more.” Your heart was beating wildly making you gasp as his teeth grazed past your earlobe, a shiver running down your body to your core.

“Jackles!” Jared’s booming voice made you two jump apart. “We are going out for drinks, wanna join?”

“Yeah! Go ahead, I'll...uh-catch up. Y/N’s coming with me too.”

“Uh-okay!” Jared hesitated a bit before he rejoined the awfully jolly group of actors, making their way towards the bar a few blocks away from the convention.

“Ackles, anyone caught your eye yet?” Jared questioned his tv brother, which piqued your interest.

“So, I'm picking up random girls from the bar now to get my dick wet? Jare-” Jensen looked at his best friend with a look of pure disgust in his eyes.

“Jensen, that's not what I-”

“Now, don't start with your relationship crap. You know I don't do relationships anymore.” It wasn't like you didn't expect him to say this, but deep down it still hurt to hear him say that there was no one special in his life. You tuned out the rest of his words as you reminisced about your first night together.

The relationship between you and Jensen was complicated. A few months ago, you had hooked up in his Vancouver apartment after a drunken night and that had started the whole friends with benefit thing. No one knew that you two were sleeping together. It was something you two had decided to keep between yourselves because it wasn't like you were in a relationship, you two just fucked to relieve some tension. Or so you thought. You didn't even realise when you had fallen head over heels for the man but you had managed to keep your mouth shut.

Your eyes roamed around the room until it landed on Jensen to see him staring intently at you. An involuntary shiver ran down your body under his strong gaze. You left your seat and went to sit beside him at which he was taken by surprise.

“Miss me already?” He smirked, an eyebrow raised at you.

“Don’t shave.” You said.

“That doesn't answer my que-” the words got stuck in his throat as you placed your hand on his thigh. Jensen stiffened under your touch but thankfully the action went unnoticed by everyone else.

“What d'you think you're doin’?” He asked, his southern accent slipping through.

“Nothing.” You smirked as you hand travelled upwards towards his crotch but no one could see your little teasing session underneath the table. Jensen swallowed thickly as he fidgeted in his seat, trying to adjust his pants and to remove your hand but you were adamant. You coyly palmed his growing excitement as he sucked in a breath.

“Don't challenge me, Y/N/N.” He growled into your ear, your own panties were now ruined. “I can take you right here, right now. You want me to do that, to teach you a lesson for being a bad girl?”

“Where's your self control, Ackles?” You mocked.

Without answering your question, he suddenly stood up. “Y/N’s not feeling so hot. I think it's best if she goes back to the hotel.” Jensen told the cast. You licked your lips when you saw his dominant side jumping out.

“What ‘bout ya?” Jared drunkenly asked.

“She is in the room right beside me and it's too late. I'm going back to the hotel with her. I'm just being a gentleman.” Jensen said, trying to sound as convincing as possible. Everyone said their goodbyes and if anyone suspected anything, they didn't speak up.

A few minutes after leaving the bar, Clif pulled up in front of the bar. You and Jensen slipped into the backseat. That fifteen minutes drive felt like the longest time you had ever been in a car. The tension was so thick between, it could have been cut with a knife. Jensen did his best to restrain himself, so much so he barely looked at you because even Clif wasn't in on your little secret and you wanted to keep it that way.

You had barely closed the door before you felt Jensen’s hands all over your body. He abandoned his leather jacket before pushing you against the wall.

“I wanted to rip off your clothes the moment you walked into the room.” He murmured as he pinned you to the wall, kissing you roughly. “Do you have any idea how hard you made me tonight? Huh?” He breathed into the skin of your neck, making you whimper.

“Jay-uh, you were a t-tease as well. You sang that song tonight o-on purpose.” You breathed out. A gasp left your lips when Jensen hungrily ripped off your shirt and skirt leaving you in nothing but your bra and panties. You hooked your legs behind his back as he effortlessly picked you up and took you to the bed, putting you down before he climbed on top of you. Impatiently, you tugged at the hem of his t-shirt at which Jensen smirked and pulled the shirt over his head before throwing it on the floor. You took in the perfectly toned muscles of his chest and stomach like you were seeing him naked for the very first time, which of course wasn't, when he put a finger under your chin, making you look up at him.

“Like what you see?” He smirked as your hands travelled up to feel his hard pecs. Jensen grabbed your hand and moved them away from his chest as he leaned down to leave a trail of kisses down your body. You shuddered when his mouth found the sweet spot on your neck. He swiftly removed your bra, leaving only in your lacy panties. “You are so beautiful.” He murmured as he took in your naked form.

There wasn't a single part of your body that he didn't touch. His hands travelled all over your body, squeezing and pinching your skin as they moved until finally stopped on your breasts, kneading and massaging them.

“Jay-” you moaned as he continued to nibble at your sensitive skin. His mouth left your neck before latching onto your right nipple, his tongue flicking the bud making you cry out his name. “Oh fuck,” you whimpered as his fingers worked on your other nipple. You could feel him smirking before his mouth released you from its assault, pressing a kiss on the valley of your chest before moving south.

“Fuck baby, you're so wet. Where's your self control?” Jensen grunted when his hand brushed your damp panties before making a quick job of pulling them off you. He left kisses along the inside of both your thighs before you felt his hot breath fanning against where you needed him the most. He pressed a kiss on your aching pussy as you moaned for the hundredth time that night.

“Mhm, you always taste so good.” He growled against your pussy, the vibration of his voice making you shiver in anticipation. He started licking your clit slowly but then he picked up his pace as his tongue worked overtime. Your hands moved downwards, your fingers entangling with his hair. Jensen’s scruff scratched against your thigh, giving you a sweet, burning sensation which you knew would stay as a reminder of his unholy ministrations. His mouth and tongue continued to give you pleasure as the latter went in deep, hungrily eating you out.

“Fuck Jensen!” You exclaimed when you felt the pressure build up. You pulled at his scalp, making him groan against your pussy before he put a finger in you, at which you whimpered. He pumped in twice before adding another, successfully stretching you open.

“Shit!” Your back arched with pleasure as his fingers curled inside you, hitting your g-spot repeatedly. The coil inside you tightened as he kept pumping his fingers.

“Fuck! Fuck Jay!” You mewled as you came on his fingers. He pulled out his fingers, licking them clean, while you tried to steady your breathing. Giving you a quick kiss, he pulled down his pants along with his boxers, his hardened length making you lick your lips at the sight. He took his cock and ran his hand up and down the shaft, the tip of his cock beaded with precum.

“Jensen.” You croaked.

“Tell me what you want, sweetheart.” His deep voice growled as he sat there in all his naked glory.

“I-hm, I want you inside me.” Jensen quickly obliged as he lined himself with your entrance. Your mouth both sucked in a breath when he slipped his cock into you.

“You need to move.” He almost pulled out, leaving only his tip inside you before pushing all of him back in again. You buckled up your hips to match with his thrusts, making him groan. Your pussy clenched around him as the knot in your stomach tightened once again.

“Fuck Y/N!” He growled as his thrusts started to become sloppy.

“I am gonna-Jay!” your back arched as the coil in your stomach snapped and you felt yourself coming undone for the second time that night. Jensen thrusted a few more times before he spilled his seed inside you, coating your walls. “Shit Y/N!” He panted as he dropped his head into the crook of your neck. Pressing his lips on yours, he pulled out of you and rolled over, both of you panting hard, as you came down from your high before he got up to get a piece of cloth to clean you both up.

You were lying in his arms, basking in the post-coital bliss, both of you still in an euphoric state when those fateful words were muttered. “I think I'm in love with you.” The sentence slipped out before you could have stopped yourself and that's when you felt him beside you stiffen up.

“I thought we agreed this thing to be no-strings attached.” He said, his voice hard as rock as he spat the words out, making you wince at the sheer intensity of disgust in those ten little words.

“I-I thought, I'm sorry. I know what I got myself into,” you scoffed, “How was I such an idiot, to believe that you, out of all people, could ever love me?” You left the soft hotel bed, wrapping yourself with the white sheet to cover your modesty and self-respect or what was left of it.

“Where are you going?” Jensen asked as he watched you pick up the pieces of your clothing strewn about the room, putting them back on as you tried to swallow the lump in your throat.

‘Was that concern in his voice?’ You wondered but you decided not to voice your thoughts instead you retorted, “No-strings attached, remember? I am going back to my room.” And that was the last thing you said before you left hurriedly.

Closing the door behind you, you burst into tears. You almost ran back into your room because you didn't want to be seen by anyone and read some nasty headline on the celebrity gossip page the next day.

You didn't know how long you cried, lying there in your bed as you blamed yourself for completely messing up a good relationship. Wait, why were you even calling your arrangement a relationship?

That man didn't do relationships. How could you be so stupid to say those words to him? Maybe deep down inside, you had hoped that Jensen felt the same about you but after tonight all your hopes had been turned to dust. You laid motionless in your bed with tears streaming down your cheeks until two short knocks on your door interrupted your pity party.

A sense of fear seeped into you. Did someone see you in the hallway? You wondered. Gathering up a bit of courage you opened the door to find the man you least expected to show up on the other side.

“Wha-” Jensen barged into the room, closing the door behind him.

“Sarah, my last girlfriend she-I loved her, God did I love her but she took advantage and stabbed me in the back, left me there in the pool of my own blood.” He let out a shaky breath.

You still remembered that night in the trailer clearly. You and Jensen were still getting to know each other and you had never seen him have a breakdown like that. Sarah had used Jensen's name to get further in the industry and used his money but then she had owned up to never loving him and cheating on him with another man. Thomas was sick so Jared had to leave immediately while you had stayed with him that night in the trailer because you knew if you left him alone, he would have drowned himself in alcohol.

“I swore off dating, then you came along. After our first night in my Vancouver apartment, I didn't want to let you go. You were also healing from your last breakup and we both needed something to release the tension so I asked you to be my friend with benefits.”

“Jay-”

“Let me complete because I owe you an explanation and I'm here to give you one. All this time I was thinking that my feelings towards you were not romantic because I was scared to fall in love again until tonight when I watched you storm out of my room. I realised that I was lying to everyone including myself and I don't think I can live with that. ” You searched his face to find any sort of pity or a lie but all you saw were eyes filled with adoration for you. “Now I know I'm an idiot and I have royally fucked everything up but I think I'm ready to take a leap and I don’t want anyone but you by my side.”

You didn't even know when you had started crying. Jensen came closer to you, cupping your face, he whispered, “I want you, all strings attached.”

“Am I really the person you want?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?” A look of confusion descended on his face.

“Okay. I can give us a chance but I need you to be all in. I want you with all your strings attached as well.” You said, your lips curling up to form a soft smile.

“I am all in.” He said and leaned in, capturing your lips with his. Your one hand moved to the back of his neck and another gripped his bicep to ground yourself. It was a soft kiss filled with love and new promises.

“I do have one condition.” You said after breaking the kiss.

“I agree.” Jensen said, pecking your lips.

“You didn't even hear it.”

“I don't have to. I agree with it.” He smiled.

“Well then, no sex for one month.” You smirked as you Jensen's mouth fell open.

“One month?”

“You already agreed to it.” You giggled when he pouted at you. “Oh don't make that face. You have two hands, use them.”

“What about kissing?”

“I think I can allow kissing.” You chuckled making him sigh in relief.

“I love you and I'm a dumbass for not realising it before.” Your heart swelled in your chest as you heard him say those words back. “And I think Jared is going to earn some betting money in the morning when we walk into the room hand in hand.”

“We are telling everyone about us? So no secret meetings?”

“No secret meetings. I will shout it from the rooftops that you're mine because like I told you, I want you with all the strings attached.”

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