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If I Can’t Have You

Based on this request: “one shot of Wanda and the reader are married and Agatha likes the reader and creates problem in their relationship. one day the reader and Wanda were fighting, the reader leaves to find Agatha who controls the reader to fall in love with her. Wanda finds the reader and removes the mind control.”

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Agnes walks down the sun-bleached sidewalk, arms full of a stack of hardbacks that most certainly were not transformed spellbooks. Of course they weren’t- she is Agnes now, not Agatha, and even nosy neighbours would never be caught dead studying incantations. She has to keep up the illusion of innocence, and that is final.

Agnes’ cheerful grin slips when her eye catches on something in the bushes. They should be drab shades of gray (they’re still stuck in the 50s, no matter how much Agnes wishes they would just change decades already), but there’s a flash of color inside them. Agnes groans. Is Wanda’s control disintegrating so quickly? Agnes gestures towards the bush ever so slightly, and the color fades back to black and white in a second, with only a flash of purple dancing around Agnes’ fingertips to show that anything had changed.

However, in the split second that Agnes’ focus had been diverted away, her tall stack of books had begun to slide out of her arms. Agnes reaches out to steady the pile once more, but it’s too late- the books cascade to the ground, spilling out over the pale concrete. Agnes kneels, ignoring the spike of heat slicing up her knees from the sunburned sidewalk, and begins to gather up the books. To her surprise, a second figure leans down beside her, picking up the scattered hardbacks as well.

When Agnes looks up, her breath catches slightly in her throat. There’s someone standing over them, sun shining out in a halo over their head. A smile flashes across their face as they hold out the remaining books. “I’m Y/N. I don’t think we’ve been able to meet before.” Agnes shakes her head. “No, I don’t think so. I would have remembered you, hon. The name’s Agnes.” Y/N grins, teeth flashing in the sun. “It’s nice to meet you, Agnes. I think we’re neighbours- I live down the block with my wife, Wanda. Great to make some new friends.”

Agnes clears her throat. “Well, thank you for your help.” Y/N tilts their head in acknowledgement. “Well, I figured I might as well do something quickly. Wanda’s right down the block, and I don’t think you would have wanted her to see you summon up some purple sparks to retrieve the books.” Agnes stares. “You-” Y/N waves a hand in dismissal. “Don’t worry about it. I’m not going to say anything. I saw you fix that hedge, so clearly you’re here to help. If there’s one thing I can do, it’s keep a secret for a friend. See you around, Agnes.”

With that, Y/N heads back down the sidewalk, footsteps echoing down the concrete path. Agnes is left staring. Y/N knew about the magic and Y/N is married to Wanda, yet they aren’t going to say anything? As Agnes walks back to her house, she realizes there’s a new feeling of rage bubbling up in her stomach against the red-haired witch. It’s not just envy of Wanda’s chaos magic. No, this is something different. It takes Agatha a while to realize what it is, and then it occurs to her. She’s jealous that Wanda has Y/N in her life every day.

Agatha can’t take this feeling of envy for much longer. She begins small spells targeting Wanda and Y/N’s marriage, ones that will sow seeds of discontent that will draw Y/N to Agatha instead. At first, they’re barely noticeable- traffic is bad so Y/N arrives home later and later each day, Wanda keeps forgetting to keep a space out for Y/N at the dinner table. Then, it’s time for Agatha’s magnum opus- one thunderous rain storm that forces Y/N to dash into Agatha’s house to escape the torrential showers.

Y/N only has to knock a couple of times before Agatha opens her door, quickly ushering the drenched neighbour into her house. Y/N apologizes profusely, but Agatha just shakes her head. “It’s fine, trust me. I’d rather you stay in here for a while and dry up than have to run home in this sort of weather.” She hands Y/N a blanket, which they accept gratefully, wrapping around their shoulders.

Y/N gets distracted by a bookcase in the corner of the room, a deep mahogany number with intricate carvings detailing the sides. “You have a good collection of books here. Rivals even my own.” A faint smile slips across their face as they examine the titles, a warmth in their eyes as if greeting dozens of old friends. At last, Y/N’s finger stops over one book in particular, and they carefully draw it out from amongst the others.

Agatha leans over to Y/N, curious. “Which book is that?” Y/N delicately opens the cover, poring over the detailed illustrations and long swoops of text. “Greek mythology. I’ve always been a fan.” Y/N flips through the pages, stopping before one particularly beautiful depiction of a myth. In the drawing, a goddess lies desolate over the body of a lover, roses beginning to form where blood pools from their body.

“Aphrodite and Adonis. That’s a classic. The goddess of love and the queen of the underworld both fell in love with this one mortal hero, Adonis, and they fought over him for a long time.” Agatha furrows her brow. “What happened?” Y/N shakes their head sadly. “Adonis ended up dead, killed by a boar. The stories differ over the killing- some versions say it was Ares, Aphrodite’s husband, or it could have been Persephone herself, jealous that Adonis was falling in love with her rival. Either way, he ended up dead and they both ended up unhappy.”

Y/N sighs. “There are a lot of myths like that, actually. Two gods fall for one lover and in the resulting fight, the world seems to be torn apart. Something similar happened with Hercules and the river god Achelous over Deianeira, actually. Every time, two fall in love with one, and every time, violence always follows. If one god couldn’t have their lover, then nobody could. It never made sense to me. Why tear apart the world over love? Besides, it always hurt the lover, who never had any choice in the matter. A waste, honestly.”

Y/N closes the book and glances outside the window. “Look, it stopped raining. I will stop intruding on your hospitality with my sad Greek myths and leave you to your afternoon.” Agatha starts to raise her voice to protest, to say that Y/N could never be a waste of time, but Y/N is already donning her coat and slipping out the door with a raised hand and a final declaration of gratitude.

Wanda waits for Y/N when they get home. She stands in the middle of the living room, just waiting for when her spouse walks through the door. Y/N has barely closed the door behind them when they see their wife, and their smile fades. “What’s wrong, Wanda? You look upset.” Wanda’s gaze remains steady, bordering on harsh. “I wonder why that would be. I wonder why my spouse would show up late again, especially when I asked them to be here early for dinner.”

Y/N gestures loosely at the door behind them. “I couldn’t go anywhere! It was raining so hard I could barely see two feet in front of me. Here, you can see my jacket, my hair, they’re wet-” Y/N’s voice breaks off as they reach for their coat and find it perfectly dry. They rush to the window, but there is no sign of rain. No puddles, no clouds, nothing. Y/N turns back to Wanda, a look of bewilderment fogging up their eyes.

“I have no idea what happened. I swear, it was raining, but now there’s nothing there at all.” Wanda raises an eyebrow. “Yes, that’s very convincing, isn’t it? A magically disappearing rainstorm apparent only to you.” Y/N tilts their head, irritation beginning to show. “Don’t use that tone. I would never lie to you. This is just strange. Something is happening and I can’t understand it.” They throw their arms up in frustration, but just as they raise their hands, Wanda flinches. It’s a small movement, barely there at all, but it’s enough for Y/N to notice. Instantly, all annoyance fades from their face, replaced by swift betrayal.

“You flinched- you thought I would-” Y/N’s voice is quiet, barely there at all. Wanda shakes her head fervently. “I didn’t mean that. It was an accident.” Y/N looks back at their wife, expression bleak. “It wasn’t an accident, though. You thought I would hit you? You truly think so little of me?” Y/N turns around, grabbing their coat from the door once more. “I think I should go. I think that would be best for both of us.”

Wanda reaches out to stop Y/N from leaving, but her spouse has already disappeared through the front door. A quiet gasp comes from the stairs behind Wanda, and she turns to see Billy and Tommy clustered together on the stairs, twin looks of horror on their faces. Billy is the first to speak. “Are they leaving us?” Wanda rushes over to them, hurrying in her apologies. “Of course not. Everyone has disagreements, you know? It’s impossible to be perfectly happy forever. Y/N is going to come back very soon, and we’re going to talk things out again. That’s what makes us love each other, you know. We always come back to each other in the end.”

Wanda’s voice is light and untroubled, but her children still don’t look entirely convinced. In fact, Wanda doesn’t even look convinced herself. After Billy and Tommy retreat back upstairs to their rooms, Wanda walks slowly to the kitchen and sits down at the table, placing her head in her hands. What has she done? What if Y/N really doesn’t come back?

Y/N regrets storming out of the house as soon as the front door closes behind them. They want nothing more than to go back inside and apologize, but they’ve always had too much pride to swallow. So, they walk out of their house, heading out into the street. Maybe they’ll go into town for a while, shoot the breeze and cool down, and then come back home and make things right. Y/N has never been able to stay away from Wanda for too long, especially during an argument. That’s what made them work so well together- they always returned to each other.

However, Y/N hasn’t gone more than a couple of feet down the road when someone walks up to them. Y/N glances over, recognizing Agnes. “Look, I’m sorry but I don’t really want to talk right now. I’ve already messed things up with Wanda, I think it’s best that I stay by myself for a while.” Agatha’s smile doesn’t falter for a second. “Of course you want to come with me, hon. You love me.” 

Y/N frowns, but with a wave of Agatha’s hand a violet streak flashes across Y/N’s eyes and a relaxed smile spreads across their face. “I do love you.” Agatha holds out her hand, and Y/N takes it without a second’s hesitation. Agatha glances over at Y/N, considering them. “Actually, I think we need one more spell. I can’t have Wanda recognizing you, after all.” Agatha murmurs a spell under her breath, and Y/N’s features ripple and change into an entirely different face. Even if Wanda happened to see Y/N walking with Agatha, she would have no idea who they were.

Wanda is growing more uneasy as the hours pass by. Y/N should have returned by now, they should have made up by now. The fact that they aren’t here tells Wanda that something is wrong. Wanda knows it must be the aftereffects of the argument, but yet there’s something in the back of her head telling Wanda that there might be some foul play. After a while, Tommy slips into the room, pausing as he walks by Wanda.

“Are you still looking for Y/N?” Wanda nods, then frowns at Tommy’s tone. “What do you mean, still? Do you know where she is?” Tommy shakes his head, but he hesitates slightly. Wanda jumps on this uncertainty like a lion. “Tommy, love, I need you to tell me where Y/N is. We both know something isn’t right, don’t we? This is really important.”

Tommy still deliberates, but after frantic glances from Wanda he finally relents. “I was running past Agnes’ house and I saw someone in there. I had never seen them before, and Billy says that nobody new has come into town. It didn’t look like Y/N, but it was still strange.” Wanda swoops forward, pressing a kiss to Tommy’s forehead. “Thank you so much for telling me. I’ll go look into that right away. Stay here with Billy, alright? I’ll be back in a second.”

The methodical rhythm of Wanda’s boots echoes down the street as she heads purposefully to Agnes’ house. She knocks a couple of times before the door opens, and Wanda is face to face with an utterly unfamiliar person. Wanda blinks in confusion. “Hi, I’m Wanda. I was looking for someone.” The stranger in Agnes’ house smiles. “Well, come on inside. Maybe you’ll find them here.”

Wanda nods, following the stranger inside. “What’s your name, by the way?” Wanda asks, and the stranger just looks at her. “I wasn’t given a name.” There’s a moment of tension, like the stranger is almost begging Wanda to realize something, but then their face smooths over and everything returns to normal. Wanda is shown to a seat in the living room, and she stares around Agnes’ house. She reaches out with her mind, searching for Y/N, but nothing happens.

The stranger bustles back into the room. “Agnes is out, but she’ll be back in a little bit. Is there anything I can do for you right now?” Wanda shakes her head, standing up. “Actually, I don’t think so. I’m sorry to waste your time.” Wanda starts to head to the door, but the stranger quickly walks in front of her, blocking her path. “Are you sure? I thought you were looking for someone.” The stranger is staring at them with a look so full of pain and hope that Wanda almost has to look away. What would the stranger want Wanda to know? What would they know, except-

Then Wanda realizes, and she reaches out a tentative hand to the stranger’s temples. Wanda concentrates for a second, searching, and then she feels the spell masking the stranger’s thoughts and pulls it away like she’s removing a blindfold. Instantly, the stranger straightens up, and they shudder for a second as their face changes into a more familiar countenance. Wanda cries out in relief, wrapping her arms around Y/N, for of course it is they who stand before her. 

“I thought you were missing- I thought you hated me-” Y/N holds tight to Wanda. “No. No, I could never. I tried to go back, but then the spell hit and I couldn’t do anything.” Y/N leans back, cupping Wanda’s face gently in her palm. “I’m so glad you found me. I was so scared that you wouldn’t know it was me.” Wanda smiles bittersweetly. “I will always come back to you. Every single time.”

Wanda and Y/N leave Agatha’s house, heading quickly back to their own home, back to their twin boys who look up excitedly when they see Y/N return. Wanda and Y/N do not notice Agatha, who just arrives at her house in time to see the married couple disappear back through their own front door. Agatha glares, storming into her house to see the hated truth- Y/N is indeed gone, the spell broken. In a moment of utter rage, Agatha lets her power flow through her, murky indigo smoke pouring over the room as walls crack and glasses break.

When Agatha is at last able to control herself, she stands panting in the middle of the room. Her eyes catch on a book that had been yanked from its shelf, a book that now lies open on the ground. Agatha’s eyes widen as she takes in that familiar drawing of the goddess and the lover, from the story Y/N had been talking about earlier. Aphrodite and Adonis, forced to repeat their pain once more.

But Agatha understands it now, understands it as Y/N had never been able to fully comprehend. Why shouldn’t the gods tear apart the world? This feeling in Agatha’s chest, this empty broken rage, will never be able to subside. Y/N loves Wanda, and Wanda loves Y/N. There is no room for Agatha in that story. 

A twisted, fractured smile begins to wend its way across Agatha’s lips. Before, she had been hesitant about messing too much with Wanda’s reality, but now, all rules are gone with Y/N. If Agatha can’t have Y/N, no one else will. Wanda doesn’t stand a chance.

wanda maximoff tag list: @mycosmicparadise​ @mionemymind​ @xxxtwilightaxelxxx​    

pietro maximoff in..."filmed before a live studio audience" -- wandavision {ep. 1}

| wandavision--starring pietro maximoff | part one | written by zen | @hisfasttemper | ♡

waking up in a suburban stylized home to the shattering sound of dishes before breakfast was perfectly adequate for the dandy brother/ brother-in-law role pietro maximoff had been cast in as of late.

cue a pun of 'flying saucers' and 'indestructible heads' accompanied by laugh tracks, shortly before the speedster made his timely queued entrance in the magic-enfuelled kitchen. sliding in unfasionably, the speedster gave a twirl as he hopped up onto the kitchen counter, surrounded by said flying saucers, finishing their quirky pubs with "--and your brother who's quick on his toes!"

"-feet, pietro, the saying is; quick on his feet." wanda corrected with a loose eye roll, grinning.

the suited synthezoid followed with, "quite correct wanda, see the phrase regarding one being quick on their feet originated from one's-"

"heyo vis! dictionary and his pal thesaurus called! they want their definitions back!" the brother-in-law quipped, swaying his legs on the counter.

wanda giggled towards their banter, levitaring a lollipop to her brother's shirt pocket as if rewarding a child having made some sort of achievement, which pietro had not, really. either way, the speedster took the sweet with an overjoyed gasp. "gee whizz! thanks, wanda!"

vision found himself having to leave behind the bantering siblings quite soon after to confide himself to an office working at a job with no purposeness whatsoever. not a matter to the twins however, as filling their days with distractions and 'obligations' came rather easily.

"now now, pietro, don't you have some groceries awaiting to be grabbed by your speedy little hands? " wanda whimmed, pinching her brothers black and white cheeks, "just because vis has no appetite doesn't mean we don't, does it? maybe you can introduce yourself to the buddying neighbourhood."

"you don't think the locals will be a little spooked at the sight of a silver blurr saying a fine 'how do you do' ?"

"not once they see that dashing face of yours. and I argue the vibranium husband and his telekinetic wife will leave them a little worse for wear than your speedy show."

the banter continued, each quip gaining laugh upon laugh from an unseen audience until pietro made his way out of the houses back door to shop the required foods his twin had listed for them. taking a glance around the overly cheerful neighbours with the blazefully unnatural su beaming down upon westview, pietro suddenly found himself in company before having the chance to arrive at the supermarket in a flash.

"golly !" came the quirky, astonished interruption of who could only be the maximoff's next door neighbour. pietro blinked, now fixated on a coal haired, 50's attired woman in her middle age. she gave pietro a scan over with eyes that hid more than he felt comfortable not knowing. "I tell you sweetcheeks, they don't make' em like you anymore, do they? living with my ralph has definitely proven that!"

his brows drew together in utter bafflement as they invisible audience laughed the woman on. he was oblivious as to who either she or this 'ralph' were, though he wasn't rude enough to say he didn't care. offering a fake smile and little bow at her compliment, the former sokovian- now american- replied with, "well your ralph must be blind as a bat to not see that he's living with someone remarkably stunning as you doll! "

she offered her hand, "the name's agnes, and what's your name hon, I'm betting something pretty." pietro dismissed the handshake, his urge to pull a stunt that would distract this 'agnes' and allow him to run to where he desired most to be was growing by the second. the neighbour continued, "I was just popping over to give an old fashioned welcome to your lovely little family when i saw you come out just now."

he REALLY desired to leave now. "well, I'll let my sister give you a grande introduction then, shall I?" the laugh track repeated unecessarily, while pietro's silver trail abandoned the scene.

hours of schenanagins and coupling woes occured between wanda and vision within the time it took for pietro to return home. only he entered with his sister's hands covering another petite woman's eyes in the style of their native country's greeting, all while in a dress not for a brothers eyes. to say that bafflement overwhelmed the speedster would be understating it by a long shot.

"ohhhh I'm going to cover my eyes, but not to say 'welcome to our home'!" the disturbed brother exclaimed, followed by vision erupting into a similar state as his own. as it unconventionally turned out, vision's boss and his spouse were visiting for dinner that could promote the synthezoid's future at his useless company.

chaos erupted in the kitchen as both maximoff twins were magicked into far more formal attire, with wanda in a oceanic dinner dress and pietro in a crimson suit and white bow tie. they were burdened with the task of cooking a full course meal within mere minuets while vision kept them suspiciously entertained in the meantime.

"how could this slip your mind, wanda, surely our nosy neighbour didn't distract you to the extent of FORGETTING A DINNER PARTY?! and WHAT were you wearing when I came in-"

she hushed him, flicking over the unprepared mashed potatoes in his direction, unexpectedly filling his mouth. he could only attempt to continue protesting, though wanda wanted a review of the food, not an interrogation. she perked up her brows, waiting. "is that mouthful enough of a distraction, or do I have to spill my real plans for myself and vision tonight?"

dinner came after floods of unpredicted silliness, and wanda's sudden lack of need in actually COOKING, rather just summoning a meal on the spot for the family and their guests. little did they know the true chaos would commence at the table...

the speedster chowed down on his food, letting visions boss mr.hart dabble on any nonsense or any 'couple's questions he inquired for his sister and brother-in-law. though as the laughs disintegrated, and tension suffocated the five of them,

"and who are you, what's your part in this?" questions now FIRED towards pietro...

and he too felt choked of knowledge or the ability to provide answers, just as wanda and vision seemed to be. what is his 'part'? what could that possibly mean...'part' as in role? like an acting role, in a movie, or show....? his theories were cut too soon as convienently, the aggressive questioner began to suffer his own form of choking attack, all three maximoff's dumbstruck where they sat as the boss's state grew creepily out of control.

"vision...help him," wanda ordered softly, pietro gripping her hand beneath the table until both of their knuckles faded white. vision resolved mr.harts state of struggle and for that evening, pietro couldnonly bear to stay for seconds longer before retiring to his unfamiliar bedroom, feeling TOO broodily faint to be shown on air. because, after all....

...he wasn't the main star of wandavision.

100 Weird AU's? Yes.

So, I had these AU prompts on my phone for quite a while, and I was actually thinking about using them. And what better way to do it than using them with the Tracy's?

Reading and reading these prompts again (and under the gentle guidance of @willow-salix ) I thought that these prompts doesn't exactly match the brothers' everyday situation, but what if we push it past its limit? Yes, biting more that you can chew can be a little difficult, but I don't think it will be impossible. And that's where this challenge is born!

Get the Tracy's out of International Rescue's bubble and let them live an everyday situation as normal people! They can also be medieval nobles or even futuristic robots, the choice's up to you! You can choose from soo many things others don't even think about (and not even me, for a while)!

Many thanks to @tag2060 for the cover and @willow-salix for the support (both emotional and 'fic-ical'. I love both of you💚

NOTE: THESE PROMPTS AREN'T ALL MINE. I TOOK THEM FROM A GIRL I'M NOT IN CONTACT WITH ANYMORE, BUT I WAS TOLD I COULD USE THEM. ALL CREDITS FOR THESE AU'S GO TO HER, WHATEVER IS HER NAME (lmao). THE GOLD MARKED ONES (7, 11, 20, 23, 39, 47, 63, 64, 70, 83, 89, 91, 93, 96, 100) ARE ALL MINE, IN SUBSITUTION OF A FEW THAT WERE THERE, SO CREDIT FOR THE GOLDEN MARKED ONES GOES TO ME, BUT NOT EVERY ONE OF THEM.

NOTE²: SOME OF THE PROMPTS CONTAIN STRONG THEMES, LIKE DEPRESSION AND SEXUAL CONTENT. IF YOU'RE SENSIBLE TO THESE THEMES, DON'T DO THEM, NOBODY FORCES YOU IF YOU DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ:･ﾟ✧(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ:･ﾟ✧(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

To participate in this challenge, all you have to do is take one of the AU prompts from the list, one or more (or all) Tracy characters, and post your fic (can be a ficlet, or a series) under the tag #100weirdTracys and #100weirdAUs.

If you don't want to participate, please don't harass/bully me. I made this challenge just for fun, and I don't want for it to feel like something bad. In fact, I don't even regret doing this thing, even if it's strange.

Ah, I almost forgot: this challenge will be over in December, so you have 4 months to choose a prompt and make a fic about it. On December I'll review all the fics, but I'll always be reblogging and reading during these 4 months lol.

If you want to tell me something, hit me up on DM's! I hope you have fun with those prompts and those bois!

(づ￣ ³￣)づ(づ￣ ³￣)づ(づ￣ ³￣)づ(づ￣ ³￣)づ

TO RESUME:

• Swearing is allowed.

• You can write as many words as you want!

• Oc's and muses can pop in too!

• Make sure to tag your fic(s) under the '#100weirdTracys' and '#100weirdAUs' tags, so that I can find them easily.

• Always tag or contact me if you need help with anything! I'll be more than glad to help you!

• If you decide to do the mature prompts (19, 90, just to state an example) please refrain from using a too mature language and don't go further than making up. I don't like that kind of language, so it would be peachy to just avoid writing so they make wild sex behind a bush. Any kind of very mature fic or language won't be read by me, I'm sorry. You can still use those prompts, but don't work their bed life too much.

• Any dialect or first language apart from english is more than welcome in this yard! I would love even to read snippets of foreign language in fics, as long as there's a translation near it, but you're not forced to write in another language. If you don't feel comfortable doing it just don't do it, even if I'm telling you. (For the record, I love Irish so much I could listen to a person speaking this language for hours and you won't hear me complaining).

• I will accept this challenge in whatever form it takes, be it a fic, a drawing, a song, etc. I’m open to anything and I watch everything that comes before me!

φ(．．)φ(．．)φ(．．)φ(．．)__φ(．．)

That said, you can find the prompts down here:⬇️

 #1 I saved you from drowning!AU

#2 I broke into your house at two in the morning because I was drunk and I thought it was my house!AU

#3 I am a door-to-door seller please buy something!AU

#4 I grabbed the wrong luggage at the airport!AU

#5 I know we hate each other, but a wedding would be more convenient for both of us!AU

#6 I accidentally poured you a love potion!AU

#7 I sent you 12 messages but you left me on read!AU

#8 I am your secret admirer and I leave you anonymous cards!AU

#9 Sorry, but I was first in line!AU

#10 We don’t know each other but let's pretend to be together because someone is bothering me!AU

#11 We pack up to do a funny trip but we end up in Bolivia without fuel!AU

#12 Locked in quarantine and we're bored! AU

#13 I do everything to find out the identity of this superhero and you try to mislead me because it’s really you!AU

#14 I got into a taxi just to find out it was already occupied!AU

#15 I called the wrong number!AU

#16 I got into the wrong car OMG I'm ashamed, but while you’re there why don’t you give me a ride!AU

#17 I found a wallet and my business is to find the owner and return it!AU

#18 I am a street artist and you complain that I play in front of your house at night!AU

#19 I caught you watching porn!AU

#20 We're two strangers that start chatting while waiting for the bus!AU

#21 Nosy and sloppy roommates!AU

#22 Old childhood friends who come back after years!AU

#23 I got shot to the arm/leg but you're there to save me and OMG ILY!AU

#24 We’re sitting next to each other on a plane and please don’t throw up on me!AU

#25 We accidentally switched phones!AU

#26 We are both contestants in a reality show and let's pretend to be together because the audience will ship us!AU

#27 I am a wedding planner and my ex’s wedding had to happen to me!AU

#28 I learned sign language to communicate with you!AU

#29 Professional model and novice photographer!AU

#30 Sorry I ran you over!AU

#31 We make out and then I find out that you are my roommate’s boyfriend!AU

#32 I’m quoting aloud the last book of a series and I’m spoiling you!AU

#33 It is a universally acknowledged truth that a bachelor with a large fortune must be looking for a wife!AU

#34 I am a Partisan and you are a fascist!AU(Italy during World War II!AU)

#35 I am the blood of the dragon!AU (Iron Throne!AU)

#36 Your dog is hitting on mine!AU

#37 I’m depressed and I decide to call a hotline!AU

#38 You are my soulmate but I am in love with someone else!AU

#39 Strange encounter at tattoo shop!AU

#40 On my mark, unleash hell!AU(Roman Empire!AU)

#41 I am an Elf, don’t look at me for ears I am ashamed of!AU(The Lord of the Rings!AU)

#42 Maybe my life should be more than just survival!AU(The 100!AU)

#43 I am an activist and I am trying to convert you to the cause!AU

#44 We are occupying the school but you are a spoilsport!AU

#45 All our friends are drunk and we're not!AU

#46 We’ve been together for three months and now you’re telling me you’re a werewolf!AU

#47 X has to go into a rocket to the moon and Y has to train X!

#48 Knight in shining armor and damsel in distress!AU

#49 We reluctantly team up against the zombie apocalypse!AU

#50 I’m a vampire and your smell is driving me nuts!AU(Twilight!AU)

#51 Monsters have attacked the Earth and the only way to save humanity is aboard giant robots piloted by two people who must maintain a mental union!AU(Pacific Rim!AU)

#52 My timer stopped as soon as I saw you!AU(Soulmate!AU)

#53 I need a lawyer and you are the best!AU

#54 I’m a Viking and I plundered your ship!AU

#55 I’m a classic dandy from the Regency Age and you’re just a silly girl from the lower middle class!AU

#56 I’m a policeman and you’re an intrusive journalist and I really shouldn’t give you any information about the new murder!AU

#57 You are a wannabe actress and I am a theatrical director who is losing patience and health!AU

#58 Due to a computer error, X and Y become college roommates!AU

#59 X wants to see the world of Y, how he lives and what he usually does, and ends up spending a night in prison!AU

#60 I attend the yoga course just to watch how flexible the instructor is!AU

#61 I am a bounty hunter and you are my prey!AU

#62 I am a secret spy and pretend to be your friend only to get information about your father!AU

#63 I discuss with you about a thing but you have in mind another!AU

#64 We are forced to be best friends just because our moms were best friends too but you're too bossy for me!AU

#65 We broke up but I never changed emergency contacts and now I’m in the hospital and they called you!AU

#66 I am an angel and you are a demon!AU

#67 I hit you on the balls during a game of paintball and oh my god I am so sorry!AU

#68 We live in a dystopian world where your partner is chosen by society!AU(Matched!AU)

#69 I’m a dragon trainer I’ll prove to you that they are peaceful creatures!AU(Dragon Trainer!AU)

#70 Date at japanese restaurant!AU

#71 You’re a cheerleader and I’m a punk and we live in two different worlds!AU

#72 I was a zombie and I was "re-animated" but you treat me like I’m still a monster!AU(In the Flesh!AU)

#73 I am your son’s teacher and I am calling to talk to you about his conduct, would he also come to dinner with me!AU

#74 I am an Achaean warrior and you Trojan and we are fighting the Trojan War!AU

#75 I met my asshole boss at the bar but I found out he’s pretty cool!AU

#76 It was not my intention to touch your ass, it’s just that the bus is crowded, it’s not my fault ok!AU

#77 I went fishing and accidentally fished a mermaid!AU

#78 I just committed a crime and I need to use you as a hostage!AU

#79 You’re the bastard who always parks in front of my door and in spite I’ll scratch your car!AU

#80 I accidentally went back in time and fell in love with you, too bad you’re a barbarian!AU

#81 I urgently need you to fix my computer but please don’t judge me for my chronology!AU

#82 I work on the cruise ship where you are spending your holidays!AU

#83 I'm out in the rainstorm without an umbrella because the weather forecast was sunny!AU

#84 I hugged the wrong person from behind!AU

#85 Celebrity on the run and ordinary citizen confused!AU

#86 Stuck in a ranch cleaning horse poop but it doesn’t matter because that cowboy is a badass!AU

#87 We got married in Vegas, but we’re total strangers!AU

#88 But, officer, I wasn’t doing anything wrong, I was just smoking a joint, want a hit!AU

#89 X is an astronaut and Y is a weird but funny alien that likes to scream, overreact and laugh!AU

#90 I slept with you for a bet but I loved it and I’d like to keep seeing you!AU

#91 I reveal to some friends that you wear boxers/underwear with green aliens on them but you're behind me and oh gosh total shame!AU

#92 Oops I accidentally entered a busy dressing room!AU

#93 You're a stranger but I keep crossing paths with you and I'm kinda confused right now!AU

#94 X is a medium and Y a ghost!AU

#95 X is a guardian angel and Y wants to die!AU

#96 X accidentally enters in a cat and Y has to rescue it from up a tree!AU

#97 X risks losing the house because Y’s company wants to buy the land!AU

#98 I’m an artist and I need a model do you want to pose for me!AU

#99 I’m not really sick but the new doctor is so beautiful that I found out I have a disease with an unpronounceable name!AU

#100 A strange job application!AU

φ(．．)φ(．．)φ(．．)φ(．．)__φ(．．)

If you find them more practical, I also have some photos down here with all the prompts organized:⬇️

That said, enjoy! Hope it brings you joy and makes you happy while you do it!💙💚🧡💛❤💜💖🖤

So, TFW you find a ship ask meme and decide to fill it out for Brona/Emet anyway because you’re that starved for ship talk. Most of it’ll go below the cut! (source)

ULTIMATE SHIP MEME!

General:

Rate the Ship -   Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - A long time, one hopes!

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Brona started crushing the moment Emet showed up after Il Mheg, and by the time Mt. Gulg rolled around she was hopelessly in love. Emet had a lot more issues to work through, and even if he found himself attracted to her, there was the whole “Kore” thing to deal with and also the tempering. But the feelings were there, if complicated, and it was only after he (hopefully) comes back that he was truly able to reciprocate entirely.

How was their first kiss? - It was right before the conversation at the Ladder, and pretty desperate and passionate and full of pent-up want and need on both ends, though for different reasons. Their second was a lot softer and sadder, and halfway a goodbye.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Emet, because Brona is a bit insecure at times and probably wouldn’t think he’d say yes, so Emet would do it and then Brona would cry and say yes.

Who is the best man/men? - Lahabrea I MEAN UH. Aside from him I can’t think of anyone on Emet’s end, so possibly Urianger? He’s who Brona is closest to in the Scions. Or Bran, male WoL friendo!

Who is the bridesmaid(s)? - WoL friend Lulu, probably, and the rest of the lady WoLs in Brona’s squad. Any of the girl Scions who want in, too. Probably Ryne!

Who did the most planning? - Emet, because he’s into that kind of thing and he wants to spoil the shit out of Brona, and he’s also probably a little bit controlling in a harmless way?

Who stressed the most? - Emet is definitely a bit nervous, but Brona and her insecurities probably end up screaming internally until it actually happens.

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Not crazy over the top, no, but you try telling me that Emet wouldn’t go at least a little ham. He’s ridiculously theatrical and a former emperor several times over, after all. If he wants to spoil his wife he’s going to. Brona’s a little flustered, but appreciates it.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Well, I mean, Elidibus probably. 

Sex:

Who is on top? - Brona, most of the time. Emet likes to let others take the lead, but sometimes he’ll take his turn because she deserves to be spoiled sometimes. 

Who is the one to instigate things? - Both of them, they’re horrible.

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

They’re not constantly at it, no, but...pretty often. Very healthy sex life, they enjoy it and it’s nice for both of them.

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

Not aggressively Weird, but oooh definitely a bit kinky. Emet is very experienced and very much one for experimenting and Brona, though she hasn’t done much before in comparison, is very interested in trying things.

How long do they normally last? - I DON’T KNOW HOW SEX WORKS I DON’T KNOW HOW TO ANSWER THIS ONE.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Oh yes, Emet likes to make sure Brona is happy and satisfied, and Brona’s used to making sure her partners are satisfied before she is, so together they end up pretty even.

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

They don’t get that crazy rough, but they are both definitely at least a little rough together. Emet doesn’t like it that violent, but he does like it a bit rough, and Brona...finds she’s pretty good at delivering, and she enjoys it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

They’re awful. Terrible. Brona’s insecurities and the fact that she almost lost him forever just after falling for him, and Emet being--- well, with everything he’s dealt with, they’re both more than a little clingy and affectionate with one another.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - Two, twins, once everything is over for good and they have the time and space--- it’s an accident, though, and they panic a little because of more than a few reasons, but Brona wants to be a mom so badly and they keep them. Their names are Morgan (the girl) and Gawain (the boy).

How many children will they adopt? - None officially, but they’re fussy with their friends’ kids, definitey.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Emet, because Brona’s very good at bribing him.

Who is the stricter parent? - Brona by a little bit, they both have a bad habit of spoiling their kids rotten because they’re just so overwhelmed with love and the fact that they have babies.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Emet is far more overprotective because babies with baby souls, but Brona’s fussy, too. Though Emet is also more likely to enable Shenanigans.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Brona definitely is better at remembering little things like that.

Who is the more loved parent? - Oh, the twins adore both their parents, but Emet just a little more sometimes because he’s more of an enabler for the crazy stuff.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - Brona. We don’t trust Emet doing that kind of thing, he’s not allowed to start up with other parents, he would be the worst.

Who cried the most at graduation? - Both of them would be messes.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Brona, if just because Emet is 50/50 chance that he’s in trouble with them.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Brona, mostly because Emet is used to either not eating, Creating food for himself, or not cooking because Emperor. Not that he doesn’t know how, he’s just used to not and would forget.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Emet does trend towards being a little more picky, but both of them aren’t that bad.

Who does the grocery shopping? - Brona, for sure.

How often do they bake desserts? - Often! Emet is very much a sweet tooth, and Brona would happily oblige.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Well, my heacanon is that Emet only really eats seafood meat-wise, no red meat or poultry (don’t ask why, it’s just one of Those hcs), so he’s a bit picky there, but otherwise both of them are pretty much in the middle.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Emet, definitely. He likes big grand romantic gestures.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Emet, again. Spoil Brona rotten, that’s his modus operandi.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - Neither one of them are that bad.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Brona, probably, Emet can be a little lazy sometimes.

Who is really against chores? - Emet. Why bother??? He can just snap the mess away, come on, does he haaaave to? Also he’s definitely a little used to other people doing them.

Who cleans up after the pets? - Most of Brona’s pets are seedkin, so she keeps them taken care of, but if they get anything else that’s on Emet so they’re his responsibility, dang it.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Emet, definitely, the lazy butt.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Neither one of them are really stressy about guests, mostly.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Emet because he’s a nosy little shit, too.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Emet, oh my god, he’s horrible, he loves long hot baths, the shit. He enjoys the finer things in life because it takes the edge off, and that includes hot baths.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - They don’t have any pets that require walkies, really, but Emet loves cute shit so he’ll probably spoil Brona’s friends’ pets if they let him.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Brona isn’t crazy into the holidays, but Emet hasn’t celebrated Eorzean holidays before, and he gets a kick out of them, so he’s definitely very much the one that gets into it.

What are their goals for the relationship? - Mutual healing from their traumas, and just...enjoy the time they have with each other. Show one another they’re loved and cherished for who they are, that they deserve to be loved.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Emet, no question.

Who plays the most pranks? - They love teasing each other with little silly things, so both of them, and they’re equally likely to start it. 

🚑 for Eileen & 👻 for Severus & 🌎 for Timberly

And then I’d sit, and think some more || @obsessev​ || Stil Accepting

🚑 - If your muse was the only person around and someone was injured, would they help? Would they have the experience needed?

Okay so because I’m human garbage, Eileen’s bio never got completed so a little backstory on this… My vague ideas for her (and given that you’ve got the ONLY Tobias I’ve ever seen, your thoughts are welcomed??) are that she was a pureblood witch - perhaps not as rich and resplendent as say the Black’s and Malfoy’s and the Potter’s but certainly a step above the dirt poor, blood traitor Weasleys. As such, I imagine that a decent marriage had been lined up for her upon her graduation (and idea briefly explored with @muse–minded on my old blog) - because I headcanon arranged marriages for the likes of Narcissa etc. some 15-20 years later so… Why not Eileen?

So her choice to ‘pull an Andromeda’ probably follows not too briefly on the heels of her finishing her N.E.W.Ts and a career isn’t exactly what’s expected of her… So as for the training..? She might have some limited knowledge of spells she could use - potions, she could certainly do a lot more to help with those, were she given the option to brew… So, before she leaves school. Sure, she’d help, almost without hesitation, depending, of course - on who the person was. 

But once she leaves? that’s where the blockage comes in. Tobias. She probably runs away from her family quite young (it’s, what, the 50′s? People move fast back then - I don’t know how long it would take Tobias to get down on one knee and secure himself a wife but…) and at first - she keeps it a secret from him and… Well. He’s not too bad at this point… But you don’t bring home strays, you don’t invite all and sundry into your living room when you’ve got a husband coming home from work and he’ll be hungry and if you’re honest - potions, which came so easy, is nothing like muggle cooking. 

She might still help anyway at this point. 

But the longer she’s with him? The less likely she is to help. The people in Spinner’s end are gossipy, dirty and mean. You’ve got your own problems, and why do you want to heap yourself up an extra serving because that nosy bitch at number five told her husband - who told your husband - that you were talking to a strange man on the street and now your husband doesn’t like that because, really, who do you think you are? Huh? What do you think you look like? What do you think you’re making him look like, god damn it Eileen! You’re gonna cuckold him in his own fucking house, huh? 

No, you mind your own business, and you find the scowl that wedding day Eileen thought she’d left behind at Hogwarts and you keep your head down. You’ve got your own problems.

When it’s your husband who’s hurt himself? Drunk legless, and falling over himself. Perhaps you freeze, maybe this time… Maybe this is it. He’s hit his head and he’s bleeding and maybe this time. You’ll be free. After a pause, only long enough that he could charitably think he’d given the silly bitch a right shock two nights ago when he’s dried out - you’re at his side. Because if this isn’t it, and you don’t help… Well, his reaction to your inaction doesn’t bear thinking about.

👻 - Does your muse believe in an afterlife? What do they think it’s like?

Well. Yes, Severus believes there is some kind of afterlife - because - well. Ghosts exist, bro. 

As for the ideas of Heaven and Hell? I’m not sure if Severus was exactly raised religious (I mean, it was the 60s, so it’s possible) although I can see it (If he was, he would reject it vehemently). I think Severus - especially when he’s older has seen enough and learned enough not to categorically rule it out. There are wonders of the world and of magic that means he isn’t so narrowminded as to just dismiss it but I don’t think he’d truly believe in heaven and hell as we often see them portrayed.

He may think on it - especially at his lowest points - and would certainly hope they’re not real. Lily, after all, has certainly gone heaven bound if they’re real and he is hell bound - because he cannot atone for what he has done (when he is not so low, he does wonder how much more kicking he deserves from the world for his choices but…) and he has no hopes of being blissfully reunited with her if that was the case.

🌎 - Does your muse want to change the world? How would they go about it?

Eh.

Tim, to be honest, doesn’t have much of a concern for the world outside of her own life. At least… Not in the traditional sense? She’s not a wide-eyed idealist going out into the world to try to fix it. Her life has issues, undeniable issues - but she is still relatively privileged. She is pureblood, moderately wealthy and… She just accepts that most things are the way they are? And somewhat selfishly - outside of her own situation - she struggles to really care about the plight of others? Like man, that sucks that house elves are oppressed, Hermione - but her family house-elf seems happy enough and honestly joining clubs and organisations is a way to draw unwanted attention, so thanks but no thanks…As she gets older her sense of compassion does develop somewhat - most notably in relation to her brother or Patrick. In more modern verses - where Voldemort is on the rise - she finds herself worrying for her squib brother (he’s a pureblood, yes, but his lack of magical ability concerns her - and Voldemort’s idea that magic can be ‘stolen’ concerns her even more) and for her muggleborn partner. In fantastic beasts / riddle era interactions - Gellert’s views on muggles concern her (how is a squib better than a muggle?) but she can also be easily manipulated by him…Overall, however, her concerns are for those immediately connected to her - and her sense of an overall ‘greater good’ is only really spurred on by that. Otherwise - her world alterations are very self-centred. If she was likely to ‘change’ anything about the world - it would be by writing books about it. 

Globe, November 30

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: The palace lured Princess Diana into death trap 

Page 2: Up Front & Personal -- Sienna Miller shooting Anatomy of a Scandal, former soap star Wanda De Jesus and longtime partner Jimmy Smits take a walk in Brentwood, Mama June Shannon gambles on plastic surgery 

Page 3: Billy Dee Williams may walk with a cane but he doesn’t let that stop him from taking the wheel in West Hollywood, Joey Fatone at the Fort Lauderdale International Film Festival, Ariel Winter lugs around a massive roll of bubble wrap in L.A. 

Page 4: Courageous Al Roker has battled health problems for years and now his new devastating prostate cancer diagnosis seals his rep as the unluckiest man on TV

* Patrick Duffy and Linda Purl are proof that love can be just as wonderful in your golden years and now pals predict their whirlwind romance will lead them to an elopement -- the former Dallas star was heartbroken after his wife of 43 years died of cancer in 2017 but Happy Days alum Linda brought joy back into his life -- the greying sweethearts plan to spend the holidays with both their families and then go house hunting for their own place

Page 5: Kanye West thinks he’s so smart and wonderful and creative he’s showering bucks on a project to make a posse of his own personal mini-mes and he sees his clones as his gift to the world claiming it’s his duty to keep himself on the planet at all costs long after he’s gone so death doesn’t have to be the end of Kanye -- Kanye’s wife Kim Kardashian has given Kanye permission to double down on himself -- he’s also fascinated by cryogenics and no one would be surprised if he arranges to have himself stored in a chamber when he dies so he can be revived years later 

Page 6: Britney Spears is having another family feud because she wants her dad Jamie Spears suspended immediately from his role as co-conservator of her estate claiming he installed a new business manager to run her $60 million fortune without consulting his daughter in what she brands a blatant attempt to get full functional control of her assets and books and records in the face of Britney’s objections

* Ryan Seacrest is turning into a bloated recluse as career and personal problems have worried pals thinking about an intervention -- he’s so devastated by his breakup with Shayna Taylor and the end of cash cow Keeping Up with the Kardashians that he’s shutting himself away for days on end and ignoring calls from friends and co-workers and only responding to texts and he’s stuffing his face with junk food and sloppy takeout and pizzas and he’s come close to belching on camera a few times 

Page 7: Devastated widow Paulina Porizkova who her bitter husband Ric Ocasek cut out of his will even though she took care of him in his final days suffered a shocking collapse -- she had gone to Costa Rica with her sons for a change of scenery following the death of Ric who was divorcing her -- she says she had a total nervous breakdown in the airport and they had to put her in a wheelchair to take her back to the plane

* Abby Lee Miller is learning to walking again -- the former Dance Moms star had been using a wheelchair after undergoing chemo for Burkitt lymphoma and having life-saving spinal surgery but she’s now cancer-free and recently underwent an elective operation to help regain mobility -- even though Lifetime canned her plan spinoff Abby’s Virtual Dance Off over charges she’s racist she claims to have a scripted show and two reality series in the works 

Page 8: Mike Tyson says he once used a prosthetic penis loaded with his infant son’s pee to pass a drug test during his hard-hitting heyday in the ring and although he swears he never took performance-enhancing drugs he has been blunt about his history of toking weed and snorting cocaine 

* Pioneer Woman Ree Drummond reveals she has a foster son named Jamar -- Ree who has four children explains she couldn’t talk about Jamar until he turned 18 and state agency restrictions no longer applied 

Page 9: Beloved Jeopardy! host Alex Trebek went to his grave harboring a bitter grudge against talk star and game show rival Regis Philbin -- Alex and Regis began their feud in 2000 when Alex slammed Regis’ Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? as a game show for dummies and Regis was deeply hurt by the dig and shot back that face to face if Alex says anything about Millionaire he’d just look him in the eye and say is that your final answer, Alex? 

Page 10: Inside the modern Mafia -- blogs and blunders and killer cops

Page 12: Celebrity Buzz -- Adam Brody shows off his bod in Malibu (picture), Lamar Odom was seemingly back on a marriage track to wed fitness instructor Sabrina Parr next year but Lamar’s engagement was abruptly called off amid ominous sparks of ongoing trouble for the athlete and Sabrina sad she’s no longer able to be by Lamar’s side while he seeks the help he so desperately needs, Mina Starsiak of Good Bones wants a postpartum tummy tuck pronto, things got bristlier than an old broom for Anne Hathaway groveling her way out of massive fan backlash for her appearance on The Witches remake for the insensitive way she portrayed a three-fingered witch with split hands, behind the scenes at The Tonight Show where Jimmy Fallon recently extended his lucrative contract to host the struggling late-night talk show past 2021 but his head writer Rebecca Drysdale lasted six months of butting heads with Jimmy and his cronies before getting dumped 

Page 13: Katie Holmes and boyfriend Emilio Vitolo Jr. (picture), Sean Stewart in a leg cast in Beverly Hills (picture), Busy Philipps puts on lip gloss on the NYC set of Girls5Eva (picture)

Page 14: Dave Grohl got scared stiff recording an upcoming album in an eerie L.A. home reportedly rocking with paranormal activity and when he got nosy about the place’s past he apparently got answers from the landlord along with an NDA form meant to keep him from spilling secrets, RHOBH star Kyle Richards’ half-sister Kathy Hilton is joining the show; socialite Kathy cold-shouldered Kyle and her husband Mauricio Umansky when he left her husband Rick Hilton’s real estate company to launch a rival biz 

* Fashion Verdict -- Jana Kramer 7/10, Michelle Dockery 4/10, Gretta Monahan 3/10, Charlize Theron 2/10

Page 16: Ailing pop star Phil Collins is being so publicly humiliated by his two-timing ex-wife Orianne Cevey who dashed his dreams of a permanent reunion by secretly marrying another guy pals now fear for his life -- Phil is currently battling Orianne in court over his $38.6 million waterside Miami mansion which she and new husband Thomas Bates have now agreed to vacate but Orianne is demanding half of the home insisting Phil promised her a 50 percent share when they moved into it in 2016 -- Orianne also claims that Phil became a hopeless addict in 2017 hooked on booze and pain pills and after two years of drug hell he was incapable of having sex and he stopped showering and brushing his teeth and had become a hermit 

Page 17: Troubled Jonathan Rhys Meyers crashed his car in Malibu and failed a field sobriety test and was slapped with a misdemeanor DUI 

* Teresa Giudice has found new love with business man Louie Ruelas just two months after divorcing deported jailbird Joe Giudice -- the Real Housewives of New Jersey star who has four girls with Joe hooked up with the dad of two and digital marketing whiz and both are very happy 

Page 19: 10 Things You Don’t Know About David Giuntoli 

* Sophia Loren says early in her career she told a director to buzz off when he suggested she surgically alter her nose -- she recalls telling the meddling moviemakers her nose is going to stay there forever and it has a lot of personality 

* Parkinson’s patient Michael J. Fox admits he may be forced to say goodbye to Hollywood because his short-term memory is shot and acting is getting tougher to do 

Page 20: True Crime 

Page 21: Desperate to salvage his tarnished reputation and career Johnny Depp is hoping to hook up with another Hollywood outcast in former co-star Angelina Jolie -- Johnny and Angie first flirted while filming The Tourist in 2010 but at the time Johnny was with Vanessa Paradis and Angie was with Brad Pitt -- Johnny recently reached out to Angie to jumpstart their friendship and he’s been sending her poems written with her in mind and suggestions for book to read and music to listen to and they’ve exchanged a series of emails and texts and talk on the phone quite a bit so Johnny has hope to win her heart and they’re making plans to meet in L.A. very soon but the ball is in Angie’s court and she’s open to having a little fun but don’t count on anything getting too serious 

* Johnny Depp’s career has taken another hit as he’s been axed from the Fantastic Beasts film franchise after a British court determined he beat ex-wife Amber Heard at least a dozen times

Page 24: Cover Story -- Princess Diana was lured to her death by a twisted dirty tricks campaign orchestrated by the palace -- acting at the direction of Queen Elizabeth’s hard-case husband Prince Philip British intelligence officers mounted a clever operation to drive Prince Charles’ emotionally fragile wife to the breaking point and they knew she was frantic and suicidal and vulnerable and played on her worst fears -- Diana’s own brother Charles Spencer has also broken a 25-year silence to expose a plot against the People’s Princess and he reveals forged documents and a whisper campaign hinting at treacherous betrayals fueled her paranoia and desperation and despair and pushed her into a decision that ultimately cost her life 

Page 26: Health Report

Page 30: Rock legend Jerry Lee Lewis vowed to keep wailing ‘til the end but the 85-year-old stroke victim now spends his days listening to his old hits and staring out the window and his health has taken a tragic turn for the worse since he was clobbered by the stroke last year -- he’s hunched over and seems confused and he’s forgetful and can’t remember some of the lyrics to his oldest hits; he tries to play the piano and just can’t because his hands are so stiff and don’t move the way he wants them to 

* Mel B claims she’ll go bankrupt if a judge doesn’t lower the $500,000 she’s been ordered to pay her ex-husband and if the sum isn’t modified she will in all likelihood have to file for bankruptcy -- Mel and ex Stephen Belafonte divorced three years ago and have been slugging it out in court ever since

Page 44: Straight Talk -- lifestyle queen bees Martha Stewart and Gwyneth Paltrow are at each other’s throats but their furious feud is hard to understand because they’re not really in the same business -- Martha is the ultimate homemaker peddling recipes and furnishings and decorating tips while Gwyneth’s New Age-style Goop website is a sleazy sex shop with items normally found in tacky joints along West Hollywood’s sleazy Santa Monica Boulevard 

Page 45: Sinead O’Connor is taking a break to enter a one-year trauma and addiction treatment program after losing a loved one and she admits she’s been addicted to weed for 34 years but became briefly addicted to another drug following her loss

* Sean Connery’s wealthy widow Micheline Roquebrune could end up behind bars and fined a whopping $28 million if convicted of stiffing the Spanish taxman -- the tax-cheat case spans back to 1999 when Sean sold their Marbella mansion on the glitzy Costa del Sol; Connery’s lawyer and the mayor of Marbella and six other elected officials were jailed over a tax-cheat scam involving the property but in 2014 Sean was told he wouldn’t be prosecuted but now Spanish bigwigs say the case has not gone away and want to indict his widow for tax fraud

One year mark

Tomorrow is my mom’s birthday and it’s a marker for one year since I left my last relationship. Tomorrow will also officially be 3 months since Matt moved away. In my last blog, I mentioned that I was PMSing and fought a few times with Matt. I forgot to mention that emotionally, I was at the worst I’ve been in years. I remember for a few hours during work that Friday, I felt so painfully sad. I couldn’t tell him as he was busy working, and I desperately wanted a hug. Even while eating lunch with my work friends and colleagues, I still felt pangs of sadness. I wanted to ask my friends if I could get a hug, but chickened out. Luckily, my friend brought her dog so I was lowkey using him as an emotional support animal lol. I felt much better after walking around and getting some sunlight, though. I laughed recently when my friend told me she took Tylenol when she was feeling sad about this new guy she’s dating. But emotional pain hurts like a bitch. I felt it the worst on Friday, and then a little more over the weekend. I think this emotional stress contributed to my period being late. I was freaking out and stressing out a little that my period hasn’t arrived, then I realized that how I was acting was counterproductive. I needed to relax and stay calm and my body will follow when it’s ready. And, I was so happy when my period finally came yesterday after being late for 6 days.

Fights are worse when you can’t be there to make it up to each other, by giving touch as comfort. But after that trough, I think we improved our communication, learned about ourselves and each other, and grew from it. I definitely feel more emotionally “mature” since he left, for lack of a better term. I look at old stuff I used to get mad at, and I’m thinking oh god why. I think I’ll always have something to be mad at, it just depends on what our situation is that determines how petty or not petty I can be haha. For example, if we both have a lot (relative) of free time, I can nitpick and get annoyed at him being late 10 minutes or saying the wrong thing. Now that he has literally no free time, I have to pick my battles more wisely. He’s been better with keeping himself in check and not taking out his stress on me. I’ve been better in respecting his time more and treating him with the same amount of respect that I treat the doctors at work. I’ve requested that we don’t stay on the line (call or facetime) when we’re just gonna be background noise because I think it’s a waste of time and takes away from both of us using our time more effectively.

Anyway, our flights are booked. Now we are looking into hotels/things to do. As we continue planning, the more excited I am for this trip. We made a reservation for Darjeeling Express, a restaurant featured on chef’s table. It was his idea. When he tried to book it for us over the weekend, the latest option he saw for the one available day we could book was 2:30pm. He would arrive to London at 1:00pm the same day, so it would be super rushed to try and make it. I tried again yesterday and was successful in getting a dinner slot of 6:30pm. I’m not sure what he was seeing on his end because most all the time slots were open when I checked. Me being able to get a reservation made his night. It’s supposed to be cold and rainy both in London and Amsterdam. I don’t think I mind much because then we’ll just have a lazy vacation and get to relax more! Yesterday as we were discussing chase rewards points (he really liked this hotel he found in Amsterdam and wanted to use points to purchase it), he asked me to transfer points to him. You can’t do this unless you’re family or live in the same household. So he said half jokingly, just call them and tell them you’re my sister. Tell them you’re my wife! I got a little happily quiet after that thinking about being his wife and having him refer to me as his wife. Ten minutes later, he brought it up again “You can’t transfer points because you’re not my wife”. It was like he was having fun connecting me to the label wife, or not wife lol.

Over labor day weekend, I hung out with the Laus and Riveras all together for the first time. Everyone’s pretty reserved and easygoing. G’s sisters kinda kept to themselves most of the time, but they’re very accommodating and chill like her. They picked me up from my house. Our car ride was pretty quiet/just music playing and not much chatter. They’re the type who ease up to people slowly, don’t force conversations, aren’t nosy, and get to know people by observing them in their day to day. We met up with the Lau sisters in Mammoth. Had bad food for lunch lol. S tried to facilitate conversation by asking questions and such, which I appreciate. The Airbnb we stayed at was meant to be for 4 people, but luckily the couch was a pull out and we all had a mattress to sleep on! 6 girls in a one bedroom cabin. The Lau sisters stayed in the bedroom, G and I stayed in the bunkbed makeshift “room” that looks like it’s meant for kids (good thing we’re little people), and the Rivera sisters slept on the pull out couch. It felt like college again. We visited the grocery market on both days to find food for dinner/breakfast. We ate in for both dinners because we (I) didn’t want to risk eating bad food again. First night we watched Spiderman into the Spider-verse. Second night we watched (the uncut version of) 50 shades of grey LOL. The movie was dumb but I see how they capitalized on female fantasies. Seeing all the sex scenes made me miss my Mattay.

320: The Unearthly

The first word that comes to mind to describe this movie is 'colourless', which gets an immediate reaction of well, duh, because the movie is of course in black and white.  But above and beyond that, The Unearthly is completely lacking in interest, tension, characters, and everything ese that makes a movie entertaining.  It could have had these things, but apparently it just didn't bother.

Mad Scientist Dr. Charles Conway believes he has discovered the secret to immortality – an artificial gland which, when implanted into the patient's brain, will modulate their hormones to keep them young and fit forever!  So far all his test subjects end up deformed, dead, or unresponsive, but he's determined that he'll get it right if he just keeps trying, and has a friend refer mental patients to him so he can continue to experiment on them.  Then fate throws a wrench in the works, in the form of escaped criminal Mark Houston.  Conway takes Houston in with the idea of blackmailing him, but Houston is actually an undercover police officer, here to expose the whole project.

The Unearthly is a difficult movie to write a summary of, actually, because the story is very unfocused and seems to spend a lot of time wandering aimlessly from scene to scene without actually getting anything done.  This is largely because of the way it handles its characters.  Mark Houston is technically our hero, but we don't meet him until we've already spent almost ten minutes getting to know a completely different character in a way that suggests she will be our protagonist.

The movie begins with Grace Thomas, a woman suffering from mental illness, whose psychologist Dr. Wright has brought her to Conway's quiet little halfway house.  Supposedly this is for treatment, but once Grace is out of the room the two doctors' conversation makes it clear that they intend to fake her death and experiment on her.  All this is dealt with in some detail, and in a way that seems to set Grace up as the audience identification character.  Somebody who watched only these first few minutes would probably guess that the rest of the movie is about Grace discovering that something is wrong and trying to get in touch with her father, whom Wright identifies as her only living family.

This is not the case, though.  Grace goes to bed, Wright heads out to throw her purse in the bay and claim she drowned herself, and then we meet Mark.  For the rest of the film, it will be Mark we follow, as he investigates Conway's nefarious experiments while Grace sits around doing and saying nothing much of interest.  In fact, Grace is a singularly bland character, partly because she's written that way and partly because the actress evinces no interest in her lines whatsoever.  Allison Hayes was in two other MST3K features, The Undead and Gunslinger, as well as a number of other classic b-movies like Attack of the 50-Foot Woman and Zombies of Mora Tau, and this is the worst performance I have ever seen her give.  She sounds like she's bored to tears.

In fact, Grace has less personality than any other member of the cast, including Tor Johnson's Lobo.  The other patients at Conway's retreat include Dan, a man prone to fits of anger, and Natalie, a chipper and trusting young woman looking forward to going home. Conway himself is egotistical and obsessive, and his assistant, Dr. Gilchrist, is professional and a little bit motherly.  Mark is nosy but cautious, as befits his investigative role.  I cannot pick out any personality traits like this for Grace.  She just says lines while staring blankly at the wall.

While Mark may be the hero, we are clearly supposed to feel something for Grace.  The last two people Dr. Conway experimented on came to bad ends, and we're supposed to worry that Grace will be next and Mark will not be in time to save her.  She is such a nonentity, though, that it's almost impossible to care.  We're supposed to want to see a romance blossom between her and Mark, but she's totally apathetic.  We're supposed to believe that she trusts Dr. Conway and comes to him with her problems, but the movie tells us this without bothering to establish it properly. Even when she's supposed to be angry with Mark and ordering him to leave her alone, it just doesn't work.  Nothing around Grace is interesting, and since she is the focal point for other characters throughout the narrative, the movie never has a proper center.  That, however, is merely annoying.  If you want to get angry at this movie, let's talk about portrayals of women and mental illness.

Dr. Conway's patients are explicitly mental patients, perhaps because he claims to need perfect physical specimens for his artificial gland to work.  Mental illness in movies is usually not researched very well, and I don't think The Unearthly was an exception to that, even though it tries to be a little more realistic.  At least it doesn't have anybody who talks to hand puppets or a guy who thinks he's Napoleon – what it's got is Dan, a man who is a bit paranoid and suffers from fits of ranting anger, sometimes needing medication to calm down.  He is presented as something of a joke, and the other characters treat him as if they consider him unreasonable rather than ill – but he is at least allowed to be ill and show symptoms.  The same cannot be said of the women.

Grace is described as having suffered a nervous breakdown and being prone to mood swings: she'll be suddenly afraid, or will break down in tears for no reason, but we never see her behave oddly.  In fact, Grace comes across as calm and collected at all times, and we see no difference in her between the scene where she arrives and the one where Dr. Conway tells her she's made excellent progress. Natalie is presented to us as nearly cured and ready to leave the retreat, so it's not surprising if she shows no symptoms, but she is unable to describe her previous illness as anything other than an inability to 'get herself together'.

So what we have here is two cases of acute Fictional Disease: women in movies are allowed to suffer from terrible illnesses, but only as long as these do not render them unattractive or antisocial.  A woman going into the same kind of rant as Dan would come across as bitchy rather than ill, and would be automatically unsympathetic to a male audience who would associate such behaviour with the stereotype of the nitpicking, nagging wife.  We're supposed to like Grace and Natalie, so their health problems can only manifest in ways that make us want to protect and help them, and actual symptoms are kept discreetly off-camera. At the end of the story, I think we're supposed to assume that Grace's problems will be solved not by a licensed practitioner with years of training, but by the power of Twu Wuv. Evidently people in the 50's still accepted the Victorian idea that all women's health issues can be solved by a generous application of dick.

Then there's the way Dr. Conway behaves towards Grace.  At their first appointment, he tells this sick woman who has been committed to his care that she looks lovely, and that “if I were Rembrandt I would paint a portrait of you”.  He claims that many women would envy her and that her looks and charm make her worthy of attention and protection.  Perhaps if Grace is suffering from low self-esteem these are things she needs to hear, but they come across as deeply creepy and unprofessional, and the worst part is that I can't actually tell if the movie wants us to find them so.

There was a similar dynamic, with a mad scientist hitting on his patient while the female assistant became jealous, in Atom Age Vampire, but in that movie it was explicitly manipulative and wrong.  The Unearthly, however, is much more neutral in its presentation of this material.  It just sits back and watches, without placing a value judgment, and Dr. Gilchrist's condemnation of the behaviour is much milder than that of her counterpart in Atom Age Vampire.  Later Dr. Conway laments the fact that Grace has 'turned on him', suggesting that he did in fact have feelings for her... in which case, perhaps we're meant to think he was expressing honest affection?  Whatever the case, it's gross.

The Unearthly's single greatest moment of misogyny, however, comes courtesy of Dr. Wright.  In order to facilitate Grace's disappearance, Dr. Wright throws some of her possessions into the sea in order to suggest she committed suicide in her depression.  Not long after, he finds himself in a similar pickle when another vanished patient's sister turns up on his doorstep – Wright calls Conway to ask what to do, and Conway tells him to simply make out a death certificate for the man, who has been in a coma since the experiment anyway.  Wright, who personally came up with the plan to fake Grace's suicide, is horrified.

There are only two possibilities I can come up with to explain this contradiction.  Either the screenwriter just couldn't keep track of which characters were willing to do what in the name of science – or Dr. Wright is just fine with faking the death of a woman, whose life doesn't matter, but repulsed by the thought of doing it for a man, whose does.  I think it's just shitty writing, but I can't be sure.

The Unearthly really could have been much better than it is, but it did just about everything wrong.  The idea of a mad scientist experimenting on mental patients because he knows anything they say will not be believed is one that could work, but is never explored.  Conway's basement full of possibly-immortal monsters could have been used to much better effect.  Mark's assumed persona of criminal on the run wondering what he's gotten into was far more interesting than his actual role turned out to be.  Grace would have been a way better character if she'd ever done something. Anything.  In the end, the movie simply misses every opportunity it had, and the result is as dull as a bowl of plain oatmeal.  Like I said, colourless.

by Barbara Waldinger

What is the purpose of producing a classic play that has already been revived many times onstage and on film?  Some people say that it’s to give a new generation of theatregoers the opportunity to see an important work.  Others insist that it’s to give a director and his/her team of artists a chance to reinterpret the play.  But when a production feels as though it’s tinkering with a masterpiece in a failed attempt to update it, we fear a lack of trust in the original text.  Such is the case with Robert O’Hara’s staging of Lorraine Hansberry’s A Raisin in the Sun, now running at the Williamstown Theatre Festival.

A Raisin in the Sun debuted at the Ethel Barrymore Theatre sixty years ago—the first play by an African-American woman to be produced on Broadway.  In a recent interview with The Berkshire Eagle, O’Hara reflected:  “I think all classic plays should be treated as new plays.  We’re not in 1959. . . If you want a museum piece, you can go to the museum. . . I’m looking at how we see this family in 2019.”  He added, however, that he thinks the play is brilliant and “If you dislike every choice we make in this play. . . it’s still powerful,” because neither the language nor the story has been changed.  He turns out to be right about that because despite O’Hara’s attempts to leave his personal stamp on this play, the humanity of Hansberry’s work endures.

The playwright’s theme is best expressed in Langston Hughes in his poem Dream Deferred, the first stanza of which provided her with the title of her play:

“What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up

Like a raisin in the sun?

Or fester like a sore—

And then run?”

Each member of the Younger family, denizens of a cramped, cockroach-ridden apartment on Chicago’s Southside in the early 1950s, embraces a dream:  the matriarch, Lena Younger (S. Epatha Merkerson), a domestic worker who cleans houses, wants her children to get along and lead contented lives, preferably in a house with a yard that would accommodate them all comfortably.  Her son, the chauffeur Walter Lee (Francois Battiste), dreams of buying a liquor store that will lift him and his family out of poverty; Walter’s wife Ruth (Mandi Masden), a maid, desperately wants to move out of the “rat trap” they live in.  Lena’s daughter, Beneatha (Nikiya Mathis), a college student, is determined to attend medical school.  The arrival of Lena’s late husband’s $10,000 life insurance check serves as the inciting incident; whose dream, if any, will be fulfilled?

Hansberry’s beautifully written, well-made play introduced cultural and racial issues that African-Americans still face today.  Quoted in Steven Carter’s book, Hansberry’s Drama:  Commitment amid Complexity, the playwright said:  “from the moment the first curtain goes up until the Youngers make their decision at the end, the fact of racial oppression. . . is through the play.  It’s inescapable.  The reason these people are in a ghetto in America is because they are Negroes.  They are discriminated against brutally and horribly. . . The three generations of the Younger family depicted in the play differ in dreams, speech patterns, and religious, musical, and stylistic preferences. . . Yet they are unified in their heroic defiance of white hostility and threats. . . the test that [they] face is of their willingness to take potentially fatal risks to get out of an intolerable situation and to force change upon an oppressive system.”  Hansberry even provides Lena with a physical representation of that struggle:  a plant that has to fight for its life to attract a bit of light from the tiniest of windows.

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The choices O’Hara mentioned in his interview include the following:  combining three acts into two, eliminating the need for two intermissions, which is helpful in a play of this length; he also ramps up family arguments by directing his actors to talk over each other, resulting in our inability to distinguish what they are saying.  This is a disservice to the playwright’s words.  The director inserts an unnecessary character, Lena’s deceased husband, who goes uncredited in the program because he doesn’t appear in Hansberry’s script.  Underscoring the strong influence his memory has on the family, the ghost haunts several of the scenes in which Lena recalls the difficult life he led as he struggled to provide for his family.  Accompanying his mute appearance is a sound that might best be described as a whistling wind—could this be a visual and aural reference to the ancestors of the family, many of them slaves?  The use of a voice enhancement technique that serves as an echo chamber is also unsettling, as is the shock-inducing final tableau.  Although Hansberry’s text certainly did not ignore the problems that the Youngers would face if they moved into a house in a white neighborhood, O’Hara’s dark ending eliminates any sliver of hope.  Would the playwright approve?

The cast is spotty.  The very talented S. Epatha Merkerson, playing Lena (Mama) the powerful, religious head of the family, is miscast here.  In an interview with The Berkshire Eagle, she explains:  “I don’t have the girth that some of the women who have played this part have, but I don’t think that makes a difference in explaining who this woman is.”  It is not girth in the literal sense that is missing in her performance but the depth of Lena’s passion and hard-earned wisdom, born from a lifetime of suffering, that give her words the poetry and dignity of the mighty woman that Hansberry has created.  In this production, it is Mandi Masden’s Ruth who expresses that passion when she finally says goodbye to the miserable conditions in which the family lives, giving the act break the heft that it needs.  Nikiya Mathis is fine as Beneatha, whose journey to establish her identity leads her from a selfish dabbler to a woman who sees beyond her own needs.

Francois Battiste as Walter Lee, whose aspirations are frustrated at every turn, focuses on the negative aspects of the character—his drunkenness, his constant rage, his resentment, the inability to see the hurt he inflicts on the people who love him, which makes it hard for us to believe in him as Mama does.  Joseph Asagai (Joshua Echebiri) and George Murchison (Kyle Beltran) are Beneatha’s diametrically opposed boyfriends. Echebiri lights up the stage as a proud African whose mission is to help his people, hopefully with Beneatha at his side, while Beltran portrays an assimilationist who seeks to erase every trace of blackness in his and his girlfriend’s heritage. Warner Miller’s characterization of Bobo, Walter Lee’s partner in the liquor store investment, raises questions when he affects a lack of concern about the theft of their money.  Eboni Flowers is entertaining but distracting in her over-the-top caricature of a nosy, nonstop-talking neighbor.  Joe Goldammer, as the white community association representative who warns the family that segregation is the only way for the races to get along, offers a fast-talking interpretation that might have benefitted by a slower attempt to justify his argument.  Finally, young Owen Tabaka rounds out the cast as Travis, the son of Walter Lee and Ruth.

Scenic designer Clint Ramos had to figure out, not altogether successfully, how to construct a crowded, basically one-room apartment, while finding space for the actors to move, as well as fulfilling the difficult demands of the production’s ending.  Costume designer Alice Tavener’s costumes are colorful and beautiful to look at but seem too expensive for this poor family to afford.  Elisheba Ittoop’s sound design expresses the differing tastes of the characters, their backgrounds, and the various types of music popular in the time period, while Alex Jainchill’s lighting design, along with the music, helps to maintain the fluidity of the scenes.

Audience members who are not familiar with the play should not miss the opportunity to see Hansberry’s astute and timeless work, that neither age nor tinkering can diminish.  Imagine how prolific this playwright could have been if she had not lost her battle with cancer at the age of thirty-four, six years after A Raisin in the Sun opened.

  A Raisin in the Sun runs from June 25—July 13.  Tickets may be purchased online at wtfestival.org or call 413-458-3253.

Williamstown Theatre Festival presents A Raisin in the Sun by Lorraine Hansberry.  Directed by Robert O’Hara.  Cast:  Mandi Masden (Ruth Younger), Owen Tabaka (Travis Younger), Francois Battiste (Walter Lee Younger), Nikiya Mathis (Beneatha Younger), S. Epatha Merkerson (Lena Younger [Mama]), Joshua Echebiri (Joseph Asagai), Kyle Beltran (George Murchison), Eboni Flowers (Mrs. Johnson), Joe Goldammer (Karl Lindner), Warner Miller (Bobo).

Scenic Design:  Clint Ramos; Costume Design:  Alice Tavener; Lighting Design:  Alex Jainchill; Sound Design:  Elisheba Ittoop; Hair and Wig Design:  Elizabeth Printz; Co-Fight and Intimacy Directors:  Claire Warden and Judi Lewis Ockler; Dialect Coach:  Barbara Rubin; Production Stage Manager:  Stephen Ravet.

Running Time:  Two hours 50 minutes, including intermission.  Williamstown Theatre Festival, Mainstage, 1000 Main Street, Williamstown, MA., from June 25; closing July 13. https://wtfestival.org/

  REVIEW: “A Raisin in the Sun” at the Williamstown Theatre Festival by Barbara Waldinger What is the purpose of producing a classic play that has already been revived many times onstage and on film? 

The Fate of Country or Nation or Corporation or Organization or Association and so on equals the Fate of its human President or Leader or Owner or Director or Chairman or Chairwoman 國家或公司或機構或團體或社團或組織或協會等的命運等於其人類總統或領導人或所有者或董事長或主席的命運 The Death of Nazi Germany equals the Death of its human Leader Adolf Hitler 納粹德國之滅亡等於其人類領導人阿道夫希特勒之死亡 The Death of Ming Dynasty China equals the Death of its last human Emperor Chongzhen 中國明朝之滅亡等於其最後一位人類崇禎皇帝之死亡 The Fate of the Attack on Pearl Harbor of United States on December 7,1941 equals the Fate of its human President Franklin D. Roosevelt (born January 30,1882) on the same day 1941年12月7日襲擊美國珍珠港的命運等於其人類總統富蘭克林•羅斯福(生於1882年1月30日)在同一天的命運 [The General Conclusive Summary and Side-Fortune scores of Bi-Hour Time on this Day - December 7, 1941 of Franklin D. Roosevelt (born January 30, 1882) and U.S.] [富蘭克林•羅斯福(生於1882年1月30日)及美國在1941年12月7日這一天的總結論摘要及兩小時段之偏財幸運財運分數] Event Subject/Object 事件主題/對象:  (Remark 1備註一) Love/Marriage/Couple 愛情/婚姻/夫妻Career/Job/Earnings 事業/職業/賺的錢Career/Job/Earnings 事業/職業/賺的錢Love/Marriage/Couple 愛情/婚姻/夫妻 Happiness/Hardship 幸福/閒暇/辛苦Place Move/Far Away 移位/遠離/出門Money/Foods/Income 金錢/食物/收入Self/Birth Place 自己/出生地/住所 Event Direction 事件方位:  (Remark 2備註二) NorthWest to West 西北向西方SouthEast to East 東南向東方NorthEast to East 東北向東方South 南方 Active Fortunes 活躍財祿: Easy/Annoying Income/Earnings via Problem solved/Competition輕鬆/有困惱之收入/解決問題/競爭所賺得財祿Fortune Score 財富分數: 100 Active Misfortunes 活躍不吉不利: 總結論 Conclusion - 查詢日期 Search Date (出生日期及兩小時段 Birth Date & Bi-Hour Time/性別 Gender) 1941/12/07 (1882/01/30/#.. BiHour …………/1 Male 男性) ( T 0 )( S 0 )  (Remark 3備註三)#01Δ 0 M#02Δ 0 M #03   0 $4 M #04   0 $5 M #05Δ 0 M     (Remark 4備註四)#06   0 $2 $4 $5 M #07   0 M #08Δ 0 M     (Remark 5備註五)#09Δ 0 $4 M #10   0 M #11Δ 0 M #12Δ 0 $2 $4 $5 M Δ - 活躍的兩小時段 Active Bi-Hour Time (Remark 1備註一)Place Move/Far Away means from the Far Away JapanHappiness/Hardship means Event of Hard WarCareer/Job means Career/Job of War 移位/遠離/出門 代表從遠方日本而來幸福/閒暇/辛苦 代表辛苦戰爭事件事業/職業 代表戰爭事業/職業 (Remark 2備註二)NorthWest to West means from Japan Direction西北向西方 代表從日本方位而來 (Remark 3備註三)( T 0 ) is not a good Day! The Total Fortune Score is Zero!( T 0 ) 不是好日子! 財運總分數是零! (Remark 4備註四)  Δ - 活躍的兩小時段 Active Bi-Hour Time#05 Bi-Hour AM 07:00–AM 09:00 (Morning 早上)The Attack started at 07:48 a.m. (Morning 早上)襲擊開始於早上07:48 a.m. (Remark 5備註五)  Δ - 活躍的兩小時段 Active Bi-Hour Time#08 Bi-Hour PM 13:00–PM 15:00 (Afternoon 下午)The Attack was retreated at 13:30 p.m. (Afternoon 下午)襲擊撤退於下午13:30 p.m. The Fate of the September 11 Attacks in New York City of United States on September 11,2001 equals the Fate of its human President George W. Bush (born July 6,1946) on the same day 2001年9月11日美國紐約市911襲擊事件的命運等於其人類總統喬治•布希(生於1946年7月6日)在同一天的命運 [The General Conclusive Summary and Side-Fortune scores of Bi-Hour Time on this Day - September 11, 2001 of George W. Bush (born July 6, 1946) and U.S.] [喬治•布希(生於1946年7月6日)及美國在2001年9月11日這一天的總結論摘要及兩小時段之偏財幸運財運分數] Event Subject/Object 事件主題/對象:  (Remark 1備註一) Place Move/Far Away 移位/遠離/出門Self/Birth Place 自己/出生地/住所Body/Health/Illness 身體/健康/疾病(Grand)Parent/Elder (祖)父母/長輩 Love/Marriage/Couple 愛情/婚姻/夫妻Happiness/Hardship 幸福/閒暇/辛苦Brother/Sister (堂/表)兄弟/姊妹Home/House/Land 家/宅/土地/不動產 Event Direction 事件方位:  (Remark 2備註二) South 南方North 北方NorthWest to West 西北向西方NorthEast to East 東北向東方 Active Fortunes 活躍財祿: Regular Income/Income by Female or Night規律性收入/女人財祿或夜間財祿Fortune Score 財富分數: 100 Progressive/Military/Political/Financial/Technical Earnings進步/軍武職/政治/金融/專業技術所增加財祿Fortune Score 財富分數: 100 Better Performance or Reputation/Income by Male or Day更佳事業表現或增加名譽/男人財祿或日間財祿Fortune Score 財富分數: 100 Active Misfortunes 活躍不吉不利:  (Remark 3備註三) Unfavorable Situation against the Government, Organization, School/Hospitalization/Criminal Charge and Administrative Disputes/Prison/Law Violation and Fine/Penalty/Car Accident/Easy Gamble Loss/Detention/Money Loss of Illicit Love/Prisoner/Rebellion/Debauchery冒犯官署機構學校/入醫院治療/刑訟官非/行政是非/牢獄/違規罰單/罰鍰/車禍/容易賭輸/拘留/桃花損財/受囚/叛逆/浪蕩Misfortune Score 不吉不利分數: 100 Unfavorable Quarrel, Dispute and Defamation/Annoying Affections/Unfavorable Situation for Parent/Social Intercourse and Money Conflict/Law Suit for Money/Trouble/Nosy/Ill Speeking/Offending People不利的口角爭論與是非誹謗/感情困擾/不利於父母之狀況/人際錢財口舌是非/因財爭訟/麻煩事/管閒事/講話不好聽/得罪人Misfortune Score 不吉不利分數: 100 總結論 Conclusion - 查詢日期 Search Date (出生日期及兩小時段 Birth Date & Bi-Hour Time/性別 Gender) 2001/09/11 (1946/07/06/#.. BiHour …………/1 Male 男性) ( T 322 )( S 100 ) D   P   N   C2   I2 I3   (Remark 4備註四)#01   100 #02Δ 100 * M #03   100 $1 $4 M #04Δ 200 +++ Positive Time 正向時間 * M   (Remark 5備註五)#05   100 #06   100 $4 * M #07   200 +++ Positive Time 正向時間 M #08Δ 200 +++ Positive Time 正向時間 * M #09   0 --- Negative Time 負向時間 $1 $4 M #10Δ 200 +++ Positive Time 正向時間 * M #11   100 M #12Δ 100 $4 * M Δ - 活躍的兩小時段 Active Bi-Hour Time (Remark 1備註一)Place Move/Far Away means from the Far Away EnemyHappiness/Hardship means Event of Hard WarBody/Health/Illness means Death, Injuries and Health IssuesHome/House/Land means World Trade Center and Pentagon 移位/遠離/出門 代表從遠方來的敵人幸福/閒暇/辛苦 代表辛苦戰爭事件身體/健康/疾病 代表死傷及健康問題家/宅/土地/不動產 代表世貿中心與五角大廈 (Remark 2備註二)NorthEast to East means from the Logan International Airport Boston Direction東北向東方 代表從波士頓羅根國際機場方位而來 (Remark 3備註三)Events of Unfavorable Situation against the Government /Hospitalization/Criminal Charge/Prison/Car Accident/Rebellion/Trouble冒犯官署/入醫院治療/刑訟/牢獄/車禍/叛逆/麻煩事事件 (Remark 4備註四)D means the Life Dangerous DayD代表生命危險日 (Remark 5備註五)  Δ - 活躍的兩小時段 Active Bi-Hour Time#04 Bi-Hour AM 05:00–AM 07:00 (Dawn 黎明破曉)The Hijackers arrived at Logan Airport Boston and started the attack plan at 05:59 a.m. (Dawn 黎明破曉), two hours before the American Airlines Flight 11 (a Boeing 767 aircraft) departed Logan Airport Boston at 7:59 a.m.劫機者於美國航空11號班機 (一架波音767客機) 在黎明破曉7:59 a.m.飛離波士頓羅根國際機場前2小時之 05:59 a.m. (Dawn 黎明破曉) 抵達波士頓羅根國際機場並開始襲擊計劃, The Fate of the third largest daily point Gains of Dow Jones Index of United States on March 26,2018 equals the Fate of its human President Donald Trump (born June 14,1946) on the same day 2018年3月26日美國道瓊工業平均指數第三高單日上漲點數的命運等於其人類總統唐納•川普(生於1946年6月14日)在同一天的命運 [The General Conclusive Summary and Side-Fortune scores of Bi-Hour Time on this Day - March 26,2018 of Donald Trump (born June 14,1946) and U.S.] [唐納•川普(生於1946年6月14日)及美國在2018年3月26日這一天的總結論摘要及兩小時段之偏財幸運財運分數] Event Subject/Object 事件主題/對象:  (Remark 1備註一) Self/Birth Place 自己/出生地/住所Place Move/Far Away 移位/遠離/出門Home/House/Land 家/宅/土地/不動產Children/Adult Sex 子女/成年人性事 Career/Job/Earnings 事業/職業/賺的錢Money/Foods/Income 金錢/食物/收入Body/Health/Illness 身體/健康/疾病Brother/Sister (堂/表)兄弟/姊妹 Event Direction 事件方位: North 北方South 南方SouthEast to East 東南向東方SouthWest to West 西南向西方 Active Fortunes 活躍財祿:  (Remark 2備註二) Job Promotion/Earnings via Government/Organization/Hospital職務高昇/經官署機構醫院所賺得財祿Fortune Score 財富分數: 30 Fortune of Wisdom/In and Out Flowing Fortune聰明智慧財祿/流動而又進又出的財祿Fortune Score 財富分數: 170 Regular Income/Income by Female or Night規律性收入/女人財祿或夜間財祿Fortune Score 財富分數: 100 Better Performance or Reputation/Income by Male or Day更佳事業表現或增加名譽/男人財祿或日間財祿Fortune Score 財富分數: 50 Active Misfortunes 活躍不吉不利: Unfavorable Situation for Father, Husband, Son, Male Relatives and Career/Hard Working/Hardship/Quarrel/Eye Fatigue or Pain/Bad Mood/Depressed Annoyance不利於父親先生兒子男性親友及事業之狀況/辛勞工作/勞碌/口舌是非/眼睛疲勞或疼痛/心情惡劣/氣惱鬱悶Misfortune Score 不吉不利分數: 30 Unfavorable Situation for Mother, Wife, Daughter, and Female Relatives/Loss of Fortune/Unknown Loss/Difficulty to Tell in Mind/Misery/Worry of House/No Wealth/Unstable Fortune and Unknown Loss of Money不利於母親太太女兒女性親友之狀況/損財/吃暗虧/難言心事/苦不堪言/為宅煩心/無財/財運波折暗損財Misfortune Score 不吉不利分數: 170 Unfavorable Situation against the Government, Organization, School/Hospitalization/Criminal Charge and Administrative Disputes/Prison/Law Violation and Fine/Penalty/Car Accident/Easy Gamble Loss/Detention/Money Loss of Illicit Love/Prisoner/Rebellion/Debauchery冒犯官署機構學校/入醫院治療/刑訟官非/行政是非/牢獄/違規罰單/罰鍰/車禍/容易賭輸/拘留/桃花損財/受囚/叛逆/浪蕩Misfortune Score 不吉不利分數: 50 總結論 Conclusion - 查詢日期 Search Date (出生日期及兩小時段 Birth Date & Bi-Hour Time/性別 Gender) 2018/03/26 (1946/06/14/#.. BiHour …………/1 Male 男性) ( T 299.6 )( S 100 )   R V P   G N   B C C2   I I2   (Remark 3備註三)#01   200 +++ Positive Time 正向時間 $5 M #02   100 M #03   100 $4 $5 M #04Δ 100 M #05   10 --- Negative Time 負向時間 M #06Δ 100 $3 $4 M   (Remark 4備註四)#07   200 +++ Positive Time 正向時間 #08Δ 100 M #09   190 +++ Positive Time 正向時間 $4 M #10Δ 200 +++ Positive Time 正向時間 $1 M #11   70 --- Negative Time 負向時間 #12Δ 160 +++ Positive Time 正向時間 $1 $3 $4 M Δ - 活躍的兩小時段 Active Bi-Hour Time (Remark 1備註一)Place Move/Far Away means Outdoor MartketCareer/Job/Earnings means Capital MarketMoney/Foods/Income means Stock Market移位/遠離/出門 代表戶外市場事業/職業/賺的錢 代表資本市場金錢/食物/收入 代表股票市場 (Remark 2備註二)Earnings via Organization/Fortune of Wisdom/In and Out Flowing Fortune/Better Performance/Income by Day經機構所賺得財祿/聰明智慧財祿/流動而又進又出的財祿/更佳事業表現/日間財祿 (Remark 3備註三)( T 299.6 ) is the Best Day! The Total Fortune Score is Over 80!( T 299.6 ) 是最佳日! 財運總分數是大於80!G  The Good Day for the Help from HeavenN  The Fortune Delivery Angel DayThe God of Wealth helps you to deliver your own personal destined Fortune to be yoursG  天助吉日N  運財天使日財神爺幫忙搬運您自己私人命中注定的財富入財日 (Remark 4備註四)  Δ - 活躍的兩小時段 Active Bi-Hour Time#06 Bi-Hour AM 09:00–AM 11:00 (Morning 早上)The third largest daily point Gains of Dow Jones Index started at 09:00 a.m. (Morning 早上)美國道瓊工業平均指數第三高單日上漲點數開始於早上09:00 a.m. The Fate of the third largest daily point Losses of Dow Jones Index of United States on October 10,2018 equals the Fate of its human President Donald Trump (born June 14,1946) on the same day 2018年10月10日美國道瓊工業平均指數第三高單日下跌點數的命運等於其人類總統唐納•川普(生於1946年6月14日)在同一天的命運 [The General Conclusive Summary and Side-Fortune scores of Bi-Hour Time on this Day - October 10,2018 of Donald Trump (born June 14,1946) and U.S.] [唐納•川普(生於1946年6月14日)及美國在2018年10月10日這一天的總結論摘要及兩小時段之偏財幸運財運分數] Event Subject/Object 事件主題/對象:  (Remark 1備註一) Brother/Sister (堂/表)兄弟/姊妹Friend/Society/Mutuality 朋友/交往/互助Love/Marriage/Couple 愛情/婚姻/夫妻Career/Job/Earnings 事業/職業/賺的錢 Home/House/Land 家/宅/土地/不動產Body/Health/Illness 身體/健康/疾病Happiness/Hardship 幸福/閒暇/辛苦Place Move/Far Away 移位/遠離/出門 Event Direction 事件方位: NorthWest to North 西北向北方SouthEast to South 東南向南方East 東方SouthWest to South 西南向南方 Active Fortunes 活躍財祿: Fortune of Wisdom/In and Out Flowing Fortune聰明智慧財祿/流動而又進又出的財祿Fortune Score 財富分數: 100 Guest-Meals/Foods/Earnings by Sales/Speech/Service/Side Job客飯/食物或靠銷售/言語/服務/兼職所賺得財祿Fortune Score 財富分數: 40 Easy/Annoying Income/Earnings via Problem solved/Competition輕鬆/有困惱之收入/解決問題/競爭所賺得財祿Fortune Score 財富分數: 160 Active Misfortunes 活躍不吉不利:  (Remark 2備註二) Unfavorable Brain Thought/Hard Thinking/Unfavorable Situation for Hands, Feet and Nerve/Sensitive Manner/Sheer Dead-End-Alley Stubbornness/Change/Headache/Hard Brain Work/To Bungle an Ingenious Scheme into Trouble/Lack of Wisdom/Paralysis/Money Rolling In and Out不利的腦力思考/辛苦思考/不利於手腳及神經之狀況/敏感/鑽牛角尖/變動/頭痛/傷腦筋/弄巧成拙增麻煩/不聰明/麻痺/錢財滾動進出Misfortune Score 不吉不利分數: 100 Unfavorable Documentation or Governmental Paper on Penalty of Fine/Unfavorable Situation for Documents/Home Moving/Change/No Reading/Unreasonable Manner/Disliking Ritual/Sullen Feeling/Sleepless and Restless Working/Being Easy to be Deceived/To Strictly Obey or Disobey the Regulations不利的文書或官署罰鍰罰單/不利於文書之狀況/搬家/變動/不讀書/不明事理/不好禮樂/苦悶/不眠不休/易遭人騙/嚴守或不守規定Misfortune Score 不吉不利分數: 40 Loss of Fortune/Lonely Time/Injury/Loss of Money/Expenditure/To Hold a Knife or a Gun for Money/Financial Troubles or Disputes/Loneliness/Stubbornness/Cheerless Mood/To Take Things too Hard損財/孤寂的時刻/受傷/破財/耗財/因財持刀或槍/財務煩惱是非爭端糾紛/孤單寂寞/固執/心情不開朗/想不開Misfortune Score 不吉不利分數: 160 總結論 Conclusion - 查詢日期 Search Date (出生日期及兩小時段 Birth Date & Bi-Hour Time/性別 Gender) 2018/10/10 (1946/06/14/#.. BiHour …………/1 Male 男性) ( T 0 )( S 140 ) D X    (Remark 3備註三)#01   190 +++ Positive Time 正向時間 * M #02   100 --- Negative Time 負向時間 $3 X M #03Δ 160 +++ Positive Time 正向時間 $4 X * M #04   160 +++ Positive Time 正向時間 #05Δ 140 * M #06Δ 40 --- Negative Time 負向時間 $3 $4 X M  (Remark 4備註四)#07Δ 140 X M #08Δ 80 --- Negative Time 負向時間 #09   200 +++ Positive Time 正向時間 $4 X * M #10   140 $3 X M #11Δ 160 +++ Positive Time 正向時間 X M #12Δ 200 +++ Positive Time 正向時間 $3 $4 X M Δ - 活躍的兩小時段 Active Bi-Hour Time (Remark 1備註一)Place Move/Far Away means Outdoor MartketCareer/Job/Earnings means Capital MarketHappiness/Hardship means Hard Losses of Stock Market移位/遠離/出門 代表戶外市場事業/職業/賺的錢 代表資本市場幸福/閒暇/辛苦代表股票辛苦損失市場 (Remark 2備註二)Money Rolling In and Out/Unfavorable Situation for Documents(Stocks)/Change/Loss of Fortune/Loss of Money/Financial Troubles/Cheerless Mood/To Take Things too Hard錢財滾動進出/不利於文書(股票)之狀況/變動/損財/破財/財務煩惱/心情不開朗/想不開 (Remark 3備註三)( T 0 ) is not a good Day! The Total Fortune Score is Zero!D means the Life Dangerous DayX  The Troublesome (Including Hospitalization or Penalty) or Money-Spending (Including Loss or Unfortunate Matter)( T 0 ) 不是好日子! 財運總分數是零!D代表生命危險日X  麻煩(含去醫院或罰單等)或金錢花費支出(含破財或不利等)事件 (Remark 4備註四)  Δ - 活躍的兩小時段 Active Bi-Hour Time#06 Bi-Hour AM 09:00–AM 11:00 (Morning 早上)The third largest daily point Losses of Dow Jones Index started at 09:00 a.m. (Morning 早上)---  Negative Time means not a Good Bi-Hour TimeX  The Troublesome (Including Hospitalization or Penalty) or Money-Spending (Including Loss or Unfortunate Matter) Bi-Hour Time美國道瓊工業平均指數第三高單日下跌點數開始於早上09:00 a.m.--- 負向時間 代表不是一個好的兩小時段時間X  麻煩(含去醫院或罰單等)或金錢花費支出(含破財或不利等)事件之時辰 http://myfatedata.com http://myfatebook.com