carbon monoxide

Cont.

I realize all of the things that I do, and I know my family would never be able to be okay if something were to happen to me, and that’s something here or not, I couldn’t bare to make anyone else feel. I wouldn’t wish this feeling that I feel myself upon my worst enemy. But I do wish I could get someone to understand, to tell me I’m not fucking crazy. To tell me that yeah there’s more to life then what you feel right now, but you’re actually going to get there someday. I keep trying to tell myself these things but all I’m realizing is that I’m not enough to help myself. I’m not helping myself. I don’t think I’m making myself worse, but being trapped in my own mind and my own head is not helping. I just want a way out. From here and from the world. How can I even explain these things and get them out? I don’t know. I don’t know how to tell anyone about this and I don’t know where to start or stop. I’m hurting so much inside and I can’t even tell my closest people because i feel that I make no sense. All I’ll ever hear is “you’re fine, you’re blessed, over reacting, it’s more to life then this, you’ll be ok, good days and bad days come.” You see, I get that. I understand all that. But my mind, there’s nocgood and bad days. There’s just a dark cloud over me that follows me everywhere. That I have to take along with me everywhere I go. It’s clouded my judgement, it’s made me become lazy, it’s made me become unmotivated. It makes me feel like I’m nothing and the chances of me being something one day are slim to none. Who would ever wanna be stuck with someone who feels this way? I’d never even fix my mouth to start telling the guy I love about this because what if he thinks I’m just over reacting or I’m a lunatic like everybody else. What if he thinks I just take shit to seriously and I don’t know when to stop thinking. I wish I could be careless, I wish I could be free of these feelings and thoughts. I always think about the fact that this will probably last forever and I’ll never be okay. I don’t want that. I don’t want it to be the reason that one day I’m not here, or one day it’s the reason I’m all alone and isolated. I just want to feel okay.

couldn’t resist the call of drawin a bunch of characters

don’t light my fire!!!

#3 !! with a creature should you feel inspired :DDD

calculation theme by metric

i will dream that someday you’ll be really close to me …..

no triple trucies

yeah and if you listen to the whole lavender town song you’ll go CRAZY

art request?? maybeee a unicorn but there’s something a bit wrong with it

chernobyl unicorn who sees thrice as many stars

i want to die easy when i die

yamato - gift for my sister :-)

keybeast 2

spotify thingy, 64, harry dubois :3

meticulous bird by thao & the get down stay down

stupid bird

some kind of guy

would you like to draw pearl the bard ! you take double life pearl. give back her blue eyes. clean her up a bit. and then she gets a guitar ^_^

yeah babey!!!!!