I woke up with a fkn fever.

I’m calling it the “Star Wars effect”

I will never recover from the bad batch s2 finale.

We really ignoring Horobi murdering Izu who not trying to kill him and the fact while he didn’t started this cycle. He sure as hell doing himself no favors by murdering Izu who Artuo closet ally and act all surprised when Artuo hate him. Not acknowledging he the cause for this malice in Artuo. Should Artuo still try to get though to him even though he murder Izu who got no back up compare to Jin who died before and can very well be bought back again?

…

Uh.

Can I just ask… Why are you on my blog? It’s not like I’ve been subtle about my love for Horobi. And you must be on my blog bc I’m pretty sure I haven’t put any of those thoughts in the main tag, and have been carefully tagging them as complaining/negativity/opinions/salt.

1) I’m not saying Horobi was ‘right,’ I’m saying he isn’t in a sane place right now and this wasn’t a ‘cold blooded murder,’ esp bc I’m pretty sure he understands that he regrets it now. He’s been trained for more than ten years to respond to things w/ extremity and violence, as evidenced by the Ark having him repeatedly take out or try to take out things/people that were making him feel in any way—what happened w/ Midori, why he was driven to attack Jin in 41. From Horobi’s extremely damaged and fucked up perspective, he just wanted to make the pain and confusion go away. He didn’t try to hunt out Izu, she approached him, and knowingly endangered herself. Which is why I’m also calling the fact that we’ve seen Izu move faster than a car, she could have dodged the shot and didn’t, so it’s ineffective as drama bc it was easily preventable. I’m calling bs on the writing.

2) Horobi’s definitely not surprised that Aruto hates him? He might be surprised that Aruto went full Ark (I am, too, that feels out of character, I would’ve expected him to just go regular berserk on his own). I’m not saying it’s wrong for Aruto to be mad. Like I just said, I would have expected him to go berserk on his own, which might have ended up leading to Jin’s death anyway. Like… Where did you get that. Actually don’t answer that. Aruto getting angry and going after Horobi would have been one thing, though the way he went Ark is weird to me. What bugs me is the way it’s being treated/reacted to as a ‘black and white’ situation when it should be more grey. Horobi is mentally unwell, and there were multiple factors at work/responsible for the situation. This isn’t just ‘Horobi is a bad person it’s all his fault.’ This is also ‘contrived drama by the writers who are hoping we forgot Izu can break land-speed records.’

2.5) I’m not expecting Aruto to reach out to him at this point. Hell, I’m not even saying ‘forgive’ him, even though I think by this point Horobi has figured out he regrets it. What should really happen is someone else intervenes and keeps them away from each other until both are more stable. Really, someone should have stepped in to control that on both ends. Aruto shouldn’t have been left alone. Neither of them should have. I do think more effort should have gone into reaching out to him before it happened. If they hadn’t been alone in there/if someone w/ a little more ‘emotional/mental experience’ had been present, things might’ve gone differently.

3) Izu still not having a back up is ridiculous, literally everyone knows Aruto is Zero-One, this feels like just terrible planning/lack lustre writing imo, and on top of that, Horobi didn’t know she had no backup. Still doesn’t make his reaction ‘okay,’ bc violence is never the answer, but he’s shown before he believes in bringing AI back through backups, so it may not even have occurred to him that she wouldn’t have one. Additionally, we don’t know Jin has a back up. We can’t say he ‘can very well be brought back again’ bc we don’t actually know that. We don’t know if ZAIA kept that data, Williamson just said they ‘repaired’ him. And that’s also it, even if it exists, ZAIA has it. Not Horobi. Also… This is KR, they could figure out some MacGyver to bring Izu back, even if it’s not clear now, though that’s more of a meta thing. Actually, what I would love to happen is Horobi helps bring her back, maybe as part of therapy.

Look, disagreeing is fine. That’s why I’ve been trying to keep my negative reactions out of the main tag. I’m not trying to get into fights, I’m just venting. I’m analysing what I see and interpret. It’s not that Horobi was ‘right’ it’s that he’s mentally and emotionally unstable rn bc of what happened to him, he should not be expected to know how to react calmly to things, esp if under pressure and in an intense situation. I also literally just wrote a post about how I don’t think it’s fair to blame Izu entirely, either. I comment about blaming the humans (esp Yua and Fuwa (whom I love dearly), but they did escalate the situation and then leave Aruto alone there, wtf did they leave him alone???) bc if they’d listened to Izu at the start we’d likely not be in this mess, or if they’d actually tried to reach out to him before, things could have gone differently.

This is my point of view. If this is upsetting to you, which it seems to be from the tone of this Ask, I recommend blocking my blog, bc these are my feelings on this, and I’m not going to change. I’d block you so that you wouldn’t have to see my posts, but then you wouldn’t be able to see this answer, which I hope explains some of my position, so I’ll leave it for now. Besides, in the end, it’s just a tv show, and it doesn’t actually matter, for all I can get very emotional about things, esp bc Horobi as a character became very important to me.

I hope at least some of that was coherent. I have a hard time articulating my thoughts (part of why I repeat myself so much), and I have been extremely exhausted for the past few days bc my sleep schedule is messed up, so it’s even worse.

I’m not apologising for having an opinion and an interpretation of a piece of media, and I never will. That’s not something I should be required to apologise for. I’m not hurting anyone, bc, again, it’s just a tv show. I’m just in my corner, rambling. I don’t mean any of it as an attack against people who disagree, everyone interpret things differently. For instance, I have things in media that I dislike so much it makes me feel physically ill to think about them, but I just filter them out and it’s fine. I’m even on friendly terms (I hope?) w/ people who like some of those things that make me feel sick, but it’s fine, bc we just don’t discuss them. I know people I disagree about things w/, less viscerally, and have actually had discussions w/ them about that stuff.

Having differing opinions is one thing, but I don’t appreciate the aggressive tone here. I’m saying this partially bc I do understand getting very fired up about something, even if it’s fictional (*looks pointedly at my own blog*), so I’m assuming you just feel very strongly on the subject, but please be aware of how your words might come across—bc the another part of the reason I’m saying this is that I know if I had been in a slightly different mood when I saw this, it might have greatly upset me to unwell levels. I hope it was not your intention to attack me on anything, and that this is just something you feel passionate about, but as someone who often struggles w/ tone and knows it… Please consider it. It can be harmful.

Dear Baby - Day 61, 2/18

Oh baby I’m so sorry it has been so long but I was feeling a little unwell physically and mentally for a few days but, more important things to be discussed!! YESTERDAY I GOT TO SEE YOU BABY!!!! I got to see your teeny tiny little body and your flickering heart beat! You are so strong already dude!!! My friend David, he has a kid of his own with his wife, he CRIED when I showed you to him! And my mommy?? The look on her face when she first got a glimpse of you is a look of absolute wonderment I’ve never in my life seen on her. She teared up too! I was just amazed. Absolutely SHOCKED and so relieved you were in there and healthy! So many people were so excited to see a picture of you finally, baby you are so loved!! Daddy hopes you’re a boy and not only have I thought that since very early on, but based on the Ramzi Theory, you’re a boy! But…we’ll see for sure soon enough. Since I knew you were okay, I finally got to announce you to the world! By world I mean twitter, my dad/your grandpa and your aunt Ella! And it actually went so well! We’ve got nothing but support from all of my friends and my daddy accepted it quickly and gave me a big hug and went on talking and making terrible unfunny jokes! Ella is probably still shocked and confused since she doesn’t even know how babies are made but she was excited for sure. Everyone’s so excited for you baby! But not nearly as much as I am. Today I went to my friend Hannah’s baby shower and met a couple of her mom friends! One baby was a 5 m/o boy and one was about your age out of the womb, almost 9 weeks! How cool! Hannah teared up reading the card I got her which made me tear up, as well as realizing in a few months she’ll be at my shower watching me open gifts from her, holding her sweet baby Violet! By the way, you’ve got a friend in her! Right now I’m with your daddy. I came to see him tonight and we’ve actually had a good time together! Right now we’re out Pokémon hunting, he’s driving around and we actually did some walking. He also just peed WHILE walking a few minutes ago…he’s ridiculous and swears you’ll watch nothing but Pokémon! He recently lost his job and we talked about him maybe just moving to Fort Worth. He could stay with me until he wanted/was able to get his own place and it’d be easier to find a job in a bigger city. Not to mention how much easier that would make things thru the rest of the pregnancy and parenting you together!!! I told him I don’t want him to feel pressured to, it’s just an idea that might make things lots easier on both of us. And it’s fine if he chooses not to but I’m happy he had already considered that before I even brought it up and secretly hope he decides to do it bc of how easy it would make things. Anyways baby, that’s all I got for you. I’m so happy you’re safe and sound and I can’t wait to see you again and learn more about you. So many people love you so much and NO ONE can wait for you to get here…but we will, so you can be big and strong!! Mommy loves you.

Oh as an update, Tara dipped on the car deal like 2 days before I was supposed to get it and give my first payment :-) and I got the daycare job but I don't think it will be good for me to stay there thru the pregnancy so I'm looking for something a little less physically/emotionally demanding.