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firesofdainix · 2 years

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October 28: Swap | Delivery

I am having the biggest brain worms for my Green Kai AU right now.

@morrotober

AO3 Version

Green Kai AU

CW: neglect, vomiting, suicidal thoughts

There was a storm raging through the city on what was supposed to be a fine day. The sound of the downpour was grating Morro’s ears as he attempts to find some semblance of peace and quiet in his own vapid room, completely scrawled with incoherent messages Kai had written when he was in charge of his body for a month. He refuses to look at them, afraid of what he will become when he sees them. Maybe he can turn to the very monster he’s seeking to eradicate from his mind, still continuing to haunt him like a ghost in need of revenge. Honestly, the thought of Kai running free in Ninjago enrages him, to the point he’s made the point to vandalize the room by insulting his messages. The others won’t care anyway if he claims Kai did them. They always let Kai off the hook.

A sense of bitterness floods through him, clutching his pencil as he currently reads studies about possessions and the like. They always did excuse Kai and his actions, but when it comes to him… they never really did, do they?

Bitterness washes over the shores and is replaced by a tidal wave of anger, irreplaceable, but able to be squashed down through so much effort.

Do you know how many years, instances, and occasions Morro has the chance to show his anger, his annoyance about how he’s being treated… yet chooses not to say anything at all? Many times, and in the course of three years, it started to break the dam, the walls in which they are currently hiding. He’s contained his own wind for years, but the thing is, wind cannot be contained. It can only be controlled.

Morro wishes he can run as fast as the wind can. Anything to get out of here, really.

He starts to scratch his arms; a habit he’s had the misfortune to acquire since Kai’s possession of his body. It has the ability to keep himself grounded at all times, at the cost of his skin earning red blotches or scratch marks all over. It was certainly not the best new habit of his.

… It beats having to run to the toilet and scrounge up everything he’s eaten the past few days and into the bowl simply because of Kai’s poor decisions in never maintaining his diet. That is a very unpleasant experience. He wants to only make sure he does it once. Just… once.

Morro sighs, putting his head back on the headrest of his chair, and makes the mistake of looking upwards.

He feels Bile sweltering in his throat immediately, seeing a crudely sketched eye and Ninjargon he couldn't read because he was already pushing himself out of his now uncomfortable chair, not paying any mind as it falls with a crash or the fact he almost bumps into Lloyd carrying a tray of food onto his room and makes his way down the toilet. He doesn't hear Lloyd calling after him, rather making it clear he wants to be in solitude for the time being.

He vomits all the contents in his stomach the same time thunder booms across the monastery, rattling the foundations as the downpour becomes stronger. The wind howls, either because of the tempest or because of his current suffering. He feels his knees buckle, as the world around him swirls out of control, like a tornado of misfortune laying in his wake.

When he finally leaves all the contents of his stomach into the toilet bowl, he chokes for a moment, as if he was waiting to get possessed, head rolling back before it returns to its proper place as he, with shaking hands, helps himself up.

He scrubs his mouth with a vengeance in the sink, trying not to look at his reflection in the mirror. He doesn't want to see Kai staring right back at him, those red eyes filled with rage and regret. There were only feelings of hatred and disgust over the older ghost, something he feels is permanent. How dare he not die in the hands of the rain sprawling down on them like solar flares. How dare he be shielded by his own sister simply because they think he can change?

Morro has seen his mind— he's seen what he's capable of thinking about, and none of it has any images of Lloyd or the others, only fit for the glory that was so hard to fathom for someone like him.

He lets the faucet run as he tries scrubbing the taste of bile and waste in his mouth to the point he can feel his gums bleeding, the copper taste of blood spreading with the toothpaste. He spits it out in the sink as he gasps, trying not to think about Kai's possession. Everyone knows about it, but they still act the same as they did.

It's one of the many realizations that no one in this damn group cared about him.

(He forgets how Cole and Zane were the first ones to attend to his unconscious body, and how when he woke up since he came to, they were the ones who tended to him. Everything else becomes invisible when he feels as if the entire world sees him as a ghost himself.)

When he feels as if he's loitered and lingered in the bathroom for an obscene amount of time, he gathers the confidence to open the bathroom door.

He comes almost colliding over Lloyd Garmadon when he exits the bathroom door.

He just has enough time to catch the both of them before they hurtle towards the floor. It was an ugly sight.

Morro stares at the Green Ninja with a slightly disgruntled look. "What were you doing?"

Lloyd detaches himself from Morro, but there was no hint of that underlying coldness and disgust in his eyes like there usually is whenever they have the mishap of encountering each other. He looks, particularly, tense, his fingers running over his hair and his eyes averting.

"I was checking up on you," he says in a calm voice, but it has a lot of layers.

Morro stares at the younger boy incredulously. "You were checking on my condition."

"Yeah."

He continues to stare as if Lloyd has actually unlocked the Oni form he wanted to have since Garmadon was banished. This was an… interesting turn of events. He's never been quite as abashed as he is now.

So, out of the absolute confusion and ludicrity that Morro can only handle in a day, he asks, "Okay… but why?"

This is when Lloyd meets his eyes again, which are now filled with some form of regret. This day is getting so strange he's not sure if he should slap himself or if he actually drowned in the toilet, which is why he's having visions like these. To be honest, he should have drowned himself in the tub when he got the chance.

Lloyd pauses as if he's actually thinking about his words. Oh joy, he finally found his sense of preservation. "Morro, we don't always see eye-to-eye about, well, a lot of things."

"That's probably because you don't let me disagree with you." Morro didn't know why he is currently being bold in the face of the Green Ninja, but he does think he deserves to be blunt about the way they treat him.

Whether or not Lloyd feels guilty or annoyed at the intrusion, he doesn't really share it. "But the way we thought we lost you to a ghost, even if it turns out it was Kai in the end, we felt… so much regret in the way we treated you. How I treated you. I went too far into thinking that you weren't part of the team because I was filled with so much guilt when it comes to remembering what happened to Kai. I thought the universe was messing with us when you came into our lives."

Lloyd pauses to take a breath, but Morro's own heart was beating as fast as the wind can take him. Is… is this really happening? After all those years being stuck in a household that doesn't want anything to do with him?

Then a sense of sourness floods his senses.

Was he seriously reflecting on his wrongdoings now? Since Kai's presence (while he is off to FSM-knows-where) is finally confirmed and they are reminded about it every day?

Wow, they really have their priorities straight.

Lime-green eyes meet green-gold ones. They were filled with regret, yes, but… Morro is done with having to forgive every excuse they have out of their ass. "I'm… so sorry, Morro. I really am."

It doesn't take Morro even a second to make a response. He was unimpressed by his apology, and frankly, he presumes that he only started feeling guilty because Kai is back and he doesn't have to think about him in an oddly depressing light any longer. He can understand this apology if it was delivered to him, what, three years ago? After displaying his dedication in wanting to make Ninjago a safe and better place for individuals, this apology is three years too late. And he has the right to whether or not to accept the deplorations he was given.

He doesn't. Sorry is just a way to show a surface of remorsefulness.

The rain becomes louder with each drop as if it knows the severity of the situation as well.

He lets out a chuckle, which almost sounds too much like Kai's own. He hated it, but it has that tone of underlying rancor in it.

"You know, I would have accepted your apology if you gave it to me three years ago." He begins, a bitter smile on his face. "The thing is: isn't your apology a little too late?"

Lloyd only averts his gaze, but he doesn't deny it.

"I spent three years," he says with gritted teeth, holding up three fingers to emphasize his point, "three years dealing with comparisons made between Kai and I, how I still continue to never make you guys feel satisfied and happy with me being your team member. Did you ever think about how your actions influence the people around you? I spent years of my life trying to distance myself from the name of Kai to the extent I haven't unlocked my True Potential yet. And you have the nerve to complain? I didn't mean to steal his clothes, his room, or his life. But you guys treat me like I'm just a carbon copy of the guy who possessed me. Oh, by the way, did you know he did the worst things when he was in my body? Or will you keep excusing him just because he's your brother?"

Lloyd, thankfully, didn't say anything. He continues giving off the energy in which he knows he's wrong yet he couldn't find it in himself to admit it.

But… that didn't really do well to improve his image which Morro has already built within him. Because right now, Morro wants nothing to do with this team.

He nods, a little relieved he finally lets go of his feelings, brushing his eyes as he feels tears blurring his vision. He walks past Lloyd, who looks tired and remorseful, but again, he's a bit tardy in that aspect. "I'm taking a break from all this hero stuff. I'll come back when I want to. Or," He turns to Lloyd with a nonchalant, authoritative look, "You beg me to come back."

The blonde nods. Slowly, he fumbles over his words of affirmation. "Yes. You have my permission to get a break."

Morro scoffs. "I don't need your permission. Goodbye, Lloyd."

He doesn't let Lloyd get the last say in this; he's dealt with it all, and frankly, he didn't want to elongate his conversation with the young man.

A few hours later, when the rain that had been pouring all day ceases, he walks from the middle of the night, shrouded in shadow as he exits the monastery.

#ninjago #lego ninjago #morrotober #morrotober 2022 #manji wips #green kai au #morro ninjago #morro wu #lloyd montgomery garmadon #lloyd garmadon

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