#ninjago littlest treehorn
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Littlest treehorn AU
Kai is sitting on the sofa playing the Untitled Goose Game.
Jay: “watcha playin?”
Kai: “Untitled Zane Game. You can’t tell me this little shit goose is NOT Zane”
Jay: “…..man you really hate him”
Kai: “I want him turned into a car jack”
#ninjago incorrect quotes#ninjago zane#ninjago jay#ninjago kai#ninjago littlest treehorn#the littlest treehorn
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The team is out and about when some sleazy looking guy comes up to the team.
??????: “thats a real nice nindroid youve got there. How much you want for it?”
Kai: “…..what did you just say to me you little idiot!?”
He grabs the stranger by the collar of his shirt
Kai: “he’s not an IT, he’s a HE! And he’s not for sale you slime ball! Get out of my sight or we will see if human meat really browns when cooked!”
He throws the stranger to the ground and uses his elemental powers to start a small ball of fire in his hand. The stranger gets up and runs off.
Nya: “…..I thought you said you hated Zane”
Kai: “I do!….what ever. Let’s go. Out of my way fridge magnet”
He shoves Zane out of his way.
#ninjago incorrect quotes#ninjago littlest treehorn#the littlest treehorn#ninjago kai#ninjago nya#ninjago zane
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Killow is about to completely demolish Zane. He stops and leans in a little closer.
Killow: “wait. Hold on a sec”
The whole fight stops
Killow: “is this one high!?”
He points at Zane.
Cole: “he might be. Lemme….oh yea he’s high”
Cole checks Zane’s eyes by flicking his fingers in Zane’s face.
Ultra Violet: “you guys get your nindroid high!? HOW!?”
#ninjago incorrect quotes#ninjago littlest treehorn#the littlest treehorn#ninjago ultra violet#ninjago killow#ninjago zane#ninjago cole#this just in!#high as balls nindroid gets into fight#throws up on himself#calls his wife to come get him#he frew up
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Littlest treehorn
How the public thinks Pixal and Zane’s marrige is like:
Pixal: “he’s just so troubled! Sure he lashes out but he doesnt know any better. Each scrape…each bite…each kick…I know theres some bit of human in there somewhere I just have to reach it!”
How the marriage actually is:
Pixal: “ZANE JULIAN BORG!!! Did you eat that whole fucking loaf of bread by yourself!?”
Zane freezes up in pure fear. He has the heel of the bread in one hand as Pixal pokes her head out. She spots it before he can hide.
Pixal: “…..your big trouble mr!”
#ninjago incorrect quotes#ninjago littlest treehorn#the littlest treehorn#ninjago zane#ninjago pixal#she really does call the shots#he’s bigger but Pixal is more scary#don’t worry she wouldent hit him#she dosent run like that
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Littlest treehorn: Taking place when Wu has been turned into a baby
Cole is holding little baby Wu out because he's a little smelly.
Cole: "Zane! Come get your baby! come on come get him"
Zane's head pokes out from the inside of the half of the bounty they've been stranded with in the realm of oni and dragon. Little baby Wu starts making grabby hands at Zane and grunting while kicking his little legs.
Cole: "oh my-...Jay! Jay look! look how cute this is!"
Jay: "....this is the only therapy I need now. Zane you are a therapy nindroid now"
Cole: "hahahah! we get him one of those service animal vests that says "do not pet, I am working"
#ninjago incorrect quotes#ninjago littlest treehorn#the littlest treehorn#ninjago zane#ninjago cole#ninjago jay#ninjago wu
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Littlest treehorn AU
Jay: "this is my emotional support nindroid"
Zane is sitting on the sofa next to Jay just eating a little cracker snack.
Jay: "He helps me to keep calm when I'm feeling anxiety"
Jay starts petting Zane's head like he's a cat.
Jay: ".....but sometimes......I hate him"
Kai: "I always hate him...."
#ninjago incorrect quotes#ninjago littlest treehorn#ninjago jay#ninjago zane#ninjago kai#the littlest treehorn
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Littlest treehorn AU. Taking place when Lloyd is far younger and still relatively new to the team. He's getting fed up with the amount of time Zane has been sleeping. Zane sleeps A LOT and Lloyd wants to play.
Kai: "not now little man. Maybe later. Why don't you go bug Zane"
Lloyd: "he's being boring and fucking sleeping agian"
Kai: "hey! you watch your nasty mouth under this roof. Besides, that paddy wagon destoned jerk is like 100 years old by this point, he's sleepy"
Lloyd: "master says you dislike Zane because Zane kicked you in the nuts once"
Kai: "He knows what he's doing! he has it out for me!"
Lloyd: "....Zane is the one destined for a paddy wagon?"
Kai: "you wana train some more!?"
Lloyd takes off running as fast as he can.
#ninjago incorrect quotes#ninjago littlest treehorn#the littlest treehorn#ninjago kai#ninjago zane#ninjago lloyd
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Feral Zane AU. Zane is sitting on his poor younger brother. Zane is bigger than Echo and he uses it to his advantage to pick on Echo playfully.
Nya: “Hey!!! Wild Side! Get off your brother! Don’t sit on him like that!”
Echo: “yea. Get your big butt off me”
He shrugs Zane off. They start play fighting and wrestling. Echo legit bites Zane’s arm!
Zane: “no bite! My job!”
He swats Echo’s head once making an audible ‘twong!’ Sound as metal hits metal.
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Jay leans in the door to the hanger bay where Pixal spends a huge majority of her time.
Jay: “Hey Pixal”
Pixal: “hello Jay! Nice to hear from you”
Jay: “I came in here to warn you it’s fall….Zane’s courting season”
Pixal: “son of a bitch! We are married yet he does this every single fall!”
Jay: “it’s not his fault”
Pixal: “I know it’s not. But it’s still a pain”
Jay: “I think your courting song is very pretty! I love hearing it!”
Pixal: “your so sweet!….but tell him I’ve left on a mission for 4 months”
#ninjago littlest treehorn#the littlest treehorn#ninjago jay#ninjago pixal#ninjago zane#ninjago incorrect quotes
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Littlest treehorn AU Zane back when he was first made. He’s sitting upright in bed staring at the ceiling while his father is sleep on the far end of the room. He’s just listening to bellowing outside from treehorns nearby. He begins to get scared so he gets up from his bed, inches over to his fathers bed, then just crawls under the bed bumping it a few times as he wriggles under. This wakes his father up.
Dr. Julian: “….oh Zane. It’s ok. It’s alright baby boy”
He leans over the edge of the bed to peer under. Zane is laying on his tummy fear riddling his face.
Dr. Julian: “you want me to come under there with you?”
Zane nods. Dr. Julian rolls out of bed and kneels down to crawl under the bed with his son. He wraps his arms around Zane’s head making sure to cover his ears with his arms. Zane makes this weird squeaking sound and closes his eyes, burying his face into his fathers chest.
Dr. Julian: “oh my quiet quiet son. You are so sweet and so cute”
Cut to 19 years later Zane is huddled and tucked away under his own bed. Cole is standing in the doorway leaning on the frame.
Cole: “….you comin out?….don’t take a offense big guy but why do you do that….”
Zane: “……I-…..Not know”
Cole: “hmmm. Well theres a ton of flower petals out here for you. Id get them before they wilt, last ones of the season”
Cole shuffled over to the bed and kneels down and peer under, lifting the bed skirt up and smiling when he sees Zane’s hand retreat into the dark. All Cole can see is two bright blue eyes glowing from the dark under bed.
Cole: “your therapist called me today. He said there was a bit of a breakthrough? Is that why your hiding under here?”
Zane: “…..am I……crazy? Kai say-“
Cole: “fuck what Kai says. He knows better and thats on him. I wouldn’t say your crazy, your not crazy. Everyone has something thats up with them. Look at me! I have a binge eating disorder! Kai’s an air head, Jay has seizers, Nya is missing a leg, and Lloyd is only a sliver of human. No one is normal here and thats ok! You fit right in. Just look at you! Over coming social anxiety and selective mutism and joining the work force!? Your doing better than most people that are not feral”
Zane: “I have wife!”
Cole: “thats right Tarzan man!! You got a wife”
Cole reaches his hand under the bed and pokes Zane in what he hopes is Zane’s tummy. Zane’s hands gently wrap around Cole’s hand, almost hugging Cole’s arm.
Zane: “is hard to adjust….”
Cole: “I know it is bud. It’s gonna take a little while. Ill bring the petals in here then ill read to ya how about that”
Zane: “….please”
#ninjago incorrect quotes#ninjago zane#ninjago cole#ninjago littlest treehorn#ninjago fanfiction#sweet stuff#littlest treehorn#rot your teeth out#zane is very emotional#yes Cole calls him Tarzan Man#pixal calls him Road Kill#Jay calls him Boy…like a dog#Nya just calls him brat
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Littlest treehorn AU. Zane and the team are sitting down to watch a movie together. Theyve invited over people outside the team aas well like Dareth, Okino, Skylor, and yes Scales. Jay iserts the disk into the DVD player then backs away to fumble with the remote.
Zane is squeezed in between Lloyd and Cole and honestly only the primary tea as well as Skylor have heard him ever speak, Dareth has just always assumed he cannot speak after having his run ins with Mr. E. The movie begins and the video qaulity is just....bad. Very very bad not to mention choppy.
Jay: "oh come on! what is that!"
Scales: "maybe the disc is scratched?
Lloyd: "it's ok just take it out and-"
Zane: "it looks like ass"
Everyone completely freezes and slowly looks back at cutie innocent little Zane. Dareth is shocked! shocked to his core and Okino is as well. Skylor and Lloyd are trying their best to hold in their laughter.
Zane: "....complete ass crack"
the whole room starts busting up laughing
#ninjago incorrect quotes#ninjago littlest treehorn#the littlest treehorn#Zane's first cusswords#complete ass crack#ninjago skales#ninjago jay#ninjago cole#ninjago lloyd#ninjago okino#ninjago skylor#ninjago dareth
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Littlest treehorn AU.
Jay: “hi boy!!”
Zane: “hi”
Jay: “ohhhh he’s chatty this morning! Can you say my name?”
Zane: “Jay Walker”
Jay: “good boy”
Lloyd: “can you say Jay is a motherfucker”
Zane: “Ja-“
Jay: “NO!! BAD!! BOTH OF YOU!!!”
#ninjago incorrect quotes#ninjago zane#ninjago jay#ninjago lloyd#ninjago littlest treehorn#the littlest treehorn
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Littlest treehorn AU. Lloyd looks around the room, checking to see if anyone is there. He scoots closer to Zane and ruffles his hair.
Lloyd: “hey buddy. Hey. Can you say fuck? Say fuck”
Zane sort of narrows his eyebrows.
Zane: “…….fuck”
Lloyd starts snickering. Later on Cole grabs Lloyd by the scruff of his neck so he can’t run away.
Cole: “Lloyd Montgomery Garmadon did you teach Zane curse words”
Lloyd: “….i-it was Morro!”
Morro, who’s been living inside of Lloyd’s head, switches control.
Morro: “no it wasn’t. Thats funny as hell but imma be a snitch. Sorry dragon tales”
#ninjago incorrect quotes#ninjago littlest treehorn#littlest treehorn#ninjago zane#ninjago lloyd#ninjago morro#ninjago cole
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Littlest treehorn AU. Kai grabs Zane by the back of his neck and gets really close.
Kai: “I know you can speak you padded room goer”
Zane narrows his eyebrows as Kai and scrunches up his nose at Kai.
Nya: “Kai you better be getting along with that boy!”
Nya leans in the door. Kai has got Zane in a head lock and the both of them are playing it off like they are just rough housing.
Kai: “of course! I just love the little stink ball!! You know! Getting real used to the ferret and mildew smell! Jay is right! Very comforting!”
Nya smiles and nods as she goes back to what she was doing. Zane kicks out the back of Kai’s knees so he falls to the floor.
Kai: “oh you horses ass! Ill put you in the trash compacter you red ringed cheap ass Xbox motherfucker”
Zane puts his foot right on Kai’s chest, pinning him to the floor.
Zane: “tell Cole! I tell Cole!”
Kai: “AHAH!! I knew you could speak!”
Lloyd: “…..what are you two doing?”
Kai and Zane at the same time: “mind your own business green bean”
#ninjago incorrect quotes#ninjago zane#ninjago cole#ninjago lloyd#ninjago kai#ninjago nya#ninjago littlest treehorn#the littlest treehorn#kai dosent like Zane#they don’t get along#nya wants them to get along#kai thinks Zane is crazy#zane thinks Kai is stupid
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Littlest treehorn AU. Everyone is rushing around to get ready for an event. Zane hasent fixed his slightly messy bed head just yet becasue he’s trying to get ready to.
Jay: “come on you guys let’s go go!! We are going to be late!!”
Kai: “Zane your hair is still a mess”
Jay: “someone fix Zane’s hair please? Multitask will we!? I need to put my shoes on. If his hair is still a mess in 10 minutes it’s too late, throw him away”
Kai: “upp! You heard the man! Gotta throw that crazy hunk of metal away!”
Wu: “he said give it 10 minutes Kai. We’ve all been kicked stop being so butt hurt about it”
#ninjago incorrect quotes#ninjago zane#ninjago jay#ninjago wu#ninjago littlest treehorn#the littlest treehorn
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Treehorn Zane AU. Wu has taken Zane with him to a farmers market to pick up a few things and give Zane more experience handling normal social situations. He got Zane on a child's harness and leash to keep him from taking off.
Stranger: "oh! what a fancy nindroid! never seen one with such detail and design before! He looks like he has tattoos! where did you get him!"
Wu: "oh I found him in the woods, he died, then my boys found him again chained up in some idiots basement"
Stranger: ".....ok then....umm way is he on a harness?"
Wu: "oh he sends people to the hospital with broken bones when he gets stressed out"
Zane picks up a mango and starts looking it over.
Wu: "......he's vegan fed though....so"
#ninjago incorrect quotes#ninjago littlest treehorn#littlest treehorn#ninjago wu#ninjago feral zane#ninjago au#ninjago zane
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